It's NEVER okay to cheat. Period. But it is ALWAYS okay to leave a relationship if you feel like your needs and desires aren't being fulfilled, you've communicated that to your partner, and they have neither the capacity or desire to fulfill them.
Try telling clowns who want to come to Jay Z's aid and say "so what! His cheating was in the past!" Man took a vow in front of closest family members and friends in a union and was unfaithful to Beyonce to the point her sister wanted to whoop his nass in the elevator.
The ladies ain't ready to be honest. Instant deflection. That dudes' real issue is that he should never have committed to the woman that is holding back. An early, open and honest conversation about expectations, desires and needs could have gave both individuals valuable insight on who and what they are dealing with.
That's the thing. Women will never understand no matter how you explain it. They use words and expressions that have no meaning in the conversations such as integrity or morality. People who are able to murder unborn human beings SHOULDN'T be using these words
@@omarimack194you make it seem like women intentionally switch up. Pregnancy destroys women. Especially when they have partners that do not contribute. Women are exhausted and burnt out. Not to mention that pregnancy can literally destroy your hormones and libido. I can take a while to recover. Men need to understand this and assess whether or not having children is worth the risk to their relationship. Have a real conversation about the lack of sex, and if you can't fix it, then terminate the relationship.
@@ineedhoez A while is understandable. YEARS are questionable. At that point, it’s usually a choice. Btw, working to provide for a family is no picnic either. 😒
All jokes aside....my friend went through this....his wife refused therapy...and now they're divorced....come to find out...she was having an affair with her ex....🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thats all it is !....his woman is giving it up to someone else !....women love sex just as much as men do and AINT NO WAY she is gonna go that long without ANY intimacy !
She is gonna be judged hardcore by the most High if she dont repent and acknowledgeher faults. Even if she repent she has to collect for her sins..Idolatry and Adultery is nothing sweet.
He started off with the “you know. Y’all have a baby” So basically you with her and she’s with you because y’all created a child together. But you don’t want her enough and she doesn’t want you enough. If sex happened 5 times in a year, there’s way more to the story. When asking for advice, I’ve learned you have to give all the details if you want the right wisdom shared back with you.
If a woman withholds sex for any reason other than medical or abuse from the man, then the truth is that she is NOT GENUINELY attracted to him sexually and uses sex to manipulate him. People don't prohibit themselves from that which they get pleasure unless they have to. If a woman genuinely enjoys sex with a man, she ain't gonna withhold sex from him unless she has to (medical or abuse).
If she just had a baby, her body has gone through changes, make her feel wanted again. Pour into her. Love her and your new baby. Men find it easier to look for a new women to sleep with rather than work on the relationship they are currently in. Never understood it
We have to ask real questions. What has changed since the addition of the child to the relationship? Do you still go on as many dates/outings, or have as much quality time as you did at the beginning of the relationship when sex was more abundant? How much of the parenting are you doing? How much of the housework are you doing? Does she also work outside of the home, AND still has to take on the majority of the housework and childcare? When is the last time that your partner had an orgasm? Is there intimacy throughout the day, and not just at night? Has your partner been negatively mentally affected by giving birth? (Post Partum Depression is real). And any other question that you can think of from your or her perspective. If after having a genuine conversation the answers don't look too good then you evaluate wheter or not you want to salvage your relationship. If you actually want to keep it then cheating will destroy it, and so you should come together as partners to find a solution. If you don't want to keep it then LEAVE. You only get a few decades on this rock no one should be forced to spend it unhappy. Take care of your kid, and go live your life.
Exactly. If you have to go ask a panel of people when can you cheat, you and your partner aren't having meaningful conversations. Maybe go to therapy to have a mediator. Me n my partner did.
So, Randi a panel member posted that she spoke to the couple (the woman was in attendance when he asked this 🫨), and she basically said that the woman was tired of doing all of the housework AND childcare alone. Just a sad situation all around. He should be ashamed of himself.
@@user-ye4bu6xh4cif she JUST had a baby a d doing ALL of the housework, child care and possibly 9to5.... SHE'S stressed and tired. PPD is real and fatigue is real. Some men are literally insensitive about these situations and the changes a woman's body goes thru. I do agree conversations need to be met, but also some empathy! If he doesn't pull his weight in the home, then he basically found the cause of his own problem...HIM! We women don't just get riled up at the drop of a dime, we like affection throughout the day and it doesn't have to be sexual, but helping throughout the day, making things less stressful for us, hell take care of the kids THOROUGHLY without asking us for help with shxt and let us relax, THOSE things will get you reversed cowgirled mkay!😌
Many times it is difficult for partners to communicate candidly about needs and desires. As a result, it can leave one or the other feeling disconnected, rejected, and alone for considerable lengths of time and potentially seeking support elsewhere. The issue here is the inability to effectively communicate and work through obstacles.
Yes. Not only that but the way you say things also. If one person is pushing blame on either side nobody will take responsibility thus taking offense and becoming defensive. It really takes some empathy kindness and compassion on both sides to see a different perspective. The example about paying bills is light years away from the same thing. Getting a job to help your husband support a house hold is different than I just had a baby and whatever came with that situation. They aren’t the same thing. Like someone else said tho this is why you need to have all the details because if she had any complications or bleeding, c-section, issues with breast feeding, vaginal pain from rips or tears, even physiological postpartum syndrome, or even if it’s her first child and she hasn’t figured out how to manage to juggle everything yet, there needs to be better communication on both ends. He may not know what she needs but he cannot know if doesn’t say anything and vice versa.
I think you have to address the issue in a direct manner. Unless you're dating someone that is really selfish, they have to know that they are not fulfilling your needs. Have discussions about what you're missing and eventually the partner will let you know whether they think things should end or if they want to keep things going and you doing your thing on the side. If that isn't addressed, then end it yourself, because they aren't considerate of your desires.
I don't have a dog in this fight, but I can relate. My last relationship was with a woman who just was not into physical affection... at least, with me. After talking to her about it, watching her interact with her immediate family, noticing that even after months of not being together, those people did not embrace one another, I was able to conclude that she was just NOT affectionate. After apologizing to her for (I believe) making her feel bad about it over the course of two very difficult years, I ended the relationship. She had a lot of trouble with the fact that I paid attention to her literally taking two steps back when I reached for her, versus her telling me, "But I do want you to touch me." #actions
How dare she make it about his integrity and not her being trifling! Men don't just want sex, they need it (I'm speaking within the confines of marriage). I bet she was giving unlimited sex before marriage and how you start is what it takes to maintain the bond. I don't like how his question was minimized by Kitty Rose.
It's never okay to step out, but it's never okay to let your man go without having what satisfies him either. To throw not paying bills in the mix got me thinking that we don't want one another if we don't put out...money or sex. Both are energy exchanges, but in a relationship should not ve exchanged for the other, but sex is a beautiful and powerful exchange.
But women are hypergamy by nature if a man loses his job or ability to provide a woman is gonna step out so if a woman is not giving his man pleasure and he is letting you know then don't be surprised when he steps out. Can't be one sided all the time women need to be accountable also not saying it's right but it's not right for women not to hold their man down when he loses everything but was providing for you before hand
Cheating should not be an option. Communication is the key to determine why your partner not interested in having sex. Maybe the other partner not showing her the attention , emotionally, mentally attraction .
Cheating will always be an option as you partner can decide for any reason they don’t want to be intimate and their body their choice, if you want to step outside of a relationship it’s also your choice. Until you are married you are still single anyway
What does commitment really look like? Do they know? She had 'your' baby. Let's have a conversation & get to the why b4 you step out on your commitment.
And once we figure out the why let’s work on a solution and stop telling men to simply “deal with it”. Often times the problem is brought up but women don’t want to do the work to get back to or close to where the intimacy was prior. And plenty of men just sit there and let it be a joke he can about with the boys. “Oh man me and my old lady ain’t had action in months”. 🤦🏾♂️
@@paulekezie465 Uhm sir, if I had a problem with this, I would leave. Would you be okay with your girl asking another man (that she wanted to screw) to pay yalls bills because you couldn't? Bottomline, he was disrespectful for asking this question for the world to see him disrespect his girl, instead of asking a therapist who can actually help them. I only saw this clip, but if she recently had their baby, the body and the mind definitely need time to heal. Why hurt someone this way because you want kewchie on the side, and why put another woman in that position as well. He's just selfish and disrespectful....like, just walk away sir🤣
That's exactly what you should do if you're not happy in that relationship if you're going to cheat don't be with her if you're not in it to the end going through the ups and downs with her and you got to cheat you should get out of it and let somebody else in that's ready to ride the
Most men do not think that way. If that is his child, he knows there is a solid level of commitment there, whether they are married or NOT. Its not only thr relationship at stake. Most men have always taken these steps, rarely do ppl just cheat over night, for no real reason. What U suggest is typical todays modern day females way of thinking. Quick to abandon everything at the drop of a dime, despite all the bad things that comes along w/it, including not even considering the innocent new born child that didnt ask to come into Ur world...
