It's Just A Five Minute Walk - Experimental Short Film Autism
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- čas přidán 18. 04. 2023
- This is an experimental film based on the testimonies of 13 women who answered a survey about the representation of autistic meltdowns on screen. The goal of the film was to incorporate stylistic choices the women found realistic in current industry examples and add elements of meltdowns which were not often illustrated in film and TV shows. The film also reflects their own testimonies regarding how they live their meltdown (what triggers it, what do they feel, hear, smell etc.).
The research question of this experimental project was “How to improve the representation of autistic women within the context of a popular film and television audience using different stylistic solutions”.
As a young autistic filmmaker, I also tried to incorporate some of the emotions and sensations I feel during my meltdowns and engage with this difficult experience in a creative yet realistic way.
Info:
It’s Just A Five Minute Walk
Running time: 07m31s
DOPs: John Gilbert, Zsofia Benedek
Genre: Experimental
Music : Féloche - Silbo/ Stromae - Mauvaise Journée
Non-commercial use - Krátké a kreslené filmy
Hello everyone, I would like to thank you for all your lovely comments and the time you took to share your opinions on the film. As a young filmmaker, seeing all this engagement and support is truly motivating. I apologize for not being able to answer most of the comments. It is true that I wasn’t expecting the film to be so popular and with my studies still going on, it was hard to really take the time to answer each of them, but I did carefully read them. I’m so glad that the project is now more visible and accessible, and I hope it helps more people become familiar with autism and meltdowns. Seeing all the support you give to each other in the comments is beautiful, and I thank you so much for making this project exceed all my expectations.
With love,
Laura-Lys
One of the worst feelings for me is when i come home expecting to be alone and someone else is already home.
Yeah, I absolutely hate when things don't turn exactly how I expected.
@@user-xf7mu7ub9d sarcasm?
@@NOOBCRASTINATOR69 what do you mean?
@@user-xf7mu7ub9d well things NEVER turn out the way we want them to it's always smth diff maybe good maybe bad
@@NOOBCRASTINATOR69 that's not true 🤷🏻♀️
Great job! As an autistic woman myself, I got pretty irritated with the protagonist's friend/coworker for saying she wanted to be left alone and then getting pissy when the protagonist left. It costs zero dollars to communicate clearly.
I'm not autistic, but I have anxiety and constantly worry about people not liking me or that I will hurt others. So I always try to be as specific and obvious as possible when communicating. I know how awful I feel when I get a social interaction "wrong" and I hope to never contribute to that feeling for someone else.
True this is why I always ask people what they want
@@Aster_Riskdon’t talk to them and be you
@@bigrat6030do others then judge you of being rude ( happens to me )? If so, how do you handle that?
Now that's just the point.
To communicate clearly, is very different for people with autism than for those who don't have autism. Miscommunication is not always caused by unwillingness.
I’m a “high-masking” autistic woman, finally diagnosed almost 3 years ago at age 52 . This is such an excellent depiction of how a day can fall apart into sensory and emotional overload. I can usually hide my subtle stimming, push myself (without even realizing I’m “pushing”) to do “ordinary” sensory-challenges like navigating traffic, etc. But an emotional event pushes all the usually “manageable” sensory issues into overdrive, heightening how they impact me, lessening my ability to focus on blocking them.
Her intense struggle to regulate herself on the doorstep was difficult to watch- tremendous effort, and momentary success… but even though she’ll likely make it past the unexpected people without calling attention to herself, that incredible chaotic noise will likely push her beyond capacity, and there’ll be a full meltdown or a startlingly silent burnout in the privacy of her room… 💔
Omg. Yeah, that's exactly what i was thinking. I felt the stress as it built up on her walk and coming home finally to the refuge silence and safe place only to find that it too had been invaded by sound and unwanted, not normal stimulus. It feels like a betrayal of sanctity. Like a crime of a vulgar nature. In that state of disregulation, it would absolutely push me over the edge.
What's sad tho is that if i were her, i wouldn't even let myself stop too long at the front door before going in. Neurotypical culture is so rough on undiagnosed kids. We learn to force ourselves to do things no matter how much it hurts without ever taking breaks for the fear of an allistic person seeing us and becoming uncomfortable. And they wonder why we prefer to be left alone.
I'm exactly the same as an autistic man.
Hello Lisa (I assume that's your name from your username). I am a high-masking female, too, diagnosed later in life when I was 29. I am the same way. When not under stress, my threshold for discomfort is better, but when something happens that pushes me off balance, the "mask" starts to fall apart. If I have any hope of recovery, I need to be left alone in a dark, quiet room. Listening to soft music with no words helps too.
@@aurieamoore5823 This resonates so much with me. I've learned to push through almost everything so any visible signs of emotional regulation just abandoned and I immediately just shut down my emotions and slap on a robotic smile until I can get into my room and stare at the wall for thirty minutes. I'm so thoroughly trained in this unhealthy coping mechanism that I can't imagine what it would be like any other way.
There is a tea danger in using the word „burnout“ to describe what is happening in a truly shaking meltdown like this envisioned following in her own room: it diminishes the neurological and very real damage to our brains versus the usual „burnout“-symptoms (as used per Icd-11 regulation regarding energy-depletion in work(!) surroundings) This usual burnout can be recharged quite easily in comparison. It is way less life threatening and leading to a life expectancy around 54(!) in autistic women on average! Due to „ I can’t live like THAT for any time longer… „ Having to mask is responsible for that…
I especially liked the jacket feeling weird and the little arm movement, that was so spot on, and the music that usually calms being overstimulating in a different situation.
yes omg i love those details so much
Yes the jacket sleeve not being right felt spot on for me too. All day every day, these sensory inputs from my clothes are distracting and sometimes compounding other stressors.
