How to Say No (Without Making Everyone Angry)
Vložit
- čas přidán 1. 06. 2024
- I think people are sometimes confused about how to politely reject something.
They either avoid the awkwardness by agreeing to things they dislike
OR they give a very firm NO that creates more resentment and anger than it needed.
There are many ways you can handle these situations. This is just how I approach it.
Hope it helps! Timestamps coming soon.
Legal Notice: Consult your doctor before beginning any kind of exercise program. This video does not replace a physical therapy program or consultation with a medical professional.
#hybridcalisthenics #coffeewithhampton
---
Free Fitness Routine: www.hybridcalisthenics.com/ro...
Join our Discord community! www.hybridcalisthenics.com/di...
Shirts: www.bonfire.com/store/hybridc...
---
Instagram: www.hybridcalisthenics.com/in...
CZcams: www.hybridcalisthenics.com/yo...
FaceBook: www.hybridcalisthenics.com/fa...
Twitter: www.hybridcalisthenics.com/tw...
Twitch: www.hybridcalisthenics.com/tw...
TikTok: www.hybridcalisthenics.com/ti...
Tumblr: www.hybridcalisthenics.com/tu...
Patreon: www.hybridcalisthenics.com/pa...
Subreddit: www.hybridcalisthenics.com/su...
All Other Links:
www.linktr.ee/HybridCalisthenics
Check out the last 2 letters of this video's URL.
No
No, pls don't get mad
You are so cool
It's "no"
That’s dope
i always tell my self. If they do not accept "no" then it wasn't a question. It was a demand.
Wow I think this just changed my entire perspective
This helps me thank you!
Sigma comment detected 💪🏻
Wow that's awesome, thank you so much
I said no and they got angry but I missed the part where thats my problem
Bully Maguire vibe
😤👍
based maguire
WHAT A SAVAGGEEEEEEE
Put some dirt in their eye
This guy is the most wholesome person on CZcams
Your username is fucking hilarious lmfao
@@alfredoladino9838 glad you like it
@@TheFrogEnjoyer 👍🏻👍🏻
He really is. Definitely a genuine person
Your opinion is correct, because it is fact.
On the "without making people angry" part I just wanna say that there will be people out there who will get angry no matter how nicely you phrase your no. It is unavoidable and it is NOT your problem ❤ Be polite (within reason) but stick with your no.
I used to be really scared of saying no, and I think as a result I had built a lot of friendships where the people I interacted with didn't expect me to set boundaries and would get offended no matter how I did it. My advice for these times is to stick to your guns through this rather annoying transition period and you'll find that the friendships you keep are the ones where they respect your decisions. Trust me, the others aren't good for you and whilst it may hurt initially you'll feel so much lighter in no time. Not to mention that after learning to set boundaries I became confident enough to form new friendships where mutual respect was a given from the start :)
Same, exactly gal. 💙
NO
Very true! Some people are upset for their own reasons.
I think we should just state our kind truth to them. Then, if they're angry, it's on them.
On the other hand, I think sometimes we assume someone is being unreasonable when we unknowingly snapped at them or are harsher than we needed to be. Sometimes. It always helps me to double check!
I was about to emphasise this. “No” is a full sentence and beyond being polite, you never need to justify yourself or gave the responsibility for other peoples reactions to your boundaries.
@@hellohampton yes. I think the last statement you made is what this video is primarily addressing.
culture today seems to respect immidiate bluntness, and not owing anything (incl explanation) to anyone.
but so many repurcussive contradictions in that, even with its merits.
absolutely, some people will not respect your no. stick to your guns and your boundaries, sometimes drop them in that case.
but let's not lose our empathy for human experience and vulnerability in the habitual process. (not saying og commenter was implying this)
My parents didn’t teach me to set healthy boundaries for myself. They constantly invaded my privacy as a person. When I tried to draw any kind of boundaries, I would be attacked and guilt tripped.
So now as an adult… I don’t know how to say no in a nice/normal way.
Even so much so… that I don’t know how to ask for things. I even am guilty of over stepping boundaries. My parents never held up their own boundaries… so it’s like I never learned when to notice that I was being TOO much
Never too late to try learning!
I was raised by narcissistic parents. Same boat as you. Saying no and setting healthy boundaries (even if you’re nice) will piss off the jerks in your life/circle. But I use it to remove unhealthy people from my life. Age teaches you a lot of things. This (saying no and being ok with people getting t heir egos hurt even if you say it nicely) is vital for anyone.
