everything going on in my life right now
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
- kind of a life update and why things have been so challenging lately. also the intro to a series of me starting to get my life together again and feel more in control. cleaning and cooking content coming your way soon.
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tiktok | @possessedbyhorror & @possessedbymotherhood
email | sarahhawkinson@gmail.com
twitter | #!...
horror channel | bit.ly/1h7ZKUF
Losing a parent was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, and I couldn’t imagine doing it as a new mama. Much much love to you. Be gentle with yourself and let yourself feel it when you can ❤
BOOK RECOMMENDATION: How to keep house while drowning by K.C. Davis. It's about keeping a functional space when everything is terrible. And it works. Good luck, Sarah ❤️
You look like Miley Cyrus
That book is a real game changer!
Came to the comments to recommend this! I can't stress enough how good this book is for helping you take care of yourself and having self-compassion. Highly highly recommend!
Amazing book! Second this!
Oh Sarah, I’m so sorry.
I just had my first baby on May 6th, and also lost my father on May 22nd. I understand feeling like you don’t know how you’re processing, because the combination of these events is so surreal.
I’m grieving with you, and processing with you, as a long-time viewer, peer and fellow new mom. ❤️
- Elle
skimble coming to sit with you when you were struggling was such a sweet moment 😭🤍
she always knows 🥲
Sarah, I watched you since I´ve been 15 years old. I am 23 now. With your honesty, personal growth and cool, unapologetic authenticity you have been such a role model for me. I think I have never called anyone my role model. But you really feel like a youtube big sister. You dealing with your life despite all the struggle that is part of it, really makes me feel like I can deal with mine. I wish you all the best. Take good care! Much love from Germany
me too❤
I’m sorry for your loss, Sarah ❤ I know it’s not the same but my cat I’ve had for 13 years passed two weeks ago when I was 32 weeks pregnant. so excited for you to be posting on this channel more. My baby is due in one month. Your pregnancy and motherhood content has been so helpful for me!
Sarah, I know where you are. I lost my dad at 14. I was not ok for a very long time. I'm still not ok in certain ways even to today. It is TOTALLY OK NOT TO BE OK. You're on the right track with your coping mechanisms, because journaling helped me. It's so therapeutic! And it gave me a record of all the memories I would have forgotten. And those were not just about the time my dad passed, but the past memories of when I was 13 and below with my dad, the ones that I didn't want to forget as my memory forgets. And, if anything, you can capture those memories for Fern! She won't know much about her grandfather when she's older unless you tell her. By writing down your thoughts, your memories, those things that you want to have a permanent reminder of, capture those memories; and they'll be stories you can save for her (and for you!). Be her memory.
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You've got a lot of things you want to do, and all of those are healthy, but at the same time, everything has to be a balance. You need to be the best YOU you can be mentally and emotionally, and it is very, VERY easy to push through and keep doing things without taking the time to mourn. You'll have some ups and downs with mourning; some days, you will be fine, and others, you'll be a mess. Beginning or ending grief periods won't happen overnight. It's impossible to say how long it will take because everyone's situation is different; everyone's relationships with their dads is going to be different. But, be careful not to push grieving aside in favor of trying to "get back to normal". Nothing will ever be normal again: you will always feel that loss. You'll want to share things with him, tell him things, have him there for major events in life. Loss is hard, but it can be livable. It can have its bright days. You can reach a point where you will find peace with it. The hurt doesn't stop, but it does lessen over the years, as long as you keep moving forward. That only happens when you give yourself time to process and accept what happened.
I will warn you now, your wedding day will be one of the best days, and one of the worst, in your life. I couldn't go to a wedding without crying for about 10 years after my dad passed. I knew there were things I wouldn't have because of my dad's death. In order to enjoy the moment, you will need to prepare yourself for that before the day comes.
Cry. Be mad. Be devastated. Be human. And process your feelings. YOU ARE VALIDATED IN EVERYTHING YOU FEEL. No one gets to tell you how to feel, or how long to be in any emotional state, but please... Be careful. Don't get stuck in despair. Without accepting your "new normal", without growing from it, enduring it, and moving on from the pain of loss (eventually), you can get stuck reliving it, and emotionally stunting yourself. You won't move on from the loss itself, but you can move on from the majority of how much it hurts.
