Limerence - Everything You NEED To Know
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- čas přidán 1. 06. 2021
- Limerence. It's a word that was coined back in the 1970's by Dr. Dorothy Tennov, when she was studying people who identified themselves as being madly in love.
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This is Relationship Radio an extension of Marriage Helper International hosted by renowned marriage and relationship expert, Dr. Joe Beam and the CEO of Marriage Helper, Kimberley Holmes. We answer your questions directly with research-based principles that you can implement immediately, regardless of the situation. What we teach will not only make your relationships better, but will also help you to become the best version of yourself along the way. Be sure to subscribe to this CZcams channel and click the bell to be notified every time we release new content. If you have a relationship question, follow the link in the description to see which topic is up for discussion this week. We can't wait to answer your questions and have you join our community. Turn up the volume and prepare to take notes as we begin this week's episode of Relationship Radio.
Look on the internet and find things about it. As a matter of fact, like any other topic, typing the word on Google and all of a sudden 95 million responses pop-up in seven seconds or less, maybe 0.7 seconds or less. And yet a lot of people who talk about limerence are actually just quoting Tennov from back in the 70's. And she was brilliant. I mean, she opened the door and so we give her kudos, but there's been a lot more research since then. We at Marriage Helper wanting to working with situations with couples, or I should say individuals in limerence with another person repeatedly. Therefore, in the last 25 years, we have worked with a couple after couple where at least one of those spouses has been in this limerick relationship, "madly in love" with someone else. So we have a quarter century experience in dealing with it, have done our own research about it, as well as continually staying on top of the other research that's out there.
So let's talk about it. If your spouse believes and says vehemently, "I am in love with someone else not you." Is that a valid kind of love? Is it what people call true love? Does it mean that your marriage is over? Or is it this thing that we referred to as limerence? Hi, I'm Dr. Joe Beam with Marriage Helper, along with Kimberly Holmes. Kimberly is our CEO, the guru that leads our whole organization and my boss. So I have to be very careful what I say, because I'm doing this program with my boss. So Kimberly, when it comes to this thing called limerence, I know that we get asked about it so often that sometimes we want to talk about something else and yet it's out there. It is a rampant. And I get invited to come even to marriage counseling centers where they're sometimes 10-25 marriage counselors working out of a center with their degrees from all kinds of different universities. And none of them ever were taught about limerence when they were in college. As a matter of fact, there are some people out there who still claim that limerence doesn't exist. Yet the research is ample and fascinating. Plus, we've had experience with so many people over the years. I mean, decades of people with this thing that we identified as limerence. So why don't you think it is that some counselors and therapists have never heard of it, or perhaps think it doesn't exist?
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Hi
My husband has another woman for more than a decade, I just find out he doesn’t have any remorse or willing to apologize. He s staying away from me to avoid wife and husband communication. I’ve tried everything, nothing work. Is there any hope
@@guirlenelouis5429 Hi, we're so sorry you're going through this. There IS hope. We've seen marriages saved after years of affairs and/or divorce. Call us at 866-903-0990 so we can help.
Will SSRI pills help in increasing the serotonin level and maybe the person in Limerence state will come to they senses?
@@vladsworld6691 .Getting your ex back/ crush /so /spouse / third party/ shouldn't be a problem I got my love back with the help of Mr osekhametalor
Aqqw
Thank you Dr. Joe and Kimberley, I bought y’all’s marriage kit last year and was blown away at the wrong things I was doing in our marriage. There was deception and this last time last year, divorce papers were drawn up and printed. Today we are in our new house, with our 10 month old son, and are in such a better place. All divorce papers are off the table officially forever. We will never let our relationship get to what it was. THANK y’all for giving me the tools to fix a better me, even if my husband decided to keep the other relationship. Thank you for giving us and our new little family a new beginning. Much love from Texas.
Congratulations to you and your family!!! We're so glad the course helped. We're honored to have been part of your journey.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..
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@MALI - FITNESS I really had to accept that our marriage wouldn’t work and put myself and my son first. I started working on the pies and working on smart contact. Once I started doing that he came around. Focus on just being the best you you can be. My heart hurts you have to go through this. I hope this helps. Good luck!
@saiyan1 how are things going mine maybe leaving me
Imagine experiencing limerence and thinking it’s true love. Then after it wears off you still try to hold on to the person because of the memory of them that is connected to limerence.
Some monkey branch experience limerence.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..
Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝
Yeah. Double the pain.
Gods way of sayin “DONT CHEAT!”
