Strategies For Oppositional & Defiant Behavior
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- čas přidán 7. 02. 2019
- Behavior issues are on the rise in our kids these days, and it's often difficult for families and teachers to know how to manage these challenging issues. Here are 10 strategies for supporting kids who have defiant and oppositional tendencies!
"You Can't Make Me, But I Can Be Persuaded"
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"The New Strong-Willed Child"
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"The Kazdin Method"
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"The Defiant Child"
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Websites:
www.aacap.org/aacap/families_...
www.webmd.com/mental-health/q...
Please get a Speech-Language Pathologist working with you if you're concerned about your child's communication development! Find one here:
find.asha.org/pro#f:@Provider=[Speech-Language%20Pathologist]
Inform yourself further through these resources . . .
www.icdl.com/education/tl/conn...
Fun play activities (with guidance):
www.hanen.org/Helpful-Info/Fun...
Warning signs of a social/cognitive delay:
www.babycenter.com/0_warning-s...
Echolalia -
• Echolalia
Echolalia: Teaching Appropriate Greetings -
• Echolalia: Teaching Ap...
Echolalia: Practical Strategies -
• Echolalia: Teaching Ap...
Also check out . . .
Calming Activities:
• Calming Activities For...
Teaching Turn-Taking:
czcams.com/users/edit?o=U&vide...
Teaching How To Answer Yes/No Questions:
• Video
Teaching Commenting Skills:
• Teaching Commenting Sk...
Using A Communication Book:
• Using A Communication ...
Using Visuals With NonVerbal Kids:
• Using Visuals With Non...
Visual Cues:
• Visual Cues
Integrating Kids With Special Needs: Visual Prompts:
• Integrating Kids With ...
Visual Strategies book:
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Laminator:
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Sensory hints:
• Video
Find a sensory-smart Occupational Therapist:
www.sensorysmarts.com/find_an...
Discover some of the additional amazing equipment and resources I recommend here:
www.chirpcc.com/resources.html
Find out more about me and my life on my personal blog:
kittensfromthedarkside.blogspo...
Chirp is making church welcoming for people with special needs and their families; equipping families to provide excellent support for their developing children.
Thank you for watching and for caring about the kids in your life!
I absolutely love how you referred to prayer to calm yourself down to be able to deal with difficult kids. Great content and very realistic.
I'm glad the video was helpful! :)
I love the comment
"We don't negotiate with terrorists"
Thanks for watching! :)
I considered getting it as a tattoo for a second. Brilliant.
The struggle is real. It is exhausting to be the child conscience all day long in the classroom. Plus teach and hope all the students are getting their needs met.
Teaching is a HARD job. You're exactly right that we have to teach the kids how to hear their consciences. And no child ever gets all their needs met AND the kids with the most needs often soak up more of the attention. Quite right that it's exhausting. On the positive side, every day's work makes a difference for children.
After years this is the first I have heard anyone actually tie conscience and mention of God together. I have gotten so much help after ten minutes, thank you!
Thank you for your kind comment! I'm happy the video helped you. ❤️
I've watched so many vids on this and not one has said anything about swearing so I'm grateful it's not a trait I see with my granddaughter lol I also don't like the label just because I see a lot of kids with the same behaviors...strategies are what I look for :))
Here I am back for your expertise! I miss your uploads but I hope you are doing well and I just want to thank for you the giveaway you hosted years ago where you sent me and another person a John Deere Gearation Motorised Gears toy. My kids are STILL enjoying it and you sent it to us June 4 2019! I just wanted to thank you again for the toy/ the fun experiences we’ve had with it and for also helping me stay sane with these types of videos to help me be a better parent in understanding my children’s needs and how best to handle them. You’re such a blessing 💕
Oh goodness! That's very sweet! I am doing GREAT. Honestly, I'm happier than I've ever been. Since my husband and I moved back home to Minnesota (after 25 years in Arizona) last October, we have family nearby and a new home to organize, so I have felt busy enough that I wondered if there was a good reason to continue uploading videos. Also, I'm not running a classroom right now, so I'm not as inspired by my students as I was when I was spending more time with lovely kids, BUT your message is so encouraging that I think maybe the time has come to start uploading again. :) I do have a video filmed that I've been putting off editing. I'm thrilled that your kids are enjoying the gears toy! I still enjoy playing with mine, too. xo
Holy cow!! I am amazed at how closely this fit my kiddo and the sugggestions/techniques are exactly what I needed! Thank you for making this video.🤗
I'm glad this video was helpful for you! :)
I just love you. Your method is awesome. Help. with my seven-year-old who is being very aggressive at school
Thank you for the sweet comment! :) You are appreciated. I will be praying for your sweet child who's having trouble being sweet. xo
This gets in the way of my ADHD I don't wanna be a mean and angry person no more some days are better than others and I can only spend so long in a social situation
It's hard to work on becoming a better person, but it's worth it! Good for you for getting to know your limits.