The headphones moment was accurate too. I can go from needing music for hours to needing dead silence in an instant.
i hate so much when my music is not working anymore. nothing is safe after that lol.
Oh my gosh, yes. When music goes from soothing to irritating, I know I'm in trouble. And when the clothes start feeling weird, it's all over. I have to get somewhere quiet alone, stat. Otherwise I'm gonna start yelling and freaking out over little things.
Ye
And this is one interaction with 1 person. Work places can be so much more complex with work relationships, egos, friendship like talk, gossip, laziness, even a ‘how was your weekend?’ can be the most loaded question ever. This video must be watched by everyone - thank you!
You make me feel understood. Thank you for sharing this comment!
For this reason I remain self-employed, seeing one client at a time. I was only recently at 51 & with ADHD a year ago. This video is disturbingly accurate & excellent! I’m so sensitive to exactly all that. I appreciate seeing it in this video so much. Well done.
@@livingjacqueline May I ask what is your profession where you are able to be self employed like that? It sounds great
This is why I'm glad I want to work in the autism field. I think being an advocate for autistic people is great because you understand how hard it is.
Well done, it captures the difficulty of autism with trying to read people's intent when the words don't match along with the overwhelming senses when confused. 😍👍
overwhelming sensation of impending doom
@@JFalcony just..., 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥲🫂🧠🫀🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🙏
@@JFalconyFirst of all, how can those close to you be predatory? How can you be yourself around people you know? I'm curious to understand autism, because I have a friend who has some level of autism.
Thanks.
"I just want to be alone right now!"
2 minutes later...
"Why did you leave?!"
This is why I don't like many neurotypical people. They don't understand that an autistic person takes things literally and we don't mean it to be rude or hurtful. Some of us have social problems and don't always know what to do.
So accurate. My favourite part was when she was overwhelmed by all the noise and she had her headphones in her hand. She literally had the solution in her hand, wear the headphones and turn off the music to protect herself from the noise... but she didn't. Because in a meltdown you just can't think straight. You have a goal, in her case go home, and that's all you can focus on. Not because of hyperfocusing in this case, but because your energy is critically low and that's all you can physically muster. Beautiful, beautiful job.
Yes!!! 100%
Funny u said that cuz u can hear through some headphones like u hear normally unless u put it at max volume
Funny that the song starts with “another shitty day, like a lockdown day”, cherry on top lol
I may not be a woman, but as an autistic man I related to a lot of this. The inner monologues was the cherry on top.
I haven't been diagnosed but I feel you there honestly. I can relate to this stuff so much it has made me pretty interested in pursuing some form of diagnosis in the future.
Same.
@@Dylan-go5iv Do it!
@@RemoteLogic Yeah, thank you for the encouragement. I definitely plan on it eventually, but I'm not in a place in life where that's very easy to do right now, and the line of work I'm pursuing doesn't really rely on a diagnosis so I don't really *need* it per se, it would just be nice to know.
That’s because autism isn’t different in men, women, and others. It’s all the same it’s just that women present differently to men a lot of the time because of how they are raised
As an autistic 17 year old woman myself, I have never seen an accurate depiction of female autism like this that wasn’t offensive or stereotypical. It is amazing to see work like this that is accurate and thoughtful! Well done, you will go far ! xx
That's why it's so important to lsiten to autistic voices when creating autistic representation !!! I agree so much with your comment, I'm autistic and it's hard to find accurate representation to relate to. This film was so relatable, and that relatability is so foreign to me that it made me tear up a little
Yeah, it was eerily accurate and relatable, though I have never been in a situation exactly like that.
is there a difference between male and female autism
@@FishyTheKid generally. Not because of the autism itself, but because of the sociopolitical position that cis-males and cis-females have.
@@liquidbeans4209 what are the differences that you know? For example in a situation like in this video what would be different if the character was a male?
This felt so accurate. I felt vicariously anxious while the lady who wanted to go on vacation was around, and I smiled when I realized the autistic lady got up to give her some space because I was like 'she's being such a good friend'. The analyzing what you did or if someone meant what they said, always seeming to choose the wrong answer even when you really care, and being so overwhelmed by the world and when things aren't how you expect them to be (especially your safe, calm, quiet place), it was all spot on. Even the blurring of the camera, when I'm very overwhelmed in public and hovering on the edge of a meltdown, I start to dissociate and can't make my eyes focus or think or feel any emotion. If it's bad enough, my body starts to go numb too, and everything feels distant and unreal and my head just goes totally empty and time feels like it's either crawling through molasses or slipping by uncontrollably fast. I think of it like saturation when you stir a bunch of salt into water and eventually it just stops dissolving, so much sensory overload that I can't absorb any more. Again, very well done on this film.
I too became incredibly anxious watching this. It’s exactly how something like this can happen. You’re working with headphones and don’t want to be distracted. Then, you try and be supportive when you really just wanted to be working. Then, you leave - also I think personally because of the tension and stress in the room. When your friend calls you are so upset because you thought you were doing the right thing and and yet the result was the exact opposite of what you intended. That would then make me feel really bad because I would have also left because I don’t like the tension and don’t know what else to say or do apart from offer up “helpful” practical solutions - eg dump the useless boyfriend or just check into the hotel it’s no biggie. Then when your friend calls and is angry you feel first confused, because you thought you were doing the right thing. Then you feel selfish because you think that partly you left because you didn’t like the situation, and had been interrupted. Then incredibly frustrated because you don’t know how you could have read or handled it better. Then if you really care about the friend really upset because you didn’t mean to upset them and in fact had thought you were helping them. You’re not sure if you should go back or not because now they seem more upset than you thought they would have been and it feels like your fault. If they say no they don’t want you to go back then does that really mean no? Because they said they wanted to be alone but then it seems they didn’t. But they are also angry with you so if you go back they may be more angry that you came back because they said don’t come back. And even if they’re not more angry you still don’t know what else to say. The only thing that might also have happened when at the front door and you realise the house is full of people and they’re being lively and fun and right now that’s not the mood you’re in and you’re unsure of how to act, is that you sneak in and go upstairs to your bedroom and close, hopefully lock the door and hide for quite a while until everyone has left.
Exactly, to all of that!
Also, I do wish people would say only what they really mean more often. Trying to guess that someone meant the opposite of what they said ("I want to be alone." when really they don't) probably tops the list of oddest things about NT communication. I've certainly had a lot of interactions that were mirrors of this film. They really captured the feeling perfectly.
Neurotypicals are so weird when it comes to validation and attention…I love how we’re in agreement that her friend is the jerky one lol
@@ninjabgwriter I would like to let you know that things like that are defensive mechanism for those people, most likely resulting from childhood experiences. But also most people don't really think about their actions and aren't aware of what they're doing.
I would also like to let everyone know that people like that are just unhealthy and you probably shouldn't have them as friends and tolerate such behavior, especially if it basically makes you sick as well. Doesn't mean that every "neurotypical" as you call them, behaves like that.
Oh also don't get me wrong, I've always wished when I was a child that people would just directly say what they actually mean, but eventually I just accepted that people are unreasonable and started learning where it stems from. I also believe that "neurodivergent" people like all of you who can't deal with this BS are here to change the world for the better :)
@@ShinyaKyo Thank you, I really appreciate your explanation and kind words. I do notice that in general a lot of people struggle with introspection about their behaviors and actions (I certainly have on several occasions, though I'm trying to be more aware), and I think it's partially a cultural thing, but I'm not entirely certain. I've certainly had enough interpersonal conflict in my life to realize that *usually* people aren't sitting twirling their mustaches, planning actively how best to hurt you. Usually. Sometimes they are, and those people are dangerous and need to be distanced, but sometimes they're just in a heightened emotional state relying on the only coping mechanisms they know, which unfortunately may be unhealthy ones. I would say right now my social circle is actually really supportive and wonderful, which I'm very happy about, and we work hard with each other to be kind and respectful, and handle conflict when it comes up in a very honest and direct way.
I probably shouldn't have generalized the 'not saying what you mean' as a neurotypical trait. I do definitely understand that 'neurotypical/diverse' aren't monoliths, and that people are individuals, regardless of their 'operating system', as I like to call it. I really get uncomfortable when I see people talk as though NTs are all villains or uniformly toxic or malicious, and as if NDs are flawless beings who can do no wrong. Conversely but just as disquieting, when people talk as though NDs are broken or not fully people, and NTs are burdened and put upon by NDs having the gall to exist at them. The 'us vs them' mentality creeps me the heck out. I'm not completely sure if this was just my own thought tangent or if you were trying to point this out, but either way I appreciate it because I don't want to slip into that kind of mentality or language.
I have met more NT people who've behaved like this video, but I also have met more NT people in general than I have ND people, so it makes sense statistically. The larger a population, the more likely you are to see something. To use a metaphor, a huge city will have a higher reported number of hospital visits than a small town, because there's more people, it doesn't necessarily mean it's more or less dangerous to live in a city and there's a lot of other variables and factors. I've certainly met many lovely people, both NT and ND, and many people who aren't healthy to be around, also both NT and ND. At the end of the day, we're all just humans trying to figure out how to be human together, and hopefully trying to figure out how to make the world a better place and be better friends to each other. :)
The horror of being misunderstood after giving exactly what an NT said they wanted. The panicky and excruciatingly long five minute walk home after you’ve learned you upset someone by being NICE, and the horror of finally making it to your safe place, only to find it isn’t safe at the moment and you have no safe place to run to. 😭 Excellent work here. My life story.
This is so incredibly accurate, I love it! And also, I got so angry about that "I will call her again and say I'm sorry", because we shouldn't have to apologize when it is the NT people who suck at communication, but it is something that's so often expected. NT people say something they don't mean and expect others to read their minds, and then get upset when instead they're taken literally.
Honestly, NT "communication" style is so backwards. It's exhausting. Say what you mean and mean what you say! Please!
🙋🏼♀️😉👍
I’m NT and I agree with you. People are just dumb.
being nt does not necessarily mean having healthy habits. some people have learned poor communication skills and they have their own work to do on that front. but that's not a healthy communication style for anyone ND or NT. The friend in this video is definitely communicating poorly with her bf as well and its obviously affecting her relationships in a negative way. I really appreciated how the friend's behavior came off as antisocial and wasn't normalized or excused by the narrative. We get to see the mc wondering if she did something wrong because so many of us share that experience of trying to do everything "right" and in good faith even when the other party is not making the same efforts.