It's never ok to cheat, period but it is ok to have that conversation with your partner about the situation. If her sex drive is just no longer their and she is ok with you getting it from somewhere else cool but if she isn't then you need to figure out how important sex is to you and weather it's worth leaving the relationship or staying and working through it. Also, sex is never just sex......remember that when the conversation happens
lol most of the time she’s cheating. Most women aren’t sitting around here for years not desiring sex 😂 She just doesn’t find dude attractive. Look at him.
I despise when women disregard the importance of physical intimacy when it behooves them, 5 or 6 times in a 2yr span is absolutely wild and beyond inconsiderate to your partner. That being said homeboy should talk to his girl about the reasoning for the drop-off but damn talk about lack of empathy.
Are we really equating sex to paying bills. Like having sex is transaction. Maybe try having a conversation with your partner, about 'why they arent in the mood? and how your needs are being met.'
😤I’m saying… paying a bill is not a potential violation to your body. Unless men have to bend over and consent to these utilities being taken directly out of their poop shoots, it’s a dead comparison.
Yes you goofy bird....we are. It never ceases to amaze how Women will run their mouths all day about what they will and won't except, and what their "standards" are, yet Men are supposed to deal with whatever fsck-sh1t you got in store for him and love you for it. Nah. That isn't how this game is played.
@@rainbeauxunicorn5237 LOLz whut ? Who in the hell is talking about violating someone else's body. Cut the goal post moving, gaslighting nonsense and just admit you know that there is a double standard and you endorse it. FOH.
We don't want to leave because we genuinely love you. It's insane that woman will deny a man his needs and desires and think it's acceptable. So here's what we men gonna do since you banned love making, we're gonna go cheat with a female coworker named Vanessa until you get your act together I know how it sounds but the end of the day we coming back to you baby we just need to "release" we don't love Vanessa she's only for recreational activities. Y'all are our main squeeze. 💯
If the dude is asking the question, I would imagine that he has had this conversation with the mother of his child. Probably the reason why he got the five time that he did get. To tell someone that they are stepping out of their integrity is a bit premature and rude. They have swingers, cockholds, etc… If he is able to have a real conversation with his partner and they come up with a plan, who is to say? This situation could include if someone goes to prison, becomes sick, becomes injured. Leaving doesn’t always have to be the answer and the partner may be willing to take into consideration their inability and the fact that it is something that the other wants. She shouldn’t have done him like that. She normally has good stuff to say.
@@user-ye4bu6xh4cas she should if he doesn’t handle his business it’s his choice to leave knowing they have a kid so he has to accept the consequences over putting his dik first
I cant speak for the brotha asking the question but if you're married (contractually obligated to one person) and your partner isn't addressing your needs first a discussion needs to take place..Then a decision needs to be made..Women are saying it so simply..Leave your wife and child/children..We don't want to do that we lose all the way around..But don't be shocked if your man is growing distant, what is he supposed to do if he's exhausted all other options??Divorces aren't cheap whatsoever..
So, your suggestion is to CHEAT which opens up yourself and your partner to countless diseases, and will ultimately STILL lead to the relationship breakdown if she ever finds out?
If your wife is withholding sex, there could be a plethora of issues. Especially when he said they recently had a baby. These are things that need to be taken into consideration when getting married and having a baby. What if your wife got sick and couldn't have sex, you would still ask to cheat?
@@Zhane-ce7nj That's not what he's saying. A discussion needs to be had if he is "not getting some". That man's unhappiness is going to come out in some way (emotionally distant, substance abuse or other money soaking habits, etc.) if he doesn't have a valid outlet. If that happened to me, I would suspect the wife of cheating.
@Zhane-ce7nj If all aspects of your marriage are where they need to be but that intimacy part (all encompassing) needs to be addressed but it's a one sided conversation..This is worth throwing a whole marriage away?This is a main fundamental difference between men and women..Men can step out and not catch feelings (emotional attachment) women "claim" they can but normally there's an attachment of some sort which is why it's much worse when she cheats versus him cheating..Not condoning this behavior but understanding it..Disease is a factor so is unwanted pregnancy..Ladies you would really want your man to leave a long term relationship say 10+ years for something you're not giving him or does something in the subliminal say "hmmm I haven't given him some in quite awhile, maybe I should to keep others off of him?" Real Question..🤔
step IN to the relationship -maybe the lady is exhausted after having the baby-maybe she got post partum depression-maybe, maybe, maybe.........STEP IN and find out why.
he's been thinking long and hard about 'his' problem -even went to a seminar to figure it out!!!-he should take even half that amount effort to sort out whats going on with his wife......
😂 I dated a dude who had poor hygiene and that's y I ended it. It didn't start out that way for he showered daily...then it happened..slowly this ninjah wasn't taking baths and expected intimacy. Niggah he'll nah😂. That's disgusting. It's like telling a dirty stank kid to go bathe. Needless to say, I bounced. We definitely weren't s*xjng anymore. Didn't worry abt him cheating. If he did, she was as nasty as him, because y? Lol...I said all that to say, maybe her husband has a hygienic issue or maybe she's having health issues, etc. Thus fella ain't telling the whole story😅
It sucks to see people calling an exhausted person "withholding sex." It takes 2 to make the family, it takes 2 to manage ALL aspects of sustaining the family. Communication is the responsibility of both partners.
I’ve personally met a couple ladies that told me that I can have someone on the side if my need to get my “fill” just don’t fall in love or get them pregnant. Always sounds like a trap to me, but one broke it down like this, she has a demanding job and doesn’t want me to feel neglected 🤷🏾♂️
Why do whoever is withholding sex minimize that fact while propping up morals, vows, integrity etc. sometimes it’s more complicated than just leaving- I think that if a man or woman can say that they have a good partner- if that partner ends up cheating you have to take partial blame… you can’t withhold sex and then talk about integrity, vows etc. because you are aware of them as well and if they were so important- you wouldn’t be withholding sex. This is immature. 4x in a year- I’m cheating- it’s that simple
Your morals and integrity don't change with the actions of other people otherwise they aren't really your morals or integrity. You could simply just end the relationship, but you all won't do that because of the huge amount of benefits minus the sex in this case that your relationship provides you.
Men need to understand that you will NOT get 100% of what you want. You can go find someone that gives sex, but they may not cook or clean. You can get someone that cooks, cleans and gives sex but she might be 300 lbs. You can find someone who is petite, cooks, cleans and gives sex but she might have a nasty attitude. Choose Wisely.
@@Zhane-ce7nj or maybe it’s not easy to leave because when you’re married you have notarized paperwork that’s binds you two together by law, and the cost of that to be undone could very difficult to recover from. Alimony, child support, and not to mention you have to take care of yourself regardless of what’s going on in your life. This is what we don’t talk about tho, how men usually lose everything when it comes to these things and women having zero consideration of a man’s need to have sex. It’s easy to say “don’t cheat” when you’re not negatively affected by the woman’s lack of desire to have sex but will still require a man to be there for them to fulfill their needs, which is why men ain’t tryna marry anymore or they go overseas where the marriage laws don’t ruin their lives.
@adrianingram9588 So much truth here..14+ hours with no one sided reasoning is wonderful..Most good men will absolutely address this before doing anything..So we're are past the point of just talking or simply just leave..
The reason he doesn't leave is because she's doing everything else right. What he's not saying is the problems he is contributing. The fact he's even thinking about cheating makes the problems worse. Basically asking permission to enjoy another woman and destroy his family is wild. There's too many resources and counseling if you really love this person and don't want her hurt. Maybe he thinks he's meeting her needs. His Needs Her Needs got to both be met. Please don't believe the headline cause he would have been left or cheated if it was only four times in two years.
@@Alarik52 When did he state the child wasn't or if he had doubt? That should've been determined two years ago. What does that have to do with him wanting to cheat? Your statement is off.
There are two sides to every story. I can honestly say, when I was in a relationship my guy lost his job and he was just coasting & blaming "The Man." My desire towards him was fleeting. Perhaps he was going through mild depression or just trying to figure life out. But I wasn't feeling amorous towards him at all, which means there was no sex. I've pushed through job loss, workplace ish, and a stressful work environment (Corrections) cause I still had financial obligations to satisfy, never had time to blame anyone but myself for things not working out.
Y’all aren’t looking at this from his perspective. He’s asking to step out because his needs aren’t being met, but he cares about this woman enough to not want to leave her. The “talk to her” responses in the comments are also invalid because do you really think he hasn’t voiced his opinion on this subject? This is a rising issue in our country and women continue to overlook and minimize the issue just like these ladies did. Men’s issues are our own, and if we can’t figure them out alone, we’re fucked.
So, the woman got herself pregnant? Is he the only person that can't have sex or be intimate? He should have thought about it before he got her pregnant and she had to deal with growing another human and all the other changes for almost 1 yr. Hella selfish
Simply just want the benefit of being in a relationship while acting single. If you’re content and u love the person you’re with you wouldn’t want to step out. You want to step out because that person is no longer enough or they aren’t satisfying you as much as they should to keep the relationship stable. If he talked to her and it’s not going no where, leave.