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Lastly, please, please keep talking. Talk to your fiance. Talk to a friend. Talk to somebody. When you mentioned what happened to you, I reached out on Instagram, because I hoped that you had someone to talk to. I meant it when I said when I said you could message me- I'd be a crying shoulder and listen to you if you wanted that. I'm no stranger to loss, and I can take a beating with it if I have to... Or, help someone else carry that burden. I've been there. Reach out if you want to.
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Above all, take care of yourself. Take care of Fern. Take care of your fiance (as he will take care of you). And know that you don't have to bear your burdens or sorrows alone.
-Sarah G
This hit really hard for me. I also had a very difficult pregnancy/postpartum because of outside life circumstances and only now, when when my son is 5 and a half years old, do I feel like I'm beginning to truly come out of it and feel like things are back on track. I have been thinking a lot about trying to get things on track in a similar way you and so many other commenters are. Thank you so much for sharing ! We are all in this together ❤
Oh mama, feeding is so hard. My daughter and i went through the ringer, lots of tears and having to resort to exclusive pumping. Its hard. My baby rejecting my breast still hurts so I FEEL this. Every once in a while i find myself still try but she just wont and inknow how hard it is to try to be ok with that feeling. It feels like a blow especially after having the birth not go to plan (mine didnt go to plan at all) and still miss being able to nurse my baby as she has completely refused the breast for two months now. All this to say is you arent alone and zero people should be jusging you.
Guess you can tell your daughter now that she was an independent spirit from the start.
So sorry about your father passing and the struggles you had with breastfeeding! I’m happy to hear the baby is happy and healthy, wishing you the best tackling your list and here’s to getting life back on track! You got this! ❤
I was just watching Podcrushed and Julia Louis-Dreyfus was talking about her dad passing and how she felt like the similarities between someone passing is the same as someone giving birth. I’m paraphrasing this awfully but she said there’s a feeling of awe and mystery surrounding the two. I hope you give yourself grace through this time of grief and understand that you are doing your best ❤❤❤
I’m so sorry about losing your dad. I lost my mom 3 years ago a couple days after my birthday. Honestly, it has taken me years to process. Everyone is different when it comes to processing grief, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Just give it time. ❤
Girl I hear you. My baby (now 8weeks) has been a slow gainer the whole time and it’s been so stressful. We went through exclusively nursing, combo feeding, pumping, back to exclusively nursing for now. It’s all so exhausting. Just some solidarity from another new mom over here. We’re doing our best!
I’m so sorry for your loss:( i lost my dad unexpectedly last year and it’s never easy. You’re an amazing mom and thank you for being vulnerable and honest!
Oh, Sarah. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Your brain, heart and body have been through a lot lately. I’ve been struggling with a lot as well, and having a chaotic environment has absolutely added to it. I’ve learned to chip away at it as you can, but allow yourself to go at whatever pace you need to without feeling guilty for not doing more. You can only do what you’re equipped for at any moment, and that’s forever changing. Wishing you all the healing and peace. 💜
I am a new mom, as well. Oh my god, the moment you said “feeding my baby” I rolled my eyes, because we are having challenges in that department as well. I am also pumping and giving formula and it is very stressful, but I am determined to give him as much breast milk as possible. I went to a lactation consultant, tried all I could to keep him on the breast only, but sometimes it’s just not possible. At the end of the day, what’s important is that they are fed.
I stopped alcohol for a month and loved the positive effects so much that I continued being alcohol free. I feel much less anxious and depressed. I no more hangover, which were impossible to deal with with 2 young kids. That’s my 2 cents ❤
I switched to alcohol free beers where ever I craved a drink it’s been working amazingly for me!
We love you Sarah. Give yourself some grace going through so much change.
I'm sorry for your loss, Sarah. I lost my dad to suicide when I was ten and it's affected me in a lot of different ways at various points throughout my life. Prioritize yourself and take the time you need to feel your feelings and process what this new life looks like. As far as hobbies and positive stimulation, I highly recommend knitting! I started in the last year and quickly became my favourite thing to do while listening to a podcast or watching something. Can just focus on the stitches/pattern and not overwhelming and intrusive thoughts.
