If You HEAR THIS, That's Gaslighting! - Sneaky Mind Games Narcissists Use To TRAP YOU | Dr. Ramani
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- čas přidán 20. 05. 2024
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If you’re dealing with a narcissist, this episode is PACKED with truthbombs that you NEED to hear so you can change the way you interact with a narcissist FOREVER.
Today my girl Dr. Ramani is pulling the curtain back and exposing the mind games that narcissists play ON THE DAILY to make you doubt yourself and even question your own frikin’ sanity.
Dr. Ramani is no stranger to Women of Impact. As a licensed clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships, Dr. Ramani digs deep into the BEHAVIORAL PATTERNS that narcissists use every single day to manipulate the hell out of you and keep you sucked into the relationship. PRE-ORDER Dr. Ramani's new book here: a.co/d/7qYmF0f
In this episode, we’re diving into:
Why narcissists will NEVER CHANGE, EVEN IF you leave them!
What narcissists will do to look good in the world, so that NO ONE ELSE sees how they play on your fears and steal your sense of self.
Why it’s SOOO easy to be in denial and accept domination, gaslighting, and indoctrination as your “new normal”.
And why ANYONE is vulnerable to a narcissist’s mind games because you can’t always see them coming…
So whether you’re in a romantic relationship with a narcissist, or maybe you suspect a family member or friend is, this episode is here to help you spot the toxic behavior patterns so you can heal from the abuse and put the pieces back together.
Chapter Markers:
🧠 [00:00] How to Recognize the Mind Games
🥖 [09:38] Breadcrumbing and Trauma Bonding
👸 [15:37] A Fantasy of Being Chosen
❌ [29:38] Minimizing Your Wants and Needs
😖 [37:59] How to Spot Domination Patterns
🔄 [52:29] The Narcissistic Relationship Cycle & When It Breaks Down
📝 [01:00:54] Understand & Make a Plan
👉 [1:11:05] Bonus Episode: Dr. Nicole LePera
***Bonus Episode: Get Control of Your Emotions with Dr. Nicole LePera***
Keep watching for a BONUS conversation with my homie Dr. Nicole LePera, who is breaking down the connection between the triggers we experience now as adults and our childhood traumas, and how you can use your heart to heal your past trauma.
DR. RAMANI’S NARCISSISTIC TRUTH BOMBS:
"Victims of narcissistic abuse often gaslight themselves, ignoring red flags."
"The narcissistic person has to be in the power position and the other person has to be diminished."
"Stealing someone's sense of self to me, that's a betrayal."
"They're not conscious of all of these processes, but they do know what they're doing is often wrong."
"They use the threat of abandonment...especially if abandonment is your thing."
"Silent treatment is the ultimate form of domination."
"In a narcissistic relationship, these things pile up, hundreds and thousands of them. It almost becomes your new normal."
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Website: doctor-ramani.com/
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Website: www.radicalconfidence.com/
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Website: theholisticpsychologist.com/
CZcams: / @theholisticpsychologist
Instagram: / the.holistic.psychologist - Zábava
My Grandma used to call them "Street Angels and house devils" such a good description .😢
Your grandma understood them to a T
Jezebel spirit
Your grandfather was so right I lived with someone like that for 40 years , what a nightmare
Sorry I meant to say grandmother , but I bet was a wise man also he married your grandmother you were blessed
Yes I had to do that with my ex no contact after years of abuse I could not take it anymore. It was very toxic relationship I'm so happy to be through it
Just kicked a narc to the curb after 6 months of dating.
You did the right thing! Because once you buy a home with them and have kids with them, you're pretty much trapped.
Indeed u have been spared. What's worse are the narc enablers.
Good for you !!!
Dodged a bullet!
And you were right in the danger zone.
6 months with a narcissist is like 2 yrs
@@annjohnson8437NEVER trapped.
I watched my dad in the icu in chemical coma while in narc marriage. A number of things happened..
Being that I had zero support in that and was falling apart watching him and my mom..I turned and leaned to God completely.
My husband became even needier because I was needed with them. Started fights, demanding etc.
it put a spotlight on who he really was.
When I saw my father fight for every, single breath, every little movement and in the other hand my husband curse God for waking up in the morning, eye opener.
Again - prayed thru everything..gave it to God. Started fights “gotta go heading to hospital” and hung up and said “God I need you to take this”
When I flew home after 2 months of my dad in hospital I had hell to pay.
I prayed the whole way.
The FIRST NIGHT I was home I got up in the middle of the night to go the bathroom and he had been drinking.
Said he was going to destroy me with black eyes and wicked face, I felt protected and kept walking. Freaky!!!
I walked out of the bathroom & he was totally different and said he wanted a divorce for his birthday. Which was 2 weeks away.
I shut the door, packed his stuff in the morning while he slept not knowing if he was going to freak out or what was going to happen. He cowered and left. THAT WAS GOD.
I moved home 2 months later but for over a decade I was stuck in another country with everyone telling me to make it work not knowing what I was going thru. It is possible.
If God makes the sun rise and set he can pick up a piece of stardust with HIS name on it and move you.
You are HIS - and meant for better things. Take your power. We have power to tread on demons and this is demonic. Be smart, do not show your cards, move kids and pets first -
Leave what you don’t need and go.
These narcs are demons I'm convinced, their type of behavior can't be human, the mind games is just sinister.
They are definitely children of the devil. The trauma with them is deadly. Thanks be to God to hear the cry of the afflicted and delivers you from the hands of the oppressors 🙌🏾
Absolutely!! 💯 demonic
Yep you're spot on. They carry the Jezabel spirit. I've found 3 brilliant talks by 3 different pastors explaining the Narcissism and the Jezabel spirit!! In my last relationship that I was being abused by a covert Narcissist and I was suicidal twice!! I also had a relapse of adrenal fatigue from the prolonged stress of the abuse! 😳 I gave my life to Christ and the boyfriend lost the plot because I didn't consult him first. 🥴 It all became really clear I was being Narcissistically abused and so being born again essentially saved my life twice!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼 2 mths no contact now and healing! In the words of HG Tudor "Get out stay out!" 🙌🏼
I'm so happy for you! I wouldn't have survived this far if it weren't for Jesus.
