I have a Tshirt that reads, "If I'm ever on life support, unplug me and plug me back in. See if that works." Sounds dark, but sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.
Me too. That's the first thing I thought. I don't know her but I've read her book and watched her videos and it makes me sad for anyone going through a divorce especially with a child.
I'm on my own, 55, with care support. I have things I do and don't want, so I have a nice notebook, with everything I want at the end of my life, even down to who isn't to know about my passing. It's called my "Just Incase" book.
My beloved wife passed at the VNA hospice in Valparaiso, Indiana, on June 2, 2021. I have nothing but the highest respect for hospice nurses. I was left utterly angry and embittered at the incompetence of her previous experiences at the hands of doctors at hospitals and nursing homes. Only the hospice nurses redeemed any trace of faith in humanity. Thank you.
I am also from Valpo and I'm so sorry to hear about your wife and her negative experience. I'm so glad, in the end, she was given compassion and respect during her final days. 🥰
I didn’t know you were going through a divorce Hadley. I’m so sorry! You are so very loved by so many & have an amazing community to reach out to for support if you need anything! (Not assuming it was his choice or yours but I’m sure either way it would be difficult. I’ve never had an easy breakup & I’ve never even been married yet.) also, thank you so much for highlighting topics like this and for sharing sweet stories of your patients. You have changed so many lives and done so much good for the world ❤️
Not only is it important they know the answer, it's important they follow it through!! Thanks for showing us what it looks like when the person you chose isn't capable of handling the responsibility, very rarely is it out of malice that they deny your wishes but it's important that you get what you asked for
Thank you Hadley. You just prompted a conversation between my mum and I. She knew the answers to the questions and i knew hers. We have promised each other what we want when it comes to life support. I said don't give up on me easily of course, but if the essence of Tracie has gone then let the rest of me go.
Hadley, I wanted to say thank you so much for your book. It changed my life. I have been a caregiver for 21 years and have never furthered my career until reading your book. I signed up for nursing school. I start in august and i am going to go into hospice when i complete it! I have never been more certain of anything in my life. I never would have had the lightbulb go on if it wasnt for reading your book. You changed my life in more ways than you can ever know. Thank you. ❤
That is so great! Being a nurse is often a thankless but rewarding profession. It is not everyone's calling, but when you know in your heart that it's what you want to do, your patients will reap the benefits of your care. Wishing you the best of luck!
So sorry to hear that you are going through a divorce. You have taught me so much and I hope you continue to do the wonderful work of helping folks say goodbye. God bless. 🙏🏼
Mom, sometimes it's necessary. It hurts for the rest of your days but if it needs to be done, it needs to be done. I pray you never have to deal with that.
Thank you so much for all your videos. My Dad has been declining over the last couple of years and when he started sleeping all the time in the last 6 months, I kinda knew what was coming. 2 weeks ago, he was still walking himself to the bathroom. Then, overnight, started throwing up and couldn't get up the next morning. A quick 911 call and he was at the hospital. They turfed him to a rehab facility after 5 days, but, he wasn't getting better. When he started not eating, then visioning, I knew. That night, the rehab place sent him back to the hospital. He had the terminal secretions then. He died that afternoon with my brother and I holding his hands. It was peaceful and easy. I really think it helped me come to terms faster as I could see it coming from the knowledge I picked up from yours and Nurse Julie's videos. So, thank you. (and very sorry to hear about your divorce. from your book, it seemed like such a good relationship)
Thank you for sharing this with us . I am going to ask my husband and my children these same questions, but not in front of each other. Great video to get us all thinking.👍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Hadley you are an amazing woman and you are getting more beautiful by the day! You have found your calling and help so many people with your videos. Bless you. Wishing you strength and courage as you go through your divorce ❤❤❤
Hey Hadly, my name is Lillian. I got your book a few days ago, and it made me cry, especially Carl it has changed my perspective on death and how it is a normal part of someone's life. Thank you. ❤❤❤❤
Oh definitely, especially after dealing with several sudden and unexpected deaths of family members! Our state has forms for those questions at least. I knew what my husband wanted and my mom has talked about it so we know for her. I've even had the "discussion" with my adult children and my sister. We recently set up policies for our after death needs with a funeral home and we can do payments for now. You need to plan ahead!
DNR is also a thing. I found Five Wishes quite helpful as a resource even though I am not a U.S. citizen and one is not allowed to appoint a healthcare proxy in my country.
I borrowed your book from the library and couldn’t get through it all because I had cleansing cries after each story and my renewals ran out. It was so good!!! I’m going to borrow it again, once everyone else has read it, it’s very popular at my library.