You are so naturally gorgeous Sarah! I am so happy that you are sharing some of your motherhood journey. I really want to be a mom some day, but I also have so many fears deep down about it. I’ve always really identified with you and hearing about motherhood from you makes me so much less afraid. 😊
I highly recommend the It’s Always Sunny podcast! Very funny and sure to be uplifting
With my first kiddo I oversupplied like a mad woman. With my second I was not and I was so worried about him getting enough, it was all in my brain, he was fine, but his pregnancy was really hard and I was not doing well after his birth either. You’re doing great. Being a parent is so hard. It hurts something deep inside me when they don’t want food I make, which is obviously a lot different from breastfeeding, but I get it. My oldest is almost 7 (we share a birthday!) and my youngest will be 5 in July and I really only feel like I’m coming back to myself in the last maybe maybe 2 years. It’s wild. You’re doing great and you should be really proud of yourself. I’m sorry about your loss and I wish you and your family the best.
Podcast Recommendation : A slob comes clean. About decluttering and organising by someone who isn't naturally decluttered and organised.
CZcams channel : More Hannah. A CZcamsr who has a baby. You might find it interesting.
i lost my dad a little over three and a half years ago. it’s still something that i’m processing and it still impacts my life, but as time passes you get used to carrying the weight of it. for me, it doesn’t really get easier or lighter to carry but the more i go about my day to day the more i get used to the weight of it. i lost my dad one month before my eighteenth birthday and i moved out and started college within a few months, not to mention the covid pandemic hit the united states three months after my dad’s passing. i can definitely understand the sheer amount of stressors hitting all at once. every day just has to be taken one day at a time, and there will be things that used to be easy that will become challenging or impossible and you’ll just have to learn to give yourself grace. it took me like two years to be ready to begin processing the loss in therapy, there’s no timeline of how you’re “supposed” to heal. wishing the best for you + your family. ❤
i’m so sorry for your loss! we have so much in common its crazy. journaling has always been my savior, it really empties out your mind so u can focus on the present. i hope everything comes together for u. u have a support system here online. thank you for being so open to sharing this part of yourself, its helpful and inspiring 🫶🏾
I lost my dad when I was 16 and the 9th anniversary was this year in April. 9 years and I still don’t think I’ve processed it. I’m finally in a place where I was able to take a day off work on the anniversary and I’m happy I did because I cried all day. And then me and my brother went to the movies to see Evil Dead. Going to the movies was something we always always did with my dad. And not having a parent, especially when your baby is so young is HARD. It really kills me that my daughter (18 months) will never know him. And he will never know me as a mom. I will say, in the future, when anniversaries come up don’t feel like you have to make these big grand gestures and like anything needs to be perfect. Do something as simple as go to the movies. Something that y’all did together, or brings warm memories. Do not stress yourself about it. It should be easy on you and bring you a level of solace. When I want to have cry fest and dwell on the sadness my go to movie is Fathers & Daughters with Russell Crowe and Amanda Seyfried. It’s a phenomenal movie but it’s also gut wrenching and will messss you up emotionally. But that’s okay. It’s okay not be okay with it all the time. Not sure why I feel like I can give advice on this when I don’t think I’ve ever fully processed his passing. But idk, as someone who lost my dad at such a trivial time like you, I feel so much empathy. Plus, I’ve watched your channel for years and I just love you and would never wish this on you (on anyone really but you know what I mean). I wish you nothing but the best and I hope your heart heals as evenly as possible 💜
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're doing better, please take your time to heal. sending love♥
You are doing great and I can’t commend you enough for being so transparent throughout this time. I know it’s easy to think that you should be “adapted” by now to being a mother but it’s such an intricate process because raising a child is different day to day and always changing. It feels a little out of control a lot of the time and, at least for me, part of becoming adjusted is embracing that. I completely understand being too hard on yourself because my son is almost 4 and I still am too hard on myself everyday because, while the challenges are different than they were when he was a newborn, we hit new challenges everyday and I’m constantly worried I’m not making the right choices or doing enough. I think it’s amazing how open you’re being and I’m here for it!
