Steven Seagal Half Past Dead Is So Bad It's Really Into Astrology - Worst Movie Ever
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- čas přidán 7. 09. 2023
- Steven Seagal's godawful excuse for a movie Half Past Dead is so mind numbingly irritating it's constantly talking about how it's a Scorpio and how they're loyal and devoted, but that's nonsense because anyone that's seen a Steven Seagal movie knows they're all Cancers with a dash of Gemini
#stevenseagal #worstmovie #badmovies #actionmovies - Komedie
Check out my Patreon for ad-free and uncensored videos: www.patreon.com/Space_Ice
Still waiting for your treatment of Best-Worst Movie of All Time: Breaker, Breaker starring the Norris 😉
It would be the best!!
Can you do treasur planet
I was wondering, when you will do under siege?
Gotta do exit wounds
Thank you man!!!!!! Again you made my day!!!! I respect you forever!!!!!!!hahahahahahahah
Space Ice's Seagal movies is what I live for
I hope Seagull's career never ends so we can never run out of reviews
Seemingly an endless supply of Seagal movies.
Who is financing these?
Can't live without his narrations, great job space ice
He can always watch ballistic: ecks vs sever
@@Chuck_Hooks Well, first it was the mafia… now I assume it’s the Russians.
I thought the worst thing Ja ever did was either the Fire Festival disaster or insulting Eminem's daughter, but teaching Seagal to talk like a black guy is simply the WORST.
That's low indeed. The homo love scenes shown in this video also put him on the cutting edge for Hollywood but no doubt unintentionally.
Hey, cut him some slack... we just watched the man get added to Seagal’s list of allegations
Relax, you cant claim words for a race, that makes you a racist.
The worst thing he ever did was stay alive after hitting that windshield. He has to speak more lines in the movie afterwards.
@@shrapnel77If only baby girl had put it on him just a little harder.
You can tell Seagal thinks working for the C.I.A is the most badass thing ever😂 every single character
I mean in fairness all Hollywood movies depict it that way
@@CoolPandaTheMovieNerd yeah I’d agree with you on that but the man has no range! He only plays C.I.A operatives or some sorta rogue soldier 🤣😂
Seagal when he gets a real job at the CIA and it's just sitting at a desk reading European newspapers and EU agricultural reports:
The prison guard ragdolling Ja Rule across the room with a lazy right hook just killed me
Honestly that was really funny. I would've like to see more of that.
Love how Ja Rule turned Asian in that scene , just like Seagal goes skinny when he rolls 😂
funniest shit ever I'm fkn crying laughing right now
And then saying kids hit harder than that I'm dead 😂
I feel its not an accident that ja rule gets embarassed in every scene he is. Seagull wrote it like that on purpose
"Half Past Dead" is how Seagal's Cardiologist would describe him.
😂
I'm dead 😂😂
😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
I'm done
The fact Ja Rule gets ragdolled like a Muppet the whole movie, is why this is 50 cents favorite movie😂
"Cent's"
@aarteestmj4958 "nobody cares"
2nd that. @@mcspankem
I lost it when that guard bitch slapped him into a corkscrew🤣🤣
😂😂🤣🤣🤣☠️
The running joke of Seagalls bloodlust never gets old. A part of me wishes we could get an entire MCU style franchise centered around one dude who is the amalgamation of Space Ices interpretation of all Stephens roles.
Just a clueless, bloodthirsty edgelord with the power to summon Body Doubles at will while rendering all attempts at plot nonsensical.
LMAO!
What do you mean by joke?
And the name would be "Seagal", as parallel to "JCVD" the mature and self-reflecting Van Damme movie.
Except it's a Seagal movie and we all know what that means.
I watched the movie and it has a huge plot hole in why Seagal needed to go undercover or even be at the prison itself. The entire assumption behind being undercover was that Seagal was going to gather information yet he already had everything figured out well before even going into the prison. He could have literally just went after the main villain but yet he required to kill off nearly the entire prisoner, and guards for reasons unclear.
@@Dan-di9jd This thinking is exactly what will get you killed by one of Stephen's doubles.
I watched this movie as a child mainly because we were poor and only had a dvd player. My dad watched a ton of Seagal movies because you could get a box with like 30 of them for $6 at Dollar General.
