Soooo, about parenting.
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- čas přidán 11. 02. 2021
- We were asked to speak about parenting for 'Black Family Weekend', an online conference hosted by Progressive Baptist Church in Chicago. It always feels a little odd to talk about parenting seeing as though we both feel like we're still figuring it out ourselves. We decided to approach the topic by sharing a few perspectives that we're trying to apply to our parenting as best we can.
For more information about Progressive Baptist, check out their CZcams channel: / @progressivechicago
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---The Lady Behind the Cam: www.powitskim.com
---For more info about The Perry's: www.withtheperrys.com
This feels like I’m sitting across the couch from you. Sipping my tea. Listening to you chat. Really enjoy this intimate type style. Thanks for the wisdom. :) ❤️
Yesss
Totally agree 🥰
I knowww same here
“God loves our children more than we do” . I don’t have any kids, I’m 18. But when that statement was made, I could literally feel the love of god come over me 🤷🏽♂️ I know my parents love me very much, so I can’t even begin to fathom god’s love for me!! Powerful statement.
Really is
I'm 18 ... same here
That part when they said “ God parents us and He helps us parent our children”🤯🙌🏾
Yes! I feel this because God checks me and I find myself going back to my children to apologize. God helps me to look at things differently.
This was definitely needed for my parenting journey. Thanks sooooo much ❤️
Amen!!!
"I don't want Beautiful to be a new song to them..."
I know, I rly luv tht part😖
That part 😥🙌🏾
I love it💗💗
I’m not a parent but this BLESSED ME differently. In so many ways.
Same here, these were great outlooks and pointers
@@mallarienelson1056 definitely
Totally Agree! And added understanding about my own childhood.
@@xlhits listennnnnnnn 💯
So true! Very insightful!
I really love that you addressed the talking back vs. expressing yourself. It’s important to teach kids their feelings are valuable and valid bc for so long in the black community it has been taught kids thoughts and feeling don’t matter. This was a very insightful video! Thank you!
I can agree too.
same very true
Same
I’m 20 watching this like I got 3 kids😂 but no matter what the basis of the video is from the Perry’s, there is always something to take away. Love y’all!
Lol how many would u want
@@jollygoodgordon5580 4 or 5 lol
im 26 (since january)tho
Im 20 Too. I want 8.
@@jollygoodgordon5580 Happy Belated!
Who else noticed the "Go back upstairs!" and the "Eden, you gotta go back upstairs sweetie" 😂😂 Both are necessary!
Very necessary..
I was like go Jackie 😂😂😂 ...
And yes both are very necessary
“Trusting God to parent us as we parent.”
I'm a single mum and this blessed me to remember it's not all on me. Praise God I have a heavenly father who Co parents with me and parents me.
This literally spoke me! So many times growing up as a child and even in church we don’t have the permission to feel... Jesus.
“Don’t quench how God has made your children, shape them.”
So true, growing up they don’t know how to distinguish on how children express themselves... Help them process how they feel. Whew!
“I don’t want beautiful to be a new song to them..”😭😭😭 That was powerful!
Y’all... these are straight gems.
I appreciate all the wisdom you both consistently pour out! Everyone needs a safe place. Thank you! ♥️
"Maybe she's not talking back; maybe she's trying to gind a way to express herself."... Such grace.🙏
As someone who looks forward to (prayerfully) being a parent one day - THANK YOU for sharing your wisdom with us! 😁👍🏾✍🏾📝
Amen. Me too
@@Miss_DaniD 🙏🏾
Jackie, I can relate to how you feel about your gap and I still think about getting my closed, sometimes. I love how Preston immediately said, that your gap is beautiful! Gaps run on my dad's side of the family. Thank you both for sharing.
Where I come from it's a mark of beauty; in Uganda. I almost wanted one when I was younger.
@@bamto1619 haha I’m Sudanese and my whole family basically have one:) I think it’s beautiful!
@@bamto1619 In my community in Kenya they were considered a mark of true beauty.
