Are Sword TikToks as Bad as I Expected...?
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- čas přidán 22. 03. 2024
- Some of this stuff makes me feel a little franTICTICKTICKTOCK.. (if you were a metalhead in 2003, you get it).
How much mental pain will I have to inflict upon myself for your entertainment? Well, let's see...
I typed "sword" into the search on TikTok and picked particularly odd videos to react to and comment on. Also poke fun at, in case of a particularly flabbergasting case of clickbait marketing. In the words of the Angry Video Game Nerd: "What were they thinking?!"
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#skallagrim #tiktokvideo #reaction #sword #katana #funny - Zábava
I'm hoping that the first one is satire. Could have used a sarcastic tone of voice to indicate it... on the internet you never know, after all.
Either satire or AI generated. It's just too absurd to be real... right?
Literally said the same thing then looked up and saw we're on the same page 🤔🤣🤣🤣🤣
I think it's satire
It's a Tik tok Skal...What did you expected,educational guide?
It's just that companies weird method of advertising. It's over the top, sarcastic, dumb anime sword memes to sell over the top, dumb anime swords with absurd profit margins.
Neither: it's what happens when idiots meet mass market clickfarming with assistance from non native speakers via AI scriptwriting - and as neither the creators or the intended viewers have any idea what they're taking about, there's nothing pushing back 🤦♂️🤷♂️🤦♂️
It's AI generated dialogue. That's why it's 100% nonsensical.
That was my first thought, and it became more and more apparent to me that that's the case
Ai dialogue makes me run my eardrums through
@@ehsanrahee7411The narrator was reciting the dialogue like he would from a script, too.
My brain hurts, now.
it's dishonest text written by a person. think about the become a lord in scotland adcopy and it's website, none of it makes sense as a whole and it's not supposed to make sense as a whole, the idea is to someone to buy something they can say is a joke item later.
it hardly matters if it's ai generated or made as a filler clickbait by a person hitting keys. it'll make just as much sense. "this is not a normal katana its shaped like a sword" etc, it's been basic idiocy level advert writing for like a decade now.
See, I thought the internet had already made people dumber to a degree that was getting to be really scary... I wonder how low we'll be able to go now...
katana: no handle, not sword-shaped, blunt, bronze, as expensive as 2000 modern fighter jets
got it
The price at least is a joke related to the One Piece character, but the rest... unless it's a references I'm not getting it's just... huh?
@@Skallagrim The comments help explain. Apparently the character is named Law. Tiktok is cancer, and I can't stand young people. (fellow millennial)
@@Arkancide Yeah, that's what I pointed out in the video.
@@Skallagrim Oops. Still waking up, carry on.
So what you are saying is a katan is actually a bronze dildo? Today I learned!
THE BLADE IS UNIQUE , ITS MADE FROM CARBON STEEL AND SHARP
you are unique, you have skin and bones,unlike the rest of us.
To be fair, my sharp carbonsteel Kriegsmesser is obviously not a sword, but a knife. Seriously though, I hope whoever made that was joking
@@bloodlove93 that is true, i'm only bone RATTLE EM BOYS!!!
as opposed to most swords that are made out of spaghetti, and shaped like a hammer.
@@bloodlove93
*- Mark Zzzzzuckerberg
"Fuzzy Tsuba" would be a great name for an all-girl Japanese pop-band.
You're right, hopefully the band would have gained a better world wide recognition than Japanese all girl pop-band Speed.
It would be a better name for an all-boy weeb band tbh.
It sounds like some kind of hentai innuendo to me...🤯
"Enema sword" thats the most terrifying thing I have heard of.
Should be in a Dark souls game.
The chosen weapon of the LOATHSOME DUNG EATER!!!
charge attack, kancho of eternity,the everlasting butt burn
does dark souls have charge attacks, idk and idc.
Would not be surprised if it was a game translated from Japanese. (With chances being 50/50 for it to be an incorrect translation or not)
@@bloodlove93 Yeah, you can charge heavy attacks and in Elden Ring spells can also be charged
it's kinda hot ngl
from the first 2 seconds i already had brain damage
Same
Imagine the effect it has on people who consume TikTok content regularly.
that's the "magic" of tiktok...pure concentrated brain rot
nah man this isn't brain damage, this is brain necrosis
@@SergioLeonardoCornejo actually scary...