That is a form of child abuse! LOL!
Lmfao 🤣
Still over priced 😂
@@powerofme7144 I know, right? You should get payed $30 to watch a single one of them and get additional benefits for more than 5, lmao!
Seagal films on sale at the Dollar General? So Seagal!
The fact that they made the guy go flying backwards using a weapon specifically designed to have almost no recoil is the type of realism only Seagal can provide.
It makes you wonder how any soldier would be ever able to fire it.
Some real looney tunes shit right there
I changed my opinion due to false memory, so you are right!
"The guy"....? that guy is Kurupt from Tha Dogg Pound..yall know Ja Rule but not Kurupt come on now
Who tf is Kurrupt
" The Fat and the Furious" line killed me😂. Big props to Space Ace for making our lifes better😅
I was not expecting that at all
This man is a gem
This guy is awesome I just found this channel it's now one of my favorites. Fat and the furious 🤣🤣🤣
Hell yeah
"Now s**t gets crazy when they bust in on Professor-X while he's connected to Cerebro". I completely lost it at this part. 😂😂🤣🤣
I can't breathe that part threw me off the Burj khalifa🤣😂☠️💀
ditto
Got me crying too😂😂😂😂😂hahahaahhha
Yep I laughed so hard at "Cerebro" !
Ja Rule was really the star of the movie. His entire life trajectory could have been so much greater if he stuck with the Fast and Furious franchise
in an interview he mentionned that he had to turn it down for his music tour for more money
Buddy, you either don’t understand trajectory or you’re a fast & furious because Ja Rule’s career made the Seagal greatest decision of its life with this one. Piss on your mother, old man.
Those movies suck too.
@@8darkknight472Fast and Furious makes alot of money regardless
Paul walker had a great tragectory as well 😂
'Half Past Dead' is ironically a good way to describe Steven Seagal's action movie career
And Seagal himself.
Weekend at Steven’s.
@@tattooninja half past six is a slang term for erectile dysfunction in men. When it points... not completely down. I assume it references that.
@@KasumiRINA like a penile sun-dial
I honestly thought Space Ice was goofin' on us and changed the title as an ode to Seagal's current mental state.
My 68 year old grandmother loved this movie until her passing. She thought it was great seeing an old man like Steven doing all his own stunts.
God bless her heart ❤
@@rabidrabbitshuggers
Doh
Bless her heart
Didn't have the heart to tell her? Understandable.
This got a genuine awww❤
3:05 Seagal taking cover behind a barrel of flammable gas like a true video game NPC. Those dudes randomly firing into the air while sliding down those cables is also one of the Seagal movie moments of all time.
goldeneye 64 npc favorite spots
I can't help but feel Seagal watched that Michael Bay film, The Rock, and thought to himself "I could do that but better."
😂
At first I thought you said, "I could that, but butter." Which would have made a lot more sense too.
And then he didn't
Saw this movie when I was about 12 and thought it was the shit. Simpler times before I had any level of critical thinking and common sense 😂
Relatable, I was the same with the glimmer man much to my shame
@@infamouscheesecake2232 the fact that we feel shame makes us better than him. Stay strong brother 🙏
If it helps, i though "Batman and Robin" (the one with Arnold as mr freeze) was a great superhero movie when i was 16
😂😂😅😅 You were still growing brain cells so we forgive you
@@infamouscheesecake2232 I love the Glimmer Man's title. It sounds badass. "There'd be nothing but jungle, then a glimmer... Then you'd be dead!"
Ja Rule getting thrown around with ease against objects at high speed and getting up like nothing happened makes me think he is 80% made out of baloon
whatever it is i'm sure it does start with a 'B'
@@dejuren1367 we tried, but it's been disconnected.
The amount of trauma Space Ice has suffered having to actually watch all these piles of Seagal crap to give these amazing videos is unimaginable. Thank you Ice for the sacrifice you've made!
Seagal's face is so epic he could express love, hate, happy, sad, angry, remorse and disgust with one facial expression.
How did he not get cast in the Twilight movies?