I sincerely love you guys! I’ve been checking CZcams to see if y’all made any new videos and finally y’all came through! and I’m happy it’s about parenting because I was just yelling at my 1 year old last night for crying, being dramatic getting on my nerves! I was basically yelling at my 1 year old for being a 1 year old 🥺 🤦🏾♀️. I’m 23 years old, not married and not with the father of my child.. so looking at my life and trying to accept it for what it is has been tough. But watching you guys video makes me feel good! It’s because of you guys that my perspective as a WHOLE has changed 🥰😇❤️🙏🏽
Bless you Chelsi! I’m a single mom to a 6 year old boy so I understand your struggle. But the fact that you’re watching this video and have acknowledged how you’ve been parenting speaks volumes. If no one has told you lately, you’re a great Mom. Keep striving to be who God made you to be and trust Him along the way 🌷🧸💕
@@JackieleenVerdejo222 I appreciate that so much. Thank you 🥰
Wishing you nothing but success in your parent journey @Chelsi Howell. You are doing an amazing job reflecting on how you are handaling life and there will be moments that are harder to handle. Thank you for being conscious through your journey and may it get easier for you to parent! All the best!!!
@@bernadettematovu2067 thank you so much. I’m still learning. But the more I grow in my faith and walk with God the more I know things will be okay and work out for the best 🙏🏽❤️
@@chelsihowell5305 trust God dear... Keep walking with God and you'll never regret you did. He has the deepest of wisdom
Damn. Preston makes you want to intentionally partner with a poet. “He said I want you’re beautiful to be an old song to them”🥺.....Lord I’ve seen what you’ve done for Jackie, it’s me again😂😂😂😂 Great content Perry family🙌🏾🤸🏾♀️
Sis...same prayer, all the way in Africa!
What are y’all doing in preparation while waiting for the Lord to answer?
@@bamto1619 What are y’all doing in preparation while waiting for the Lord to answer?
Honestly, @Jordyn White, I'm practicing being the Proverbs 31 wife...so that, when he finds me, he finds a good thing 🙂
How about you..?
Although I'm not a parent, this video blessed me. When Jackie said God basically told her cousin, "CALM DOWN I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU DO" literally made me shed tears..... I've been praying for a friend for years and I've felt like I hadn't said and/or done enough, but those words jumped from this video to my ears and spoke in volumes I've never felt or heard!! Those 9 words help to put a lot of things in perspective for me.
I thank you for sharing!
Blessings to you all!
Oh my!!! I was just asking God to help me balance my parenting bc I grew up in the “shut the hell up” generation and the “because I said so” generation and my son is inquisitive and likes to know more and no why. I want to teach him how to be respectful but to not silence his voice!!! I want him to be confident but not arrogant. My husband does well with this but I struggle. This video really helped me!!! Thanks love you guys ❤️
I appreciate you guys so much! Great content.
Jackie’s ‘Amen’ at 12:55 😆
was looking for this comment 😂😂
That ‘Amen’?
I felt that. 😂
“I don’t want beautiful to be a new song to them.” 🥺
“And if you keep talking crazy we gon lay hands on you.... in Jesus Name” 😩😂🙌🏾
I scrolled down just to look for this comment🤣🤣🤣
Thank you so much that is really where I have been. My husband and I have 6 children 3 girls and 3 boys and thank God he is showing us these things now, our oldest is 14 and unfortunately I was so caught up getting my Master’s that I lost sight of what was really important and although it was necessary but not more important than my babies and now God is helping us deal with ourselves and our own upbringing so that we can be the parents HE called us to be. This was amazing thank you so much.
This was excellent! Love Preston’s perspective-we as black parents tend to “tough love” so our kids aren’t shocked by it in the world at large. This conversation is so rich and needed for young black families.
Everything Jackie said! Not just being close to slavery, sharecropping was STILL slavery as far as I'm concerned. My great grandpa is still alive and we all see how his sharecropping history has affected us all.
Tough love is counterintuitive and perpetuates cycles. Home should be the safe place to heal the wounds the world may have given you, not a toxic battle ground.
I think some people say they're preparing their kids, but really they just don't know how to be nice.
It hurts when you realize the flaw in the logic or how it continues.
I'm glad God is showing us these things.
Edit: the gap anecdote got me in my feelings for some reason lol
Wow...that piece about never wanting to not tell your daughters what they have longed to hear their entire life🔥🔥🔥.