Are you able to share the 3 sermons if they're online? It would really help me greatly :)
I agree. We don't wrestle against flesh and blood
My narcissistic ex's games drove me crazy, I caught on eventually and I began to mirror them. It became a very toxic power struggle. I felt heart palpitations, high blood preassure and began to question whether I was the narcissist in this relationship. My mind was consumed with shame, guilt and confusion.
Going no contact was complete bliss.
The funny thing is we can be just as toxic as them but not be the perpetrator. They constantly try to trigger us to get a reaction just so they can manifest that we are indeed, the bad guys, and they are the innocent victims. They can hold our toxic reactions against us. We become who we really aren't. Whether you fight them, ignore them, or even attempt to communicate effectively like a therapist says we should. None of it works and it drives us absolutely insane and they know this.
I used to say, I wasted my whole life with three different types of narcissistic men, And it actually still plays into my life because I have three children and I came from a very to family but I am so great fall to have my sanity. Wow it’s like I just woke up.!!! from a life of being drama bonded much love to you all❤
Sometimes my marc husband makes me feel like I'm the narc and I start self doubting myself. 😢
@@gailgamble6558 the selfintrospection and doubt and analyzing yourself is a good indicator your not
take responsibility for your emotions. no one MAKES u feel things.
when your person or sitiation is X
u feel Y
things may cause or catalyze emotions but they are products of your unniqe expierence and perception.
@@gailgamble6558 That's their most cruel trick -- convincing you to wonder about yourself. This is the way my therapist explained it to me -- If you wonder if you're a narcissist, then you are definitely not. A true narcissist would never think that they are or wonder if they are.
Your not allowed to have feelings, or be hurt, in pain from an injury. They have no boundaries!
They have no moral compass. And I don't just mean no moral compass in being faithful in a relationship I mean no moral compass all the way around.
So true my husband physically abused me and next day he was like get over it b all smiley and funny let's have sex.. I was like what is wrong with you 😢??!??
@MM-ql5ji I hope you don't have to live with that any more. You deserve better.
:(
Agree Julia.
Narcissist don't worry about consequences because they think they're to smart to get caught
100% my friend! So much so, my ex used to say that if somehow he was on a plane that fell down and no one else made it, he knew he would survive. Talk about delusion! 😂
Narcs love BPDs because the Bliner has so much empathy to give because of the fear of abandonment. Obviously the Narc will greatly abuse all of it. They spar spar and spar…until the BPD splits. When they split there will be no empathy left and the Narc will face injuries they wouldn’t have seen coming. A BPD can DESTROY a narc with a John Wick type of focus.
*too smart
They are wrong! They are not above the law!
@@TropicalRedFloweris not everybodysaying that everybody is a narcist?
He kept telling me..."you can't beat me". Well, idk we were playing a game. Once I realized we were, I did win. I left and never looked back!
❤❤❤
Mine told me I was the enemy.
He'd say to me he wants to fight
He'd say stand up and fight me. He is 6ft 90kg man and I was 5'5 62kg woman with a baby on her hip 😥
They always try to one up you in weird ways
@@fesalatijannati5677 sick much? 😱🙄😭
I think they feed on craziness.
When they make you crazy, seems like they laugh on the inside.
Been there.
It’s because it reinforces that sense of control they get. But being the “calm” one, they look good and your reaction makes them feel validated
It’s partly a control thing, partly a sadism thing ie it’s just fun to watch you suffer
My nex laughed outside
That's so true. They hate anything to be stable and normal, and wanna destroy peace!
They laugh on the outside.
23:45 they lie about things they don’t need to lie about. The dumbest stuff sometimes
YES!!!
Sounds like my mother
Right?! I had an ex lie about being at her grandpa's viewing. Found out he didn't even die and that she was a SHOE without the S
Everyday, and I’m one that don’t CARE 🤷🏽♀️ I don’t ask and don’t respond simple
I used to “almost” joke that mine, had he ever picked up a dime off the ground and I asked what he found, he’d tell me “a penny”.
I just left a psychopath, gaslighting Narcissist a few weeks ago and will never look back ❤✝️
is not everybody talk like this about theyre ex? did not all philosophs say: you are with these people together that are like u?
Good for you hope you found better praise God.
@@DerKnusperhaseThe person who chose that narcissist has to take accountability and responsibility for the choice that they made because they didn't have to choose that man or woman they got gaslighted or future faked into the relationship.😂
God bless you and keep you ❤ 🙏
@@ciaraskeleton Your better off
Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims. NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's. However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you. They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!! Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narcissist; send a request to: MetaspyHub@gmail. com
BEST COMMENT EVER.
Wow spot on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep. Sounds like my abusive stepdad lol hopefully I can unlearn these toxic behaviors..
On point 😊♥️🤗
Spot on and yet I still have a hard time accepting after all the “deep connection” as it felt.. was bs and all the future faking up till the very end.. all the false promises. I still feel so deeply for this person and part of me wants to show her the beauty I saw inside her. But the other part of me knows there’s absolutely no point. She doesn’t reciprocate anything nor does she try to actually work through ANYTHING she said everything she knew I wanted to hear and when I wasn’t useful to her and she built up enough resentment of me in her head she ran my heart over a couple times and left. Went from “you’re my person” “I know we’re meant to be together” “I need to work on myself so we can be healthy” *in a note when she left* to leaving and not speaking to me or being very mean when she does. It hurts like hell cause I convinced myself she was the one and anything can be worked through.
Zombying is an example of the narcissist loving you the most when you have one foot out the door. So you think it’s dead, but then they sense you are about to leave and they fear losing control, so they pour on the charm again.
Wow. Never heard this term Sounds pretty familiar 😢
that explains why the narc is genuinely caring toward that one friend. She is always on the go unpredictable. She is not going to stick around if he is acting up so he has to wait for her to make the time she will not stay if he starts being negative.
