Thank you SO much for all the love and support! I truly feel honored to receive all the kind and considerate comments. I wish I had time to respond to them all but I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it. 💙
I love all of it. I always want to hear the whole story. By the way..anyone who has watched 5 minutes of any of your videos would already have guessed that you were a gifted student. We are what we are and not talking about it does not take away the truth. You are so humble and sweet and if anyone thinks you are bragging well they are listening from their own dark place. Thank you . I love your channel.
I 100% relate to feeling super isolated as a kid and also went through testing in 4th grade that revealed I would have been better matched intellectually by being moved up to 6th grade. My parents didn't move me up either, and I still wonder whether or not that was the right choice for me. I love that you shared this, as I am in my "armchair phase" right now and enjoy hearing how people came to be how they are now.
I skipped the grade, 6th. Did the same, tested that I could do 8th grade work in the middle of 5th grade. I don't recommend it, the kids who I left behind in the class I was in all hated me, so did the ones who were previously a year ahead of me. I graduated at 16. Everyone was driving in 10th grade, I was only 14. I never felt like I belonged anywhere lol.
I have to admit that when you said you were going to tell us your whole origin story, *that* voice in the back of my head said, "I'll bet she was bitten by a radioactive familiar and that turned her into a witch. " LOL Thank you for sharing such a personal subject... and now I feel better about some of my own journey. :-)
Seems like, for many of us, we started out as lonely kids who didn't fit in with their peers for whatever reason. I wasn't considered a gifted child. I have learning disabilities, couldn't pass a spelling test nor work with numbers to save my life. But i loved history and reading. I grew up in a small town with my father being a school teacher in the next town over and also a judge for our small town. Kind of like being the preachers kid, and by the way, he also taught church school to the older kids getting ready for their confirmation in the catholic church. I was bullyed pretty heavily in school. As a child of the 70sand 80s , there wasn't internet, there wasn't many books on the subject, no one in my little conservitive town thought as I did. but my mom had books on the craft, wiccan and books of history, and a monthly magazine. and I remember being fascinated by them. mom had signed a contract that she wouldn't interfere with my religious education, so although she was witchy, she would not teach me anything about it. She was ostrasised in our town, people thought her a witch as well, not because she was outwardly doing anything magical, just because she was different. she was from Texas and we lived in new York. the cultural differences made her an outcast. and me as well since I learned my ways from her. so I read everything I could on witchcraft which wasn't alot. any time I could go to a book story. I would buy books the libraries didn't have. and I also studied Buddhism, tebetan. and have a friend who was my teacher in a lot of ways. I still have my altar and books which I refer to a lot. for me, the hardest part of the craft or Buddhism is the reliance on visualization. something I can't do. I don't think in pictures, I think in words, a voice in my head that is constantly talking, telling me what I'm thinking and feeling. most magic books, and buddhist books have so much visualization that I just cant comprehend. so I have to find my own way where I don't rely on visualization. Ive rarely found things like a true occult shop, although we have watered down versions of new age shops. I'm allergic to sunlight making nature hard to deal with, which isolates me more. and now in my 50s, ive been disabled for years, not enough to get any help but enough to make employers not want to hire me. Thankfully my husband is a good sort and has taken over everything work reliated. I worked my whole life in health care only to be told im not useful anymore. so I study. I have more time to devote to try to find a spirituality that meets my unique needs. something more akin to my mom whispering prayers and chants I couldn't hear as she worked.
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. I was raised catholic,studying religions and occult in secret in my bedroom.we grew in spite of pure limitations. Hugs
We’re around the same age and I even now aspire to be as cool and badass as you when I grow up 😂 I think it was great you shared about your challenges with schooling and not being challenged enough for you level of intellect and if anyone takes that in any other way than what you’ve explained they haven’t paid attention to the type of person you are at all and more fool them. I know you probably get a lot of uplifting comments but I really want you to know, how much of a difference you do make on here. There’s so much bs and for me personally it really helps to have someone you can trust to just say it how it should be, the effort you give and how much time you give to your channel and platforms is really admirable and we appreciate all you do. So no matter what on those days when you feel frustrated or abit meh just remember there are those of us who have been inspired by you, felt comforted with your advice and energy. You’re a good person and you deserve all the good things. I’m not great with words so I hope this came across well. 💜
Honoring the animal within--that is the perfect way to describe how I felt too! I love how well Buddhist practices help me to master my mind and emotional responses, but I feel like witchcraft helps me to acknowledge, honor, and integrate my lower and middle selves.
I’m going to have to rewatch this video like a million times to make note things I want more info on. Dude! Your thirst for knowledge is so so so juicy to me!! I don’t know of anyone else in my personal life like myself that loves learning and exploring and testing new things out. At the risk of sounding like a creeptastic individual, I so wish we could have a coffee date. I have a million things to ask and discuss! I am waiting on pins and needles for the shamanism journey. And honestly any other sections of your knowledge journey you care to share.
I definitely understand where you're coming from with "not thinking like others". I also don't think I'm special lol, but I was also in the gifted program, grew up in an atheist household and thought a lot about death, spirituality and world religions. So I connect with your story a lot. Thanks for sharing!
I resonate so much. I was a lonely 'gifted child' too, talking a lot with invisible friends, reading all days, in my own world. After years it turned out I am autistic and adhd but I think it's not just that, that it's also spiritual reason for that, I was always more interested in mysteries of existence, things unseen etc. I think that it's very often when we gifted kids turn out not to be completely normal 😅😂 (neurotypical, fit to society norms and so on)
Ah, yes, the classic stereotype where everyone thinks all the gifted kids are smarter than them. It is not pompous or arrogant to admit such a thing. I never got bullied, but hearing others complain about me being smarter than them just because I was in the GT program always stung, especially when our GT teacher always told us that our status didn’t mean we were smarter or better than anyone. Now we come to our adult lives and the gifted kids struggle because we never learned how to study because we never had the need, and when I ask about people’s study techniques, I realize straight away that that won’t work for me. It was nice to hear the timeline of your journey and it now makes more sense on how you got to where you are. I always have to remind myself that nothing is a straight line when trying to find your way through things
“Today I’m a polytheist. Tomorrow I’m a pantheonist.” This part resonated with me so much as a chaos witch. Most of this video did resonate too 😂Thank you so much for sharing.
Still here, friend. :) Thanks for this background. It makes a lot of sense. I particularly relate to you wanting, needing, to get to your animal self, which happened to me too in a big way. And to the spiritual awakening you experienced, which happened in a similar way although from a different direction for me too. And very much with the Mad Scientist archetype. Mine is Nature Explorer.
Oh wow, we had very similar childhoods, not surprising 😂. In my late teens I had an older bf who was a Wiccan ‘priest’, cue audible eye roll, so that’s how I started. But otherwise very similar, thank you!!!
Oh the audible eye roll is real!! 😆 I'm somewhat glad and not glad that we had similar childhoods... I'm glad we can at least relate to each other then 😂
@@IvyTheOccultist lol! It’s not the Wiccan part, it’s the pompous a$$ part! And yes, hopefully someday we can sit down with some tea and discuss-it feels less lonely to find kindred spirits, no matter the situation 💜💚
I can relate with you on the "gifted child" crap. I had a college sophomore level of english literacy and vocabulary by 4th grade because of similar life milestones you listed. The ADHD (formerly ADD) diagnosis probably had an impact on that. I understand your SO being worried about you potentially sounding "pompous" for sharing that bit and is coming from a place of love, but you need solidarity from your community just as much as we need it from you. Silencing that is a disservice to yourself. Thank you for sharing all of this ❤❤❤❤
I could not relate to my peers either. Moreover, no one that I've ever known is really interested in the occult. I've been developing my skills and listening to earth for almost 60 years. Thank you for telling this piece of your history.