I'm in the boat of realising I am in limerence. I'm married with issues, and suddenly had an unexpectedly connected with a co-worker. Things went very fast very quickly and was in shock. It was out of character of me. I felt amazing and brain fogged at the same time. My SO asked me so often what am I feeling. And I just didn't know. I felt such strong feelings of love while also feeling (where has this come from?) . I need to work out where I go from here. And at least my mind has more clearance of thought of knowing what is happening in my mind. Its horrible to go through but gives me a kick up the butt to sort my marrige out before I can make any clear thought processing. Thank you
@@brandon6231 I will and that's what I'm saying. Thanks for comment
@@jamesgriffiths1865 Yeah no.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
Yeah…. After finding out about my wife’s affair, I have no desire to work anything out with her. I’m not saying it’s only her fault, marriage is a two way street. We lost a son 18 years ago and I never processed that fully and either had she. Lots of awful things said to each other over that time, we tried to work it out… but not professionally. Great videos- great work and I only wish I had found this team years ago.
Thank you! I have so many questions.
Hey Trina Singleton, so sorry to hear you are going through this. We would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
Dr. Beam, my wife of 27 years has filed for divorce and has moved in with a man 23 years older than she is (he is 85!). She has vilified me as a monster, even though I was never controlling or physically violent. I want to save my marriage, I love my wife more than words can express. I see myself in this state of Limerence over my wife, especially the emotional and physical effects. I am working on mending myself, but I can't not love my wife, and I'm praying for a miracle to save my marriage! Please Help Me!
How are you?
What are your thoughts on how an affair is a “choice” in consideration of the neurochemical impact of limerence?
My spouse had concealed relationships with someone and now she left and moved to his place and want to file a divorce please help me
I just experienced this and it is painful.... leaving a toxic situation for another relationship right after having a baby. I was so infatuated with this young woman online . But the pain of leaving what I created for what I truly wanted caused me to go thru a year of hell. I still like the girl but had we to go out separate ways because the ex wanted to ruin it and things got bad and nothing went as planned
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你...
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How did your ex ruin things for you? After you cheated on her and left her as a single mom with a baby?
@@melissam6037 the relationship wasn't working out ... I wanted better for myself and my kid
So doesn't all relationships start out as limerence? What's the difference between limerence and truly falling in love with someone?
I just realized this was exactly what I felt with my abusive ex
I wanted to move on so badly from him…and even described my emotions for him to my therapists as feeling like I was hooked on a drug. Like when it was good it felt so good, but the come downs (when I decided to walk away- we were always on and off) were so painful besides feeling them mentally I would even feel physically ill, it felt like my heart and soul were being ripped out. Until one day I hit my lowest low and no matter how much it hurt I refused to go back, I kept telling myself it was like detoxing from an addiction, it would feel terrible for a while but it would pass
Luckily it did
I’ve always been confused why I felt this way, now it all makes sense
It was a constant “ecstasy/agony” situation
Also the only good thing was our intimacy (it was the only time we didn’t argue) but you are also right in that fear intensifies passion
It wasn’t worth it at all….I am now married to a wonderful man but because of my ex I have some really big intimacy issues. My brain has associated love with pain and my sex drive is almost non existent and that’s because even just a friendly touch causes me to wince or pull away. I wish I had heard about this earlier it would have made so many things make sense
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你...
My Ex wife has been involved in a relationship with her 1st boyfriend for the past 17 years. initially they started off in limerence which lasted for 5 years.. and ended when he would not leave his wife for her. but because of the emotional attachment of being her "first Love" the remained in contact. we were married for 6+ years. After our divorce i found out that she began another limerent relationship with the same boyfriend approx. 6 months before she asked for the divorce. and is currently still maintaining the limerent attraction. Is this an "out layer" or a different phenomena. She does suffer with other "Personality disorder" is this a contributing factor. I have had no contact with her in any form from the day she aske for the divorce (4nths) but she is beginning to show interest in me and my whereabouts. Should i be worried??
Benim eşimde 20 yıl önce aşık olduğu ama başkası ile evlendiği için yıkıldığı kadına bir alışveriş sebebiyle iletisime geçip (kadın bankaci) yeniden limerent şeklinde aşık oldu, onun evlendiği günü konuşurken ağlayacak gibi oluyor, bu durumda bu limerence ömür boyu mu sürdü, daha sürecek mi? İki çocuğumuz var o bunu sadece ufak bir romantik macera gibi yaptı ama yakalandı boşanmayi hiç istemiyor zaten kadinda evli boşanmaya niyeti yok, ama olan bana oldu bu bilgiyle yaşamak çok zor
My wife and I are in process of getting a divorce. She has been in an relationship with LO who lives in PR and she lives in Florida. She says she loves me but has no emotional connection with me anymore. She has seen LO on two occasions but mostly their relationship is over phone. She says she would love to be with me like the old days but she says it’s to late for us. We have been married for 25 years and she is willing to walk away from our relationship. What should I do?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你...
Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝🤜
I just found out my husband has been having an affair for a few months and wants me to move out of of my house so she can move in. They’ve only been with eachother for a few months.. she is also married. Imagine in this phase them both thinking they could easily walk out of their marriage and they could build a new marriage on lies and mistrust.
