Gatekeeper Talks About the Persecutors | Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)
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- čas přidán 16. 05. 2022
- Hello.
Extra tags:
DID
Dissociative Identity Disorder
OSDD1B
OSDD
PTSD
CPTSD
C-PTSD
C PTSD
Post traumatic stress disorder
complex post traumatic stress disorder
L Arthur
Mage Sytem
MAGE
Alena
Gatekeeper talks about the persecutors
I can feel the sad/anixity from seeing the video.
Thank you for sharing, even when it's about those dark thoughts. I was especially sensitive when you talked about the nihilism inside of the body, how unaware everyone was of the horrors that humanity did and how it became a sort of " if they are not aware, they are npcs". Well, that's how I understood it.
Just like bugs, you don't feel that you exist to them because they don't see all of the pain inside of you. They just pass by, mosquitoes take your blood and we don't see each other ever again.
For me, it was a surrounding that never listened/made it hard to be heard, which made it difficult to express myself and then not feeling like I was heard because I couldn't say what I needed to say. Unable to reach someone else, it feels as if I'm all alone and that nothing is real. I'm working on this and I wish you well on your recovery!
Yes, that’s a good way to explain it. - Alena
Thankyou for talking about this. you are brave and well spoken and i appreciate hearing about your process. I had similar harming experiences when i was young and long before i knew that i had DID. When i realized i did i noticed a very sort of black and white world that was created in my alters. But as i got to know them, talk to them and understand each of their burdens, that very stark Angry Girl, Pleasing Girl split with so many of them softened. There was so much more to all of us.
Yes, within each alter is a complex calculated, whether conscious or not, thought process fueling the behavior in efforts to cope with perceived threats. They present as archetypes, as everyone does to some degree, but alters after more so. They often believe they must occupy a recognizable box of presentation to be safe. When the box is open, we observe a more complex mechanism.
- Alena
@@magesystem Well said, i'm going to be soaking this in for a while. I had an interesting experience yesterday. i have been pondering something i've really not been able to solve, and not anyone to talk to about it. my husband, until yesterday is the only person that knows about 'US' Obviously you do, and people that read these comments. I changed my legal name when i was 40. and i began useful therapy after that being able to separate from my family . Last year alot of event s happened to rock our boat and it occured to me that our Legal name person-has stepped back and it seems now she may not chose to return up front. I asked my 'people' and it was okay to talk to an old friend of my husband, a woman named Bee -She came to visit and we had about 5 hours to visit. I told her about the DID and that with my doctor gone we can only just check in and do the best we can. and it's okay, but we are getting puzzled what to do about the name thing. If she never comes back up- should we choose a name of who it mostly up front. The concern is not 'legally' changing the name -but in respect not to keep 'disturbing the one who's sleeping or dormant' I mentioned you and another person who i know regard 'respect ' for their system. Bee didn't give me an answer of course - but understood and we both had this open door of conversation and safety with each other-which to be honest i have not had with anyone for a long time. The result after ward was to learn that one of the main persons that has fronted so long - said that she acts as a gatekeeper - and filter of information ; and she protects the littles, and another one came forward that i've been try to communicate with. I guess i wanted to express appreciation here -and if you have thoughts on this I most welcome that. But also to illustrate that careful sharing can result in more system trust -because of that stress of Our Secret world thing.
@@magesystem p.s didn't put the strikeout in my comment on purpose, my keyboard is acting funny. might be the cat.
The prediter demon person sounds like furoke from the legion show,
but something else thats a bad guy from another phycoligy tv show,he/they do the same stuff but his own way,
but the emotion is why hes scary.
He copys furoke.
But theres just the black mist cloud and lighting and screams and crying and you just feel him and he doesnt do anything,
the cloud and videos in the black lighting cloud are why hes bad,he doesnt even have to do anything=feeling.
I have just discovered possibility of having DID. And im terrified to let my sun alter and sometimes johnny front. Johnnys not really as bad as moon hes just aggressive but moon likes to take it out on me. Johnny had onkt ever fronted when he felt the need to, or if there was ever a situation that would cause for him to. Moon tries to front a lot causing it to upset sun in the system. Dylan as far as i know i dont know his role he hasnt front in a while but im aware hes there. I'm sure i have a head count of more. Ive had experinces like this as a teen with sh and i still struggle with the ideology of it. Moon takes a toll on me whenever he fronts leaving me drained. Often tends to front at night or early hours in the morning. Or if my body clock feels messaed up at any point. Moon is an alter that deals with ocd and sleep deprivation.
Thank you for the insight into a part of DID that isn't shown very often. The inner conflict with persecutors must be very hard. How do you cope with a part of yourself that does harm without locking them up? I'm glad that you managed to recognize what you were doing yourself so that you could reform/adjust and that therapy helped you to integrate the others. Especially the latter sounds really hard and I wonder how you could manage that. Are you lucky to have a good therapist?