Listening to your origin story, I literally broke down in tears because it was the FIRST time I’ve ever heard anyone articulate so closely to my own spiritual journey. I related so much. I am crying because…you go so long without any faith that any of it means anything ya know- but then you come across something by chance, and realize the universe is listening, it knows ME, sees my journey and sees all the searching I’ve done. Finding your video and hearing your story gave me full body chills and validates for me that I am on the right path & that there are others! I’ve gone through so many similar phases and it’s like I needed them all to understand one thing or another, so that one day I put it all together! Especially when you said marrying science with Magick, oh my goodness. I have been a spiritual nomad for so long, searching high and low for a concept of God that resonates, for truth, for an identity, & for a sense of home - not knowing if any of those experiences would ever exist for me. I went through a 10 year walk in the desert, and it’s like I finally see something on the horizon! I woke up one December day and gave myself permission to believe in something so many tell me is “wrong” or “evil”. Witchcraft is ironically the only path that’s given me God, given me truth, an identity and a sense of home. I found your video and I don’t know. I am just so thankful you shared it. You are helping so many people who just need that wink from the universe saying follow that feeling, you’re not alone, yes I hear your questions, don’t be afraid to keep going.
Unfortunately, what we’ve received as Christianity was built to squash true spirituality. If the masses were allowed to develop their own personal connection with the Divine, they wouldn’t be very easy to control, if at all. By the way, I LOVED this video! You helped us get to know you better through your fascinating journey and honored your own need to keep your private life private. Brava! As we said in the military, Bravo-Zulu! And as to age, I have 30 years on you and I’m just now bringing together everything I’ve been interested in most of my life and realizing that all of it comes together as witchcraft. What an amazing realization! Thank you so much for the beautiful woman you are! 💕💖💞🔮🧚🏼
I understand what you mean by having cured your depression. As a child, I was diagnosed with several mental health issues, and I truly felt alone as a child. For me, it took a 10-year-long vision quest of sorts where I was immersed in my Shadow. I began unraveling my fears and eventually came to a point where I felt ready to move on. I definitely don't recommend this for everyone. I ended up in some dangerous situations that I was lucky to get out of alive. Thank you for sharing your story.
@@IvyTheOccultist Oh I was kidding and I know you didn’t mean that. I was basically just saying how incredible you are to learn and practice so much!! I don’t have the patience for all that. But I am on a good path and happy with it. Have a great day!
It's so wonderful to hear your occult origin story. What an amazing journey!! Thank you for opening up and being so vulnerable. 💜 Here's to yet another fabulous 20 years!! xoxo
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I have been thoroughly enjoying your videos for about a month now, and was indeed curious about your background! I love the content you provide, it's educational, entertaining, thought-provoking, and a much-needed addition to the magical information available on CZcams.
Well, we have a lot of similarities between us, sister! I’m in my 60’s now, and am British and had a catholic and a Protestant parent. I can relate to so much of your childhood; the spirit chats, the not belonging, the not being challenged, the boredom, lack of tv (and even electricity in winter), going to lots of different churches and reading lots. I didn’t realise until my 20’s that my great maternal grandma was of Romany blood, but once I knew, things clicked into place. Witchcraft flows in our family, but it was never talked about, it was all actions. My GGM favoured me over my younger sibling, and when she passed over, she would come to me in my teens whilst I slept to help me with my teen angst. It was like being in a room with her chatting. These days I’m a solitary, kitchen/ traditional witch, working with herbs, the forest, and a big crafter. I’ve never had a lot of friends, I have three I’ve known most of my life, so solitary feels natural to me. My spirituality comes through nature, probably due to being born under earth sign, and also earth rising. 🐝
Love this video and I hope a lot of people feel the same because we need storytimes like this. Helps everyone feel just a bit less alone in their experiences.
Totally late to this video but omg, I loved hearing about your journey. I relate to the feelings you had growing up. I was alone and introverted, raised incredibly Christian, and my school wouldn't do anything to move me up even though I was above my class scholastically. You never once sound pompous or too good for anyone. You clearly try to relate to so many people, and you're good at teaching a wide variety of us as well. Thanks for all you do and sharing your story!
It made me sad to hear that you didn't think this video would be interesting for many. Ive watched your videos for awhile now and I can honestly say that this one was one of my favourites, don't underestimate yourself, take care!
Just so you know, I watched this video first, and I'm so glad I did. With knowledge of similarities, it helps your listeners to really get an understanding of who the person is we are listening to and whether or not you're someone we can really relate to. You happen to be someone I can definitely relate with.
Hi! Another former gifted kid here. It is not pompous/arrogant/selfish of you to talk about your struggles with being gifted. If you view intelligence as a spectrum anything on the fringes of it is going to come with problems. People on the lower end feel different and so do we on the higher end. The struggle is real and should not be discounted just because we excel academically. In many other ways people like us were special needs children. It just was never recognized as such. I’m so glad that you mentioned it despite your partner’s advice. It’s really important that people like us tell our stories. Much love, 🤍
I can 100% relate. While you got to Witchcraft practically a lifetime worth of years earlier than me, I completely identify to the experience you had getting there. I too, felt and still feel isolated. I didn't lack children my own age, but I often felt more at ease on my own. I was raised in a religious, although not strict religious, household. I tried for so many of my years to fit into the mold.... never did. I started school a year early, and so was younger than everyone in my class.... and rarely had more than 1(maybe 2) close school friends at any given times, despite being an athlete and being in more "on stage" activities. I somehow just blocked people out. I didn't know until I was 49 that I had experienced trauma at about 3... and had literally repressed the memory. Regained that memory partially atb49 and that began my dive into shadow work, psychology, tarot... witchcraft. I too, do not currently have an interest in wicca... it feels too much like trading one dogma for another. Not for me.... nothing wrong with it, but not for me. I am either 13 or 3 years into my craft, depending on what you count as a beginning. 13 years as an armchair practitioner. 3 years stepping into it consciously once I recovered my trauma memory. Choosing to be solitary, but sometimes crave a community to lean on. Still trying to leave the reigns loose... and undefined because I am science-based, psychology interested, physical, nature-based. Went through my own Eastern philosophy curious period.... but meditation never stuck/ worked for me.... until recently. So now... bouncing along figuring it all out... feeling a connection to folk, paganism, animism, and chaos for the reasons you state. Not sure if I even care to have a label. Astrology, tarot, oracle, crystals, herbology, animals and nature... into all of it. I was even recommended to go to a shaman for my own healing (soul retrieval) and have an interest in shamanism as a study area. I'm glad I watched your video because I now feel less "all over the place" and more incorporated, if you will. I just have a broad number of interests. This is the most scattered comment, EVER!!! 😂
Thank you for sharing, it's appreciated.🙏💚 And no, you don't sound arrogant! You're honest about your experiences and that's what I love and appreciate the most about your videos! 👍
I love this so much! I'm quite a bit older, but I've dabbled in many things and am really just now, at the ripe old age of 55, coming to "the dark side". 😂 I've done stints in several branches of xtianity, atheism Buddhism, and I'm still super interested in Human Design, and my personal motto has always been to just try something to find out if it resonates. (I'm an enneagram 7 and a 3/5 Emotional Generator in HD, which totally explains this) so chaos magic seems right up my alley! Thanks for this!