Sarah, I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine. I have tears for your family and I am wishing you all strength during this time.
Sarah, I am so sorry for your loss. It’s totally okay you couldn’t film during the time, and even without those kind of circumstances, it’s also okay to not film. Your health and your family come first.
Watching this vlog was helpful to me as a creator. I’ve been out of video ideas and not doing well with any aspect of my health, so I just haven’t filmed. But this video showed me that I can just sit down and talk and that’s enough, if that’s what I want to do, so thank you. ❤️
Oh also *edit* if you’re still into psychology I recommend the book No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz. It’s a book about Internal Family Systems therapy and I bet that modality could be helpful to you while you’re figuring things out with your mental health. I find it really interesting, personally!
I'm so so sorry for your loss, Sarah. I've followed your channel for years and have always looked up to you. I lost my brother two years ago and watching your content was one of the only things that made me feel better and forget about the pain and grief I was suffering through. Be gentle with yourself, take all the time you need to grieve, your followers will still be here when life calms down for you. Also this is a bit unconventional, but something that really really helped me with my grief was doing a sensory deprivation tank. Especially as a new mom I think it would be a great way to relax and sit with your thoughts. Love you and your content, wish you the best during this difficult time.
i lost two family members in the span of seven months and i was sort of numb, i tried to rationalize everything and i kept telling myself that i could get through things, but in reality i was just not facing it as i had a lot of responsibility in my hands, slowly but surely my mind and soul started bringing emotions to surface and i allowed myself to cry and feel everything even if it was uncomfortable, accept things even if i didn't like the outcome or if they were "fair" and that took me about a year and a half.... now i feel like I'm dealing with loss in a lighter and gentler way, i personally cant really say that dealing with grief gives a sense of perfect closure after all, but there's a feeling of healing and relief, i feel like a different person but dsy by day I'm also accepting that, im so proud of you for trying your best and being kind to yourself, keeping yourself busy definitely helps but remind yourself to also decompress and rest!! you can do this!! can i recommend you a book called, Life Lessons by Elisabeth Kubler, it helped me so much around the time ❤
Podcast recommendations: Scared to Death and Timesuck. Dead Meat is probably already on your radar since it's so similar to your PbH channel.
My sister was in the process of getting divorced when she got pregnant by her new boyfriend. So she has gotten pregnant, divorced, stopped depression meds, moved, and got into a new relationship all within a year. She has made so many changes and set new goals and boundaries.
Moms are so powerful and awe-inspiring. I can't believe the sacrifice and dedication motherhood takes. I'm speechless at all that y'all have to endure and still put your kids first. So much respect.
We love you Sarah, this community is here for you ❤
I’m sorry for your loss. I appreciate you sharing this vulnerable part of your life. I want to commend you for being an awesome mom and showing up for her everyday. I lost my dad in 2019 and my mom last year, and 6 months ago I moved for the first time, and it’s been a struggle. I thought I was coping with it then, but I’ve realized I haven’t and it’s just hitting me hard and have developed anxiety and panic attacks. It’s been a struggle… so just want to commend you again for being a mom everyday. ❤❤
My kid never latched properly so I've almost exclusively pumped from day 1. I have a freezer full but now it turns out he has the cow milk protein allergy so he can't use the freezer milk 🙃
I lost my dad unexpectedly a year ago, sending you and your loved ones lots of love and strength ❤️
Hi Sarah, I’ve been watching you for so long (like since the cut off shorts tutorial days). I want to thank you for sharing this with us. I lost my dad a year ago and I can relate to the feeling of everything going wrong and not knowing how to cope. I don’t have any grand wisdom to share, but just know that I understand how you’re feeling, and I truly believe that everything is going to be okay ❤
Hey Sarah,
long(ish)-term watcher here and I do agree you had so much on your plate there... truly one of the hardest things in life to lose a parent, and just when there was already so much going on. Sending you much strength and hopefully periods of happiness in these challenging times!! I've gone through a mentally rough patch this winter and your videos have continually been a source of calmness, entertainment (especially your thrift hauls and food videos) and just a thing I could come back to! Greetings from Vienna, Austria xx
I lost my dad this past April, it was unexpected, but not entirely surprising. . I thought I worked through the raw emotions and I had time to cope while we waited for his ashes; it really set in once we got them 😮💨. . Everybody says it, but really cry if you have to, feel what you have to and some days you'll really only be able to do the basics; that's enough sometimes. We're stuck in the midst of estate proceedings as well, I know it's a lot, but I really hope the pain eases for you soon ❤
I was wondering where you have been, I haven't seen you post much. I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. Take as much time as you need off
Sending you good good vibes and positive energy Sarah. Making the steps is all that counts it won’t matter how long it takes because you’ll get there eventually and before you even realize it!