I felt that 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽.
Thank ya’ll for sharing this much needed information.
Word!!! I love everything about this! Especially the talk back part! I felt like my mom would shut me down all the time and tell me I was talking back because she didn't want to hear what I had to say but I legitimately was trying to tell her why I felt or did whatever I did. And over time I stopped trying to express myself and I did shut up and shut down and this became the way I expressed myself as an adult. Praise God those chains are being broken. I had an amazing mom don't get me wrong but this is the way she was taught as well. You guys are point on.
I had the same experience with my gap as well! I wanted to get mines closed and a friend of mines said why? Its a part of your personality and it makes you stand out. 💕 From then on every time I had the thought, I remembered what she said. And because of that,, I never got it closed.
Amen.😏
I know exactly what you mean, in the haitian community I think it’s worst “keep your mouth shut”
@@mimied6058 yeah,...I think you do have it worst, but you are strong people.:)
This is so random but y'all skin is so healthy and clear lol! Awesome conversation as well!
I initially clicked on the video to hear you both talk about your beautiful girls BUT God had me click to hear him to speak to me through you both. I have an adult daughter and she is currently expressing herself honestly about my parenting skills as of late. I’ve apologized and ask for forgiveness. I told her I am flawed and mommy’s make mistakes too. Long story short, I didn’t deflect her feelings back on her but received how she felt and accepted it. A work in progress... I loved it when said, God loves our children more than we do. I’ve had to learn to let go of my daughter when she became an adult and give her back to Him. It’s not been easy but it’s allowed me to give it to my Father who knows what’s best for her more than I do. Apologies for the long comment. Thank you again for the vid! It blessed me!
Thanks for saying this 💛
@Ardria, you are a great parent❤. Most parents don't even the capacity to accept that kids have a voice too and listen without being defensive or dismissive.
That "Go back upstairs" with the LOOK while Jackie pointed the way back upstairs was key to their video.
Preston's prayer at the end tho🤣🤣🤣🤣❤
Not even married yet but y’all BLESSED me!! 👂🏾
Me and my husband are 5 months pregnant and I am rewatching this to keep the jewels y’all dropped shiny. ✨ Thank y’all! 🙏🏾
I have 3 girls ages 17, 14 & 2 and when I tell you that every single thing you guys are saying, that is exactly the direction I went in my Parenthood because I remember that my parents did not let us speak at all growing up. They never said it but it was basically a children should be seen and not heard type upbringing, which never sat well with me as a child and I always thought I was crazy for wanting to say my piece until I grew up and realized that holding things in is unhealthy and my emotions and my feelings should be nourished and not silenced, yet there are those times when you're so fed up with your child you can't speak or you don't want them to speak at that moment which is totally understandable.
I gave my girls every opportunity to come to me with no judgment and still they have a hard time doing so, so I'm not trying to be negative, but I guess it just didn't work for me and I'm struggling with raising two teen girls and a 2-year-old. My 14-year-old won't tell me things until 2 years later and I'm left asking her, what do you want me to do with that??? She's got saved at the age of six which is the age I got saved and the devil has really been after that child because she had so much fire in her for the Lord and all of the sudden she shut down, so it's also important to know that regardless of how you raise your children, you will have those times where you have to literally go to war with the enemy over your child. I think my mistake was, I was so caught up in raising them and making sure that they were heard that I didn't necessarily fight for them when things were okay...fight for them in advance which is a big mistake as a Christian because we should always be in fight mode spiritually. We're constantly at war with the enemy because his main goal is to seek, kill and destroy and that's exactly what he's been trying to do with my girls. I feel like I kind of in a way got a second chance with my 2-year-old because I'm now more mature in my natural and way more mature in my spiritual. To anyone who is reading this message please make sure that you keep a balance with your kids and understand that your children are God's first so let God work in their life. If you see that they are doing something that you completely don't approve of yes you correct that with love but don't correct so much that God doesn't have an opportunity to step in and take control. That is key!!
I love how Jackie always says "When I was in the world". I love how so intentional but subtle ,natural yet simply exemplifies that we aren't of the world!!
It always reminds me how Good God is and I love it when she says that!
