Majority of parents feel burned out and lonely, study finds
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- čas přidán 23. 04. 2024
- A new study from the Ohio State University found that around 62% of parents feel burned out and 66% say the demands of parenthood left them feeling isolated and lonely. NBC’s Morgan Radford reports and Dr. Thomas Kersting joins TODAY with changes parents can make to cope and navigate difficult times.
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#burnout #parents #selfhelp
That old saying about "It takes a village to raise a child" rings true here. We've isolated ourselves from real life relationships and we feel (especially as women) that we should be able to do it all without help. That's BS. Women back in the day had a whole community of other women who taught them and supported them in raising their children. We need to bring that back!
I agree 👏🏾
It does take a village to raise a child 👧
Agree agree agree
America as a whole needs to stop being individualistic. We can’t afford it anymore
@@rein3684It's so ingrained in our culture though. And it makes it really hard to make friends, even if you want them. I'm a SAHM, and it's really hard having no community. After we moved to another state, all of my friends dropped me. They didn't want to put the effort into a long term friendship, even though I was fully willing to call them and check in with them. Now with my 2 kids, 3rd on the way, even when I'm around other moms and try to be approachable, so many are standoffish and not interested. People just live in their own bubbles now and seem comfortable with that. But the comfort it the problem, because if you put no effort in to have community, then naturally you will feel/become isolated. I've been isolated for some time now, and it's very very hard. Emotionally it's really painful.
_Not_ having children was the single best decision I ever made.
Ironic how there is always someone scolding childless adults for being selfish and predicting them to be lonely when they are older (Not realizing the latter is a messed up reason to have kids in the first place).
This is another reason why parenthood is not for everyone and should not be romanticized as heavily.
Having a kid is like playing Russian roulette. Assuming that your kid will take care of you when you're old is very naïve. You might end up having a kid with a severe disability that you end up having to take care of your whole life. Also, plenty of 'good' parents end up having independent children who grow up and barely keep in touch.
Also, splitting with your spouse after having a child with them is an absolute nightmare. Make no mistake, having a child can absolutely ruin your life. If you don't absolutely want kids and aren't ready to take on all the stress that comes with being a parent, don't have any.
@@SoooooooooooonicableA lot of these parents that end up alone are not supportive or they value their independence more than doing things for the common good. Sometimes they are emotionally abusive and don't respect boundaries. It's hard to be a parent but at the same time it's incredible to have these young people in my life. If I hadn't have them I wouldn't have other people like that in my life. Kids are not friends, because those bonds are much stronger and much deeper and potentially last longer. I had lots of friends, but they have huge families and they are staying connected with their siblings and their extended family, but friendships don't always align and survive other commitments. People have kids of different ages, they end up enjoying different hobbies or how they spend time. And so it may be more difficult for the friendships to survive. Lots of grandparents walk their grandchildren to school around us. They might live together. Alternatively if they don't live together now, they might in the future. There would be fewer estranged elderly if they supported their kids. Lots of grandparents "don't owe" anything to their kids. They don't owe helping with grandkids, they don't owe supporting them through school or financially. They don't owe them housing after college. Of course they don't, but not acting in their kids best interest and not treating them with respect and support will fulfill that prophecy of not having anyone, losing housing when sick among other things. Thinking in the interest of the family as a whole is what makes it stronger and easier. The best things in life require work and commitment and doing difficult things. That is true about careers, relations, homes, and everything else.
Oh man I agree wholeheartedly! I think most people jus think it’s what everyone should do and forget to plan parenthood. I feel like an alien most of the time since I don’t have kids but I actually love living my life on my own terms! I choose to nurture other areas of life or do volunteer activities. I work with intellectual disability adults and that is jus as rewarding as having a child, in my opinion. I feel like many parents loose their identity to raising children and there has to be a balance in order to not get burnt out. To each their own but this is how I live my life.
Good analogy of Russian roulette…lol
This !
When I was in these parents shoes, 30 some years ago, my friends in our development decided to start walking at night after we put our kids to bed. We would walk around our development around 8 PM for about an hour. We wore reflective vests. We got exercise in and we talked about all things stressing us out-husbands, kids, jobs, etc. 32 years later we are still walking, not at 8 but now at 4. It is the best thing for our emotional, physical and spiritual health.
Community ❤
Having community is key. Unfortunately we have lost that in many cases and people don’t even realize it. Gotta get out there and make an effort to get involved.
Who was home with your kids while you were out walking? I have nobody to watch mine. I'm here alone with them.
@@be9988 My husband and if he wasn’t home, I didn’t go.
You're lucky. I wish I had an outlet like that. My husband works nights so I'm alone with the kids and can't leave.
Society wants to shame those that refuse to have children. Nah Sis, y’all can have that nonsense and I’m going to spend all of my time and all of my money on me. Thanks.