Every Steven Seagal movie in a nutshell:
-Steven Seagal is either ex special forces or ex CIA or ex something
-Everyone treats Seagal like the second coming of Christ
-Steven Seagal will mumble his way through scenes or require the use of voice overs from other actors
-Body doubles who do everything which includes walking, standing, and fighting
-Lots of plot convenience
-Steven Seagal will be portrayed as a hero but commits tons of crimes
-Seagal will hook up with women younger than him
-Multiple plot threads that go nowhere or are completely abandoned by the end of the movie
-Whenever Seagal does fight, he’s either slap fighting or fighting sitting down and never has to reload
-Fight scenes will have plenty of shaky cam or jump cuts to hide Seagal’s weight or his stunt doubles
-Every Seagal film is either set in Eastern Europe, Mexico, or Asia
-Steven Seagal will always go to strip club even if it doesn’t contribute to the plot
-Plots will usually resolve themselves in the first 20 minutes
-Terrible special effects and green screen
-Seagal will never hold a gun correctly
-Whenever Seagal is in a team, everyone will either die or do nothing while he does all the work
-One liners and jokes that fall flatter than Seagal’s “acting career”
-The DEA apparently has jurisdiction over everything
-Seagal will also have a family that’s introduced at the end of the movie
Anything else I forget?
you wrote that in a minute? holy hell
Yea one thing i can think of right now is
-Steven Seagal rarely will show any emotions other then just pissed off or emotionless.
@@icarorodrigues8501 copy paste 😂
@@piperatthegatesofdawnyep, I've seen this list before on other SI videos.
Steven Seagal will pretend like he's black but instead ends up sounding like a racist idiot.
It truly is a Good Friday when we get an honest review for a Steven Seagal mega blockbuster hit movie!
WHERE HE SHOWED THE WORLD!
Everything is stupid and nothing matters...
@@wolfeusmc2011I wish I could give multiple thumbs up to that mega blockbuster reply and to the original mega blockbuster hit post.
THAT YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO EVEN IF YOU'RE BAD AT IT
6:26
"And im pretty sure this guy's tangled up in the rope"
🤣😂🤣😂☠
..”But it’s a lot of work.. something we know Seagal will never do!!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Say what you want, but Seagal is one of the most accomplished comedy stars of all time.
🤡🤡🤡
It’s pronounced “Space Ice”, not “Seagull"
🤣🤣🤣
I can't remember if I have ever laughed so hard on a comment. Excellent 👍
As is Ja Rule
Unintentional comedy stars of all time, in the same way as JarJar Binks is funny, he can pass the first time but it's downhill from there.
Imagine being a struggling actor/actress and you get a part in wtf this was and thinking that you’re on your way
I’d rather do porn.
Brutal!!!
I hope they at least got paid.
I guess they'd look more into your potential than your role in Seagal's film. But I think if you're trying to use Seagal as a ladder upwards, you'd be disappointed even if he was a star.
Red flags should've been Seagal and Ja Rule
I would pay to see a Seagal movie narrated by Space Ice in theaters.
Space ice's intro about the "mega blockbuster hit" and "where he shows the world" makes me laugh every time without fail.
I utter that line out loud to myself without context all the time. It's such a great mockery to Seagal's movie "career"
@@AbsurdistAsianMeeeegaa blockbuster hit
“If you’re wondering what kind of secret mission involves dying and spending years in prison…” I lost it hearing that 😂
Dumb and Dumber part 3
If I ever end up in prison, that's the line I'm giving to everyone there. I'm on a secret mission, shhhh!
According to maga, that would be the FBI.
"5 years doesn't sound like much, but this is San Francisco so that's like 8 life sentences." That burn was so hot it's still outshining the sun!
Please, don’t ever stop making videos. I’ve been watching your videos for 3 hours straight and been in absolute hysterics. You really make depression so much easier
"One of the shootouts of all time" 😂😂😂😂
"Then the prison is attacked by this lady, who comes in like she's fucking Sting". I'm crying LOL 🤣
Did you hear Tony Schiavone saying it in your head too? 😂
And she wears make up to a mission 😅
Well she must be . U never know . Sting want in a good place back then
@@powerofme7144 It's STIIIIIING!