I relate to 99% percent of this so much. Wow. Extremely similar spiritual paths you and I share. The more videos of yours I watch which have only been 4 or 5 now, I learn just how similar. Very nice to learn some more about you and your path. 😊✨
I LOVE that you're sharing your origin story. I also find it strangely comforting that there's someone else as a child who was intrigued by magic, death, etc. For me I remember since about age 9, 10 I would scavenge around my school's library as well as the local public library because I was obsessed with death , death rituals and practices like what the Egyptians did, why they mummified the way they did. I was obsessed with psychology, and magic. My mom's side is super Christian/Catholic while my dad's side is super atheist, *maybe* a little Buddhist. A lot of what you talked about is so relatable... Except maybe the gifted part. In grade 4 I was apparently gifted but not so much in math or things like that. I've always been more artsy, creative. I hope I can meet people like you in real life. What I love about your videos is that you really do seem like someone I'd feel comfortable with talking to irl. Thank you for the content you create! 💛
Hi Ivy, thanks so much for this video, I know you don’t think it’ll get many views but for your subscribers who watch your videos for you, not just the content, we love hearing about the personal stuff. It’s relatable and I guarantee a lot of people who look up to you and feel like the weird, lonely kid too will be inspired by your story and might seek a more magical life because of it ✨
I come from a predominantly Christian household. I went through my atheist phase after a youth pastor told me i was possessed for being bi-polar. I ended up having nightmares for days, and I was angry about the experience and rejected Christianity. I devoted much of my time after that to Marxism and political activism. After 10 years of activism. I got burned out and was looking for a new spiritual truth. I introduced paganism through my wife. I took a year and a day from a Trad/Dianic Witch and then migrated from there to Druidry. After that, I got into Zen Buddhism and Taoism, even Dudeism. I watched a video about Thelema and I became drawn to ceremonial magick and the work of Aleister Crowley, and I've been a professed Thelemite for passed two and half years.
@IvyTheOccultist oh most definitely, and I while I'm currently a Thelemite, my spiritual path is not static and may certainly change over time. I am content to see where the winds carry me.
I admire your courage in opening up about your growth being the troll monkeys are ever present. I believe most of us have been needing to hear this from other practitioners? Knowing that in fact we are basically the same in our upbringing & beliefs although we have gotten to this place by different paths & isn’t that exactly the point? I thank you for your candor & fuck the trolls! 🔮
Thank you for sharing the bit about isolation from your peers due to feeling intellectually different. This why I love the pagan/ witchy space so much, I have never met someone outside of this community that has shared in this situation. That was so validating (and relieving, I was starting to think I had NPD for a sec).
Thank you for sharing it Wad really interesting ! Different story here but same archetypes, it is genuinely very nice and comforting not feeling alone, even today I feel like I don’t belong in my very own loved crowd but when I hear witches speaking about their Life and their experiences I feel home for once so thank you very much for opening up. ❤
I think it is so great that you shared this with us. Thank you for being open and honest. I appreciate the fact that you want some of your life to remain private! Never share anything you are uncomfortable with.
I came here through your video about chaos magick. It was so well explained and your videos are very comprehensive and easy to listen to. So interesting to hear your personal story
Thank you for sharing this, Ivy. It is very interesting to me as someone with lifelong depression probably stemming from neglect, isolation and abuse from an early age to know that magic can help with that. Very encouraging.
Although my journey is not the same, indeed many twists and turns from childhood to current occured.I was adopted into a Lakota tribe and given a name by the Pipekeeper. However, due to further twists I fell out of contact. Being perhaps the youngest of the group, many members have left their earthly bodies. I thirst for exploring shamanism more and simply overwhelmed on so many levels. I know content you provide will help greatly in honing my learning. Looking forward to further light and knowledge!
I completely relate to not having anything in common with your peers. I was bullied relentlessly for not watching the Disney Channel. 🤦♀️ You do not come off as pompous; you are who you are and you should be proud of it!
As a fellow "gifted" child, i understand the struggle of not having anyone to talk to. I'm currently in my 'armchair magician' stage doing a lot of research and just focusing on self-improvement and trying get past my inherent skepticism.
Would love to hear more of your spirit work as a child. Your experiences and how you found guidance through those years. ❤ Glad you shared ❤ Makes people feel not alone
Loved this video and it really helped me understand that I’m not the only one who had a very isolated, lonely childhood 💜 Sending you love and light from England 🏴
Thank you so much for this video. Depression is like a hydra to defeat. You cut off one head and two more grow back. Your video has encouraged me to search within my own practice for ways to combat my own issues. It's empowering to look within for answers. Again thank you.
Your origin story is so similar to my own. I'm glad I came across your channel as I've been seeking more like-minded people of late. Like you, I have a background in shamanism, witchcraft and ceremonial magick. I'm interested in chaos magick which is how I found your channel.
I did appreciate the video about which steps and practices you worked with on your journey. I'm an adult in my middle age years...mom, wife, full-time employed....raised Catholic. And I am only now beginning to journey and look into some of this "alternate" spirituality. What I am finding so far is that most people DO have some kind of childhood trauma, ostensibly dealt to them by people who were raised in the traditional Christian doctrine. Very hurtful. I think it's wild to hear about people who find their own spiritual process and magical inner selves and are able to go within to heal and save those little people we were when we began to realize we were the objects of such cruel, adult disdain. We were the whipping posts, the therapy ball, with no way out or no way to ever win. That so many people are finding healing and meaning is a major draw to me. So thank you for sharing your story. I continue to enjoy watching your videos and find myself learning and considering a lot of information that is new or that I am able to see in a new way. Thank you.
I have only just recently found you. And I truly appreciate this video. I love hearing everyone’s origin stories, especially when they start as far back as kids invalidates a lot of the things that had me thinking I was a little strange back in the day and caused a lot of confusion and unnecessary pain. I think I need anyone over the age of 33 at this point especially people amongst my age in their late 40s to early 50s definitely went through a whole 90s witchy phase and you were right everything was very Wicca centric. There was a long time when I thought something was wrong with me because I just didn’t align with all of the things that were so Wiccan. For a long time I thought I was a bad witch. What I didn’t realize is that I’ve been a witch the whole time. Great video. I’m also taking a dive into your entire channel. I really like it a lot. I appreciate your honesty. I also appreciate your inquisitive mind. You’re very studious and I love that.
I understand your worries about sharing such a personal story, actually. That is precisely why I still look for new channels on CZcams. I could write an essay on how valuable your video is for me, but I will spare you that torture :-) Thank you for sharing.
I definitely did not click off lol. I was really interested and captivated and grateful bc it's hard to do vulnerable videos so I greatly respect when people do. I loved hearing your journey and it was helpful to understand more about you. I'm always interested in personal stories and povs bc that's what makes something authentic to me. Not that you weren't already but I wanted to share my opinion on why videos like these are important and fascinating. Thank you for your courage and grace and I'm glad you're happier how. I will continue to lurk and support lol. Take care!
Being on the autism spectrum, I can totally relate to loneliness and depression. I was raised by a Christian household, and for the longest time felt obliged to try to believe Christianity. When I finally acknowledged to myself that I did not believe in Christianity, and started studying and practicing occultism, my interests became rather different from what most people are interested in, and it makes it hard to find people with common interests (especially when combined with being on the Autism spectrum). Wicca ever really fully resonated with me either. Thank you for sharing your story!
