The Crucial MISTAKE Men Make with WOMEN (Genuine Attraction)
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 19. 06. 2024
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Discussing why why qualities like emotional intelligence and masculine identity are crucial in truly attracting and maintaining attraction with women
0:00 Intro
0:33 Perceived value
5:28 Burden of performance
9:00 Identity
12:16 You can't avoid it
#selfimprovement #dating
External high value markers get you in the door
Internal high value markers keep you in the room.
Itâs the number on reason why so many of these âmenâs CZcamsrsâ bug me. They are selling people on this idea that all it takes to get and keep a woman is looks, money, status. All that does it get you the interview. I know so many good looking guys that make money that can never keep a womanâs interest, because internally they lack the masculine energy and emotional fortitude that women not just crave, but NEED to feel safe and trust in a relationship.
Men, working in your body, your style, your career, they are all great things, but in the world of women and relationships, it is just a very small piece of the overall pie. The ability to connect with and live in your masculine core is what will set you apart from other people, and make women absolutely melt for you. But it has to be AUTHENTIC.
Obligatory plug for âThe Way of The Superior Manâ by David Deida. I have a feeling Danny is no stranger to that book.
Good vid brotha. Keep fighting the good fight
Well said brother đŻ
â@itsdannyvera I wonder how the leader of the cult NXIVM, Keith Rainere, could get into the heads of all those women and get them to do his every bidding just by using words. He wasn't tall or very handsome.
Man I just saw this video and your comment. Excellent comment btw. Where did you get this wisdom- that book?
Just wanted to say- I figured that I was pretty apex male- tall, cop- fit- but I fucked up and it was public. It was FA storage crap but it was super public and front page news. Now, every potential date reads that shit and I have to try to explain- on text. I always end up sounding like a weak pussy for trying to defend myself for a 10 yr old mistake. Then they ghost. Makes a guy super insecure. Advice?
Respect in any relationship comes from holding on to your values and the willingness to walk away at any point in the relationship!
Exactly brother
Iâve had my share of moments where Iâve eroded my attractiveness/masculinity by being immature and not controlling my emotions. Not proud of those moments. Thanks for sharing this valuable information with us. Another great video, Danny.
You didn't erode your masculinity. Your attractiveness? To some people. Your masculinity? That's not something that you can really "erode." Thinking about your masculinity constantly is only gonna make you insecure about it, which is gonna make you seem less masculine. Just forget about it. Learn to identify and handle your emotions properly so you don't lash out. It's no accident that the people who exude masculine energy also exude calm and serenity. If you need to think about this in terms of a power hierarchy as if you're in competition with other men you've already lost because now you're in competition with other men.
It's a mental game. Stay on top of it brothers
Out of all my years of dating I've come to the conclusion that life is best lived being single. You don't have to deal with nonsense and it's best to be FRIENDS with women and NEVER seek out relationships.
With women, you're operating on a razor's edge. Too much one way or the other and you are perceived as weak. It's exhausting. No human should be this difficult or complicated. Test after test after test after test...
I hear you. It works in reverse too, though. If you're an attractive guy (not just looks) and have options, there's pressure on her to keep things going well on her end, or else you're gone. Things are exhausting when there's an imbalance in her favor. When she looks up to you, things flow much more smoothly. You're never fully immune, but it isn't nearly as much of a headache
@@itsdannyveraI think the way I look at is like this:
The more masculine you are, the more lifeâs small hurdles donât rock your boat. Because your boat is big. However if your masculinity is small and therefor your boat is small, now the waves and hurdles that come, can totally knock you off your line and get you into trouble, that even the big boat would have issues dealing with, weâre it ever knock off course⊠but of course the big boat is never knocked off course into the bigger waves so it doesnât have to deal with that crap that the smaller boat does. Basically like your doctor story⊠a masculine man wouldnât be with a women that would disrespect him like that in the first place.
The problem is that I lose attraction very easily. Women like to sh*t test. Once they do that, Iâve lost all attraction. I like to be with people who are kind, agreeable and like to laugh. Itâs difficult to find that.
@@unusedsub3003 Exactly lmao. It's a catch-22. A real man would walk away at the first sign of mind games (and crap tests are mind games). So you can make her love you forever by walking away but you are still alone.
@@unusedsub3003 Truth! How can there be love when I feel like I am in constant competition under a microscope? Where is the fun and adventure in that? I always strive to do my best, but I am only human. And humans are fallible. Life can be difficult. Surely a genuinely decent women understands this? No one can be strong all of the time, unless he has nothing to care for.
