The ugliest wake-up call
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- čas přidán 12. 05. 2023
- As we end nurses week and begin Mother’s Day, I think this is a great reminder. I’m proud to be both a nurse and mom ♥️
To preorder my book and read twelve patient stories whose experiences and lessons will change your life: nursehadley.com/book
That breaks my heart. Don't feel bad for being human. We all complain about our house or bills or any number of things. Thank you for what you do for the dying and their families ❤
Well said!
I’m a pediatric hospice nurse. It still breaks my heart. You’re feelings are valid.
That feels like a niche field in an already niche field? Do you work in a city with a large population?
Im applying to hospice RN jobs and would honestly prefer peds. I’ve only found hospices that do all (mostly geriatric ofc).
We didn't get to have hospice for my husband who passed away in hospital from non-hotchkins lymphoma before he could get the bone marrow transplant that was waiting for him in Boston(his brother was a perfect match). He passed at 43 years young about a month and a half after our son turned 4 yrs old. My husband believed in not sweating the small stuff, and live life and have adventure. He taught me that setting the breakfast table the night before was a good thing. That once we were home from work it was family time. We had pizza, wings and antipasto salad and a movie(from the local video store) every Friday night. We loved a lifetimes worth of 6 3/4 yrs married, 7 3/4 knowing each other. Love and live everyday to the fullest. Tell people you love, you love them as often as you want, even over the phone when you are at work. Don't waste time is "wish land". The grass is not greener on the other side.
In closing, want to say, that everyday you go to work and do your job, you are more than a hospice nurse, you are an ANGEL. Do not beat yourself up for being human, getting caught up in our own expectations, or others expectations. Everyday you kiss your children and husband and tell them that you love them. That's it, that's what it is all about, you get that already. The rest will always be there, enjoy the best part, the chores done or undone or partially done are not as important as the love part. God bless you and be proud of being who you are, an amazing person, who everyday shows your family love, compassion, empathy, sensitivity to the people in your care and their loved ones.
Absolutely nothing wrong with showing that you're a human with a big heart Nurse Hadley. Some things in this world just don't seem right and it's only natural to be sad and ever so grateful for the little miracles in your own family when you've just had to provide care to a child with a terminal diagnosis. Keep doing you Nurse Hadley, love your content and your heart.
I know Hospice work is very rewarding and I could even see myself going the hospice route if I was a nurse but The Hospice Nurses that take care of children are extra special angels here on earth helping them. I would totally break mentally, spiritually and physically if I had to take care of a child and help them. I just couldn't do it.
Go home and hug your children and who cares if you have toys everywhere. As parents we only have them such a small amount of time.
I am usually the go to nurse for babies on our hospice team. It’s the 20 year olds that get me…my kids are in their 20’s. It’s not all easy all the time😢people don’t see how sad it is because you do such a good job showing how positive and beautiful our work is. But we sure do cry too.
The hardest ones are the ones you can relate to. Thank you for all the work you do with the smallest hospice patients. I am not a nurse, but I have been a caregiver for multiple humans and animals close to me. The emotional work is heavy.
I’m not a hospice nurse. Sometimes I think I could do it, and other times I don’t. I’ve seldom felt grief over patients who have passed, because usually in my area it’s an end to suffering. What breaks my heart are the families left behind. And yes, young adults. People just on the verge of living their own lives.
I have to tell you, I worked at a senior living home for 2 years in nutrition. All I did was offer them food and make sure they didn’t chock. And it was still the most fulfilling job of my life. Watching the elderly cope with end of life is be thing… but to watch a little do it…. 💚🖤 Bless you. We need everyone to be more like you.
oh Hadley *hugs* We lost my brother to Brain Cancer at 8 yrs old, I was just 9 going to be 10 in 3 months when he died. Watching my Mom and Dad work through that plus being there at home when he passed I still can not even come close to imagining what tose parents are suffering. You and your coworkers are in my prayers daily.
Sweet, sweet lady 🤗🤗🤗 There was and is nothing wrong with saying the truth of toys being scattered everywhere stresses you out. Saying that does not equal meaning you do not love and enjoy your children. AT ALL. It means exactly what you said and that is not bad in any way. Experiencing that precious child going through their journey of everything it is to be on hospice correctly helped you recognize anew the incredible blessing having children is. Which, you already do.
Sending you hugs and care!
I love you Sooo much! I lost my mom last year & 1 hospice nurse literally said what i needed to hear to get me through that! She was young & blessed with your compassion. God Bless you!
