Snort Hogan's Original Vid: • DSP Pathetic "Robbery"... My Ko-fi Link : ko-fi.com/atlusthebookkeeper Other Places To Find Me : linktr.ee/atlusthebookkeeper
He left that cart for way longer than 2 minutes and an employee likely moved it to the back fridge to preserve the perishables. Then he asked a cart runner about it, because no customer service rep is going to immediately and definitively say "oh someone stole it" He has the problem solving skills of a small child
"I went to the grocery store and somebody grabbed my cart, with my groceries in it, when I walked away to grab cranberry sauce." That story is done in one sentence. How tf did he stretch that out to a 40 min boring ass story?
DSP being DSP. When you have socially isolated yourself for close to a decade and only leave your home for a few hours a week. Something like losing your shopping bags are peak exitement.
Oh god can you imagine.... Phil: GUILTY! Judge: The trial hasnt even started yet Mr Burnell Phil: Snort! Well your honour I have bills to pay and its the busiest gaming time of the year I have things to do dood!
As someone who works in a grocery store currently, if a cart is unattended we are literally supposed to take it and get it out of the aisle, so if your gone for 120 seconds but if I see it unattended at the 20 second mark and it’s not near anyone that could be the owner of the cart we will move your cart to the back and keep it there for 10 minutes and if it’s not taken by then we put the groceries back and put the bags (if any) in the lost and found. If a cart is unattended for in any store and the store is efficient in it’s image your cart will be gone by the time you get back… we are functioning adults here so lets think why would someone see a cart, an unpaid for cart of supplies, and just leave??? I think Phil grab the sauce and when he got back the cart was missing only a employee saw him being confused and snorting all around the store and asked “are you looking for a cart” and Dave being the real tough macho guy he is online “Yeah i’m so confused Awuhm *SNORT* show me where it is or i’m just gonna ban you you fugging duhnce Ok” the employee shows him that the cart was moved to a space in the store away from foot traffic and DSP said “oh I thought someone robbed me Ack Ack Ack Ack” and the employee says “yeah it happens have a good day” and on the way home DSP made up this scenario in his head and he just vomits it all up while making up more useless details while giving you BS details just so he can sneak diss the law enforcement in his area and complain about the government
DSP was excited to tweet he was robbed because he figured out how else to explain to his viewers to give more donations because this ads to the rest of his financial problems.
Phil: Seattle is so full of crime Somebody on chat: "I went to Seattle and it was a nice place to visit Phil: Who are you to question my authority? Seriously, by Phil's logic, he should not go to Naples because every neapolitan is related to mafia or something
If the tire was stolen, his insurance should have covered it under theft. My cataylitc converter was stolen and insurance covered it and that was a little over $3000.
"I wrote I got rhabbed, why did people blow it out the proportions?!" This is dumber than CZcamsrs pretending to have cancer, because "we went to get tested for cancer and doctor said we should check again in few years!".
They should make a film out of this daring heist story because it's gripping edge of the stuff full of drama and action. Not The Great Train Robbery but the Great Trolley Robbery. The main scene could be like Phil wandering off to get a jar of pickles or whatever and he leaves the trolley there for whatever reason and he's counting down the exact number of seconds that he left the trolley blocking the aisle for. That's the amount of time the backpacked thief played by Tom Cruise or someone has to make his get away with Phil's trolley. The music from Impossible Mission will play throughout the scene, I'm picturing it quite vividly.
Of course Phillip felt that this was a robbery I mean he felt threatened that he was going to have to ask an employee for help for a second nothing more terrifying than human interaction
18:34 I feel like a Lovecraft protagonist and the thing that's slowly driving me insane isn't some aquatic-themed horror from beyond the stars IT'S PHIL'S FUCKING RAMBLING
Seattle crime rates are at the national average, according to the FBI. Bro talks about it like it's something people from elsewhere just can't understand, when it's literally average.