What was missed or not acknowledged by the panel (based on this clip) is the young man first stating he and his lady had a baby. If this occurred in 1 1/2-2 year timeline referenced, then several life-altering factors may have contributed to the lack of intimacy - postpartum depression, hormonal changes, insecurity due to physical appearance, lack of self-care (physical, emotional, mental, etc.), decrease in adult interaction/social activities, and if there additional children within the home vying for her attention and she’s wearied. In this space and season, intimacy and the need for it may look and feel different for her. I would have posed three questions as a challenge: 1). Have you inquired why she is not engaging in the act of sex and listened to her response? 2). How have you been present (physically and emotionally) during this transition? 3). Have you identified the root cause of your own frustration and articulated to her how this is making you feel? (ex. I miss you. It was us before the baby and I want to strengthen our bond. I want to reconnect you one-on-one mind, body and spirit.) The factors posed are not exhaustive because there are so many others to consider; however, asking the questions and engaging in meaningful conversation can shift his focus “back home”, which will prove beneficial to both. Gained insight, open communication, mutual understanding, and present support can help the couple establish a plan (i.e. daily/weekly checkins, monthly date nights, etc.) and navigate their personal needs while meeting the others.
It’s not cheating tho.. if I’m understanding correctly, ASKIN your partner to step outside of your relationship wouldn’t be cheating (assuming they agree to it). Of course, if they say no then it’s cheating which I’m pretty sure will usually be the answer. But my question is do people think asking would automatically classify him as a cheater in the sense of “if you think about it then you’d actually pursue it” kinda thing?
Are you serious with that question after taking a vow that you would not cheat? That's what's wrong with cheaters. Y'all can catch visits at the hospital 🏥 for treatments if you want to step out of marriage.
@@vivisnotes he never said they were married… not saying it’s a major difference but there’s no actual vow when just dating, not a spoken one at least. & even if there is, he’s literally asking for your approval (not saying it makes the situation okay, that’s why I asked the question). How would it be cheating if he never actually did it? Example is: person thinks about stealing but decides against it. That person isn’t a thief.. it’s kinda vague comparison but you know what I’m getting at
If you're dating a FULLY FUNCTIONAL adult you would expect that they would know that withholding sex, affection, attention etc for long periods of time causes issues. We are we forcing people to battle against the morality and natural needs when you signed up to provide the needs....."exclusively." Now if there is a medical reason etc. why wait for them to bring it up. A discussion needs to happen, the longer you drag it out eventually a decision will get made. If you don't respect the person then leave.
I think they need to have a conversation as to what’s going on to why they’ve only had sex 5 or 6 times. Maybe she’s dealing with something and then go from there. If she’s just withholding it without a reason then he needs to decide if that’s someone’s he’s willing to deal with.
It's never ok to step outside of your relationship. However if that's a high priority on your list then just leave the relationship. Has he talked to her about it?? Has he expressed how he is feeling to her?? Maybe she gained weight and doesn't feel attractive anymore. Or maybe she is going through postpartum. I would say get to the root cause of the issue before making any decisions. But definitely DO NOT step outside of the relationship. If you feel it has gotten to that point then sit her down and tell her you are moving on from the relationship but you will be committed to co-parenting with her. Stepping outside of the relationship under these circumstances is the worst thing you could do to that woman.
If either sex or paying bills consistently is a NEED for you and your partner is not WILLING to meet that need AFTER CONVERSING and attempting to compromise then it's probably best that you separate. Period! 1. They're likely not married (no mention of wife) and 2. What kind of love, respect and consideration (i.e. relationship) allows NEEDS to go unmet??
I know Im late, but Its never ok to strp outside of your marriage. If a woman stops having sex that is clearly a sign something is wrong. If there is real love in the marriage, the man needs to help her in any way she needs whether is a medical issue or lack of desire, there are ways to help. After having children a woman's body is NEVER THE SAME after that. And sometimes after giving birth the medical issues can last a lifetime. Men need to understand that and try to help emotionally and physically. Now, to the next question: What if he only pays the bills a handful of times, can she leave? A woman has an obligation to hold her husband down in and out if season. If that means she gets a job or downsize the house, you help your man build his confidence and work ethic. Maybe seek counseling to help. Now, if someone cheats IN A MARRIAGE, you have a right to divorce. But honesty, when you are not married, just having kids there is no commitment to stay so anyone at free will can decide to leave just over spilled milk. I've been married for 7 years, my husband went through depression, stopped working at one point and stepped out the marriage and I had decided to fight for our marriage to show my children someone is trying. But at some point, if you see the other partner not willing to help you feel secure in the marriage or not fighting like you are, I say its time to go 💯 ✌🏼
One thing I’ll say is a lot of women show you one thing before marriage and then flip the script afterwards and essentially castrate the man. Let’s say he tries to talk to her about the situation and she repeatedly tells him off or just says she’s no longer attracted to him. What is he supposed to do then? If he says I want a divorce he’s most likely going to lose in court and have to pay alimony & child’s support. If he cheats and she finds out it’s the same result. So everyone saying he just needs to talk to her needs to realize it’s not always that easy, women are typically better manipulators than men. They have the most power and upside in marriages. And for those who say “pick your spouse wisely” note that you could’ve just been dating someone’s representative for 2-4 years if they’re a good actor/actress. Again for the moral police out there, I’m aware it can go for both parties but, I say more times that not it’s the women who are more in control. Men have the power up until marriage. After marriage women gain the power, hence why marriage is dying. The rules aren’t fair to men post marriage. After the ring a lot of women feel like they’ve “trapped” their partner and now they can do what they please if their partner agrees or not. If they love their partner they’ll usually hold em down but, if the love fades then it doesn’t matter. They’re taken care of financially and that’s all that really matters. My pops used to tell me all the time growing up “As long as I take care of you financially by putting a roof over your head and food in your stomach I don’t have to love you. If I do that’s just a plus”.
Dang, I'm learning so much from these comments. My original take on this was NO WAY ITS OK TO CHEAT! As someone whos partner hasn't put out in years, I felt like I could speak on the matter. But now, all these people saying if your girl don't put out, DO IT. Well now I'm rethinking my whole stance! If a man can do it to his celibate wife, I should do it to my celibate husband.
Three things on this, theres the general understanding that if the guy steps out, he can still love his lady, but when a lady steps out, theres no love for the guy. Secondly, Sex is normally a higher relational priority, which has cascading effects. Lastly, if your effected just a man normally would be in the flip of this situation, its time for the last talk, open things up, or start the process of separation. Live your one life greatly.
I would say this to you, bring forced to stay celibate when you crave sexual intimacy is ABSOLUTELY grounds for divorce. However, this need MUST have been discussed numerous times before that decision. If your husband rejects you even after talking about this and you have both tried therapy...you deserve to leave and find someone who wants you
A lot of folks are not being honest. But keep it a buck, has he actually talked to her about how this is problematic for you? And y’all gotta stop pretending that being constantly rejected by your partner is not gonna have an affect that pushes someone to seek comfort of some sort outside your relationship. Might not be sex, some may find some friendship sufficient or therapy, but you are creating that vulnerability for cheating nevertheless.
Apparently, he wants to keep her for some reason. He should troubleshoot. Is he getting her pregnant every year? Is she 'vibrating' on her own? Does she have fibroids or polyps? Does she give oral? Does SHE have someone else? Looks like he needs to try to get to the bottom of it if he wants to keep her.
I can be honest here and help some ppl out I drop the ball on this one 🤦🏾 it's never ok if you're a good man you'll never get past not only possibly hurting your partner if they truly love you no matter if they agree to let you it still hurts them but the hurt you cause yourself because you kno thats not who you are a real man will feels the pain of letting himself down 🤷🏾♂️ talk with your partner postpartum is serious and some ppl don't kno or wasn't taught to communicate your feelings and thoughts in a healthy way also make sure you and your partner bond Is more than jus physical because if it isn't thats all that'll matter to you 🤷🏾♂️ I hope this helps someone my partner and I didn't have a support system not a healthy one anyway stay blessed everyone ✌🏾🖤💛
She cheated- The world: He wasn't treating her right, or he wasn't fulfilling her needs. He did something wrong. She deserves to be happy He cheated- The world: No good low down dirty DOG Idc the reason, & idc the solution. But can we have the same standard across the board is all I ask
So all the women are saying he should tough it out or leave all together but y’all know the chick is gonna run to child support because he left. That’s a cold a$$ game.
This is the number 1 battle between men and women. Men need it, and women are the access to it. Men hate women for veing the gatekeepers to it, women hate men for prioritizing it over their well being. I have no suggestions for either side. Just stating the facts.