Nurse Hadley, I'm going to nursing school in the fall and I want to be a hospice nurse. Thank you for all you do.
Hadley, you're not a bad momma at all. You are doing what's right not only for families like that one that had the child in hospice, but for your own family as well. You work so hard and you're too hard on yourself
Nurse Hadley, thank you for all you do. May God bless you & all those you love.
Love your vids but I’m so sorry about the patient 😢
Sending you a gentle hug. Love is everywhere and sometimes it looks "messy". Really appreciate your videos. Thank you.
Hugs to you Hadley, I am home health nurse, I totally respect what you do as a hospice nurse. I don't know if I could work in hospice, thank you for all you do.
So sweet. So sad. All the love to them and you❤
Sweetie, one of the things that makes you so WONDERFUL is that you ARE human and vulnerable. You are a GREAT Mom, Wife, Daughter, Friend, Employee, Hospice Nurse and Child of a Merciful God. Hugs🤗🙏🏻❤️
And here I am sick and sitting in my living room thats a mess from my kiddos with tears rolling down my face. I know everyone always tells us oh you'll miss this eventually but no one can prepare you for that kind of missing.
That so true my grandson who I raised played everyday with hot wheels big truck and my living room was always toys but in a good way THEN cancer hit him at 11 he made it through that one then it came back at 17 he passed Nov 30 2021 on hosparus. Always know a mess is a healthy kid cause one day I might not have them to make a mess much love to all who read this.
My heart goes out to the family and child, also to you as well! We are all human and far too often we forget to live in the moment because the next isn’t promised. The mess isn’t important, even if guest dropped by, yeah it’s stressful, but it’s a home that’s lived in and love and memories are made. Sending lots of love to you and all the mommas today.
You are only human and sometimes we need to see our life in the proper perspective.
I was around 13 yrs old and I felt the betrayal of a supposed friend was the worst thing in the world. My life had to be over. My Pop pop took me to the VA hospital where he did volunteer work, men medically back from Vietnam, very bad shape, holding the hand of a man who thought I was his daughter, and watching as a man I had made smile earlier with a silly dance had a sheet pulled over his head. My pop pop said remember no matter what is going on in your life there is always someone doing or has done worse.
Oh Hadley……I have no words. Just sorrow. And some moments just need to be honored because of that sorrow. My prayers to you, my prayers to give you strength & even more so for the child. ❤❤❤❤
I'm a caregiver for one woman, my mom. She's 91 and very frail.
They don't pay you enough...
Nurse Hadley the expression in your eyes 😨 you seem so shaken! Thank you for sharing that moment with us and allowing us in turn to stay present for our own shock or shame.
Thank you for sharing this.
We never know until we know. You bring such wonderful support to so many and now you know even more than you did in the morning.
I find it so moving to see you sit with that and invite us to sit with you for a sec
You are a blessing to your patients and their families.
I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day 😊
I praise God for creating people like you! And I asked the Lord to place ads of protection around your heart and soul if you are acting out as a literal angel on this Earth. Today selfishly I thought if I were to become terminal what a blessing it would be seriously an honor to have you as my nurse. Thank you so much for taking being an influencer to Heart. Thank you for being raw thank you for being you❤
Thank you so much Kelli! That means the world to me!
My whole life I have wanted to go into medical... and now I'm older and I really want to go into music... it's my passion... but my mother tells me I would be such a good nurse since I have spent so much time in hospitals with my health issues... but if I do go into medical... I would want to work on hospice... since I spent so much time in hospitals growing up... I have noticed all of them have the same smell in certain areas of them... and it gives me anxiety and I start to panic... so I think being a hospice nurse would open my mind to things I never thought of... and you helped me realize that... so thank you for helping me realize I don't have to work in a hospital while having a panic attack everyday but still able to work in medicine
We never know what tomorrow holds, but we do know who holds tomorrow...Jesus! My heart & prayers go out to that little girl & her family! Happy Mom's day nurse Hadley!
You have such a humble and loving heart ❤️ We all get caught up from time to time, fussing over little things, because we're human. You woke right up again, to what really matters {hugs!}
It takes a special person with a deep well strength, and to do the job you’ve chosen is your profession. Thank you for doing what others cannot, I am being part of the special group that can
Everytime I see a “Make A Wish”, or “Give Kids The World” button on a child it breaks my heart. I like telling tourist “I'll see you next year!”. But I make sure I don't say that to those families... they might not have a next year.