That portion in “talking back” was so good, I tried explaining this to a friend and I didn’t articulate well. Now I can send them this!
I really appreciate this video. It was much needed and made me tear up as a mother with 4 kids, and my husband not always on the same page when it comes to me being a Godly parent. Please pray for him if anyone is reading this. Thank you guys. I admire you both.
Praying!
@@aneesahbarnes1038 thank you!!! ❤️
I've prayed🙏
@@thisisjudith thank you so much!! God bless you!
God loves them(our children) more than we do. Powerful!!!
We need more on this subject. Expand on "mean mothers". It is a thing.
Oh, please do!!!!
Congrats on what you’re trying to do it pays off. I’m currently 17 and my parents raised me similarly. At home my opinions and feelings ALWAYS mattered and I’ve always felt comfortable to talk to my parents (when I don’t that’s my own shame and not because of how they are).
This way of parenting has made hard situations in my life easier than it is for most people!
Simple wisdom, simple wisdom. I can't go back (I have 4 grown children), but it helps to understand and also to share. God bless you both and your family. Your realness is also refreshing. ❤
This was a necessary and amazing dialogue. Millennial parenting at its best. 💯🙏🏾 Eden, Autumn, and Sage are covered and blessed.
I LOVE THIS!!! So rich! Your girls are so blessed to have yall as parents 💯
I have one daughter who is now 18 and its only by the grace of God we made it this far lol cause this parenting thing ain't easy!
This was such a great conversation. So many good points! So encouraging.Thank you ❤
So good! Thank you. I often fear for my teenager and whether God will save him, and I shouldn't because I know God is in control, but I do try to sew those seeds and pray for him constantly. It's good to be reminded that I can't save him! Trust God 🙏🏻
I've come across this channel a hand full of times, but never clicked.i currently have a mess going on and I love to see how things get done differently by others. Operating out of dysfunction is real and so many never notice until it's called to the carpet.
Wow.. m Jackie when you talked about how your cousin prayed for you and she felt like her prayers for you weren't enough....tears this is too profound🙌
Jackieeeeee!!!! Your gap is soooo beautiful!!! I am so happy your father and your husband reminded you!!!!❤❤❤
Wow, the part about parents not be able to tell the difference between talking back and a child asserting/ expressing their self, I felt that! It really has given me a different perspective on how to deal with my 5 yo son because you’re right. How is he supposed to know what he is saying is taking back unless someone teaches him, because ultimately, I do want him to feel that it’s okay to express himself but in that, there is a right and wrong way to do so, This video has really grown me up as a parent. I thank God that I came across this video! As you continue to fill others, may God fill your cup so that you may overflow!
20 year old me appreciates this video. these are words i hope to remember if i ever have children, thank you 💛
This is so good. I have 3 girls: 14,12 and 9 and a boy who is 7. This stage of parenting is THE HARDEST ONE YET. All of the hormones and attitudes and fighting. Help me Lord. I have no sisters and I err on the side of "suck it up, you'll be fine. " I grew up in a somewhat volatile household so I think my need for everyone to "be ok" and "handle themselves" is showing itself REAL BIG lately. The loud voices and feelings stress me out bigtime and I am desperate to shut it down or escape immediately. Thank you for the reminder to lean in. To be a safe place. I hope I haven't messed it up.
My mother had 4 kids too and we're now (relatively) grown up (well I'm the youngest and I'm almost 18 so😂). I'm not close to being a parent but as a former child, I think I can speak from experience. My mother told me that we went through a phase like the exact one you described rn lol, we fought all the time it's not even a joke. I think recognizing that it's just a phase that'll pass will help make it more bearable. Try to hear out both sides of their 'arguments' though and don't just dismiss it as smth useless lest the kids feel like their views aren't being heard out (there were many times as a child I felt like my parents didn't her me out enough and it hurt) and encourage forgiveness and kindheartedness. Sometimes my mother would just make us hug after a fight or try and help us see the silliness in it all😂 Or she'd give us smth to bond over, you get the point. But yeah, I just wanted to encourage you to keep parenting them in the Lord and if they act like they hate each other rn, trust me it'll pass (when I was like 9 I swore I hated my sister but she's my best friend rn😂). I pray for the best for you and your family! God bless.