Hmm they are trainable if you get them raped around your finger you must never show full emotion to them keep them guessing. Never date be serious cause you know one foot must stay out the door. Likely only to work if your attractive have others that admire trying to get close with you. they need to be in competing mode for you to be charming and never love them back that flips the charm off turning them to hate to resent you
Yes!!
@@bunnyboo6295all that work for what it’s a hamster wheel they never change what a miserable life to live because that’s not authentic
Even when he doesn’t live in the same home and has a new supply he can still sense I’m pulling away and guess who starts to text me and try to relish a “friendship”
Stress will kill you!
Yes that damn cortisol overload
Ex used to say he was able to send me in psych ward
These f can give you : immunodepressive disorders
Tumors
Fibromyalgia
CPSTD
and STDs for sure
Yes,I've had a stroke & heart attack and been in relationship for 15 years,he has shown very little concern
The stress has worn me down
@yolondagoode9656 I feel you! We can't fix them. We can only work on ourselves. Try to get out in nature, and ground for at least 15 minutes a day. Hopefully it's warm by you so you can take your shoes off, and connect to the earth.
@@melodyvovan9205 CPTSD!
What the heck he told you he can put you in the psych ward and you stayed after?
I have been married to my narcissistic husband for 8 years and I had an ectopic pregnancy and had to be in the hospital for 4 or 5 days to take care of it because it was life threatening. My husband was more worried about his job than the emergency I was facing. I’m making my way out of this toxic no love relationship asap 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Dire medical conditions will open your eyes. Do get out, because it gets worse and worse. Kudos to you for putting a finger on the toxicity before the children. ❤
Be blessed I am praying for you.
They can’t be bothered to help anyone. It’s beneath them
Good for you, you deserve better!
This just triggered the memory of me being pregnant and suffering from a severely infected gallbladder, I was passing out not eating at the end of my pregnancy then when our baby was 4 months old I got the call to get it removed. My ex raged at me for having to take time off work to help with our 2 girls and our baby. I developed pneumonia days after surgery and had to care for 3 kids while healing from being burned on my insides due to the surgeon accidentally cutting an artery during surgery. Looking back on it I feel sick I stayed for so long.
The more i watch these videos the more i realise there are alot of unwell people in society.😢
I feel the same!!!
They belong in hell. Psychopathic gaslighting demon narcissists. I almost died👹👹
Evil sick people
Which is quite scary 😱
Our society is unfortunately set up to create this sickness.
You can read The Theory of the Leisure Class by Thorstein Veblen, which describes how we got here.
Many sources have studied American culture and have said that it isn't healthy.
Lord, 🙏🏾please give me the courage and the grace to walk away from what’s slowly killing me. Thank you Dr. Ramani! ❤
You can do this. It took me 20 years. Please don’t let it steal so many years of your life.
I didn't think I could ever rid myself of him but I did. All the crying, anxiety and depression I experienced, I finally had enough. I needed much support and I watched alot of videos on narcissism. It saved me. I've been no contact for a long time and it feels amazing. Know your worth, keep your dignity and finally realize that you're the better one. You can do this. It's painful at times but I promise you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. ❤
@ilspeth99 it was 24years for me so sorry
@@conickasparks3746 I came to the conclusion recently that those 20 years with him were absolutely wasted, and that it's OK to acknowledge it. It doesn't mean 20 years of my life were wasted. Just the relationship with him was a total waste. I didn't need to learn some higher lesson about how terrible a person can be. I didn't need to grow through surviving abuse. I think it's terrible to tell a person that they need to look for the lesson or learn from the experience. Nonsense. Sometimes, terrible things happen to people who didn't ask for it. So I just picked up and moved on.
God please help me too! God be with you!
I met a narc with a black belt in jujitsu who told me I was the abuser after he assaulted me so I turned his manipulative texts over to his boss and they fired him 🔥
Mine actually said, “I’m not interested in you,…as a person.” Brutal. But my discard was the best gift he ever gave me.
Wow ouch 😫 The discard came as a blessing, is how I see it💚 ☀
same here i was told there are better people out there than me and she is not forcing me to be in a realtionship with her she said she is not interested in me as a person and that she can do better. It's there loss they never deserved you anyway no narcs deserve good people or happiness screw them all.
😢
They don’t see you as a person. Literally you are an actor in their play. They hate that you have feelings, dreams, desires. Everything is surface level
I complained to my narc dad about how he treated me wrongly, he said "Tough shit'. The jerk!
I fell off from my bike, I almost got a broken bones but instead of helping me he took the bike first and said the bike is broken.. I remember the face that has no emotions at all
Omg 😯🙏🏾
I slipped on ice and broke my knee and he told me I did it on purpose. I had to get surgery and he told me I was faking it and just wanted to lay in bed. He Narcs are delusional
I fell off my bike after I was hit from behind by my husband, broke my arm, busted my knee and he didn't want to take me to the hospital. Big argument to get him to take me to the doctor after I threatened to call an ambulance. He dropped me off and left me there then ignored me for two weeks while I couldn't even move. My friends brought me food. He is a nightmare. That was the beginning. It got worse. I finally left for good. He is still texting - trying to blame, goad, gaslight, be the victim etc. I went no contact. He is a manipulative child and I am done.
That's not love.
❤
I love that Dr. Ramani is educating the public about narcissism. Especially since modern culture not only promotes it but is actively normalizing it. For example the whole, “ I’m sorry you feel that way,” apology being initiated in movies and shows....
And by psychologists.... personal experience. At the time that's what I thought I had to say to go Gray rock. I now know, she was not a good fit for me...
I hate when the narcissist tell everyone else and themselves that you are the narcissist‼️😢
Some factions in society enable the narcs/enablers/flying monkeys. They expect the victims to put up and shut up. This is wrong! Excuses are made for the narc. This doesn't work for me, at all!
there are millions of videos about narcistic persons. because everybody is blaming anybody to be a troll / narcist.
