I never really talk about any of this stuff so it's been pretty daunting putting it out there but hoping it helps... there is 2 more chapters to go and then my new song Troubles comes out. it's the most ive opened up in a song about what ive been through with my health. I'm hoping we can all come together to generate more awareness and support for people who are struggling. it's available to pre-order and it massively helps if you're able to purchase the track on iTunes or bandcamp. love x renmakesmusic.lnk.to/Troubles
I am so honored and awed that I can hear this terrible tale, knowing that while you're not really and truly well yet, you are still here, and ar better, are inspired and sharing music and yourself with the world. No shame, no resistance to sharing your Truth, just Ren, a Microphone, and a painful but hopefully cathartic release of what once was and is now behind you. You're beautiful, thank you so much.
I would like to take this moment to give Ren's mother her flowers. To see her baby boy suffer so much must of been heartbreaking. How she supported, comforted and encouraged Ren through those difficult years is a true testament of a mother love. So, if I may be so bold, on behalf of all RENagades.....With all our heatrs....THANK YOU!
Ditto. I couldn't help but to see myself rubbing my son's feet humming him the tune I sand him as a baby as he is in such pain. Hugs and Love to Rens Mama and Ren too 🫂 🌺❤️
Oh yes, the agony she must have felt to watch her son go through such agonies. I am sure she suffered. What a brave and loving mother to stand with him through it all. She definitely is a champion.
Once again: The mere fact that you are here with us right now, telling us your story is a miracle. You are a miracle. I hope the right people see it. Sufferers but also doctors, specialists of all kinds who maybe could make a difference. All I know is that you will not stop advocating until your dying breath. And I will be right there with you.
For you to be standing here today as a counterexample to all the ways the medical system might have tried to treat you is such a big deal. Appreciate you digging into these painful memories.
I'm really holding your mum in such loving energy. She was your first line of defense against the horrors of that time and all times. What a treasure she is. Loved watching that phone call to her when you got #1. Thought my heart would burst.
I broke down and wept when I saw Ren telling his mother on the phone that his album was #1. I am so happy he shared that moment with her. I wept again today as Ren spoke of all she did in his darkest times. She deserves so much of our love. I know I will be eternally grateful for her loving care of her dear son. 💜
As a mom, this broke my heart. It is so instinctual to go back to humming the songs you once comforted your baby with when you are at a loss of how else to help them. 💔 I am so happy for you and your whole family that you are not still stuck in the hopelessness.
Definitely the hardest Chapter to watch but I got emotional till I saw you singing “Pocket Full of Pain”. Your musical talent was always there & kept you alive. I wiped away my tears watching you sing. Thank you to your Mum, who was an Angel by your side…always. Peace.
How could anyone not love this kid and his perseverance? The music he's released along his journey is a gift to so many. His music was the chisel he used to shape his pain and create musical masterpieces. A true tortured artist. Love this kid! He's earned everything he's achieving now... and much more.
Saw professeur perronne, the french specialist in Lyme disease, saying he believes a third of psychiatric hospital could be helped by treating the patient for Lyme disease
I feel like I should have words, but I don't. Just a profound gratitude and genuine awe at your vulnerability and strength. You're helping millions. Big, big love. 💜
There is no way I could ever know how you were truly feeling at that time Ren. I can only say I am so glad you got yourself through the hell to be able to give us all an audible triage of your life.
Your story continues Your journey goes on You’re telling your story Through words and with song A snapshot of existence So we can all sing along Having gone through what you went through You chose to hold on Your determinations inspiring That hunger, that drive Without a doubt, the reason Why you’re still alive Your life has a purpose Your words carry weight You’re opening dialogue With what you create Continue to sing out Remember to dance You’re coming in clearly To all of your fans Keep lifting up ships Stay surrounded by friends And like that homeless man once told you “It’ll be all right, Ren”
Oh boy, when I first listened to those two young street buskers a few years ago and was blown away by it and had to play it to my son (a little older than you REN). I wondered why they weren’t famous. Then reconnecting when watching Justin Hawkins interview with same young lad! I was stoked! Now, proudly following your journey, laughing, crying, singing, dancing. You young man are special, thank you for sharing your unbelievable journey, much love to your Mum and partner. I so look forward to your new music endeavors and hope your health keeps improving. Proud to be a Renegade. ❤
Ren you are an incredible writer. I have had illness for 30 years now and I would not have a clue where to start or how to vocalise it. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Love you xxx
like others have said, i'm so glad your mom was there. i was tearing up whenever you spoke about her. having someone like your mom is so important when you're sick. imo, she's an angel like the others. also, i'm so glad you got your laptop back that day. it would have been too awful for you to lose it in that moment.
I KNOW cause your telling my story I HAVE LYME 3 blood transfusions & near death spiritual awakening & been on antibiotics for 2 years WE KNOW HELL & I’M TRUSTING JESUS ✝️🙏☮️❤️
I believe in angels and I’m glad you received a message that gave you peace and a renewed sense of hope just when you needed it most. I also believe that Joe has been with you. The Freckled Angels album will always be special. I can just picture Joe singing along to each song at the top of his lungs! You are an inspiration in SO many ways!! Thank you for sharing your story 🫂 I’m so glad you didn’t give up and continued to try to find a way out. I remember watching your old vlogs and even in the midst of the horrors you were experiencing, you were a ray of light to others and a powerful advocate for much needed change. You indeed have a divine purpose and you are already a catalyst for change. The RENeffect is real 💕
This one really hurt to watch. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to tell this story in its full, ugly truth to thousands of people. Reliving your darkest moments and opening yourself up to us in this way takes tremendous courage. I am so glad you've gotten better, and glad I discovered your music. I'm not religious, and I'm quite the skeptic when it comes to the occult, but your story really makes me believe anything is possible. Thank you again for sharing 💛
You have been to the depths of hell and back, I am so glad you found a path back to life. You are now so many people's unexpected angel leading them back to life.
I've been crying a lot during these videos. For what you've been through. Also for the triggers they've been inevitably setting off for my own pain and darkness. As far as I've come over the years, there are still so many wounds that were barely patched up and left to fester. Your music and these videos have cut open the sutures and begun scraping out the poison and pus and rot - forcing deeper examination (and self-forgiveness) than I've yet undergone.... It's heavy and brutal, but I am grateful. It's vital. Shoutout to all the parents, specifically the mothers, who stand by their children as they navigate the Dark. I know I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for my own. 🙏🏻
Dear Ren, I have just read some of the other comments and they have said everything I want to say about you, your mother, the homeless black man, and the painfulness of recounting your experience during that year. In your comment, you express the hope of generating awareness and support for people who are struggling. You have just given such a clear account of what it is like to be in a psychotic state that I cannot imagine that those who listen to it won't feel empathy not only for you but also for others in a similar situation. Not only that, but you also give meaning to what might otherwise seem like random acts of madness. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for that. The majority of us who listen to your story do not personally know you. But what I, and I think many others, see is your intelligence, courage, fortitude, tenacity, generosity, empathy, your special relationship with music and your capacity to communicate at a deep level through music. I hope that piecing together and telling your story, as painful as it is, helps you as much as it does others. I wish you an abundance of good things in the rest of your life as it unfolds.
“It’s by no means a work of art.” What are you on about man? Stay humble and all, but that is even literally incorrect. Much love! Pocket Full of Pain is my favorite on that record.
Hello, Breakspear for Shakespeare! Seriously though Ren. From one human being to another, I am so proud of you, and although saying this doesn’t mean anything to you (because only those who you know irl are the people with whom you want to have be proud of you, count) and I have heard you say on many occasions that you don’t really like it when people compliment you, for the same reason, and because you struggle with that kind of attention. I as a human being, I am trying to respect your personal boundaries but I am also compelled to share that I feel that pride for you, as do all of those who follow you, I’m sure. I’m proud and I’m grateful for your resilience. You are NOT a victim Ren, you are a survivor, and you are able to reach the masses with your music and lyricism, yet you find yourself compelled to go the extra mile for your audience and that is mostly unheard of in our professions. That feeling of compulsion for your fans is no different to my compulsion to say "Ren, I am proud of you, and we cannot possibly know whether you are the disguised messiah that walks among us, and who has found the best possible medium that allows you to reach the most people. And Ren, this could be true, and it could also be true that you are very blissfully unaware of this yourself atm." I had to share my thoughts with you man, much love and respect always 🙏🏼🤍🪽🦋💫🕊️🐝
HEY!! Well done for getting it out. I kept the lid on for 35 years, then it sort of fell off. Keep being you, do what you need to do to get yourself through everything. You have a million Renegades right behind you, supporting you all the way. Take care xx
Nothing scarier than hallucinations that seem so real while you're sitting on the side watching yourself watching the scenario unfold - thank you for sharing as I have never met anyone else who knows what it's like.
It was hard to listen to you and this part of your story. I felt your pain. How hard it must have been to write all these chapters... to summarize... to delve into the darkest depths again. But my gut feeling also tells me that this is a big piece of therapy for you, which is hard and exhausting, but so incredibly important to integrate everything you had to go through. From the bottom of my heart I hope that it gets easier and easier for you and that your physical and emotional pain subsides more and more. Thank you for everything you do for this world. Thanks for being you, Ren ❤
@@kellyt5341 I just want to create a force field around him. Each chapter breaks my heart in new ways. I hesitate to tell how many ways that I relate to everything he writes because I know that he’s highly empathetic. But the bottom line is that he has made so so many of us feel seen, heard and UNDERSTOOD- more than those closest to us who literally see us struggling and hear how much pain we’re in and how hopeless it all feels. I adore Ren.
I want to send a little love to Ren's mom. As a mother myself, I can't imagine watching one of my children going through this pain and anguish with no way to help them. I feel for Ren so much, but I feel for his mother too.
Okay, this one killed me! I didn't just have tears falling on my cheeks, I was full-fledged sobbing. Crutch is one of my favorite songs in the Ren catalog. It touches me in all ways.
I sobbed watching this Chapter. I've just had knee surgery this morning and I don't feel well and hearing Ren very emotionally talking really hit me hard. I really thank The Lord above for keeping you here for us @Renmakes music, You are so loved. Your Mom sounds like a wonderful Mum.
The simple fact that your work gives me so much pleasure, so much reflection, calm, questions and moments of introspection, forces me to (at the very least) have to tell you this: - Admiration (I already had it since I discovered your work). - Respect (even greater after today) - Empathy (if you need a sincere hug, without unnecessary words or subsequent conversation, count on me). Thank you Ren.
Freckled Angels the song means a huge amount to me. It says ever single word i needed to express my pain for the sudden death of my partner. I have sung that song out loud on repeat with tears streaming down my face. Thank you ❤
This was the section I was dreading. I somehow held it together during the previous chapters, but lost it this time. No one should have to feel that kind of pain. But I can't wait to hear more about the turning point, things are finally about to get better! ❤❤
Jeez Ren, speechless watching these. Just when you think you have an appreciation for all that you've been through, the detail brings it home and demonstrates the true phenomenon of your grit, determination, resolve, whatever you want to call it. Unreal mate. And your Mum deserves huge credit for looking after her boy as well as she did. Nice to see a couple of pics from Ogmore-by-Sea and the stepping stones too! 😜
After watching, reading everything to date you have put out, this Chapter 6 had me gob-smacked. I knew of course that you had had lots of painful times but this step by step account has made me really realise the level of torture you were in for a long time. Thank you so much for doing this. It is a true education for people like me who thought they understood the pain one human being with chronic illness can go through and I am sure other sufferers of chronic pain and guinea-pigs of the system will be so thankful that someone exists who can accurately communicate the extreme levels of suffering many people go through. This is the most important piece of real talk I have ever heard and I've herd a fair amount. You are a real legend with a heart of gold and the heart of a Lion
That was a hard one to watch. You have incredible strength and persistence, which allowed you to survive what I'm sure many would/have not. And not just survived, but you came though it with so much empathy and compassion and desire to help others. I hope you know how much you have already done that, and I hope you feel how much we all love you.
Oh Ren!! 😭💔 Your bravery, strength, compassion, and humility never cease to amaze me. So proud of you! Thank you for helping others by sharing your story.
I cried and cried and prayed. Ren please write a book..this is awesome and could probably help someone..You know you got better after you talked to the angel right..Love You so much you are the greatest and most talented person in the world..payed your dues before your fame
Ren, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. You are a true warrior! The courage in sharing your story just to help others is SO inspiring to me. Thank you for bringing light & humanity to psychological warfare. I have a dear freckled human of my own, whos also covered head to toe in freckles ❤️ my dear brother who has also dealt with phycological warfare through his life. Who is the best man, husband, father & brother ive ever known. He lives to help others too. He is truly a rare gem & wonderful freckled human. His most recent episode got lots of public attention in our small town. The whole town reading how he had stripped off his clothes, ran into the neighbors house, then out right away & jumped out of his 2 story window, many had much to say about him being "crazy" "mad" "dangerous" or said he was just on drugs (he doesnt do drugs) during this time he would speak of wanting to just stand in front of an incoming train, or shave his head, move to tibet & climb a mountain. This was about 2 years ago. He is also a warrior! Able to claw himself out of that dark place & find enough light on the other side to want to help others ❤️ I hope this reaches many. I hope this allows many to understand better the depths of phycosis & to see the beautiful human that is struggling with it. Anyone can be someones Angel! Sometimes thats all it takes. Putting your hand on someone's shoulder & GENUINELY reminding them "everything will be ok..." ❤️🩹 🫂 🫂 For Rens mama 🫂🫂 If you see this Ren.... Im curious.... Was there a specific tune your mom would hum for you often?? Or just different tunes??? My sons tune i sang him everyday was MrGolden Sun ☀️ "Oh Mr sun, sun Mr Golden sun. please shine down on meeeeeeeee..." 🎶
You are a beautiful soul Ren ❤❤. Know you're putting this out to help others but I hope it's also a cathartic process for you as well, you have more than earned it.
What an incredible story about trial and error, and finding the resilience to withstand more trials after hitting error after error after error. The fact that you alone, without help from doctors, discovered the impact of antibiotics on your condition is nothing short of brilliant. I look forward to the next chapter.
This is so horrifying. Always if you think it cant be worse... 😭 Fingers crossed that troubles kick the radio charts in their ass. Ps. Youre Mum is a great Person ❤ no wonder that she got such a great son 😅
Thank you. I was released from the hospital today. Though I am almost 2 x your age, I relate to all of your music and I understand your pain. This time was paleonephritis. February were 2 other reasons, both of which bought me hospital admittance. I have more wrong then right anymore. I am sorry that you went thru all you did at such a young age. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason. I think you went thru all of it so many other could live. Your musical talent is more than once in a generation and your compassion, has save lives. I know, because I believe I am one of them. SING LOUDLY...SING PROUDLY ❣️❣️
Oh Ren, what an unbelievable and heartbreaking journey. And still, there is love everywhere, within you and around you. You are shining very bright and you and your music is giving hope and comfort to so many, including me. So yes, it helps. Thank you so much for sharing your story with the whole world. I sincerely hope that it will be loud enough to break down necessary walls and that you will find peace and happiness. Much love.
This is, without doubt, the most deeply moving part of your autobiography of illness and music so far. I had to keep stopping this to pull myself together enough to finish this chapter. I recognised the despair and the health gaslighting you can be subject to when you are desperate enough.
Thank you for choosing to live, Ren. The empathy that’s evolving from your efforts here is going to make such an impact somehow, someway. You are truly the realest. Bless you and everyone you love that surrounds you. I’m simply in awe.
I wish you hadn't had to know the darkness so intimately, and that it didn't steal so many years from you. But I am eternally grateful at the light you shine on those of us yet to find out way out of it. #millionsmissing
Oh my God ! That was incredible My heart breaks to feel you go through that and your mum too So brave and honest you are a true warrior Sending a million hugs to you and your mum You tell your story so perfectly and the music No words just sending thanks and love x
You are my Hero Ren. I am so glad I came across your Hi Ren on youtube. It had changed my views in life and made me see how You and The Renegades on line are the beginning of people wanting change in life, music etc. Your music is a big inspiration to my life and testimony and I am Sharing your journey to the world and to show them that they are not alone. We are not alone...and it's all because of you!!!!! Thank you Ren and Joe R.I.P.