Dude same
I had an even worse set of parents but a lot of the same social problems. I certainly was not ALLOWED to have boundaries even for my own safety. So here is what I did and I recommend it. Therapy with psychologists and, no offense to them GROUP therapy works best. I bounced off it the first couple of times because people said some dumb and hurtful things to me. But eventually since I am a veteran I was able to get into groups with vets and the dumb comments stopped in their tracks. It is worth trying until you get results. Find your NO VOICE. EVEN IF people get insulted and stay AWAY FROM those people. Far away.
Yeah I'm pretty much the same
I’ve been a yes person my whole life, I can tell you first hand how burnt out I was.
It was my doctor who told me “you know, it IS ok to say no. Sometimes saying no, is saying yes to yourself” That one statement really helped me stand up for myself and not be taken advantage of anymore.
"Sometimes saying no is saying yes to yourself." I never thought about it that way, but you're right. I think many of us feel selfish for making our own needs or boundaries a priority, but always putting yourself last really wears you down over time.
I too have been a yes person as long as I remember. But I think we should be careful to not bounce to the other extreme. We should avoid seeing our situations as "being taken advantage of". I think the mindset of "we each have power OVER others" in our case, only worsen our cognitive ruts. Instead, we should have "power TO ourselves". I hope I get my point across. 🙏
If I had a podcast, I would definitely invite you bro, and if you said "no" I would only cry a little now... Jk but honestly this is great advice, saying "No" can be one of the most difficult things to do and this video helps.
I have a podcast - totally down to chat with you, brother. I'd go on yours too if you had one 😂.
Glad you like the video man. It really means a lot!
@@HybridCalisthenics that's so cool, what is your podcast?
@@epicbro5453 it's called Hybrid Calisthenics Podcast!
@@hellohampton oh, I probably should have guessed lol. I'm definitely going to be watching :)
"The more we try to hide from the truth, the harder things get and the more complicated things get." This is highly accurate!
Longer videos are NOT a waste of time, they're very much enjoyable. Feels like a conversation despite only one side talking
You know, this is one of the most important skills that one can learn. I've had my share of difficulties with this very conundrum because of the fear that people might hate me for saying 'No' to their faces. But sometimes you feel like you've become a total sucker for doing every errand they ask you to do.
Same With Me
Yep
Peterson said something about agreable people being more going along with other people. ( these person can be abused endlesly or turned into a good wife ) 60% women - cca.
And dissagreable people not doing anything they dont want and being focused on what they want and know what they want. (Free thinckers, wariors, leaders.) 60% of men - cca.
Talcking generaly.
Nuances ignored.
Just don't do it then
I always used to say sorry when I did something unknowingly and my mom was like "STOP SAYING THAT" lol and now that I am closer to attending college and stuff I shouldn't be the guy who keeps saying sorry for something they can't control lol, i will definitely watch this video once I am free thanks a lot!
My friend's like that too, and I'm trying to make him stop cause others are gonna take advantage of that
Your profile picture fooled me 😁🤣🥸
I have one friend who was doing but I was really annoying, so I told him…. Asked him to remember when he started it and it was connected to his toxic ex and he was still recovering, so I told him in order to recover, he also have to stop doing that… to get back to his energy before that toxic manipulation
@@tonjo575 yea please correct him
@@pronuggets62 haha 🤣
I learned how to say no after being sexually abused as a child for years. It was a journey but life is so much nicer when my time is not 80% occupied with the needs of other people
Super proud of you for that. I'm grateful you shared your story.
I wish better for you than your previous life
Same and agreed. Too bad we had to grow up enough to have our no taken seriously.
Learned how to say no after getting sexually harassed by my bestfriend in his room. I’m a guy btw and that just happened a few weeks ago. I was too stunned to react.
@@jasonromd.lacidajr1348 ok ka lang pre? hope you're doing well even tho people don't take sexual abuse against men in our country seriously
"What is the truth and why am I trying to hide this from them?" This is an amazing self reflection question! Thank you!!!
One of my biggest regrets in life is declining a relationship opportunity from a girl in high-school whom I really didn't have any real reason to say no to. She even gave me a stuffed panda as a gift, which I still have nearly two decades later. I don't even remember her name. I hope she's found someone since then is and is doing alright.
my general rule (as a woman specifically for when i’m approached by sketchy people, especially men) is LIE. I lie about everything when it’s sketchy strangers. Name, age, where I’m going, that I’m engaged, where I work. If you feel you’re in danger by someone you don’t owe them anything including the truth.
This is very true, and if you can't lie on the spot, take the time to make something up and keep it in mind, that way when you do have to lie to save yourself from danger, you aren't making it up on the spot
It breaks my heart what women go through in life.