Sounds like a game men will eventually lose given a long enough timeline. While we cant control women it helps to find a partner with insight into their own psyche. If you are being constantly tested at work AND at home thats a recipe for disaster. Longterm pairbonds/marriage requires mutual respect. Respect requires insight, empathy and a shared vision for the future. All these other games are for boys and girls in adult bodies ruled by thier emotions.
It sounds exhausting having to be "on your game" all the time. As an introvert this sounds like cortisol overload. Though I also remember as a Christian, we are doing battle with Satan, and drunkenness, fits of rage and other works of the flesh lead into spiritual darkness. So being sober and vigilant even when you just want to relax and get high, and also not ruining my reputation by being perceived as an evildoer or Christ won't have social proof as a righteous God.
I think the ideal dynamic is Jesus Christ leading man leading woman, and obviously Jesus Christ leading woman as well. If either have rejected Jesus Christ, well I hate to say it but you are on losing ground before you start. That goes for me, who professed Jesus Christ, but was living apart from Him in reality for quite some time as a double minded loser.
@@TimpBizkit You shouldn't think about it as always "on your game." If you don't think you're naturally enough, then it will always come across to others that you are not enough. Nothing wrong with self improvement, but don't think of yourself in the negative, ever.
I have come to realize that we men we have alot to do when it comes to dating and even keeping women... so draining !
You definitely articulated points rooted in fact to the highest degree. This information is gold! Thank you!
Super valuable info you dropped!
What you say absolutely speaks to me. I'm 45 and single. I've had a fair amount of cool, clever and pretty girlfriends when I was younger, and most of them if not all now being mothers.
It took me a long time to realize I was the one fucking it all away with deep emotional inbalance and also believing this trend I should not be leading anyone. I also believed I should speak of my emotion ending behaving like my somehow emotionaly abusive mother. I tended to be a very angry boyfriend at times arguing badly.
There was no youtube at the time. This content seems resonable and valuable to me.
After spending a couple of years away from the dating scene I feel I'll soon be able coming back to the game again.
That's so true. I've ended a long-term relationship a few months back. I have been in therapy for the past 9 months and finally going after it. I feel confident with who I am and this somehow oozes out. I've never been as successful with women as now. I'm still working on my verbal game and surly make mistakes now and then, but I have options and I'm no longer in a scarse mindset. Great content. Thank you.
This man def studied the SM ..a true brother of the order
'Perceived' is the key word as it applies to value. And one's perception IS one's reality. As a man you should work to BECOME high-value (in all endeavors, not only as it applies to inter-sexual interactions) and not only be perceived as such. The 'fake it until you make it' ruse only last so long.
You must BECOME.
'Becoming' still comes back to someone else perceiving you as high value. It's not an absolute
@brettm6016 Agreed.... however, once you become, then it's more likely that you are 'perceived.' Tom Brady is perceived as the best because he IS the best....
1000% spot on brother
Thanks for that, all goes to prove that I can't be arsed with em anymore đ
I'm glad to be the lucky few who get to feast on good content like this
Right on man, emotional connection is 80% of it
You should have waaaay more subs, Danny. Excellent, clear and concise content
Hey mate, just discovered your Channel. I find your in depth knowledge with this is very good. A lot of what your saying applies to me. Looks & confidence isnât my issue, itâs more the internal stuff which I want to level up in so I can better person going forward.
You are brilliant, danke Bruder.
6:02
I flipped to ultra nightmare mode by accident, I can't get it back on easy!!!
solid advice.
Wheat waffles need to take notes on this đ
Wheat waffles cannot be saved, he's far too dilusioned by his "scientific" numbers games, plus then it wouldn't be business for him scamming people to do his "face analysis".
Finally great advises that are also grounded in reality, and not just the generic production line mantra other "dating coaches" throw out. Keep up the great work Dan! These pretty much explain why I always manage to get to the door, but never in the room. Also confirms why and how many of those dudes I perceived with my "guy eye" as a "sub 5" managed to bag Good women. Like this dude only works in a blue-collar minimum wage job, he is nowhere near a Ryan Reynolds, how the living f**k he managed to pick up that hot woman, while I chew on the table to get my career rolling, and barely (if ever) move forward in relationships (or dating in general) while I keep trial and error stuff for years!
Also donât forget a significant portion of âhotâ women are horrible people, no brain,,,, constantly sleeping with anything. Not judging, I just donât find that attractive ! My wife and I met and she was stunning (bikini model level, no joke) and had a brain and incredible drive to succeed (works at nasa) but she bloomed later (like at 21-22 yo). Get a good one, looks fade brother !!