Very interesting that you created a servitor to help with your depression. Recently, I have undertaken a similar project. I have suffered with low self esteem for a long time, maybe most of my life. Recently, I started to deliberately look at my low self esteem as an "astral parasite" that I call "I hate myself". I created a servitor who's purpose is to transmute the topic attitudes that "I hate myself" both cultivates and feeds on into more empowering attitudes. This servitor is actually directly under the command of another servitor I created for a larger project, so that the works of this mental health servitor will be in alignment with my larger goals. The servitor "feeds" by transmuting the toxic emotions and attitudes into positive attitudes. Seeing that many people have issues with self loathing and low self esteem, this servitor will always have a plentiful source of energy.
Yes! Thank you for sharing your story, it is beautiful to hear how had someone gotten started on their path? Your videos and information are invaluable truly 🙏🤗 Thank you for doing what you do here on the social media platforms.
Thank you for sharing this video. I am a life long deppressionist and I have been wondering if my craft could help me out of it. After hearing how much it helped you, I am going to have to do a deep dive. So again, thank you so much for doing this video!
I see you fellow scientist! Very curious about your path and your studies too. Some people are simply drawn to understanding how things tick. It just scratches a certain itch in the brain, ha. Your energy feels like an old friend to me. I'm here for it and to learn more. Thanks for sharing your origins, internet stranger!
Thank you for sharing your story. I resonated with SO much! I also started out as a very lonely little girl I was 4 years older than my siblings, knew there was something more to spirituality that I was being told, and the only people close to my age were interesting in other things. When I did try to talk about it they flat out gaslit every experience and belief I had.
This was such a wild fun ride to take with you. 🖤💜 Thank you for sharing. I'd always been curious, but figured you just didn't want to share because it was so personal.
I actually found your upbringing quite fascinating. I express joy and gratitude for even acquiring your perspective and will take it into consideration for my journey. thanks you for sharing that.
I’m so happy you posted this! I am beginning to learn about chaos magic but of course with a healthy dose of skepticism for who is teaching. I relate a lot to your experiences, thank you for sharing your story! Just now learning about the mad scientist side of myself, and I’m excited to learn more from your channel 😊
Thank you for sharing your story with us! Super related to the primal part and others. Truly am reignited with inspiration when I learn from and listen to you. Loved hearing the whole thing.❤
You have really experienced a true jouney..I did watch your entire video by the way....I appreciate you opening up...I could sense your knowledge and experience, you just confirmed it 😊
Ivy, I really appreciate you opening up and sharing your story. I see many areas that i can relate to on a deep level. It is really nice for the community to share and grow together. Just wanted to say thank you for all your content and compassion for the arts. Had a quote to share it came from the expanse but i think it is very suitable here. "The more you share, the more your bowl will be plentiful". Thank you again and have a great week!
Ivy I watched this video not once but twice....loved it so much❤ it was like having a chitchat with you! For me, witchcraft actually gave me my identity....it helped me find my feet and strength...I can definitely relate to no mental alignment with peers.... their talks and activities seemed so boring and senseless to me😆
Thank you for sharing this. You described my experience, almost to the T. It's incredible to hear these words outside of myself. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there and creating such a loving community.
I loved hearing your story! It was good to hear how parts of our history were similar and how different they were, too. Thank you for sharing both the personal stuff and the informative stuff. ❤
I can see why you wouldn't want to share how you cured depression with witchcraft, but it would be so useful for so many people to hear what worked for you. You could discuss it with a giant disclaimer that you're not telling anyone that they can cure their depression with witchcraft but just explain your personal experience. Either way, I honor what feels right for you. It's a really vulnerable topic to discuss.
We run parallel with our paths through occult in many ways however, mine was 20 years earlier. It's a subject I have been besotted with at least since the age of 12. I can say it has been my one and maybe only true calling. I'm proud to say that I am a life-long student of the occult. It's been a fascinating journey. And, I think a lot of folks will be interested in your travel through it as well. We can feel marginalized by our interests and our believes and explorations. It is soothing to get validation that there are others like us, our tribe if you will, and to know we are not all alone in this world. So, thank you for sharing your personal story with us.
I’m interested! I think you’re one of the most knowledgeable CZcamsrs on here that I watch!!! And I love that you talk fast, please don’t ever change!!! Blessed Be 🌻🖤
I’m still here! LOL! I won’t go into my story bc I already did that in discord. I really enjoyed hearing your story! Actually Ivy, you ARE special! I can’t wait until you start putting books out! I’ll read them all! You have so many experiences to share … You remind me of Giles on Buffy the Vampire Slayer … He has an infinite amount of knowledge and if he doesn’t know something, he consults his books! LOL! I do hate that you experience trolls in this platform … Imagine what you could do without them! Thank you for staying on CZcams and sharing your knowledge with us. I have learned so much from you! You go girl!
Wow up until you said you didn't have siblings, it was basically my life. I skipped the grade (6th), would not recommend. I've been all over the place too with religions, and only recently have embraced my witchy side. I've always "known things". My children who are probably your age, have called me a "gypsy" for many years because of it. I felt like I have been trying to swim upstream for most of my 59 years. Rolling with the current, now. I've got a lot to learn and explore. Thanks for telling those of us who are just truly getting started, about your journey.
I thank you for sharing your story…I deeply relate to your is isolationism, being drawn of magical things and having a very active imagination. I never really fit into my family or made any real friends until college…also partially because I was closeted gay prior to college too…thanks so much for sharing your journey. Sending love, my friend.
OMG I am so glad I watched this. I feel like I've found a kindred spirit of sorts. I am a very late bloomer in a way (baby witch at 58) but have also had experiences from a young age, and dabbled off and on. I am also looking to cherry pick from a lot of different places including shamanism. among other things. And now you've got me really curious about chaos magic. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you SO much for all the love and support! I truly feel honored to receive all the kind and considerate comments. I wish I had time to respond to them all but I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it. 💙
I love all of it. I always want to hear the whole story.
By the way..anyone who has watched 5 minutes of any of your videos would already have guessed that you were a gifted student. We are what we are and not talking about it does not take away the truth. You are so humble and sweet and if anyone thinks you are bragging well they are listening from their own dark place. Thank you . I love your channel.
This made my day so much. THANK YOU! ♥️♥️
@@IvyTheOccultist ♥️♥️♥️
I 100% relate to feeling super isolated as a kid and also went through testing in 4th grade that revealed I would have been better matched intellectually by being moved up to 6th grade. My parents didn't move me up either, and I still wonder whether or not that was the right choice for me. I love that you shared this, as I am in my "armchair phase" right now and enjoy hearing how people came to be how they are now.
Armchair phase? Sounds like Tarot royalty to me😊 Queen of Swords royalty here.
I skipped the grade, 6th. Did the same, tested that I could do 8th grade work in the middle of 5th grade. I don't recommend it, the kids who I left behind in the class I was in all hated me, so did the ones who were previously a year ahead of me. I graduated at 16. Everyone was driving in 10th grade, I was only 14. I never felt like I belonged anywhere lol.