Excellent points; raising my current 4 year old going on 40…I am challenged and stretched every day…creating the environment for her to be fully and authentically herself and to truly walk alongside her as “footprints” in the earth just as God is my “footprints!”
Umh umh!!! Amen, what a word. In the black home anything a child say when I was growing up was talking back....when they really may just be trying to express their feelings Amen....knowing that God allows us through prayer to express everything to Him.
Post traumatic slavery disorder: You are a blessing to all of us in your love for Jesus and your clear eyed perspective.
Thank y'all for showing up!!! ❤
Whew my God !!! Come on with a word Preston!!! Whew 😥 the way he talked about his daughters and being valued and know you are worthy and you’re beautiful ❤️ I love them man the way the both talked about parenting is well said !!! My God 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I would love for @Mrskevonstage to interview yall on #TheLoveHour on this topic. This is golden.
They’d be so great on that show!
Yess!
@Eve Angélique I remember. I heard it live. It's sad that we have so many people that didn't receive her honesty. I appreciate her ministry.
bruh Preston from the side, shows how much Eden favors him, CRAZYYYY
And Sage
Right! I was thinking the same thing!
Praise God for this! I am not even a parent (just an older sibling, who often feels like one because my mother passed away while I was young) and this very sobering and comforting.
I often worry about my siblings but the reminder that God loves them more than I do feels like a most soothing balm for my anxious heart concerning them. God bless you for sharing! May more grace, more wisdom, more of every goodness of God be granted unto you and all your family in Jesus name.
Thank you Perrys for sharing how you are being parents to your beautiful children through Christ. God is such a good good Father! ❤️🤗
Did Jackie just start singing Lianne La Havas during the prayer??? That’s my jam right there 🙌🏼🙌🏼
The videography, the wisdom, the parenting put on display... I’m here for all of it. Love y’all, thanks for sharing your nuggets!
I really needed this one today. I have a two year old too and I felt really overwhelmed today 😭😭😭 Thank you and God bless you and your entire family
It's the prayer at the end for me though. Too real 😊
Guys... I love this chat. Though my son is only 2 I am learning these lessons. The mirror of my relationship with God and the grace, patience, love, discipline given to me to that of my son is what is guiding me. Pure truth. Thanks for sharing.
Lol that moment when they were like: “Pause, Eden go back upstairs”🤣🤣🤣
You guys are really doing a nice job parenting wow ❤️🥺
Loved all of this. I am trying to do all of these same things for my daughter. It too, worry about how my own issues will affect her, but what I find is that being a parent who is having to lay down her pride and selfishness on a regular basis, God is refining me. I’m far from perfect but parenting is bringing me closer all the time.
From your social media and hearing this, I see why God saw fit to bless you all with children. Y’all are graced for this! Great reflections.
I love the “put together” realness of you both. You both have different opinions and still support one another.
I'm an adult and many times I still stuggle with speaking to my parent out of fear that was instilled in me at Eden's age. My expression was often deemed disrespectful back-talk. Wow. I sometimes STILL shut down or remain silent to avoid conflict. In many ways that's spilled over into other areas where I'm required to respect authority. I constantly pray that God continues to help me evolve out of this into a stronger person who can give my opinion without feeling like I have to diminish myself for someone else to feel powerful.
Being a single Mother whom overcame the absence of my earthly Father to now parenting 2 daughters whose Fathers are also not involved, this blessed me greatly! Thank you.
Thank you for this. I'm 22 years old and my daughter is just over 1. I feel the weight of practicing all of the things you two listed while my husband and I ourselves are growing up... Lord, help us. So thank you :)
The part about value and worth, wow. I love that so so much! I also grew up without my dad. I really appreciate your wisdom. My husband and I have been married 5 years this month, 2 kids with a 3rd on the way similar ages of yours. I love how this video isn't even just about the day to day but really big picture. I also loved the part about crying. My oldest is almost 4 and is definitely an emotional little boy. Sometimes I get so frustrated but I need to remember that he's created uniquely and it's ok to feel especially at home.
I needed to hear all of this soooo much! Thank you Jesus for this timely message and speaking to so many hearts through your children and leaders.