Sarah, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your grief really resonates with me. I lost my parents well before their time and navigating motherhood without them has been extremely hard. Thinking of you.
💜💜💜
Becoming a mother has been a huge...life and identity shift to experience and come to terms with (which I expected, but still), bubba is 10 months old and I feel like I'm still mostly just 'surviving' and working things out. The chronic sleep deprivation and juggling work and my marriage while being a new mum has been/is tough. I couldn't imagine trying to do that while losing a parent myself 😥
I used to watch you so much on all your channels and I just stopped watching youtube for a bit. Just started watching again and your channel was one of the first I had to get back to! I can't believe your a mom now, congratulations!!!! So sorry to hear you're having a rough time, but you have so much support. Even from strangers on the internet! ;p I think your list is full of great ideas to help. Just remember to be patient and gentle with yourself. You're learning and sometimes you just have to take it day by day. You can do this! ❤
I havent watched your channel in a while, but i saw this vid in my subscriptions n clicked. The biggest smile came to my face when you said you're a mom!! I would watch your old videos ablut mental health because they made me feel less alone, abd that someone else was overcoming the struggle too. And I'm so happy to see you continuing to live a full life despite every trials n tribulation so .. congratulations!!!! And thank you for sharing your life on this channel.
Have so much grace for yourself! You’re dealing with a LOT as you said. I think moving, having a baby, and a family death are the top 3 most stressful things you can do, and doing them all at once is a lot. Sometimes not coping is coping. And recognizing that you are ready to move out of that stage is part of the process. You are doing the best you can and that is more than enough! Looking forward to this series and seeing your healing journey. You got this ❤
I relate so strongly to this! I had my son in lockdown, moved in with my parents when he was 3 months old then moved again interstate when he was 6 months old to a city where we had some family but knew noone. I was so thankful to my family, my husband and my son at the time but it I wish I had looked after myself a bit more during all of that. I hope you reach your goals and even if you don't, the fact you've even made them is amazing ❤
For a book recommendation- Empathy and Eyebrows
I am sorry for the loss of your dad. Mine passed away a year ago. It is a huge loss and a long process to finalize everything for someone’s estate on top of being a new mom and in a new place. Be gentle, be patient, release your emotions when they come. As time passes you’ll feel like you’re ok and then a wave will hit, let it go through you. It will always hurt but you will learn to adapt your life around the grief. Sending hugs and strength to process this
i hope ur successful w ur list! i recently lost my grandma after being her caregiver for the past 3 years ): it was so sudden but i am trying to continue to work and stay focused ❤ sending u love
I can relate a lot to this - I recently moved out for the first time with my partner, not long after losing my brother and it’s been so hard adjusting to all the changes and going through the emotions. Thank for you sharing your struggles and how you’re trying to manage everything, I definitely think I’ll take some of those ideas on board! We’ve got this!
I lost my dad in November, after 30 days I found an apartment after months of searching moved to other side of the city got a better job. The numbness is real it's totally normal.