I don’t think his shopping cart was full. 1) his parents buy him QVC meals probably was a light trip so khat didn’t come 2) mr ack ack ack muh back 🤕 didn’t complain about his back 3) In his mind he was like “yeah I can leave muh cart here they’ll notice the bags and humus”🛒🐷
I dunno man, he’s talked about groceries before and there something weird going on with their food buying. Doordash is that same deal. Phil equates some kinda status with living a middle class life, fridge fully stocked etc. like a “family”. They buy insane amounts food, and he’s admitted they regularly throw lots out. It’s bizarre, but it’s DSP pissing money away which he legit loves to do. He will never admit it, but he truly does spend that munny like it’s going outta style
He’s delusional thinking his “gated community” somehow keeps him safe. The gate is a big, ugly old metal thing that does indeed block a vehicle from coming in but any criminal on foot can easily get past it.
"It wasn't just the tire, it was the whole assembly" No, you can clearly see in the picture that the only thing gone, is THE TIRE, NOT THE WHOLE ASSEMBLY
DSP actually playing 10-dimensional chess here because when the burglar got home they realized there was no cranberry sauce and their entire holiday was ruined. Also his reusable shopping bags were probably the ones that had failing handles or holes in them because DSP thinks of everything.
Here's what I think happened: While he was shopping, he saw someone in the store that he thought was a detractor, got scared and abandoned his cart (and his precious reusable shopping bags) and hid in his car and watched the entrance until the "detractor" left, and then went back in and found his cart moved. Then he made up the "robbery" so he could get viewers on his "pahdcast".
And then a viewer said he went to Seattle for 5 days and had a fine time, noting that the amount of crime is the same as any other city. In true cult phil fashion he singles out that commenter and questions his legitimacy. The man is so sheltered and insecure it’s mind boggling. (Important to note Washington is the 9th safest state to live in as of a Washington post article of October of last year)
Phil wouldn't be saying these things about the cops, if he understood what Cop City is. It's literally happening in Seattle right now, and he thinks cops are getting neutered? They're getting even more funding, after being discovered that the budget was already high.
It’s like he never takes into account that people know how transparent he is. His ego just erases certain trains of thought, I believe. It was so transparent he was drunk late at nite and concocted this, at best, gross exaggeration for hype and eyeballs. He can’t see the criticism before the tweet or rant, and that’s if we’re being generous and assuming he’s just stupid.
9:30 As somebody who works in asset protection (store security), this is completely untrue. Even on low dollar amounts, if the police get involved the suspect is at least given a court date and charged with a misdemeanor. Once again, Phil’s presenting himself as an authority on a subject he has absolutely no clue about.
All he had to say is, "Hey guys. So today something weird happened. I went shopping, and someone took my cart when I went to another aisle real quick. It sucked because I brought my reusable bags, now they're gone." Instead he -must- explain stupid, unneeded things. Baffling.
It isn't my business if someone steals from some random store. Nor is it Phil's. People don't often steal what they can afford to buy. His insistence that theives get TOSSED into the slammer despite them being no danger to him in particular is concerning. Phil is THE White Fence Middle Class White Guy™️.
Didnt know that thank you. But he didn't mention that as a reason he uses them which is strange considering he loves talking about money. And it would of given him a reason to complain
36:15 As someone who once worked as a curiosity clerk at a Lunds & Byerlys I highly doubt the cashier said all that mainly because I doubt they would care that much I always dreaded the possibility of dealing with Karens (I never did) and Phil's the perfect example of why I felt that way
He's really good at giving information that we would NEVER need at any point in our lives as viewers. I'm so glad I know exactly what food he'll be having for the week
"I cant leave my expensive phone in my cart" He bought an expensive phone and complains about not having money "What if you have an infant child in the cart?" Why on earth would you leave a child in there in the first place? "Buying sooo much food and fill the cart to the top" - And yet they doordash/skip all the time lmfao
My headcanon is he pushed it into Dairy, wandeeed off to find the sauce and came back, but because the cart had moved out of his peripheral for a minute, he completely forgot where he left it. And his mind just retconned it. That cart was banned banned banned banned banned. Gone. Forever. And in the meantime Phil is wandering around the aisles screaming “WHERE IS MY CART? YOU STILL HAVEN’T TOLD ME” Just shuffling up to employees ranting incoherently while pointing in random directions. If the rest of his insane rant is anything to go by I am convinced 100 Dave is in desperate need of an intervention. And like not even from a hate perspective or whatever, he SERIOUSLY needs someone to go over there and ask him “hey man are you ok? Do you need some help?” Because that rant was one of the most deranged unhinged rants I have EVER seen this guy do. Something is seriously wrong with our guy Dave.
