Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy: An Introduction | Humans in Love ft. Zachary Stockill #11
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- čas přidán 28. 07. 2018
- In a special new episode of Humans in Love Podcast, I talk about my recent BBC News feature on retroactive jealousy, and share a little more about my experience with retroactive jealousy, and what RJ sufferers can start doing right now to feel better.
Claim your free mini-course on overcoming retroactive jealousy here: www.retroactivejealousy.com/f...
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Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy by Zachary Stockill: www.retroactivejealousy.com/o...
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"Get Over Your Partner's Past Fast" online course + private community: www.retroactivejealousy.com/c...
"The Overcoming Jealousy Blueprint" online course + bonuses: www.jealousycourse.com
One-on-One Coaching with Zachary Stockill: www.retroactivejealousy.com/r...
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Humans in Love ft. Zachary Stockill: A Podcast for Curious People: www.humansinlove.com
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So glad this has a name and it’s not just me
My wife and I met in 98 we were 13/15 and we’ve been together everyday since and have a family of 5 children and I’m the absolute luckiest man alive we’ve been through cancer , pulmonary embolism and many other health issues we’ve been through it all together were extremely close . Before she met me literally a month or so she was abused I won’t go into detail but a neighbor boy and friends really took advantage of her and forced things on her . When I met her it stopped because she told me and I stayed very close and protected her and to this day I’m still protective and she’s my everything. Being she told me things that happened I have always struggled with it being extremely jealous that they did what they did and touched this woman I hold in such high regard and love so much our intimacy is something I value and hold so close that it destroys me they touched her and it has ruined me emotionally and mentally . I have fought stage 4 cancer and beat it and this is harder mentally than that was . I will fight till my last breath to get over this because she’s worth it . This woman has been devoted to just me and our family she’s never strayed or even looked at another man and she looks at me like I’m a hero for coming along and saving her but I feel like I’m just making it worse talking about it . I just pray to god I can figure this out I have to because my happiness depends on this
HELLO BROTHER....I AM SO PROUD OF U....I HAVE THE EXACT ISSUE....BUT MY GIRL'S X HAD A HORRIBLE X.....I FEEL THE EXACT ABT HER WHAT U FEEL FOR UR WIFE AND SHE FEELS THE SAME FOR ME...SHE SUPER LOVONG, LOYAL AND TREATS ME LIKE HER PRINCE....I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME MENTAL STRUGGLE..I CRY ALONE AT NIGHT AND PRAY TO GOD WHY THAT HORRIBLE GUY GOT HOLD OF HER....WHY NOT ME WHEN I LOVE HER SO MUCH.....PLZ SHARE SOME MORE THOUGHTS WITH ME SO THAT I CAN HELP MYSELF MORE....THOUGH UR STATMENT WHERE U SAY THAT ''U WUD KEEP FIGHTING THAT THOUGHT BUT NEVER LET HER GO'' HELPED ME ALOT.....SHE IS A WONDERFUL GIRL MET A WRONG GUY....PLZ HELP
Abhinav Tyagi thank you for your response I just seen it now . I still struggle with this issue but some turn of events happened recently that sort of changed my outlook on this . A month ago my wife had a X-ray of her back due to back pain and two weeks later we’re laying in bed it’s about 9am and get a call from the doctor . I can hear the doctor say they see a 6cm mass in the left breast and I felt a cold panic and pure horror that I never felt before I’m talking true fear crippling fear . My wife hangs up and starts crying so I comfort her and we decide to go downstairs and tell the family and we all cry and pray . They called again an hour later with an mri scheduled for the next day . In this time I cried I prayed and I begged god that if he was listening to please don’t do this to this woman she’s been through so much already please god put this on me I’ll take it let me fight it . I prayed and promised god that I would be mentally stronger from this point on if I was given a second chance to appreciate what I have deeper and that I would never bring it up again . Well next day comes we get the mri and then a call about two hours later and the 6cm mass was nothing more than a shadow !!! They did see something in her lower lung but too small to test or worry about , she had multiple pulmonary embolisms a few years ago so it might be something related to that but they’ll scan her again in 6months but for now the suspected breast mass is nothing. I take a lot away from this because I won’t allow this negativity to poison my life anymore and I won’t bring it up to her anymore either because that’s just hurting her and taking up precious time that we might not have one day . I want to live every moment appreciating what I’m so lucky to have . I’m not blind to the fact yes I might still struggle but now I’m going to fight it 200% times harder than before I won’t be weak and let the jealousy and anger ruin another minute. If you would like to talk further find me on Facebook I’m under Tom card my wife is angel . I’m in pa If that helps narrow it down lol . I hope you are well and I’m proud of you aswell for reaching out it’s not an easy thing to do .
Hi Tom - thank you for sharing. I was wondering if I could get a bit more advice and insight on your mental battle, as it would help a great deal
I've gone through hell for 10 years because of this and nobody knew how to help me. My current love of 2 years is asleep in our bed as we speak. Earlier today, I stumbled across an article that you wrote and after reading it, I felt incredible. There was finally something that I could research and possibly treat it or medicate it. I'm so happy and excited now because my woman and I have been really struggling over this crap so you might have saved our relationship just by being open about this. THANK YOU!!!!