I’m sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for your loss. I had a baby and lost my dad this past year as well and I know what you mean with showing up for your kids- having to keep it together for them has helped me so much throughout all of this. I wish you all the best healing through this ❤️🩹 been watching you for a while and my second baby is about the same age as yours but you just seem so sweet and I hope it gets better with time
you got this 👍🏻sounds like you are getting through it! i can’t imagine how hard that would be. when i was born, there was a wildfire that almost burned down our house 2 months later, and 3 months after that, my dad passed away unexpectedly. it left my mom alone in a house with no electric heat in the dead of winter with a 5 month old baby and her family 1,000 miles away. i can’t even begin to imagine how low that could make a person feel. but she persevered for my sake, and found strength she never knew she had. so, i feel that you have that in you too. i believe in you, you can do it, but i can’t imagine how hard it must be. ❤️
Try folk dancing. It's so fun and you don't need a partner And it's a good way of learning about different types of music 🎶
Oh Sarah, I’m so sorry for your loss. You’ve had such an impactful year in all the ways one can. You’re doing great! Sending you love, hugs, and strength from one Mom/human to another. 💜
i've always been really into the fantasy genre and i have been rereading the percy jackson series! i read them in middle/high school and it's been really cathartic to do that again. if you have any book series you loved as a kid i highly recommend doing that
I lost my dad and my childhood dog within 6 months of each other. This was over a year ago and I still haven’t processed either of them. It is so difficult to go through and I think that people don’t understand that the grieving process isn’t linear. It can take a couple months or it can take several years until life feels better again. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope things get better for you💖
sarah, i’m so sorry to hear about your dad. i hope you know how much you’re loved and seen for the incredible person and mother you are! give grace to yourself and keep going 🫶
From on anxious person to another who found you and bonded with you because I felt we were so similar, I'm so proud of you. You've done so much and you're handling life so well, even when you don't feel like you are. You're a badass person, mom and kid. You should be so proud of yourself. You're showing up for yourself and your baby. And that's all you need to do.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you and your family so much love.
I'm so sorry about your dad. You are doing a great job but that list sounds like a great one.
I'm so sorry about losing your father, Sarah... that is a ton on your plate all at once! One of these - having a baby, moving, and loss - is stressful and painful enough! I personally don't ever see your venting out of these valid topics as complaining. Parenthood is the hardest job in the UNIVERSE! It's the most important so YEAH! Vent away, I'm a mother to an autistic daughter so nothing you talk about will turn me off. I've been THROUGH a lot! I won't even offer advice as every situation is different. You raising your baby the way you want and feel is right... IS RIGHT! That's the biggest pet peeve I had as a first time mom... and it takes a village. Not just a sentimental phrase. I had so many teachers, coordinators and therapists helping me with my kiddo's well-being, I am immensely grateful for their support and service! But it came down to what felt right in my intuition and instinct. It does kick in for each mom, I firmly believe that, we just need for it to be allowed and not drowned in unasked for advice. I've watched you for quite a few years now and I know you've got this, I've always felt you were a badass. Be good to yourself, that's all I will say. Sending you extra love!
I have been loving the Radiolab podcast! Also, as a new mom myself, the public library has been a game changer. I take my son in the stroller and we just wander around the library for like 15 minutes and it really makes me feel accomplished and like I did something fun outside of the house lol
hi Sarah, im sorry for your loss. ive been watching your videos since i was maybe 16 and now im 29. hope everyting works out for u
I am so sorry, sending love ❤ and keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Losing a parent while being a new mom must be so emotional and difficult.
I’m agnostic but randomly I came across NDE (near death experience) videos where people experience living on, seeing light, feeling immense love and experiencing “heaven”. I found that when my mom had to go to the ER for high blood pressure (arthritis meds messing it up) and I was super anxious. These videos were actually really calming for me and eased my anxiety.
one of my biggest fears is my mom dying before I have a child and her never meeting them. I only have my mom, one parent, too. But I’m also feeling conflicted on if I want to become a parent because of the responsibility and life change. It feels like I need to do so much before I can be a parent (financially, mental health, and I need to learn to drive). It’s hard. I hate feeling conflicted and stagnant and this decision is one of them that feels so time sensitive.