I've never been on Tik Tok in my life, and I feel incredibly smug about that.
You're not the only one my friend
Hell yeah, my fellow follower of truth.
You're doing yourself a favor and I can't stress that enough.
Just feel fortunate. That place is a factory for lowering IQ’s.
I actually think it’s quite dangerous to us as a species (social media in general).
Stay that way, unless you wish to inflict upon yourself instant brain trauma. I had one short look on someone else's phone and my IQ got halved. Now I can no longer even find my shoelaces let alone tie them..
that glass/plastic sword would look really good on a wall with some LED lighting to make it look like a fantasy ice blade sort of thing
Or on a cosplay
Or red to make it glow like magma. Green would look amazing as well. Need a lot of walls.
That would be awesome, yeah.
@@justinbremer2281 best part is all you'd need to do is tape a few cyan LEDs to it to achieve the effect portably
My reaction to that one was to flash back to the glass daggers filled with green ... acid (?) used by Milady in The Four Musketeers (1974).
Pommels are so old skool, tickle him rightly with your fluffy tsuba. Thats real swordsmanship.
Dang, I was drinking iced tea when I read your comment, nearly choked to death.
Tickle him rightly. 😂. That tickled my sense of humour.
How to go from Swordsmanship to Relationship.
Striking the back to disgrace your enemy: ❌
Tickle them with your fuzzy tsuba: 👌
"this sword isn't like other swords because it has a handle"
*W H A T ?*
Yes, the classic Sword without a handle. No real reason to take a sword out of it's sheath or anything.
And it's SHARP ???!!! BRO what ??!!! In my life I have never seen a sharp sword
I mean without a handle, at least there's something to say about equality. While you're hurting your opponent, you're slicing your own hand. Seems fair, doesn't it? ;)
I guess he meant katana instead of sword, a katana is just the blade without anything attached to it but i still doesnt make any sense
@@tryxxor wtf are you on about katanas have handles... How do you think people held them by the sharp blade ?
That saint anger joke was top tier
I didn't even recognise the song. It was so meh, I ignored it when it released.
I *really* wanted to like that album but I just could not. It's the only CD I ever threw in the trash. And I stayed with them through Load and Reload.
4:40 ah yes, my favourite weapon, a sounding rod on a stick
A sounding rod for horses at that
I mean... I'd be terrified.
*_Kirsche has entered the chat_*
@@brian_sipe Never have I ever expected a Kirsche reference under this kind of video.
4:18 "CLEARLY this is not intented to be functional" -Skallagrim while talking about a glass sword
Glad I'm not the only one who caught that lol
That app is from the part of the map where it says "here be monsters" where brain cells go to die
I saw someone somewhere call Tiktok something along the lines of "the next generation of Facebook boomers"
The crochet sword one was actually really funny, couldn't agree more :D
Apart from that, I've now had a couple more reasons to stay away from TikTok. Thanks!
Also, because I know you can use the feedback: Great (and very funny) video, as always. No matter how badly the algorithm treats you, I always enjoy when you upload something new, and usually it either makes me laugh, or teaches me something I didn't know before, or sometimes both. Thanks and see you on (or under/next to) the next one. :)
"Well... speaking of melons" 😂
2:58
"barbabianca: where do you put it exactly?"
Highly underrated comment
By my own admission, I have a sizable collection of "tacticool" sharp implements. Some are more serviceable than others.
What I don't have are a bunch of cheap katanas. Even though I was a complete weeb while I was a teenager and young adult (the mid and late 1990's into the early 2000's, respectively). Have I missed out? Do I need to see what TikTok has to say, on the matter?
No, I didn't. And I don't.
The words "fuzzy tsuba" will be forever etched in a cursed place somewhere deep in my soul.
Gonna take a wild guess and say "yes".
Sure, it's not all terrible. But the vast majority is.
SellswordArts does better short-form content that has, well, content, and is quite informative.
Don't forget robinsword
@@Lord_Marquaad Them too.
I like that Robinsword has a more scholar look while SellswordArts does more of a devilish swashbuckler duelist.
*ahem *
Minikatana-
@@gangrenousgandalf2102 my opinions on MK are public record. No need to *ahem* about it
The first clip you showed could have one shotted a bear totem barbarian for the amount of psychic damage it dealt.