I have so many questions. My middle child really struggles. School was so, so awful, and in the end, we decided to homeschool. He's doing better in a lot of ways, but it's still hard. People always try to reassure me that there's nothing different about him, and I think that's because you're only seeing snapshots of him comparatively speaking, and it's after years of work
Yes, these oppositional and defiant kids often present well to the public, but when parents/ teachers see them every day, the differences in behavior and self-regulation become much clearer. I recommend the book, "The Explosive Child" (and I have a video just on the strategies from that book). Feel free to e-mail me or leave particular behaviors in the comment section so I could even make a video about what I would do with that behavior. Many kids have similar behaviors, and your situation could help other families, too. Thank you for loving your child by helping him learn better coping strategies!
Thank you for having real solutions to share and help us.
Thank you for watching! xo
Thank you so much for your videos. I have learned so much from them. This topic especially is something I need to learn more about
I'm glad you have learned from my videos! Thank you for watching and for your comment. Challenging behavior is one of the most difficult issues and I'm always interested in learning more, too!
Thank you for this video! It was very informative!
Thanks for your kind comment! xo
Thank you for the help. I'm struggling to know the best way to handle cussing and meaness at home when natural consequences don't make sense. For example. If he is reminded that jumping is for outside not inside on the furniture and he ignores you. So you remove him and put him in his room and this triggers a meltdown, tantrum, cussing etc. Typical he loses a bonus thing like tv time, dessert.... but when I tell him that the tantrum gets worse. I really just feel what I'm doing is not working.
Thanks for watching and for your comment! Usually I don't do any sort of punishments. If I'm working with a child who is jumping on the couch, I would say, "I can jump on the trampoline or outside". I'm not sure your son's age or developmental level, but I would start by making sure he can jump somewhere. Sometimes kids really NEED to jump. See my most recent video on proprioceptive sensory input here: czcams.com/video/4R2DD4nomjU/video.html
If your son truly needs to jump to calm himself, then please make sure you have an appropriate way for him to do that. I have found rebounder trampolines for $10 at garage sales (there's always Amazon or Target, of course).
Once I have an appropriate place for him to get his needs met, I would remove him from the couch if he jumps there, and go over to where he CAN jump with him. There's no need for punishment/time out/losing things. We remind kids what is ok and what isn't ok verbally (my simple rules are: "I keep myself safe, I keep other people safe, and I keep our stuff safe!" - repeat lots and lots throughout every day). When your child is jumping on the couch, you might say, "I keep our stuff safe and jumping on the couch isn't keeping it safe. I can jump on the trampoline instead."
This strategy is based on some assumptions, since I don't know your situation, but if you're interested in talking more, please feel free to e-mail me at christie[at]chirpcc[dot]com
This IS MY STRUGGLE!!!
This was so useful, so practical. Thank you.
Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching!
Oh you’re so nice lol “being strong willed” being bossy is my description. It’s ok I understand your professional point of view. This video no longer really applies to my 16 year old but u do understand these kiddos. More than many others
Thanks for your kind words. I do specialize in younger kids, which means most of my videos have that slant. If you are having trouble with an older child, you might try "The Explosive Child" (book). I found it really helpful with my older students!
@@ChirpSpecialNeeds THANK YOU I will give that a read. Right now is an incredibly difficult time for us/her. Trying to empathize with her way of thinking is incredibly difficult for me. Her natural thought process is so different from the norm. It’s hard. It affects her relationships w not only myself but her friend group. They’ve reached out a couple times and also get very frustrated w her. Makes me so sad. I just wish she could see things do not have to be this hard let go of some of that control and things will be ok. At this point I think the sound of my voice annoys her to no end and therefore anything I try to tell her or teach her isn’t heard. She is on probation right now for fighting in school and the courts are recommending treatment for her behavior and her occasional alcohol use (once a month is what she’s said). I find this recommendation scary. Only because it’s such a fine line dealing with the odd. It could be a make or break. So the facility she goes to HAS to be equipped on dealing w ODD/manipulation. If u know of any place centered on ODD that would be great. Or is a certain program better than others. Like wilderness therapy vs traditional. Sorry for the winded response. Thanks for any input.
I'm not an expert with teens, so I don't have any specific recommendations for you. There are some good books out there, but it sounds like a professional in your area would probably help you the most. If you can find someone through this network, I recommend it: livesinthebalance.org I'm very sorry it's so hard right now. Hope it gets better soon.