I’m taking care of myself while my husband is in this phase, very important. Stay calm and let your walk away spouse come to you when they are ready to talk about when they ended their relationship with the Lo
My husband also threatened to file for divorce but he hasn’t. I told my husband I wouldn’t help him divorce me this quick
Hey Stephanie E! It sounds like something that could be very helpful to you would be our SMART Contact Toolkit. This will teach you exactly what to do to start rebuilding healthy communication with your spouse! It is especially helpful when going through a crisis such as this! We highly recommend you consider checking it out here: bit.ly/3BkXVpW
We truly hope it helps you.
@@MarriageHelper po😅😅
I'm very sorry for your pain! I noticed it's been a year and am dealing with this now, how are things now?
@@palmerphil0901 he is still with the woman he cheated on me with but I divorced him. I deserve a lot better then how he treated me
So my gf of 10 year suddenly left me after talking to some other guy for 2weeks prior to that she was very faithful in every aspect so she left me me moved in with the guy and left everything we built behind said something in her died for me and cut everyone off except her mom would you consider this limmerence?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你...
Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝🤜
Hi Joe I'm currently going through a divorce with my wife, and I still love my wife but she feels that our marriage has no chance or is unfixable and in that process me trying to win her back I've actually pushed her away. I don't know what to do.
Hey @tumelomohale1793, we are so sorry to hear you are going through this. Unfortunately, what you have described is very common to what we see and deal with on a regular basis with the couples we work with. Because of situations like yours, we actually created a course designed to help you save your marriage! It's the Save My Marriage Course Membership! It's 12 in-depth video lessons designed to teach you exactly what to do to save your marriage. You also get the included workbook, a private online support group, discounts on coaching packages, and even private live support calls and trainings with Dr. Joe Beam and Kimberly Holmes!
If you're about to give up, please consider getting this membership first! Find out more here:
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I agree with this strongly but also feel this is being portrayed as every affair is in fact limerence and it is the marriage that isn't. I believe people can wrongly marry and when an affair occurs, albeit this is wrong, who's to say that the affair is much more than limerence and it is the real deal?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..
十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你..
Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝
Why would you be so bone-headed as to tell your spouse "I'm in love with someone besides you?" Well, people who have swallowed the contemporary conventional wisdom that marriage should be "passionate" and that we should follow our hearts.
"Falling in love" used to be understood as a mental illness. It should be so understood again. I like how one commentator put it: in order for real love to prevail, romantic love has to die.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你...
Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝🤜
I want romance in my true love !
@@erwinbrubacker7488 We all want a lot of things that are impractical or impossible.
Is it still Limerence if the affair has been ongoing for 2 1/2 years? They still work together. She is a direct report to my husband who is CEO.
They keep it secret.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你...
Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝🤜
And of course before I knew of Push - of course that’s what I did. 🤔
What if my husbands denies affair and he just using his church friends as an ecuse in leavingbhis family. Is this also limerance?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你...
Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝🤜
Can this happen with an old romance from over 40 years ago?
Hey Tonganoxie Split Apiary, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
Aynı durumdayım esimle merak ediyorum nedir durumunuz
I get a lot of limerence. It's like catching a cold for me.
@@carlranns6658 LOL Out of Limerence?
@@BillCollins0707 Out of limerence right now, but it's never far away
Me too. I hate it.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..
十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你..
The fuzzy wuzzies is the most addictive drug on the planet.
So a man (married ) that goes after over and over again the same woman ( his mistress ) even though they know perfectly well that isn’t going to work and every time this sort of relationship doesn’t last more then a year and it ends badly but then for some quite strange reason it seems like you don’t remember that the relationship doesn’t work and you do it over and over and over again … what is it ? An addiction? Stupidity…a form of personality disorder….? I’m asking for a friend 😂
It's Limerence
The spouse in an affair is dealing with affair fog, so, they are not thinking clearly or rationally.
So what are the chances the limerant decides to go back to their spouse when this limerance is over?
Very high! But only if you do the work. You must practice SMART Contact. Work on becoming the best you can be physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually! And stop PUSH behaviors. Stop doing the things that push your spouse away. Because people don't leave what they have unless they believe what they're going to is better. When you become the "better option", it increases the likelihood of your spouse returning to you instead of someone or something else. Hope this helps! Don't forget to subscribe to our channel by the way Ron! And feel free to reach out if we can be of more support for you during this time! 1 866 903 0990
Ron Jones, The first thing we try to teach people is how to have healthy communication with their spouse to avoid making the situation any worse. One of the main tips is to stop PUSH Behaviors. This is anything you do (or don't do) that tends to push your spouse away from you. We teach you 4 other rules you need to follow to help with this situation in our free e-book! You can download it here if interested!
Free Ebook here:
bit.ly/3BSuzRo
We hope this helps!
Je vous garantir devant le tout tout puissant je ne peut pas vivre avec des personnes toxiques dans ma vie oui
8:15 explained brain effect
Are all affairs limberAnce
No. There are affairs that are just about sex. I think that the other kinds, whether emotional or sexual, if they have emotions involved or if it started with or eventually went to the sharing of emotions and feelings, it’s probably limerence. Or limerence is probably involved.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你...
Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝🤜