Why Self-Help Books are Overrated
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- čas přidán 27. 01. 2023
- Self-help books help, but probably not as much as you think.
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“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” - Marcus Aurelius
I forget who said this but I remember hearing a piece of advice once about self help books: don't read another self help book until you've integrated the advice of the last one you read into your own life. This way it forces you to actually start doing and not just reading. I wager if more people treated self help books like this then they would seldom need more than their first one.
I'm 32 and spent the last 8 years trying to improve myself by learning, and I couldn't agree more with this video. I got to a point a few years ago when I realized I had plenty of knowledge but I wasn't practicing, I stopped reading immediately and focused on putting it to practice, that definitely was an inflection point. Just embrace the difficulty guys, embrace the boredom, accept all the thoughts and emotions as they are, don't try to be perfect, just fuckin do it little by little. I'm glad to see on youtube this fresh, non-shitty, personal development content, great work Mark🙌.
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"Learning as a replacement for doing." Uh-oh, I think I'm guilty of that! Thank you for a thought-provoking video, and I look forward to seeing what you have in store for us this year.
You forget to mention that the whole idea of self-help books is to prey upon peoples insecurities when it's the very fact that they don't feel good about themselves which is causing their suffering. Self-help books rarely actually help people because it is framed upon the fact that they need fixing.
This is exactly why when my new therapist asked me what I was looking for from our sessions, I told her "homework". After trying 3 therapists before her, I knew that simply discussing and rehashing my concerns was just me spinning my wheels. I wanted direction and action. And she has done such a wonderful job of providing that. Every week after our sessions she texts me videos to watch or articles to read and I've made the effort to act on that information. I mentioned how I love to write but never do it anymore, so she recommended a blog which I then created and have been writing in every day. I've signed up for classes I never would have found on my own, and my mood has completely changed. Because I'm acting on the things we discuss, not just letting them drift away after my session ends. I'm also less afraid to quit doing something if I don't feel it's working for me so I can move on to another activity that I may enjoy more. The point is, I'm doing more and talking less. Except for maybe this post. ;)
I think it's also important to note the role of community here. The books help us feel as if we are not alone. It's hard to keep going to the gym if you are by yourself and only living for yourself. But when you are connected to people at the gym, it's easier. Or more generally, when you are connected to people on a search for what it means to love one another and give goodness in the world, then suddenly the books are not the lifeline anymore -- the experience shared within community is the lifeline, and it is a far stronger, far more motivating lifeline.
Learning can feel like progress,even when it's not progress. This hit me in the balls mark ‼️
I had absolutely zero respect for whoever wrote this book and i didn’t even know your name because I hated how self help books got so much hype but they had nothing new. But after seeing this video and watching you admit everything you’re doing and still justify it, I got all the respect. 👏🏼
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Does anyone else think it's weird that Whispers of Manifestation on Borlest isn't being talked about more?
When your book came out, all the people from my school were buying it and posing for photos with it. I was too poor to buy it back then but I wanted to read it anyway. I think that was the first time when I heard about self help, and I wanted to help myself. A few months later, I found out that not many people in my school actually read the book but were still posing with it. So I gathered all my courage and asked someone to lend it to me, so that I could read it.
the concept that learning is not always progress is powerful
Learning is meaningful only when what you've learned is applied (you call it "doing"). Otherwise, it's just a substitution for "applying". Not the self-help books suck, but the readers who do nothing after the last page. This opinion is based on my own experience - I am who suck, not the book ! Thanks, Mark !
this guy always stands for what he says. "be honest." you're a gem mark.
Honestly, sometimes, self help books just give me anxiety, pressuring me to change instead of validating my feelings. Sometimes people just need time to apply this change in their lives.
Thank you for this great video Mark
My dad read your book and gave it to me , as a 14 year old I was getting all the information from your book for the first time and I think that’s the reason your book changed my mindset in life, thanks for making a good book by the way.
I agree so much with this. Anyone can sit down and talk about what you should do, but less people actually do it