Again, an awesome little song at the end. 🥰 I'm a mum of two and Grandma to two beautiful children (my grandson is autistic and my granddaughter has quite severe ADHD). I applaud your mum for being strong for you and giving you the love and support you needed and deserved. Your story about the black man you met; whether it really happened or you imagined it, I believe it was meant to reassure you and I believe you have more than a few angels looking after you. I for one am so glad you're still here. Shout out to Sam Tompkins too; I found you both thanks to your Brighton busking videos and thank you both for your talent and super voices. 🤗💖
Ren this has been the hardest one yet🫂thank you for having the courage to be the voice of so many and giving the gift of your music! You are an incredible person the way you approach life and I will always admire you❤
When i saw that video begging for help I cried so much that I begged for help for you with every cell of my being. And now and always, every thought of mine may be a melody of healing. We love you Ren
Dear CZcamsrs, use this as your example. No um, er long drawn-out sentences in his presentation. No padding delays, no begging to stay to the end of the video, no begging to subscribe. Succinct, captivating, high quality content. That's what you need.
Before I knew the mindblowing details of the horrors you went through, I've thought about the absolute nightmare helplessly seeing you suffer must have been for your Mum. I'm the mother of sons myself (and old enough to be your mum) and I can barely wrap my head around it. You come from strong-hearted people, Ren. Massive love to both you and your absolute rock of a mother.
So glad you decided to go with hope, life and kept that focus. I appreciate your open heart. Very difficult to hear and see your pain as brutal as it was to watch you Ren I truly believe you are making a huge difference to the people who fall through the cracks. I'm proud of you. Daft to say as I don't know you. Yet, I am.
The lord moves in mysterious ways! he has some special in store for you you are unique and very appreciated! this was very very deep in deed bless your heart!
No words. For all the suffering you went through and for the bravery to tell your story with all the uglyness. I hope this helps you to cope with all fod these horrors 💐
I welcome change with you ❤️ I’m honestly running out of words to describe how these chapters have moved me. I’m so glad you’re here to tell this important story. Lives are being changed by it and by the music it’s inspired.
my heart just breaks for you. I am so grateful you are still with us Ren. Sending heartfelt love and peace to you and wishes for you to heal and find so much joy and happiness in your life. 💛💚♥️ and thank you, again, for sharing your story with us.
Thank you for sharing your journey so candidly Ren. Your Mom sounds like an absolute gem. 💎 Your ever expanding fans are so thankful for your music, message and advocacy. Pocket Full of Pain is an incredibly beautiful and powerful song. 💔❤️🩹❤️
I cannot imagine what you have been through. Your story is blowing my mind. But what I can say is you have my support as a fan and the dollar in my hand as you pass on your amazing Talent to myself and the world. I’m so glad you’re on the mend now. And I’m ready for the Future of REN. May God Bless you and may your Talent shine to the world for as long as this crazy rock decides to SPIN! Love ya REN
I have my fingers crossed! I cry and I pray... so that you never have to go through all this again!!! all hopes that you get through it, really! 💜 Tu es si courageux 🤗
You are an angel, just like the homeless man you met on the street. Thank you for giving us the courage to keep going. And flowers to your mum as well. I can't imagine the pain of watching your child go through all you did. Sending you and your family all the love 💜💜
I never really talk about any of this stuff so it's been pretty daunting putting it out there but hoping it helps... there is 2 more chapters to go and then my new song Troubles comes out. it's the most ive opened up in a song about what ive been through with my health. I'm hoping we can all come together to generate more awareness and support for people who are struggling. it's available to pre-order and it massively helps if you're able to purchase the track on iTunes or bandcamp. love x renmakesmusic.lnk.to/Troubles
This was the hardest one yet 🫂Ren words can't express how much I appreciate you and I see how hard you try. Thank you!
Was so brave and really hard to listen too,what you are doing trying to raise awareness is amazing…well done Ren and thank you for everything ❤
I am so honored and awed that I can hear this terrible tale, knowing that while you're not really and truly well yet, you are still here, and ar better, are inspired and sharing music and yourself with the world. No shame, no resistance to sharing your Truth, just Ren, a Microphone, and a painful but hopefully cathartic release of what once was and is now behind you.
You're beautiful, thank you so much.
Just thank you for everything you've given us.
Felt so for you, your Mum, brave and protective, loving and never giving up… you rock young Sir ❤❤
I would like to take this moment to give Ren's mother her flowers. To see her baby boy suffer so much must of been heartbreaking. How she supported, comforted and encouraged Ren through those difficult years is a true testament of a mother love.
So, if I may be so bold, on behalf of all RENagades.....With all our heatrs....THANK YOU!
Ditto. I couldn't help but to see myself rubbing my son's feet humming him the tune I sand him as a baby as he is in such pain. Hugs and Love to Rens Mama and Ren too 🫂 🌺❤️
Oh yes, the agony she must have felt to watch her son go through such agonies. I am sure she suffered. What a brave and loving mother to stand with him through it all. She definitely is a champion.
And for Michael
Hear, hear - absolutely.
Absolutely. 💯 🙏🏻🕊🕯
I'm so glad you had your mom still. Thanks to Rens Mom.
Love your Mum!!!
Once again: The mere fact that you are here with us right now, telling us your story is a miracle.
You are a miracle.
I hope the right people see it.
Sufferers but also doctors, specialists of all kinds who maybe could make a difference.
All I know is that you will not stop advocating until your dying breath.
And I will be right there with you.
❤
For you to be standing here today as a counterexample to all the ways the medical system might have tried to treat you is such a big deal. Appreciate you digging into these painful memories.
So brave and important!
I'm really holding your mum in such loving energy. She was your first line of defense against the horrors of that time and all times. What a treasure she is. Loved watching that phone call to her when you got #1. Thought my heart would burst.