The first video was probably translated from Mandarin using machine translation and AI voice-over. 3 Chinese ads on Tiktok uh, who would have thought.
Either that or it was stolen content that was run through an AI to reword things slightly. All depends on whether or not there was a legitimate link to buy the sword
Minikatana rarely uses computer generated voice overs but I can see why you’d think that
"It's a sword, Skall... but not as we know it.."???
"Samurai off the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow!"
Swords cannae change the laws of physics, laws of physics, laws of physics!
"We come in piece, cut to kill, oops it broke!"
The only thing missing from these tiktoks is The Catfish Knife. Y'all remember The Catfish Knife? The one that "stares into your soul with its dead, hate-filled eye." I can't stop laughing at the thought of that thing showing up on tiktok.
These were so crazy, my two remaining brain cells beat themselves to death through high-speed collisions with the inner wall of my skull.
Then they got raised as undead brain cells, and immediately started wailing on each-other with giant corkscrews that have fuzzy tsubas.
Considering their undead status, this situation will probably continue for the foreseeable future.
Maybe giving them sharp swords without handels, might help to resolve the situation more quickly.
"it has a handle which most swords lack." that line did more damage than a sword
I can only imagine the alternate universe, where everything is Crochet. That sword would scare people.
"it also has a handle witch most sword dont have..."
Me: dafuq?...ammm, ACORDING TO FCKING WHO?!?!?!...
Yeah swords with handles are weird. Makes it difficult to attach to my arm like a normal person would.
@@madmalkavian3857 right right...or you can allways use the force sir.
My favorite way to start the day. Pedantic sword nerd commentary. Thank you Skal. 🖤
I suspect the raison d etre of the fuzzy tsuba is that some people can't find anything unless it has hair around it.
TikTok is the fastest way to rot braincells.
Thanks for taking one for the team. Only time I watch something on Tic Tok is when somebody on CZcams makes fun of it on their channel.
This is the first time I dread what videos Skall will watch
Even this limited and filtered exposure to that accursed platform gave me a severe case of brainrot. The damage cannot ever be undone.
All a Chinese commie plot, no doubt. :-)
I think the first video was trolling.
You got me with the cliffhanger watermelon 🤣🤣🤣
Every time Zoro calls his sword I keep thinking enema too 🤣
my brain started itching at some parts but what caught my eye most was the incredibly overpowered cuts ninja-bro was doing.
I mean, his form was... something, but he swung a light two-handed sword as if it was a lead pipe he was going to bludgeon someone with.
Skall 😂 I was not prepared for this level of sass from a source other than my mirror so early in my morning. Thank you! 😂😂
Loved hearing the respectful mention of Robinswords. You two are my go-to sword guys.
"This is not your normal katana, it's shaped like a sword"
wat
I follow you for the sword-talk, but you possess a truly entertaining sense of humor. Keep up the good work!
Thanks!
I'd wiped the trauma of st anger from my memory. Thanks for the flashbacks
3:23 Certainly not for self defense. The unscrewing and screwing back in of the knobby part would take way too long.
We could feel your brain cracking trying to pore through that material bahaha xD
4:15 made with the best material for a sword: diamond
Netherite is better tho
Diamond might be too brittle.
Thanks for reinforcing my decision to avoid TikTok xd
1:00 lol the number even ends with a coma $3,000,000, wtf
Guess it didn't fit the stupid vertical format. :D
The amount of brain hemorrhaging I suffered within the first 3 minutes was incredible
I might be wrong but the thing in 4:45 might be a "stylised" version of a Chinese Sword Mace/Bar Mace or Sword Breaker
It's basically a bludgeoning weapon like a mace that is shaped like a sword
Original Chinese bar maces are mostly shaped like swords, yeah. This thing... not so much.
@@Skallagrim yeah it does look like one of those self defense pleasure masters which are apparently called keu chain strickers but longer lol. But u know close enough lmaooo
I spent years growing this brain of mine only to lose half of it to the very first TikTok video.
for the youtube stuffs, happy to see you still making stuff even if this one was late to my feed. Take care!
I am glad I found this channel! Total hilarious! Keep up the good work.
First clip sounds like someone narrated Ali express lot description and turned it into tiktok video. It is my working theory.
Chinese content farms try very hard. The sad part is this garbage still gets millions of views because children use the platform.