This is fantastic! I feel like this really gets things right from all angles. The post-social interaction analysis, the distress of having a safe space/schedule interrupted. My only complaint is the camera work made me feel motion sick and anxious. I scrolled down to the comments and just listened through the part where the camera was circling around the actor (you?). I also appreciate that looking at the dandelion was part of what helped your character regulate the emotions. For me, looking at the small details in nature is something that really helps.
I feel like the disorientation helps deliver the feeling of autism related panic, so I’m glad they showed it like they did, but I agree, it hit a little close to home
@@hello2judas807 Good point!
Same. The camera work in the traffic part partly triggered an anxiety attack in me because it's so similar to my own sensations when I'm anxious. I guess it means it did a good job of portraying that panic to people that have no experience with feeling panicky, but as someone battling an anxiety disorder, I would have liked a warning at the beginning of the video.
As a filmmaker that Gimbal shot walking scene was the best cinematography of the whole film. It's amazing how a special interest can shield me from nausea. :p
Yeah, its really difficult when our safe spaces are interrupted! For me, I'm starting to learn to regulate my emotions by putting in earbuds/putting on headphones. If I get too overwhelmed (Espeically by noise), it makes me cry and have a break down. When things are too bright, I put on my blue tinted glasses- which really help!
This is perfect. The sense of overstimulation after a social interaction went wrong was so accurate! Thank you for this. It’s the most accurate portrayal of autism for me that I’ve seen. ❤
I'm not autistic but this is a very interesting insight into how people with autism experience their daily life. Very well edited and relatable. Always nice to understand fellow-humans a bit better, thank you!
It means so much when people do try to understand us, thank YOU ❤
birds being so shrill. Leafs dappled with sunshine being so flashing in my eyes. Nice to see you seeing this now :)
That's debatable. Take everything with a pinch of salt where a diverse group. But it does strike me as a fair description.
This is not how we experience daily life. This is a snapshot of a meltdown. Meltdowns don’t happen daily for most of us unless we are in unusually stressful circumstances. I melt down a few times a month, sometimes a couple times a week if I have a lot going on and I’ve been shutting down a lot and not asking for help. My 8 year old daughter went through a period where she would have a meltdown every day after school. But this is a specific event that happens to us when either we don’t know we should be taking care of ourselves so we’re focused on catering to others nonstop, or we just haven’t had the choice to take care and put ourselves first, and we have pushed past our limit for what is sustainable for too long.
Like this young woman in the video has probably been eating shit from her friend for days or weeks now and hasn’t yet realized that she herself is not the problem so she blamed herself every time her friend is having a bad day(we autistic women often attracts emotionally abusing, draining people), and maybe she hasn’t stopped to eat properly, hasn’t been getting enough sleep, hasn’t been stimming enough and doing enough of what fills her cup, hasn’t gotten enough time alone to recover from the world. I don’t know what her situation is specifically but a meltdown happens as a result of a multitude of things all spiraling together at one time.
I feel like I should show this video to my mom to explain to her what it feels like and that I'm not just overreacting when something happens
Go ahead, Daphne. If you feel safe. Maybe it'll be the thing that opens her eyes to your perspective. I hope so x
Me, too. Let‘s see.
I hope you can show it to her and that it helps you get some understanding from her.
Did you show it to her? Hopefully, she's gained insight into how life is for you
I showed it to mine and it honestly made things worse. Her takeaway from it was that the lady in the video had "trained herself to calm down" and that the deep breaths brought her out of it.
My experience of autism is seeing videos or hearing stuff and then being ‘wait, that’s what I do. That’s an autistic thing?!’
This was very very accurate. Well done
yeah. This is how my slow self discovery came about. nobody diagnosed me as Autistic, but it's in the family, two siblings diagnosed, my mother probably is undiagnosed like myself. There needs to be far more awareness than what there is currently.
i felt that way watching this entire video
I'm wondering if this is why my vision keeps blurring and my eye keeps twitching
The part where she put her headphones on and the music sounded warped so she ripped them off quickly made me cry.. so relatable
This is spot on! It gave me anxiety watching though, as I felt wgat she felt!
I have PTSD from a targetted shooting (no one died only two injured) and this really encapsulates how I feel sometimes. Sometimes I need to get home as fast as I can because I don't feel safe. I also am sensitive to noise in my house because of things that happened when I was a kid. This film was relatable and kind of healing to watch even if it wasn't made for me. The emotion is still there. The panic. I'm also late diagnosed adhd and have been questioning whether or not I'm also autistic. It isn't important to me to get diagnosed, but some of the coping mechanisms help. Like, I talk to myself like that too and self soothe.
The thing about PTSD is that you're more likely to acquire it if you're innately neurodivergent. I'm so sorry that what you went through has caused such distress in your life, it must be truly terrifying to have lived through that.
TBH I've always suspected that a lot of autistic people develop CPTSD, probably at a very young age, by just... existing, pretty much? I wonder how many of our symptoms are the autism itself and how much is trauma resulting from it.
