The Key to Helping Your Alcoholic Spouse Understand Your Perspective
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- čas přidán 21. 02. 2024
- Being in a relationship with someone who has an addiction to drugs or alcohol feels very lonely. All of your partner's time and energy goes to their addiction, and other people judge you. Some people blame you for the problem, and others can't understand why you stay in a relationship with an addict. It's a very isolating way of life. How can you communicate to your addicted loved one that they're not only destroying their life but yours too?
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Amber, i love your perspectives and delivery. So glad to have found your channel.
Thank you so much! 😁😁😁😁
I always feel so much better when watching your videos!
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I am listening close as they never remember how bad they hurt us when blacked out. Also, when sober they dont want to talk about it. Always and excuse because of GUILT. It always sound like we just hold it in when I listen. What am I missing. They address it. Its about how to get help when we dont have 90k. AA did not work at all. Many months and the magic did not happen and I am not forcing it. We tried.
Love, love, love these videos
Awwww, thanks so much, Donna!
I am over 3 years sober and have shown him how sobriety can change your life! He broke his neck june 14 last year and was drunk driving. I really was hoping that would be his bottom but now he's drinking again 😢
I can't live in this hell anymore. I love him but now I have to love myself more! It's so painful and yes I'm seeing Counselors and have a call in to a marriage counselor for myself. To show me what a marriage should look like. Thank you for your videos. There really helping me with so much insight!❤
Everything you say an addict will do to their spouse is exactly all the things my Emily does to me!
😂 My first reaction when I saw this question was, “You don’t “.
Can we talk about sex? When my AH is drunk, he is a different person to the point that I am repulsed. Also he gets antagonistic and.verbally hurtful. There will e a tipping point where I lose it and there is a big fight. (I’m working on my side of that.). So. Of course I do t want the vulnerability of sex. I already have low libido from menopause. The dilemma is, since sex/flirting etc. is a big dopamine hit, I have to do it anyway to “compete with the addiction,” as you say. It feels like another sacrifice of myself to accommodate his addiction . He knows how I feel, which makes him ultimately more likely to drink. I hope I am explaining this. I assume it’s a widespread problem. The breaking of trust is a libido killer too, woven all through.
I literally just recorded a video on that exact topic. It will be out sometime in March!
Looking forward to it!!
@@PutTheShovelDown
I couldn't fake it without causing myself trauma - very curious about the video coming out in March 🧐
What’s the title of the video?
Living this currently! Have had it!!
Amber, you are such a blessing
Right back at ya, Diana!
This is invaluable advice. Thank you.
You're so welcome!
👐🏽🙌🏽👐🏽 thank you Amber!
My pleasure!
🤚 , I appreciate the content, you know I’ll always , ,,,take your advice 👍
Thank you for everything. I never see anything about people using inhalants. My daughter seems to have cut out everything else. However when she does relapse she goes for “duster sprays” inhalants that can instantly kill her.
I never see info about this.
I know I can’t control it. It seems like you have to plan it, go to a store buy it, drive then hide it and consume it. I would rather her smoke weed than doing something that could kill her. I’ve lost a child to overdose and I’m just beside myself. Even though she’s so much better, if she relapsed and does this once it can kill her and I’m falling apart every time petrified I’m gonna lose another child
Amber, I like the darkened background
Geeee thx 😀
Hi Amber I have listened to most if not all of your videos. I appreciate them as well as what you are doing. My AH is not a talker so listening for change talk is very challenging . I see slight change in action. How do I approach this
I feel like any influence I might have had is gone now. A few years ago he got enmeshed with a CZcams group with a lot of heavy drinkers. He feels accepted by them and not judged. They get on live streams and he drinks until he passes out. They just tease him and give him s#%t. The amount of drinking and times drunk just increased. He’s become someone I don’t even recognize. Don’t see how he’ll ever make the decision to stop because it would probably mean he’d have to distance from this group that he sees as a second family.
I have had to walk away because I don’t want to be around him drunk and most days he’s drunk. No real consequences other than the failure of our relationship and I’m sure he knows it’s part his problem but also mine because I don’t accept him as-is. Very similar to Jennifer’s question. He admits it but doesn’t want to address it. Very sad, because I can’t see a path forward if he keeps drinking like this. Wish I knew what would make him see there’s life without alcohol.
I wonder if this is why my ex started getting weird with me...he drinks a lot and suddenly one day he just started acting like we were so different. He has a computer but he never once has gotten on it when I was there. And then he just decided that he didn't need me anymore because I wouldn't be ok with the disrespectful ways that he treated me.
What if the addict asks you how you are feeling or doing? Do you tell them the straight truth like “I’m exhausted and anxious “. Or is it better to just say “I’m ok” to avoid the added feeling of more guilt and shame for the loved one dealing with addiction “
I'm not sure I have enough strength felt to do this😢
Lived with alcoholic 24yrs. Remarried and now learned he’s alcoholic- not verbally nor physically abusive - However still alcoholic and still some same behaviors.. Feeling stupid, down, discouraged, you fool - Struggling..
Does anyone apply to the comments in this section or only live?
Amber we don't tell people what to do.... Because we don't charge but you do! #firstamendmentrights!
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What can be done if someone is bipolar and binge drinks when hypomanic but they want to stay hypomanic?
They need to address the bipolar, only guessing, but if it's similar to my experience, they r drinking to self medicate. ❤
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Is there new research on hitting the bottom for addicts and recovery?
Hi Kathy, here's a video on that topic: czcams.com/video/1Bsf4ZprOnA/video.html
@@PutTheShovelDown thanks so much
One alky talking to another
Sorry to steal your last podcast. I honestly wanna stop drinking.
I didn't expect so many people would care so much about me to stop drinking. Yes I've watched many of your videos as you said. I didn't find the one about stop drinking.
The 12 steps are hard, but if you do it honestly. You can stop.
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