10 tips I wish I knew before getting married
Vložit
- čas přidán 7. 05. 2022
- Here's the link of the pre-marriage tips: view.flodesk.com/pages/632ed8...
Join my 4 day challenge to Thrive in your Feminine
store.thehealedsister.com/8fc...
Do you have what it takes to become a life coach? Take this quiz to find out!
5ykrhdkxfi4.typeform.com/to/K...
Join The Thriving Sister
store.thehealedsister.com/the...
Balancing the ties Summer Retreat
www.tickettailor.com/events/t...
Join the private THS newsletter for exclusive tips and stories:
view.flodesk.com/pages/634c6b...
S I M P L I F Y Y O U R L I F E
With Gousto: cook.gousto.co.uk/raf/?promo_...
C O N N E C T
Instagram: / thehealedsister
Website: soumayaettouji.com
P O D C A S T
anchor.fm/soumaya-ettouji
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast...
A B O U T
I'm Soumaya, a personal development coach who helps muslim women learn how to love themselves and become their authentic selves
C O U R S E M E N T I O N N E D
Complicated - Fiqh of Women - www.almaghrib.online/tz/
T I M E S T A M P S
00:48 Why do you want to get married?
02:52 Do you know yourself enough?
04:41 Do you love yourself?
06:30 Challenge your model of the world
07:36 Have realistic criteria
10:14 Seek islamic knowledge
11:55 Ask the right questions
14:26 Do your research
15:23 Trust your intuition
17:04 Get pre-marital counselling - Jak na to + styl
![[Ep 8] Signs You Are Ready To Get Married | Fiqh Of Love](/img/n.gif)
I am a Christian and I absolutely love this video and resonated with so much of it. Thank you for sharing such awesome guidance! When you mentioned Christians towards the end, I felt so touched! May we all continue to learn from one another and may God be with each one of us as we seek to honour Him in all ways, especially in our relationships ❤
This video is a life-saver. Too essential for everyone to watch. Jazakallahu Khair sumayyah for spreading the awareness and helping us out on taking the most crucial decision of our lives. Kudos to you!❤
U blew my mind with this i definitely have to listen to this again. I have to listen to everything on ur channel is beneficial and great
I’m a man and I have 5 sisters whom I love very deeply and unconditionally. I’m sure these questions will be of great value and help to them and I. Barakallahu feek sister
i wrote a little summary;
marriage will create more problems not solve them
find yourself first
or it will feel like you lost yourself
- [ ] attachment style
- [ ] love language
- [ ] how you like to get comforted
- [ ] past trauma
- [ ] emotional intelligence
- [ ] knowing one’s needs
- [ ] respecting yourself when someone’s not seeing your worth/self love
- [ ] what you don’t heal you attract
- [ ] what’s something in the past that you need to work on
- [ ] who are you as a person
- [ ] HEALTHY self esteem
your reality is not the ultimate reality don’t see every nice guy as prince charming that’s bare minimum there’s more to the world than you know
‘i’m never gonna find a person as good as him’that’s not the right enough reason to marry him
be realistic about your criteria
prophet (p.b.u.h.) said look for DEEN(how much is he willing to further practice it) and character(doesn’t matter if follows religion if no ikhlaq)
how to check ikhlaq
- [ ] relationship w parents
- [ ] service staff
praying five times a day is bare minimum
- [ ] does he talk to allah
- [ ] does he give charity for the sake of purifying his soul
- [ ] does he understand working on the soul just as much as working on acts of worship
seek islamic knowledge
don’t be content about what u have been taught by school or family it’s not enough
- [ ] learn rights and obligations you have as a spouse
- [ ] am i spiritually/religiously ready for this?