@@colbyboucher6391why is there always some kind of overlap between ADHD, PTSD, autism and depression? The last one is questionable but a lot of ADHD people are misdiagnosed with depression and vice versa
@@theseangle It isn't always misdiagnosis, though. Obviously people who struggle to hold a job and struggle when they're in one are gonna be more likely to be depressed. Situational depression isn't clinical but one can lead to the other.
Autism and ADHD have the really weird trait of both being differential diagnosis material (as in, they seem similar and psychiatrists need to be careful which they pick) while _also_ being comorbid- some people have both. No one's entirely sure what the relationship is but sometimes people characterize it as a whole aut-ADHD spectrum because they might have a similar neurological basis.
@@colbyboucher6391Other way around. CPTSD seems to be misdiagnosed as autism, ADHD, OCD and some others often. These disorders are sometimes more accurately described as fixated flight responses to trauma. There's a very good book on this that seems to somehow know me and 2 of my friends inside out. COMPLEX PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. (It's available online for free if you google the title + wsimg) It's only 200 pages it gets into this pretty much at chapter 1.
As someone who is on the way to getting an autism diagnosis, this honestly felt really accurate to my personal experience. Although whenever I'm getting overwhelmed things don't usually get blurry, they become oversaturated and sharp and everything is louder, but that could just be me as every autistic person is different.
me too, everything gets much louder, but instead of blurry or sharp, things get brighter looking
Kinda interesting to see how it varies!
I have both, when I'm overstimulated & too tired to adjust to my surroundings, things get blurry, but when I'm stressed out by overstimulation everything gets sharp & loud :)
For me, it's a lot more like getting tunnel vision, and sounds become incredibly sharp in my ears. That's my subjective experience, but I still enjoyed seeing it depicted this way
For me, things don't go foggy visually but I will start fogging up mentally. My senses become overwhelmed, too, when I'm stressed. It feels like the sun burns hotter when I'm stressed, I sweat more (and I hate the feeling of sweat), the fabric I'm wearing will suddenly feel like sandpaper on my skin.
For me the world going blurry was very accurate. Maybe it also connects to dissociating.
Uncomfortably accurate, great job! 👍🏻
My 20 yo daughter has autism and I see so much of her in this video. She is a waitress and works very hard, but really struggles with so many issues that most people don't understand. Very well done, great work.
Good on you, mum. My mum I'm fairly certain was undiagnosed ASD as well, maybe ADHD too (I'm AuDHD) and she suffered a lot through life. Because she never had any help or understanding dealing with her spicy brain, she was really awful to me when dealing with mine - it was the only approach she was aware of. And she died over a decade before any of my diagnostic work so we never got to overwrite it for either of us. Seeing a mum of an adult kiddo with ASD being aware and supportive is super touching - thanks for being.
So accurate. The traffic noise was overwhelming and scary. Take this to a film festival!
I could feel, my chest tighten as she was walking & going through what had happened, I have been in this situation often, I saw her & I saw me. Brilliant work, thank you for this.
When she headed towards the crossing, I was like "Oh no, oh no, that's sensory overload WHY DO ROADS EXIST?!"
@angelalovell5669 I know exactly what you mean, I just wanted her to get to her safe space. It's all I would want to do. The overwhelming feeling you get in situations like that was visible on the actor's face. It was so relatable, but so hard to watch as well.
I don’t have autism but have said for a while that we understate what a burden it is to deal with this type of thing all the time. It would be more than enough on its own to have the inability to read social situations, but then you have the overstimulation aspect portrayed here
Oh boy, do I have news for you.
This was very well edited and acted. It was like a journey inside my head when I "dont know how to be". I want to show this to so many people because it shows something I havent been able to articulate to others effectively since childhood
Thank you for making this!
Same.
Wow, it’s important to see what its like when things get overwhelming. Sometimes, because of private instances like these, people in our life may never get to know whats going on. 👍🙏.
as someone with aquired neurodivergence (CPTSD) i can also relate to this very much.
the sensory overload of traffic and noise, added on top of social stressors and anxiety...spot on!
O.O ACQUIRED neurodivergence? Oh my god, I'm ND times THREE?! You just blew my mind. Of course it makes perfect sense, C-PTSD does drastically affect how your mind works and how you process things... holy living hell... yup, you blew my mind. Thank you!!
Being innately neurodivergent increases your chances of acquiring further neurodivergence.
@@angelalovell5669I've had issues with depression since I was 11 and when looking into I found that mental illness can completely change your brain in a lot of ways. I'm 32 now and I often wonder what my brain would be like if I hadn't dealt with this for two decades.
UGH-- the feeling of wanting to get to a safer place and find relief, finally getting there, and then the massive disappointment and helplessness of finding out that place won't be safe either. And then just needing to sit down in defeat and try to collect yourself. I have this experience every week! It often leads to a meltdown.
Great job. I could really relate. Especially the "its just a" part of the title. Where the world thinks everything should be easy and never takes it seriously. And it really shows how counterproductive that pressure is to put on people rather than just trying to understand the person. There is such a narrow window for "normal" and no one can meet it. I've never met anyone who could do it all in real life. Plenty of people pretend. Some can't manage to pretend. We need to widen our view or normal and widen our world to be welcoming to different people.
And the fact that it might look so serene and quiet on the outside too! Brilliantly portrayed 👏
The whole camera spinning around is exactly what I feel like when I get overwhelmed by different social interactions.