I broke down and wept when I saw Ren telling his mother on the phone that his album was #1. I am so happy he shared that moment with her. I wept again today as Ren spoke of all she did in his darkest times. She deserves so much of our love. I know I will be eternally grateful for her loving care of her dear son. 💜
This! 💯 💔❤️🩹❤️
❤
A million arms around you 🫂
You are loved 🤍
Love this..❤
❤❤❤
As a mom, this broke my heart. It is so instinctual to go back to humming the songs you once comforted your baby with when you are at a loss of how else to help them. 💔 I am so happy for you and your whole family that you are not still stuck in the hopelessness.
You are some kind of warrior. A gentle warrior. With a mother who gave you life and helped save it.
Your mother is also an angel...just like you. Bless her dear heart and yours too.
Definitely the hardest Chapter to watch but I got emotional till I saw you singing “Pocket Full of Pain”. Your musical talent was always there & kept you alive. I wiped away my tears watching you sing. Thank you to your Mum, who was an Angel by your side…always. Peace.
How could anyone not love this kid and his perseverance? The music he's released along his journey is a gift to so many. His music was the chisel he used to shape his pain and create musical masterpieces. A true tortured artist. Love this kid! He's earned everything he's achieving now... and much more.
Saw professeur perronne, the french specialist in Lyme disease, saying he believes a third of psychiatric hospital could be helped by treating the patient for Lyme disease
As a mom, I can’t imagine the pain in your momma’s heart. 💔🙏🏼
I feel like I should have words, but I don't. Just a profound gratitude and genuine awe at your vulnerability and strength. You're helping millions. Big, big love. 💜
There is no way I could ever know how you were truly feeling at that time Ren. I can only say I am so glad you got yourself through the hell to be able to give us all an audible triage of your life.
Holy shit, I can't wait to hear about the doctor whom finally gave you the proper diagnosis. Unbelievable, Ren. Bless ya brother.
Your story continues
Your journey goes on
You’re telling your story
Through words and with song
A snapshot of existence
So we can all sing along
Having gone through what you went through
You chose to hold on
Your determinations inspiring
That hunger, that drive
Without a doubt, the reason
Why you’re still alive
Your life has a purpose
Your words carry weight
You’re opening dialogue
With what you create
Continue to sing out
Remember to dance
You’re coming in clearly
To all of your fans
Keep lifting up ships
Stay surrounded by friends
And like that homeless man once told you
“It’ll be all right, Ren”
Beautiful Jason and heartfelt. 🤗
Beautiful Jason x
👏 Just Lovely Jason
That was gorgeous Jason, thank you for sharing that with us.
Gosh - even us Renagades are talented! 😊👏✌
Oh my Gosh, that brought tears to my eyes. Not because it wasn't positive but just how beautiful your chosen words were. Thank you for sharing that ❤️
Oh boy, when I first listened to those two young street buskers a few years ago and was blown away by it and had to play it to my son (a little older than you REN). I wondered why they weren’t famous. Then reconnecting when watching Justin Hawkins interview with same young lad! I was stoked! Now, proudly following your journey, laughing, crying, singing, dancing. You young man are special, thank you for sharing your unbelievable journey, much love to your Mum and partner. I so look forward to your new music endeavors and hope your health keeps improving. Proud to be a Renegade. ❤
Yep. “Laughing, crying, singing and dancing” as well. ❤
This was a tough one... the hardest so far. I am so glad you had your mom. You are so strong Ren.
Ren you are an incredible writer. I have had illness for 30 years now and I would not have a clue where to start or how to vocalise it. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Love you xxx
❤️
like others have said, i'm so glad your mom was there. i was tearing up whenever you spoke about her. having someone like your mom is so important when you're sick. imo, she's an angel like the others.
also, i'm so glad you got your laptop back that day. it would have been too awful for you to lose it in that moment.
She definitely is an angel
@@RenMakesMusic ❤❤❤ to your mom
Beautiful, Ren responded. 🤗
I KNOW cause your telling my story I HAVE LYME 3 blood transfusions & near death spiritual awakening & been on antibiotics for 2 years WE KNOW HELL & I’M TRUSTING JESUS ✝️🙏☮️❤️
How was it diagnosed for you?
Noone should hurt like this... 😢
💯
I believe in angels and I’m glad you received a message that gave you peace and a renewed sense of hope just when you needed it most. I also believe that Joe has been with you. The Freckled Angels album will always be special. I can just picture Joe singing along to each song at the top of his lungs!
You are an inspiration in SO many ways!! Thank you for sharing your story 🫂 I’m so glad you didn’t give up and continued to try to find a way out. I remember watching your old vlogs and even in the midst of the horrors you were experiencing, you were a ray of light to others and a powerful advocate for much needed change. You indeed have a divine purpose and you are already a catalyst for change. The RENeffect is real 💕
This one really hurt to watch. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to tell this story in its full, ugly truth to thousands of people. Reliving your darkest moments and opening yourself up to us in this way takes tremendous courage.
I am so glad you've gotten better, and glad I discovered your music. I'm not religious, and I'm quite the skeptic when it comes to the occult, but your story really makes me believe anything is possible.
Thank you again for sharing 💛
This was the toughest chapter yet 😢 Thank you for sharing and still being here ❤
You have been to the depths of hell and back, I am so glad you found a path back to life. You are now so many people's unexpected angel leading them back to life.