As a nerd/geek who is also a toy collector and goes to comic con and such, I 100% agree with this and support this :)
You got plenty of time to change your mind kid
I didn’t used to understand people who didn’t want to have kids now I have so much respect for those who are intuitive and responsible enough to choose not to have them. Becoming a parent is as equally hard as it is rewarding. And most of the time you get back what you put into the child whether good or bad.
exactly . once you have kids youre whole life revovles around them all your money , your freedom and your mental . I have one niece and a nephew thats enough for me . Can come and go as I please and sleep in if I want never understood the allure with having kids its so draining .
@victorhardin2186 change mind for what? To join some miserable club and add more misery to this planet? Rather off myself.
you gotta have a really big heart and easy personality to have kids these days. The screaming and crying of a small child after a stressful day is too much to take.
Right?? Like I’ll take the 15 cigarettes.
I’m a parent and I confirm! While my job isn’t stressful, after working 8 hours a day I can’t stand the noise my children make and I get snappy. I want peace & quiet.
@indig-mh1sl in Asia, we work 10-12 hrs. Just imagine how we are managing. We benifit that we can hire help. But raising a kid in the hands of help is not desirable to me.I hardly have time for myself.
@@attitudeproblem6462I have 3 boys all under 10 years old. Thank god my husband is super hands on. We both take our roles as parents seriously. Yes, it’s super draining and we have no help but no one force us to have kids so we gotta show up everyday and put in 200%.
Percocet is good for me.
Our society is so separated we are all too alone. Communities are needed.
Nope, communities are a scam, think for yourself, these people are not string enough
@@Tico513 someone help me find a word for this level of ignorance. A scam bud? 🤣
@@jamonieshorts6500 yup, you been fed a lie, why can't you stand on your own two feet?
@jamonieshorts6500 you can't stand on your own two feet but I'm ignorant lol
We need communism
Let me break it down:
- it takes a village to raise kids = we’ve completely decimated this
- social media and comparison = leads to more feelings of isolation
- the rate at which we consume information is higher now than ever = information overwhelm and constant noise
Yes!!!!
I don't need a study to tell me that. I see 👀 it everywhere, everyday! Yikes!
no joke! all you have to do is look around anywhere or online at social media. It was never for me and i'm glad i never had kids, but it's sad that they are having to grow up in the midst of so much struggle.
Exactly 😂
Gosh, I wonder why more and more people are staying childless 🤔
People can’t afford to have kids and barely can afford to take care of themselves.
@@rein3684 I know, I was being sarcastic.
If I was a young person today I wouldn't have kids either.
Lack of community, I believe, is a bigger problem than having children. People in the past had more kids on average, and didn't feel so isolated or lonely, because they had a strong knit community surrounding them. It was also easier to get help with the kids because of this. Nowadays, people are so disconnected. Social media doesn't fill that void.
Isolation and loneliness tends to increase as a population ages and becomes elderly. I'm glad that I'll at least have my 3 kids to rely on when I'm old, opposed to people who will grow old and have no family left to help them. That's definitely a pro to having children.
@@tryphenarose384 there’s no guarantee your children will take care of you though. There’s some elderly with children still in nursing homes. In Asia it’s normal for children to take care of their parents though
I think so many people end up having kids because of societal and family pressure. Especially as a woman, you get questioned regularly about why you don't have kids and the reaction you get after saying you don't want them is usually judgemental and disapproving. Having kids for the wrong reasons leads to bad parenting and unhappy children so we should be encouraging people to forgo parenthood unless it's something they're very passionate about.
The other bigger issue is that this culture does not support family. There needs to be a provider and a caretaker. We CAN NOT do it all
No one should "encourage" you for anything. You're an adult for God sakes! Make and be responsible for your own life choices, regardless of what people say.
@@lizab8400Absolutely not. The amount of entitled and lazy parents I already see relying on the school system and exploitative child caring labor is crazy. This will just create even more neglectful parents passing on their child onto strangers. Be an adult and take responsibility for what you created
I guarantee that absolutely no one cares if you have kids or don't have kids. Women always saying they're judged for the decision to have or not have kids. I call bs. People don't even interact anymore, let alone discuss personal issues like this.
@@sonicleaves This. One person might ask and they automatically take it personally. People are so in their feelings
Maybe there's a reason why kids like to stay in their rooms. Maybe their parents are critical, mean, demanding, or intrusive. Being alone in their rooms gives them peace.
Getting annoyed with single mothers who abandoned their men
@@dallassegno How do you know the men didn’t abandon them?
This was exactly me during my teen years.
I grew up in a neighborhood full of single mother households that were obviously struggling but most continued to still have more and more kids, seeing that made me want no parts of parenthood.
I’ve never understood why women do this to themselves.
@SincerelyAdriane
Since no one wants to hang out with them, they had to birth a few😂
One of my best decisions was to never have kids. So happy to be free, have money, peace and quiet and no stress.
Agreed
Not to mention that you may still enjoy a child from your relatives' or friends' kids if you want. I love my life childfree, and every now and then, me and my partner come with them to Disney, a cruise, or the beach. Sometimes when we visit our friends with kids for a few hours, and then on the way back home, we always say to ourselves "can you imagine having the kids' craziness we just experienced 24/7?"
Right?! I truly dont know how ppl do it! @@sak_5
@sak_5 hahahahah I can relate to that. Every time I had an appointment with my gynecologist we were around kids and then I asked myself why do I need to go
Well, this story really wasn’t for you. Do continue to enjoy your life.
Yes loneliness is a thing now but the problem is when you reach out to people, they're ready to flake on you. Then they complain. Relationships take work. It's not one sided and one person communicates all the time.
Right! This is how it is today. I've lost so many friends, because they weren't willing to remain in communication, even though I was willing and trying to keep up with them. Why would you continue to reach out to someone who clearly doesn't want to talk to you? That's how I feel about it.
So true. People don’t maintain friendships or put in any effort like they used to. Even if you don’t have kids, just people are so flaky now.
Yes exactly. These people complain that they are lonely and have no friends and yet they make no effort to reach out to people.
Ahahahqhha I have had friends that I have known for years accuse me of trying to sleep with their partners. Or who only know me when they have broken up with their partner. Lol now I am in complete isolation and loving it. I don't want any insecure women as friends. I'm straight. I have become so misanthropic last 2 years.
Yes, this! I am getting bored of ‘friends’ who rarely respond and it is always me making the effort to see them or them promising to see me then not following through. If they have kids then 3:1 on my part is fine but when it’s all me I start to not care anymore (these aren’t single parents either). It needs to go both ways.
Having kids is a trap if you enjoy having disposable income, free time and a low stress life.
Yes let’s end our bloodlines so you can have extra money to go to the movies…
@@bitcoindaddy1 you can do as you wish, that’s cool by me.
@@bitcoindaddy1what’s so important about your bloodline
@@br00klynnative58 iits more important than yours. Keep grinding that paycheck …
@@bitcoindaddy1Not a bad idea...
A lot of times parents don’t associate friendship with people that don’t have kids or single.
The opposite is also true
@rein3684 This sounds true. Parents seem to welcome friendships from other parents as though it is an exclusive club. There are exceptions of course but very few.
It's actually people find single friends often neglect needs in new parent friends because they don't know how to support i.e. helping with cleaning during the postpartum stage. They often feel its best to give them distance or to be too busy too help. Single friends also have more freedom and tend to not want to help care for a crying baby, not all but many people. Single friends unless they have experience often don't know how to be a support or "village" that parents need.
It’s probably because they don’t have a life outside of kids for those first first years, so there isn’t really anything to relate to or talk about outside of kid topics. And I doubt that people who don’t have kids want to talk about kid topics.
It’s probably because they don’t have a life outside of kids for those first first years, so there isn’t really anything to relate to or talk about outside of kid topics. And I doubt that people who don’t have kids want to talk about kid topics.
Ladies, stay childfree. Your life and sanity depend on it.
It so unfortunate that its like this in our country and if you have a medically complex child or neurodivergent child, it's even harder. I'm a mother but, I truly understand younger people making the choice not to have kids. With student loan debt, being unable to afford housing, and your medical being tied to your employment ( and hopefully your employer provides good medical because that's a whole other issue) it's really hard. Our country just dosen't care about families. We're FAKE family first here. Just look how we treat our teachers.
loneliness is one of those things I'll never understand. I don't think I've ever felt lonely before.
We single and childless are also lonely. I wish there were more compassion between us so that there would be hope for a change.
❤
The majority of parents are on their phones
Exactly this. Most modern day parents are just lazy. Parents "burnout" after 1 second of no phone time
While the child has their eyes glued to a tablet or phone.
@@jackcrackalinpop3461 Funny you say that, because I raised my nephews for a few years after my very modern sister failed them as a parent. It's simple to know what to do, but difficult to stay on it. I managed while working full time. The kids even improved in school tenfold. You know how I managed? I put the kids before myself.
My sister would always prioritize her happiness over the well being of my nephews. Most of YOU are exactly like this. You had kids, then you need to do whatever it takes. That's life. Grow up, mature and stay on it. The entire animal world can do it, so you have ZERO excuses
@@Di_777 And if the kids turn off the tablet/phone, the parents are real quick to force them to pull it out again. Tablets/Phones are the new pacifiers. It's disgusting
Why are you asking your kid 17 times to put their pajamas on? what is wrong with this statement....Parents are burnout because they aren't parenting, they are being their kid's best friend which is wrong. It's clear that children are raising children and parents are failing the new generation.
I JUST commented this.
Part of why parenting feels so hard is because so many are not actually parenting.
You are the parent, the authoritarian. Nowadays, "soft parenting" tells you to not only be the kid's friend, but you become physically, emotionally, and even mentally subservient to them.
It creates a dynamic where the kid's can tell YOU to do something like "not yell" after you *asked* them 17 times to do something simply.
Bam
Yelling is considered abuse in the eyes of the law.
Facts!