@@ChirpSpecialNeeds thanks. I appreciate your reply ❤️
This was a great and helpful video. Thank you!!
I'm glad it was helpful! If there are additional questions you have, feel free to leave them in the comments or send me a private message! :)
Thanks so much!
Thanks for watching!
🙏 Thank you.
I hope it was a helpful video for you! xo
Thank you!
Thanks for watching! I hope it was helpful! :)
Great advice❤
Thanks for watching and for your comment! :)
Hi, I am a foster mom and my foster son who is going to be three is having a lot of behavior issues at school. Could we do a video consult? I need some more tools as he gets older. He does seem to have a lot of the tendencies you mentioned.
Yes, definitely! E-mail me at christie[at]chirpcc[dot]com to set something up! :)
Sorry things are difficult for him at school. Thanks for being proactive to help him!
I need help for my 19 yr old. He started weed 3 yrs ago and I believe it amplified his moods. In the fall he was in weed induced psychosis! He's on Abilify once a month. Still no cancelling. He is angry, argue, grudge holder, extremely smart, hated his mom during the psychosis. It's always a battle.
I'm sorry you're having difficulties in your relationship with your son. It sounds very hard and sad. It sounds to me as if he needs to chat with his psychiatrist about his medications and his recreational drug use and his moods. If he's an independent adult, that's something he needs to do himself. If you are responsible for him because of delays/disorders, please talk to his doctor about these difficulties! Best wishes.
Definitely go for therapy. It can take months to truly diagnose and they might temporarily diagnose. This sounds like BPD or bipolar too.
Do you live in the Phoenix area by chance ? Do you do private consulting ?
I lived in the Phoenix area until this past October, when I moved back to Minnesota where I grew up. I do some private consulting, yes. We could do virtual visits, but I obviously can't do in person at this point if you're in Arizona. Hope you're well!
Oh my gosh in the first 5 min you describe my kid. I need help when he goes off yelling at the top of his lungs arguing non stop crying. This goes on for 30 minutes 45 minutes I try let’s breathe while holding his hands breathing with him he tries to break away. I try hugging him he’s yelling in my ear. Please have any ideas ??
What happens when you use the strategies I talk about in the video? It takes awhile to create new patterns in a family!
Usually giving kids some time alone to calm down is the most helpful rather than trying to hold them or use logic with them.
@@ChirpSpecialNeeds I absolutely try to put him alone he won’t stay and just continues to yell. NO bad words just yelling crying saying same thing over and over.
@@ChirpSpecialNeeds I run a in home daycare. I know what started this at 3 this little boy told his parents what to do and they did it I would talk to them please don’t let him be in control but they didn’t see the harm I his request. Now he gets mad if other kids don’t do as he says he pushes past them knocks them down it was there fault they were in his way. I teach preschool so he does great with learning. And I tell him often how proud of him I am. But for no reason he will hit. Or trip another child And blame them for his doing it. It’s crazy. But it’s his temper fits yelling crying. Demanding I listen I have at times he says same things over and over and trying to get him to understand what he did was wrong. Is out of the question Trying to get him to calm down. Is hopeless. If I walk away till he calms down that’s when up goes the volume of yelling crying screaming
Are there additional supports (speech therapy, occupational therapy?) available in your area? It sounds as if this little guy and his family need some specialized support. If you're in the United States, I can help you find some help near you.
@@ChirpSpecialNeeds no help from anyone I need help please give me advise
Thank you for sharing your experiences. Greatly appreciated ❤
Thank you for watching and commenting! :)
I tuned out last time at the mention of god. I'm pagan. But I came back I understand what you're saying now.
I'm glad you tuned back in. We don't all share the same beliefs and that's ok!
There should be a mandated course to be a parent, even a license. This is not the responsibility of the teachers
Teachers are required to deal with whatever comes their way, so it's good to have options and strategies! But these strategies are meant for parents, too.
@ChirpSpecialNeeds yes, we teachers do have to deal with whatever comes our way! Thank you for this information! I'm trying to learn how to deal with a child with these tendencies. We can't toss the kid aside. We have to learn how to deal with them.
Agreed! These strategies are like a life preserver for some kids. We need to HELP them when they're struggling.
Why do we care about your weather or your sweater? What are your credentials.
If you don't like my content or personality, please simply click away from my videos rather than leaving a rude comment. I am a Speech-Language Pathologist (CCC-SLP) with a Masters Degree in Communication Disorders (specialty in Speech-Language Pathology). I have worked in this field for 20 years in a wide variety of contexts and I have written a curriculum that is used across the country (and in a couple other countries, too).