Thank you. It is tricky and I don’t have a solid answer to that. I think it is best to take alters like these, and with the guidance of a therapist as a safety net, create a safe room. Invite yourself and that alter, and whoever else you feel should be present. The room should be isolated and safe. It’s wise to have a protective figure, but it an alter, or some imagined archetype. There you can apply whatever modalities you and your therapist decide. This is what we did.
We were lucky after numerous tries to find a therapist who was not terrible. She helped us a lot. As of the past month, we have quit therapy. As bad if an idea as that sounds, we have plateaued in mental health and don’t feel it is time to open the box again unless something comes up. We are pretty high functioning as of now.
- Alena
Thankyou for coming forward and talking about this. it's really hard sometimes to sort things. I just found out that one that i thought was a caretaker is actually a gatekeeper and she can get really angry. Any perceived threat from the outer world , big or small -the reaction is the same She will actually yell until our throat bleeds. Now that i've figured out what she is doing and therefore what she needs it will be a bit easier. But it's been a turbulent couple of years - we were betrayed badly and out she came. Once someone comes forward and i get to know them i encourage them to stay to the front with the host and anyone else and figure out other ways to use the energy
I dont trust people too.
Im like her.
@@soccerandtrack10 hi, if you were answering to my post - i just found out yesterday i have a 'twin' to that gatekeeper ; a male; and don't mess with him , he'll do anything to protect the 'girls' I had forgotten to ask that the person fronting permit the host to come back up forward; what a wild year it's been. Take good care of yourselves
Hello Elena,
thank you for all the experiences you share.
Up from the point, I hear about persecutors I wonder, how they would behave and look. In my childhood, I was so scared of a member, and how she advised me to handle bullying. Today we both know, that every one of us was wrong and together we were right, but for this time, we were fighting against each other all the time and doing so much passive influence on each other. For this time, I would call her a persecutor with horrible attributes and she is a predator with a really straightforward point of view and a strong will. Today I would call myself a persecutor. Our intention has to be to create safety and stability and I have messed it up completely. It is the opposite, I drive us into chaos, pleasing people and chasing hidden treasures. I have allowed people to treat us this way. The member, I was fighting against all the time would have solved it in a simple way "Oh, you want pain, all right, I got something for you!" All I found in these treasure chests were knowledge, which brought me anger. Now I am incredibly angry about what people do to people. The point of view Mr. Destruction has is something I have to negate for myself, otherwise, I have to accept this world to be worthless.
For me, it is not obvious, who is a persecutor and who is not.
You say, Mr. Destruction has never spoken. The mentioned member tends not to speak. She has to borrow a voice when she wants to speak.
A member of a friended system speaks not, too. Nowadays, he starts to have smaller conversations. Really acrimonious, I like it. He is not really nice to the body of the system and there are some parallels to the mister.
Why is it? Why are there members, who are not able to speak in the common way, and is it an accident, that they are very emotional and aggressive characters? Have you any ideas?
This topic is very interesting to me. That is the cause for the private information as a reference.
- Fan
I suppose I don’t think it’s entirely straightforward what a persecutor is. You would have to define harmful behavior. That is not always clear, especially as a trauma survivor where one’s view of what harm and what correct reactions are is distorted.
I believe Mr. Self Destruct did not speak because he wanted to invoke fear within us. You can invoke fear within someone by yelling, but silence can be more terrifying than that.
- Alena
I was looking for a testimony from a gatekeeper so this video is really important x3
You should write poetry. Your voice and the words you use are so delicious.
we used to have a prison , there was a prosecutor who was just so mean, he still is , but that prison was horrible i hated it . i was never in it . but i saw the pain he was in , it hurt to see that , we ended up putting him on the farm where the prosecutors stay , its very nice , we have a gatekeeper there hes sweet , i love our system even tho it can suck
I got dissy from saying turned into teeth then into teeth in a box/like a divik box.
i get dissy from emotional movie plot twist stuff now.
How do you change from dissoseation to angry?,
i dont feel normal when not angry,im the hyper not the hypo.
I feel weird for the hypo thing.
This video is dark/like where i live.
I didnt see a d.i.d. video be equal to where i live.
Nastromo.
Warhamer 40,000.
/30,000,
my family is like the planet.
i think nihilizm is interesting ( not good but interesting ) view on world and morality and rethinking what is moral and wht not is interesting expierience for example ( "w obronie" which means" in guard ") series of discord discussion where me and my friends try to find positives to bad things and negatives to good things and it getted to weird conclusions sometimes and there is no one universal morality it depends from religion, tradition, culture, life experience, and other things . for example morality of muslim countries like Iran or Yemen to not speak about Talibs is very diffrent from our western world morality but is it worse or bad morality i dont know ( we would say yes but they will say the same about ours )
Legion is litterly legion,hes 1 legion of people.
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