And then the teachers have to deal with them 8 hours 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Parents burnout is normal in America. Our country doesn’t offer financial assistance to parents because we have plenty of babies popping out everyday. Look at Japan, Korea and even China. Those countries beg people to have kids. They offer them financial assistance and generous parental leave. Look at advance European countries like Denmark, Finland, Belgium. They offer so much assistance to parents and kids. Parent burnout is an American problem.
We don't need more people in this world. We are already overpopulated. Plus, where do you think the "financial assistance" would come from? My decision is no kids, then, why do I have to contribute to other people's choices?
I disagree with your statement. It is parents responsibility to make baby when they can afford it. Having kids is a choice. Having kids and demand for financial support is an American spoiled mentality
@@sak_5I hope your mindset stays the same when you are old and need someone to talk to or financial support from the younger generations. All fun and games, when you are young and capable.
@@Chimiri88Just for a moment, think about all the grown children who pass time with their old parents. You’ll be surprised to notice how many children don’t care about their old parents regardless of how they were raised (good/bad). Planning a kid just because you think you will have entertainment when you are old is a huge risk.
People with kids get all sorts of tax breaks/credits. Single people are penalized.
My mother raised me as a single parent after my dad left. It was difficult because mom worked two jobs to pay the bills and moved in with her parents because women didn't have careers back then. Most women with children were stay at home mom's back then. We did have a very good network of support from my grandparents, a wonderful uncle who stepped in and helped raise me in the early years and mom's cousin. I took care of my dear mother the last five years of her life! My mother always said that I was the greatest thing that ever happened to her. I thank God everyday for the wonderful mother and family that I had. There is nothing wrong with not having children today. Its a very different world and I'll leave it at that.
💯
Yeah people with kids don’t trust family members to watch their children or hire a teenage babysitter because so many incidents of their children being abused or killed by them.
I go through this everyday…. But what saved me is my kids sense of humor 😂 they know how to make laugh when I’m sad
That is what balances the hardship of parenting. When they do something crazy lovely, something unexpectedly sweet or just suddenly hug and say how much they love you … that is the compensation of everything. Having kids is the hardest job but it’s worth it💕👶
This is sad and unfortunately there's a plethora of reasons of why this is so. I'm a mother and I do not feel burned out. Stressed sometimes, yes, but not burned out. Children really are a blessing and a lot of society has lost sight of that because other things are prioritized. When you ACTUALLY parent your child, have certain things in place, and take time out for yourself, it can be beautiful.
Are you a stay at home mom?
@@07ikkin yes
@@JacquelynKayThen you’re lucky to have the “job” part taken care of for you. You don’t have to work, so you can dedicate all your time to taking care of your kids.
Most mothers have to work, most can’t afford childcare, and most don’t have the easy, white-picket fence lifestyle that you seem to have.
You have someone making sure that all your bills are paid, you likely have familial support, and the hardest thing you have to do in a day is take your kids to school. Aside from that, as well as cleaning and stocking the house, you have all the free time in the world. See just how hard life becomes when you lose your support network.
I'm a working Mom and I feel stressed but don't feel burnt out because I have a caring and supportive husband who shares a lot of responsibility. He picks up the kids, gets them ready for school, cleans up and we work together. We are also blessed to have my mother and sister near us in case. When people work together it lightens the load. Even before having children I was stressed because I was always working, the difference is I would make work my world. I just have different priorities now. @@07ikkin
Some parents should not have kids at all.
I agree 100%
We have a major overpopulation issue. No more new people are needed.
My thoughts when I hear about parents harming their children.
Well I’m planning to get a vasectomy for me. I don’t want kids and caregiving for my grandma is taking a toll on me mentally and emotionally.
Hopefully theres a caring and competent spouse to give you a “break” who doesn’t use weaponized incompetence because children are created by 2 people and clearly.. it’s not meant for children to be raised by only 1 person. Otherwise it’s best to have help from cousins, parents, siblings, aunts where possible.
One reason I would never want to have a child in America is because here you have no other identity other than being a parent. Kids can't just walk around by themselves all day like they did in the past. Now you have to monitor them 24/7
Sometimes parents look down on me for not having children. I don't have to worry about my kids getting kidnapped or molested all the time.
@@P.90.603or shpt up in school. Or getting cancer. U literally saved your unborn from ALL SUFFERING. How loving ❤️
Why do so many parents try to convince childfree people that they should have kids?? Why do they take it so personal when someone chooses not to have kids??? 🤨🤔👀
Misery ❤'s company
Turn the wifi off if you wanna spend time with your kids
Yes this!!
I’m a single parent and my daughter is the best thing to happen to me❤. But understand if you don’t have that village of support don’t have kids 😅.
Educate yourself before having children. It's a tough job
I'm going to say the obvious: trying to parent while working full time is a recipe for burnout. Women should be able to stay home with their children full time. There should be more community engagement and support for this lifestyle!! It is the preferred way of life for most moms. A career shouldn't be forced on women in order to afford a family. That's a very destructive societal construct. Women are equally capable as men of working careers outside of the home but kids deserve the nurturing support from full time moms. Support the SAHMs, not full time day care and psych therapy. Fix the root cause of this burnout issue!