Hes so brave living in the post apocalypse that is Seattle. The pure anarchist domain hes unable to escape. The Purge movies are based on his neighborhood im sure
Why is he so upset about the cranberry sauce being put on the endcaps...? XD It's a holiday item that most people don't want/pay attention to until around this time of year, it makes sense to put it front of the aisle for shoppers to find easily.
Sometime in 2023 Fox News went up to the PNW to interview people about how bad the crime was up there and like... 0% of the people they found had anything bad to say about it. Phil talks about Seattle like it's both Mad Max and a GTA game and that's just absolute nonsense. I'm not from Washington or Oregon, but I am right next door in Idaho and I can tell ya that we get enough people coming across to visit that if it were really that bad we'd hear about it first hand and we just don't.
5:58 More of Phil doesn't understand cars. In order for someone to steal only the rim or only the tire they would need a tire machine. Phil's shock that they took the "tire assembly" makes no sense because it would take more effort to not take the rim and tire together.
Probably told the cashier about how he got laid off from the helicopter company and how trolls fucked him over for 15 years and now the high crime rate someone stole his cart he abandoned in the middle of an aisle for cranberry sauce that no one eats
You should definitely make a big dinner for thanksgiving for you and your lady. My wife and I are by ourselves, and we can eat for an entire week using thanksgiving leftovers. 80 dollar dinner feeds 2 people for lunches and dinners for 7 days. That’s like 12 bucks a day.
Phil talking about the job searching in his area...he seems VERY well informed. Now, he COULD just be pulling it from his butt, however...this guy can't take 2 seconds on Google to research a computer, so how would he know what McDonald's is hiring for? Is it possible Kat (or even his dad) is forcing him to start looking for an actual job? I'm starting to think maybe those chargebacks are all from Mommy Burnell because his Marine dad is putting the brakes on supporting a 42 year old man child whose ONLY source of income is begging.
Traffic pursuits are generally prohibited in populated areas not due to police being ‘soft on crime’, but to minimize the risk of uninvolved parties being involved by way of traffic accidents.
I can’t speak for Washington, but when I lived in Chicago my boss warned me which areas to avoid and when because there were different gangs and shootings that happened. If I were to guess each gang occupies what they consider their own terf or whatever and that’s why my boss said those specific areas.
How much you want to bet employee saw it and thought it was an orphan cart and rolled it into the back room. The idea of the supermarket employees agreeing with him about the theft is highly suspicious
Wait... did he really compare reusable bags to a child? Reusable bags that have no value? He goes through that whole story, says it's not a big deal, then keeps on going even more.
Two words..."tire assembly". And yeah kat definitely Hit something and simultaneously blew the tire while destroying the rim. There's no other reason for the car to be parked that way with his jack
WOW. The theory on his tire not actually being stolen rings true to me. If there’s one thing to know about DSP it’s to never give him the benefit of the doubt. The only thing I wonder about is let’s say his tire wasn’t stolen and he went on stream to lie about it. Is khat okay with these lies? She must watch the stream sometimes. I guess she is married to Dave, she must have a problem with the truth as well.
38:45 so according to DSP stealing from a grocery store and kidnapping are on the same level of crime and the cops wouldn't do anything. He doesn't say it but it feels like he's implying it
That is how WA is. It's why I left. And I make half what Dave does, but Dave will never fix his own problems because he's been doing it for 15 years ya know.
I have a family member who lives in Washington and he doesn't complain about this. But phil does this all the time like dude leave you're house and get a job
Unlike Phil, I actually live in Seattle. It's no better, nor is it any worse than any other big city. This is the MOST RIDICULOUS story he has ever told. This is a new low for Phil.
I don’t know anyone who calls a wheel an assembly. The reflection on the door shows how far away the car actually is from a spot . I think you are right In assuming this was a quick change job after khat ran the car up something , possibly a curb and railing .