- [ ] important to seek knowledge form RELIABLE places to know whether things are permitted to do in the marrige cuz can’t depend on parents (figh of women al maghrib institute is a course)
when getting to know someone
- [ ] don’t put emotions on forefront and don’t develop feeling otherwise you’ll be biased because you see them as a friend who you want in your life more than someone who could potentially not be good for u
- [ ] ask valuable important questions that’ll tell if right for each other in long term (questions are in the description box)
- [ ] it’s not about talking to someone for a certain amount of time it’s about the QUALITY of the questions in that time eg u could talk to someone for 2 years and still not know vs asking important questions and know at 3 weeks
example questions
- [ ] whatre your values
- [ ] what’s important for you in life
- [ ] how practicing are you and how practicing do you want to be
- [ ] where do you want to live
- [ ] whatre your responsibilities towards your parents
- [ ] what will be my responsibilities towards your parents lmao
these things will impact your life so ask these instead of wHats your fAvOrite coLORRR??
research about the person
- [ ] don’t take what this person is saying about themselves as the truth
- [ ] ask their fam,colleagues (don’t be cringed if you don’t have the maturity to ask other people you’re probably not ready)
Trust your intuition
- [ ] don’t force yourself to marry the person even if you’ve introduced to your fam if red flags goodbye it’s not too late it’s better than getting divorce
- [ ] what you ignore in the beginning IS THE SAME THING THATLL COME BACK
- [ ] if you see a red flag confront them about it if they’re willing to work on it great otherwise BYE
if they have a trait that annoys you during talking stage know that this will be amplified in the marriage
work on yourself and you’ll attract someone that will compliment that
Allah*
JazakAllahu khayraan sister ❤
Masha Allah. Very informative. If I had had such points before my marriage, I wouldn't have been suffering. JazakAllah khair sister
This is the realist marriage advice I’ve heard in a while
I love to keep it real ❤
Here because my best friend is in divorce process. Her husband is a convert but still cheated on her. She deserves so much more. She’s the nicest person ever. Her family is already dysfunctional. But she agreed its khair from Allah.
Can her layer help me with the written muslim divorce law
@@LinahVlogs3286 she told me something about mo’akhir so i think its an agreement in the beginning before the marriage is legalized that the husband pays his wife if they were ever to divorce.
You said all the right points especially the last one about counseling much before a person gets married to know what we are really getting into and about the other person including ourself.
One of the best video on the topic. JazakAllah khayr sister.
Jazakillahu khairan Sister for your advice. I really needed this . Barakallahu fiiki .
This’s the marriage advice I ever heard 😍thank you sister ❤
Thank you darling for these tips, soooo important! ❤❤❤
Thank you very much for all this great pre-mariage questions, it 's really benefitt
Hello Soumaya. You've shared profound truths and wisdom that I can apply in my life. Thanks so much for sharing. God bless.
thank you so much for this - this is so honest
This video is GOLD. Thanks so much for this I information.
You're more than welcome ♥️
Your voice is so podcast-ible (soothing) and brilliant points 👍🏼
Thank you 🙏 jazakAllah khair
I agree
So on point.Agree to every single point to the core.
What an amazing video. Gonna share with everyone. ❤️
In this age and time , this is absolutely needed .
Sorry about your marriage and thanks for sharing this valid information and raising the need for pre-marital Counciling.
May Allah grant you a better partner that you will be happy in dunniya and hereafter, Amin.
Thank you sister, I really need this 💖
Tip one: Get therapy/work on and KNOW who YOU are
Tip two: marriage counseling BEFORE getting married. Sounds crazy, but believe a lot of expectations (among other things) will show up at that time. It’ll help you both to decide beyond “chemistry”, “intrigue”, and the fog of cultural islam, so that neither of you make a big decision based on a small interaction that didn’t present enough depth to really know how each other thinks or are as a person.
The first one! 👏🏾👏🏾 before you get married or go in to a relationship you got to work and love yourself first.
These tips are useless.
No human on earth knows you more than your learned experiences.
Instead of getting help from flawed Consolers and Therapists who only cares about their hourly rates. You should instead pray to god to lead you to the right marriage.
P.S: Personal Therapy/counseling is a new profession made after WW2 to make money out of rich people’s bullshit
Those were her first and last tips of her 10 tips list.
I would add to these two, to learn or take an assessment on personality types. It will help understand your personality and how you interact with other people, but it also helps understand other people and how they interact.
So many problems are created due to misunderstanding each other.
We understand the definition of words and actions, but misunderstand the motivation and meaning behind them. It creates chaos in a relationship.
theres no cultural islam
Thank you Soumaya 😁🙌🏽 I definitely needed to watch this video and actively listen to all the advice given. ‘We all got trauma baby 🙈🙋🏽♀️’ hehe.
