The child's coffin line never fails to get a laugh from me. It's only slightly less funny than the note questioning if the money clip should be engraved.
At my school rather than talk about stranger danger they just put up 5 posters around the school that all said "don't trust strangers." And the only real assemblies we had were to tell us to go out and sell wrapping paper to strangers and as a reward the top 20 students would get to ride in a limousine....driven by strangers.
I had the opposite experience, I knew about this bit and when the Bittenbinder tape popped up on RLM I was actively rooting for Rich to lose the game so they'd have to watch that one
I actually looked up Bittenbinder a while back, and found a recording of a presentation he gave to a bunch of adults (mostly women). Honestly, his advice was pretty good. Here's a paraphrase from part of it: "Let's say that a guy jumps out of a car, points a gun at you, and says 'Get in!'. Now, what are the odds that if you run, he's actually gonna shoot at you? Not very high, but let's say 50%. Now, if he does shoot at you, what are the chances he'll actually hit you? Not very high, but let's say 50%. Now, if he hits you, what are the chances you'll be seriously injured or killed? Not very high, but let's say 50%. Put that all together, and if you run away, your chance of being injured or killed is just 12.5%. That's really low, and you'd take those odds, right? Wanna know the real number? 2%. If you don't listen to him and run away, your odds of getting away fine are 98%."
This is a real self defense technique. The idea is to kick to keep them back from you so you can find an opening to scutch away or run. But there’s a certain way to get up and it’s usually taught to young adults-adults, not children. Cause it’s not really effective when a kid does it
See us in the Southwest suburbs of Chicago weren't graced with JJ's presence. I don't really remember any stranger danger talks. MOSTLY because our "village"/"township" was mostly gated neighborhoods and upper-middle class people whose parents owned their businesses in cute things like medical practices, construction companies, law firms, or insurance in my family's case. SO... our very well funded police department was always out patrolling for the first non-white, non-asian (including india but not the middle east) looking person, since most often than not, they didn't belong there.
@@Frostiken NO, definitely not in Naperville. Cook County. I think Naperville is DuPage. WOW, have no idea how I got that county right. BUT ANYWHO... I was on the Cook County Will county border.
"That line never gets a laugh but once you write it, it stays in the act forever!"
lmfao
RIP JJ Bittenbinder, you ridiculous human and source of amazing comedy
Oh he passed away?!
The RedLetterMedia curse strikes again
You're a ridiculous human.
Holy fuck did he actually die?? 🥺😳😳😳
@@thingsihate_3333 died May 26th 2023.
It's June 2023... Rest in Peace Mr. JJ Bittenbinder, we might laugh but we love you.
John Mulaney has the uncanny ability to look like a small child when he is speaking as one.
Detective Bittenbinder saved my life. What an awesome man. I loved him. We became friends.
6:19 Is the most underrated John Mulaney moment ever
I think that one is tied with the child coffin joke
5:56 Is THR best moment in the act
Yeah the interview of the kid using the bittenbinder method is the best bit of this special
“Now HE’S cryin’!”
now ive thrown him off his rythem
The child's coffin line never fails to get a laugh from me. It's only slightly less funny than the note questioning if the money clip should be engraved.
I love how he flexes into that old school Chicago accent as the cop 😂
"If the Lindbergh baby had steel-toed boots, he'd still be alive today"
At my school rather than talk about stranger danger they just put up 5 posters around the school that all said "don't trust strangers." And the only real assemblies we had were to tell us to go out and sell wrapping paper to strangers and as a reward the top 20 students would get to ride in a limousine....driven by strangers.
Now John has to be on Best Of The Worst
I was happy that we saw them review it. I was so worried we would miss this golden opportunity
I’d love that
When they showed the Mulaney clip I pointed at the screen like Mike seeing an elderly person!
I literally just paused that episode when they said detective jj bittenbinder just to pull this video up
I love finding RLM references in the wild.
I like how the "phone books don't leave bruises" thing has come up in both this and Trailer Park Boys
“And u r told this by an adult I don’t know” lol 😂 had me on the floor
6:42 iconic
Rest in peace Detective Bittenbinder ❤❤❤
RIP JJ BITTENBINDER 5/26 ❤
Still quote this more then I should
You qoute a 7 minute bit? Impressive :D
Bittenbinder died today in Chicago.
brush your teeth now BOOM! Orange Juice! thaaat's life.
How many people heard about bittenbinder through RLM the last couple days and then looked up this bit? Just curious.