Lying is evil, so it should certainly be avoided and not done carelessly. If you absolutely need to lie, sure, but you shouldn't just lie casually.
@@x-popone6817murder is evil. sexual assault is evil. child abuse is evil. lying is morally gray at best
@@x-popone6817not if it saves your life, people can be evil and have evil intentions, lies are not evil it is the intention behind them.
Learning to say "no" without an explanation is liberating.
Chronic people pleaser here! I'm finally starting to learn to say no and set boundaries with people, and I hope what I say will help another person struggling with self-worth and feeling obliged to say yes to things you dont want to do.
Not having boundaries makes your self-worth worse.
The more you say yes to unreasonable requests, or don't follow your gut (i.e., going out because a friend asked you to when you really just want to rest), the more you will doubt your own judgement and erode your self-esteem. It is difficult to start saying no, but once you start it becomes much easier, and it really helped me have faith in my ability to make decisions (and has helped me improve my self esteem). Hope that helps someone 😄
Business requests are much easier to say yes or no. It's easier to say no to a stranger. With family, it feels much harder.
Love your videos, thank you for doing them! Saying "no" can be really scary sometimes. Every evening I go to the center of my city to say "no" to the president starting a war, and I see people around me being beaten and arrested for doing the same. And you know what? Dearing to say "no" is the most liberating thing even if you go to the jail afterwards. Learning to say "no" when it is safe but a little bit scary gives people the power to choose the life they want to live, to make that life possible. Say "no" to everyshit in the world, guys! Peace to everyone!
I hope you're staying safe in these trying times. Thank you for daring to say "no" to war.
So true. Saying “no” is hard. It gets easier when you realize the consequences of not being clear upfront can hurt others far worse than simply saying “no”.
However … I try not to be rude or cruel in the saying. Sometimes tho…. You have to be short and not give excuses or be defensive. Depends on the circumstances.
That is what I was thinking too 🙂 I don't think you owe anyone a reason for why you are saying no 🙂
Thank you. Normally when I say "No" people get super pissed off, even if I'm super nice. Also, you really gotta do a video with JaxBlade. You two will make an awesome duo
I'm down.
@@HybridCalisthenics :D
Aah, I expected him to say no 😂
@@ajaykiran6 Given the context of this video, that'd make sense😂
@@mineshnissanka7139 yup😂
This is an extremely important skill that everyone should have. I wish I knew about this when I was younger. One of the biggest mistakes I've made by not saying "no" is getting into a relationship that I didn't want at all. Now I'm stuck with someone who is EXTREMELY clingy and won't let me do anything at all. They even get mad if I spend an entire day without them, even if I was with my parents! I really want to travel but I'm held back by this relationship and I have no idea what to do about it.... It's just so depressing with no benefit and all because I have a soft heart 😔
12:00 that last nah was so refreshing I felt like I was drinking a iced tea or for a nice lemon lime seltzer on a hot summer day.
It was so satisfying I found myself skipping back to it multiple times. Am I alone in thinking this?
✨nah✨ 😌
I heard one about relationships moving faster than you're comfortable with, "We're reading the same book, but you're a few chapters ahead." I thought that was a great way of saying I see where this goes but I'm not ready to go that far yet.
I''ve met too many people who won't take no for an answer so I don't care any more who gets angry or how angry they get.
Just say no if it disappoints someone this clearly shows that the person wanted to have their way with you, you have to be blunt sometimes otherwise people see your kindness and will try to take advantage,hesitate or say no in a nice way is an invitation for people to pursue you more i am that kind of person people try to push my buttons coz the energy is not behind it backing my no's so its really important to back your no with the similar kind of energy.
We have the right to say no - absolutely! I've been juggling a few difficult choices in my life now and I'm slowly learning that saying no in a respectful but firm way is far better than dragging on something I am certain to resent.
I wanted to encourage you to talk more about proactive honesty! Growing up I was surrounded by a plethora of fables decrying the "little white lies" we tell people on a daily basis, with very little weight given to telling the truth in a way that isn't the most awkward, terrible way. It was implied heavily that the truth hurts. Always. It will always be the worst thing to go up to someone and tell them the truth, but we should do it anyway.
I appreciate that your brand has, so far, been a practical encouragement to be the best version of yourself that you can be, instead of trying to be someone else you think is better.
I'm ill and without a job and sold my car for 2000 instead of 2800 that I advertised because I didn't realize that all of the little things they were telling me on the viewing they were lying and manipulating me. When they drove off they got picked up in an expensive 4 door black Audi while I am left with no car -1400 in the bank and no job because I couldn't say no and was too impressionable in the moment and couldn't see them for what they were.