Idk how men could break this shit down any simpler than that....sex industry and monetizing women's sexuality n freedom n men paying for such services all stem from men NEEDING sex. it's just men's nature
You always have a chance to leave and hold on to your integrity. The last man said if you don’t pay bills you don’t expect her to leave. That’s the point if it’s something you don’t like leave and hold on you your integrity
Women like the lady on the panel will minimize sex to justify withholding it, but then will blow up if you seek it elsewhere. If its not a big deal, why get made if he gets his physical needs met somewhere else, especially if he's doing everything else right and there are no feelings for the other woman. You can't have it both ways, ladies. Either sex is an important aspect to the relationship for you or it isn't.
Most women knows that men need and desires sex. The real question ❓❓ Do men knows what the woman needs? This community needs to get educated to keep relationships healthy. There's more needs to be met on both sides before sex takes place which makes it even better.❤
Sometimes people men/women don't fully understand what can happen. Maybe post partum depression, Perimenopause, Menopause, Depression. These are some of the things that can cause loss of Libido, etc. She may not have wanted to stop engaging with her partner
Let's make it deeper. If she was in a car accident & was no longer able to performed sexual acts. Does that mean you have the right to cheat? What is the point of marriage vows if you only mean for better & not worse?
He has the right to leave and seek a relationship that fulfills his needs. It’s not ok cheat ever. Just be honest. This is valid concern and honestly it’s abusive to him. Sex is a basic human need right next to water, food and breathing on Maslow’s chart. So let’s not minimize that. I found the woman’s response very dismissive…TBH…just my opinion…🤷🏾♀️
I love how he switched that up on her. Women like to minimize men’s needs all the time and expect them to be their best no matter how poorly they’re performing. If he asks her for permission, especially if she is showing interest, that’s a good man right there. He shouldn’t have to suffer in silence.
Sir, paying bills is not the same as sex. If you don't work, you don't have a place to live. No money equals no food and no housing. You're not going to die from not having sex
I've told women, if we are not having sex. Then why am I here? There is nothing about a women's personality that is so great that makes it worth sticking around without sex.
Cheating is never okay,ever. It is disrespectful to you,your partner,any children involved. Plus it opens everyone up to STD and STI, unplanned pregnancy,rage, jealousy,etc. You need to commit with your partner.
If your wife is not performing or can not perform her duties, a man is allowed to find another woman to perform those duties as long as he provides completely for both households. This is known as taking a second wife. If a man merely sleeps with another woman, without providing, AND returns to his wife, that is adultery.
@@natural4lyfe40 you are absolutely correct, if a man cannot provide a woman is perfectly able to go to another man and earn a wage. 99% of women already get money from a man that isn't their husband. Either that or Jeff Bezos has about 2,000 wives. But if you speak of intimacy, a woman is not allowed to sleep with another man, that's adultery and unnecessary. Most women take care of those "needs" themselves anyway with batteries and a woman cannot allow another man access to where her babies come from, as she isn't the provider and cannot serve two masters.
Step out, he barely stepped in. Ain't no way she is denying him and being faithful to him. If she ain't dead, severely disabled, or in a coma she has no excuse
Some women experience mental & physical issues related to child birth that maybe having affective communication could offer an explanation or give understanding to what she’s dealing with versus looking for answers outside your marriage that could lead to a more permanent breakdown in your relationship.
Here’s the thing man don’t understand how tiring it truly is to take care of a toddler and to be the kind of woman that they want as in cooking cleaning, etc. and if that woman also is holding a job as well as taking care of a baby she’s exhausted! Very few times to men understand the mental exhaustion of a woman with a lot on her plate and sex is the last thing on your mind. In short it’s NEVER OK TO BETRAY THE TRUST OF YOUR PARTNER! if your needs are not being met please just exit the relationship
I've noticed something. Most of the time when a man complains that he does not get any. Notice how he is really skinny or fat. I don't remember seeing fit men complaining that they don't get any.
He asked "would you expect her to stay? If he payed bills randomly" as if the man in the audience said he wanted a divorce. That man in the audience is free to divorce if he is unhappy just like the next person but it is never ok to cheat. NEVER. Also it is the womaans "job" to multiply not be a sex slave. If she has had his children and shes taking care of home this does not give him the license to cheat. Nothing Does! Both however to go their seperate ways and never get back together again.
Sounds like he needs to have a conversation a real conversation with his lady. Shidddd you're not getting any anyway. If it goes left at least you know you're losing less than you thought.
So my question would be, why is ok for a woman to cheat on her man when he isnt "providing emotional connection", yet women will create all manners of excuses to justify said behaviour?
April 15th is the ideal time to turn in one's completed income tax... When is the right time to step outside one's relationship 🤔 is a question that can only be answered by 2 people: Oneself and anyone whose ever contracted AIDS, GONORRHEA, SYPHILIS, STD, HIV, or has ever appeared on the Maury P show!
Maybe if you aren’t competent enough to communicate with your partner as to WHY y’all ain’t intimate you not a good partner. Period. You should know or learn HOW to get YOUR lady in the mood.
I think they should 1st both speak to not only a couples therapsits but one that specializes in sex therapy. As long as its not a medical reason why she isnt having sex then there should be a conversation and get to the root of the issue. You dont just jump to cheating without putting in the work. If you do everything you can fix the issue and it still doesnt work then you need to talk about parting ways because sex is s deal breaker. But to stay and cheat is a no.
It's NEVER okay to cheat. Period. But it is ALWAYS okay to leave a relationship if you feel like your needs and desires aren't being fulfilled, you've communicated that to your partner, and they have neither the capacity or desire to fulfill them.
Try telling clowns who want to come to Jay Z's aid and say "so what! His cheating was in the past!" Man took a vow in front of closest family members and friends in a union and was unfaithful to Beyonce to the point her sister wanted to whoop his nass in the elevator.
Bro waited too long
Exactly! What you’ve described is the mature and right thing to do!
You can’t say never…. Circumstances matter.
Why is it never ok to cheat? Why do you take it personally?
The ladies ain't ready to be honest. Instant deflection.
That dudes' real issue is that he should never have committed to the woman that is holding back. An early, open and honest conversation about expectations, desires and needs could have gave both individuals valuable insight on who and what they are dealing with.
She could’ve switched up after the baby though.
That's the thing. Women will never understand no matter how you explain it.
They use words and expressions that have no meaning in the conversations such as integrity or morality. People who are able to murder unborn human beings SHOULDN'T be using these words
@@omarimack194you make it seem like women intentionally switch up. Pregnancy destroys women. Especially when they have partners that do not contribute. Women are exhausted and burnt out. Not to mention that pregnancy can literally destroy your hormones and libido. I can take a while to recover. Men need to understand this and assess whether or not having children is worth the risk to their relationship.
Have a real conversation about the lack of sex, and if you can't fix it, then terminate the relationship.
@@ineedhoez A while is understandable. YEARS are questionable. At that point, it’s usually a choice.
Btw, working to provide for a family is no picnic either. 😒
Exactly, we don’t need three minutes to grasp this…
All jokes aside....my friend went through this....his wife refused therapy...and now they're divorced....come to find out...she was having an affair with her ex....🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thats all it is !....his woman is giving it up to someone else !....women love sex just as much as men do and AINT NO WAY she is gonna go that long without ANY intimacy !
@@colinc5531 I concur 🙏🏼🙏🏼
@@colinc5531
Unless she is in her state of "celibate"
His wife is fawking another man!!! I guarantee it!
She is gonna be judged hardcore by the most High if she dont repent and acknowledgeher faults. Even if she repent she has to collect for her sins..Idolatry and Adultery is nothing sweet.
If you're gonna step outside of the relationship do it all the way and end it. Why stay?
There are some benefits that he receives outside of the lack of sex that he still wants. Someone who cooks, cleans, and helps pay some of the bills.
Could be children involved, or vows as he may be married.
@@synakareeves4464 The vows mention faithfulness and for better or for worse...
And when he steps out, that’s the for worse part. Whatever one not willing to do, another will. Unfortunately.
He probably thinks the child is his, but hasn't had a dna test.
He's being used.
He started off with the “you know. Y’all have a baby”
So basically you with her and she’s with you because y’all created a child together. But you don’t want her enough and she doesn’t want you enough.
If sex happened 5 times in a year, there’s way more to the story. When asking for advice, I’ve learned you have to give all the details if you want the right wisdom shared back with you.
Odds are, it's not his kid. The real baby daddy is being serviced. This man is just the house husband.
If a woman withholds sex for any reason other than medical or abuse from the man, then the truth is that she is NOT GENUINELY attracted to him sexually and uses sex to manipulate him.
People don't prohibit themselves from that which they get pleasure unless they have to. If a woman genuinely enjoys sex with a man, she ain't gonna withhold sex from him unless she has to (medical or abuse).
If she just had a baby, her body has gone through changes, make her feel wanted again. Pour into her. Love her and your new baby.
Men find it easier to look for a new women to sleep with rather than work on the relationship they are currently in. Never understood it
@@Alarik52that's deep lol
they had sex more than 5 times in a year.... let's be real.... maybe she got out of shape, or something it is deeper than that.