It's one thing to live a long full life, and have it end. It's all together another thing to see a child at the very beginning of their life's journey to have it end, before they have a chance to really live. No first: kiss, date, prom, graduation, apartment, wedding, children of their own, grandchildren. That is heartbreaking for anyone to see, much less go through.
The fact that you can go into people's homes, and lives, and help them in their death journey is amazing to most of us. That you do it repeatedly is amazing. That it affects you, is not surprising at all. You are a good person, and a good nurse, may God protect you, and your heart. ❤️🩹 I'm sure it has a tiny crack in it for each of your patience.
Now go hug your children, and say a prayer of gratitude for them.
👵☮️🖖
Nurse Hadley. I hope when my time comes,I have a nurse as caring as you. You love the people that you help and I believe even in the end stage they feel that love.
Hugs sweetie 😢 bless you for all you do. Prayers for the family of tht little girl♥️🙏🏻
Thank you for the perspective! We all need it sometimes.
Yes, working in a hospital for 25 years I learned quickly that "tomorrow is promised to no one". I began hugging my children more and telling them "I love you and be safe" early on as a parent. Carry On Madam. Thanks for this video.
It’s human and you have a huge heart, taking care of the dying and their loved ones with grace, kindness and love. Thank you for reminding us all we need to remember our blessing and give ourselves grace when we aren’t superheroes!
Don't beat yourself up, you have a hard job that makes you face death every day
You are such a BEAUTIFUL person/spirit/lady! God made you special! You have a light inside you! Don't ever let it fade! Lord be with you & yours, always! Thank you for sharing your story & for helping to keep memories of your patients alive!
I want to buy your book for my Mom because she was a hospice nurse & loved it! Her patients loved her so much that she won a special award for being an outstanding nurse. This was very special to my Mom because she didn't start her career until later in life when she was about 50 years old & suffered a knee injury about 10 years later & had to stop doing the job that she so deeply loved. I know your book & videos will touch her heart!
My Mom cried every time one of her patients died. It's so sad how so many dying people don't have loved ones willing or able to care for them. It must be so heartbreaking & lonely being in that position, as a helpless dying person. You nurses truly are angels from heaven to them!
My mother's work taught that one of the greatest gifts we can give a person is the gift of a peaceful death -- to help a person to feel seen, valued, understood, loved, comfortable & mentally & spiritually at peace, as they pass from this world to the next. So many people do not understand that death is a process -- not a moment in time -- and that it takes about 8-10m of oxygen deprivation for brain cells to begin to die, after the heart stops beating. A dying person can often feel, hear, perceive what is going on around them at the end, even after they lose the ability to respond. I hope & pray that people learn to be mindful of that & to create an atmosphere of peace & comfort in the time that follows the official time of death, to ensure that the person has lost all awareness & has passed away with dignity, peace, respect, and the hope of what may come, knowing that they are loved! 🥲
A funny story to end on that might make you wonder...
My Mom wasn't supposed to accept gifts from her patients but sometimes a patient would give her a gift from the heart that meant something to them because of the time they shared together.
One night, I had a dream that I was shopping with my mother & an old lady was following us around. The lady kept trying to get my Mom to look at a funny doll that was on a shelf without it's clothes on, but my Mom kept ignoring it.
Finally, I said, "Mom! Mom! Come here! Come look at this!"
I thought it was kind of an odd thing to dream about, so I told my mom about it at some point when we were talking on the phone.
My Mom instantly laughed & said, "Oooh, that's so & so..." (I forgot the lady's name) She told me that the old woman in my dream was one of her patients, who had given her a special doll to thank her for caring for her at the end of her life & that the clothes being off the doll was significant because of a funny joke they shared. 😆
I couldn't believe it! I had no way of knowing that! And it's funny that my Mom knew exactly who it was!
I had several dreams like that about my mother's patients after they died. I didn't know the people, she hadn't told me about them, but my Mom always knew which one of her patients happened to appear in one of my dreams.
Former Pediatric Hospice Music Therapist here. I served this role before becoming a mom so I'm sure being a parent adds an extra emotional layer to it. What helped me recognize the treasure of each moment they lived, versus dwelling over the loss of what could be, was the memory of a close friend of mine. She and I met as kids and lost touch, until we reconnected again in our 20s. She was in hospice as a child due to a hole in her heart and she had been expected to live a few, short days. At her first hurt surgery, I got so worried. She returned safely, telling me not to be afraid. The second time she went for routine heart surgery, I had been convinced not to worry. She died at 26 years in recovery from that surgery. While it broke my heart (which I never truly got over it- just passed it), her loss gave me the perspective to feel blessed for every second of life and for second chances. It was such an honor to see a renewed sense of hope and peace working with the pediatric hospice staff and families who showed the deepest love, support, and quality care I have ever seen in my life. ❤
Yes please - we all need to vent/ destress!!