Thank you! You can’t manage the home effectively by being outside the home. And mothers should plug into groups to socialize.
Well, I’m a stay at home mom looking forward to transitioning back to working.
@@Vesta0831 That's great if it works for your family. I am just concerned that for most women, staying at home to take care of their children isn't even an economically viable option anymore. Government has made daycare (starting at pre-k) and public school more accessible. That does nothing about the root of this issue. Now some employers' insurances cover psych treatment for working moms who are having to prioritize jobs over children. Women are burning the candle at both ends, the govt is then lending a hand to help raise our kids to ease our burden,
(no, thanks), and our kids are getting whatever is left of mom.
Jobs don't pay what they used to. One income household is hard. Dual income is the new norm. I agree moms should stay at home and raise kids but these days are different.
Married 24 years. Stay at home is bad for marriages. You both have to work and share the load. You don’t need to be at home if your kids are in school all day long.
Having children is *expensive.* It’s a thankless job that never ends.
I wish the best for all burned out, lonely parents out there. I personally can’t imagine raising children in today’s world. I’m so glad I didn’t have any. 59 and zero regrets. I took two naps yesterday bc I needed it. Everyone can plan their lives as they see fit. I didn’t have “a village” so I just didn’t do it. Saw my mom struggle in the 70’s. No thanks.
You are very smart
Taking it easy has been a game changer for me. I put myself first knowing that I can only be a better parent if I am not under unnecessary stress.
Your children must be so well behaved.
Here's an idea. Don't have kids.
Nothing makes me happier than not having kids. Not being married makes me second happiest.
Better than gold or any amount of money. Never! Never! Never give it up.
Kinda jealous. Love my son with my whole being, but I miss that freedom. Could do without the hubby, but I always knew I could take or leave marriage. Love him though!
same! they aren't for everyone. childfree was absolutely the right choice for me.
@@Amber-rk6em I hear ya. I mean, there's really no such thing as Total Freedom. I am an adult with a job and bills. But, besides for that, I'm pretty free. It's nice. Lol
If parents feel like this, what about teachers,
What about them? lol teachers can always find a different career if they want, parents can’t choose to not be a parent after they already had kid(s). A career choice compared to a lifestyle are 2 totally different things love
Unfortunately, many teachers have to deal with misbehaved children whose parents let them get away with anything. They aren't fulfilling their responsibilities as parents.
@@08tummyA lifestyle they chose. It wasn't forced upon them. They chose to become parents.
People shouldn’t have kids if they can’t afford them.
I definitely agree with your assessment
Totally agree. Lots of comments asking for "financial assistance". Really? If people got kids, that was their choice! If anything, they should "financially incentivize" those who don't want kids helping with this overpopulated world.
So only the wealthy can have kids now? Sounds like a wonderful plan. ETA: And I say that as a childfree by choice woman. Literally nobody but the upper middle class and wealthy can comfortably have children in America these days which is absurd.
Yeah…but then only the rich get to have kids? 😢 whole thing sucks.
Yep! My mom can’t even afford retirement cause you had me and sister. She’s putting the burden on me. She’s not too bright sadly for me
TBH: 40yo here. Being a single parent was a complete burn-out. Missed a lot of opportunities, as well as my youth. Was diagnosed with severe depression in my 20's & was prescribed 2 different medications for it. So glad my child moved out as soon as they turned 18...You can reply any comments you want. It only matters I'm being honest with myself...🙄🙄
Moving out at 18 was tough but neccessary bc my own mother felt like you whole time I was there and it was obvious. Would've done us both a huge favor had she just opted out of "parenting" all together🙄...just being honest
This is why I support women who choose to remain child free or have reborn babies. Society puts pressure on women to have children when studies show they aren’t happy and experiencing loneliness in comparison to child free women.
I would be afraid to have and raise a child today. It's the wild wild west. Kids can get access to anything and chances are they will have some sort of so called "trauma" later in life and blame you. Then you'll also be on the hook for their 100k college tuition, car, wedding and on and on. I am child free have money and looking forward to retiring as a wage slave to corporate. No need to give your prime years behind a cubicle and leaving behind a legacy is moot we all be forgotten after 3 generations.
Love my niece and nephew at a distance
same!! lol. my sister has 3 busy kids under the age of 11 and there is no way i would've been happy with that lifestyle. it's just not for everyone!
Same 💯💯
It's the bestttttttt. 😊
Yet comments online are always like have kids. It’s the best decision ever ! Lol you are evil if you don’t have kids and will be lonely and unhappy. Meanwhile studies show differently smh
I know that I would be miserable having children...yet they keep trying to convince me otherwise.
Crabs in a bucket mentality
My wife and I often discuss the concept, "it takes a village to raise a child". We reflect on old towns where families were surrounded by aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and long-time family friends. In such environments, children could grow up with less parental supervision.
In contrast, today's parents often find themselves constantly with their children, scheduling playdates, and hovering over their every move. This not only isolates parents but also necessitates hiring nannies, adding to the financial strain. With inflation and rising food prices, it's no surprise that many of our friends are hesitant to have children.