We have to ask real questions. What has changed since the addition of the child to the relationship? Do you still go on as many dates/outings, or have as much quality time as you did at the beginning of the relationship when sex was more abundant? How much of the parenting are you doing? How much of the housework are you doing? Does she also work outside of the home, AND still has to take on the majority of the housework and childcare? When is the last time that your partner had an orgasm? Is there intimacy throughout the day, and not just at night? Has your partner been negatively mentally affected by giving birth? (Post Partum Depression is real). And any other question that you can think of from your or her perspective. If after having a genuine conversation the answers don't look too good then you evaluate wheter or not you want to salvage your relationship. If you actually want to keep it then cheating will destroy it, and so you should come together as partners to find a solution. If you don't want to keep it then LEAVE. You only get a few decades on this rock no one should be forced to spend it unhappy. Take care of your kid, and go live your life.
Exactly. If you have to go ask a panel of people when can you cheat, you and your partner aren't having meaningful conversations. Maybe go to therapy to have a mediator. Me n my partner did.
Perfectly said.
Beautifully said ❤
So, Randi a panel member posted that she spoke to the couple (the woman was in attendance when he asked this 🫨), and she basically said that the woman was tired of doing all of the housework AND childcare alone. Just a sad situation all around. He should be ashamed of himself.
@@user-ye4bu6xh4cif she JUST had a baby a d doing ALL of the housework, child care and possibly 9to5.... SHE'S stressed and tired. PPD is real and fatigue is real. Some men are literally insensitive about these situations and the changes a woman's body goes thru. I do agree conversations need to be met, but also some empathy! If he doesn't pull his weight in the home, then he basically found the cause of his own problem...HIM! We women don't just get riled up at the drop of a dime, we like affection throughout the day and it doesn't have to be sexual, but helping throughout the day, making things less stressful for us, hell take care of the kids THOROUGHLY without asking us for help with shxt and let us relax, THOSE things will get you reversed cowgirled mkay!😌
As a husband in the same predicament, I’m sure the guy has already tallied her about it and nothings changed. That’s why he asking the panel.
Leave.
Many times it is difficult for partners to communicate candidly about needs and desires. As a result, it can leave one or the other feeling disconnected, rejected, and alone for considerable lengths of time and potentially seeking support elsewhere. The issue here is the inability to effectively communicate and work through obstacles.
Good point I agree
Yes. Not only that but the way you say things also. If one person is pushing blame on either side nobody will take responsibility thus taking offense and becoming defensive. It really takes some empathy kindness and compassion on both sides to see a different perspective.
The example about paying bills is light years away from the same thing. Getting a job to help your husband support a house hold is different than I just had a baby and whatever came with that situation. They aren’t the same thing. Like someone else said tho this is why you need to have all the details because if she had any complications or bleeding, c-section, issues with breast feeding, vaginal pain from rips or tears, even physiological postpartum syndrome, or even if it’s her first child and she hasn’t figured out how to manage to juggle everything yet, there needs to be better communication on both ends. He may not know what she needs but he cannot know if doesn’t say anything and vice versa.
This is very true definitely a difficult tooic
She deflected THE F outta dude question. Capped it off with a dig at his character...!
She out bad!
She does that
@minapane she need to hop off stage.
If she's not giving to him, she's giving it to someone else... But somebody getting it.🤣🤣🤣
Absolutely true
I think you have to address the issue in a direct manner. Unless you're dating someone that is really selfish, they have to know that they are not fulfilling your needs. Have discussions about what you're missing and eventually the partner will let you know whether they think things should end or if they want to keep things going and you doing your thing on the side. If that isn't addressed, then end it yourself, because they aren't considerate of your desires.
I don't have a dog in this fight, but I can relate.
My last relationship was with a woman who just was not into physical affection... at least, with me. After talking to her about it, watching her interact with her immediate family, noticing that even after months of not being together, those people did not embrace one another, I was able to conclude that she was just NOT affectionate. After apologizing to her for (I believe) making her feel bad about it over the course of two very difficult years, I ended the relationship. She had a lot of trouble with the fact that I paid attention to her literally taking two steps back when I reached for her, versus her telling me, "But I do want you to touch me." #actions
How dare she make it about his integrity and not her being trifling! Men don't just want sex, they need it (I'm speaking within the confines of marriage). I bet she was giving unlimited sex before marriage and how you start is what it takes to maintain the bond. I don't like how his question was minimized by Kitty Rose.
Because there’s always an option to leave how dare we over look that
Ok but did you dismiss the parts like how they had a baby and he wanted to step outside of the relationship instead of ending it??
Leave her!
It still doesn’t compare to …soul ties, disease, emotional /physical connection, secrets, amongst a lot of other things. Smh. No comparison Ace.
Could hear a cricket fart when he flipped that question tho
He’s always pandering to women. He’ll find a way; I promise you.
I’m with both of them on this 😂😂😂
It's never okay to step out, but it's never okay to let your man go without having what satisfies him either. To throw not paying bills in the mix got me thinking that we don't want one another if we don't put out...money or sex. Both are energy exchanges, but in a relationship should not ve exchanged for the other, but sex is a beautiful and powerful exchange.
But women are hypergamy by nature if a man loses his job or ability to provide a woman is gonna step out so if a woman is not giving his man pleasure and he is letting you know then don't be surprised when he steps out. Can't be one sided all the time women need to be accountable also not saying it's right but it's not right for women not to hold their man down when he loses everything but was providing for you before hand
Cheating should not be an option. Communication is the key to determine why your partner not interested in having sex. Maybe the other partner not showing her the attention , emotionally, mentally attraction .
Cheating will always be an option as you partner can decide for any reason they don’t want to be intimate and their body their choice, if you want to step outside of a relationship it’s also your choice. Until you are married you are still single anyway
After 2 years there was communication at some point. Don't be naive
Sex is a form of communication in a relationship. She's not talking to him.
Do you think the child is his?
@@Alarik52 could be, sex could have stopped after the child.
Don't be naive. Women are not sexual beings and merely trade sex for resources from men.
What does commitment really look like? Do they know? She had 'your' baby. Let's have a conversation & get to the why b4 you step out on your commitment.
How about you try to understand the guys perspective and stop automatically defending a woman.
If I paid bills 4 months out of 2 years are you staying
And once we figure out the why let’s work on a solution and stop telling men to simply “deal with it”. Often times the problem is brought up but women don’t want to do the work to get back to or close to where the intimacy was prior. And plenty of men just sit there and let it be a joke he can about with the boys. “Oh man me and my old lady ain’t had action in months”. 🤦🏾♂️
@@paulekezie465complete silence when he asked that ,even the dark female who always got something to say was on hush
@@paulekezie465 Uhm sir, if I had a problem with this, I would leave. Would you be okay with your girl asking another man (that she wanted to screw) to pay yalls bills because you couldn't? Bottomline, he was disrespectful for asking this question for the world to see him disrespect his girl, instead of asking a therapist who can actually help them. I only saw this clip, but if she recently had their baby, the body and the mind definitely need time to heal. Why hurt someone this way because you want kewchie on the side, and why put another woman in that position as well. He's just selfish and disrespectful....like, just walk away sir🤣
He can also just leave her instead of trying to cheat
That's exactly what you should do if you're not happy in that relationship if you're going to cheat don't be with her if you're not in it to the end going through the ups and downs with her and you got to cheat you should get out of it and let somebody else in that's ready to ride the
Most men do not think that way. If that is his child, he knows there is a solid level of commitment there, whether they are married or NOT. Its not only thr relationship at stake. Most men have always taken these steps, rarely do ppl just cheat over night, for no real reason. What U suggest is typical todays modern day females way of thinking. Quick to abandon everything at the drop of a dime, despite all the bad things that comes along w/it, including not even considering the innocent new born child that didnt ask to come into Ur world...
They just had a dang baby so puss that important to say fk your kid having a decent home
@@Thunderbult3000false they obviously do think that way smh a solid level of commitment wouldn’t be cheating or leaving cause of a temporary change
@@Thunderbult3000😂 yall hate modern and are very modern yourselves
It's never ok to cheat, period but it is ok to have that conversation with your partner about the situation.
If her sex drive is just no longer their and she is ok with you getting it from somewhere else cool but if she isn't then you need to figure out how important sex is to you and weather it's worth leaving the relationship or staying and working through it.
Also, sex is never just sex......remember that when the conversation happens
lol most of the time she’s cheating. Most women aren’t sitting around here for years not desiring sex 😂 She just doesn’t find dude attractive. Look at him.
They got quiet and that last question.
I despise when women disregard the importance of physical intimacy when it behooves them, 5 or 6 times in a 2yr span is absolutely wild and beyond inconsiderate to your partner. That being said homeboy should talk to his girl about the reasoning for the drop-off but damn talk about lack of empathy.
Are we really equating sex to paying bills. Like having sex is transaction. Maybe try having a conversation with your partner, about 'why they arent in the mood? and how your needs are being met.'
