Why Is It Okay to be Selfish as a Mother? (Here's the Answer)

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  • čas přidán 8. 12. 2020
  • Why Is It Okay to be Selfish as a Mother? (Here's the Answer)
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Komentáře • 65

  • @stephensantiago603
    @stephensantiago603 Před 3 lety +42

    This dude is really a BEAST 🤣. He has very thorough, complete and thoughtful answers for the callers.

  • @jollysteffen
    @jollysteffen Před 3 lety +30

    1:55 Are mom's aloud to be selfish
    6:50 Mom has hard time with husband with depression who doesnt understand son with ADHD
    25:15 Trying to heal after husband infidelity
    39:39 Can I motivate my girlfriend to get fit?
    53:37 ending words

  • @rachelgooden9981
    @rachelgooden9981 Před 3 lety +11

    The fact that he was going to leave her for the other woman .... tough pill to swallow

  • @jesscuc
    @jesscuc Před 3 lety +4

    Ohh that second caller broke my heart. I'm in that same boat with 4 kids, 7 yr old, 3 yr old, and twin 1 yr olds. It's so hard, I felt that pain and just cried through that whole phone call. It is hard and painful!
    What Dr. D said about no longer having trust in yourself after years of infidelity is so true. Why didn't I just leave? Why did I stay? He can change, right? I can change, right? I'm hoping for the best for you Charly! You are a strong mama!

  • @itisAlex_
    @itisAlex_ Před 3 lety +24

    Am I the only one who would leave if my husband said “I do want to be with her” even if I loved him I would say there’s the door and good luck! There’s no trusting him after that.

    • @LL-lj1kq
      @LL-lj1kq Před 3 lety +6

      itisAlex_ ,,,, I would have to leave the marriage too. She wants him to be what he was before ! That guy was the man who allowed himself to betray her. No, I left that betrayer , long ago. I’m 68 and have been so happy since.

    • @itisAlex_
      @itisAlex_ Před 3 lety +4

      @@LL-lj1kq So happy you left! Cheaters never change and if you forgive them once they think you’ll always forgive them and so the cycle continues. Glad you put a stop to it!

    • @LtGrandpoobah
      @LtGrandpoobah Před 3 lety +3

      @@itisAlex_ "only sith deal in absolutes."

    • @GUITARTIME2024
      @GUITARTIME2024 Před 3 lety

      @@itisAlex_ you get that most men cheat, right?

    • @itisAlex_
      @itisAlex_ Před 3 lety

      @@GUITARTIME2024 There is no need tho. That is what I do not understand. Just leave if you’re unhappy, be honest and communicate!

  • @auroramothergoddess
    @auroramothergoddess Před 3 lety +17

    So solution to the gaining weight conflict: you either leave them OR accept them for who they are

  • @brookesmith1550
    @brookesmith1550 Před 3 lety +1

    I always tell other moms “me” time is the best time because if you dont take care of yourself then you can’t fully take care of others. Especially for stay at home moms!!

  • @d.c.4618
    @d.c.4618 Před 3 lety +2

    Husband comment is so true. Asking for specifics like bedtime, bathtime, meal preps, laundry, etc. is so much better than seeing things are fine and assume your wife will ask.

  • @cathyosullivan718
    @cathyosullivan718 Před 3 lety +8

    It’s so hard to forgive cheating. I wonder if the husband would have forgiven her if the situation was reversed. If she was the one saying that she has never been as in love with him as she is now.

  • @NT-bz5nh
    @NT-bz5nh Před 3 lety +9

    Phew, that weight call was intense.

  • @rachelgooden9981
    @rachelgooden9981 Před 3 lety +11

    John dealt with the whole weight thing in an awesome way!

  • @buibuibuirockineverywhere8701

    Anyone else see the thousands of ads on this video? 😅

  • @rachelgooden9981
    @rachelgooden9981 Před 3 lety +9

    He will never respect you unless you leave him

  • @murderofcrows7738
    @murderofcrows7738 Před 3 lety +4

    If she hadn’t fully forgiven her husband and moved on, she really shouldn’t have added another child to the mix.

  • @jeniffercollado69
    @jeniffercollado69 Před 3 lety +5

    Good morning Dr. Delony.

  • @lauradigerolamo6769
    @lauradigerolamo6769 Před 3 lety +3

    "Beefcake 2000" I'm dying! Love Dr. John!

  • @ginahumbel3972
    @ginahumbel3972 Před 3 lety +19

    Why are there so many ads? There are more ads than Delony talking! I haven't had this problem with his other shows. I don't mind ads, they help pay the bills but they are alot on this video!

    • @itisAlex_
      @itisAlex_ Před 3 lety +2

      I was thinking the same thing 😔

    • @LtGrandpoobah
      @LtGrandpoobah Před 3 lety +1

      That's youtube's algorithm. I don't think John Delony can control how often they happen.

    • @bdrm2009
      @bdrm2009 Před 3 lety +1

      @@LtGrandpoobah wrong. Creators set how many ads there are.

    • @DraculaMaviss
      @DraculaMaviss Před 3 lety +2

      Because they need money to pay Delony's salary lol jk idk

    • @nathangill8404
      @nathangill8404 Před 28 dny

      Does the boy need a whoopin' ?

  • @littlered3830
    @littlered3830 Před 3 lety +1

    Us women aren’t socialized or trained to be caretakers. We have a natural inclination to do so. It’s in our DNA. Much like men are naturally protective and provide.