Him saying he timed how long it took is such an obvious lie and such a weird thing to lie about. I guess he anticipated people saying he left his cart alone for too long and it was his fault. But saying he timed it is so bizarre.
He had to come up with a way to debunk someone saying he took to long you are right. But saying he timed it was not the right answer. Shoulda just taken the cart.
He cant move. he defaulted on his first mortgage and is now ass deep in debt on a second. He wont live anywhere that isnt a gated community and nobody in their right mind would give DSP a mortgage. This is the result of a string of bad decisions on Phils part. This is what happens when you pick a state based on how much tax you pay rather than the crime rate.
He left that cart for way longer than 2 minutes and an employee likely moved it to the back fridge to preserve the perishables. Then he asked a cart runner about it, because no customer service rep is going to immediately and definitively say "oh someone stole it" He has the problem solving skills of a small child
exactly, if his cart was as heavy as he said he would have easily been able to find the person
Nah, possibly an employer saw 50 bottles of gin and thought it was a restock
Imagine how great the security cam footage of confused Philly wandering around would be.
If only we could get the footage. Lol
😂
Whuhh whuh do I do?
I hope a employee in the security recorded it to and posted it to CZcams
That would be the first time I would pay for DSP-related style content
"I went to the grocery store and somebody grabbed my cart, with my groceries in it, when I walked away to grab cranberry sauce." That story is done in one sentence. How tf did he stretch that out to a 40 min boring ass story?
DSP being DSP.
When you have socially isolated yourself for close to a decade and only leave your home for a few hours a week.
Something like losing your shopping bags are peak exitement.
No way he was only gone two minutes if he says he was only gone two minutes. Probably was away so long that the staff cleaned up the cart.
With how scarily good Phil is talking about nothing, imagine this guy getting called into jury duty. 🤣
The other Jurors would vote him out. 😂
Oh god can you imagine....
Phil: GUILTY!
Judge: The trial hasnt even started yet Mr Burnell
Phil: Snort! Well your honour I have bills to pay and its the busiest gaming time of the year I have things to do dood!
@@jimg1787 🤣 Phil will be thrown, into Contempt hella quick. Rushing the jurors, to hurry up so he can go stream the daily wrap.
@@jimg1787 lmao I can also see Phil making the whole thing even longer by trying to get into a debate xD
You know, this whole thing could have been avoided if Phil actually would have taken his cart with him.
Stupid detracktor morahn, tuh huh.
@@Lum2022 so him taking his cart with him is why im a moron i think not
"Thank God I'm not dumb. Imagine if I were dumb."
I spat out my water.
Bro, I almost fvckin died!
Reminds me of Patrick when he says “And I use to be dumb!” Lmao!
An organised crime ring stealing one random wheel and some reusable grocery bags. Totally checks out, Phil.
Bro is making Renton sound like the projects. As an “urban-style individual”, Phil really knows how to tick me off😂
Are you watching this from outside of a burger king while shooting up? Or maybe playing urban style sports?
When someone is actually robbed, they don't have to qualify it by saying "I was basically robbed".
As someone who works in a grocery store currently, if a cart is unattended we are literally supposed to take it and get it out of the aisle, so if your gone for 120 seconds but if I see it unattended at the 20 second mark and it’s not near anyone that could be the owner of the cart we will move your cart to the back and keep it there for 10 minutes and if it’s not taken by then we put the groceries back and put the bags (if any) in the lost and found. If a cart is unattended for in any store and the store is efficient in it’s image your cart will be gone by the time you get back… we are functioning adults here so lets think why would someone see a cart, an unpaid for cart of supplies, and just leave??? I think Phil grab the sauce and when he got back the cart was missing only a employee saw him being confused and snorting all around the store and asked “are you looking for a cart” and Dave being the real tough macho guy he is online “Yeah i’m so confused Awuhm *SNORT* show me where it is or i’m just gonna ban you you fugging duhnce Ok” the employee shows him that the cart was moved to a space in the store away from foot traffic and DSP said “oh I thought someone robbed me Ack Ack Ack Ack” and the employee says “yeah it happens have a good day” and on the way home DSP made up this scenario in his head and he just vomits it all up while making up more useless details while giving you BS details just so he can sneak diss the law enforcement in his area and complain about the government
This is something I would have done as a ten year old while talking to the other kids I wanted to think I was cool.