I related so strongly to this, that it hurts. I didn't know I that I'm autistic until my twenties, and even now, I'm slowly learning about things like this, how my autism and how others reacted to it, played a part in my life, thanks to social media and other autistics showing the things they've been through, and I'm now in my thirties.
I hope this makes sense. My brain didn't want to words.
Woah are you my long lost twin, you look so much like me. Also autistic too, diagnosed in my 20s.
@@humansomewhat2167 Doppleganger effect? xD
🙏 made perfect sense! My brain doesn't always want to words properly, either, but you may notice, our magic brains still manage! It's almost like we speak how a lot of foreign languages do, with the parts of the sentence switched around. For example, something technically translating to "the door I open" as opposed to "I open the door"
Thank you for making this!! As an autistic woman, I've never seen a piece of art so accurately reflect my lived experience. This is so genuine, and incredibly well shot, acted, and edited!! Thank you for making this!!😊
This was so accurate, especially the camera circling, I started crying and I was physically trying to move for the cars - I plan to show people in my life so they get a sense of what life is like in my head. Im a huge masker so Id literally walk in and be "hey Im here!" But then snap at the first person who annoyed me.
The editing rhythm is perfect. The cinematography is very powerful. Excellent production! I subscribed to the channel!
I'm a 50 year old man with ASD. This video came up in my feed. I didn't expect it to be a bit of a trigger but by the end, I was feeling it in my mind and lungs a bit. That means you did a gret job. Thanks for making this, I hope it helps people understand a little better what I've always struggled to explain over the years.
Yes, very triggering here too. Wasn't sure if I could finish watching it. Had to keep reminding myself to breath too.
Well done! My sensory issues are different than these, but you simulated the meltdown well. I feel the social confusion with the co-worker.
I'm not sure what a meltdown is. To me, it seems like she nearly melted down. Would this count?
@@cardboardbox191 adults with less severe autism seem to sort of internalize it or have more of a "shutdown", due to learned social expectations. but also everyone is different.
this video is depicting the internal chaotic feeling which might occur either way
My meltdowns lately have been like a toddler tantrum and it’s never been that bad before, it’s so embarrassing. I used to just shut down completely.
@@MsOmgnowai2 cheers
Yes, this is exactly it. This captures my lived experience so much better than any list of clinical symptoms I've ever read.
There are so many things about this film that are spot on, but what struck me the most is how her meltdown went totally unnoticed by others. She managed to collect herself before going into the house -- the people around her will never understand how much she struggles.
the repeating things to herself over and over and heavy breathing oh man spot on for when I am about to have meltdowns. So accurate
I'm coming out of a meltdown and I wanted to find my comfort videos but I saw this suggested and I needed to watch. This is exactly what it was. This is how it is.
Thank you for this. I have lost friends and even jobs because I've misread people and situations. I'm 57 and am lucky to have a few friends who accept me,but I never know when I'm going to mess up again.
Music/song trigger warning for Misophonic & Hyperacusis folks! Especially at the end, whistling & sharp noises!
People not saying the words they mean & leaving us to interpret is NOT our fault. We take them literally & if they aren't kind enough to say the truth, would rather blame you for following what they said/asked to the letter, it's NOT your fault.
Yeah, the bird whistles felt like knives in my eardrums.
This was like looking in a mirror - I got diagnosed at 31 after avoiding getting the assessment for 7 years. I literally just had a conversation with the neighbors about their honeymoon, and walled away from the conversation, truly, going "I did well, I asked where the went and what the trip was like. I showed them I was interested by asking the right sorts of questions. I did well." And then to literally see that here. God I wish the smallest interactions didn't feel like I needed to remember a script. Thank you.
Yes to all of this. I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. I need a silent environment to regulate my emotions, but the world can be so loud.
This is very, very well done. I'm also an autistic woman and this perfectly captured what it feels like to spiral into a meltdown. The way the camera was circling indeed made me a bit motion sick, but I felt it beautifully illustrated how it feels to try and explain yourself when there are communication misunderstandings and you just go round and round trying to figure out where it went wrong. Also the out of focus with the heavy breathing was so relatable, when everything around you is too much and your mind just goes hazy and foggy. My heart rate went right up and I felt very panicky, which just shows how familiar it is. Thank you for making this!!
This highlights to me to always be kind to strangers, you never know what they are going through!
I found the depiction really heart-clenching, especially when the character almost went into hyperventilation on the street crossing. Really well done, thank you for sharing this with all of us!
Such a eloquent piece of acting. Thank you, besides educative, it displayed a truly endearing character; I couldn't imagine what the hurdle was like, but I decidedly felt it
I'd rather be alone than deal with a friend that wants to be alone then spins that into not being friends because I gave them space to be alone 😕
this is incredible. ❤ as an autistic person, this so vividly displays some of the things we feel and how we take in the world
I almost felt breathless whilst watching, this felt stressful and unonftorbale in the best way!
I didn't realise i was experiencing a meltdown but this happens to me all the time.
Locking onto objects with my eyes to try and calm myself after I’ve been upset by something, the overwhelming sound of the cars passing by and even the music I like, squeezing something like the jacket in the video, these are all very relatable. I’ve gotten better at navigating social situations like the one in the video by asking more questions and not always trusting my assumptions on what people mean.
This is incredible. The first time I’ve ever seen a piece of media that accurately represents how I see the world around me, and the internal dialogue and self soothing is so accurate.