I know this is none of my business. But I read Nurse Hadley’s book, The In-Between, and it had a profound impact on me and my understanding of what my parents went through when they went through hospice at home before they died. By the time I got to the chapter called Babette, I had to put the book down because I had tears and snot running down my face. By that time in the book, I felt like I knew her family so well that I was just not in an emotional space to be able to read what I knew was coming next. I finally did, of course because I finished the book, but my point is, in reading the book I felt like I got to know, her and Chris’s family, Chris’s parents. I saw in the video she said she was getting a divorce, or is divorced. A part of me hopes it doesn’t means she is divorcing Chris. But, like I said, I know that it is not my business, but I feel sad about it. I don’t get online enough to keep up with every video she posts, so maybe she has addressed this before. I hope she just mentioned the divorce just as an example for the video, as in, if you get divorced, make sure those closest to you know what your wishes are. By the way, I highly recommend her book. It feels like I haven’t read a book since the Harry Potter books. I just got tired of reading. My eyes have changed and I just don’t feel like I have the mental energy to read very much outside of work. I got my love of reading back reading this book. It is so well written, and so engaging and lovely and such an easy read, I got done with it in a weekend and enjoyed it so much!
Get your final wishes down in writing AND notorized! What if these ppl you're counting on are also incapacitated? In stressful times our emotions often do override! Look at how we pay ridiculous $ on fancy coffins..only to turn around and bury it in the ground! Does anyone think that will make a diff to the departed? Will your friends like u more bcz u splurged? Get it all down and be specific! It will be your last chance to make sure your final wishes get done!
My MIL did have her wishes written up with a lawyer and notarized. Noone cared. They asked my FIL what he wanted to do. It really is up to the family. If you are incapacitated the medical staff may not even know you have a Health Directive. Same for your organs. It is up to the family and your wishes are not legally bound by a donor card or marking that box on your license at all but even if your wishes are filed in a court somewhere unless someone gives it to the hospital then they may not even be aware. Your family ends up with the responsibility in the end. If the hospital is aware family can still have the last say. There is precedence in the courts for that already. Usually a Health Directive also has to name an agent for your Healthcare in case you are incapacitated. In that case that person,usually a family member, has every legal right to go against any previous wishes from the incapacitated person. Basically your final wishes are not legally binding over the person you named in the health directive once you are incapacitated.
This is so important! We don't think about preparing, but it can happen at any age. This should also be written down somewhere. Side note: I also love your Mom's response, but it's definitely good you called your Dad. ❤
I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a difficult time/situation. But you are absolutely strong and deserve the world. We love you. And I wish for you to have peace in your life.
Thank you for this post. I knew I wanted to ask these questions but didn't know how to ask them. You are such a boon to me with all your hospice stories and how caring you are. Not to mention that sweet, soothing Southern accent. 🥰 Even with going through a divorce you take the time to help others. May happiness shine on in your life. Hugs.
I've had this conversation with all my family- if I'm gone, I'm gone, shut it down, and don't you dare stick me in a box, scatter me off the coast of Hawaii cuz that's probably the only chance I'll get to go there lol
I have long said that if I'm terminally ill, but am still ambulatory, I will go off into the wilderness and live out my days enjoying the splendor of the natural world. Then, when I shed this mortal coil, the wildlife can eat me. And, if I die suddenly, like in a car accident or something, I want everything donated, either for transplant or for science.
I understand mom’s attitude. Very difficult to give up on a loved one even if that loved one wants that. I think mom is saying, “You should name someone else as your health care proxy because I don’t know if I would be able to let you go”
My parents were both transplant organ recipients. My family knows my wishes, but I also have a written out living will made up through my lawyer. I have a child protection plan made up for short and long term situations with my exact wishes.
Oh no! I believe she just meant hypothetically if she were to get a divorce since her husband would be in charge of taking care of her wishes as she passes on, if she got divorced she would rely on those wishes to be met by family and since her son is a little boy, that would go to her mom. (I think her dad passed) But it would go to a parent or a sibling depending on who is alive by the time this comes up. I don't believe she is actually getting divorced, after all she just called her husband in the car and they were laughing and talking comfortably. She just wanted to see if her mom remembered the answer to these requests after the end, not that she would have to take care of it, Heaven forbid, but because it is good for family members to know just in case. Like writing a will, not that it's going to be needed any time soon, but it's good to take care of things we'll do before they happen. We all love Hadley, don't worry! 😊❤
I've always said if I'm on life support to leave it on for 6 months and if there's no improvement to unplug it and let me go. I had a brain aneurysm in 1997 and survived that and just feel like if there is no brain activity and no improvement in 6 months that I would be ready to leave and go see my heavenly home. ❤❤ Love your account and we are all so lucky to have found you. ❤❤ May God always bless you in all you do 🙏🙏🙏
I lost my grandma April 2024 and before she passed I’ve been watching you for I don’t know how long but and my dad and I never told him this, but I can feel my grandma side of me and as I’ve been watching your videos and skits sad
My father passed in 2022. After we watched both my mother and step-mother die in facilities in 2014, he made it known that he was going to die at home, NOT in a facility. When signs started suggesting the end was getting near, he reminded me of his preference, and I made sure no one sent for EMS, etc (since I was the one responsible for all the 'hard' things in our family - funerals and such). It was one of the hardest things I'd ever done.