I discarded the narc after dating for 5.5 months, my intuition kicked in, something was very wrong, I did not even know narcissistic people existed, thank you for enlightening me. I am a senior, and the narc was very good at his antics because he had at least 30 years of practicing.
You are terrific.
Thank you for your info.
So proud of you‼️❤️‼️❤️
My narc dad groomed me for his abuse, and when I complained, he told me that I am the one with the problem, not him. The jerk!
My institution also but I don't know there hidden secret
Yes, same here! I didn't know it exists! I was wondering whether I am wrong...Now I am studying narcissistic behaviour. Everything she says, matches with my ex...
Be careful of how nice the narcissist can be. The man I’m divorcing now is probably the most polite, most appropriate, most civilized person I’ve ever met.
He controlled me by convincing me that I chose his way of doings things myself.
Dad is nice in public, and cruel to me, in private. A Jekyll-Hyde character! If he does anything nice, he resents doing it. He acts entitled to waste my time and not tell me why he was late and doesn't apologize. As if it's his right(it isn't) I am 60, I don't have to be controlled by that idiot! I don't live with him(thankfully). When I complain, he is sarcastic, dismissive, demeaning, sarcastic, and talks down to me, as if he is in charge(he is not!). He thinks that because he has a beard, he looks like Jesus. Dad acts the opposite for the most part. And blames me for his abusing me. Telling me I have no right or reason to complain. Not true. He is a control freak! I am Catholic, but not trying to be sacreligious, he is! By likening himself to Jesus. Surreal!
Before this I was glowing. I’ve never met a real life narcissist to this extent. This guy ripped out my glowing energy and devoured it
Narcissists seek out the brightest shining stars to devour.
Same
He not only violated my trust and betrayed me, he took away my innocence and our kids innocence, I will look at people differently now and I will never trust anybody, it's not nice being like this, 30 years with him and he's robbed me of being a trusting, happy content person.
Same story here. Found out about the lying/cheating after he gave me an incurable STI (29-year marriage). Me and the kids can't deal with his crap anymore.
For people who lost their happy self after narcissistic abuse and feel somehow stuck: a therapist is imperative. Try to find a trauma therapist who can help you heal the narc programming. You need to be deprogrammed. It’s not you, but you can relocate your happy self and even grow into becoming an even better, stronger person along with finding back your happy self.
It might help to try to remember this is a single evil individual, it’s not you and not everyone else. Try to individuate/disengage from that single person and find back yourself.
I am si sorry to hear that. I've lost 25 years, but we have no kids. Was unsure how I felt about that until I seen videos explaining this trauma/abuse.
Now I just have to get rid of this 'what if..' mentality. The answer is I now know and must CT accordingly. Because of these outlets, I don't feel as alone as I thought I was, and either should you. I understand bit I also believe in me, and you. Let's do what needs to be done.🧡🙏🏼
@@annjohnson8437I'm so sorry. I caught my narc having an emotional affair on me. I want him to get an STD test and he told me No! I was going to give in to having sex with him but I've decided not to. Who knows where he's been. He says he goes to the racetrack on his days off . . . but he is a LIAR!!
@jadegreen1554
🥰 Your message is very reassuring and gives HOPE to us who are broken. Thank YOU and I wish you the best!! 😘😇🫂
They lie about everything. They will be extra nice at times because they are hiding things behind your back. Run for your life and stay no contact . Its exhausting smh.
Three months of the silent treatment and I didn’t feel like a real person. I wasn’t even sure that I existed.
On the same boat here
Yes, I definitely know how that feels… 7.5 weeks silent treatment, I lost a stone in weight, the atmosphere was terrible… the pleasure the ex narc husband got out of that was sickening, defo something wrong with people that can do that to someone they’re supposed to love.
I was hooked in for 14 yrs having children made it harder to leave.
I learnt not to ask for anything (not even take out the garbage or to do anything around the house) just do it myself. Now, I say if I have to do it myself I will be by myself. You are making me stronger..please just go..
They know what they're doing is wrong because they lie to cover up what they said or did and/or accuse you of being the one that did what they did. It's so insane.
Well my narcissist husband started the SILENT treatment and he didn’t know that I was RAISED by a NARCISSIST stepfather, well it’s going on over ten years and guess what I’m WINNING 🏆, my stepfather wouldn’t talk to you and ignored you and you would ask yourself what did I do , nothing they just like controlling you and as a child you learn to ignore them, I’m good with the silent treatment because I don’t like talking anyway, when I get ready to leave the house I just leave and did I mention that I go on vacations alone 😂which I throughly enjoy and I keep my BAGS packed and when the urge to go I go I’m sick and tired of him trying to control me. The buck stops HERE 😂😂
@@FaithFilled. be the light 💡 in your CANDLE 🕯 let it shine ✨ Amen 🙏🏼
You’re still with him?
@@mojadah10 only because he wants to kill me and my oldest daughter , he tried to burn 🔥 his ex girlfriend and her boyfriend up with the gas bomb 💣 and the lady pointed him out and they took him to jail, he was under house arrest for a year and they never did anything to him, and I didn’t know this until after we had been married for a while and I have been trying to figure away out without him hurting us , I’m done elderly abuse and domestic violence so he’s on record for his actions, there was a time I was afraid 😱 for me but because I trust God to keep me safe and I tell everyone what he’s doing domestic violence teaches you to speak 🗣 up and about your situation and to make sure your neighbors know and of course he hates for people to know that he is EVIL 👿, we have to pray 🙏🏼 for all people that are going through this mess
Thanks for educating people. I can't believe how classic my narcissist was he even circled back 8 years later via a mutual friends Facebook messenger. In no way was I getting sucked into that Vortex again! It took a long time to get him out of my head, no way in hell was he getting back in. I'm quite sure he wasn't able to find anyone else willing to put up with his bulshit and the thought of him dying alone and lonely is okay with me
I fell and broke my leg, as I was lying on the floor and asked my husband to help me off the floor. He stood in the kitchen and told me to stop over reacting and get up. I had to crawl to the couch while he watched me in pain.