“Being heavy is what he does best” the tag line for all Seagal movies
3:25 “keeps his *fan* guessing” 😂😂😂
while focusing on jarule's silly face
Run waddle 🤣🤣
I remember watching this movie on Star Movies channel in 2006 with my dad and we both were laughing out loud so much that even the neighbors started watching it and laughing too. 🤣🤣🤣
Thanks for doing this one. Must of been during his "Hood" years when he was a brother, not long before his Asian years, then finally, his fridge years.
Spoken from the heart. Or the stomach.
Don't forget his Russian gangster/snuff writer fase.
Lol
Not like it matters but just in case you're interested: "must of" is actually "must have", people just write it that way because of how "must've" sounds.
I like these strange overlaps, my favorite is "peddle stool" instead of "pedestal".
Proper cringe yet some how bloody hilarious in equal measure one of my fave scenes from that "era" is in today you die when he escapes from prison and goes to that bar to see that guy whos selling weapons when he tries doing those handshakes and gang signs superb stuff
Ja Rule getting ragdolled throughout the movie keeps cracking me up 😂
It's the funniest part
@@Bigedub101 You know Seagal planned it that way. Genius.
50 cent loves this movie! 😂
Its how I presume most fights involving Ja Rule would go in RL LOL
This movie is very special to my childhood.
This is the only movie that I watched in the big screen coz it was a Saturday night and my father wanted the entire family to go out for a movie night.
We got to our local cinema and the choices were god awful.
Half Past Dead was the only action flick in a sea of romcoms and local B tier movies, so we went with that.
After watching the movie my dad was like 'How the hell was an action flick so boring?!'
We never watched a Seagal movie ever again.
PS: No Strip Club.... AMAZING!
I think we can all agree Space Ice has enriched all our lives. ❤
Jarule and Steven are the best comedy duo no one asked for.
I am not sure what hits me harder: the sheer volume of work SpaceIce is doing by watching this crap, analyzing it, editing it, making his script, and last but not least his absolutely genius humor, or the stubbornness and lack of self-awareness Seagal is showing by making this shit for decades, over and over again. In any case, SpaceIce is making this world a better one.
Seagal blows SpaceIce away.
i understand why he really hates fatty seagull. imagine having to spend 90 mins at least once a week watching that crap. lol
Seagal is more talented and more of a man than you could ever hope to be and he eats pieces of sh!t like you for breakfast.
11:48 Opening that "Door" with a Rocket Launcher R O F L
"A lifeless clump of mass is the role he was born for." Well I got my ab workout in for today from laughing so hard...
You’re literally the only guy who pullls me outta depression sometimes. Thanks for your content brother.
Yes, me too. But as my depression starts to fade, ads come up and I want to choke smb.
@@manolmeister hahahah
Same here
Try Napoleon Blownapart mush
Why doesn't this guy have a million plus subscribers is beyond me. This is comedy gold. Keep the video's coming!!!!
Because people like this space ice bung hole keep hating on the most versatile action star of all time
@kdcpo6105 lol true. Peak actor, athlete, martial artist, and the list goes on. Probably the best human to ever exist in literally every metric imaginable
Keeps his fan guessing, lol.
Singular.
They could've sworn there was a beanbag here earlier. 😂😂
I just cannot understand how Ja Rule’s acting career never took off? 🤷🏻♂️
This reminds me, I hope Space Ice can eventually cover the Ja Rule and Pras classic, "Turn It Up". Pras delivers one of the greatest non-performances of the 00s, and Ja Rule has THE most hilarious pronunciation of 'my car' one will ever hear.
Also features Jason Statham in an early role as an evil gangster/music producer.
3:56
Yeah, Hollywood sucks!
I blame his involvement in the Fyre Festival scam 😑😑😑😑😑
We aight
“Sympathy exertion”
That one almost killed ME of a heart attack
12:40
That delivery is Golden
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Amazing
"Hell yeah! Kids beat his ass way worse then that all the time!"
I literally doubled over laughing at this, completely uncontrolled. Space Ice is the GOAT at whatever the hell genre of video this is. This is basically his own genre nkw
"That level of senseless stupidity is just the rush seagal needs" I lost it there 😹💀👌🏼
CAN WE ALL APRECIATE HOW STEVEN SEAGULL IS LITERALLY UNLIMITED COMEDY?