Thank you for providing this information for us all so that we can make a better more informed choice. Keep up the good work sweetie xx
JazakAllah khair for watching! May Allah bless you abundantly sister ♥️
I've listened to this 3 times so far...jazak Allah kheir. You're making a difference out here ...
I love the dedication! Allahybarek fik
Truly ❤
Such golden advice. If I was younger and had the wisdom that I have today I would have told all these things to myself ! 😑
In some ways I feel I would never have reached this place/ this video because the marriage was my learning 😞
So foolish we are but also so necessary for experiential learning! You are amaaazing Soumaya. Love your attitude. Much love and blessings to you 🤗
Absolutely, it was written this way by the best of Planners for a reason Alhamdulillah ♥️
Same girll.. my marraige was the lesson.. but remember that experience is the best teacher. You cant learn marraige through a video.. so the way Allah planned it for us was the best way for us to fully understand these concepts. IA brighter days ahead
Ate and left no crumbs in regards of the information you said and how you conveyed it
such useful wisdom, thank you so much
Sister i loved this video. So eye opening. Thankyou so much for this ❤
Glad it was helpful!
Jezakellah Heir Ustaza! For Valuable Lesson!
Because of this video you have got a new subscriber 🎉
Wallahi you are like a big sis that I never had thanks❤️May allah bless you
JazakAllah khair ♥️
JazakAllah sister, yiu are so young but gave very valuable advice that I needed to hear now.
Excellent points listed.. it's amazing that guys may go through this as well.. I have learnt alot as I guy, and I wish to share this with my partner. Thank you Sumaiya. This points I will call 10 psycho commandments of Marriage ❤
Masha Allah sister. I liked your videos as soon as I watched some of them. Keep it up sister. Jazaki Allah Khairan
You speak out of my heart barakallahu fiki ❤
can you please make a video on how to deal with toxic parents who critcize you constantly, emotionally and verbally abuse you and manipulate you, beat you at times, disregard you constantly, and hurt you so much emotionally and mentally, the side effects of growing with one, and how to deal with them within the boundaries of islam ( without being disrespectful ), beat you up when you do not listen to them, try to trigger their fear in you. i love my parents, but they do have such side as well, and im honestly confused, they're sometimes good and then they're like this, i don't know what to take into consideration, ie, are they abusive or just being typical parents? is this normal or im growing up in a toxic household? i related to you so much when you said when a man's being nice and all, you think hes prince charming, it happened to me not so long ago. i talked to my mom to get me into therapy to work on myself, but then she says no, she says just read the quran and she said its not acceptable in out culture to go for therapy. how do you deal with such parents?
Asalamalaikum Sister, I been through the same. I can tell you it's not normal. In islam children have rights as well, and our parents have to treat us nicely no matter what. We are their tests and by them beating us up and calling us names, they're only failing the test. We are rewards to our parents. The best thing I can tell you to do is don't cut family ties as it's not acceptable in Islam. But have healthy boundaries. Start doing things you need to do, and not worry about your parents. DO it for Allah and nothing will go wrong. Also, speak up and tell them you dont like how they hit you or talk bad. If you don't it only makes it worse.
Therapy won't fix the problem. Those people make money off of your problems. But work on it yourself to train your mind to be strong and have boundaries.
In therapy, while it can improve relationships, or help the individual, but even counsellors are people and some might say things or have opinions that go against what you know (is wrong for them to say) or is not Islamic.
@@zainy2325 Walaikum Salam. JazakAllah for the advice but its really my dad, hes abusive and tried beating my mom several times, he has done other terrible things as well but my mom wont leave him. the only thing i hold up to is not reliving the same when i grow up for that i dont want to stay in contact with my dad. cause i dont want his behaviour to show up in me as the more i am with him the more influenced i am.
@@zainy2325 i started creating boundaries with my dad ever since he doesent tell me much or beat me but he does it when he gets angry. i do have boundaries with him but he abuses my mom, and my lets him do it
Very helpful! Jazak Allah khair😊
Subhanallah! What a great loss for the brother who let you go. My duas are with you sisters🤲🏼
Inner worth/self confession
Why do you want to get married?
1. Check your intentions
Everything is manageable when you are with the right person
2. Get to know yourself
Know your temperament, childhood trauma, love language, how you like to be comforted, etc. Know how to express yourself.
3. Love yourself and accepting yourself. To avoid toxic relationships. Heal your abandonment/rejection wounds. Protect your self esteem.