On top of these challenges, there is the added pressure of preparing them for numerous exams, the escalating costs of college tuition, and the scarcity of jobs. Despite these hardships, the smiles from my children keep me going. I sincerely hope they lead a happy life, knowing that their journey may be more challenging.
💯
Kudos to this man for immediately recognizing that the heavy lifting falls heavily on mothers. 👏🏽👏🏽We are burnt out and need involved partners and our villages back.
Notice how they are not mentioning the husbands. A lot of these women are single mothers.
I have no kids and I feel burnt only when I’m at work 😂 but never lonely ppl need to learn to be ok with being by themselves I never understood that I love my alone time
I pray for all parents to feel love, support and peace of mind.
Im a mom of 3 sons ages of 27,24 , 17 and raised my stepson now 27. It was tough when they were small but I love being a mom so I would get creative and stay active by finding family activities to do with them. Now as adults I cry and I miss them so badly. I miss them as small children. I knew in my heart it was a temporary stage and I reminded myself to remain calm and was patient and raised them in ways that were easy for me to deal with. I had to adjust to lots of changes and sacrifices like be a stay home mom for 3 yrs after the birth of each child to prep them for pre k, worked night shifts once they went back to school and things like that so it was different at first but I managed to pull thru y the grace of God ❤
So happy to hear this. My sister and I both have 3 boys each and we remind each other every day that this stage is only temporary. We are soaking up every minute of it. Soon our boys will all grow up and leave even if we asked for them to stay with us. 😢
Doesn’t surprise me. Having kids in 2024 is a blessing but also a massive mistake. Financially supporting kids is in an overinflated economy means overworking yourself just to survive.
I have an autoimmune illness. I felt isolated for 2 years during the pandemic then isolated through my pregnancy and 17 months into being a new mom. Burnout is an understatement.
A lot of women got pregnant by random men and not in commtted relationships during the pandemic.
I am 29 and for my 30th birthday i am going to get a Vasectomy no wife no kids for me NO THANK YOU!
Cool story but honestly what else are you gonna be doing with your time? Arts and crafts
@victorhardin2186 well I am going to school for a associate degree in cybersecurity
Same for me, only I already got my tubes removed.
@@teoleno4019 really? How was the recovery?
Being a parent for the most part sucks. You spend all your waking time worrying....and you don't get enough sleep. I don't believe anybody can be happy if they don't enough sleep. And I quite frankly don't care either! Parents like to look down on people with no children. What I can say is that people with no children don't have to worry about kids getting kidnappedn. When childless people die, they die with freedom.
ChildFREE
He didn't answer the last question. It takes years until the youngest kid gets to middle school or high school. How do parents become less lonely before their kids are in middle school? Being everything and everyone to their young kids is exhausting. A kid can't run outside to spend time with neighboring kids because there might not be any or it's not safe. They can't run 5 minutes away to their grandma because of traffic safety and law concerns. Those issues can't be saved without additional resources or connections. But they could sometimes be solved by fixing infrastructure or things outside of parents control. Geez the nearest playground doesn't allow kids younger than 12 to be there by themselves. The school doesn't allow their students to play after school without parental supervision. This is handicapping our kids! How are they supposed to grow up to be normal human beings?
Stop having babies without husbands!
The hardest thing you will ever do, without question.
Tell that to a coal miner.
Now that people have to parent 24/7 everyone has realized children are a huge responsibility. Boomer parents had day jobs and socialized with friends in the evenings. Free range children weren't even thought about until the street lights came on, now parents have to participate in every waking moment in their children's lives. Kids need time to shine on their own and parents need that time to recharge their batteries. I mostly feel bad for the kids since they are subjected to the New Parental Regime.
Grew up latch key kid. Parents never spent time with us. They would go to parties or have us kids go upstairs. Our Boomer parents were D bags. I am 47 with 11 year olds. I spend all of my time with them. I take them to adult parties. Nice restaurants. Travel. We love it. I made sure I was the opposite of my parents…
@mikethemechanic7395 I'm sure you'll do your best, but don't be surprised if your kids get on whatever form of Tik Tok that exists in the near future to complain about your shortcomings.
Only 62%? I thought it was at least 99%
Im glad i dont have kids
Me too
What about when you’re old? Who’s going to take care of you?
@@rein3684 myself lol and majority of kids today put their parenta in a home.
@@PraveenSrirambut you’re beautiful
@@criscris9567 thanks for the compliment… made me feel good. Thanks again
The worst thing ever happened to me.
Asian households (at least in the groups i know) have grandparents that can help babysit. I'm not sure if this is true for other families, but my parents really benefitted from having my grandparents look over us while they worked. I have a bunch of memories growing up with my grandfather and grandma
One thing I noticed is that kids with grandparents babysit tend to do better academic than those without grandparents babysit.
We help our children with babysitting our grandchildren. It is hectic but it is worth it. Our parents helped us out. You can’t say enough about grandparents being the lives of their grandchildren. It is an excellent support system. Not everyone is so fortunate.