Robbery: "the action of taking property unlawfully from a person or place by force or threat of force."
Bro uses the most dramatic language possible
👍
"They steal just to steal" spoken like someone who lies just to lie
DSP was excited to tweet he was robbed because he figured out how else to explain to his viewers to give more donations because this ads to the rest of his financial problems.
Also reminder that Phil lied about getting his tire stolen. Literally nobody reported any tire thefts around that time on any parking lot.
Check again - Kat reported the tire stolen at the Southcenter Mall in Tukwila.
From the photo it's obvious Kat drive a few feet, realized it was flat and stopped. Liars lie.
Phil: Seattle is so full of crime
Somebody on chat: "I went to Seattle and it was a nice place to visit
Phil: Who are you to question my authority?
Seriously, by Phil's logic, he should not go to Naples because every neapolitan is related to mafia or something
Seattle is a sh*those though he’s not wrong.
If the tire was stolen, his insurance should have covered it under theft. My cataylitc converter was stolen and insurance covered it and that was a little over $3000.
"I wrote I got rhabbed, why did people blow it out the proportions?!"
This is dumber than CZcamsrs pretending to have cancer, because "we went to get tested for cancer and doctor said we should check again in few years!".
They should make a film out of this daring heist story because it's gripping edge of the stuff full of drama and action. Not The Great Train Robbery but the Great Trolley Robbery. The main scene could be like Phil wandering off to get a jar of pickles or whatever and he leaves the trolley there for whatever reason and he's counting down the exact number of seconds that he left the trolley blocking the aisle for. That's the amount of time the backpacked thief played by Tom Cruise or someone has to make his get away with Phil's trolley. The music from Impossible Mission will play throughout the scene, I'm picturing it quite vividly.
For lore reasons... I'm going to need to insist it be butter instead lol
The good... the bad... and the handcart/shower stool
Enzo i want a rough draft of this on my desk by yesterday morning or your fired
That would actually be a funny ass youtube fan film
Of course Phillip felt that this was a robbery I mean he felt threatened that he was going to have to ask an employee for help for a second nothing more terrifying than human interaction
Time to sip coffee and listen to Altus give us the goods.
I'm sipping right now brother.
Philly can turn a story that should take 1 minute into 30 minutes. Dude has talent.
18:34 I feel like a Lovecraft protagonist and the thing that's slowly driving me insane isn't some aquatic-themed horror from beyond the stars IT'S PHIL'S FUCKING RAMBLING
the constant repeating of phrases he does definitely makes me feel like the Caretaker album did during the last couple stages
DSP is actually an SCP they haven't gotten around to containing yet because while strange and annoying he's also not really that much of a threat.
@@DacodaNelsonholy shit, an SCP story about Phil would be pure fucking magic
Seattle crime rates are at the national average, according to the FBI. Bro talks about it like it's something people from elsewhere just can't understand, when it's literally average.
I don’t think his shopping cart was full.
1) his parents buy him QVC meals probably was a light trip so khat didn’t come
2) mr ack ack ack muh back 🤕 didn’t complain about his back
3) In his mind he was like “yeah I can leave muh cart here they’ll notice the bags and humus”🛒🐷
I dunno man, he’s talked about groceries before and there something weird going on with their food buying. Doordash is that same deal. Phil equates some kinda status with living a middle class life, fridge fully stocked etc. like a “family”. They buy insane amounts food, and he’s admitted they regularly throw lots out. It’s bizarre, but it’s DSP pissing money away which he legit loves to do. He will never admit it, but he truly does spend that munny like it’s going outta style
He’s delusional thinking his “gated community” somehow keeps him safe. The gate is a big, ugly old metal thing that does indeed block a vehicle from coming in but any criminal on foot can easily get past it.
"It wasn't just the tire, it was the whole assembly"
No, you can clearly see in the picture that the only thing gone, is THE TIRE, NOT THE WHOLE ASSEMBLY
A tyre is the rubber around the wheel, a normal oerson woukd say "they stole my wheel".