My condolences hun ❤ And as you've been going through these challenges, I want you to know you've been a wonderful mother to Fern this entire time. She's lucky to have such a thoughtful, caring, and badass mom
I also lost my dad recently and Wonderful! podcast has really helped me by being a fun positive little listen here and there! Sending lots of good vibes! ❤
I'm a brand new mum to a 5 day old tootie. She was 5 weeks early and my milk hadn't come in. I so understand the feeling of pressure from ourselves though I would NEVER put that on anyone else. Why did I think it was okay to speak to me like that? I snapped myself out of that and can now combo feed! Long may that continue ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss, Sarah. I lost my mom on December 15 and that has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through. Now it's been about 8 months and I'm still having a really hard time with it. She was one of my best friends. I hope you have a lot of love and support around you. Sending you my love as well. ❤
I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine. I’m so happy you’re back making videos and it would be amazing to film some decluttering videos! ❤
My dad passed away 6mths ago... straight after I moved too and had alot going on. I was not close to my dad and in some ways it made things extremely difficult to manage and it was Christmas time so I felt I had to try not be miserable around people to not bring peoples moods down. I'm still processing things...
You're doing well , never forget to try and take some time out for your mental health.
wishing you the best sarah, your videos have helped me (and are helping me) grow up and be less scared of becoming an adult
Sorry for your loss! It has been a year since I lost my grandmother. We even shared the same birthday. Her death affected me the most because I was a lot closer to her and her passing away left a toll on my mental health. I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life and I wasn't sure if I wanted go back to school and finish my music degree. It has been a hell of a year for us too. I'm doing better now as I've been practicing some similar goals you've mentioned and I have recently made the decision to go back to school and finish my degree. Journaling has helped and finding some positive stimulation (books, podcasts, movies) help a lot and are my favorite coping mechanisms
So sorry sarah!Sending aa huge hug!
sarah, im so sorry you're going through all of this right now. thank you for sharing these parts of your life with us, and just being so vulnerable. you've always been someone i gravitate towards when i need to watch comforting videos, and that's something that hasn't changed in the many years i've watched you on youtube. there's no right way to heal/cope with these types of situations, so just please be patient with yourself, and know that you don't owe anybody anything. as just a stranger on the internet, i wanna just say i'm so heckin proud of you and fern is a lucky little bean sprout to have you as a mama. i'm sending so so much love your way💘 thank you for existing, and thank you for inspiring me constantly.
Postpartum is hard enough on it’s own, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. Moving through grief as a mom is so difficult, I can relate. I wish you all the best Sarah ❤️🩹
I’d really recommend the Podcast “Ologies”, they go through different “ologies” with an expert (paleontology for example) and it’s super interesting and fun to learn about new things; or learn more about things you’re already interested it; from people who are really passionate about those topics. They have a Thanatology episode (the study of death) which I highly recommend when you’re ready. Probably too soon now, but I would circle back to it when you’re in the right headspace. It helped me with my grandfathers passing. (: I hope you’re doing well, Sarah.
I'm so sorry for your loss
I’ve lost my father, too. Still haven’t accepted it, it’s a whole journey. I hope all gets better! Your personality always makes my day!
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how hard that is 😞.
Wow, I totally understand what you were going through with breastfeeding and the lack of milk being produced form your body. I was so set on ONLY giving my baby my breast milk that I became stressed, depressed, and very anxious all the time and every time my baby had to eat. I tried all the “milk increasing hacks” and they didn’t do anything for me. His latch also wasn’t ever consistently good so it was also painful and pumping still wasn’t good enough. Once I chose at 3 months to fully switch to formula, it made me feel almost 100% better and also so sad at the same time. I hope you continue to feel better with everything. I’ll be praying for you ♥️
In times like the ones you’re facing, survival in itself is a TRIUMPH! One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. I’m sending all the wishes for peace and control your way, along with lots and lots of love, support, and admiration! For documentaries, I highly recommend Yes Theory’s videos with Wim Hof. Totally changed the way I perceive what I’m capable of enduring. I’n holding you and your family in my heart, Sarah. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey with us. ❤
I’ve been watching you since 4 none blondes ❤ thank you for still posting . Sending lots love
Im so sorry for your loss and I hope everything starts feeling better soon! My favorite podcast is Binchtopia, It’s very funny and informational on all sorts of fun topics!