That used to be the normal in America about 3 generations ago
I ended up living away from all of my relatives and close friends. As an adult immigrant it takes eternity to make new deep connections with other people, finding community or any groups to participate in at all. I know I'll have ZERO support if I had a child and that's a horror scenario. Especially for someone with cognitive disabilities who gets exceptionally exhausted from noise alone (and by noise I mean ANY sounds).
I helped start a young families group at church and became a home room parent at my child’s school. It wasn’t instant by any means but now I have very good friends from both endeavors. What really helped was using my influence as a homeroom parent to put together a table of parents for the schools fundraiser purse bingo. We are all still friends! It also helps my parents help out with the kids.
Great idea!!!
Social media has destroyed real world interactions and have set expectations so high on people it has created mass alienation. The dating scene is just a massive meat market fueled by swipes and likes. It's absolutely awful.
The only thing that gives me strength is the fact that my kids will only be this little for a little bit.
I just hope and pray they grow up to be happy adults❤
Human beings are lonely creatures. Don't rely on your loneliness to someone else who may make it miserable.
Burnout for me looked like obtrusive thoughts of violence playing through my head like a bad movie. If I don’t get rest or medication, it’s a short step to suicidal ideation. I’ve been dealing with this as a single adult for a long time. Idk if I could handle having kids. I’d love to be a mom but only if I was fully supported.
I am dealing with the same too while pregnant with our second. Most difficult time ever 😢
@@Faithfulyme I’m sorry. The medication they gave me for obtrusive thoughts was called Zyprexa. Then they put me on Zoloft. They would probably harm your pregnancy. Have you talked to your doctor about it?
@@Faithfulyme I replied to you but now my comment is deleted. Lmk if you want me to repost it.
@@smrk2452 i can still see it so weird. I did but the doctor I was referred to talk to has lots of patients and doesn’t seem to be able to fit me in her schedule so far. I wouldn’t want to take anything while pregnant.
@@Faithfulyme ok then try to just rest. What you’re going through is not abnormal. I saw a news report on it years ago that I haven’t been able to find. They interviewed new moms who said they had obtrusive thoughts of hurting their babies in the weirdest ways. It’s scary and disturbing. Women are afraid to ask for help. I have no kids and it was still uncomfortable to admit these thoughts were happening. Doctors said it was part of OCD - obsessive thoughts, compulsive behavior to alleviate those thoughts. After medication and lifestyle changes I’m better now.
Becoming a parent is as challenging as it is rewarding.
Actually planning for your kids and having them in a marriage with someone you planned on having kids with and are on the same page with cures a lot of this. I’m very curious about the marriage status of the people highlighted in this and if they planned to have kids when they did.
EXACTLY!!! THIS is a strong single mommy issue 😅lol , you need both parents for it too work , these people have been told they don't need no man though!
@@radicalizedoffline1103 you’re making way too much obvious sense. So much sense that they won’t even bring it up in the discussion.
My friends and I are in the 40’s and they are just now starting a family. I already have 3 with my youngest being grade school level. They gave me a hard time when I would talk about the struggles of parenthood and now they going through it now. All I can say is I told you so…
But I thought having kids meant the best thing in the world and if you don’t have kids that means your a loser that will die alone ?
Hey they signed up for this.
People have kids when they are not ready. People have kids for the wrong reasons, maybe because it make them stay together or maybe because it will be a cute baby or because it was an accident and it was an infidelity situation and a child was a product my point is people need to know the pros and cons of having a child and need to take the childs feelings in the future into consideration
You would never catch me having a kid. I love my freedom
Stop the description of adults not reproducing in life “less”. We’re child”free.” It’s a choice for most people.
Exactly. And this segment is cementing my choice all over again.
Childless
It's not parental burnout, it's burnout trying to play two roles. You cant be 100% at your job and 100% at parenting. Something has to give. We need the nuclear family back because being a parent and homemaker is a full time job. People are trying to do 2 jobs at once; of course they are going to burn out. Societies lies has created this epidemic.
The real societal lie is that nuclear families are healthy for anyone involved. What’s actually missing is community. Nuclear families ONLY benefit the husband.
Maybe these women need to stop abandoning men for no fault
I know...being a parent is harder when you're a single mom. These women are all over the place. They want kids, then leave their men, and then complain that life is hard.
Jamaicans don’t get burned out,
THEY JUST A BELT
"you let him hit it raw🫢, you didn't have second thoughts 🤔, now you a single mom 🤱🏼🤱🏾🤱🏻🤱, now you a single mom😅" - Brandon Jamal
At least they come with snacks lol
ABSOLUTELY! FREAKING ABSOLUTELY! 😭 Everything these moms are saying is EXACTLY how I've been feeling, that no one around me is understanding cuz I'm the only one with kids! Every Friday & Saturday night is the worst for me cuz I'm stuck inside every week. It's hardest in the summer time too!
Can you find a mom’s group online & meet up in person? 💖
@@Sun_and_Sea_ I don't like social media
"Can you get your Pjs on"?......Uh no. You're the mom. Your children need to learn that you are the parent and when they're directed to do something, you do it.