4. Challenge your world model, your views.
5. Be realistic. Be smart. How important is deen? Character. Religiosity.
6. Seek knowledge from reliable sources. Roles and rights in marriage. Halal/Haraam.
7. Friend attachment creates bias and clouds your judgement. Stay impartial and ask important key questions.
8. Get the family involved. They will help you make the right decision and see something you might not see.
9. Do research as you would in business. Character references. Family and friends. Will you fit in with their world? Are there any red flags? What you ignore at the beginning is what will you will find most difficult.
10. How they communicate and resolve difficulties.
Meet and discuss with an Imam.
I think ur absolutely right
God bless u sister
Masha Allah. Thanks for these great info for the sister. As a man I want all our sisters to marry a great man. If you are not a great man, you have to work yourself before you desire to marry. Understanding each other as male and female, is very important
❤🇨🇦
i loved this! xx thank youu
I absolutely love this ...Thankyou ❤ xx
shukran JazakAllah for this life-saving advice.
Thanks so much for sharing this
so useful tips sis JAZAKALLAH KHAIR ❣
Great video thank you ❤
thank you thank you thank you!!! May Allah bless you with a better marriage, a better spouse that have the same values, end goals as you! truly something for me to learn from.
Shayteen live in the human body!!!
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire
43:62, Qur'an
[So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you -
36:62, Qur'an
[For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason?
15:39 - 40, Qur'an
[For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them."
38:84 - 85, Qur'an
[So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together."....
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)
This is a very valuable video and extremely important for both men and women. You are a wise and wonderful person, Allah bless you. This is helping others 💜
@clementeen Mayl Allah S.W.T bless you too.
Amazing amazing advice ❤
I've watched some of your other videos and I just wanted to say Salam as a fellow Moroccan young woman :) the content you post is very inspiring. I struggle with the notion of respect in my relationships, especially with male figures like my father and I wondered if you had any recommendations of books that would help with that? (Arabic/English, I don't mind) Jazakallahoukhair for your work
Bless u sister you covered every nook and cranny ❤❤❤ may Allah swt bless u the best in this life and the hereafter
I thought I am done when you talk about their deen, but I am glad I didn't turn off the video. You made extremely important point. Just practicing the deen is not everything, its what inside and how approach to Allah and his creation that also mattet❤
Wise advice sister ❤
I don't have any courage to step out of toxic marrige no one cares about me I'm definitely lost now I don't earn I'm just lost in all areas of my life
Ooohhh sister, May Allah bless you ease just have courage and don't lose hope ❤
You have Allah then yourself. That’s enough!🙏🏻
Full of wisdom.Jazakallau
love your posts..masha Allah.very relatable and just at the right time for me and many women and mothers i know, in our country and all over. shukran.
Jazakallah khair for the feedback my love, I'm glad it resonated
❤ Bless you for this video ❤
I do love watching you talking ..
Jazaakillahu khayran sister 🥰 ,we need part 2 to this🥺
Shayteen live in the human body!!!
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire
43:62, Qur'an
[So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you -
36:62, Qur'an
[For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason?
15:39 - 40, Qur'an
[For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them."
38:84 - 85, Qur'an
[So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together."....
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)
Mashallah...zazak allahu khairan....
It really helped me....
May Allah grant you a spouse ....in whom you may find peace.🤗
Alhamdullilah I am only 22 but as a man I learned from other ppl marriages and I understood these points already with exception of ignoring some things u wish could be better for example girl wishes to meet her family regularly but u wish to move to different country and Allah knows best sometimes we have to move to find better job or living when life changes around u.
I believe we need to have healthy sacrifices to match with one another in big things and small things I have seen couples fight over doing few dishes. So I dont believe in being rigid piece of puzzle that someone needs to mold into fit with me or be rigid piece herself that just alligns perfectly.
I believe in both molding together to complete one another and be mindful of ur judgement and decisions knowing that Allah knows what is in ur heart truly.