My mother died and my narc had all excuses why he couldn't be there to support me. He didn't like my friend so he didn't want to come over, then he didn't want to spend the night because my house is in a busy street and he couldn't sleep. My friend passed away instead of consoling me he complained that I was not giving him attention then he told me that my friend left him by himself 17yrs ago.
Definitely a narc. everything is about them. i was with a narc at a time a close family member was ill and i was caring for them. the narc wanted to know everything that was going on from a distance. at a private family time i was to call him every evening and report. as if it were normal interest and support from them but it wasn't. then when i needed them emotionally of course he was busy, no calls then.
Their sick people, I had open heart surgery she left me at the hospital and went to work..
They actually tie their stability to yours so when the mind games start failing they start losing stability
Agree with that one. I was my husband's bank account, chauffeur, sympathiser and mother. He was a parasite. Once I figured this out, I was out the door. Now he is reeling around. He can't buy that cool stuff anymore because he is a loser and doesn't have a job and I am GONE.
Once you have determined who you are dealing with, keep them permanently at a distance. If they are a colleague at work, don't interact with them anymore than is necessary to do the job. Period. Their type will always look for an opportunity. Don't give it to them.
not possible when you share custody 50-50 :(
My spouse ultimately will say something like “we should just get divorced” when I try to bring up bigger issues in our marriage. This video is very helpful to understand why he says that - domination. Thank you Lisa and Dr. Ramani.
Next time he says that you should call his bluff. Say something like, "You know, maybe you're right. Why keep having these same arguments over and over again when we never seem to resolve any of our issues? It's high time I face facts and seek legal counsel to see where we should go from here".
This is gut wrenching. Waste of time energy and so much damage😢
This is in the realm of sadism.
If it doesn't bother them when they see you suffering i believe thats sadism.
I 100% agree, they get pleasure out of people’s suffering… absolutely disgusting behaviour…I just don’t understand how they can treat people so horribly and not blink an eye, they are evil.
A Narc will play mind games with you as a cute little reminder telling you that “I'm still out here” and “you can't get rid of me" and “I'm going to continue harassing you” so they can attempt to continue to control you, your family, your kids, your friends or money or whatever. Mind games are a fun way to entertain themselves at your expence! A Narc loves and wants to win any game so if you let this behavior get under your skin you will be doomed. They will win and you just become the laughing stock once again. It's the hardest thing to ignore because they know exactly what to say or do to get in your head and just fuck you up. Sorry but the 'french' is needed. Look, whatever a Narc tells people (mainly lies) it's just something you can't control and you can't change. People will believe what they want to believe about you and that's on them -not you. If you lose a family member or friend to their BS then that person was never really a good person to have in your life anyway…be gone with the shit and start new with folks who really care for you. Toxic energy needs to be discarded so your healing can continue. Remain no contact and if your situation can be one where you don't have to deal with the Narc then do it. Just stay away and take control of your life! Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
❤❤
У вас богатый опыт🎉
Shes describing all aspects of my situationship for the past 8 years with a narc.
Hes been actively looking for a new supply because hes too greedy to pay his own way. Cant wait until hes gone. In the meantime.....i have plenty of rooms to keep my distance from him.
Did you ever watch the movie “The Break-up”, where Jennifer Aniston’s character says to Vince Vaughn’s character, “it’s not that I want you to do the dishes. It’s that I want you to WANT to do the dishes!”😂
😂
The narcissists in my life never cease to shock me. When I have to be around them, I continuously walk around with a shock look on my face.
My ex husband was 'Mr Wonderful' to the outer world. As we were wrangling about the details of our divorce, I was able to tell him, you are no longer Mr Wonderful to me. I was luckily able to recognize his narcissism so I could stand strong in the face of his divorce manipulations.
When I think of all the ugly things my Nex said and did to me and my daughters, I am so grateful I was lucky enough to finally get out!! Surviving and Thriving!
“A butterfly under glass.” WOW!😢
Bird in a guilded cage…the trophy
Yes that totally got me.
All ways to control and bring you down and ultimately bring you down …steal your soul
IN Narc relationships ALL of your needs go to the wayside while they lie to you to get along with you. They are somebody WHO FEELS NOTHING, AND NOTHING FOR YOU!!
I have been gaslighted so much that I believed I was the crazy one for last 7 years. And the way he trapped me financially is too much. I am trying hard to come out of it. I am out 80% but the last 20% is tough. cutting all ties with someone who you are bounded for more than 7 years is really tough. The going back and forth all the time on my belief system is exhausting.
It is very difficult when you love someone. I hate myself for constantly allowing him back into my energy knowing full well he will never change. But I pray I am out for good now.
The sad thing is because my mother and family did this I accepted from friends.
That really is the sad part. Especially when the family conditions others to treat you like this all the while conditioning YOU to take it. 🚩🚩🚩
I regret the day I said I love you. I'm pretty sure he laughed when I said it 😢
I really feel for the people that spent years with a narc!!! Took me 3 months to figure out what was going on, and i ran like hell!!! An experience i dont wish on anyone, but im glad it was 3 months instead of 3 years!!
Right 4 months for me
@lalasworld7870 the dating scene is a circus....can't believe I was desperate and naive!!
50 yrs...finally free and happy ... 6 yrs now.
I’ve POSSIBLY got 3 narcs in my circle of friends and family….they’re totally unaware of self….well except when they want what they want. Theyre masters at contradicting. Extreme hypocrisy. Blame me for EXACTLY what THEYRE doing, then when I point that out, AGAIN IM blamed, they’re saying I’m flipping it. “You’re the master flipper” my husband says. Mirroring me, taking things IVE said, and later they’re saying it when they’d literally never said it on their own before. Like children copy-cat!