I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time - you really are doing incredibly to keep going in terms of showing up for your daughter every day and keeping you both fed and comfortable; that really is enough and you’re doing amazingly to set yourself goals and work through them. My daughter wouldn’t breast feed despite me trying until we were both hysterical for days and we eventually went on to formula - I was crushed but she did really well on it and was always keen for her food once it was bottled. When she was small and we started getting out together I found meeting friends in coffee shops was the easiest way to stay social - also having people over for coffee or dinner, or going for lunch or walks together with baby. We also moved into our house when my daughter was four months old after living with our in laws with most of our things in storage for six months - I found when I came to unpack a lot of them that I really hadn’t missed them and it made me want to declutter if only to have less things to organise, clean and tidy! Babies and small children take up so much room with all of their various accessories; anything that makes it easier is a huge plus in my book. Looking forward to seeing the next steps on your journey with you - I’m sure better times are coming very soon xxx Also a Podcast recommendation is Ghouls Night In - this is focussed on a lot of spooky/Halloween community friendly content but is very varied, well thought out, informative and fun; it’s fast become my favourite and gives me the cosy autumn happy feelings!
I can't imagine life without my parents I do sometimes but what bothers me the most is not becoming a parent. I'd like to feel in a somewhere in you're life in a way that can give us comfort. 💚👩🏻🤝👨🏾🦸♀️😘
Finally you back i miss ur vidoes so much miss love u❤❤❤
I appreciate your candor and sharing your emotions. I respect and admire how you’re handling things. I do sympathize, we lost dad in September and I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna get through this weekend but I’m sending you and your family good vibes.
Hey Sarah - my condolences for your loss...my mom actually lost her dad when I was Fern's age so I don't quite remember meeting my grandpa in the hospital before he suddenly passed. But she had a husband, family, friends and a whole support system to lean on like you do, so you will def get through this, promise! 🙏❤️
This one hit home for me. I too lost my father in April. I am not coping with it at all. While my child is old now, I do remember the times other stressful things were happening when he was a baby, and can totally relate to that gratitude of having them to focus on. That really saved my life. I have been trying to pull my life back together as well, dealing with the loss, my mental and physical health. Thank you so much for sharing this and I hope you continue this series so that we can go on this journey together. I didn't even realize how alone I felt before until I watched this video and heard you say that you're going through and feeling the same way. Brought me to tears. Thank you for all that you do. Stay strong, we're not alone with this. ❤
Re: breastfeeding... there is so much guilt placed on moms (internally and externally) for not breastfeeding, or stopping "early", or having to supplement. I tried so hard, but wasn't making enough and needed to supplement for both my babies. I ended up stopping at 9 months and 7 months, and each time felt a HUGE relief when I finally allowed myself to stop. I immediately started to feel like I had some control over my body, which helped with my PPA also. Just wanted to share my experience ❤
I'm so sorry I keep you in my thoughts and prayers
Sending so much love to you, Sarah. I went through a period where multiple huge life changes were happening and it’s so tough. I really feel for you. You’re doing all the right things and I look forward to being here on this journey with you ❤️
grief is a strange thing. my dad was diagnosed with alzheimer's when i was in 9th grade and he passed away last february during my first year of college. sometimes i also feel like i haven't grieved enough or that i don't feel enough because i don't cry much (i feel like i've run out of tears 😂). never apologize for your grieving process because everyone finds their own special way of dealing with it. sending love to you and your loved ones ❤️
and a documentary i would recommend is turtle the incredible journey! i'm not one for nature documentaries but it's so cute and it's free to watch on youtube
Girl, delay grief is a thing. And a hard one. Grief podcasts were really helpful to me, so I recommend Griefcast and Where’s the Grief if you need to hear conversations about it (heavy topics but also beautifully humorous), and The Grief Coach and Mindfulness & Grief if you need something more practical. Much love to you 🖤
I love these kinds of videos! I’m sorry for all the difficulties you’re going through and I’m glad to see you finding a way to cope and move past them
I’m so sorry for your loss.
This is a lot to process and deal with! Have grace with yourself as you respond to so many changes. Thanks for sharing what you've been going through. I am sending you all the thoughts and good vibes!