20:16 I honestly wonder how many of his chat members have fallen asleep by now
I've been rahbbed of my time by sheer pig delusion
A lot of us have.
When you dropped "chap shap", I literally almost tipped my canoe. Gooood shit.
lol i didnt mean to do you like that
@@AtlustheBookkeeper I was 25% on land, pushing off. I leaned laughing. CHaaap. 🤣
All kinds of tractor activities happening while listening to people shiet on Phil. A truly diverse & healthy community 🤌🏼🧐
Imagine blaming employees putting your stuff back on the Black Lives Matter movement. What a wild reach.
DSP actually playing 10-dimensional chess here because when the burglar got home they realized there was no cranberry sauce and their entire holiday was ruined. Also his reusable shopping bags were probably the ones that had failing handles or holes in them because DSP thinks of everything.
Dude I can’t. Getting to 3:30 and getting a reimagining of the tire-theft story for the 14th time… i can’t listen to this pig anymore.
Imagine spending 40 minutes explaining that you lost $2 worth of reusable bags
And 15 minutes just to get started on the topic, Jesus christ…
@@Lum2022 it's not a big deal though, he can't understand why people are talking about it!
Here's what I think happened: While he was shopping, he saw someone in the store that he thought was a detractor, got scared and abandoned his cart (and his precious reusable shopping bags) and hid in his car and watched the entrance until the "detractor" left, and then went back in and found his cart moved. Then he made up the "robbery" so he could get viewers on his "pahdcast".
The idea of BLM being the reason for phils shopping meldown might be the best thing associated with BLM
And then a viewer said he went to Seattle for 5 days and had a fine time, noting that the amount of crime is the same as any other city.
In true cult phil fashion he singles out that commenter and questions his legitimacy. The man is so sheltered and insecure it’s mind boggling.
(Important to note Washington is the 9th safest state to live in as of a Washington post article of October of last year)
Phil wouldn't be saying these things about the cops, if he understood what Cop City is. It's literally happening in Seattle right now, and he thinks cops are getting neutered? They're getting even more funding, after being discovered that the budget was already high.
It’s like he never takes into account that people know how transparent he is. His ego just erases certain trains of thought, I believe. It was so transparent he was drunk late at nite and concocted this, at best, gross exaggeration for hype and eyeballs. He can’t see the criticism before the tweet or rant, and that’s if we’re being generous and assuming he’s just stupid.
Im so glad i wasnt the only one thinking that employee was just like "oh yeah thats wild....beep.....beep...so paper or plastic?"
Plot twist. Phil stole the groceries because he just got done talking about how theft doesn't ever get seriously punished.
9:30 As somebody who works in asset protection (store security), this is completely untrue. Even on low dollar amounts, if the police get involved the suspect is at least given a court date and charged with a misdemeanor. Once again, Phil’s presenting himself as an authority on a subject he has absolutely no clue about.
All he had to say is, "Hey guys. So today something weird happened. I went shopping, and someone took my cart when I went to another aisle real quick. It sucked because I brought my reusable bags, now they're gone."
Instead he -must- explain stupid, unneeded things. Baffling.
It isn't my business if someone steals from some random store. Nor is it Phil's. People don't often steal what they can afford to buy. His insistence that theives get TOSSED into the slammer despite them being no danger to him in particular is concerning. Phil is THE White Fence Middle Class White Guy™️.
Washington State does require stores to charge shoppers for shopping bags, so it does save money to use reusables
Didnt know that thank you. But he didn't mention that as a reason he uses them which is strange considering he loves talking about money. And it would of given him a reason to complain
"Dairy Style Cheese" is my new favorite Phil quote.
If only he had brought his maid to watch over the cart while he bravely treked on his own to get his cranberry sauce.