I agree with you
I think that marriage is going to be the hardest thing to me as a shy person who can't talk with people because of shyness, I can't even speak with a cashier without getting slurred, I can't imagine with my future in law, may Allah make it easier for me.
shyness is a sign of modesty and haya and this type of trait is beloved in Allah swt's eyes, so dont worry too much about it and Allah will take care of the rest
@@Right_Air_8042 in Shaa Allah
@@jihan9344while I agree with the above comment, you should try to speak up with your future in laws. Practice now so it’s easier for you. Meaning practice to speak two sisters if you’re shy, because there will come a time where you will have to meet your future husbands family and talk etc. your husband may not always be there to sit and comfort you. Understand? I was also very shy but learned that I can’t always be shy with ppl. I judge the situation I’d that makes sense. I’ve been married now almost 15 years so this isn’t coming from nowhere. Be strong my dear sister. When you’re married you need strength. Be shy, yes, this is part of modesty and hayah, but learn when to be able to engage if you have to. Understand?
@@takemypainaway9517 yes you are right, I wil try my best in Shaa Allah, jazak Allahu khairan ukhty
Hi there, I have the same problem but the more you learn about yourself and grow by getting the knowledge needed you will eventually get away with your shyness!
Primarily, it’s hard but with time it gets better.
Bundle of tnx sister
Assalamualaikum sister! You're totally right! It happened with me. My marriage was another cage where I was in. Alhamdulillah I helped myself out of that and now I'm divorced. And that's the best decision I made in my life! Now I Iive focused, working on myself and my life gets better, ALHAMDULILLAH ❤
Do u have kids? And what are doing professionally?
May I ask where I can find the questions to ask before marriage? You have so much wisdom to share, did not expect to stumble across this on youtube today.
Salaam Stella - if you'd like to email us on salam@soumayaettouji.com requesting the pre-marriage questionnaire I will get it sent across to you inshAllah
Mashallah sister very smart and intelligent sister. I'm happy i find your channel
Great work sis duas for you x
Can you forward the questions to ask a potential spouse before marriage please, especially if the potential spouse is divorced. Thank you.
JazakAllah you saved a life
Wa iyyaki and Alhamdulillah ♥️
Treasure💎 BarakaAllah feeky🥰💝
Thank you very much
This is gold! JazakAllahu khair sister 🌸
Wa iyyaki ♥️
Asalamu'alaykum w rahmatuAllahi w barakatu sister. Allahu Akbar. I have been feeling empty, sad, and alone after a situation that happened between me and another person of interest. It's almost unbearable. I have an older sister Alhamdolilah bes im the only muslim in the family. So I don't have anyone to talk to me about love, life, and Islam altogether. I am 20 years old now. I want to get married but I've been healing and finding parts of me that I want to change before I make bug life changes. In shaa Allah I can become the version if myself that will please Allah the most. Ibalready feel like you are like an older sister for me giving me this advice😂❤ I loved the premarital counseling advice as well. Thank you, sister. May Allah reward you abundantly in so many ways, and ways you never expected. May Allah grant you all afiyah and Jannatul firdaus without reckoning or questioning on the Day of Judgment. You know, sometimes horrible things happen, but it's all for such a beautiful reason. You going through what you went through led you to make a youtube channel that helps spread awareness and knowledge about life as a muslim which is a form of guidance from Allah. When Allah lives a servant, he uses them for goodness. Allahu Akbar, thank you sister. Thank you for such beautiful, helpful, useful and wise advice. I love you for the sake of Allah! ❤
Allah Ta'ala aap ko khush rakhey aur aap ki zindagi mein barkatein ata farmaye.
this is so true👍
can't agree more. love
Subhallah such pearl's of wisdom 💎💎 bless you sister 💝🌹
Thank you for the video. Can you please add the pre-marital questionnaire link? Thanks.
We're currently redesigning it! If you're subscribed to our newsletter, you'll receive the new and updated version once it's ready in your emails inshaAllah
felt sad that you got divorced but believe in allah almighty is the greatest may allah(s.w.a.t) grant u patience and will power : ameen
Thank u, its important conversasion, jntresting and informative.
Please note, there is no perfection marriage instead
NB. The reality is that marriage brings more problems, challenges than it can solve.
3. In addition, There is no perfect partner,
Very confident individual. Hope her loss help many people including me.
i think the issue is lying to urself to make it work. be ok with being alone and not forcing a relationship to work.
This video is so right, it makes me sad lol. I downloaded the premarriage questionnaire and realized how incompatible my fiancé and I are😢
May Allah make it easy for you
That's why tasawauf , spiritualism is so important. Cleaning our heart
We all have got trauma baby. Awesome ❤ thanks a lot sis
Alhamdulilah, amazing.