    • @vaska1999
      @vaska1999 Před 2 měsíci

      That's largely a myth. Very many women won't admit it (because nurturing is supposed to be in our DNA, as you believe) but they don't enjoy looking after children all day long. Many don't enjoy it for more than 2-4 hours a day. Upper class and wealthy-class women have always had nannies and house help, never spending much time with their children. And THAT is perfectly natural: adults need adult company, and it's only in the past couple of hundred years that.midfle class women have taken on the work of raising children entirely or for the most part on themselves. Prior to that, child rearing and household work were shared among members of the extended family, so mothers were never left to themselves to nurture their children AND care for their husbands.
      As for men, throughout recorded history, husbands have abandoned their wives and children and failed to provide for them. Sad but true.
      But don't take my word for it. Go to your local public library and get some books on social history, the history of the family, and related topics. Reality is very different from the stories we usually tell each other about it.

  • @brookesmith1550
    @brookesmith1550 Před 3 lety +2

    Of course the husband is not carrying a brick in the back pack because he was the one who cheated!!!!

  • @missscontrarymary
    @missscontrarymary Před 3 lety +12

    Too many bleepin’ ads!!!

    • @Teadrinker710
      @Teadrinker710 Před 3 lety

      55 minutes and there was a commercial like every 3 minutes.

  • @vaska1999
    @vaska1999 Před 2 měsíci

    Dr Delony, what was that nonsense you saddled the second caller with, asking her why she's still carrying the "brick" of her husband's repeat cheating and his emotional abuse?! I doubt she can ever get over the way her husband behaved, repeatedly telling her he wanted to be with someone else, leaving, coming back, then telling her all over again that he wanted to be with that other person, etc. I feel sorry for that lady: she'd have been so much better off emotionally and in her mind if she'd divorced him instead of having yet another child with him.

  • @FireFortuna
    @FireFortuna Před 3 lety

    Yes!

  • @sharkman027
    @sharkman027 Před 3 lety +1

    Now that I'm through with the video I feel the need to listen to some Pantera.

  • @LauraHenkes
    @LauraHenkes Před měsícem +1

    How is the mother of the violent boy supposed to do all the things Dr Delony recommended?

  • @cristalcruzzin1756
    @cristalcruzzin1756 Před 3 lety +2

    Wayyyy too many ads

  • @heydude7796
    @heydude7796 Před 3 lety +4

    I was literally thinking yesterday, "I wonder what Dr D would suggest for telling your girl she's gaining weight with the jokes to the side." 😆

    • @davidjonburke2729
      @davidjonburke2729 Před 3 lety +1

      The worst is when she complains about gaining weight..you try to help like most men do like this guy is and it just makes everything worse because that's got to be her choice to get fit / healthy.. so what do you do just sit there and listen to her complain about her body??

    • @rudesoto
      @rudesoto Před 3 lety +2

      @@davidjonburke2729 You listen and love her buddy. If she asks for help and/or advice, that's when you bust out all da weight loss knowledge all of us men naturally have.

    • @rustyshackleford7285
      @rustyshackleford7285 Před 3 lety +1

      Gotta admit, at first I thought the guy was asking “How do I convince her the weight doesn’t matter?”

    • @davidjonburke2729
      @davidjonburke2729 Před 3 lety +1

      @@rustyshackleford7285 you can tell her that all day till you're blue in the face good luck

  • @LtGrandpoobah
    @LtGrandpoobah Před 3 lety +1

    I'm jealous. You must have a great mom to hold that point of view.

  • @candyluna2929
    @candyluna2929 Před 3 lety +1

    Is a tough thing to forgive....it takes time and it might be long

    • @theshunnedBandersnatch
      @theshunnedBandersnatch Před 3 lety

      It is! I watch a couples therapist here on YT and he said that it could take some people a decade to trust their partner after just one incident of infidelity 😯

  • @thefoodwench4848
    @thefoodwench4848 Před 3 lety +4

    The first caller.... sounds like the problem is her husband and the child is behaving as he’s been taught because he thinks he can. He sees his dad get away with it. Honestly I’d think this caller and son the might be better off if she left her husband.

  • @theweirdosdts
    @theweirdosdts Před 3 lety

    Why was "leave" the automatic response? I'm truly confused.

  • @guccitraplord9743
    @guccitraplord9743 Před 3 lety

    Hey

  • @Iamgone1961
    @Iamgone1961 Před 5 měsíci

    I’ve always been around 168 pounds, I lost trust in my husband, know he doesn’t like hefty women and to stop the physical aspect bounced up to 210 pounds, still had to be honest and get out of the relationship, weight now back to normal, so go figure

    • @vaska1999
      @vaska1999 Před 2 měsíci

      Perfectly normal. Many women put on weight when they're unhappy and lose weight easily when the major cause of stress is removed from their lives.

  • @heatherann4390
    @heatherann4390 Před 3 lety +7

    Being a parent is selfless in itself.

  • @trock233
    @trock233 Před 3 lety +4

    Too many’s ads unsubscribe

  • @candyluna2929
    @candyluna2929 Před 3 lety

    AdHD isnt even bad.

  • @apriltownsend8463
    @apriltownsend8463 Před měsícem

    Here's an idea for husbands: if your wife is the one in charge of dinner all the time then she deserves two nights off a week from cooking - one night being a date night out and one night where YOU'RE in charge of dinner. That's what would show me love.