For those of you that are struggling please know that you can do this and stay away from them. Seriously, I had divine intervention. I prayed alot and asked God to help me and become stronger. Being with the Narc was making me physically and emotionally ill. I wrote a pro and con list of what this jerk said and did to me. The cons overuled the pros. Remember that he was wearing a mask so anything he did or said was nice, it was all a facade!!! I had to get my self esteem and integrity back. Once you do that and know that you don't deserve such treatment, you are on your way. Please don't ruin or waste your lives on something that wasn't real!!! Get away!! Hugs and ❤
Finally someone explains it so well! The oppositional defiance and then you feel you have to become manipulative it’s nuts
To realize I've been played like this after 8 years really pisses me off. I always wondered how I can easily walk away from other men when they were on bs but not this one now I see how I've been played. He is blocked and deleted and I'm bout to go heal but I'm pissed. Smh.
Same feeling, sister... So so pissed.
F him girl. Let that ninja go and be the beautiful black woman the Gods world intended u to be
Did I mention “F dat Ninja” ?
I’m dealing with some faultiness too as we speak. He’s so lucky I’m not ME- Circa 2010-2017
In the beginning of our marriage I didn't understand that I was getting bread crumbs. I went out of my way to valentines gift. When he got home he thanked me for the gift and told me that valentines day is overated. I was so disappointed but just settled for what I got. I made due
Now he is calling me a narcissist
the narc in my life shows up every few months for 14 yrs.
bombardes me with compliments and desperate need to reconnect. nothing new. love having the strength to not respond:) thank you❤
Mine doesn’t love bomb but is more civil. Mine will never give me kudos.
I’m glad my ex and I are over. He treated me so badly smh. Now that I’m out of it I see how bad it was. I’m still hurt and sad I miss the good times but not enough to go back to that mistreatment. It’s definitely been a struggle between the head and heart.
You’re not alone… my x gf did this to me. One thing that helped me was. You have to remember the good times weren’t really real. You loved a false version of them. I realized that I had to let Go cuz the one I thought I loved wasn’t even real. That’s what hurt the most. But once you get that drilled in your head you will grieve that you lived a lie but then you heal. Sorry you’re going through that. ❤️
"Limerence" might be the key to people staying in abusive relationships with narcissists, like the dog who caught the car it was chasing. Once in, all the energy goes into proving that it was real and worth the price. Consider that when getting the hots for unavailable people. It is how to throw yourself away after "winning" the struggle by marrying someone emotionally unavailable (e.g. a narcissist). Get out and stay out! Just knowing the word "limerence" is a great help.
I have been married to my narcissistic husband for 20 years and have in last 7 years have faced mental health issues and several life threatening and shortening health issues so he bailed. My husband was more worried about his job than the emergencies I was facing. I’m making my way out of this toxic no love relationship ASAP.
Dr Ramini helped so much to get the courage and leave my narcissistic and abusive marriage 🙏🏻🌹✨🙏🏻
Mine asked himself, " Why do I love you? Bec you're the mother of my children." I thought, that is it?
They know. Because when they go too far they make excuses.
In a bigger comparison-
The Overton window
We would never pay $3.50 for gas BUT if we go from $2.10 to $4.50 for a few weeks and then drop back down to $3.50 we are like thank God.
The only times he was nice to me was when i was ill. You know what? Every month once i was ill. He never came to take care, no. But he send nice words. Crazy how breadcrums i allowed. Never again.
✍🏽✍🏽✍🏽✍🏽 I have experienced this in my past marriage (I stayed 17yrs with silence abuse with my last marriage. This last relationship showed me I was heading into the same patterns. But I couldn’t say nothing to that person they call me a narcissist as an abusive tactics. Even though deep down I know what a narcissist do. Thank God with his infinite power and wisdom he help freed me. It took my mom and sis to finally stay with me to see what I was going through. They cheated with a 2years secret relationship and a child came into a play. This is All facts… thank God for him and professional therapists who are skill to see this tactics
I wish I could have learned this sooner.. I was chirsthian, and I got married to a narcissist guy from church ,and my life it's been so difficult because in church, they don't talk about these topics ,they tell how to see and treat ppl nice so it's hard to identify narcissistic ppl from the very beginning..
Oh my gosh! That “being chosen” really hits hard. I think you’re describing me. I’ve been struggling in questioning myself why I continue to try to work on a 30+ year marriage that has been marked with numerous long-term affairs and a couple of short term hook ups. I really need to do a deep dive into whether it’s this being chosen since now he says he’s realizes the error of his ways and I’m the only one he ever really wanted. He also uses the “ I never left you for them when I easily could have because you’re the one for me” mind game.
Thanks for these deep dives into relationships with narcissists. I am learning so much and I share with my young adult daughters.
mine said the same...never stopped cheating...even spoke to his lovers on his death bed and before he died..not to me.
I was just a means to an end. I made money for him in his business.The nurses in the hospital even tried to convince me that he was single.
@@belindaschafer1593 I am so sorry he did that to you. Sending you hopes for healing.
God sent this message to me today for a reason. The spouse that I am separated from literally offered to print my tax documents and I was fantasizing a reunion. This was the nicest interaction I’ve had with him in a long time lol. I am so grateful for your message!
I am still struggling to find out our finances three years in the divorce. During marriage I did accept him taking over as he brought in the checks and I was young and immature at that time. I also trusted he knew better than me. Years into the marriage when I finally asked to see the finances he said that why would he show me the finances “now”
When I had not been interested before. I needed court orders to see the finances. He also refused to show me our joint taxes while we were still married. I had to write to the IRS to be able you view our taxes.
❤ " No matter what you say they will gaslight " Thank you ladies " I had to go No contact which I guess is a form of Ghosting. After nearly 3 years of cohabitation and 22 years of marriage I am living alone for 7 with all your videos I have become a Narco Slayer. I am saying No after 3 dates to Narcisists: " No liars/No players/ No abusers/No users and more, So my adult son said:" I think that there is only 2 man like that in the entire universe for you!" 😂To which I answered: " Great! Thank you Son I feel hopeful as I only need one! 😅 Happy days🎉
A Narc slayer 😂 That's the spirit! In doubt, stay away from everyone. Life is too short to lose time with yet again the wrong person!
Yes Dr Ramani - it's mainly taught. Hadn't a clue that the children were being intentionally exposed to all of these tactics by the narcissistic parent and did so knowing that he was dimming our delightful souls. He died as he lived - alone, a coward, a lifeless individual surrounded by his demons. We pray for understanding and healing.