Whether or not it’s intentional..
There's no need to shout
There's a little bit of seagull in all of us
If he didnt take himself so damn seriously he would actually be fun to watch
That wise old man bit where they keep cutting back to him like, see I told you so, is gold
with the stupid soundtrack in the background
Had me in literal tears! 😭 😂
This is definitely one of the best ones you’ve done. This series is one of the few things I audibly laugh at on the internet.
“A run-waddle into an unnecessary shoulder roll!” Comedic gold! 😂😂😂😂😂
Especially when followed up by “keeps his fan guessing,” less than a minute later.
"Kids beat his ass way harder than that like all the time." I died.
Me too.
I had an actual laughing fit when at the end it was implied that the pretty young thing Seagal always ends up banging in his movies was Ja Rule. I almost passed out from laughing so much.
@4:12 the hug Seagal does is hilarious. Resting his head on his shoulder haha
I sincerely want Steven Seagal to never stop making movies just so I can keep watching these videos.
You haven't put it together yet? Space Ice is seagulls agent and tricks him into making these bad movies so he can make these good videos.
He already stopped, no new Seagal movie since 2019.😭
@@mauricio2915NOOOOOOOOOOO
When Space says “Oh Fuck you!” you can tell he is genuinely angry at Seagal.😂
The fact that Seagal has amassed at least 12 of the 13 'Worst Movies Ever' is testament to his consistent towering achievement and dedication 😐🙄😐
Seagal waddling around in that wave cap 👊
I really don't know how you watch all these Seagal movies and stay sane. You must have an iron will.
I watched A Good Man once and ended up chewing off my little toe before it was over. For the next 6 weeks all I could do was walk in circles and quack like a duck. Had to be put into a medically induced coma for 4 years...and still, the first words I yelled when being woken up were "I'll snatch every muther Fuker birfday!" and then screamed the scream of ultimate suffering for several hours.
In the end the only option was a full brain transplant. The only brain I could get was one from a particularly slow-witted Bonobo, but it was still better than the brain with memories of a Seagal movie.
Excellent comment
Man I'm sorry to hear that, wish I could do the same with my brain as well after watching Chuunibyou English dub but then 3rd world problems kicked in
Boom. Roasted!
Be strong, bro, you're gonna make it!
🤣
so this movie is basically The Matrix, The Rock, Blade , and Training Day? all rolled up into 1 , incoherent , masterpiece of a Movie .
"Seagal has no idea, who the fuck that is, but he sure as shit ain't going after her"😂😂
I'm so happy I found this channel , I can watch all Seagal'm movie in short and better version 😂😂😂
"The fat and the furious" pure comic gold.
These movies are basically a way for him to act out his (disturbing) power fantasies
"We get one of the shootouts of all time" absolutely killed me
This is by far the best channel on CZcams
This is the era of Seagal where it felt like he was trying at least somewhere. There was a hint of some kind of style, compared to his movies now where the camera just turns out and the directors edits the footage and releases it.
Yeah. After the 90's it all went downhills.
Style?! 😂
This wasn't that era. The first 4 movies he really tried then he spent up until 2018 or w.e releasing 2-3 straight to dvd movies a year. Every once in awhile he did try for a movie like exit wounds but those are surrounded by movies he put no effort into. Pull up his wiki because it's pretty insane how many movies he released.
@@skylined5534Yeah Seagal was more edgy and hardcore style when it came to fighting on his old movies.
@@skylined5534 wild i know, but it's true
My dad took me to see this in the theater when it released. Watching it as an adult is not the same 🤣😞
His first few films (when he was actually trying) were pretty good, he just went downhill very VERY fast!
I think that lady was on the wrong movie set and was supposed to be in the matrix 😂
"But Seagals personality disorder is far too strong for that." 😂😂😂
It's weird, this movie seems to be far and away the best Seagal movie. it's not GOOD, but that bit where he flung that dude out the passenger side was kind of funny. That's, like, one more good bit than we usually get from him! Congradulations Mr Seagal.
Isn't the best Seagal movie Under Siege ?
I don't count that as a Seagal movie, that's a mainstream film which just happens to have him in it. It's not one of these mafia money laundering schemes. @@angelpacheco1608
@@angelpacheco1608 hands down.