My mum and I sometimes just start talking about this, it's been an ongoing subject since my grandpa's death over ten years ago. For me it's especially important as I'm chronically ill and the illness is pretty unpredictable and I want my wishes known in case something happens. I don't know how it is in the US but here in Germany it's expected that people write everything concerning their end of life care down and often the hospital is handed a copy to be put on file.
You also need to know whether Advance Directives are legally binding or are merely suggestions. It varies by jurisdiction. Where I live, if I am unable to express. my wishes, my Substitute Decision Maker has to instruct the doctors, because our doctors won't "take orders from a piece of paper." So choose you SDA carefully. And have the hard conversation with them. Also, they should be your age if you're young or 15 years younger than you if you're middle aged or older. You don't want to outlive your SDA.
When I am very sick and dieing heck as long as I am confortable I dont care , then after I am dead my Soul has left this body I don't care what's done with it . ❤
I love that your mom was completely honest & that you guys are able to laugh about it. Honestly fair enough, I bet a lot of parents couldn't bring themselves to make that call even though it's not really their call to make when they know their child's wishes
My dad-who had wonderful Hospice care at home for his last 3 months-always told us this. “If there’s no hope and you don’t turn off the machines…when I finally do die, I’ll come back and haunt your a**! “ He died peacefully at home and there’s no haunting!
My parents, sister, and I had this talk when us kids were in junior high/middle school. Our parents had serious health is l issues, so it was prudent to plan ahead. Thankfully we were adults when they passed away, within a year of eachother. When it came time to finalize their final wishes, my sister and I agreed on everything. Which was a first! I'm sorry about your divorce.
I loved the end! I was my dad’s medical power of attorney because, in an emergency he didn’t have one & I was the only family member to step up. He was in and out of the hospital then a hospice facility for five months. The best part for me is his hospital & hospice only allowed me to speak to the medical team- so I got everything first hand & all my questions answered. Kept me from feeling helpless during his illness
I stumbled into your contwnt again and was very glad it came up. I tried togo back and watchsome of your older videos and so many are gone. I feel crazy, i wanted to hste some kf them but theyre just gone
My husband knows he is to take extreme measures and never give up until my body is full of rigor-mortis. Brain dead? I can come back from that. Dead dead? That too!! It happens 😊
Oh Hadley, I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce. It's so hard on you both and your kiddos. If I'm ever on life support I'm already a DNR and explicit directions to shut it off and let me go in peace. I would like to know I have the dignity left to make my choice. As did my kids. I feel like I have to share this; Not just for myself but for other parents who may find themselves in this place. I DID have to stop life support on my youngest daughter. It was the hardest most emotionally devastating thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. However, it was the right thing to do. It really was the only thing to do. Caitlin was only 32. She had been with "friends" who drugged her and themselves up and then fed enough alcohol on top of it to kill a small country. We were NOT home when these "people" dropped her off at our house INSTEAD of the hospital a literal mile from our home. She began having seizures a couple of hours later and stopped breathing. She had vomited while on her back and inhaled almost all of it, destroying her lungs. We didn't know what had happened; her fiancé simply thought her breathing stopped. He called for my husband and I and I started CPR immediately. I kept that up for over 20 minutes until the sheriff and EMS arrived, in that order. As I was doing the CPR I checked for both pulse and breathing and checked her eyes. I KNEW right then, she was gone, but I kept going anyway. Doing all that stuff calling for her to come back The sheriff took over for me and attached the AED and shocked her twice when EMS arrived. We are now about an hour in. After EMS arrived, they continued working on her for about half an hour to try to stabilize her for the short ride to Soldiers and Sailors Hospital but eventually took her with a paramedic on the gurney doing chest compressions while they were loading her. At the hospital, the ER staff worked for another 2 1/2 hours before the doctor came out explained they had gotten her heart to start but it only lasted about 15 minutes and she coded again. It had been over 2 hours of nurses and doctors literally doing manual compression on her, intubating her, shocking the heart, ANYTHING that might bring her back. Then they had to ask me if I wanted them to stop. BOTH my ex-husband, Caitlin's father and Ken, her "Dad' as she chose to call him, left me to make the decision alone, and I told them to stop. I could not put her through anymore. The length of time her brain had been without oxygen meant catastrophic brain damage if she did survive and that would have been so unfair to her. It was only after the autopsy that we all learned the amount of fluid in her lungs was not survivable. It's called Terminal Asphyxiation. She was my baby girl. She was smart and funny and sarcastic and beautiful, and I miss her so much. Now, the story didn't end here though. 9 1/2 months later, on November 16, 2023, my only son, Jeremy, hung himself in our house, in the room directly above the room Caitlin died in. My husband Ken found him and had to cut him down and I did the whole CPR thing AGAIN until the Sheriff and EMS arrived. Again, it was 15-20 minutes. And again, when I did all the checks that training drills into you, when I checked his eyes, they were fixed and dilated, no pulse, no breathing, tongue swollen and becoming cold on his peripherals. And I knew... The coroner was called in and he pronounced Jeremy. He killed himself because he could not live with the belief he had let Cait down, that he could have saved her. Both Ken and I live with that every day ourselves except now, it's for both of them. He was so funny and smart and handsome. He was a true artist in every sense; music, painting, sculpting, he was such a beautiful and gentle soul, just like his little sister. I'm sorry. This is probably NOT the place for this but I'm having a very hard time staying sane. Ken and I are depressed to a level I didn't even know existed. We're trying to support each other even when we're crumbling ourselves. I live every day wondering what I could have done different or better to save my babies. Thank you for reading this.