Most relationships are transactional now it’s sad
😤I’m saying… paying a bill is not a potential violation to your body. Unless men have to bend over and consent to these utilities being taken directly out of their poop shoots, it’s a dead comparison.
Exactly that's like comparing oranges to watermelon. We don't have to do either one but one has financial risks that impacts your way of living.
Yes you goofy bird....we are. It never ceases to amaze how Women will run their mouths all day about what they will and won't except, and what their "standards" are, yet Men are supposed to deal with whatever fsck-sh1t you got in store for him and love you for it. Nah. That isn't how this game is played.
@@rainbeauxunicorn5237 LOLz whut ? Who in the hell is talking about violating someone else's body. Cut the goal post moving, gaslighting nonsense and just admit you know that there is a double standard and you endorse it. FOH.
Just leave why people step out ? Then ask when is it okay ? What?
We don't want to leave because we genuinely love you. It's insane that woman will deny a man his needs and desires and think it's acceptable. So here's what we men gonna do since you banned love making, we're gonna go cheat with a female coworker named Vanessa until you get your act together I know how it sounds but the end of the day we coming back to you baby we just need to "release" we don't love Vanessa she's only for recreational activities. Y'all are our main squeeze. 💯
If the dude is asking the question, I would imagine that he has had this conversation with the mother of his child. Probably the reason why he got the five time that he did get. To tell someone that they are stepping out of their integrity is a bit premature and rude. They have swingers, cockholds, etc… If he is able to have a real conversation with his partner and they come up with a plan, who is to say?
This situation could include if someone goes to prison, becomes sick, becomes injured. Leaving doesn’t always have to be the answer and the partner may be willing to take into consideration their inability and the fact that it is something that the other wants. She shouldn’t have done him like that. She normally has good stuff to say.
Just go your separate ways..you don't have to cheat..be single and get all the kitty you want 🤷🏾♀️
@@user-ye4bu6xh4c If she finds out he cheated the relationship will be over, AND he will still be getting drilled in child support.
Why is cheating bad to you?
@@user-ye4bu6xh4cas she should if he doesn’t handle his business it’s his choice to leave knowing they have a kid so he has to accept the consequences over putting his dik first
@@gns4838if it was good it wouldn’t be labeled cheating matter fact if it’s not bad your girl should be able to do the same
I cant speak for the brotha asking the question but if you're married (contractually obligated to one person) and your partner isn't addressing your needs first a discussion needs to take place..Then a decision needs to be made..Women are saying it so simply..Leave your wife and child/children..We don't want to do that we lose all the way around..But don't be shocked if your man is growing distant, what is he supposed to do if he's exhausted all other options??Divorces aren't cheap whatsoever..
So, your suggestion is to CHEAT which opens up yourself and your partner to countless diseases, and will ultimately STILL lead to the relationship breakdown if she ever finds out?
If your wife is withholding sex, there could be a plethora of issues. Especially when he said they recently had a baby. These are things that need to be taken into consideration when getting married and having a baby. What if your wife got sick and couldn't have sex, you would still ask to cheat?
@@Zhane-ce7nj That's not what he's saying. A discussion needs to be had if he is "not getting some". That man's unhappiness is going to come out in some way (emotionally distant, substance abuse or other money soaking habits, etc.) if he doesn't have a valid outlet. If that happened to me, I would suspect the wife of cheating.
@@Zhane-ce7njif they aren't having sex then how would she get a disease?
@Zhane-ce7nj If all aspects of your marriage are where they need to be but that intimacy part (all encompassing) needs to be addressed but it's a one sided conversation..This is worth throwing a whole marriage away?This is a main fundamental difference between men and women..Men can step out and not catch feelings (emotional attachment) women "claim" they can but normally there's an attachment of some sort which is why it's much worse when she cheats versus him cheating..Not condoning this behavior but understanding it..Disease is a factor so is unwanted pregnancy..Ladies you would really want your man to leave a long term relationship say 10+ years for something you're not giving him or does something in the subliminal say "hmmm I haven't given him some in quite awhile, maybe I should to keep others off of him?" Real Question..🤔
step IN to the relationship -maybe the lady is exhausted after having the baby-maybe she got post partum depression-maybe, maybe, maybe.........STEP IN and find out why.
he's been thinking long and hard about 'his' problem -even went to a seminar to figure it out!!!-he should take even half that amount effort to sort out whats going on with his wife......
That’s BS. Handful of time in 2 years. Women in a marriage or relationship need to stop actually like they the only one that raises the kids.
😂 I dated a dude who had poor hygiene and that's y I ended it. It didn't start out that way for he showered daily...then it happened..slowly this ninjah wasn't taking baths and expected intimacy. Niggah he'll nah😂. That's disgusting. It's like telling a dirty stank kid to go bathe. Needless to say, I bounced. We definitely weren't s*xjng anymore. Didn't worry abt him cheating. If he did, she was as nasty as him, because y? Lol...I said all that to say, maybe her husband has a hygienic issue or maybe she's having health issues, etc. Thus fella ain't telling the whole story😅
they are.@@MtCarmel2006
It sucks to see people calling an exhausted person "withholding sex." It takes 2 to make the family, it takes 2 to manage ALL aspects of sustaining the family. Communication is the responsibility of both partners.
She really be thinking she's in her bag whenever she talks 😂
The ONE TIME Ace made a valid point
I’ve personally met a couple ladies that told me that I can have someone on the side if my need to get my “fill” just don’t fall in love or get them pregnant. Always sounds like a trap to me, but one broke it down like this, she has a demanding job and doesn’t want me to feel neglected 🤷🏾♂️
Why do whoever is withholding sex minimize that fact while propping up morals, vows, integrity etc. sometimes it’s more complicated than just leaving- I think that if a man or woman can say that they have a good partner- if that partner ends up cheating you have to take partial blame… you can’t withhold sex and then talk about integrity, vows etc. because you are aware of them as well and if they were so important- you wouldn’t be withholding sex. This is immature. 4x in a year- I’m cheating- it’s that simple
Your morals and integrity don't change with the actions of other people otherwise they aren't really your morals or integrity. You could simply just end the relationship, but you all won't do that because of the huge amount of benefits minus the sex in this case that your relationship provides you.
Men need to understand that you will NOT get 100% of what you want. You can go find someone that gives sex, but they may not cook or clean. You can get someone that cooks, cleans and gives sex but she might be 300 lbs. You can find someone who is petite, cooks, cleans and gives sex but she might have a nasty attitude.
Choose Wisely.
@@Zhane-ce7nj or maybe it’s not easy to leave because when you’re married you have notarized paperwork that’s binds you two together by law, and the cost of that to be undone could very difficult to recover from. Alimony, child support, and not to mention you have to take care of yourself regardless of what’s going on in your life. This is what we don’t talk about tho, how men usually lose everything when it comes to these things and women having zero consideration of a man’s need to have sex. It’s easy to say “don’t cheat” when you’re not negatively affected by the woman’s lack of desire to have sex but will still require a man to be there for them to fulfill their needs, which is why men ain’t tryna marry anymore or they go overseas where the marriage laws don’t ruin their lives.
@@Zhane-ce7nj A man's testosterone (horniness) will overpower his Integrity and morals. Just like a woman's emotions will overpower her logic.
@adrianingram9588 So much truth here..14+ hours with no one sided reasoning is wonderful..Most good men will absolutely address this before doing anything..So we're are past the point of just talking or simply just leave..
The reason he doesn't leave is because she's doing everything else right. What he's not saying is the problems he is contributing. The fact he's even thinking about cheating makes the problems worse. Basically asking permission to enjoy another woman and destroy his family is wild. There's too many resources and counseling if you really love this person and don't want her hurt. Maybe he thinks he's meeting her needs. His Needs Her Needs got to both be met.
Please don't believe the headline cause he would have been left or cheated if it was only four times in two years.
You don't seem to have entertained the possibility the child isn't his.
@@Alarik52 When did he state the child wasn't or if he had doubt? That should've been determined two years ago. What does that have to do with him wanting to cheat? Your statement is off.
@@Alarik52it wont make a difference, men are supposed to provide as the word says
@natural4lyfe40 yes, challenging common assumptions is wrong carry on
@@Alarik52 ASSumptions is correct
There are two sides to every story. I can honestly say, when I was in a relationship my guy lost his job and he was just coasting & blaming "The Man." My desire towards him was fleeting. Perhaps he was going through mild depression or just trying to figure life out. But I wasn't feeling amorous towards him at all, which means there was no sex. I've pushed through job loss, workplace ish, and a stressful work environment (Corrections) cause I still had financial obligations to satisfy, never had time to blame anyone but myself for things not working out.
Women will always give each other a way out
Y’all aren’t looking at this from his perspective. He’s asking to step out because his needs aren’t being met, but he cares about this woman enough to not want to leave her. The “talk to her” responses in the comments are also invalid because do you really think he hasn’t voiced his opinion on this subject? This is a rising issue in our country and women continue to overlook and minimize the issue just like these ladies did. Men’s issues are our own, and if we can’t figure them out alone, we’re fucked.