1 hour vid DAYUM! I'm all for it
[edit] Bro... This story is so ludicrous and unreal. The levels of bullshit no jutsu are unparalleled
He made a 2 min tale 40 minutes. Unreal
36:15 As someone who once worked as a curiosity clerk at a Lunds & Byerlys I highly doubt the cashier said all that mainly because I doubt they would care that much I always dreaded the possibility of dealing with Karens (I never did) and Phil's the perfect example of why I felt that way
He's really good at giving information that we would NEVER need at any point in our lives as viewers. I'm so glad I know exactly what food he'll be having for the week
"I cant leave my expensive phone in my cart"
He bought an expensive phone and complains about not having money
"What if you have an infant child in the cart?"
Why on earth would you leave a child in there in the first place?
"Buying sooo much food and fill the cart to the top"
- And yet they doordash/skip all the time lmfao
DSP abandons his shopping, employee puts it back.
So fucking mundane, but Phil will never pass up an opportunity to be a victim.
My headcanon is he pushed it into Dairy, wandeeed off to find the sauce and came back, but because the cart had moved out of his peripheral for a minute, he completely forgot where he left it. And his mind just retconned it.
That cart was banned banned banned banned banned. Gone. Forever.
And in the meantime Phil is wandering around the aisles screaming “WHERE IS MY CART? YOU STILL HAVEN’T TOLD ME”
Just shuffling up to employees ranting incoherently while pointing in random directions.
If the rest of his insane rant is anything to go by I am convinced 100 Dave is in desperate need of an intervention.
And like not even from a hate perspective or whatever, he SERIOUSLY needs someone to go over there and ask him “hey man are you ok? Do you need some help?” Because that rant was one of the most deranged unhinged rants I have EVER seen this guy do.
Something is seriously wrong with our guy Dave.
Hes so brave living in the post apocalypse that is Seattle. The pure anarchist domain hes unable to escape. The Purge movies are based on his neighborhood im sure
Why is he so upset about the cranberry sauce being put on the endcaps...? XD
It's a holiday item that most people don't want/pay attention to until around this time of year, it makes sense to put it front of the aisle for shoppers to find easily.
It shouldn’t surprise me that Phil is the first person I’ve seen call Twitter “X”
Seeing pigroach flip a 2 minute story into an hour reminds me of the quote “Brevity is the soul of wit”
Who steals a Tire, and leaves the Jack, and keeps the vehicle up ON the jack?!... Someone who's not stealin tires! DUH!
I never thought I would see the day where I find somebody who gets more angry over imaginary scenarios than KingCobraJFS
When I saw that tweet by Phil the first thought that I had was “oh good someone stole the other 3 tires”
Sometime in 2023 Fox News went up to the PNW to interview people about how bad the crime was up there and like... 0% of the people they found had anything bad to say about it.
Phil talks about Seattle like it's both Mad Max and a GTA game and that's just absolute nonsense. I'm not from Washington or Oregon, but I am right next door in Idaho and I can tell ya that we get enough people coming across to visit that if it were really that bad we'd hear about it first hand and we just don't.
He’s talking about organized retail theft which is a real thing and is becoming more prevalent. He clearly watched the local news.
5:58 More of Phil doesn't understand cars. In order for someone to steal only the rim or only the tire they would need a tire machine. Phil's shock that they took the "tire assembly" makes no sense because it would take more effort to not take the rim and tire together.
Gonna drop my 5 cents here: staff took the cart away, because they found an abandoned cart, that was blocking the isle and such
I think they stole his gin which is what really upset him. He was looking forward to a quick swallow before he paid.
" the best stories on youtube" proceeds to explain the concept of reusable shopping bags
Probably told the cashier about how he got laid off from the helicopter company and how trolls fucked him over for 15 years and now the high crime rate someone stole his cart he abandoned in the middle of an aisle for cranberry sauce that no one eats
26:47 because it's a crowded grocery store and you're leaving your cart unattended
You should definitely make a big dinner for thanksgiving for you and your lady. My wife and I are by ourselves, and we can eat for an entire week using thanksgiving leftovers. 80 dollar dinner feeds 2 people for lunches and dinners for 7 days. That’s like 12 bucks a day.
Multiply everything you mentioned by 10 because DSP is an id!oit.
Phil talking about the job searching in his area...he seems VERY well informed. Now, he COULD just be pulling it from his butt, however...this guy can't take 2 seconds on Google to research a computer, so how would he know what McDonald's is hiring for?