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a divorce! I loved the story of how the two of you met. So often we see people online and it seems like they have the most wonderful life. But we don't know what goes on when the camera goes off. I send my best wishes to all involved, and especially those beautiful children. 💜
I have an extremely hard one. We lost my step dad 1.5 years ago, which means im my 73 yrd mums next of kin as im the eldest. I've always told her that if she has an accident and needs blood, there's no way i would say no. In reality, i don't know what to do as it would be her last wish and going against her religion. She's a JW, whereas im not. I would love to know anyone else in this situation
These are important questions/answers. My husband and I totally understand each other's wishes. He knows that his family would not abide by his wishes, kind of like your mom. That's part of why we decided to get married, because then I have that power, not them, in the case of an emergency.
No one will do it for me, my dog can’t speak and no one else is there for me. Is there any way to have such will/wishes written somewhere is Case of such situation? What if someone does not have any family
A divorce is sometimes the best option. I believe a relationship is a success, until it’s not. All the good times aren’t erased by the ending. Sending you lots of strength and love!
My sister and I literally physically removed my moms oxygen when it was just us in the room. Thankfully she passed within moments. We made sure, put it back on, then pressed the call button. No regrets.
I'm sorry girly... you're such a sweet woman and I know you have your bad mean days also but still... I love you and I'm praying for you girl... SMILE !! or look at your babies... YOU made them lol 😉
My family know 1. I don't mind how my body is disposed, whatevers cheapest/easiest/environmentally friendliest. But ideally donated to science, I have told them all about body farms where they study decomposition in different settings to help date time of death in murder investigations. 2. Again, I don't mind. Wherever is easier for me to get care and for them with my body. 3. Yes. If anyone wants the organs, they can have them, and if science wants my body after they are welcome to it. 4. I don't want to be on life support in an extended coma, if there isn't an expectation of recovery, let me go. That being said I would also want my family and friends to be given the time they need to say goodbye before letting me go. If they need an extra month or two, I want them to have it. I kind of see my death more through the eyes of my loved ones. As long as I'm well medicated and not suffering, I'm happy to accommodate their needs as well when the time comes. As for a will, everything I have goes to the cats.
i told my wife,"if im on life support, turn it off.....then rurn it back on see if that helps"😂😂😂😂😂
😂
Ok IT.😂
😂😂😂
😂
Hilarious
I have a Tshirt that reads, "If I'm ever on life support, unplug me and plug me back in. See if that works." Sounds dark, but sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.
I just laughed out loud so hard at that!
Glad you felt comfortable to talk to your loved ones about these questions. Looks like your Mum is STILL in charge! 😂😂❤
You got to just love her
My Daughter said she would pull the plug if I had a splinter.😂😂😂😂 I love that girl.
You are getting divorced??? I am so sorry to hear that! I read your book and I loved how you two met and fell in love. 💔😭 Wishing you all the best!
Yeah that actually hurt to hear.
Me too. That's the first thing I thought. I don't know her but I've read her book and watched her videos and it makes me sad for anyone going through a divorce especially with a child.
Me too! WTF! Good God, I hate hearing that!
I hope she isn't getting divorced. Hearing the book on audible made me cry buckets 😩
I hope she addresses this.. was it, for example..or is it real?
“I AM calling dad now” 😂😂
Good one! 😂
Lentil1 and call she did! Lol 😂 I love when she told him to "turn it off when Mom's not looking" 👌🏻🫣👍🏽
I'm on my own, 55, with care support. I have things I do and don't want, so I have a nice notebook, with everything I want at the end of my life, even down to who isn't to know about my passing. It's called my "Just Incase" book.
My beloved wife passed at the VNA hospice in Valparaiso, Indiana, on June 2, 2021. I have nothing but the highest respect for hospice nurses. I was left utterly angry and embittered at the incompetence of her previous experiences at the hands of doctors at hospitals and nursing homes. Only the hospice nurses redeemed any trace of faith in humanity. Thank you.
I am also from Valpo and I'm so sorry to hear about your wife and her negative experience. I'm so glad, in the end, she was given compassion and respect during her final days. 🥰
I didn’t know you were going through a divorce Hadley. I’m so sorry! You are so very loved by so many & have an amazing community to reach out to for support if you need anything! (Not assuming it was his choice or yours but I’m sure either way it would be difficult. I’ve never had an easy breakup & I’ve never even been married yet.) also, thank you so much for highlighting topics like this and for sharing sweet stories of your patients. You have changed so many lives and done so much good for the world ❤️
Not only is it important they know the answer, it's important they follow it through!! Thanks for showing us what it looks like when the person you chose isn't capable of handling the responsibility, very rarely is it out of malice that they deny your wishes but it's important that you get what you asked for
Thank you Hadley. You just prompted a conversation between my mum and I. She knew the answers to the questions and i knew hers. We have promised each other what we want when it comes to life support. I said don't give up on me easily of course, but if the essence of Tracie has gone then let the rest of me go.
