Are Relationships and Marriage Dying in Gen Z?
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- čas přidán 2. 08. 2024
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Is Gen Z commitment-phobic, or are they simply more pragmatic? This video dives deep into the realities of Gen Z's relationship dynamics, addressing misconceptions about their declining marriage rates, chaotic dating scene, and the phenomenon some call the "sexodus." With mating being a biological drive, we need to understand what truly affects Gen Z's approach to relationships and marriage. I'm Adam Link Smith, an attachment specialist with over 15 years of experience in relationships and psychology. I'm here to shed light on these issues and offer practical solutions for young people seeking romantic fulfillment.
Gen Z is often criticized for their dating habits, with Pew Research suggesting a significant disparity in relationship statuses among young men and women. While some Gen Z women date older men for stability, others are navigating a complex dating landscape where multiple women might date the same man, leaving many Gen Z men single. Despite these challenges, Gen Z women are making educated, pragmatic choices about their partners, often prioritizing stability and maturity. This practicality, however, leaves a substantial number of Gen Z men feeling excluded from the dating pool.
One major reason for Gen Z's reluctance towards marriage is their limited exposure to positive, stable marriages. Many have grown up with single parents or in multiple households, leading to broken attachments and a skeptical view of marriage. Moreover, the rise of coping mechanisms and escapism further complicates their ability to form lasting bonds. Additionally, outdated marriage laws and societal narratives discourage them from committing, fearing potential legal and emotional fallout. This environment has led to a high rate of insecure attachment among Gen Z, indicating a society in distress.
I recently discussed these themes with Kenzie Carter on my podcast, "I Wish You Knew," where she shared her success in building a fulfilling relationship and thriving in the digital age. Gen Z's resilience and innovation could lead to new family structures and relationship models, ensuring that they do not face their challenges alone. For a deeper dive into these insights, check out my podcast episode with Kenzie, linked in the description below.
If you enjoyed this video then I would recommend you give this video on avoidant attachment a watch: • Gen Z’s Outlook on Gen...
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Chapters:
00:00:00 - The Plunging Marriage Rates and Chaotic Dating Pool in Gen Z
00:02:07 - Dating Dynamics of Gen Z Men and Women
00:04:24 - The Problem of Marriage in Gen Z
00:06:30 - The Collapse of Marriage and Escapism
00:08:23 - Trust Issues with Men and Insecure Attachment in Gen Z
00:10:34 - Intergenerational Warfare and Lost Wisdom
00:12:36 - The Phenomenal Brand of Jen Z
00:14:41 - The Resilience of Gen Z
00:16:44 - The Renaissance of Marriage and Romance in Gen Z
00:18:40 - Join the Discussion
Gen z are more reliant on their parents and society. They’re told/taught “what” to think, but not “how”!
woof, big disagree there. if there's a generation that thinks for themselves, it's Z. they see through all the BS, if anything.
Perhaps that's why most of the DESPISE being told what to think?
They crave to stand for something, for a cause that unites them and makes them feel a part of something, but they are being used to support causes that aren't theirs like shoving another j4b to save grandma, or to free some country they know nothing of from rivers to seas. That's how I see your point of them being told What to think (=driven by virtue signaling), and not How to think (critically). Who is to gain from having them support a certain cause that's not theirs
@@eladbari and abortions
Id argue that shelving marriage is proof of the opposite.
Gen Z guy here-I was hesitant clicking on this video, then pleasantly surprised by how well you understand our situation, motivations, fears, etc.
Hopelessness is often a struggle, but I continue striving to improve myself (financially, emotionally, physically, competence-wise), and I believe that a better future is possible, though it may take a while and be tough to get there
I'm glad you decided to watch this video and that it resonated. Your resilience and positive outlook are inspiring and I hope you continue doing the work, because you will be a great part of that better future. What do you wish more people knew about your generation, that is often misunderstood?
@@AttachmentAdam Thank you for the reply and question, I took a few days to think about it… I wish more people understood that many members of my generation are working hard and diligently for a better life, but oftentimes it seems like that’s just not attainable. I think of friends who applied for jobs for months without hearing anything back, only to learn that many companies make fake job postings. Friends who’ve worked hard to make themselves marriage material, but cannot find someone else who is suitable and begin to wonder if they are simply unlovable. Or how lots of us are trying to build in-person relationships, but find that the norms and behaviors around socialization have shifted so much post-pandemic that many of our peers don’t even like to leave the house anymore. It’s no wonder that so many in Gen Z are just checking out, because it takes faith to believe that it will even be possible to have the sorts of fulfilling lives that our parents and grandparents experiences
I very much appreciate your input. Great job balancing everything! I believe in your generation. 🎉
I don't technically count as gen Z, I was born in '94. I will say this though. I only had to watch how my father treated my mother after she gained weight after giving birth to my little sister to realize you can literally sacrifice your entire life and body for a man, and he will still emotionally and mentally ruin you. I'm afraid of what I would do to a man who humiliated me in this way, so I have no intention to ever get married or have children.
WHICH men are going to act this way, though? My wife just had out 5th child and I'm not acting this way. Most of my friends are on 4+ kids and are faithfully devoted to their wives - that's how they got 4+ kids. So what's the variable that leads SOME men to act this way, and how can you sort them out?
You are wise. There are loads of guys who do this. They ruin womens lives. I've told my daughter to protect herself from being used and treated like trash.
@@AttachmentAdam Yes Adam I believe your story. But I think perhaps only 10% of the men in the world has the mindset like yours, to be mature and secure and be faithful to their family/wife, but about 80% of women would want a guy like that. So perhaps most women will be fall in love with a not fully trustworthy man, we still love them, because biologically straight women just love men, but, it doesn't beat the fact that a lot of men are just not good husband materials.
Dont get fat. Getting fat is a clear demonstration, by her, that she was treating him poorly first. She used him to get the kids she wanted, then shut everything down. She caused it. And ruined your life in the process.
Hi Gen X here raising a daughter gen Z, the words you have said about don't trust men and have ur financial independence .have been said afew times by me.....its scary how we shape the next generation without even trying.
Yet another great video thanks help a lot to understand them.
Relationships and marriage have been dying off for millennials way before GEN Z.
It's true that relationship dynamics have been evolving over time. Economic pressures, changing social norms, and shifting cultural norms all play a role.
Which generation are you, and what trends have you been seeing in your social circles regarding relationships and marriage?
Been dying since the 1950s when a certain "revolution" happened
@@DoubleOhSilverCapitalism probably pushed that 'Revolution'
@@AttachmentAdam I'm a millennial but first generation Canadian/North American and most people my age are married around me, the generations before me were arranged marriages. I just keep meeting avoidant men, my dad is emotionally avoidant. To not be anxious I also learned to be avoidant and that makes whoever I am dating anxious.
@@DoubleOhSilver i don't know but the men who I'd dated, their parents are divorced and they don't want to get married.... in 2 instances it's the dad left their mom for another woman.
What I love about your content is it’s all about understanding each other, not how to point to the other person and put them at fault.
Thank you, I appreciate that! What's your favorite video so far?
@@AttachmentAdam Communicating with Avoidants. Your suggestion helps!
My mom wanted me to get married and become a DINK but was strongly against me having kids since they ruin your life and I should focus on having a fun career and travel and party alot. I got the feeling that she regretted having kids.
It sounds like your mom had strong opinions about how she envisioned your life. What are your own values and desires, and do they align with your mother's expectations?
…and apparently don’t have good boundaries with them either.
Boomer mom here of a Gen Z son (26). Thank you for this topic.
I'm amazed and encouraged at how determined, optimistic and focused my son is, and his 3 Gen Z roommates have been. It's really impressive. They see the sky is the limit and they ARE there for each other - as you predicted for the future. My son had met lots of women, but it seems the women are definitely playing their odds. He finds them (he lives in a college town location) to be fairly flighty. He's definitely had some heartache over it. And yet, I think he knows in that atmosphere his odds of long-term success are low. He's moving back to where he was raised and is looking forward to a fresh start in his creative work and endeavors. We never stopped the conversation as mother and son. It's just evolved into two adults with their own knowledge bases. I learn from him now as well and we continue to grow in our relationship which I feel is helping to develop the new model for Gen Z rltnshps. Parents, keep talking with, not at, your grown children. It's so rewarding seeing your grown children making their way in the world, fearlessly. ❤
I'm Gen Z and I'm just going to get my first job to play video games and travel and go to events while the world "Burns in the background of my life" we don't truly care about politics we just want these politicians to not get in the fun we try to make in this destruction of a society
You were completely on point as always. I'm speechless. Thank you for understanding our generation 👏👏
Thank you so much for your feedback, I appreciate that!
I'm not sure what gen I am but I'm in my late 20s, I gave up dating when I was 18 and never went back so I'm hoping the younger generation can find peace and cope properly because once you give up on dating and relationships its almost impossible to want one later in life.