And yes, sometimes we need little (or big impactful) reminders…
Just my POV:
Be grateful that you get to/can complain about work.
I am very lucky. I was able to work in healthcare and like for you it is/ was my calling.
There are many people who never get this feeling/ still have to work and not ever get to feel like you are exactly where you should be (which feels amazing/ feels like my very own beam of light recharging my soul…) 🥰😃
You are such a strong, sweet person. I want to be more like you.
Oh Hadley your book was so amazing I also did a review on Amazon . Now I love you even more 🌻🌻🌻
Thank you! I was an activity director and then Helped "hospice" one of my favorite people so that she could go and live with her family instead of staying in the nursing home. I love your videos!!!!!
I hope that family found peace after that difficult time.
Welcome to being a parent. It happens. Much love to the family.
As a mother this breaks my heart. I can’t imagine my son without me in this world but imagine myself without him 🥺😭
That is so sad. I pray for that little girl.
My son passed at 37 of a brain tumor. We did the hospice at home. I had done it before with my mother. Always harder with someone young. So grateful for the hospice nurses. Thanks!
Sometimes it is difficult to be thankful for what you have, or what you can acomplish. It has been one year and one day since my wife left home for the last time. Now I have a countdown in my head of when she went on hospice at her sister's and died less than 48 hours later. Thank you for these videos.
Big Hugs for you!!
Thanks for all you do!
The universe helps us see our world through a different lens just when we need it-thank you for sharing so I can do this to.
Your videos help give me the perspective to focus on the truly important things - thank you for all you do for us and the people you visit!
Thank you for sharing.
Sending love to you Hadley! Your job is so difficult
Your compassion that you are sharing with all of us is touching our hearts also!! There are many out there that are heartless, cruel and clueless to a sensitive and tender world, and do not care to change!!
Thank you for who you are and sharing how ELOHYM is working in your life, we so appreciate it!!!!
Blessings in abundance!!!!
Sending you a big hug. You are an angel!! ❤
Self-awareness is a great trait but please go easy on yourself. You do an amazing job and are a wonderfully kind woman. Your videos have helped me look at death (and trauma from losing loved ones) in a different way.❤
God Bless your beautiful soul.
I hope you realize what a blessing you are to those your path crosses with. ❤ All I see is love and beauty surrounding you and those you care for. Stay strong and willing to post, even the difficult videos.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I work in a Children’s Hospital. I fully understand 😢 Children put life into perspective!
You're such a sweet soul, everyone is human and has feelings. I bet that family felt better knowing that someone with a big heart was caring for their child
You are so sweet to see the positive side of it and the things to be grateful for
I just ordered your book. Thank you for sharing these poignant stories. Hospice was wonderful for each of my parents.
I’m glad to see nurses like you still have a heart & will still cry over patients. Children are the hardest to see 😢
You're such a sweetheart. 🤗
Hugs, girl..I was a Hospice nurse for a while, but it was too emotionally difficult for me, I had to go. God bless those who do this sacred work 🙏
Oh honey, you know it is just a nudge from a Higher Power to remind you to take a breath. We are all human... Sending you love & hugs from Florida
Sometimes God let's us see things that we don't know what a beautiful blessing they really are. Thank You for what you do. Babe you are a loving mother and I know that these situations really pull at your heart ❤️ string's. God Bless you 🙏✝️❤⚕️
Please hold on to your compassion you are a beautiful soul.❤
Thank you for being there for that family, and what you do everyday. We went though end of life care with our first Son, our Nurse was amazing, our Son was her last pediatric patient before she switched to senior care
It's moments like these that make me disagree with your statement that pre-sales will determine the success of your book.
The book is already a success because you are.
You are a success because you tell the truth, and people need that.
Love and respect to you and your colleagues
Nurse Hadley I love your videos and you are the type I would hope to have around me when it’s my time. Know that you are loved by us also
You have such a beautiful heart ❤️
My God bless all of you
Most painful one hug them babys ❤
Crying the big "ugly crying" with this video. That is every parent's nightmare and fear.
When my husband was dying from GBM, we asked "Lord, how could anything be worse?" The very next day, we saw a tiny patient (a young child far gone in the battle with a cancer) in a stroller, will all the tubes, monitors and bags.