Hadley, I wanted to say thank you so much for your book. It changed my life. I have been a caregiver for 21 years and have never furthered my career until reading your book. I signed up for nursing school. I start in august and i am going to go into hospice when i complete it! I have never been more certain of anything in my life. I never would have had the lightbulb go on if it wasnt for reading your book. You changed my life in more ways than you can ever know. Thank you. ❤
That is so great! Being a nurse is often a thankless but rewarding profession. It is not everyone's calling, but when you know in your heart that it's what you want to do, your patients will reap the benefits of your care. Wishing you the best of luck!
So sorry to hear that you are going through a divorce.
You have taught me so much and I hope you continue to do the wonderful work of helping folks say goodbye.
God bless. 🙏🏼
I totally understand your mom. I can’t imagine giving up on my kids. 💔
Mom, sometimes it's necessary. It hurts for the rest of your days but if it needs to be done, it needs to be done. I pray you never have to deal with that.
Thank you so much for all your videos. My Dad has been declining over the last couple of years and when he started sleeping all the time in the last 6 months, I kinda knew what was coming. 2 weeks ago, he was still walking himself to the bathroom. Then, overnight, started throwing up and couldn't get up the next morning. A quick 911 call and he was at the hospital. They turfed him to a rehab facility after 5 days, but, he wasn't getting better. When he started not eating, then visioning, I knew. That night, the rehab place sent him back to the hospital. He had the terminal secretions then. He died that afternoon with my brother and I holding his hands. It was peaceful and easy. I really think it helped me come to terms faster as I could see it coming from the knowledge I picked up from yours and Nurse Julie's videos. So, thank you.
(and very sorry to hear about your divorce. from your book, it seemed like such a good relationship)
Thank you for sharing this with us . I am going to ask my husband and my children these same questions, but not in front of each other. Great video to get us all thinking.👍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Hadley you are an amazing woman and you are getting more beautiful by the day! You have found your calling and help so many people with your videos. Bless you. Wishing you strength and courage as you go through your divorce ❤❤❤
Wow so very very sorry about divorce 😢
Hey Hadly, my name is Lillian. I got your book a few days ago, and it made me cry, especially Carl it has changed my perspective on death and how it is a normal part of someone's life. Thank you. ❤❤❤❤
I am praying for you girl!
Hooray for mom! Some guy is going to be very lucky to land you! ❤❤❤
Oh definitely, especially after dealing with several sudden and unexpected deaths of family members! Our state has forms for those questions at least. I knew what my husband wanted and my mom has talked about it so we know for her. I've even had the "discussion" with my adult children and my sister. We recently set up policies for our after death needs with a funeral home and we can do payments for now. You need to plan ahead!
We need to make these conversations commonplace, they are so necessary ❤ Bless you, Nurse Hadley ❤
Oh my goodness😢 I did not know that you were going through a Divorce????I am so sorry 💜
Great video! Lovely humorous way to remind us of some very important stuff.
I had to laugh because I would have given you the same answer as your momma!!! I love her!!!!
DNR is also a thing. I found Five Wishes quite helpful as a resource even though I am not a U.S. citizen and one is not allowed to appoint a healthcare proxy in my country.
I borrowed your book from the library and couldn’t get through it all because I had cleansing cries after each story and my renewals ran out. It was so good!!! I’m going to borrow it again, once everyone else has read it, it’s very popular at my library.
I know this is none of my business. But I read Nurse Hadley’s book, The In-Between, and it had a profound impact on me and my understanding of what my parents went through when they went through hospice at home before they died. By the time I got to the chapter called Babette, I had to put the book down because I had tears and snot running down my face. By that time in the book, I felt like I knew her family so well that I was just not in an emotional space to be able to read what I knew was coming next. I finally did, of course because I finished the book, but my point is, in reading the book I felt like I got to know, her and Chris’s family, Chris’s parents. I saw in the video she said she was getting a divorce, or is divorced. A part of me hopes it doesn’t means she is divorcing Chris. But, like I said, I know that it is not my business, but I feel sad about it. I don’t get online enough to keep up with every video she posts, so maybe she has addressed this before. I hope she just mentioned the divorce just as an example for the video, as in, if you get divorced, make sure those closest to you know what your wishes are.
By the way, I highly recommend her book. It feels like I haven’t read a book since the Harry Potter books. I just got tired of reading. My eyes have changed and I just don’t feel like I have the mental energy to read very much outside of work. I got my love of reading back reading this book. It is so well written, and so engaging and lovely and such an easy read, I got done with it in a weekend and enjoyed it so much!
How much did she pay you to right that crap lol
They are in the process of divorcing.
I knew all the answers for my Mom, even more so then my Dad did.
Very hard decisions to make, but it is important to follow their wishes!