Gen Z woman here 👋 I clicked on this video expecting to have 5 point rebuttal by the end but I was happily surprised to hear my generations struggles and mindset so perfectly articulated. So thank you.
I did hear the “men are terrible, don’t trust them” not only from mom but also dad. Definitely a little terrifying growing up when the only thing that two split parents seem to agree about was that relationships in general- shouldn’t be trusted.
The ones i met in their early 20s couldn't do addition and subtraction and had no idea where things are. They'll need a great deal of learning and history before they can fix things.
What would you say their priorities were at that time?
I'm a millenial man that worked with a lot of Gen Zs (waiting/bartending)
It was a pleasure and a concern to teach Gen Z teens how to read an analogue clock...
There were more concerns (primarily negative self talk and assumptions of other people) that I was able to help them with and to be honest, I felt good helping those with similar problems I still have.
I give Gen Z a lot of shit (rightfully) but there is still hope for them. Unfortunately, I'm still working on removing those negatives beliefs within me. Sometimes I see myself as a surrogate father to them and I guess that is sufficient to keep me from throwing my life away.
That's a failing of the parents as well as the school.
Yes my mom instilled in my mind to never trust a man fully not even your own husband….
Is that a pattern you want to continue living with?
That’s not a healthy way to grow up
I'm so sorry to hear that. A majority of men would love to find someone sweet, and that same majority would happily sacrifice themselves for that love.
Not healthy…and do you want to continue that cycle?
Adam, your last few seconds really resonated with me on an intuitive level.
I can see a world where Gen Z may "reverse adopt" some of the older generations, perhaps like adopting a father or mother who couldnt be.
"Isnt it wonderful..." Neville Goddard.
Those are profound thoughts! It's fascinating to imagine the intergenerational dynamics shaping our future.
I can't get a date! I go out, spend my breaks and nights swiping away on dating apps, and I just get nothing but rejections. I have a lot of friends both male and female and they say I'm a decent guy, I personally believe I have a lot to give in a relationship, and yet here I am, in another CZcams comment section talking about being single. Literally just asking for a chance here.
Wow, Adam, this is such trenchant language from you. I agree with everything you're saying, I'm just surprised to hear you speak this strongly about it - not like you at all. Things must be really, really bad.
Thank you for sharing this feedback and perspective. What was it that made you reach this conclusion?
@@AttachmentAdam Phrases like "picking through the rubble" and "survival mode". And that amazing statistic: two out of three have insecure attachment! Older generations really failed at raising their kids.
Great survey, by the way. You summarised about forty other videos and blog posts that I have watched on this topic by people like Louise Perry and Mary Harrington and Alex Kaschuta and Stella Tsantekidou and Tove K (Wood From Eden).
You are optimistic, but the odds are stacked against Gen Z. There will be more boomers and Gen X and Millennials than them for their entire working lives. Getting things changed will be hard.
I believe in you, Gen Z! From another Gen: I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love your Gen 😊❤✨️
They're really awesome, and I know they have a lot of potential. Can't wait to see what they do.
This was crazy amazing. Wish I had something smart to ask or add. I’m a boomer just booming through my day.
Glad you enjoyed it! Which part stood out the most to you or was the most interesting?
@@AttachmentAdam that Z’s are gonna rewrite the rules and conditions! As a single grandmother of 16, mother of 6, I feel it applies to me as well. And I do hope to relisten and take notes!
@@jeanettebrooks1963 wow, now that's the spirit! That's no avarage boomer anymore, that's full on Bloomer attitude!
Still in the game, learning and adapting to new trends.
I believe with the rise of the digital age and ease of connection you may as well have a key role to play in the upcoming renaissance.
Digitalisation may reverse the catastrophic trend of extended families breaking away from each other due to job opportunities since the industrial revolution.
The clan structures are making a comeback with a fresh new edition. They will need your perspective, wisdom and care too 😊
@@janosd4nuke very well said, beautiful!
@8:00 the state doesn't have a default prenup on file. They will produce one during the divorce process per the rules at that time and jurisdiction, but it will likely be substantially different than the current rules.
As you said, they have a set equation they're going to run and sort out upon you. You'll be subject to a prenup equation created by the state and dictated to you by the court. Why not create one together that works in good faith?
@@AttachmentAdam agreed. I was pointing out that marriage without a prenup is like signing a contract before it is written. Who knows what the laws will be in 20 years.
Now this is an excellent analogy. Thank you.