Set boundaries for yourself beforehand and don't believe people just because you are an honest person.
Even though I am without job and mentally ill and suffering they were haggling over 50 pounds at the end and screewed me along for ages. Don't let people mess you around because they will and they won't care and they will hurt you
Very wise words!! Thank you for showing this. Letting your "yes, be yes!" and "your, no! To be no!"
One of the most important things I've learned, majority from the hard way is to say NO. The more you say it, the easier it becomes and people start leaving you alone
What's SUPER WEIRD in this day in age? People make you like your in a relationship with them when you're NOT! And that is do to SOCIAL MEDIA! So saying NO? It's like people make you feel weird! And that's an uncomfortable feeling! Ty 4 ALL the advice....God Bless 🙏🏻
Thank you for this! I thought I made a new friend recently, but he almost immediately started asking for favors: food, rides, money (and he lives 40 minutes away from me). I find it very hard to say no, but I’m tired of people taking advantage of me
I really needed this specifically right now, thank you
I needed this and the examples. Thank you, Hampton.
Thank you, Hampton. Have a beautiful day
I've always loved your long videos the most! While I still do watch the shorts (and love them), I've always prefered the longer and deeper conversations that coffee talks allow.
Yet another great video! And of course, quality content as always. Your work is highly appreciated. Thank you, Hampton.
I so appreciate your kind, thoughtful and respectful manner - thank you, Hampton.
Thank YOU Hampton. I hope You have a beautiful day!
You are such a dear to listen to. Also, a big thank you for talking about the dangers of saying no ❤️
Genuinely want to thank you very much for making this video. So helpful and straightforward.
Yep, I'm going nuts over this guy, been watching all his videos since yesterday.♥️
As someone raised by narcissistic parents, so was punished for any level of boundaries (which is why many children of abusers end up in abusive relationships), I love that you made this so much, especially how you addressed people getting angry or abusive over healthy boundaries being set. Much love from Australia.
Thanks for the video Hampton, great tips!
I really like these videos where you sit down and talk. I’d just love to hear you speak your thought on anything!
So great to connect with you again. Love your videos
Realy nice format. I liked your shorts but you do have interresting things to say in long videos like this one. Hope to see more, nice job.
Great advice! Thank you!
Thanks for the good video on when and how for saying no, it definitely helps!
Just thank you Hampton. I have struggled with this for a long time and am getting better at it as life goes on, but it's something I continue to actively address. More attention definitely needed to be brought to this issue. Thanks again and love your content!
Hampton you are such a GEM! 💎
You and my therapist make a good team. I really appreciate it.
Oh my gosh thank you! I have struggled with this and it’s led me to do things I didn’t actually want to do and it’s really taken a toll on my anxiety.
Thank you so much for this! You've made such a huge impact in my life! :)
Thank you for spending time to talk about this topic
This video is really helpful for me, at this time i am going through some interviews for game developer internships and i don't know how to say no in a polite way to some of those companies where I don't wanna work in, this is the prefect video for me at this time, thankyou for making this.
Hey Hampton, I just want to say thank you for everything you do on the internet! I've been watching your fitness shorts (btw, I got motivated to start exercising and so for within a month I lost about 7kg). I just watched you video about how to say no and omg you really helped me and your way to convey thoughts really makes me confortable and it brings me an inner piece.
Thank you for every word of kindness you say in every video/short. It really makes a difference on people's day. Cheers from Brazil
Thanks hampton! A simple ‘i love the idea of partying with you guys but at the moment i enjoy being sober and working on my body’ can solve all of my overthinking :)
This has to be one of your best and the most useful videos yet
my brother, you are so sweet! Good information presented in a very soothing manner, incredible, didnt know this could be experienced on youtube. You are really touching hearts here
Great topic
Love your answers also
Thanks for sharing this message today
I like this video, covers the topic, but it's clear and straight to the point without going on tangents.
This was so good Hampton thank you. I am personally working on boundaries and coming across this video is super helpful. Im reading a book called boundaries by cloud and Townsend. It has been a big help. Will be looking forward to another long video! Be well and great content discussions! 👍
9:07
_"I think the more we try to hide from the truth, the harder things get, and the more complicated they get."_
Your vision is great Hampton! Appreciated if you make a vidio on handling emotions when you have rejections! Xo❤️
Just the fact that this topic is being addressed by you is reassuring enough that it is doesn’t make one a bad person for saying no. Thank you!
I needed this, thank you friend 🙏🏻 the most insightful
My one and only New Years resolution was to say "No" to people! so I really appreciate this video, Hampton! My first "No" was a difficult one and there have been times when I *should* have said "No" but I didn't! I've gotta exercise my "No" muscle!! 😅
Your channel is not only about Fitness, it's an all in one. Proud to be your subscriber.