Kicked him to the curb after 4 months (which felt like a year) of pure mind games! My last relationship had a lack of connection/passion so this narc made sure to cover all that during the love bombing phase. But there was always something inside me that didn’t feel right. His controlling ways became more profound. I felt like I was going crazy from all the mind games and up and down moments. I finally ended it a month ago. I’m still dealing with the after effect, ruminating and shocked at what was happening. Specially after learning about that personality trait. I cant believe there are actual people out here so demonic, yet along me being with someone like that.
How did you break up with them? I'm becoming more emotionally distraught over my relationship and don't know what to do.
This is so very helpful. I did minimize myself inso many ways.Not physically but emotionally for sure.
I stayed with him through relapse/recovery, hip surgery x twice.
His last relapse was steroid use, gym adoration, porn social media.
I must say I finally wised up & watched for abt 4 months
I discarded 1-1-24 with a blaze of glory & began my journey to my next act @ 73.
I educate myself everyday TY for this content. In this world there are many survivors of these people.👍🏻💪🏻
Wow my significant other is a textbook, narcissist except the raging. However, very calculated in every action.
Me I’m guilty of taking the narc back after 10 years, but my ex is a psychopath and I didn’t realize I was scared and he didn’t have a conscious. Now 25 years of dealing with him, I’m so done. And I love you both Lisa and Dr Ramani! Thank you for helping me understand! 25 years of this bullcrap game (and my family are narcissists cut them all off). You 2 give me so much knowledge thank you!❤
About a month ago, I tried to help a mutual friend. Dad didn't bother to reach out to me. I don't know how my friend did. I didn't give her his phone number. He would have called me, blaming me, incorrectly for giving out his number without permission, despite the fact that I hadn't. That wouldn't have mattered to him: the truth. He gets off on control and being right. Maybe not hearing from him(nil to no contact) was a blessing. I put his number back on "block". For my emotional and other protection.
So, less than 3 minutes in, she basically described my dad in less than 3 minutes.
Same here
For people who lost their happy self after narcissistic abuse and feel somehow stuck: a therapist is imperative. Try to find a trauma therapist who can help you heal the narc programming. You need to be deprogrammed. It’s not you, but you can relocate your happy self and even grow into becoming an even better, stronger person along with finding back your happy self.
It might help to try to remember this is a single evil individual, it’s not you and not everyone else. Try to individuate/disengage from that single person and find back yourself (you’ll need a trauma therapist knowledgeable of personality disorders)
Yikes, looks like I need to find a trauma therapist 🤦♀️
I'm a trauma therapist. I'm a narcesistic recovery coach. I use quantum energy coaching as a modality to reprogram and rewire the damage from the narc abuse.
I'm so tired of being built up only to be thrown down. He told me how special I am, then told me there's nothing special about me.
I could never understand how after an hour plus, sometimes 2+ hours my narcissistic mother would be hammering away at me as a young girl of 13,14, 15 years old and on, for hours telling me how messed up I was until I’d b in tears just apologizing over and over so I could get back in her good graces. I never knew WTH I was even apologizing for!!! You’d start thinking u were the crazy one. I couldn’t follow what she said as she went in circles over and over. She passed away two years ago and I’m finally getting some validation. It wasn’t me like she said it was. It was Her!!!
Thank you Lisa and Dr Ramani! This was a masterclass on narcissistic relationships! Very helpful! ❤
48:19 I call this "pathological obstinance." I actually said this to my ex-narc's face when i finally hit the the final countdown of my escape and did not care anymore if he raged. He actually agreed with this assessment of himself (he thought his "you're not the boss of me" behavior was cute) and by the end of the day, he claimed he came up with it, not me. And that's totally fine by me!
That's pretty good! I think that's what most refer to as oppositional defiance.
My issue is with a neighbour. I live in one of 4 flats in this building, and I feel like I'm not just dealing with the narc but also the landlord. It's almost as if the landlord is afraid of him, or the cost of having to evict him. Even though I sometimes feel like I live in a prison, I'm unable to to move out right now. Sometimes, I am afraid to go out of my front door for fear of confrontation, or, any other potential repercussions.
This hits home… as your home should be your safe space to seek solace , self care, nourishment etc. Often if the work life is stressful at least at home we get the chance to do things as we wish… but when it’s your home you can’t just toddle off to another space. Also hard when it’s more than 1 person that you have to tackle/appease. I hope you find ways to make your space… yours. And not be emotionally held at ‘knifepoint’ about it.😊
I've had that, and the narc (and neighbour) was my landlord, or my landlady. I was afraid to 'run the gauntlet' when leaving the flat, coming back 'home'... and in order to avoid them I would leave before 6 am, come back after 10 pm, and was not able to use the flat to cook healthy meals, use the internet, study, read books, or just relax. I absolutely dreaded that knock on the door... Narcs have absolutely no boundaries and they resent people who are independent and don't need others. Also, my narcs were older than me and liked to pretend that they were my 'mother' or 'father' and could give me useful advice... and would joke (that joke was actually a threat) that if I didn't want them to drop in like this it meant I had something to hide.
@@sharynmain2432 Thankyou for that. You are right, our homes should be our sanctuaries, especially when we choose to live alone so we can have that safe space.
I have raised a formal complaint with my landlord, against the landlord, unfortunately it will also be investigated by the landlord initially, so you can imagine how that's going to end. I will take it further to the Housing Ombudsman. Fortunately I have years of evidence in emails and video recordings to support my complaint. I do sometimes wonder whether I should bother but I feel like it's something I need to do for myself to recover from the years of invalidation.
Again, Thankyou for your time, I appreciated your listening ear.
Can an mri identify narcissism? I can't get my head around the things he's done, unbelievably cruel.