Thank you so much for creating and sharing this video for others to experience.
I see this video at a perfect time, I had something similar today and this portrays a lot of how it went. I had a bad social interaction where I didn't feel understood at all, misinterpreted, constantly interrupted, couldn't finish the mental script I prepared, and ended up so drained that I had to cancel all my plans for the day. I couldn't keep up visual contact at all and it started to become harder to talk, I snapped crying, and just left
I don't know if I'm autistic but I do have ADHD and I relate to this, maybe in a different way. I used to think I had panic attacks, but this feels like pressure coming from everywhere and not fear in itself, a lot like in the video. I "snap" and everything I've been avoiding (sounds, touch, lights, combined with the social anxiety) becomes too much to process and my mind isn't there anymore. All I think is that I need a safe space alone, without the sensory input, to cry and let it all out.
I am a 42-year-old woman, recently diagnosed with autism and ADHD. I suffered a lot in my life and I still do but now I know why. Situations like the ones in the film have always been an integral part of my life and I think it's great that such films are made to depict how meltdowns feel like - I think it's a very accurate representation. Great job!
fantastic film, autistic guy here, the experience of misunderstanding what people want and the editing of sound/the spinning camera movements to show sensory overload is very relatable
This is soooo touching!! It really gave me a lot of insight. I can completely see the situation from both perspectives, and I can understand how they can't see eachothers perspective either. She friend has no idea her venting is taken literally, and she felt abandoned in a moment where she was hurt without explanation. The girl who took her comment about wanting to be alone completely literally because she did not understand the context and actually wanted to support her by leaving. It's a bit heartbreaking really. I had so many situations like this with a boyfriend who I now see has ASD. He would not pick up on ques leaving me feel completely confused, abandoned and alone. It really chipped away at my self worth how distant he could be and run away or not talk about things that mattered but avoided all difficult topics. It was so painful and confusing to me at the time because I felt like I didn't matter to him at all, or that I was a burden. I don't think I have recovered from the pain and confusion but this video helps me a lot.
I felt like I was going through what this woman was experiencing. I could feel my chest getting tight as all the noises were intensifying. This is a great video to show to someone who may not completely understand how an easy task can feel impossible. I felt that residue of panic when she finally got to her safe space and had the plan to have some time out. And then still wasn't able to because of people being home and it's still busy inside. I know it isn't real but I still want her to get some quiet time to herself 😅
The inner monologue is great, some times I have a few voices talking to each other as well of maybe me beating myself up for what I may have done wrong and then another telling me it's ok, I did my best. And another telling me I don't have to think about anything now. Just. Get. Home. One goal I need to do and then I can process. The way I've described that to other people is saying I have a "busy head" and during those times that the thoughts are amplified, it's difficult to follow any other narrative or be given new information to understand. And the blurring is well done, I didn't realise that could be part of it and I sometimes say "I can't see" when I have a panic attack or am over stimulated. But it's more like I physically just cannot let my eyes focus on anything?? I can feel noises rattling inside my body sometimes, sharp noises going through my ears and vibrating all around my head and down my chest. I tend to put headphones on but just not have anything playing during those times. It muffles it and makes me not feel like I'm being hit by sound 😅 idk man, I've never really said these things outloud I guess and maybe should try and explain to people a bit more? Thanks for letting me rant though 💪 I'm slowly coming to understand what may be happening to me and learning about things myself. The better I can understand, the better I can help myself and others ❤
Oofa doofa. Yes. When the meltdown is already in progress and then: obnoxious bird noises. 😆 It’s remarkable how birds are either my favourite thing or absolute sensory hell.
Anyway, this is a really good illustration of how quickly you can get completely overloaded. Nice work. ❤
Agreed. Birds are either a delight or my mortal enemy. That one got me good, and the cars.
@@angelalovell5669 I once had a meltdown over a pigeon. I was stuck somewhere close to this bird and it was non stop and I had no ear plugs or audio of any kind. Extremely funny, as a concept. Not so much when it's happening.
Extremely accurate. It can just be some small thing that triggers it, and then you're drowning in this sea of intensity and you don't know what to do about it. You want help, but interacting with people is itself one of the most stressful things, and besides, you're in no state to communicate and you don't really know what anyone could do to make it better. You just have to take care of yourself as well as you can and hope it settles down before the next thing hits.
I like how this portrays the spiral and pain neurotypicals put us Autistics through by not meaning what they say or doing as they say they are going to do and just make excuses. It just ruins our self esteem by making us feel bad for NTs lack of understanding that they should just mean what they say and not make excuses for it or just don’t say things they don’t actually mean and then make us the problem because it just doesn’t help anything and only does more harm to the Autistic person than good.
This needs wayyyy more recognition
I love the use of camera movement, distance and focus/blurring to showcase how overstimulation feels, so immersive and feels so authentic!
THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE ONE. Thank you so much for making this.
Having the camera 360 around was a great representation of the confusion and head spin you feel of overwhelm
the cinematography is really good in this! i’m sure that circling scene was incredibly difficult to get right, great job
When my music is too overwhelming but so is the sounds around me, I usually put the headphones on without the music playing as it muffles the sounds around you a little bit
Thank you! When people think of meltdowns they always think of someone screaming and going utterly berserk - this is such an accurate depiction of how I feel and react I just felt relief watching this. Thank you❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
This is amazing 💜
Love how that meltdown/shutdown building up was represented. The spinning while on the confrontational phone call, losing visual details with the blur while amplifying all the sounds... yet still trying to analyse what happened and how to fix their "mistake".