Sorry to hear that. 😢
You don’t sound pompous , your fiancé doesn’t know shit - sorry - so many people I’m sure can relate to this and not being challenged at school
I have to admit that when you said you were going to tell us your whole origin story, *that* voice in the back of my head said, "I'll bet she was bitten by a radioactive familiar and that turned her into a witch. " LOL Thank you for sharing such a personal subject... and now I feel better about some of my own journey. :-)
HAHA ok but that would have been a way cooler story
Seems like, for many of us, we started out as lonely kids who didn't fit in with their peers for whatever reason. I wasn't considered a gifted child. I have learning disabilities, couldn't pass a spelling test nor work with numbers to save my life. But i loved history and reading. I grew up in a small town with my father being a school teacher in the next town over and also a judge for our small town. Kind of like being the preachers kid, and by the way, he also taught church school to the older kids getting ready for their confirmation in the catholic church. I was bullyed pretty heavily in school. As a child of the 70sand 80s , there wasn't internet, there wasn't many books on the subject, no one in my little conservitive town thought as I did. but my mom had books on the craft, wiccan and books of history, and a monthly magazine. and I remember being fascinated by them. mom had signed a contract that she wouldn't interfere with my religious education, so although she was witchy, she would not teach me anything about it. She was ostrasised in our town, people thought her a witch as well, not because she was outwardly doing anything magical, just because she was different. she was from Texas and we lived in new York. the cultural differences made her an outcast. and me as well since I learned my ways from her. so I read everything I could on witchcraft which wasn't alot. any time I could go to a book story. I would buy books the libraries didn't have. and I also studied Buddhism, tebetan. and have a friend who was my teacher in a lot of ways. I still have my altar and books which I refer to a lot. for me, the hardest part of the craft or Buddhism is the reliance on visualization. something I can't do. I don't think in pictures, I think in words, a voice in my head that is constantly talking, telling me what I'm thinking and feeling. most magic books, and buddhist books have so much visualization that I just cant comprehend. so I have to find my own way where I don't rely on visualization. Ive rarely found things like a true occult shop, although we have watered down versions of new age shops. I'm allergic to sunlight making nature hard to deal with, which isolates me more. and now in my 50s, ive been disabled for years, not enough to get any help but enough to make employers not want to hire me. Thankfully my husband is a good sort and has taken over everything work reliated. I worked my whole life in health care only to be told im not useful anymore. so I study. I have more time to devote to try to find a spirituality that meets my unique needs. something more akin to my mom whispering prayers and chants I couldn't hear as she worked.
Thank you for sharing some of your story! 🙏💙
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself.
I was raised catholic,studying religions and occult in secret in my bedroom.we grew in spite of pure limitations.
Hugs
We’re around the same age and I even now aspire to be as cool and badass as you when I grow up 😂
I think it was great you shared about your challenges with schooling and not being challenged enough for you level of intellect and if anyone takes that in any other way than what you’ve explained they haven’t paid attention to the type of person you are at all and more fool them.
I know you probably get a lot of uplifting comments but I really want you to know, how much of a difference you do make on here. There’s so much bs and for me personally it really helps to have someone you can trust to just say it how it should be, the effort you give and how much time you give to your channel and platforms is really admirable and we appreciate all you do.
So no matter what on those days when you feel frustrated or abit meh just remember there are those of us who have been inspired by you, felt comforted with your advice and energy. You’re a good person and you deserve all the good things.
I’m not great with words so I hope this came across well.
💜
So beautifully said❤
I personally think your fantastic with words!!!
Absolutely Agree with all of it. Many Blessings 🌞
I think you are FANTASTIC with words! Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a sweet comment like this. 💙 It means a lot!
@@GramaSagefeather thank you 😊💜
@@helmoonkitty8583 blessings back to you, thank you 💜💜
Honoring the animal within--that is the perfect way to describe how I felt too! I love how well Buddhist practices help me to master my mind and emotional responses, but I feel like witchcraft helps me to acknowledge, honor, and integrate my lower and middle selves.
I’m going to have to rewatch this video like a million times to make note things I want more info on. Dude! Your thirst for knowledge is so so so juicy to me!! I don’t know of anyone else in my personal life like myself that loves learning and exploring and testing new things out. At the risk of sounding like a creeptastic individual, I so wish we could have a coffee date. I have a million things to ask and discuss!
I am waiting on pins and needles for the shamanism journey. And honestly any other sections of your knowledge journey you care to share.
Totally doesn't sound creeptastic 😂😂😂 If you're ever in the PNW, send me an email! 😊
@@IvyTheOccultist oh to travel again! Lol I have three littles so it makes it hard but if I get lucky and get to head out that way I will!
I definitely understand where you're coming from with "not thinking like others". I also don't think I'm special lol, but I was also in the gifted program, grew up in an atheist household and thought a lot about death, spirituality and world religions. So I connect with your story a lot. Thanks for sharing!
This is literally my, childhood, also then occult- teenagehood. Literally. Love you!
I resonate so much. I was a lonely 'gifted child' too, talking a lot with invisible friends, reading all days, in my own world. After years it turned out I am autistic and adhd but I think it's not just that, that it's also spiritual reason for that, I was always more interested in mysteries of existence, things unseen etc.
I think that it's very often when we gifted kids turn out not to be completely normal 😅😂 (neurotypical, fit to society norms and so on)
Me too
Ah, yes, the classic stereotype where everyone thinks all the gifted kids are smarter than them. It is not pompous or arrogant to admit such a thing. I never got bullied, but hearing others complain about me being smarter than them just because I was in the GT program always stung, especially when our GT teacher always told us that our status didn’t mean we were smarter or better than anyone. Now we come to our adult lives and the gifted kids struggle because we never learned how to study because we never had the need, and when I ask about people’s study techniques, I realize straight away that that won’t work for me.
It was nice to hear the timeline of your journey and it now makes more sense on how you got to where you are. I always have to remind myself that nothing is a straight line when trying to find your way through things
“Today I’m a polytheist. Tomorrow I’m a pantheonist.” This part resonated with me so much as a chaos witch. Most of this video did resonate too 😂Thank you so much for sharing.
Still here, friend. :) Thanks for this background. It makes a lot of sense. I particularly relate to you wanting, needing, to get to your animal self, which happened to me too in a big way. And to the spiritual awakening you experienced, which happened in a similar way although from a different direction for me too. And very much with the Mad Scientist archetype. Mine is Nature Explorer.
The "nature explorer" archetype totally fits you and I can really see that! Thank you for caring and I'm glad some of it resonated. 🖤😊
As a former staunch atheist but always drawn to witchcraft, your channel and story have been transformative. Thank you for sharing.
me too
Oh wow, we had very similar childhoods, not surprising 😂. In my late teens I had an older bf who was a Wiccan ‘priest’, cue audible eye roll, so that’s how I started. But otherwise very similar, thank you!!!
Oh the audible eye roll is real!! 😆 I'm somewhat glad and not glad that we had similar childhoods... I'm glad we can at least relate to each other then 😂
@@IvyTheOccultist lol! It’s not the Wiccan part, it’s the pompous a$$ part! And yes, hopefully someday we can sit down with some tea and discuss-it feels less lonely to find kindred spirits, no matter the situation 💜💚
@@FernHazeloh hahahaha!! Good to know and yes, kindred spirits for sure! ♥️♥️
I can relate with you on the "gifted child" crap. I had a college sophomore level of english literacy and vocabulary by 4th grade because of similar life milestones you listed. The ADHD (formerly ADD) diagnosis probably had an impact on that.
I understand your SO being worried about you potentially sounding "pompous" for sharing that bit and is coming from a place of love, but you need solidarity from your community just as much as we need it from you. Silencing that is a disservice to yourself.
Thank you for sharing all of this ❤❤❤❤
I could not relate to my peers either. Moreover, no one that I've ever known is really interested in the occult. I've been developing my skills and listening to earth for almost 60 years.
Thank you for telling this piece of your history.
Always wanted to know your past and your overall growth as a person in the occult / witchy / pagan space. LOVE this video!!!