I've been crying a lot during these videos. For what you've been through. Also for the triggers they've been inevitably setting off for my own pain and darkness. As far as I've come over the years, there are still so many wounds that were barely patched up and left to fester. Your music and these videos have cut open the sutures and begun scraping out the poison and pus and rot - forcing deeper examination (and self-forgiveness) than I've yet undergone.... It's heavy and brutal, but I am grateful. It's vital.
Shoutout to all the parents, specifically the mothers, who stand by their children as they navigate the Dark. I know I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for my own. 🙏🏻
❤
Thank you for choosing Life Ren. ❤️
Dear Ren, I have just read some of the other comments and they have said everything I want to say about you, your mother, the homeless black man, and the painfulness of recounting your experience during that year. In your comment, you express the hope of generating awareness and support for people who are struggling. You have just given such a clear account of what it is like to be in a psychotic state that I cannot imagine that those who listen to it won't feel empathy not only for you but also for others in a similar situation. Not only that, but you also give meaning to what might otherwise seem like random acts of madness. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for that.
The majority of us who listen to your story do not personally know you. But what I, and I think many others, see is your intelligence, courage, fortitude, tenacity, generosity, empathy, your special relationship with music and your capacity to communicate at a deep level through music. I hope that piecing together and telling your story, as painful as it is, helps you as much as it does others.
I wish you an abundance of good things in the rest of your life as it unfolds.
“It’s by no means a work of art.” What are you on about man? Stay humble and all, but that is even literally incorrect. Much love! Pocket Full of Pain is my favorite on that record.
...💯
Hello, Breakspear for Shakespeare! Seriously though Ren. From one human being to another, I am so proud of you, and although saying this doesn’t mean anything to you (because only those who you know irl are the people with whom you want to have be proud of you, count) and I have heard you say on many occasions that you don’t really like it when people compliment you, for the same reason, and because you struggle with that kind of attention. I as a human being, I am trying to respect your personal boundaries but I am also compelled to share that I feel that pride for you, as do all of those who follow you, I’m sure. I’m proud and I’m grateful for your resilience. You are NOT a victim Ren, you are a survivor, and you are able to reach the masses with your music and lyricism, yet you find yourself compelled to go the extra mile for your audience and that is mostly unheard of in our professions. That feeling of compulsion for your fans is no different to my compulsion to say "Ren, I am proud of you, and we cannot possibly know whether you are the disguised messiah that walks among us, and who has found the best possible medium that allows you to reach the most people. And Ren, this could be true, and it could also be true that you are very blissfully unaware of this yourself atm." I had to share my thoughts with you man, much love and respect always 🙏🏼🤍🪽🦋💫🕊️🐝
Can 100% guarantee these videos will save countless lives.
Also, Ren should release all of this as an autobiography when he's done.
That was the hardest chapter to watch yet 😢 thanks Ren…we all love you so much ❤
HEY!!
Well done for getting it out.
I kept the lid on for 35 years, then it sort of fell off.
Keep being you, do what you need to do to get yourself through everything.
You have a million Renegades right behind you, supporting you all the way.
Take care xx
Nothing scarier than hallucinations that seem so real while you're sitting on the side watching yourself watching the scenario unfold - thank you for sharing as I have never met anyone else who knows what it's like.
It was hard to listen to you and this part of your story. I felt your pain. How hard it must have been to write all these chapters... to summarize... to delve into the darkest depths again. But my gut feeling also tells me that this is a big piece of therapy for you, which is hard and exhausting, but so incredibly important to integrate everything you had to go through. From the bottom of my heart I hope that it gets easier and easier for you and that your physical and emotional pain subsides more and more. Thank you for everything you do for this world. Thanks for being you, Ren ❤
Thousands of arms are wrapped around you. Well that sounds horrible 😂. We love you
No it doesn't... that sounds beautiful because we are all in the same mindset right now. 🤗
@@kellyt5341 I just want to create a force field around him. Each chapter breaks my heart in new ways. I hesitate to tell how many ways that I relate to everything he writes because I know that he’s highly empathetic. But the bottom line is that he has made so so many of us feel seen, heard and UNDERSTOOD- more than those closest to us who literally see us struggling and hear how much pain we’re in and how hopeless it all feels. I adore Ren.
I want to send a little love to Ren's mom. As a mother myself, I can't imagine watching one of my children going through this pain and anguish with no way to help them. I feel for Ren so much, but I feel for his mother too.
Okay, this one killed me! I didn't just have tears falling on my cheeks, I was full-fledged sobbing. Crutch is one of my favorite songs in the Ren catalog. It touches me in all ways.
I sobbed watching this Chapter. I've just had knee surgery this morning and I don't feel well and hearing Ren very emotionally talking really hit me hard. I really thank The Lord above for keeping you here for us @Renmakes music, You are so loved. Your Mom sounds like a wonderful Mum.
Best wishes on your recovery.
All you need is a good set of headphones and Ren will help you in your recovery! Best wishes to you!
Ren, you are courageous and generous. Your Mom is amazing and so strong. Big up to your Mom.
The simple fact that your work gives me so much pleasure, so much reflection, calm, questions and moments of introspection, forces me to (at the very least) have to tell you this:
- Admiration (I already had it since I discovered your work).
- Respect (even greater after today)
- Empathy (if you need a sincere hug, without unnecessary words or subsequent conversation, count on me).
Thank you Ren.