7 years, I was with this nark. It was my birthday, a big one I thought it was bizarre that he didn't even mention anything a month prior what are we going to do like he always did in the past. He totally forgot my birthday on purpose until I was so angry which he knew I would get angry and that I would break up with him, and it's exactly what he wanted and that's what I did so he could Take no responsibility. And a week later went to his new supply, it was heartbreaking. But I've learned so much through you, Doctor thank you.❤❤❤❤
I dunno…my husband hasn’t had a professional diagnosis. It’s just me…who has formal education in psychology, but I’ve been his housewife since 2000. I just get people. He’s a 65, diabetic, extremely independent introvert engineer. But his behavior has been just so unstable, often fits of anger with irrational reasoning. So when he has those episodes I address it when he calms down(days later after bashing me). Well, anyways his episodes as I refer to them are EXACTLY as narcissistic behavior. But it’s not daily, it’s about once or twice monthly. Is it narcissism, early dementia, or just simply good old fashioned SELF centered ness.
Confusion was his favorite tactic and when I called him out he typically reflected back calling me the narcissist. He did his discard ghosted and I was more than happy. The only thing how his his circle will reach out to me and then the narc is texting me to stay away from his friends😂 that just confirms he’s still keeping tabs. It’s just trash!!!
A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldn't just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counsellor, and how do I reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white, and she is a great spiritual counsellor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
I know what you mean....I was in love with an Englishman for 12 years and he just used me......got me a ring ...told me he loved me and then just changed and said he did not want to get married.....and hinted that he was bisexual....I can't stop thinking about him either...it is HELL.....I have gone no contact....but I know that he is sadistic and cruel but puts on another face for his neighbors......it takes time to get over narcissists.....they have no empathy for us.
I'm sorry u feel that way...can't tell u how many times I got that as a apology
Omfg same here.. That Lady drained me so damn much, that it almost made me question myself. Thankfully I trusted my gut feeling and really drove her away.
2 weeks of dating, immediately recognized the love bombing and mirroring. The moment he used a panic attack against me, I cut him so suddenly...didnt talk to him again. Still messaged me saying "oh ill just say that i totallyyy am jorrible and feel horrible...so yeah sorry and wish you well" hated the fact I literally did a 180 and he didnt hear from me...the second I tried to talk about what happened cuz he was "oh so apologetic" he whined that he gets it, and he alrwady feels horrible and im to blame that i wanted to talk and end it like grown ups because he "obviously just needs to cool down from how terrible i made him feel"
I told him he fell on the wrong person, and I forgave him only to not ever think about him, he wont ever be a part of my life nor do I need his whiny texts to waste my time, and blocked him lol.
He didint feel guilty, he just needed his energy supply and to not actually take responsibility. I loved the fact that he couldnt say one thing without me telling him that we both know its bs. Im busy and it ended good day. I told him about my "insecurities" to test him, because im an open advicate for ptsd. Grew up with narc parents. He expected that Ill dump him first thing in the morning and hes MAD that I just refuse to even hint that I care. He thought ill be needy and vulnerable...he forgot one thing cuz that obviously didnt matter...I studied psychology and spesifically narcissistic behavioral disorders 😂
I went from stage 3a ovarian cancer to stage 4 metastatic ovarian cancer because I started chemo later than I should have waiting on my self centered narc mother to come be with me while having my port placed. She just couldn’t be bothered. Her hair & nails weren’t done… and she needed to lose weight. I hadn’t seen her in 25 years because she was too busy with her own life and little to no interest in her only child. These people suck.
I pray that the Lord heals and blesses you in abundance. GOD IS LOVE ❤🎉
We do minimize when it comes to our health. My narcissistic step dad tortured me and I'm INFJ so extra sensitive, by the age of 19 I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure I guess due to being sad all the time and trying to ignore it. When I told my parents about the diagnosis my step dad said I made it up for attention and I truly talked myself into believing it. Fast forward to now and I just turned 39 and I'm doing pineal meditations multiple times a day to keep my heart beating. The meanness will kill you. Please pray for me. ❤
Your step dad sounds like a real tool. Him lying about your own medical diagnosis to your own parents is crazy af. What, like your doctors made it up? And whats it to do with him? I hope your parents are involved in your medical care tho, not just there for being told. And that you can distance off toxic people for good health.
My husband after 14 years had the nerve to tell me i should look the other way as long as he is providing. He would "Joke" that he made me look good when we were out. He just started triggering me and my BP would go up and he didnt care he would laugh and say, it turned him on! I cought him in a lie and and he finally admitted he was tired of living a double life. At that time i said, thank you finally for speaking the truth. I then told him he no longer has to worry about that. I left 1 day after his 40th. I havent been back. However, he still thinks hes got a right to come over whenever it suits him. He has gotten aggressive and forced hugs on me. After he sees me upset he just laughs and says what? Its not like im beating you. Idk why but i see so clearly now and im so awake to how sick he is. I feel sorry for him and discusted that i dealt with this for 15 yrs. I'm loving myself and trying my best to stick to my boundaries with him even tho i know he doesn't respect them.
TWO LEGENDS, ONE VIDEO❤🔥 Thank you for spreading the truth Dr. Ramani & Lisa Bilyeu
Thats what I call them as well street angels, house devils and when ever some one says to me they don't realise what they are doing I'm like... really watch this, and pull the narc up on something they said to me in private or just an enabler there. The difference is night and day and usually pack of lies thrown in for good measure.
After then10th discard he is benching me again. I lost 10 yrs more after the last discard in 2014. I have just blocked him every where this time. I'm 61 now, and can't lose another second of my life on him. Thank you ladies for bringing so much clarity to my situation
When I broke my rib he was so put out I wanted to go to hospital he dropped me at emergency door and left
Nope, I don't do stuck on stupid in any way, thank God and let's go! 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
100% my husband of 17 1/2 yrs. He’s getting served divorce papers any day now.
I’ve just unmasked my narc friend. I revealed his web of lies, deceit, gaslighting and manipulation in a text to him. All of a sudden he’s gone eerily quiet. The barrage of toxicity I get daily from him have suddenly come to a halt. He didn’t see this one coming…
WOW *"death by 1000 cuts"* i literally just used this term with a man I've been talking to...
God's providence
WOW