We both looked at each other and broke down for that child and that child's family. It is so much worse,
I understand this completely. I was a respite care worker for terminally ill children. Hardest job i ever loved.
*hugs* ❤
So heartbreaking 💔
New sub here..😢it takes a special person to be in the hospice care..you seem like one of those special people ❤
I feel so bad now. We had our sons 12th bday yesterday with complaints about him cleaning today and how his brother has acted this week.
❤ count our blessings.
As a fellow nurse, in Australia, I say it's an issue when we stop feeling like this after a visit or contact. I have been nursing for 25 years and have always said that when I stop feeling compassion for my patients, it is time for me to retire. I am a far better person and nurse because I embrace my emotions and do not bury them. You can be professional and still feel. Keep doing what you are doing. The world needs compassion now, more than ever ❤️🩹
The nurse from hospice for my 7 year old son, it was her first time with a child. She was so sad looking after they took my son and we went back inside I looked out the window and she aas crying her eye balls out. It was hard for me when my son passed I had time to process but she didn't and I checked on her and sent her flowers. I hated she had to experience such sadness. My heart broke for her. I am forever grateful for her being there with me and my son.
We are all human and get frustrated at times. We are juggling work and home and its normal to feel stressed because we feel like the house needs to be perfect. It took me a long time to learn that its ok for me house to not be perfect. I used to work pediatrics and I also couldn’t wait to get home and love on my babies because I realized many parents will not have that opportunity for very long
heartbreaking. what you do is really, really hard. i couldn't do it. i would be crying all the time, and simply not functional. PLEASE cut yourself a little slack. you're emotionally stronger than 90% of us.
Please don’t beat yourself up. There were many times I would come home after 12 hours in the NICU to my kiddo. He was say “too tight Mommy” when I would hug him. Do you usually only care for adults?
This video somehow keeps popping up right when i need to hear it.
You definitely have your ticket to heaven.
Even Angels are human now & then...
Can you do a video or a short about the hydration aspect?
I was a paramedic and I ran a call where a father killed his son who was the exact same age as my daughter and all I wanted was to go home and hold my daughter. I had about 12 hours left of my shift but my ex husband unbeknownst to me had called my supervisor and told him I needed to be sent home that I needed to be with my daughter. The supervisor said he didn’t know if I could leave so my ex called his Battalion Chief who called my supervisor and said that my ex would be driving me home and we would both be sent home to be with our daughter. I didn’t know he did that until about 14-15 years ago when my daughter told me that he was the one that arranged for us to get home to her that night. My ex is an amazing father and a great man- I am lucky to have him in my life and my current husband agrees. We are a unique little family and I wouldn’t change a thing.
You know, research shows that the “little things” often are the most stressful in our lives (essentially because we know that in theory it should go right or be easy etc and something interferes with that)…. So “complaining” (aka stating a fact) isn’t wrong or disingenuous at all. Just part of reality. And you have a hard and beautiful job that makes you appreciate those things more. Nothing wrong or bad about any of that!! (If it stopped you doing your job to the best of your capacity, different situation, but it’s not.)
I too have learned to appreciate in ways that hurt at first, but … we’re human. Forgive yourself. You’ve come so far. You must admit you know you’re doing good works. It normal to grow like this. You been doing it since you arrived here. Remember when you were pregnant and how bad you felt about yourself back then? Nothing is true forevermore, just unbelieve it. ❤
A dose of reality is good for everybody.
I love your lashes!! ❤ Please tag the link!
That must be very hard for you.
Hi. I’m 65 in three days time. I’ve been in a lot of things, Ireland, Bombings, Death, Murder, etc, as a young child and adult. I realised at a really young age that I could be dead before I finished typing this or that someone I knew and loved could be dead again in a moment. I’ve tried sharing this message my entire life with my family, friends and loved ones. The saddest part is that nobody hears me. I’m very fortunate, after much wandering, sadness and depression I rediscovered Christ who had shown me his gift at age 14. Sadly I lost it but then refound it. But still nobody listens to what I’m trying to say. What am I saying? Simple. Every one wants everything right now, including their best life. They believe that they are living in the moment but what I actually see is denial. They are trying to stay alive forever and will never discuss finality with me. That’s why I know. I will always discuss finality because it is inevitable and should be accepted. It’s actually really lonely knowing this because I see so much desperation in people who are all afraid. I pray for them all and hope they find the peace and freedom of giving everything up to God.
I had to stop doing children's hospice.