You are a gift ❤thank you for sharing xxx
Still here! ❤
🥰♥️♥️
Your story resonates with me so much. Thank you for sharing! ❤
I'm so glad you can relate! ♥️♥️
Listening to your origin story, I literally broke down in tears because it was the FIRST time I’ve ever heard anyone articulate so closely to my own spiritual journey. I related so much. I am crying because…you go so long without any faith that any of it means anything ya know- but then you come across something by chance, and realize the universe is listening, it knows ME, sees my journey and sees all the searching I’ve done. Finding your video and hearing your story gave me full body chills and validates for me that I am on the right path & that there are others! I’ve gone through so many similar phases and it’s like I needed them all to understand one thing or another, so that one day I put it all together! Especially when you said marrying science with Magick, oh my goodness. I have been a spiritual nomad for so long, searching high and low for a concept of God that resonates, for truth, for an identity, & for a sense of home - not knowing if any of those experiences would ever exist for me. I went through a 10 year walk in the desert, and it’s like I finally see something on the horizon! I woke up one December day and gave myself permission to believe in something so many tell me is “wrong” or “evil”. Witchcraft is ironically the only path that’s given me God, given me truth, an identity and a sense of home. I found your video and I don’t know. I am just so thankful you shared it. You are helping so many people who just need that wink from the universe saying follow that feeling, you’re not alone, yes I hear your questions, don’t be afraid to keep going.
Unfortunately, what we’ve received as Christianity was built to squash true spirituality. If the masses were allowed to develop their own personal connection with the Divine, they wouldn’t be very easy to control, if at all.
By the way, I LOVED this video! You helped us get to know you better through your fascinating journey and honored your own need to keep your private life private. Brava! As we said in the military, Bravo-Zulu! And as to age, I have 30 years on you and I’m just now bringing together everything I’ve been interested in most of my life and realizing that all of it comes together as witchcraft. What an amazing realization! Thank you so much for the beautiful woman you are! 💕💖💞🔮🧚🏼
Thank you so much for all the kindness! 💙💙💙
I understand what you mean by having cured your depression. As a child, I was diagnosed with several mental health issues, and I truly felt alone as a child. For me, it took a 10-year-long vision quest of sorts where I was immersed in my Shadow. I began unraveling my fears and eventually came to a point where I felt ready to move on.
I definitely don't recommend this for everyone. I ended up in some dangerous situations that I was lucky to get out of alive.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Holy Sh#%!!! I feel so unaccomplished! Lol Your energy is amazing.
Oh no, please don't feel unaccomplished! Haha that was definitely not my intention. Everyone's practices happen at the right time for them! 😊💙
@@IvyTheOccultist Oh I was kidding and I know you didn’t mean that. I was basically just saying how incredible you are to learn and practice so much!! I don’t have the patience for all that. But I am on a good path and happy with it. Have a great day!
It's so wonderful to hear your occult origin story. What an amazing journey!! Thank you for opening up and being so vulnerable. 💜 Here's to yet another fabulous 20 years!! xoxo
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I have been thoroughly enjoying your videos for about a month now, and was indeed curious about your background! I love the content you provide, it's educational, entertaining, thought-provoking, and a much-needed addition to the magical information available on CZcams.
Thank you so much!! 💙
Well, we have a lot of similarities between us, sister! I’m in my 60’s now, and am British and had a catholic and a Protestant parent. I can relate to so much of your childhood; the spirit chats, the not belonging, the not being challenged, the boredom, lack of tv (and even electricity in winter), going to lots of different churches and reading lots. I didn’t realise until my 20’s that my great maternal grandma was of Romany blood, but once I knew, things clicked into place. Witchcraft flows in our family, but it was never talked about, it was all actions. My GGM favoured me over my younger sibling, and when she passed over, she would come to me in my teens whilst I slept to help me with my teen angst. It was like being in a room with her chatting. These days I’m a solitary, kitchen/ traditional witch, working with herbs, the forest, and a big crafter. I’ve never had a lot of friends, I have three I’ve known most of my life, so solitary feels natural to me. My spirituality comes through nature, probably due to being born under earth sign, and also earth rising. 🐝
Love this video and I hope a lot of people feel the same because we need storytimes like this. Helps everyone feel just a bit less alone in their experiences.
Totally late to this video but omg, I loved hearing about your journey. I relate to the feelings you had growing up. I was alone and introverted, raised incredibly Christian, and my school wouldn't do anything to move me up even though I was above my class scholastically. You never once sound pompous or too good for anyone. You clearly try to relate to so many people, and you're good at teaching a wide variety of us as well. Thanks for all you do and sharing your story!
It made me sad to hear that you didn't think this video would be interesting for many. Ive watched your videos for awhile now and I can honestly say that this one was one of my favourites, don't underestimate yourself, take care!
Just so you know, I watched this video first, and I'm so glad I did. With knowledge of similarities, it helps your listeners to really get an understanding of who the person is we are listening to and whether or not you're someone we can really relate to. You happen to be someone I can definitely relate with.
Hi! Another former gifted kid here.
It is not pompous/arrogant/selfish of you to talk about your struggles with being gifted. If you view intelligence as a spectrum anything on the fringes of it is going to come with problems. People on the lower end feel different and so do we on the higher end. The struggle is real and should not be discounted just because we excel academically. In many other ways people like us were special needs children. It just was never recognized as such. I’m so glad that you mentioned it despite your partner’s advice. It’s really important that people like us tell our stories.
Much love, 🤍
I can 100% relate. While you got to Witchcraft practically a lifetime worth of years earlier than me, I completely identify to the experience you had getting there. I too, felt and still feel isolated. I didn't lack children my own age, but I often felt more at ease on my own. I was raised in a religious, although not strict religious, household. I tried for so many of my years to fit into the mold.... never did. I started school a year early, and so was younger than everyone in my class.... and rarely had more than 1(maybe 2) close school friends at any given times, despite being an athlete and being in more "on stage" activities. I somehow just blocked people out. I didn't know until I was 49 that I had experienced trauma at about 3... and had literally repressed the memory. Regained that memory partially atb49 and that began my dive into shadow work, psychology, tarot... witchcraft. I too, do not currently have an interest in wicca... it feels too much like trading one dogma for another. Not for me.... nothing wrong with it, but not for me.
I am either 13 or 3 years into my craft, depending on what you count as a beginning. 13 years as an armchair practitioner. 3 years stepping into it consciously once I recovered my trauma memory.
Choosing to be solitary, but sometimes crave a community to lean on. Still trying to leave the reigns loose... and undefined because I am science-based, psychology interested, physical, nature-based.
Went through my own Eastern philosophy curious period.... but meditation never stuck/ worked for me.... until recently.
So now... bouncing along figuring it all out... feeling a connection to folk, paganism, animism, and chaos for the reasons you state. Not sure if I even care to have a label. Astrology, tarot, oracle, crystals, herbology, animals and nature... into all of it.
I was even recommended to go to a shaman for my own healing (soul retrieval) and have an interest in shamanism as a study area.
I'm glad I watched your video because I now feel less "all over the place" and more incorporated, if you will. I just have a broad number of interests.
This is the most scattered comment, EVER!!! 😂
Thank you for sharing, it's appreciated.🙏💚
And no, you don't sound arrogant! You're honest about your experiences and that's what I love and appreciate the most about your videos! 👍
Absolutely FANTABULUS!!! I sooo relate to 90%of your story. So Glad I just found your channel.
Thank You for sharing! Loved the video ❤ If possible make another one touching psychic abilities!
Would love to! 🥰
I love this it's so inspiration thanks for sharing 👍👍
I love this so much! I'm quite a bit older, but I've dabbled in many things and am really just now, at the ripe old age of 55, coming to "the dark side". 😂 I've done stints in several branches of xtianity, atheism Buddhism, and I'm still super interested in Human Design, and my personal motto has always been to just try something to find out if it resonates. (I'm an enneagram 7 and a 3/5 Emotional Generator in HD, which totally explains this) so chaos magic seems right up my alley! Thanks for this!