MachaAllah sis! I recognize a lot of mistakes😂..pff may Allah guide us
You deserve the best in life and in the afterlife in shaa Allah. 😍🥰
Inner work is needed nowadays, because of social media. Because people are lonely, afraid what if cheating and other things happen to them. Also the thinking that everyone is for themselves. Especially for women, that everyone wants me to be unhappy, etc.
Social media, facebook, netflix really twisted our love language and mindset.
I cant find pre-marriage Qs link? can you share again?
I love you so much.
May Allah reward you abundantly.
sister you are really amazing mash Allah may Allah continue to bless
As'salamu alaikum sister, where can I find the marriage questions link?
Could u please put the premarriage questionnaire? i didn't find it in the description box, and thanks a lot🥰
If you'd like to email us at salam@soumayaettouji.com requesting the pre-marriage questionnaire I will send it across to you
JazakAllah
Assalamu Alaikom Soumaya thank you so much for this valuable video may Allah Subhan bless you. One thing that’s very difficult is to get to know someone inner akhlaq/character behaviour because they don’t show up their real self and until you live with them you don’t really get to know them well especially nowadays
Can you give some tips on how one can get to know someone? Thanks again 🌷
That's true and why ppl are told to make astikhara.
If they don't show their true self before marriage, more likely they are the wrong one! Of course sometimes it is through situations that one's character reveals. Having fun is the easy part but is not what is the most important
It s soo easy but many girls are naive, looking to other things rather than red flags. 2nd: They don t take the time to really know him and marry fast, the man don t get exposed because of this hurrying. I am not married yet, but if i will, i will look at how he laughs, how he sits, the way he talks, and how he thinks about women. His voice is there any arrogance? Toxic male something. Does he has anger issues? Controlling sides?.
What are his weak sides? If he says i have none, i think i am good and have 0 faults he means whatever problem occurs in the future, it will never be my fault. He doesnt hold himself accountable which is a leading reason to divorce. Does he answer with, easily angered, that is a huge redflag. So it s important to look how he is personality wise, dont look at his beard, he praying salah or that he has money no, look at his character.
My friend married twice and divorced twice, both "praying" men, and both were abusive to her beat her. She told me she had to flew the house and went to her mothers. So that s that. I know a lot because ive seen a lot, as a virgin 31 year old muslim woman.
@@Diamondraw4Realthis isn t enough. First our sisters and everyone who want to marry should look to his character. Is he a good man or a bad man.
Same, made the wrong decision (he was abusive) and I'm -alhamdullilah - divorced.
As Salaam Alaikum Wa Rehmat Ullahi Wa Barkatahu dear sister, your absolutely correct and practical, every word you said Alhamdullilah very much true worth of billions dollars, being a Men , I am going through divorce due to I ignored many facts at the time of my marriage to one girl belong to different fiq of Islam and day after marriage she started behaving very strange and once she came to US she ran away and she always did what you described and she treat me as infedal and started had extra marital affairs finally I paid my price by ignoring at pre-marital preparation with her where I saw many faults against marriage requirements and finally she ran away and filled divorced, I wish I could have know at the time of marriage Alas
Sister I just found a guy that was so sweet to his family to people to everyone. He prayed, read Quran but even then I saw that this man had controlling tendencies, he was low key judgmental and almost had a holier than thou persona. He had an extremely close relationship with his mother and family and relatives that I thought was wonderful at first until his mother started pushing me to make sure to dress a certain way. It was very pushy and when I brought it to him he definitely wanted to enable it. This brother was divorced previously. When I brought important questions to him initially he would be open but as time progressed he would shift blame and tell me I do what in fact he was doing. It sucks because he put this facade and now I know that if I had married him his family would overpower my life, he would emotionally manipulate me, guilt trip me and turn things around on me and constantly gaslight me. Alhumdullah Allah protected me but it was painful to see that outwardly righteous person was more sinister than I could ever imagine.
😔 I'm sorry you went through this sis but must have been Allah's will. I really hope you have become wiser now and that Allah blesses you with a soul that is very good for you. Sending lots of hugs ❤
How do you do background check when you meet the guy on an app in another city and you have no data on who are the friends of this person?