You guys are so intentional about your parenting. It’s beautiful.
Wish I had heard this as I was parenting my kids in their formative years.I just keep praying that I did my best.
Your wise advice is appreciated though.May God bless and direct you in your parenting journey.
Thanks Jackie and Preston Perry. This has been another confirmation of God's goodness and grace to me as his child while also being a good good Father to my son too. My son is Autistic and I am in constant dialogue with God about how to parent well as well as asking why? And how? And when? God also reminds me frequently (when I am freaking out about what the purpose is and how will his life turn out) that he Loves my son more than me and he needed him in the world at this time for his Glory and though it is difficult beyond words God is Fathering me through it. So thanks again for this. It was worth hearing again from human mouths
Love how Daddy Preston keeps on mentioning “I feel .....I feel.....”
❤️❤️❤️.You great brother!
I soooo needed to hear this!! With tears streaming down my face I want to say thank you!!! I was being so hard on myself thinking I was all alone and messing up everything. But I'm not...I have God my Father!!!
What original content this channel is very good, it will become one of the best channels of youtube
i love these principles!! the point on getting told at home that you are beautiful and worthy before getting it anywhere else is a big AMEN!
More grace to this couple 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽. Not a parent yet , I got so much from this. I love gaps, I don't have one love seeing it so beautiful. God is still parenting parents. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
This was really good... I have 3 children that adults now. Wish this was around during my time. I bless the Lord that this encourage and help the young parents
So on point. So real. I truly needed this.
Thank you both so much.
greattttt stuffff! Literally had me crying. all of the trauma that has haunted me for 33 yrs of my life because coming from a broken family and then feeling unsafe with a mom who knew no different, and the enemy worked through her to destroy me. i fought so hard and in my darkest and lowest times, it brought me to Jesus! hallelujah! he's been working on me and molding me, it's been a process. but hearing you guys speak on it so well, and on the same page. wow! you literally expressed everything I feel in my heart. and now I have words to put it in. thanks!!
So timely!!!! Thanks Perry's❤
I’m the same age as you both, and my daughters are 4 and 5. This is EXACTLY how I try to parent them. I’m in the process of divorce and it has caused me to develop this insecurity about parenting them because I know that they are starting out in a broken home. Their dad can’t even articulate his own emotions, how’s he going to help them process theirs? Will he tell them they’re beautiful and make them feel special? I have no idea... they witnessed abuse and I don’t know how it’s affected them.
But this video was so encouraging to me. It reminded me to continue to parent from a place of gentleness and with intention. (Something I just talked with my therapist about yesterday!) God loves my babies more than I do, and I need to trust Him. I appreciate the emphasis you put on being aware of our children’s emotions, especially if it appears that they’re acting out. I haven’t spanked my kids in a while because most of their behavior is explained once I stop and sit down with them and reassure them and let them speak. It’s amazing how much insight you can get from a child if you just take the time to hear them and acknowledge the fact that they are each individuals, who have the desire to be known and understood. Thank you both so much, God bless you and your family.
Wow, this was amazing. Took notes to apply in my parenting. You guys are a huge blessing to so many. Thank you!
Thank you both for expressing and explaining so much. God bless your family. To him that is able to keep us... Be all glory...
This was sooooo timely!!! Thank you for being so down-to-earth and real- yet spiritual. I have teenagers still at home, and this was definitely encouraging.
God bless you guys on your journey as parents! So much wisdom shared. I love it❤👏
Thank you for this word of encouragement! ❤️
This was so important to hear for our community and culture today. May God bless you both and give you continued wisdom in your journey as parents
I love you guys, thank you for sharing this wisdom. God bless you and may he give you the wisdom to bring up your children in the right way
I would LOVE more parenting videos from my favorite Perrys! Praying for your marriage, family and influence. Grateful for your wisdom and openness!
This really hit ! Love y’all !
Thank you guys for your vulnerability!! This really blessed my life and my future family lives.
I’ve 👏🏾 been 👏🏾 wai👏🏾ting for you all to make this video! Thank you for this!
Wow this really blessed me so much. Thank you for sharing.
God Bless you guys . You guys are a blessing !
I just open 1 of your videos this morning and I am literally listening to u the hold day now.