Correct â
Excellent
Hey Danny awesome video I watched this video with some of my college friends and I already see them making improvements
Good to hear brother, appreciate you guys watchingđđŻ
wow..such quality video and content..this is gold! give this man a 100 subs ASAP :D - cheers!
I love your videos. I don't know if I'll ever get there.
I got pissed at the waitress two weeks ago I mean a buddy and I were spending good money in the restaurant and her service was horrible. No I didn't yell and make a scene but my reaction was too strong and the F word came out of my mouth but I used the F word for emphasis I didn't curse her out, so this was a demonstration of weakness on my part. It irked me that I had to teach this waitress how to do her job and believe me her service was that bad, but there's no excuse I definitely could have been less taken off center and less emotional to get my point across.
You are very observant and experienced. What you fail to say though, is that countering these issues is impossible. You keep saying the word "masculine". Probably because your perceived strong point is masculinity. But masculinity, just like femininity, is an act. Women know it. And any woman, including yours, will know from your behaviour, that you are not more masculine than any other guy. You just pretend to be. Masculine men are dumped by women every second. Some are being cheated with less masculine guys. So you still show weakness in her eyes by pretending. If you don't pretend, it's still bad, because she can attack you on that front. My point? Long term relationships don't work if the two people are exclusive. That's it. There is nothing you can do about it. Humans are meant to be polygamous. And in a polygamous society, a high value ER doctor will have the upper hand, because other women would be the ones to punish the woman who challenged him. He doesn't have to act masculine, he just has to act sexually with a different woman and he instantly becomes masculine again. If he is high value on more than one front, because just being a doctor, in itself, is not high value.
"But masculinity, just like femininity, is an act."
thats not true. Masculinity and feminity are built on a biological fundament which are hormones. Men have 10-20 times more testosteron than women.
Women want instinctivlely to submit, and men usually want to lead. Not all men tho, thats were natural selection comes in and the women choose.
The reason men now a days feel the need to "act" the way they were designed, is because society brainwashed them into thinking masculinity is bad and we are all equal.
Great video ! Is there ANY hope of getting her back if sheâs lost your value and sheâs started pulling back? And is giving space/time a good idea at this point? Moving on seems to be in the near future but itâs seriously hard to even consider it now :(
Its best to assume no and keep leveling up. If she does then you have to play it cool.
Bredda having emotional control is important but everyone has limits and everyone is a human at the end of the day. I can comprehend what youâre saying but women do push boundaries and eventually make u fold. This is modern women , we canât expect men to be perfect. I donât know what they want because their baby daddyâs sure as hell ainât superman or Batman
Based
I understand the viewpoints but all Iâm getting is if women are worth all the hassle, Iâm increasingly more comfortable living and die alone.
Still seems backwards as if itâs this constant battle; I donât want to be hyper-masculine all the time. I donât want to give of the threat of burning everything to the ground over the slightest mistakeâŠ
I donât even want to come across as cocky or overconfident. Iâd rather let my actions speak for themselves overtime. Problem is in the short-term all the cocky insecure assholes take the cake.
I guess the âoptimal strategyâ is to be romantic and play up masculine sexual energy to attract her in the short term, then see if you like her enough to keep her around (provided she doesnât get the âickâ for 1 of 1000+ irrational reasons), and then switch up??
Am I crazy for not wanting to be a âmanâ in modern day!? I just wanna chill and do things I enjoy, but it seems attracting women has evolved into a performative art and itâs anything but honest & natural
I've decided a while ago that simply wasn't going to play this game. I've just thrown all this shit into the trash. Not because I don't care what anyone thinks of me, but because this all too transactional, and antithetical to the fundamental human experience.
Donât bend to the game. Bend the game to YOU.
Man you should always aim high but donât think about yourself too much when it comes to dating women. See if you really like her donât try to get her to like you. If you both are arguing already yâall most likely donât have chemistry. Doesnât make you weak in less you argue with every woman you talk to. Some woman just like to argue.
I can get almost any girl , but the attraction dies quickly afterwards
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I do not understand: if you are arguing with her - you are weak, if you are not arguing and very agreeable - again you are weak. How to handle this?
Also, it seems no matter what you do, you always show some kind of weakness :)
So, do whatever you want and do not care for her - if she cannot appreciate you - nothing you can do about it.