At no point should you be asking your child to do something "17 times."
All of these soft parent advocates are advising people to their detriment.
Society & those before us failed the new generation of parents. It was always kids are a blessing, which they are, but it was never they are a blessing but it is hard work, it takes patience, it is at times difficult, it is exhausting. People always left out the not so pleasant parts & just referred to parenting as a blessing therefore leading to the belief that this is how one must see parenting & if they see it any other way, then they are failing or are not normal. That is a problem because that is one of the most important but challenging jobs a person ever takes on.
To be fair, the previous generation didn't teach the younger generation to be promiciusous and get pregnant by random men.
As a man i remember elon musk saying: we are becoming childless society we have low population, and im afraid it's only going down from here.
Please dont bring kids into this dumphole of a world please dont. Its your choice if you want to i wouldn't recommend you do just sayin 🤷♂️
S. Korean women may be lonely but at least they have stopped passing this misery onto future generations. 😊
my ex wife's mother told her she could do better than me. so she divorced me and took my child. I was reduced to nothing but an ATM that spits out cash every 2 weeks, and a sperm donor. i never saw him again till he turned 18. when he turned 18 my son swore to never talk to her again for hiding him from me. to all you single mothers out there, you get what you deserve. karma is real, and you will get yours.
There is No village it’s a lie !
So happy that I subscribed this channel ❤
Gee whiz. I wonder where her husband is.
Yep, that must be taken into consideration, along with the fact that statistics show that in most cases they petitioned for the divorce and full custody in order to receive child support but let's not discuss that.
I don't think it matters. Even married ones end up doing it all by themselves.
Loneliness is really a real thing.. and being a single mom of 3 makes things even more difficult.. but we got this💪🏽
Could it be because she is a single parent?
I'm willing to bet that this is largely a single mother issue.
Or just not have kids
Ummmm and they sit there and think they are better than childless folks after they start a family. So, cry me a river
Exactly. We know you struggling but I’ll feed into your delusions of grandeur.
Grandparents don't want to help😂
Yeah and tbh, I’m not sure I blame them. A lot of them are too old and this is their last chance at freedom.
@@fabfemme800 I ain't gone front my moma had to raise a lot of babies growing up :(
Should have thought of that before popping out kids in this economy.
The economy will get worse without popping out kids. Also, who are you to tell others how their families should or shouldn't look like.
@@laliday Didn't you understand the video? According to this report, lots of parents feel burnt out and lonely. If people planned their kids, they shouldn't feel like that, but of course, most of these people are like savages popping kids to this world without any planning.
My husband and I have 2 kids. One born a few years before the pandemic and one born at the height of the pandemic. Both were planned and I became pregnant with the 2nd before the pandemic started. We couldn't have predicted things getting so bad.
@@be9988Having kids is a huge responsibility, at least the first 15 years. So one should plan for the worst hoping for the best. Even one should think about dead of one or both parents, divorces, disabilities, economic hardships (losing job, crisis), etc; once one has all that in mind and the couple still wants kids, go for it.
@sak_5 We planned for everything. We are financially comfortable, own our house and cars, no debt, well paying jobs, life and disability insurance... that still doesn't mean everything will be a walk in the park. You can plan for everything under the sun, be responsible and be there for your kids and still feel burnt out because people aren't machines. I was child free once too and remember thinking like you. That's why my husband and I waited years after we married to make sure we were financially stable and planned only for the number of children we could afford even considering unforseen circumstances.
Are these single parents? I think that is what creates the burn out. Being a married single mother or a single mother divorced or with a bum baby daddy.
Can we STOP With Having These KIDS .. Ladies..... Again i ask....
Have Them For.....WHAT!!! 😞
For gov't assistance and child support.
Exactly. We are keeping a world going that does not even like us. 😂😂😂
*EVERYONE, parents, childless adults, CHILDREN, seniors, experience burnout! It's called LIFE!*
Exactly. That's just life and nothing newsworthy. I'm first generation American and this segment is funny. My parents would go days without food or clean water. Clothes were a miracle to have.
I know. People are such whiners anymore. Single, childfree guy here and I get burned out and lonely. That's life.
No way, speak for yourself. I'm child-free and as a result I don't have to chase after kids 24/7, I don't have to worry about them going to bed at a specific time or me going to bed at a specific time, I don't have to worry about yelling at them because they won't do what I told them to do, I don't have to worry about how I'm going to pay all the bills that would be much higher because it would be for several people and then on top of that making sure that we're all eating, I don't have to worry about anything like that. I do whatever I want, whenever I want and my bills are just for one. So no, it's no where even close to the same as people that have kids! People that have kids, that's true forever lasting burn out. Stop trying to pretend & lie
@@IndependentPrettyGirlis It's a choice and you're an adult. That's called growing up. Life is stressful for adults. Your ancestors are rolling in their graves hearing you whine over potentially getting to raise your beautiful offspring. My God some of you are so privileged