So, the woman got herself pregnant? Is he the only person that can't have sex or be intimate?
He should have thought about it before he got her pregnant and she had to deal with growing another human and all the other changes for almost 1 yr. Hella selfish
Simply just want the benefit of being in a relationship while acting single. If you’re content and u love the person you’re with you wouldn’t want to step out. You want to step out because that person is no longer enough or they aren’t satisfying you as much as they should to keep the relationship stable.
If he talked to her and it’s not going no where, leave.
I just can't get over the baby issue.
@@ChipsAddict it’s a common thing now where a woman gets her kids and then completely shuts down on her husband. What is he supposed to do?
@@luccijayr5804 and people would say he’s wrong for leaving the mother of his child. He’s damned if he stays or leaves.
What was missed or not acknowledged by the panel (based on this clip) is the young man first stating he and his lady had a baby.
If this occurred in 1 1/2-2 year timeline referenced, then several life-altering factors may have contributed to the lack of intimacy - postpartum depression, hormonal changes, insecurity due to physical appearance, lack of self-care (physical, emotional, mental, etc.), decrease in adult interaction/social activities, and if there additional children within the home vying for her attention and she’s wearied.
In this space and season, intimacy and the need for it may look and feel different for her. I would have posed three questions as a challenge:
1). Have you inquired why she is not engaging in the act of sex and listened to her response?
2). How have you been present (physically and emotionally) during this transition?
3). Have you identified the root cause of your own frustration and articulated to her how this is making you feel? (ex. I miss you. It was us before the baby and I want to strengthen our bond. I want to reconnect you one-on-one mind, body and spirit.)
The factors posed are not exhaustive because there are so many others to consider; however, asking the questions and engaging in meaningful conversation can shift his focus “back home”, which will prove beneficial to both. Gained insight, open communication, mutual understanding, and present support can help the couple establish a plan (i.e. daily/weekly checkins, monthly date nights, etc.) and navigate their personal needs while meeting the others.
It’s not cheating tho.. if I’m understanding correctly, ASKIN your partner to step outside of your relationship wouldn’t be cheating (assuming they agree to it). Of course, if they say no then it’s cheating which I’m pretty sure will usually be the answer. But my question is do people think asking would automatically classify him as a cheater in the sense of “if you think about it then you’d actually pursue it” kinda thing?
Asking definitely makes you a cheater. Lol
@@Zhane-ce7nj just the act of asking?
I don't think it's cheating but it's actually worse to have the audacity to even ask.
Are you serious with that question after taking a vow that you would not cheat? That's what's wrong with cheaters. Y'all can catch visits at the hospital 🏥 for treatments if you want to step out of marriage.
@@vivisnotes he never said they were married… not saying it’s a major difference but there’s no actual vow when just dating, not a spoken one at least. & even if there is, he’s literally asking for your approval (not saying it makes the situation okay, that’s why I asked the question). How would it be cheating if he never actually did it? Example is: person thinks about stealing but decides against it. That person isn’t a thief.. it’s kinda vague comparison but you know what I’m getting at
If you're dating a FULLY FUNCTIONAL adult you would expect that they would know that withholding sex, affection, attention etc for long periods of time causes issues. We are we forcing people to battle against the morality and natural needs when you signed up to provide the needs....."exclusively." Now if there is a medical reason etc. why wait for them to bring it up. A discussion needs to happen, the longer you drag it out eventually a decision will get made. If you don't respect the person then leave.
He need to have a discussion with his wife. Not ask a panel on a show
I think they need to have a conversation as to what’s going on to why they’ve only had sex 5 or 6 times. Maybe she’s dealing with something and then go from there. If she’s just withholding it without a reason then he needs to decide if that’s someone’s he’s willing to deal with.
yeah probably dealing with something alright, as in someone else
He wants what he cant have. She doesn't care about what he wants. It is over and done, lets talk about how it got there, and then have closure.....
It's never ok to step outside of your relationship. However if that's a high priority on your list then just leave the relationship.
Has he talked to her about it?? Has he expressed how he is feeling to her??
Maybe she gained weight and doesn't feel attractive anymore. Or maybe she is going through postpartum.
I would say get to the root cause of the issue before making any decisions. But definitely DO NOT step outside of the relationship. If you feel it has gotten to that point then sit her down and tell her you are moving on from the relationship but you will be committed to co-parenting with her.
Stepping outside of the relationship under these circumstances is the worst thing you could do to that woman.
I like how the lady said because she doesn’t have the ability through whatever circumstances, she has the ability she just don’t want to give it up.
If either sex or paying bills consistently is a NEED for you and your partner is not WILLING to meet that need AFTER CONVERSING and attempting to compromise then it's probably best that you separate. Period! 1. They're likely not married (no mention of wife) and 2. What kind of love, respect and consideration (i.e. relationship) allows NEEDS to go unmet??
One of the rare times Kittie was in her feelings
I know Im late, but Its never ok to strp outside of your marriage. If a woman stops having sex that is clearly a sign something is wrong. If there is real love in the marriage, the man needs to help her in any way she needs whether is a medical issue or lack of desire, there are ways to help. After having children a woman's body is NEVER THE SAME after that. And sometimes after giving birth the medical issues can last a lifetime. Men need to understand that and try to help emotionally and physically. Now, to the next question: What if he only pays the bills a handful of times, can she leave? A woman has an obligation to hold her husband down in and out if season. If that means she gets a job or downsize the house, you help your man build his confidence and work ethic. Maybe seek counseling to help. Now, if someone cheats IN A MARRIAGE, you have a right to divorce. But honesty, when you are not married, just having kids there is no commitment to stay so anyone at free will can decide to leave just over spilled milk. I've been married for 7 years, my husband went through depression, stopped working at one point and stepped out the marriage and I had decided to fight for our marriage to show my children someone is trying. But at some point, if you see the other partner not willing to help you feel secure in the marriage or not fighting like you are, I say its time to go 💯 ✌🏼
One thing I’ll say is a lot of women show you one thing before marriage and then flip the script afterwards and essentially castrate the man. Let’s say he tries to talk to her about the situation and she repeatedly tells him off or just says she’s no longer attracted to him. What is he supposed to do then? If he says I want a divorce he’s most likely going to lose in court and have to pay alimony & child’s support. If he cheats and she finds out it’s the same result. So everyone saying he just needs to talk to her needs to realize it’s not always that easy, women are typically better manipulators than men. They have the most power and upside in marriages. And for those who say “pick your spouse wisely” note that you could’ve just been dating someone’s representative for 2-4 years if they’re a good actor/actress. Again for the moral police out there, I’m aware it can go for both parties but, I say more times that not it’s the women who are more in control. Men have the power up until marriage. After marriage women gain the power, hence why marriage is dying. The rules aren’t fair to men post marriage. After the ring a lot of women feel like they’ve “trapped” their partner and now they can do what they please if their partner agrees or not. If they love their partner they’ll usually hold em down but, if the love fades then it doesn’t matter. They’re taken care of financially and that’s all that really matters. My pops used to tell me all the time growing up “As long as I take care of you financially by putting a roof over your head and food in your stomach I don’t have to love you. If I do that’s just a plus”.
Dang, I'm learning so much from these comments. My original take on this was NO WAY ITS OK TO CHEAT! As someone whos partner hasn't put out in years, I felt like I could speak on the matter. But now, all these people saying if your girl don't put out, DO IT. Well now I'm rethinking my whole stance! If a man can do it to his celibate wife, I should do it to my celibate husband.
Three things on this, theres the general understanding that if the guy steps out, he can still love his lady, but when a lady steps out, theres no love for the guy. Secondly, Sex is normally a higher relational priority, which has cascading effects. Lastly, if your effected just a man normally would be in the flip of this situation, its time for the last talk, open things up, or start the process of separation.
Live your one life greatly.
I would say this to you, bring forced to stay celibate when you crave sexual intimacy is ABSOLUTELY grounds for divorce. However, this need MUST have been discussed numerous times before that decision. If your husband rejects you even after talking about this and you have both tried therapy...you deserve to leave and find someone who wants you
Just leave, that's what they said. Not sure how you concluded cheating 🤔
lol I think you’re just trying to justify something you already want to do/have already done.
A lot of folks are not being honest. But keep it a buck, has he actually talked to her about how this is problematic for you? And y’all gotta stop pretending that being constantly rejected by your partner is not gonna have an affect that pushes someone to seek comfort of some sort outside your relationship. Might not be sex, some may find some friendship sufficient or therapy, but you are creating that vulnerability for cheating nevertheless.
Apparently, he wants to keep her for some reason. He should troubleshoot. Is he getting her pregnant every year? Is she 'vibrating' on her own? Does she have fibroids or polyps? Does she give oral? Does SHE have someone else? Looks like he needs to try to get to the bottom of it if he wants to keep her.