You seem like a really nice person. It's pretty easy to ignore topics such as these small social interactions. But it's really nice to see someone talk about them openly.
Thank you
Sometimes making people angry is inevitable.
Really loved this -the topic, the do-no-harm focus, and clear easy to follow format. 👌 ✨
When people ask me on the street for money I always reply with a stern "No, thank you". This throws most people off because they know they're trying to offer you a service - money for a clean conscience and you also voice your 'No', without being impolite.
For the record I had a really hard time saying no prior to starting therapy and this helped a lot.
Love it that you took your time with this, and use alot of different examples. not just find a quick simple answer.
I struggle with that alot. Less now, butnalot when I was younger. I learned alot from personal experience but im 29 now. I feel comfortable now, but i had a really long time when i tryed saying no and hurt Alot of feelings without meaning to at all, it was just unexpected because people were used to me doing that thing.
Very helpful and timely. Thank you for being such a positive, affirming presence.
Great video! These tips are good to no.
It's a really good topic! Thank you so much!
Love these. Can workout and listen ❤
I love your longer videos just as much as the short ones!
Thank you Hampton!
Yer a true Gentleman! Thanks for the Talk, Hampton.
I like the way you say ..make the others intentions clear ....you feel that they want more than a friendschip....and I never say it. But now you make it clear for me how to bring this up..thanks for the best tip ever
Sometimes you need to be said something just to realize it. Thanks Hampton. I would like to see more about saying no in relationships or when someone is iterested in you. All the Best from Poland.
Thank you for this!
This is fantastic 😮, thank you !
My two highlights are your TRUTH focus (and the truth shall set you free - came to my mind) AND the word HOWEVER! it is kinder and flaws sweetly instead of BUT.
I hope to have made sense on that last one... However seems to acknowledge the other person's message with respect and after the however, you just share your truthful choice! Thank you Hampton, love these videos that go beyond the physical and are just as important! Have an awesome week!!
4:41 I'm a straight guy but you broke my heart there
Thanks. I tend to spend a lot of time by myself since its what i prefer and i usually don't have much interactions with a lot of people and i do have people i am friendly with but we don't connect each other much though i like the way it is now. I still really enjoyed your video, i like your atmosphere and it is a good topic to understand in the event i want to say no (politely). For some reason you always manage to genuinely make me interested or relaxed listening to what you are talking about even about things i normally don't watch(like exercising videos) but your aesthetic is so positive that it makes me feel a bit more positive in that moment as well. Hope you are keeping well and that you enjoy your job. Have a good morning(or other time of day depending) everyone.
Thank you! I think that in many scenarios is much more preferable to receive a "no" and an explanation (if reasonably needed) than not receiving anything at all. In the case of friends, family (closest people) I try to stand in their shoes and keep in mind that if I simply didn't answer their request or get dragged on to accept a compromise and then I never show up/hold my promise, they will feel rather hurt. Of course there will be some of them who might take it better than others and simply shrug it off, but I know, from experience and from being a very sensitive person, that others and I wouldn't like that and would feel really hurt.
Great video! Thanks!
Loved this!
Great video. Thanks!
Love these videos Bro
Thank you. It helps to even hear that I am allowed to say no to things. Funny. And maybe sad too. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this helpful video. I have been in a lot of awkward situations because of saying no to people. They felt so hurt that they took revenge on me for their hurt feelings. It is very important to be aware of the own feelings and to say NO as early as possible and with respect and making it clear in a friendly way. it is difficult and your video helps a lot. Thanks !!!
something that i tend to have an issue with a lot is even when i know someone is making an unreasonable request, and logically i understand I shouldn't have to justify myself or reason with them at all but somehow saying 'no' makes me feels very guilty, i think this is just my former people pleasing self showing but i can't help the guilt and it just makes me spiral, and even on occasions where i act on said guilt and end up justifying myself it leads me to end up feeling empty and taken advantage of because of having to explain my boundaries and/or morals again and again. I dont really know how to change this but very much wish to hold space for myself as to not constantly give more than i can and deplete my own energy.
also, im really grateful for these videos and youtube shorts, you seem like a wonderful person, thank you so so much for always sharing these advices with us, your videos have helped me a lot, especially when i was going through a burn-out.
I love u and ur advice Hampton.
It's interesting how it's almost expected a reason behind a No whilst a yes requires nothing.
My mother taught me that i do not owe anyone an explanation to my no & it has helped me when i myself gets a no from someone.