I had the opposite experience, I knew about this bit and when the Bittenbinder tape popped up on RLM I was actively rooting for Rich to lose the game so they'd have to watch that one
*Raises Hand*
@@DustinM83 You raised your hand and i clapped! (Sorry couldn't resist the meme)
@@jakek1735 Yeah it's funny: the guy seems like a parody-magnet. First Mr. Show, then Mullaney and finally RLM.
I actually looked up Bittenbinder a while back, and found a recording of a presentation he gave to a bunch of adults (mostly women). Honestly, his advice was pretty good. Here's a paraphrase from part of it:
"Let's say that a guy jumps out of a car, points a gun at you, and says 'Get in!'. Now, what are the odds that if you run, he's actually gonna shoot at you? Not very high, but let's say 50%. Now, if he does shoot at you, what are the chances he'll actually hit you? Not very high, but let's say 50%. Now, if he hits you, what are the chances you'll be seriously injured or killed? Not very high, but let's say 50%. Put that all together, and if you run away, your chance of being injured or killed is just 12.5%. That's really low, and you'd take those odds, right? Wanna know the real number? 2%. If you don't listen to him and run away, your odds of getting away fine are 98%."
"...and he goes 'Dat's not miiiine' and 'I never seen dat before'..."
“boo hoo it’s in your jacket! and you’re doing 2-10 and your kids are going into social services!”
Whoa! what the fuck is this?
That was…7-year-old John Mulaney, currently being sued for police brutality.
“Now HE’S cryin’.”
"Now I've thrown him off his rhythm."
“You’re doing 2 to 10 and your kids are going into social services.”
Brush your teeth. Now boom! Orange juice. That's life.
RLM Black Spine Edition brought me here.
That's my secret. I'm always off my rhythm
RIP JJ
I feel like this would go well with that Simpson clip of Moe teaching dance self-defense class
"Let's say one of your homies is dissin' your fly girl..."
@@samfilmkid" YA JUST GIVEM ONE OF THESE "
*Flips on his back and starts kicking like a baby getting his diaper changed
"get on your back and kick upwards"
Wouldn't that just put you in the position he wants you in?
This is a real self defense technique. The idea is to kick to keep them back from you so you can find an opening to scutch away or run. But there’s a certain way to get up and it’s usually taught to young adults-adults, not children. Cause it’s not really effective when a kid does it
THIS IS SO FUNNY THIS IS MY FAVORITE
im watching the boys right now and instantly thought of this when hughie's talking to the fed and mention secondary location lolool
The only think more ridiculous than JJ bittenbinders name is his mustache.
I’m just here because of Red Letter Media.
STREETSMARTS! 🤣 Ich liebe den Kerl!
This is so unbelievably funny
Wow, this is the only clip on this channel! That's the kinda dedication Mulaney would approve.
Sirius XM rawdog comedy brought me here😂🤷🏾♂️
Beautiful
how. how do you always pop up in videos i watch
or probs that was another gaster account.......
@@amndmirk I'm everywhere you are. He's an experiment, find and comment on another one of these comments and if it's me you'll know
2022: 698
GOUGE HIS EYES!!
Sorry, wrong scaremonger.
2:06
“BITE AND BIND HER”… I finally realized how messed up this joke is.
bro i don’t think that was a joke but good job connecting those dots lmao
@@jimmyskeletons7403 i meant to say ”lol” at the end.
You know JJ Bittenbinder is actually a real person right?
Like Mulaney description of him matches with the photo of him on Wikipedia.
@@jogmesson still too funny
is this a photo or is my computer broken lol
Erin Mills sent me here.
“Goddamn internet and their goddamn memes…”
5:51
Anyone here from have a word Patreon ep?
Whoa what the fuck is that!? THATS NOT MINE
5:18
See us in the Southwest suburbs of Chicago weren't graced with JJ's presence. I don't really remember any stranger danger talks. MOSTLY because our "village"/"township" was mostly gated neighborhoods and upper-middle class people whose parents owned their businesses in cute things like medical practices, construction companies, law firms, or insurance in my family's case. SO... our very well funded police department was always out patrolling for the first non-white, non-asian (including india but not the middle east) looking person, since most often than not, they didn't belong there.
Oh geee ooooo look *somebody* grew up in Naperville.
@@Frostiken NO, definitely not in Naperville. Cook County. I think Naperville is DuPage. WOW, have no idea how I got that county right. BUT ANYWHO... I was on the Cook County Will county border.
In light of recent events, one question may be asked: was JJ Bittenbinder even real?
yep, and he is NOT very happy about johns jokes
He was real, he was ridiculous, and we miss him everyday.
2:23
(ignore this i just need it for a specch thing)
69 comments?