David Straight talks about the state owning the marriage (if you go the legal route which separates husband and wife inherently in the contract as a third party with the state on top). It's more akin to they own your marriage not you and your spouse. You can form your own contracts, you just have to educate yourself on it and it can go very deep
Has there always been a disparity between same age men and women in relationships? Has it become larger?
Hi, Gen z girl here , to answer your question if my mom told me to avoid men, she didn't. She's been really supportive when I told her I wanted to get married some day and want that for me.
However she has told me what I can only call horror stories about her grandmothers marrige, which probably has shaped my view of it more than I realise.
And how did it affect your opinions of marriage?
Hello again😊,
I mostly see marriage as something positive. But I know that a lot of hurt can come out of it if you marry someone who is manipulative or abusive or just someone you're not compatable with. And part of me is scared of getting hurt.
For a gen J (Jurassic) dude like me, the institution of marriage is dead due to the potential complete financial ruin it can yield. I've been through it, not fun. Until family laws and/or outcomes aren't adjusted to modern 'independent' men and women society, marriage is and will always be a liability contract people sign when they're less capable of signing it, i.e. when they are in love. The key is always 'know thyself' - something that never exists before at least 50 years old. Older generations made it work for many reasons but who can tell they were happy?
Yes, you’re so right about that modern life affected men and women in their relationships so deeply
Hello Adam, having some energy today I'm responding to your request
(even if I am not gen Z, born in 1992, so I think I'm a millenial):
women in my family do not scare me of men, but only one does:
my mother. Since I remember, to this day she is very aggressive about the message
"do not trust men", "he has to do all the work otherwise he ain't worth it",
"all men are the same....they're bad" and when my bf (anxious avoidant plus a very sensitive person)
had first time of needing space but did push me out of being overhelmed,
my mother immediately criticized him like he just robbed my possesion or something...
it was awful, I had to stand my ground dyplomatically during these several days...
even if you asked gen Z women, we all need to be aware that mindsets and behaviour
are passed down through generations, we need to keep that in mind.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences, Marta. It's important to recognize how family dynamics and generational attitudes can influence our perceptions and relationships!
Relationships don't work anymore because people make it so about the feels. Marriage is what happens after the wedding day, yet most in our generation only prepare to up to the wedding day. Romcoms and the illusion of choice has blinded whole generations. Not that the desire for fairytale love did not exist in the past, but people were more practical then, perhaps out of necessity.
I don't disagree. Unrealistic expectations can definitely take a toll on any relationship, especially if there's a lack of open, honest communication about each partner's needs. Do you believe a marriage or relationship should be more practical than emotional?
22m I'm so lonely. I'm trying so hard to meet women, though I have the emotional discipline to not be overbearing. I'm handsome, in good shape, I'm intelligent, I'm pretty sure I'm securely attached or at least pretty close. I have all these great qualities and I'm not arrogant because of it, but I'm just not able to get on any actual dates. I feel like if I could just make it to the date part I could show all of my great qualities, but I don't feel like I'm being given a chance. It could be that I'm just not great at talking to women, but I also feel like women my age are just not friendly. I'm finding it really hard to get women to open up enough that I can make a connection. Sometimes there really is no connection and I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. I'm not even being overly picky. I'll take a bad date just for the experience. I'm training to run a marathon, so I'm no stranger to adversity. I'm truly in despair, but I have to keep trying just like I have to keep running.
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. It sounds like you're putting in a lot of effort to meet someone special. Don't give up and if you ever need any guidance or support, feel free to email me at support@adamlanesmith.com
@@AttachmentAdam I met a girl the other night while doing line dancing lessons. She lives on a farm. We texted back and forth last night. It's hard to know a lot about her after one night and some texts, but she seems like a really wholesome girl. She said there's a lot of weird guys at the bar. I hope I can gain her trust.
26M, I've accepted that women worth marrying in my age bracket have so many options that I am disposable to them. I'm focusing on my hobbies and building up my finances in hope of early retirement/starting a solo game dev studio
WHICH women are chasing disposable options, and which women are seeking genuine substance? That's the major question here.
63F. This is SO freaking sad.
If I had a grandson your age, I would be crying.
Many men refuse to marry for fear of financial ruin post divorce. This is equally sad & disgusting
@@2ndChanceAtLife It is what it is. They treat me like I'm disposable because to them I am disposable. Any girl I'm interested in marrying will likely have a line of men taller and wealthier than me lined up already. To them I am disposable, but to myself I am irreplaceable. I hope my art will be appreciated by the world one day and people in the future won't have to live under the set of lies that were imposed on my generation that lead to this mess.