GenZ humor translator:
saying wrong thing = funny
frying random things = funny
weird = funny
hope this helps
I'm convinced more than half of these are procedurally generated ads. No humans involved.
For some reason, CZcams had stopped suggesting your stuff to me for quite a while. I’d forgotten how much I just enjoyed listening to you talk.
Love your videos Skallagrim
Wow. New channel logo, eh? Nice
The glass wall-hanger was cool AF
I wasn’t quite sure what I was looking at until I noticed the fuzzy tsuba, it’s a sword 😂
Haha great video Skall! Tik Tok is so cringe full of fake videos and ,,Influencers,, :D
Hi Adam, didn´t expected you here, more like Jakub or Lukáš🙏🙇⛩
@@janhornak5739 Haha i am friend with Skall at least 10+ years we made some collabs together ,))
So you want to get pedantic?
Not every functional sword is made of carbon steel. Bronze/Iron swords are functional too! ( :
They should be sharp though...
5:21 "the anatomically correct duck"
It is unique because it has a handle, made of steel, and sharp... no other sword has these features! 😮😅😂
My brain is dead by dis monstrositi
Niarb a evah llits uoy tsael ta.
Made by Chinese ticktocker using AI to speak English. Ticktock was a mistake, or was AI, or the Chinese, or maybe it was the friend we made.
Haha, awesome video😂 would love to see you do this more often 😁👍 not solely ofcourse, just more often.
Im 90% percent sure the first one is an elaborate anime joke to an anime i havent seen
7:12 "so clearly there's good content even on tiktok"
*Skips shadiversity at the start*
Classic lmao
Skallagrim's soul died a little watching these TikToks.
“I’m sure y did “ from like 1st minute i am sure this gonna be gold 😂
I think the most horrifying thing in this video was Anime Skalla.
Great video! I love your humor Skall. "Fuzzy tsuba" lol
"This sword is completely unlike other swords, because it has a handle, and it's made of steel, and it's sharp."
Oh... Okay.
The one at 3:15 should have that paramedic who shakes his head and says no.
Glad that I'm not alone with allgery from clickbaits
i am laughing so loud! the faces while you judge the narration!! not the fuzzy tsuba LMAO
The bright pink tsuka and fuzzy white suba gives this katana such a strong sextoy vibe. The ghost of a 1000 samurais wept.
"CLEARly" this wasn't intended to be functional. Nice.
"Name this" I would but I'm a bit distracted by how much my hand hurts just looking at that cane's head.
Why Skall, why, as an elder Millennial I had effectively scrubbed that song from my brain. Now it will never go away. Love you anyway. Keep up the good work.
"Well, speaking of melons..." XD
That guy's not the real life sword master, he's the real life jumping and spinning with sword master.
Thank you for your sacrifice. And, my condolences; those first few really hurt
Sword Technology will surely make huge leaps with the invention of handles and sharp blades. Can't wait to see where this goes :D
I friking DIED when he said "it also has a handle, which most swords lack." LIKE WHAT THE FRICK I DONT EVEN KNOW I CANT EVEN
" It also has a handle,which most swords lack " i realize what they meant to say but damn was it funny to hear that 😄
"This sword's blade is unique because it is sharp."
... right.
Leprechaun Skal saying "It's the fuzzy tsuba!" at 1:50 completely broke me. I spent the better part of 10 minutes actually laughing out loud. My abs hurt.
Skal, the crochet one was actually good, I'm impressed 👏
the fuzzy tsuba will soak up the blood of his enemies so his grip around the handle™won't break or slip.
I could probably go on Tik Tok claiming that my Khukuri is a Katana & everyone there will probably believe me.
02:33 That would be a sick sword in a fictional setting if it was made out of some kind of fantasy material that gave it durability. But yeah its also a sick wall-hanger.
Ever since Facebook jumped on the Tik Tok trend with reels, I've had a stream of product placement and twirly whirly sword clips every time I open the app.
"i shouldn't judge an entire platform by one video"
In this case you absolutely should
I never comment on videos but you had me on floor with Fuzzy tsuba. 😂
Love ya Skall, I just wish your videos were longer.
The dreaded Fuzzy Tsuba....It's so fluffy! 🤣
Nice to hear of you again. god påske!
Almost spat out my tea at that St Anger joke. That was amazing.