A fantastic resource for neurotypical people to try to understand the autistic experience. Thank you for creating this 💜
This is exactly it. Especially after a confusing situation with your friend. I usually don’t have trouble walking home but when im confused and feel like Ive done something wrong, everything suddenly affects me, the way the music wasn’t comforting either and the blurry vision. I love the detail on how the camera zoomed out at the traffic showing that on the outside the person can seem completely fine. Noting that autism is mental, not physical.
2:43 the camera work here is brilliant. The spiraling thoughts
So well done. 36yo AuDHD mom here, this was spot on to how I feel all the time for misunderstandings or when I think I have alone time but I don’t. Both my kids are autistic, one is AuDHD like me. So their melt downs are huge and explosive but they are little and 3 & 5yo melt downs are loud and sometimes violent. My meltdowns are normally silent on the outside but inside the explosion is just as bad as with my kids sometimes.
I can't judge how accurate this short film is from my own experience, but from my external point of view, I think this is excellent!
a great doco, and BANG ON!!, I am an Autistic MAN, but well done!, this shows clearly the symptoms of a meltdown, and that it isn't always the one cause, but an effect of multiple events during a day, and that even stimming, etc. can't always "get us out" of this situation.
Hi. I am autistic, 21 year old, female. I recognize the talking to myself in stressful times a lot. It makes me feel crazy sometimes but it also helps kinda lower the tension of a situation. I know its different for everyone which is why i usually only relate to a portion of these videos but im still grateful! Thank you for posting this!
“I did well, I did well.” I’ve never actually seen that in a film before (unless it’s a crush or something), wow.
Uncomfortable and accurate. Young ass trans woman with Asperger's over here, and this is probably the closest accurate depiction of a confused brain wrapping it's head around what just happened and how to deal with it. Great short film y'all who worked on it.
oh wow.. this made me cry, it brought up so many emotions and unfair situations from my life.. I feel so seen. Perfect depiction, the small details like trying to focus on an object (dandelion) while trying to catch your breath... congratulations on this short film!
this was SO beautiful and well-done!!!! i loved the use of cinematography to help display the feelings of a meltdown and it was so so accurate!!! a beautiful short film i really enjoyed it
This is amazing. I have Autism. I think it is great that people are educating society more about some traits Autistic individuals have. 😊
The fact that this was so relatable as to make me viscerally uncomfortable is amazing! This is just so spot on. Thanks for making me feel seen ❤
Watching this video, as a late diagnose autistic, felt like looking into a mirror at an angle that is not straight up front, and seeing my reflection turn to look at me. 10/10
The most accurate depiction of an autistic experience i've ever seen.
Telling someone you want to be alone and then getting mad at them for leaving you alone is the stupidest thing anyone can do.
Yes! I understand this so much and I just wanted to hug that young woman. This is what my life is like. I guess I'm autistic. Im 51 and just starting to understand myself. Thank you for this. Excellent video. This is exactly how it feels.
You did a really good job of making the street seen really disorienting! I have adhd so being *over*stimulated isn’t as common with me as it would be w an autistic person, but I still think this captures it really well!
This is very well done! Many things in this film resonate with me very much. If only they correctly portrayed autism like this in larger movies!
Have you seen Heartbreak High? It is shown there really well, similar to this! :)
@@Mijolite Thank you for the recommendation
This is unusually accurate, the way the camera fov was significantly reduced felt really relatable. Although that doesn't literally happen to me, and my vision doesn't literally go blurry, it feels like I'm only able to focus on everything that's ahead of me, and I can't see very well because there's just too much to look at, and moving my eyes or head to look at different things feels excruciating and effortful, just like when fov is reduced on a camera. I really like this
wow, the way i relate to EVERYTHING and yet most people i know would be so confused by this entire short film and not get it. really hit the nail on the head.
I relate to this so hard. I grew up in an environment where these things weren’t talked about and I was expected just to deal with my big inner feelings on my own. My family didn’t ever talk. And of course learning that I was trans later in life put a lot more things into alignment for me including that my autism was more in alignment with how girls experience it. So the feels so familiar to me. Thanks for making this!
This was so painful to watch, but so accurate!
This is how I feel at work and when I leave to go home , I have a huge problem understand social things and always have , sometimes I melt down at work and sometimes at home . This is such a good example of what a lot of us ASD people go through , thank you so much for making this 😊
I was just officially diagnosed with this , sure wish I would of had help growing up instead everyone thought I was lazy and just didn’t want to do homework from school ,when in fact I just couldn’t focus and follow what the teacher was saying.
On my behave though I am very creative and love ❤️ painting horses and sculpture.
Omg! Absolutely accurate and I was even in very similar situation with a friend. “Leave me alone” and then “you are not a real friend, how could you leave me alone?” I never understand people like that. I’m not diagnosed but I feel it
Excellent work including the scratching... Ugh yes, everything is so ITCHY when having overload. Rarely see that in film :)
Even as an autistic guy, this is more accurate and representative of what it feels like than most anything we ever see on screen.
I have NEVER seen something filmed that comes close to my experience. The fact that the cars are louder than her own thoughts drowning them out, the fact that she is overwhelmed by her emotions after the call and everything gets more intense.