Is it possible Kat (or even his dad) is forcing him to start looking for an actual job? I'm starting to think maybe those chargebacks are all from Mommy Burnell because his Marine dad is putting the brakes on supporting a 42 year old man child whose ONLY source of income is begging.
Rumors has it that he already signed a deal with Hollywood, with Steven Seagal in the role of DSP.
plot twist DSP was in a self check out and the theories he got were from himself.
Traffic pursuits are generally prohibited in populated areas not due to police being ‘soft on crime’, but to minimize the risk of uninvolved parties being involved by way of traffic accidents.
Not in Florida its on.
I can’t speak for Washington, but when I lived in Chicago my boss warned me which areas to avoid and when because there were different gangs and shootings that happened. If I were to guess each gang occupies what they consider their own terf or whatever and that’s why my boss said those specific areas.
How much you want to bet employee saw it and thought it was an orphan cart and rolled it into the back room. The idea of the supermarket employees agreeing with him about the theft is highly suspicious
Wait... did he really compare reusable bags to a child? Reusable bags that have no value? He goes through that whole story, says it's not a big deal, then keeps on going even more.
4:00 LOL that's a terrible parking job. The front is way over the line and the passenger side is probably over the line too.
DSP making Renton Wa sound like Gotham City lmaooo
Two words..."tire assembly". And yeah kat definitely Hit something and simultaneously blew the tire while destroying the rim. There's no other reason for the car to be parked that way with his jack
I'm already mad that he just calls it X
if you speed up the playback to 1.5 or 2x when Atlus speeds it up to 2x you can turn Phil into the micro machines guy
WOW. The theory on his tire not actually being stolen rings true to me. If there’s one thing to know about DSP it’s to never give him the benefit of the doubt.
The only thing I wonder about is let’s say his tire wasn’t stolen and he went on stream to lie about it. Is khat okay with these lies? She must watch the stream sometimes.
I guess she is married to Dave, she must have a problem with the truth as well.
38:45 so according to DSP stealing from a grocery store and kidnapping are on the same level of crime and the cops wouldn't do anything. He doesn't say it but it feels like he's implying it
That is how WA is.
It's why I left.
And I make half what Dave does, but Dave will never fix his own problems because he's been doing it for 15 years ya know.
I have a family member who lives in Washington and he doesn't complain about this. But phil does this all the time like dude leave you're house and get a job
Listening to this in the grocery store right now
56:08 and Phil finds a way to ramble about his past
" I only leave the house once a week!" A very very sad life.
Don't worry guys he won't get actually robbed, because he and the robber both need wifi as he needs internet to talk to khat.
I’m a professional grease monkey that the jack in the trunk of the car wings knows his shit
He makes Washington sound like Grand Theft Auto 5 lol.
or like the purge
This is how you dont get robbed
I find it laughable that he assumes that because his cart went missing that whoever took it just walked out rhe door with it and not pay for them
Unlike Phil, I actually live in Seattle. It's no better, nor is it any worse than any other big city. This is the MOST RIDICULOUS story he has ever told. This is a new low for Phil.
Hey Atlus, not to nit pick, but there's a typo in the title.
You forgot the quotation marks for "Robbery". 😂
Appreciate the content.
He acts like Seattle is a crime infested as Chicago or Detroit
I don’t know anyone who calls a wheel an assembly.
The reflection on the door shows how far away the car actually is from a spot .
I think you are right In assuming this was a quick change job after khat ran the car up something , possibly a curb and railing .
Him saying he timed how long it took is such an obvious lie and such a weird thing to lie about. I guess he anticipated people saying he left his cart alone for too long and it was his fault. But saying he timed it is so bizarre.
He had to come up with a way to debunk someone saying he took to long you are right. But saying he timed it was not the right answer. Shoulda just taken the cart.
He cant move. he defaulted on his first mortgage and is now ass deep in debt on a second. He wont live anywhere that isnt a gated community and nobody in their right mind would give DSP a mortgage. This is the result of a string of bad decisions on Phils part. This is what happens when you pick a state based on how much tax you pay rather than the crime rate.
Khamaun guies! DSP needs those pitty bucks!