Go for an elder millennial girl bosses. Were mid 30s but have only dealt with men who spent the last 20 years gaming and not growing (generally not all). Most are also pragmatic
@@hspinnovators5516 well I'll keep it in mind, but I tend to do a lot of gaming myself, so I don't know if it'll work out
They have 24/7 corn now. That takes away 90% of the drive
That's an interesting perspective. Do you think it's the brain chemistry changing entirely or that they just don't feel the need to get into relationships when there's an easy dopamine fix?
@@AttachmentAdam they're pretty much the first generation with access 24/7. Just a couple generations ago it was around but it wasn't 24/7. It was something you would see on occasion or you had to go looking for it. When you don't have those sexual experiences constantly, it motivates you to get it in real life. But if you have it 24/7 with women that are all 10s and you would never have the game for in real life, it takes away all motivation. Plus the ones in real life that would be your match aren't exactly compelling at this point either. You're basically spoiled.
It really doesn't. There's no bonding, no emotion, it's just mechanical sexual release. It's a symptom, not the cause. I am anti-porn, but for different reasons. Korea, China, Thailand, Turkey and many other countries all have made pornography is illegal and the gender-relations are worse and the fertility rate is much worse or only slightly higher than ours with a similarly declining marriage rate.
I'm 43 and as a kid we had pretty simple access to all the same porn online today. I worked at a video store with a back room that can confirm this :D
It wasn't that expensive either, especially compared to dating. If you think dating is in trouble now, wait till fully autonomous robots become affordable :s
@@vvolfflovv cell phones didn't exist back then
Sexodus is such an unexpected pun (and in all honesty pretty good
My bf is avoidant gen z I'm a millennial and we are working through a lot of these things. Id like more information about relationship models.
You mean generational models?
Relationship models can be complex, especially across generational differences. Stay tuned for more!!
Ultimately there will be some kind of conservative backlash, this is inevitable. But how this will play out will be chaotic and unpredictable in it's details. The multicolored flag and all the forms of vice encouraged, especially towards women, will not last, it's a dead man walking. Demographics is one of the obvious hard stops to this. This may take a lifetime to play out.
Hopefully the gen z gen will be the one who refuses to fight the wars of "others".
That would in itself be the accomplishment of a generation. And they would be the true heroes.
That would indeed be a monumental shift and a positive legacy for Gen Z!!
What hit Millennials is hitting Gen z at 3x the speed and 10x the impact
But it's the jaded truth we all have surrenderd to instead of questioning the reality (that's not real) handed down to us all by the boomers
The impact of generational shifts on relationships is just fascinating! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!
I'm a millenial (though I feel more like a zillenial), but my mom definitely tried to scare me intonnot trusting men. Fortunately my dad did and is still doing a grea job as a dad, person and husband, so I knew better
This sounds awful, and I am so glad to hear your dad countered this message. Many women do not have a good father to balance out the fear from mom. What did your dad do that helped you see the truth?
@@AttachmentAdam he was quite logical, supportive both to me and his now ex wife, caring, worked on himself, acknowledged his mistakes and always wanted to solve issues instead of throwing them under the rug
Do you think non-hetero relationships among Gen Z women also contribute to the different rates of partnership compared to men?
Your question is thought-provoking. How do you see these dynamics influencing broader societal trends?
marriage is a partnership of necessity born out of pre-industrial era environmental pressures (teenage women with children couldn't survive without a husband and men needed children to help them with/take over the farm). most gen z-ers are in long-term, committed relationships with their phones. why would they cheat on the internet with a human that doesn't know anything, isn't very useful or interesting and doesn't do exactly what they want? humans are soo last millennium.. even their bosses are breaking up with them.
You bring up an interesting perspective on the evolution of relationships and how modern technology impacts them. How do you see the balance between technology and human relationships evolving in the future?
Seems pretty obvious to me. The vast majority of Gen Z had working mothers.
Working mothers are increasing in number. How do you think this applies to Gen Z's perspective on marriage?
My mom used dad as a walking atm and she abandoned him on his deathbed
I'm truly sorry to hear about what your dad and you have gone through. That sounds like an incredibly painful experience. It's important to take the time to process this and seek support where you can.
Feel free to reach out to me through support@adamlanesmith.com for personalized guidance and support.
I'm a year 2000 Gen Z, and I have plenty of friends from high school that have already married up and went on to have kids..