I'm not crying, I'm just car washing my eyeballs
😂..... 😭
can i js quickly second that - i came to the 'deep clean' wash
Freckled Angels the song means a huge amount to me. It says ever single word i needed to express my pain for the sudden death of my partner. I have sung that song out loud on repeat with tears streaming down my face. Thank you ❤
Just want to hug you and your mum as a mum who has lived with and loved a child suffering with psychosis this is heartbreaking
This was a tough one ...hurts to watch ❤
Thank you for sharing the stories of your life with us. I'm so glad you had your mum beside you to help you through this ❤
This was the section I was dreading. I somehow held it together during the previous chapters, but lost it this time. No one should have to feel that kind of pain. But I can't wait to hear more about the turning point, things are finally about to get better! ❤❤
🌟🙌💖🙏💖🙌🌟
(You continue to render this poet gratefully speechless;)
This one was hard to watch. Thanks for sharing your story. ❤
Jeez Ren, speechless watching these. Just when you think you have an appreciation for all that you've been through, the detail brings it home and demonstrates the true phenomenon of your grit, determination, resolve, whatever you want to call it. Unreal mate. And your Mum deserves huge credit for looking after her boy as well as she did. Nice to see a couple of pics from Ogmore-by-Sea and the stepping stones too! 😜
After watching, reading everything to date you have put out, this Chapter 6 had me gob-smacked. I knew of course that you had had lots of painful times but this step by step account has made me really realise the level of torture you were in for a long time. Thank you so much for doing this. It is a true education for people like me who thought they understood the pain one human being with chronic illness can go through and I am sure other sufferers of chronic pain and guinea-pigs of the system will be so thankful that someone exists who can accurately communicate the extreme levels of suffering many people go through. This is the most important piece of real talk I have ever heard and I've herd a fair amount. You are a real legend with a heart of gold and the heart of a Lion
That was a hard one to watch. You have incredible strength and persistence, which allowed you to survive what I'm sure many would/have not. And not just survived, but you came though it with so much empathy and compassion and desire to help others. I hope you know how much you have already done that, and I hope you feel how much we all love you.
Freckled Angels has been my favourite album so far personally. I just play the songs I’m in the mood for on a given day.
I've been telling drs I'm completely exhausted even when I wake up for at least 10 yrs, they say oh you're just getting older....right🖕
Oh Ren!! 😭💔 Your bravery, strength, compassion, and humility never cease to amaze me. So proud of you! Thank you for helping others by sharing your story.
Jesus christ this chapter really drives home the opening verse to Seven Sins. I just wanna give this dude a hug and an allergy-safe cookie.
I cried and cried and prayed.
Ren please write a book..this is awesome and could probably help someone..You know you got better after you talked to the angel right..Love You so much you are the greatest and most talented person in the world..payed your dues before your fame
Ren, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. You are a true warrior! The courage in sharing your story just to help others is SO inspiring to me.
Thank you for bringing light & humanity to psychological warfare. I have a dear freckled human of my own, whos also covered head to toe in freckles ❤️ my dear brother who has also dealt with phycological warfare through his life. Who is the best man, husband, father & brother ive ever known. He lives to help others too. He is truly a rare gem & wonderful freckled human. His most recent episode got lots of public attention in our small town. The whole town reading how he had stripped off his clothes, ran into the neighbors house, then out right away & jumped out of his 2 story window, many had much to say about him being "crazy" "mad" "dangerous" or said he was just on drugs (he doesnt do drugs) during this time he would speak of wanting to just stand in front of an incoming train, or shave his head, move to tibet & climb a mountain. This was about 2 years ago. He is also a warrior! Able to claw himself out of that dark place & find enough light on the other side to want to help others ❤️
I hope this reaches many. I hope this allows many to understand better the depths of phycosis & to see the beautiful human that is struggling with it. Anyone can be someones Angel! Sometimes thats all it takes. Putting your hand on someone's shoulder & GENUINELY reminding them "everything will be ok..." ❤️🩹
🫂 🫂 For Rens mama 🫂🫂
If you see this Ren.... Im curious.... Was there a specific tune your mom would hum for you often?? Or just different tunes??? My sons tune i sang him everyday was MrGolden Sun ☀️ "Oh Mr sun, sun Mr Golden sun. please shine down on meeeeeeeee..." 🎶
Love, as i said....i'm so glad to your mum! Really......❤❤!
You know ....there are a lot of mum here...... .....we fight eveyday.... a big big hug
You are a beautiful soul Ren ❤❤. Know you're putting this out to help others but I hope it's also a cathartic process for you as well, you have more than earned it.
What an incredible story about trial and error, and finding the resilience to withstand more trials after hitting error after error after error. The fact that you alone, without help from doctors, discovered the impact of antibiotics on your condition is nothing short of brilliant. I look forward to the next chapter.
This is so horrifying. Always if you think it cant be worse... 😭 Fingers crossed that troubles kick the radio charts in their ass.
Ps. Youre Mum is a great Person ❤ no wonder that she got such a great son 😅
You sir, are going to change the world!
This was absolutely heart breaking this chapter.
Keep up the amazing work.
❤❤
Thank you. I was released from the hospital today. Though I am almost 2 x your age, I relate to all of your music and I understand your pain. This time was paleonephritis. February were 2 other reasons, both of which bought me hospital admittance. I have more wrong then right anymore. I am sorry that you went thru all you did at such a young age. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason. I think you went thru all of it so many other could live. Your musical talent is more than once in a generation and your compassion, has save lives. I know, because I believe I am one of them. SING LOUDLY...SING PROUDLY ❣️❣️
Thank you, you really are making a difference in helping us all through the dark.
Oh Ren, what an unbelievable and heartbreaking journey. And still, there is love everywhere, within you and around you. You are shining very bright and you and your music is giving hope and comfort to so many, including me. So yes, it helps. Thank you so much for sharing your story with the whole world. I sincerely hope that it will be loud enough to break down necessary walls and that you will find peace and happiness. Much love.
