6 Things NOT to Expect From Therapy
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- čas přidán 9. 01. 2023
- Let's talk about therapy and what to and what not to expect. Many people are new to therapy or it may be their first time seeing a therapist, and they're like what should I expect? Is my entire life going to change right away? They want an introduction to therapy or a therapy 101 course that teaches them the DOs and DONTs of therapy. The problem is, therapy is not that black or white nor is it that simple - and it requires patience. So if you're a therapy beginner, or if you've been going to therapy for a while and not sure what to expect out of therapy, I'll try to answer some of those questions in this video, as well. This is a good therapy for beginners video, but also a good therapy for experienced clients video! If you find yourself asking what is therapy like or what should I expect out of counseling or is therapy effective or how to find a therapist or counselor - all of these questions likely make you a good candidate for this video. Let's dive deep into the things not to expect out of therapy or counseling...
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A therapist shouldn't take a pause during a session to check the score of a baseball game. Right then and there I was done with her.
The first therapist that I was seeing, I opened up to her about staying at the mental health ward in the hospital and was diagnosed with BPD. She outright told me that I don’t have BPD, that patients with BPD are horrible people. That was the last time I scheduled an appointment to see her.
I had a therapist what told me she was suicidal and had a plan, she became the patient and I put everything in my life on hold to help her, I was even giving her the Valium my Dr prescribed for me. She told me everything about her life, her pregnant daughter and details regarding the Divorce she was going threw. It all ended suddenly when she was hospitalized, never saw her again. All this was a sweet deal for her, I paid her 140.00 and hour and she got therapy. It took a while before I realized how it messed me up
How about #7 - A therapist should NOT use the session to talk about his/her life issues (and then charge you for the session).
I am friendly with my therapist but not a friend. We have boundaries.
I went to therapy expecting to solve all my problems. The first thing my therapist said was "I need you to to understand that I won't fix anything, my job is to give you the right tools for YOU to fix your life. And is not going to happen right now, it takes time".
The point is to not expect therapy fixing your problem cause the point is for them to take your money by spending time chatting to you the cliche things you already heard about million times from the strangers on the street.
Instead of "Why did you do that?" my therapist uses "Why do YOU think you did that/reacted like that?" They're not being judgemental but trying to get me to understand my actions or thought patterns.
#2 was a big deal for one of my therapists in the past. We got along great, and I really liked her. But after a while it seemed like I'd start talking about something, then she'd share a story, and after a while we were just talking to each other like friends and she honestly talked more about her and her family than I did. I would have rather kept her as a friend and got a new therapist, but I was afraid of hurting her feelings. In the end she abruptly left the practice and I felt like I had both a therapist and a very rare friendship (I have severe social anxiety) ripped from me at the same time.
Kati, thank you SO MUCH for everything you share with and teach us. You have helped me unravel a past of trauma, an ED, and CPTSD. I cannot thank you enough. I've been watching you since you started on CZcams, I was just a teenager then. You inspired me to go to school for psychology. Thank you for raising the awareness you do and for providing a safe space to learn and discuss. Love and support from NYC.
1. They will not know all your problems at the beginning
I had a good fit but she moved so I got a new one and my first visit I told her my occupation and her response was" that's just what people choose when they don't know what they want to do next". Now I see she just had a different therapy style but at that point I had worked really hard to get that title and was really proud of it and for someone to downplay your achievements felt like crap
My last therapist was great. I'm sad she had to move on she helped me lots. One thing she said a lot is "give yourself some grace" when i was beating myself up about something because i never realized the achievements i had actually accomplished.
Former therapist over covid, so online but local, would pick up her nail file while I was talking, just for a couple of seconds, but it was enough for me to begin to question trusting her. She would also look at her watch and email someone quickly at the start of our sessions every so often. She would also minimize and explain away some of my experiences. I left when she took something personally and retaliated with stonewalling. I found myself walking on eggshells and people pleasing her. Time to go! Swore I'd never go to therapy again but then was struggling and thought I would try again after all my go to CZcams therapists were so helpful in videos. I'm so glad I did. I have a great therapist who is very spiritual and has been so validating. I've gotten so much figured out with her and am as healthy mentally as I've ever been in this life.
Tha k you for this list Katie! This is validating.
I ran away from my sessions (I really don't remember or understand why I did that now that I've finally decided to go back) I was so afraid to click on this video but I'm so glad I did ❤️ I feel more at ease and ready to go back to therapy... But I still fear if I'd be told anything for running away. I was also asked to see a psychiatrist and take medicines but I ran away from all of it 😭
you speak so fluent im not english speaker and i listen to you with no problem.
#6 I had a therapist who would fall asleep during our sessions. At the time, I wasn't used to talking about myself yet or making eye contact, so oddly it worked for me, but she did eventually quit after I told her she needs to take some time off to rest. (I think she retired)
In my 40+ year odyssey in the strange land of psychotherapy I've worked with a zoo of therapists; I haven't always been the best client but I usually did my best- my therapists have been characters from A to Z, some whose conduct was insensitive at best, and verged on malpractice at worst... some in worse shape than those they purported to help- so I've learned very much from this journey.... but yet I haven't completely given up.
Number 5 shocked me because my old therapist did it way too many times.