Oh yes, chaos magick is perfect for an Enneagram 7!! And thank you for the sweet comment ♥️
Interesting! Thanks for sharing! ❤
I resonated a lot with what you said. Please don't minimize or apologize for what you couldn't control. You gave me some answers. Thank you.
Loved hearing your story. Thank you so much! ❤❤
🥰♥️♥️
Listened all the way through! Thanks for sharing. ❤
I relate to 99% percent of this so much. Wow. Extremely similar spiritual paths you and I share. The more videos of yours I watch which have only been 4 or 5 now, I learn just how similar. Very nice to learn some more about you and your path. 😊✨
I LOVE that you're sharing your origin story. I also find it strangely comforting that there's someone else as a child who was intrigued by magic, death, etc. For me I remember since about age 9, 10 I would scavenge around my school's library as well as the local public library because I was obsessed with death , death rituals and practices like what the Egyptians did, why they mummified the way they did. I was obsessed with psychology, and magic. My mom's side is super Christian/Catholic while my dad's side is super atheist, *maybe* a little Buddhist. A lot of what you talked about is so relatable... Except maybe the gifted part. In grade 4 I was apparently gifted but not so much in math or things like that. I've always been more artsy, creative. I hope I can meet people like you in real life. What I love about your videos is that you really do seem like someone I'd feel comfortable with talking to irl. Thank you for the content you create! 💛
Hi Ivy, thanks so much for this video, I know you don’t think it’ll get many views but for your subscribers who watch your videos for you, not just the content, we love hearing about the personal stuff. It’s relatable and I guarantee a lot of people who look up to you and feel like the weird, lonely kid too will be inspired by your story and might seek a more magical life because of it ✨
Your story sounds almost exactly like mine, down to the “gifted” thing! Hearing you makes me feel so much less alone. ❤
Legit wondered, today, what your "story" was, as I have just discovered your channel yesterday. xxx
Welcome to my little corner of the internet, then! 😊💙
No, I totally relate to a lot. Thank you for sharing as my own path has been rather complex and circuitous too.
I come from a predominantly Christian household. I went through my atheist phase after a youth pastor told me i was possessed for being bi-polar. I ended up having nightmares for days, and I was angry about the experience and rejected Christianity. I devoted much of my time after that to Marxism and political activism. After 10 years of activism. I got burned out and was looking for a new spiritual truth. I introduced paganism through my wife. I took a year and a day from a Trad/Dianic Witch and then migrated from there to Druidry. After that, I got into Zen Buddhism and Taoism, even Dudeism. I watched a video about Thelema and I became drawn to ceremonial magick and the work of Aleister Crowley, and I've been a professed Thelemite for passed two and half years.
I am so sorry you had to go through all that but it definitely seems to have led you to a spiritual transformation! 💙
@IvyTheOccultist oh most definitely, and I while I'm currently a Thelemite, my spiritual path is not static and may certainly change over time. I am content to see where the winds carry me.
I admire your courage in opening up about your growth being the troll monkeys are ever present. I believe most of us have been needing to hear this from other practitioners? Knowing that in fact we are basically the same in our upbringing & beliefs although we have gotten to this place by different paths & isn’t that exactly the point? I thank you for your candor & fuck the trolls! 🔮
Haha thank you! Yes, f*CK the trolls!
Thank you for sharing the bit about isolation from your peers due to feeling intellectually different. This why I love the pagan/ witchy space so much, I have never met someone outside of this community that has shared in this situation. That was so validating (and relieving, I was starting to think I had NPD for a sec).
Thank you for sharing it Wad really interesting ! Different story here but same archetypes, it is genuinely very nice and comforting not feeling alone, even today I feel like I don’t belong in my very own loved crowd but when I hear witches speaking about their Life and their experiences I feel home for once so thank you very much for opening up. ❤
Loved it 🖤 Thank you!
🥰♥️♥️
I think it is so great that you shared this with us. Thank you for being open and honest. I appreciate the fact that you want some of your life to remain private! Never share anything you are uncomfortable with.
I came here through your video about chaos magick. It was so well explained and your videos are very comprehensive and easy to listen to. So interesting to hear your personal story
Watched the entire thing! I grew up on ranches in rural Texas. This hit hard 😭
Thank you for sharing this, Ivy. It is very interesting to me as someone with lifelong depression probably stemming from neglect, isolation and abuse from an early age to know that magic can help with that. Very encouraging.
Although my journey is not the same, indeed many twists and turns from childhood to current occured.I was adopted into a Lakota tribe and given a name by the Pipekeeper. However, due to further twists I fell out of contact. Being perhaps the youngest of the group, many members have left their earthly bodies. I thirst for exploring shamanism more and simply overwhelmed on so many levels. I know content you provide will help greatly in honing my learning. Looking forward to further light and knowledge!
Loved this video !!!!!! Thank you for sharing your story ❤
♥️♥️♥️
Thank you for sharing! It truly resonates!
I completely relate to not having anything in common with your peers. I was bullied relentlessly for not watching the Disney Channel. 🤦♀️ You do not come off as pompous; you are who you are and you should be proud of it!
This video is so moving and resonates on so many levels. Thank you so so much for this! I so appreciate you! ❤
As a fellow "gifted" child, i understand the struggle of not having anyone to talk to. I'm currently in my 'armchair magician' stage doing a lot of research and just focusing on self-improvement and trying get past my inherent skepticism.
Would love to hear more of your spirit work as a child. Your experiences and how you found guidance through those years.
❤ Glad you shared ❤
Makes people feel not alone
Thank you 💙 And I'll add it to the "video ideas" list! 😊🙏
Loved this video and it really helped me understand that I’m not the only one who had a very isolated, lonely childhood 💜 Sending you love and light from England 🏴
Thank you so much for this video. Depression is like a hydra to defeat. You cut off one head and two more grow back. Your video has encouraged me to search within my own practice for ways to combat my own issues. It's empowering to look within for answers. Again thank you.
Your origin story is so similar to my own. I'm glad I came across your channel as I've been seeking more like-minded people of late. Like you, I have a background in shamanism, witchcraft and ceremonial magick. I'm interested in chaos magick which is how I found your channel.
I did appreciate the video about which steps and practices you worked with on your journey. I'm an adult in my middle age years...mom, wife, full-time employed....raised Catholic. And I am only now beginning to journey and look into some of this "alternate" spirituality. What I am finding so far is that most people DO have some kind of childhood trauma, ostensibly dealt to them by people who were raised in the traditional Christian doctrine. Very hurtful. I think it's wild to hear about people who find their own spiritual process and magical inner selves and are able to go within to heal and save those little people we were when we began to realize we were the objects of such cruel, adult disdain. We were the whipping posts, the therapy ball, with no way out or no way to ever win. That so many people are finding healing and meaning is a major draw to me. So thank you for sharing your story. I continue to enjoy watching your videos and find myself learning and considering a lot of information that is new or that I am able to see in a new way. Thank you.
My childhood was the same as yours; reading in my room alone, no siblings and not allowed friends around, not allowed a boyfriend….
I have only just recently found you. And I truly appreciate this video. I love hearing everyone’s origin stories, especially when they start as far back as kids invalidates a lot of the things that had me thinking I was a little strange back in the day and caused a lot of confusion and unnecessary pain. I think I need anyone over the age of 33 at this point especially people amongst my age in their late 40s to early 50s definitely went through a whole 90s witchy phase and you were right everything was very Wicca centric. There was a long time when I thought something was wrong with me because I just didn’t align with all of the things that were so Wiccan. For a long time I thought I was a bad witch. What I didn’t realize is that I’ve been a witch the whole time. Great video. I’m also taking a dive into your entire channel. I really like it a lot. I appreciate your honesty. I also appreciate your inquisitive mind. You’re very studious and I love that.
