Essential steps after first domestic violence arrest

If you've been arrested for domestic violence, it's important to take these essential steps. Learn what to do after a domestic violence arrest in this video.
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RESOURCES:
💌 Domestic violence classes? Go here to take them online and get a certificate ASAP: tinyurl.com/domesticviolenceclass
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I called 911 for help. Abuse was going on for years. I was hit by them while standing at the kitchen sink. Struck me on the side of head with fist. I had a full bowl of water in my hands when I was hit. In retaliation I dumped the water on them immediately after getting hit. They came at me reaching for the bowl so I let them grab from me. They wielded as if to hit but instead threw on the ground and it broke. I then walked to our garage. About 1 minute later they went into the garage and continued calling me names. After about 30 seconds of that I insulted them back. There a carpenter level on the ground and they picked it up and began swinging it at me. I retreated at first. Then I had nowhere to retreat. They stopped swinging it briefly. Then swung thev level low and hit me on the legs. I decided that was it. We had call history going back 28 years. These incidents had happened many times. I called 911 for help. Police believed them when they lied and I was arrested. Found out later. They put together that I not only got them wet, but rather threw the entire bowl full of water. The bowl hitting them. It shattered into pieces. And it could have hit our 5 year old. Police said marks on my legs were not consistent with the weapon
Restraining order was filed. I hitedxa lawyer fought
And fought it well. I had audio recordings of them making threats. They were allowed. They claimed it was not them on the recording. Claimed it was our adult daughter instead. Voice was dead on them and not daughter. My lawyer pinned them in a corner over who it was. They responded no comment. Perjury was clear. My turn on stand. Judgevkeeps jumping in asking questions. How many swings. Asked the same questions but worded differently. Asked me leading questions. I always saud 4 swings total. First two missed, second two hit legs. Did I have my hands up
Yes. But you didn't have injuries on your arms? No I did not. First two swings I backed up and avoided being hit. One I was pinned I kept my hands up but they swung att my legs and hit them. Lawyer asks me if it's natural to raise arms when defending oneself. I agreed. Yet you did not have your arms raised? Yes I did. Judge jumps in so you had your arms up? Yes. And you were struck on the arms? NO, I was struck on the legs. So there was a total of 3 swings? N0, 4 swings. So how many did they have at you before making contact? First two missed as I could back up. Last two I could no longer back up and I was hit on the legs. Did you take a swing at them? No. Why not? I just didn't. Could you just take the level out of their hands? We'll when I tried or did that in the past I didn't help. It made it worse. Then in doing so they start to scratch and bite and it's hard to contain them. Especially because your trying to not hurt them. That hasnt helped before. I stopped doing that. But your bigger stronger? Yes I agree 100% your honor with that but again it's hard to contain someone when your trying no to hurt them back. It's a really hard situation to deal with. I know it appears that it shouldn't be but it is. So, you just let it happen? Well, um yes. My lawyer tried to object; that mistates the evidence; the police was notified. We'll that's not what the court asked. If they did anythingvto try and stop it. And you just let it happen. .......... this was all the judge. He basically was cross examining me along with the lawyer. Once he failed at mixing me up with the number of swings. He resorted to why I didn't stop it. Judge then went on and called a so-calked witness back on the stand and created evidence to raise dought. Judge started asking where the weapon "level" was kept? How high was it kept? The other party is short in stature. Judge on his own brought up that subject. All the while the entire testimony had stated level was on the ground. Judge threw out my bank statements. They were claiming I was not providing money. Statements showed otherwise ( self authenticating). Witness they had claimed my 5 year old told them I threw bowl and water at them. Son is autistic. Not only did that not happen but he can't express that. Regardless it's hearsay. My lawyer said it was hearsay at closing arguments. Judge stopped him and asked; did you object? So if i understand correctly , he allowed that hearsay due to no objection. Yet he threw out my bank statements. Restraining order was granted for 3 years. I left the court wondering what happened. The judge clearly had it out for me. He really did. All along the process he seemed fair. Yet at trial it was different. This is all I think about. My situation. One day I thought about how cps was called. They interviewed us. The judge had brought it up at a couple of our hearings. He asked if we had heard anything from them. That had alarmed me at the time. Then it was never mention again. It took 4vmonths to get to trial. I began search how to see if there was a cps report. After scouring the earth I was able to get a copy. The report makes look like an absolute monster. Every lie is quoted as fact and my truth is just dismissed. The opening sentence: Agency contacted by RP officer Dan Boyle WSPD. (They forgot to black out his name on a page) of a domestic violence incident perpetrated by the father in which a bowl of water was thrown in the proximity of minor child in which he could have been seriously hurt............ that is what that social worker documented as fact. Report was competed early December, trial was late December. I didn't know what to do. Appeal? How? I owed my sister $5k for the bail. I paid the lawyer $5k we lost. I had to pay $1900 monthly to them. And now I owe $9k to the irs.filing single now. At first I thought the judge should not have read it but now I think it's allowed. Either way itcshoukd have swayed him but it did. And how would one prove that anyway.............it was just domino effect starting g with the police they believed there ridiculous lies. It's comoval when there description hiw my ex describes what happened I s vastly from police report to DVRO filed the very next day
Two totally different stories. Lied in court about me not providing money
Claimed I had canceled our car insurance. Which prompted me to call. Policy wasn't canceled but they created a new policy with only some if the vehicles and only them. Leaving me with a police with only me and 1 vehicle. And it needed a rewrite. I has 30 days or it would be canceled. I asked how was I to know this? The stated they mailed a letter and left msg. They sent letter to the address I'm restalned from and left msg on phone of person I'm restrained from. My stopped working. It was reported stollen. When I brough this up. Court didn't care. Domino effects cups are wrong. Social piggy backs of them then ultimately judicial system failed me. I'm a male, so tried to be tuff for a long time. Years, it got very bad the last few. She would pick dangerous things and throw them. Like a hammer. She would say watch when your sleeping. She told me she would send me to jail. (false allegations). That I would never see my kids again. I got depressed. Finally out if desperation I called. Now I'm in a worse place mentally than before. I'm 46, I live with my parents that are in there late 80's. I'm lucky to still have them. I'm grateful . Only people that love you unconditionally. But it's odd? not normal. Everything was taken from me. My home, all my stuff. Stuff was sent to me but it was just junk. My children were stolen from me. I can call them twice a weak. But she is hovering in the background. If I tell them I miss them there eyes shiftt were she is. They don't want to give a response she will disapprove of and get angry about. Don't tell him you miss him! He chose not to be here with you. He told me he didn't want to raise you guys.... she will tell the 5 year old that he helped mommy. You told your big brother what happened. Your dad almost hurt us when he threw something. He wasn't a nice person. That's why we made him stay away,......

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