Firstly it is futile to argue with a woman. They will always win. Secondly, sheâs not really trying to argue with you, sheâs just testing your emotional and mental fortitude. So whenever she is in a mood or is angry, remain calm and tell her, I understand why youâre feeling this way but we will talk once youâve calmed down a little, and walk away. If sheâs a good woman, she will feel bad about her outburst and will even apologise to you once her emotions settle. Be the man in the relationship
And what's the return pn " investment " if you master this " inner game " ? The Juice ain't the squeeze ... I think you should offer coaching for women on how to curb this mental behavior ? And Tom Brady ia the perfect example of the Juice ain't worth the aqueeze ... Being exploited because men value to the opposite sex way too high is bad place to be ... Being annoyed by nagging behavior is just that ...
Yup! We value women WAYYY too much. And for what? Sex? I can get that without all the theatrics and bullshit lol. Women seemed to have forgotten they are only valuable if they can provide value. Sex and beauty isn't scarce enough to be valuable.
I would say refrain from getting married in order to protect your assets as one of the most important things to keep in mind. Marriage through the state, gives the female the advantage and a woman being in a position of advantage is potentially a recipe for disaster.
Once you keep that in mind you as the man are automatically in the position of advantage, as you always have the option of walking away if a woman acts in way that displeases you.
Great channel, based on real life not some red pill bs
I'm not sure I understand it. Why should a man be the "leader" in dating? Isn't that a trait of patriarchy that today is overpassed?
Women who mention the patriarchy (AND are attractive) donât give a fuck about new age values they just mention that to filter out men who fall for their bluff. You canât change human nature
women you're in a relationship with will always get comfortable and begin more and more tests.
eventually if you wobble or show cracks she will try a test that borders on disrespect. this is when you have to show her you can walk away.
sometimes this can work, but if you don't correct the internal problems that led to her doubting you, eventually you have to walk away permanently and not just "show her". this includes not accepting an apology or her attempts to "talk it through" she knows she's crossed the line and things won't go back to the way they were. this is your fault sadly. sometimes life has its challenges and it stresses you out which can bleed into your relationships and other areas of life.
women unfortunately want a perfect man.
Wearing dat YoungLA
always breaking things down in ways i have not heardđđ goat shit
Gotta take mushrooms to bring out that pure masculinity from time to time
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If you think about it, women have every instinctual incentive from a safety perspective to vet a man in every way. Just study and pass lol. Not hard.
what about hypergamy,if what you say about preceived value is true then leanardo dicaprio can't take your girl,which i doubt even though you have a high perceived value
So what should that ER DOCTOR do when his women test him like that?
By putting her in her place and pointing out that she has no problem financially benefiting from his profession, and if she thinks she can do better she is more than welcome to pack her bags and take a hike.
Afterward however he should get rid of her because something like that is more than just a mere test. It is a blatant sign of trying to emasculate her husband in public.
Women usually only resort to this type of behaviour, if they have extremely low levels of respect for the man they are with.
A man that is aware should not be married to a woman like that. She is much more of a liability to him than an asset.
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Good video- another example is the drug dealer on the street, been in and out of prison several times, and has 4 kids with 6 defferent women. In a mans eyes, he is a no good piece of garbage, but in womens eyes he is the perfect man.
Why is it always men are the ones lacking communication. Women need to be held accountable as well. We as men are not here trying to sell ourselves to win over a girls heart.
Because typically they don't how to listen and I'm a guy
@@spontaneousbootay And women always do?
@@allen5323 on average many more men have this problem
@@allen5323 on average many more men have this problem. But it would be easier for you if you just focused on what you can control.
@@allen5323 women don't listen to who they don't respect
Sadly, these notions tend to encourage a homogenous sort of "man".
Communication is the only thing.
absolutely all dating BS yts evolves around non-commiunication!
You make women sound awful and not worth the time investment. If this were true, why even bother getting with one? I strive to be my best all of the time, but life can be difficult and people are not infallible. Surely a genuinely decent women understands this? No one can be strong all of the time, unless he has nothing to care for.
Genuinely a good woman would.. a good relationship would be about partnership, covering each other helping each other grow and support.
What he is describing sounds like constant mind games
Itâs the inside that counts.
Sort of. The outside still has to be at a level where she wants to see whatâs inside.
You are reading from a screen, aren`t you?
None of you even know what a real high value man is! You think it's some smuck that earns a million a year! What good is money if the evonomy collapses?
âHeâs just an ER Doctorâ
Sheâs jelous of him and is belittling him on purpose . Extremely disrespectful.
I love calm men. Men who control their temper and emotions make me meltâŠ..đ©·
And what's the return pn " investment " if you master this " inner game " ? The Juice ain't the squeeze ... I think you should offer coaching for women on how to curb this mental behavior ? And Tom Brady ia the perfect example of the Juice ain't worth the aqueeze ... Being exploited because men value to the opposite sex way too high is bad place to be ... Being annoyed by nagging behavior is just that ...