I understand your worries about sharing such a personal story, actually. That is precisely why I still look for new channels on CZcams. I could write an essay on how valuable your video is for me, but I will spare you that torture :-) Thank you for sharing.
I definitely did not click off lol. I was really interested and captivated and grateful bc it's hard to do vulnerable videos so I greatly respect when people do. I loved hearing your journey and it was helpful to understand more about you. I'm always interested in personal stories and povs bc that's what makes something authentic to me. Not that you weren't already but I wanted to share my opinion on why videos like these are important and fascinating. Thank you for your courage and grace and I'm glad you're happier how. I will continue to lurk and support lol. Take care!
Thank you so much! ♥️♥️
Being on the autism spectrum, I can totally relate to loneliness and depression. I was raised by a Christian household, and for the longest time felt obliged to try to believe Christianity. When I finally acknowledged to myself that I did not believe in Christianity, and started studying and practicing occultism, my interests became rather different from what most people are interested in, and it makes it hard to find people with common interests (especially when combined with being on the Autism spectrum). Wicca ever really fully resonated with me either. Thank you for sharing your story!
Very interesting that you created a servitor to help with your depression. Recently, I have undertaken a similar project. I have suffered with low self esteem for a long time, maybe most of my life. Recently, I started to deliberately look at my low self esteem as an "astral parasite" that I call "I hate myself". I created a servitor who's purpose is to transmute the topic attitudes that "I hate myself" both cultivates and feeds on into more empowering attitudes. This servitor is actually directly under the command of another servitor I created for a larger project, so that the works of this mental health servitor will be in alignment with my larger goals. The servitor "feeds" by transmuting the toxic emotions and attitudes into positive attitudes. Seeing that many people have issues with self loathing and low self esteem, this servitor will always have a plentiful source of energy.
Yes! Thank you for sharing your story, it is beautiful to hear how had someone gotten started on their path? Your videos and information are invaluable truly 🙏🤗
Thank you for doing what you do here on the social media platforms.
Thank you for sharing this video. I am a life long deppressionist and I have been wondering if my craft could help me out of it. After hearing how much it helped you, I am going to have to do a deep dive. So again, thank you so much for doing this video!
I see you fellow scientist! Very curious about your path and your studies too. Some people are simply drawn to understanding how things tick. It just scratches a certain itch in the brain, ha.
Your energy feels like an old friend to me. I'm here for it and to learn more. Thanks for sharing your origins, internet stranger!
Thank you for sharing your story. I resonated with SO much! I also started out as a very lonely little girl I was 4 years older than my siblings, knew there was something more to spirituality that I was being told, and the only people close to my age were interesting in other things. When I did try to talk about it they flat out gaslit every experience and belief I had.
This was such a wild fun ride to take with you. 🖤💜 Thank you for sharing. I'd always been curious, but figured you just didn't want to share because it was so personal.
I actually found your upbringing quite fascinating. I express joy and gratitude for even acquiring your perspective and will take it into consideration for my journey. thanks you for sharing that.
I’m so happy you posted this! I am beginning to learn about chaos magic but of course with a healthy dose of skepticism for who is teaching. I relate a lot to your experiences, thank you for sharing your story! Just now learning about the mad scientist side of myself, and I’m excited to learn more from your channel 😊
Thank you for sharing your story with us! Super related to the primal part and others. Truly am reignited with inspiration when I learn from and listen to you. Loved hearing the whole thing.❤
Thank you! 💙💙
You have really experienced a true jouney..I did watch your entire video by the way....I appreciate you opening up...I could sense your knowledge and experience, you just confirmed it 😊
Ivy, I really appreciate you opening up and sharing your story. I see many areas that i can relate to on a deep level. It is really nice for the community to share and grow together. Just wanted to say thank you for all your content and compassion for the arts. Had a quote to share it came from the expanse but i think it is very suitable here. "The more you share, the more your bowl will be plentiful". Thank you again and have a great week!
Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate it! 🙏
Ivy I watched this video not once but twice....loved it so much❤ it was like having a chitchat with you!
For me, witchcraft actually gave me my identity....it helped me find my feet and strength...I can definitely relate to no mental alignment with peers.... their talks and activities seemed so boring and senseless to me😆
Thank you so much for this! 💙💙
Thank you for sharing this. You described my experience, almost to the T. It's incredible to hear these words outside of myself. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there and creating such a loving community.
I loved hearing your story! It was good to hear how parts of our history were similar and how different they were, too. Thank you for sharing both the personal stuff and the informative stuff. ❤
Thanks for sharing your story.
I can see why you wouldn't want to share how you cured depression with witchcraft, but it would be so useful for so many people to hear what worked for you. You could discuss it with a giant disclaimer that you're not telling anyone that they can cure their depression with witchcraft but just explain your personal experience.
Either way, I honor what feels right for you. It's a really vulnerable topic to discuss.
We run parallel with our paths through occult in many ways however, mine was 20 years earlier. It's a subject I have been besotted with at least since the age of 12. I can say it has been my one and maybe only true calling. I'm proud to say that I am a life-long student of the occult. It's been a fascinating journey. And, I think a lot of folks will be interested in your travel through it as well. We can feel marginalized by our interests and our believes and explorations. It is soothing to get validation that there are others like us, our tribe if you will, and to know we are not all alone in this world. So, thank you for sharing your personal story with us.
I’m interested! I think you’re one of the most knowledgeable CZcamsrs on here that I watch!!! And I love that you talk fast, please don’t ever change!!! Blessed Be 🌻🖤
Thank you so much for sharing your story! It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who feels they’re all over the place!!! 😂
I’m still here! LOL! I won’t go into my story bc I already did that in discord. I really enjoyed hearing your story! Actually Ivy, you ARE special! I can’t wait until you start putting books out! I’ll read them all! You have so many experiences to share … You remind me of Giles on Buffy the Vampire Slayer … He has an infinite amount of knowledge and if he doesn’t know something, he consults his books! LOL! I do hate that you experience trolls in this platform … Imagine what you could do without them! Thank you for staying on CZcams and sharing your knowledge with us. I have learned so much from you! You go girl!
Wow up until you said you didn't have siblings, it was basically my life. I skipped the grade (6th), would not recommend. I've been all over the place too with religions, and only recently have embraced my witchy side. I've always "known things". My children who are probably your age, have called me a "gypsy" for many years because of it. I felt like I have been trying to swim upstream for most of my 59 years. Rolling with the current, now. I've got a lot to learn and explore. Thanks for telling those of us who are just truly getting started, about your journey.
I thank you for sharing your story…I deeply relate to your is isolationism, being drawn of magical things and having a very active imagination. I never really fit into my family or made any real friends until college…also partially because I was closeted gay prior to college too…thanks so much for sharing your journey. Sending love, my friend.
💙💙💙
Wait til it's 20 and 30 years in!! I'm happy to see the path your on. Your like a refresher course!! ❤🎉❤😢❤ hugs 🫂
Thank you for sharing
OMG I am so glad I watched this. I feel like I've found a kindred spirit of sorts. I am a very late bloomer in a way (baby witch at 58) but have also had experiences from a young age, and dabbled off and on. I am also looking to cherry pick from a lot of different places including
shamanism. among other things. And now you've got me really curious about chaos magic.
Thanks for sharing.