Wow!! I just Found this guy and these videos in the right moment of my life. Thank you, I’m watching all
Thank you for shining light on this. It is something that haunts me everyday.
Thanks a lot for this! Really helpful!
The Clarences love & support Zachary Stockill!!! LOVE your book, "Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy"!!!
I am always helped by listening to your open and heartfelt advice and you definitely inspire me to keep up with your programme and work on my insecurities and growth. I would 100% recommend your course/book to anyone suffering from ocdrj. I am not fully out of the dark yet, but I know if I keep being vigilant of my thoughts and do all the exercises you suggest in the course I will get there. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for all your dedication.
Sally x
Thanks for the kind words, Sally. Notes like this mean a lot to me.
I definitely need this! I’ve been struggling and I thought I was alone in this situation
Thank you for sharing!
You are hope of light for me Zachary :)
Not sure how I ended up here. But this sounded so much like me when I was looking for someone that I could have children with so long ago.
Now I don't ask about someone's past or there morals. I just take her out and have fun and be safe. And if I see her again it's a blessing, if not then it's on to the next.
U are fantastic. Thanks
You sound like a pod cast of my life .Where were you 40 years ago.I could of been much happier and had fewer regrets with the opposite sex. That's in the past now ..I just couldn't get traction it was horrible.. Very helpful,Thanks
👍🤗very helpful, ty!!
Anyone dealing with present issues? For example, your partner having a very close bond with their child’s mother. It’s hard to decide what’s my insecurities, and what’s a red flag. It’s also difficult to balance communicating when you receive defence, and remaining high value and not nagging. It’s absolutely exhausting 🙈 and difficult to know whether to find a relationship with no other parties to deal with. And it’s also exhausting when those close to you are telling you to end it and find a partner who’ll treat you with respect and value.
Zach this may just be the very material that needed ❤️ let’s do it 🤗
You r right.100%.thanku
Hi Zachary, ive been wanting to ask you I get anxiouse when my boyfriend goes out with friends. Not because I believe he wil cheat, but because of his friends and Im worried about his safety. Any advise???
Does this mean that you no longer deal with any jealousy in relationships and also do you feel people with retroactive jealousy are kind of self absorbed.
Man I’ve dealt with this for years, my current relationship shes my everything. She’s got a bad past, equal to mine but i can’t let it go. I snooped and saw a video of her and her ex being intimate that she forgot about. I stumbled across your videos a couple days ago and it’s been helping so much. Thank you for all you do, I’m happy I’m not alone i thought i was crazy for years. How can i work through seeing a video like that?
That's tough for sure, but I've worked with several men in your position who managed to get through it. More info here: www.retroactivejealousy.com
Same thing happened to me. It’s been a week and it’s just not going away. How are you dealing with it now? I need help
Never ask a question you really don't what to know the answer to
Thank you a looooot du de you have m'y respect you just made me leave and get reed of all the fogg that made less thinking of all the love I feel to my girlfriend and now I'm just living every moment with her and I started to fall in love with her again because I'm just not destracted and harmed by the RJ anymore hope that you'll read this one day
Special thanks from Algeria we share the same story i'm 20 and I've been dating her for like 3 months it's just like you.
Ps: the thing that helped me a lot is the FACT/OPINION technique
Great to hear, Sam.
Hi Zachary! Even when i watch romantic movies i get so insecure that I don’t watch them. I am not into the movie actually and start to think that if my partner watches a romantic movie he will think about his ex and that makes me not watch the movie. I start to imagine the movie as something happened between my partner and ex as a similar story. Do you have a video on that. I really need this help.
Pooja Rai that’s me for sure. I literally run out of the room to make “tea” hoping no one notices
Can you please send me the free videos to watch so I can get started.I have watched them before but it was so long ago.
As indicated in the video description, you can sign up for the free mini-course here: www.retroactivejealousy.com/free-mini-course/
Thank you for making these videos. These thoughts can be difficult to control and you’re helping a lot of people. Do you have any videos or information on dealing with jealousy over your partners desire to watch porn?
Thanks, Valerie. And no, I haven't tackled that specific issue.
I ruined my Relationship over this. He gave me so many chances, He wont forgive me now.
I’m so sorry :(
27:11
Is this with every girl you been with?
I wanna know too.cuz its yes in my life.but i am changing now at 52.
9:20 The way out is to forget about it
How do you forget about it?
I need help! I dont feel it's related to his past though it doesnt help! But the OCD of requiring, obsessing, mental movies, a nightmare! He is a great guy and I dont wont to loose him. I had been single 8 years because of it. We drove 5hrs. to a show we never saw! I lost my mind almost wrecked my car! I know I need real help. Yes embarrassing What do you recomnend? Thank you.
I created a free mini-course for people like you. You can sign up here: www.retroactivejealousy.com/free-mini-course/
@@ZacharyStockill sir i really want help..i want to see the mini videos...but i dont have money to purchase it...help me ...
@@anujbanjara5421 The mini-course is free, the premium course is not. www.retroactivejealousy.com/free-mini-course/
Every time.i try to click on the free course it says its an invalid entry