Get your final wishes down in writing AND notorized! What if these ppl you're counting on are also incapacitated? In stressful times our emotions often do override! Look at how we pay ridiculous $ on fancy coffins..only to turn around and bury it in the ground! Does anyone think that will make a diff to the departed? Will your friends like u more bcz u splurged?
Get it all down and be specific! It will be your last chance to make sure your final wishes get done!
My MIL did have her wishes written up with a lawyer and notarized. Noone cared. They asked my FIL what he wanted to do. It really is up to the family. If you are incapacitated the medical staff may not even know you have a Health Directive. Same for your organs. It is up to the family and your wishes are not legally bound by a donor card or marking that box on your license at all but even if your wishes are filed in a court somewhere unless someone gives it to the hospital then they may not even be aware. Your family ends up with the responsibility in the end. If the hospital is aware family can still have the last say. There is precedence in the courts for that already. Usually a Health Directive also has to name an agent for your Healthcare in case you are incapacitated. In that case that person,usually a family member, has every legal right to go against any previous wishes from the incapacitated person. Basically your final wishes are not legally binding over the person you named in the health directive once you are incapacitated.
This is so important! We don't think about preparing, but it can happen at any age. This should also be written down somewhere. Side note: I also love your Mom's response, but it's definitely good you called your Dad. ❤
I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a difficult time/situation. But you are absolutely strong and deserve the world. We love you. And I wish for you to have peace in your life.
Thank you for this post. I knew I wanted to ask these questions but didn't know how to ask them. You are such a boon to me with all your hospice stories and how caring you are. Not to mention that sweet, soothing Southern accent. 🥰 Even with going through a divorce you take the time to help others. May happiness shine on in your life. Hugs.
I've had this conversation with all my family- if I'm gone, I'm gone, shut it down, and don't you dare stick me in a box, scatter me off the coast of Hawaii cuz that's probably the only chance I'll get to go there lol
I have long said that if I'm terminally ill, but am still ambulatory, I will go off into the wilderness and live out my days enjoying the splendor of the natural world. Then, when I shed this mortal coil, the wildlife can eat me.
And, if I die suddenly, like in a car accident or something, I want everything donated, either for transplant or for science.
I understand mom’s attitude. Very difficult to give up on a loved one even if that loved one wants that. I think mom is saying, “You should name someone else as your health care proxy because I don’t know if I would be able to let you go”
Thank you for sharing and being open. Praying for a healthy coparenting family for the needs of your children. God Bless!
My parents were both transplant organ recipients. My family knows my wishes, but I also have a written out living will made up through my lawyer. I have a child protection plan made up for short and long term situations with my exact wishes.
Happy Friday, Nurse Hadley!😊😊😊😊😊😎☀💙💙💙💙💙💙🌷💖💖💖💖💖💖🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇👍. This new video is fabulous!😍🎇👍
Ah a divorce!!! 😢 praying for you, your husband, children and family! All are getting a divorce 🥺
Oh no! I believe she just meant hypothetically if she were to get a divorce since her husband would be in charge of taking care of her wishes as she passes on, if she got divorced she would rely on those wishes to be met by family and since her son is a little boy, that would go to her mom. (I think her dad passed) But it would go to a parent or a sibling depending on who is alive by the time this comes up.
I don't believe she is actually getting divorced, after all she just called her husband in the car and they were laughing and talking comfortably.
She just wanted to see if her mom remembered the answer to these requests after the end, not that she would have to take care of it, Heaven forbid, but because it is good for family members to know just in case.
Like writing a will, not that it's going to be needed any time soon, but it's good to take care of things we'll do before they happen.
We all love Hadley, don't worry! 😊❤
@Lizzye33 no, she really got a divorce, she announced it last video. Sorry you missed it
@@Bellllllz 😮😨What!? I definitely missed that one!!! I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope it was on good terms.😥
@Lizzye33 i know, so sad! Also that person she called and talked to in the car after she talked to her mom was her dad, not her now ex husband.
Important and much needed conversations! Thanks for sharing ❤
Nice to see that smile, even for just a moment. I hope you aren't THAT great an actress and at least a little of it is real, cuz you deserve happy. ❤
I've always said if I'm on life support to leave it on for 6 months and if there's no improvement to unplug it and let me go. I had a brain aneurysm in 1997 and survived that and just feel like if there is no brain activity and no improvement in 6 months that I would be ready to leave and go see my heavenly home. ❤❤ Love your account and we are all so lucky to have found you. ❤❤ May God always bless you in all you do 🙏🙏🙏
I lost my grandma April 2024 and before she passed I’ve been watching you for I don’t know how long but and my dad and I never told him this, but I can feel my grandma side of me and as I’ve been watching your videos and skits sad
Thank you for sharing! It's so nice to your videos. It's so comforting and normalizing. I Appreciate it.
My father passed in 2022. After we watched both my mother and step-mother die in facilities in 2014, he made it known that he was going to die at home, NOT in a facility. When signs started suggesting the end was getting near, he reminded me of his preference, and I made sure no one sent for EMS, etc (since I was the one responsible for all the 'hard' things in our family - funerals and such). It was one of the hardest things I'd ever done.