His early movies, Above the Law, Marked for Death, and Under Siege were decent action movies....
giving ja rule strikes and showing the guy lighting a smoke and walking away broke my bones 😂😂
Bruh, that was Space Ice's finest hour 🤣🤣🤣 Pure brilliance!
Just like the license plate gag in Urban Justice, had me dying all the way through😂😂
That’s insane that Seagal was on the ground and not in the air.
“He puts the tensile strength of the chains to the test.” lmao
I think your intro summarized this movie perfectly. Seagal went in somewhere, did a bunch of stuff, a bunch of people got hurt and died, and what for? Absolutely nothing at all. Even if there was one criminal mastermind behind it all, Seagal would still somehow kill more innocent people and people who had nothing to do with it before revealing this grand plot that so-so who he could have just taken a taxi to confront.
Space Ice: "im best at making fun of Steven Seagal..."
Steven :"I taught him that..."
The fact that Steven Seagal invented the early ragdoll mechanic is genius
“It’s so secret not even the audience knows” 🤣🤣
I had to pause at roughly 2 minutes 57 seconds to rewind and make sure I heard you said that right. That made me cackle out loud.
11:28 “being heavy is what he does best” 😂
"After Seagal's failed lap band sets off the metal detector" got me 🤣
Spaceice seagale vids have been my bedtime routine over the last year. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched these things.
I love how in EVERY MOVIE where Seagull's hit (happens EXTREMELY rarely, if never), he barely feels discomfort. Like, he's been hit with the equivalent of a cattle prod (to follow Space Ice's commentary) and Seagull's barely showing signs of discomfort. Glorious.
Even when his character's supposed to be hurt or feel discomfort, it's like he doesn't just want to admit to be vulnerable and mortal and has to downplay it as much as he can.
That, or he just can't act.
I'd say both xD
100% certain that Ja Rule is the Steven Seagal of the rap world
We have mumble rap so not even close.
Nah thats Tom Macdonald
@@galloneye64😂
U must be a 50 cent fan 😂😂😂
Soulja Boy is the Steven Seagal of rap music
Steven Seagal, one of the greatest unintentional comedy actors in the cinematic history.
Hes a comedy action star.
“I’m a very funny guy, if you’ll forgive me for saying so. When I did The Glimmer Man with Keenan Ivory Wayans, he and I were talking about who was funniest, and… I kicked his ass every day.” - Steven Seagal, in an interview with The Philadelphia
"5 years which doesn't seem like a long time but this is San Francisco, and that is eight of their life sentences" ugh, so true lol
6:42 LMAO
Everytime a new video comes out, I'm always screaming to my wife : "Oh! Yes! There's a new Seagal!"
Never stop. This makes our day, every single time 😊
I'm sure this one has been done by him before.
The action in this one doesn't seem half bad compared to other Seagal movies. It's weird that Seagal let himself be upstaged by people who actually seem to know a thing or two about fighting and choreography, like the eyeshadow chick.
This was an actual mainstream movie with decent budget. After this flopped Steven Seagal became the direct to DVD master he is today.
In his mind he taught her and everyone else.
Sagal wasn’t in prison for years, that was his cover story. He only got to prison the day he reunited with his friend.
Space Ice - Thank You for all your videos. This might not make any sense but they have helped me get through some really hard times . Don’t ever stop - A Fan from Florida 👍👍👍
one time i was swimming in the river and found this movie on dvd in the river, i fished it out and watched it, it still worked too. years later i regret it and wished i left it in the river lol.
I can't tell if this is true or not, but still laughing my ass off. Also enjoying thinking about the poor bastard that actually paid for this movie in the first place and them being so pissed that they threw it in the river in the first place.
You're like Gollum finding the one ring but instead you found Seagulls latest shovel cinema outing.
sorry to say but yes its true, i actually found this trash in the river while swimming.@@HartleySan
@@Punisher6791 Thanks for sharing. Made my day!
I'd rather find moose droppings than this movie.
"I'm a man with 50 minutes to live", around Seagal, his time was reduced to 5 minutes, amazing!
13:24 look at his finger ffs lol, its almost wrapped around so much its touching his thumb. Elite level trigger discipline there !