I can be honest here and help some ppl out I drop the ball on this one 🤦🏾 it's never ok if you're a good man you'll never get past not only possibly hurting your partner if they truly love you no matter if they agree to let you it still hurts them but the hurt you cause yourself because you kno thats not who you are a real man will feels the pain of letting himself down 🤷🏾♂️ talk with your partner postpartum is serious and some ppl don't kno or wasn't taught to communicate your feelings and thoughts in a healthy way also make sure you and your partner bond Is more than jus physical because if it isn't thats all that'll matter to you 🤷🏾♂️ I hope this helps someone my partner and I didn't have a support system not a healthy one anyway stay blessed everyone ✌🏾🖤💛
Talk to her about it bottom line
In this case, he's entitled to step out.... and she has no right to say anything about it.😊
She cheated-
The world: He wasn't treating her right, or he wasn't fulfilling her needs. He did something wrong. She deserves to be happy
He cheated-
The world: No good low down dirty DOG
Idc the reason, & idc the solution. But can we have the same standard across the board is all I ask
So all the women are saying he should tough it out or leave all together but y’all know the chick is gonna run to child support because he left. That’s a cold a$$ game.
This is the number 1 battle between men and women. Men need it, and women are the access to it. Men hate women for veing the gatekeepers to it, women hate men for prioritizing it over their well being. I have no suggestions for either side. Just stating the facts.
Idk how men could break this shit down any simpler than that....sex industry and monetizing women's sexuality n freedom n men paying for such services all stem from men NEEDING sex. it's just men's nature
Mtf don’t neeed it I haven’t yet to see someone for naturally from not getting it
You always have a chance to leave and hold on to your integrity. The last man said if you don’t pay bills you don’t expect her to leave. That’s the point if it’s something you don’t like leave and hold on you your integrity
Women like the lady on the panel will minimize sex to justify withholding it, but then will blow up if you seek it elsewhere. If its not a big deal, why get made if he gets his physical needs met somewhere else, especially if he's doing everything else right and there are no feelings for the other woman.
You can't have it both ways, ladies. Either sex is an important aspect to the relationship for you or it isn't.
There are these things called DISEASES. Your mindset is why African Americans top the list year after year in STD rates.
Most women knows that men need and desires sex. The real question ❓❓ Do men knows what the woman needs? This community needs to get educated to keep relationships healthy. There's more needs to be met on both sides before sex takes place which makes it even better.❤
Sometimes people men/women don't fully understand what can happen. Maybe post partum depression, Perimenopause, Menopause, Depression. These are some of the things that can cause loss of Libido, etc. She may not have wanted to stop engaging with her partner
Let's make it deeper. If she was in a car accident & was no longer able to performed sexual acts. Does that mean you have the right to cheat? What is the point of marriage vows if you only mean for better & not worse?
He would say that doesn’t mean anything, she can just lay there brain dead while he uses her body. This is who men are.
He has the right to leave and seek a relationship that fulfills his needs. It’s not ok cheat ever. Just be honest. This is valid concern and honestly it’s abusive to him. Sex is a basic human need right next to water, food and breathing on Maslow’s chart. So let’s not minimize that. I found the woman’s response very dismissive…TBH…just my opinion…🤷🏾♀️
I love how he switched that up on her. Women like to minimize men’s needs all the time and expect them to be their best no matter how poorly they’re performing. If he asks her for permission, especially if she is showing interest, that’s a good man right there. He shouldn’t have to suffer in silence.
Sir, paying bills is not the same as sex. If you don't work, you don't have a place to live. No money equals no food and no housing. You're not going to die from not having sex
It's not ok to cheat...it's also not ok to starve your partner. Especially if things weren't that way to begin with.
5 times in two years is CRAZY!!! The husband is literally suffering…
Not to minimize what the wife may be going through…
What season and episode is this?
I've told women, if we are not having sex. Then why am I here? There is nothing about a women's personality that is so great that makes it worth sticking around without sex.
Nah she dead wrong for that
9/10, bro already did it. Just looking to justify at this point.
Exactly
Cheating is never okay,ever.
It is disrespectful to you,your partner,any children involved.
Plus it opens everyone up to STD and STI, unplanned pregnancy,rage, jealousy,etc.
You need to commit with your partner.
If your wife is not performing or can not perform her duties, a man is allowed to find another woman to perform those duties as long as he provides completely for both households. This is known as taking a second wife. If a man merely sleeps with another woman, without providing, AND returns to his wife, that is adultery.
Adultery is getting ready married while your other spouse is still alive
WTH! If the time comes the man can't perform his duties then wife can do the same. I doubt he's a sole provider by the looks of him.
@@natural4lyfe40 you are absolutely correct, if a man cannot provide a woman is perfectly able to go to another man and earn a wage. 99% of women already get money from a man that isn't their husband. Either that or Jeff Bezos has about 2,000 wives. But if you speak of intimacy, a woman is not allowed to sleep with another man, that's adultery and unnecessary. Most women take care of those "needs" themselves anyway with batteries and a woman cannot allow another man access to where her babies come from, as she isn't the provider and cannot serve two masters.
@@Mr.M.G.Robinson when a man sleeps with a woman, two flesh become one (marriage). We speaking the same language
Step out, he barely stepped in. Ain't no way she is denying him and being faithful to him. If she ain't dead, severely disabled, or in a coma she has no excuse
Some women experience mental & physical issues related to child birth that maybe having affective communication could offer an explanation or give understanding to what she’s dealing with versus looking for answers outside your marriage that could lead to a more permanent breakdown in your relationship.
Thank you for your prayers
If I have to cheat. The situation is done! Ain’t enough money or mental to make me stay no matter the situation
If y’all only been intimate 5 or 6 times,. You’ve only been intimate 5 or 6 times,. Trust me, she’s getting hers somewhere! 🎉😢
The gaslighting what about game is over 9000
Here’s the thing man don’t understand how tiring it truly is to take care of a toddler and to be the kind of woman that they want as in cooking cleaning, etc. and if that woman also is holding a job as well as taking care of a baby she’s exhausted! Very few times to men understand the mental exhaustion of a woman with a lot on her plate and sex is the last thing on your mind. In short it’s NEVER OK TO BETRAY THE TRUST OF YOUR PARTNER! if your needs are not being met please just exit the relationship
I've noticed something. Most of the time when a man complains that he does not get any. Notice how he is really skinny or fat. I don't remember seeing fit men complaining that they don't get any.
He asked "would you expect her to stay? If he payed bills randomly" as if the man in the audience said he wanted a divorce. That man in the audience is free to divorce if he is unhappy just like the next person but it is never ok to cheat. NEVER.
Also it is the womaans "job" to multiply not be a sex slave. If she has had his children and shes taking care of home this does not give him the license to cheat. Nothing Does! Both however to go their seperate ways and never get back together again.
Sounds like he needs to have a conversation a real conversation with his lady.
Shidddd you're not getting any anyway. If it goes left at least you know you're losing less than you thought.
She said to leave the relationship. If you're not satisfied then separate. I think the issue comes with trying to have the cake and eat it too
Never, should it happen. He should first pray, then have a conversation with her.
At that point it doesn’t matter what she thinks.
So my question would be, why is ok for a woman to cheat on her man when he isnt "providing emotional connection", yet women will create all manners of excuses to justify said behaviour?
5 times in 2 years while a man is paying bills is crazy
He didn't say cheat. The bill question had them silent.
April 15th is the ideal time to turn in one's completed income tax...
When is the right time to step outside one's relationship 🤔 is a question that can only be answered by 2 people:
Oneself and anyone whose ever contracted AIDS, GONORRHEA, SYPHILIS, STD, HIV, or has ever appeared on the Maury P show!
It got real quiet wen ace asked that question. I wish they showed the rest. But I pretty sure will all know the answer to that.
😅😅😅😅 even the one talking was on hush mode
Maybe if you aren’t competent enough to communicate with your partner as to WHY y’all ain’t intimate you not a good partner. Period. You should know or learn HOW to get YOUR lady in the mood.
Comments - “just break up the family already, she’s not going to compromise for you.”
Sisterhood unite! Girl you don’t need a man. Lmao
If u feel the need to cheat, leave full stop.
I mean I agree with the woman that the question was definitely a bad one, I would say it's a matter of LEAVING the relationship not STEPPING OUT
I think they should 1st both speak to not only a couples therapsits but one that specializes in sex therapy. As long as its not a medical reason why she isnt having sex then there should be a conversation and get to the root of the issue. You dont just jump to cheating without putting in the work. If you do everything you can fix the issue and it still doesnt work then you need to talk about parting ways because sex is s deal breaker. But to stay and cheat is a no.
Sis is right... you never asked your partner if it is okay to step outside the relationship to cheat or get some.
If you like them you do.. thats how thid 3sum ish goes around
Just leave because it's no longer a relationship.
If you wanna leave then leave. If you wanna cheat….then LEAVE.