My mum and I sometimes just start talking about this, it's been an ongoing subject since my grandpa's death over ten years ago. For me it's especially important as I'm chronically ill and the illness is pretty unpredictable and I want my wishes known in case something happens.
I don't know how it is in the US but here in Germany it's expected that people write everything concerning their end of life care down and often the hospital is handed a copy to be put on file.
You also need to know whether Advance Directives are legally binding or are merely suggestions. It varies by jurisdiction. Where I live, if I am unable to express.
my wishes, my Substitute Decision Maker has to instruct the doctors, because our doctors won't "take orders from a piece of paper." So choose you SDA carefully. And have the hard conversation with them. Also, they should be your age if you're young or 15 years younger than you if you're middle aged or older. You don't want to outlive your SDA.
When I am very sick and dieing heck as long as I am confortable I dont care , then after I am dead my Soul has left this body I don't care what's done with it . ❤
I love that your mom was completely honest & that you guys are able to laugh about it. Honestly fair enough, I bet a lot of parents couldn't bring themselves to make that call even though it's not really their call to make when they know their child's wishes
My dad-who had wonderful Hospice care at home for his last 3 months-always told us this. “If there’s no hope and you don’t turn off the machines…when I finally do die, I’ll come back and haunt your a**! “ He died peacefully at home and there’s no haunting!
My parents, sister, and I had this talk when us kids were in junior high/middle school. Our parents had serious health is l issues, so it was prudent to plan ahead. Thankfully we were adults when they passed away, within a year of eachother. When it came time to finalize their final wishes, my sister and I agreed on everything. Which was a first!
I'm sorry about your divorce.
She's such a mom❤
I loved the end! I was my dad’s medical power of attorney because, in an emergency he didn’t have one & I was the only family member to step up. He was in and out of the hospital then a hospice facility for five months. The best part for me is his hospital & hospice only allowed me to speak to the medical team- so I got everything first hand & all my questions answered. Kept me from feeling helpless during his illness
I’m sorry to hear you’re divorcing. You two seemed like such a great couple.
I stumbled into your contwnt again and was very glad it came up. I tried togo back and watchsome of your older videos and so many are gone. I feel crazy, i wanted to hste some kf them but theyre just gone
Thanks!!
My husband knows he is to take extreme measures and never give up until my body is full of rigor-mortis. Brain dead? I can come back from that.
Dead dead? That too!! It happens 😊
Hadley, Im wondering if you might share why youd prefer burial..totally understand if thats too personal. Love your channel.❤
You are an incredible woman, I have watched and shared your video’s. Best always, I am sorry to learn of your divorce. SO his loss.
Love this video, your father is so cool, but I understand how your mom must feel..... 🙂
My family knows my wishes from cremation to organ donation to the nacho cheese fountain at my memorial service!
Your mom is funny
Your mama is so funny❤😂
😂 Your mums hilarious
Oh Hadley, I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce. It's so hard on you both and your kiddos. If I'm ever on life support I'm already a DNR and explicit directions to shut it off and let me go in peace. I would like to know I have the dignity left to make my choice. As did my kids. I feel like I have to share this; Not just for myself but for other parents who may find themselves in this place. I DID have to stop life support on my youngest daughter. It was the hardest most emotionally devastating thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. However, it was the right thing to do. It really was the only thing to do. Caitlin was only 32. She had been with "friends" who drugged her and themselves up and then fed enough alcohol on top of it to kill a small country. We were NOT home when these "people" dropped her off at our house INSTEAD of the hospital a literal mile from our home. She began having seizures a couple of hours later and stopped breathing. She had vomited while on her back and inhaled almost all of it, destroying her lungs. We didn't know what had happened; her fiancé simply thought her breathing stopped. He called for my husband and I and I started CPR immediately. I kept that up for over 20 minutes until the sheriff and EMS arrived, in that order. As I was doing the CPR I checked for both pulse and breathing and checked her eyes. I KNEW right then, she was gone, but I kept going anyway. Doing all that stuff calling for her to come back The sheriff took over for me and attached the AED and shocked her twice when EMS arrived. We are now about an hour in. After EMS arrived, they continued working on her for about half an hour to try to stabilize her for the short ride to Soldiers and Sailors Hospital but eventually took her with a paramedic on the gurney doing chest compressions while they were loading her. At the hospital, the ER staff worked for another 2 1/2 hours before the doctor came out explained they had gotten her heart to start but it only lasted about 15 minutes and she coded again. It had been over 2 hours of nurses and doctors literally doing manual compression on her, intubating her, shocking the heart, ANYTHING that might bring her back. Then they had to ask me if I wanted them to stop. BOTH my ex-husband, Caitlin's father and Ken, her "Dad' as she chose to call him, left me to make the decision alone, and I told them to stop. I could not put her through anymore. The length of time her brain had been without oxygen meant catastrophic brain damage if she did survive and that would have been so unfair to her. It was only after the autopsy that we all learned the amount of fluid in her lungs was not survivable. It's called Terminal Asphyxiation. She was my baby girl. She was smart and funny and sarcastic and beautiful, and I miss her so much. Now, the story didn't end here though. 9 1/2 months later, on November 16, 2023, my only son, Jeremy, hung himself in our house, in the room directly above the room Caitlin died in. My husband Ken found him and had to cut him down and I did the whole CPR thing AGAIN until the Sheriff and EMS arrived. Again, it was 15-20 minutes. And again, when I did all the checks that training drills into you, when I checked his eyes, they were fixed and dilated, no pulse, no breathing, tongue swollen and becoming cold on his peripherals. And I knew... The coroner was called in and he pronounced Jeremy. He killed himself because he could not live with the belief he had let Cait down, that he could have saved her. Both Ken and I live with that every day ourselves except now, it's for both of them. He was so funny and smart and handsome. He was a true artist in every sense; music, painting, sculpting, he was such a beautiful and gentle soul, just like his little sister.