This is, without doubt, the most deeply moving part of your autobiography of illness and music so far. I had to keep stopping this to pull myself together enough to finish this chapter.
I recognised the despair and the health gaslighting you can be subject to when you are desperate enough.
❤ to your mum. Must of been hell for her too
Thank you for choosing to live, Ren. The empathy that’s evolving from your efforts here is going to make such an impact somehow, someway. You are truly the realest. Bless you and everyone you love that surrounds you. I’m simply in awe.
Ren you are a really brave and strong human being 💜 Thank you
I wish you hadn't had to know the darkness so intimately, and that it didn't steal so many years from you. But I am eternally grateful at the light you shine on those of us yet to find out way out of it. #millionsmissing
Speechless 🖤 endless love for you, wishing you all the best Ren
Oh my God ! That was incredible My heart breaks to feel you go through that and your mum too So brave and honest you are a true warrior Sending a million hugs to you and your mum You tell your story so perfectly and the music No words just sending thanks and love x
Just like that angel came to you and gave you hope just in time, you have been an angel to thousands. I said it, and I mean it. You changed my life.
You are my Hero Ren. I am so glad I came across your Hi Ren on youtube. It had changed my views in life and made me see how You and The Renegades on line are the beginning of people wanting change in life, music etc. Your music is a big inspiration to my life and testimony and I am Sharing your journey to the world and to show them that they are not alone. We are not alone...and it's all because of you!!!!! Thank you Ren and Joe R.I.P.
That day i met an angel online. Thanks for everything kind soul.
Again, an awesome little song at the end. 🥰 I'm a mum of two and Grandma to two beautiful children (my grandson is autistic and my granddaughter has quite severe ADHD). I applaud your mum for being strong for you and giving you the love and support you needed and deserved. Your story about the black man you met; whether it really happened or you imagined it, I believe it was meant to reassure you and I believe you have more than a few angels looking after you. I for one am so glad you're still here. Shout out to Sam Tompkins too; I found you both thanks to your Brighton busking videos and thank you both for your talent and super voices. 🤗💖
Ren this has been the hardest one yet🫂thank you for having the courage to be the voice of so many and giving the gift of your music! You are an incredible person the way you approach life and I will always admire you❤
🌺🫂❤️🩹🎶🧚♀️
You Ren Gill are the definition of a 💎 diamond.
This was tough to watch. Thank you for sharing your story. Take good care of yourself! ❤❤❤
When i saw that video begging for help I cried so much that I begged for help for you with every cell of my being. And now and always, every thought of mine may be a melody of healing. We love you Ren
You're a very brave man Ren, you have my immense respect.
Dear CZcamsrs, use this as your example. No um, er long drawn-out sentences in his presentation. No padding delays, no begging to stay to the end of the video, no begging to subscribe. Succinct, captivating, high quality content. That's what you need.
Before I knew the mindblowing details of the horrors you went through, I've thought about the absolute nightmare helplessly seeing you suffer must have been for your Mum. I'm the mother of sons myself (and old enough to be your mum) and I can barely wrap my head around it. You come from strong-hearted people, Ren. Massive love to both you and your absolute rock of a mother.
So glad you decided to go with hope, life and kept that focus. I appreciate your open heart. Very difficult to hear and see your pain as brutal as it was to watch you Ren I truly believe you are making a huge difference to the people who fall through the cracks. I'm proud of you. Daft to say as I don't know you. Yet, I am.
🫶🏻
The lord moves in mysterious ways!
he has some special in store for you you are unique and very appreciated!
this was very very deep in deed bless your heart!
I agree...😇
@@kellyt5341 he's something else ain't he!
Ren
Legitimacy and reality you are a king you stand here before us today ..much love to you always
Ember ❣️
❤❤❤ for your Mom! ♥♥♥
No words. For all the suffering you went through and for the bravery to tell your story with all the uglyness. I hope this helps you to cope with all fod these horrors 💐
I welcome change with you ❤️ I’m honestly running out of words to describe how these chapters have moved me. I’m so glad you’re here to tell this important story. Lives are being changed by it and by the music it’s inspired.
It's so crazy...I'm hearing Rens voice but it's coming out of this sweet little kid. Nuts!
As a parent, I really feel for your mum. I can only imagine how distressing it world be to see my kids in so much pain.
my heart just breaks for you. I am so grateful you are still with us Ren. Sending heartfelt love and peace to you and wishes for you to heal and find so much joy and happiness in your life. 💛💚♥️ and thank you, again, for sharing your story with us.
Thank you for sharing your journey so candidly Ren. Your Mom sounds like an absolute gem. 💎 Your ever expanding fans are so thankful for your music, message and advocacy. Pocket Full of Pain is an incredibly beautiful and powerful song. 💔❤️🩹❤️
I cannot imagine what you have been through. Your story is blowing my mind. But what I can say is you have my support as a fan and the dollar in my hand as you pass on your amazing Talent to myself and the world. I’m so glad you’re on the mend now. And I’m ready for the Future of REN. May God Bless you and may your Talent shine to the world for as long as this crazy rock decides to SPIN! Love ya REN
I have my fingers crossed! I cry and I pray... so that you never have to go through all this again!!!
all hopes that you get through it, really! 💜 Tu es si courageux 🤗
Thank you, mom, for bringing him to this world, and for being on his side, while going through that hell.
You are an angel, just like the homeless man you met on the street. Thank you for giving us the courage to keep going. And flowers to your mum as well. I can't imagine the pain of watching your child go through all you did. Sending you and your family all the love 💜💜