I'm sorry. This is probably NOT the place for this but I'm having a very hard time staying sane. Ken and I are depressed to a level I didn't even know existed. We're trying to support each other even when we're crumbling ourselves. I live every day wondering what I could have done different or better to save my babies.
Thank you for reading this.
lol this made me laugh so much
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a divorce! I loved the story of how the two of you met. So often we see people online and it seems like they have the most wonderful life. But we don't know what goes on when the camera goes off. I send my best wishes to all involved, and especially those beautiful children. 💜
I have an extremely hard one. We lost my step dad 1.5 years ago, which means im my 73 yrd mums next of kin as im the eldest.
I've always told her that if she has an accident and needs blood, there's no way i would say no.
In reality, i don't know what to do as it would be her last wish and going against her religion. She's a JW, whereas im not.
I would love to know anyone else in this situation
Same here. My mom's also JW. If I have the opportunity to make any kind of decision like that, no one needs to know her religion.
1:02 She’s your momma, and she’s retaining her right as momma, “I brought you into the world…” 😂😂😂
Love your mom🤍
My wishes are in writing in my trust.
That is exactly what my mom would say!
These are important questions/answers. My husband and I totally understand each other's wishes. He knows that his family would not abide by his wishes, kind of like your mom. That's part of why we decided to get married, because then I have that power, not them, in the case of an emergency.
😂😂 I font think I could do it either 😮😂
Hey u are doing fine
U should pray more often
Prayers will build up your positive vibes😁
❤ your mom
I couldn't do it either
I get mommas hope that something could change on the other hand I get what you want
I feel the same as your mom honestly
That’s exactly why I didn’t put my mom on my POAHC.
You would let someone suffer 💔 Psychopath 😬
So sorry abt the divorce praying for you❤❤
No one will do it for me, my dog can’t speak and no one else is there for me. Is there any way to have such will/wishes written somewhere is Case of such situation? What if someone does not have any family
Arrange your burial now and leave want you want to be done notarized with a lawyer?
Womp womp
A divorce is sometimes the best option. I believe a relationship is a success, until it’s not. All the good times aren’t erased by the ending. Sending you lots of strength and love!
My family all already know, I’m to be composted, and then used to plant a moon garden. I have a DNR on file.
My sister and I literally physically removed my moms oxygen when it was just us in the room. Thankfully she passed within moments. We made sure, put it back on, then pressed the call button. No regrets.
Good job! Dad, yeah I’ll yank the plug when your mom isn’t looking!😂
What lipstick are you wearing? I love the color.
Your sweet mama 😅
I wouldn't want to go off life support for extensive brain damage. Too many people have eventually recovered, and neuroscience is exploding right now.
Your parents are a hoot and a holler. 😀😀
I didn’t hear a word past “I’m divorced now”
Mom’s being mom😂🤭🫣 Dad Will reason with her…maybe by saying if it were you Mom n in that situation?
The arentsare botho point lol. Moms gona moms, das gonna dad
lol I love your moms response! ❤
Moms are impossible!😂
I'm sorry girly... you're such a sweet woman and I know you have your bad mean days also but still... I love you and I'm praying for you girl... SMILE !! or look at your babies... YOU made them lol 😉
My family know
1. I don't mind how my body is disposed, whatevers cheapest/easiest/environmentally friendliest. But ideally donated to science, I have told them all about body farms where they study decomposition in different settings to help date time of death in murder investigations.
2. Again, I don't mind. Wherever is easier for me to get care and for them with my body.
3. Yes. If anyone wants the organs, they can have them, and if science wants my body after they are welcome to it.
4. I don't want to be on life support in an extended coma, if there isn't an expectation of recovery, let me go. That being said I would also want my family and friends to be given the time they need to say goodbye before letting me go. If they need an extra month or two, I want them to have it.
I kind of see my death more through the eyes of my loved ones. As long as I'm well medicated and not suffering, I'm happy to accommodate their needs as well when the time comes.
As for a will, everything I have goes to the cats.
I'm sorry about the divorce 😔
I had no idea 😢I'm so sorry ❤
When I had to sign a DNR for my dad ….. it broke me ……