From my experience, guys have mainly rotted their prefrontal cortexes from porn so much they don't even desire physical intimacy anymore. (Hence why they're turning from relationships.)
Idk if I should even keep this routine up. It's just draining me.
Whenever we decide to give the "good guy" a chance, he just ends up using us to boost his ego so he can go pursue a more attractive woman. And I feel like I just end up getting overlooked..
What specific variables do you track in men to see if they are going to be like this? And what variables tell you a man is better than this?
@AttachmentAdam Idk, but usually if a guy tries to emulate what he sees in porn or can't ejaculate from regular intercourse then that's a pretty clear sign of porn addiction. I try to steer clear of this but it hasn't been easy.
@AttachmentAdam Men that aren't addicted to porn won't try to objectify you and will actually spend more time with rather than just sexually.
@@FoxyWhispersYou state the things above are what you are looking for? When you are dating do you clearly state those expectations and hold men accountable. Do you challenge those men to face their fears. This is what most men want or more specifically need to challenge them to grow.
It also demonstrates what kind of a person you are and your value. At the same time, if you are looking and you initiate these discussions that get to the heart of what you are looking for are you ready to take accountability for things in your life, because it is likely that this type is going to also have high standards and hold you to those standards to help you grow.
Finally everyone has a past, everyone so what is the trajectory and vision that person is on and what are they doing to grow? At the end of their life, when they look back on it as if they were watching a movie what would they want, and the same question for you what would you want. What will move you in that direction?
I'm not trying to throw shade or start a fight, but you should look at some of her comments on yt and her twitch. She said some very disparaging things about men. While i empathize with the poster, i would also recommend she works on herself to be more kind and a better person. An example(not the poster of course) but an OF girl screaming she cant find a good man, meanwhile men that have an honor code and some type of morality(aka the men she would be attracted to) would largely avoid said OF girl.@AttachmentAdam
A fascinating view of Gen Z and their relational outlook. I would like to offer this viewpoint on relationships from the perspective of women. Firstly our world is an imperfect, unbalanced and unfair world. From the day you are born - you may inherit inferior genetics, family financial and psychologically nurturing environment. Being a female we are the only ones who can bring a human life into this world and it requires a lot from the mother, bodily beauty is damaged often through the stretching of skin to carry a baby, mentally and emotionally taxing as well as being seen to be inferior to a career woman. A man prizes his finances and wants a woman to throw away security in her own career to carry children for his legacy as well as hers. This should not be made to be insignificant ! For a man his body stays relatively the same in shape, size and can be attractive to find another suitable mate. This is not the case for females! Each woman’s dna determines how she carries a baby and too many end up with stretch marks and other unfortunate scars as a result of carrying a child. Worse for those who have twins or more. Why should a man protect his finances through a prenup starting a family with the mindset it’s going to fail - therefore I will protect my money with a prenup. A woman could say I will keep my career and don’t have any children to safe guard my future if you choose to leave. That way she can preserve her looks and body - sadly as so many men find that most important in a partner, she has lost an important part of herself. Add to that if they had children she is left with the majority of the care of those kids which makes it hard to find a new partner who often does not want children.
I’m sorry but I don’t agree to prenups. They cause a negative foundation of doom before you started a commitment and allows way too much ease to give up and run away. In fact it’s already a step to non commitment.
I would suggest in my humble opinion that you date a bit longer and commit with FULL TRUST that the relationship is for life. The vows ..”to love and to hold each other in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer until death do we part” is the commitment. Sometimes we have to purposely choose to be grateful for the pluses our partner has and through true love tolerate and have long suffering over the negative traits. Personally I get annoyed when men want to protect their finances and yet a woman’s beauty fades he casts her off for a new model because he can and her future after loving and trusting him to be there till the end - and having children is expendable. I say time you men practice nobility and commitment to honoring the female who sacrifices so that a human can have a human life! She is a goddess every human must have a mother to inherit life on earth. Time to honor that as the most magical mysterious creative gift worth more than money.
Is it not realistic for Gen Z to link up with a millennial or Gen X? Now, that being said, I (Gen X female) have personally been in a situationship with a 20-something male and he is a DA and so immature.
Interesting perspective on intergenerational relationships. It's important to navigate compatibility and maturity levels
Gen Z guy here i am not serious in relatiohsip let alone my parent wants me to get married i have no carreer and no jobs only have a book busniess which is not runing and i have lck of money and dont want to commit to so called relationship because it only creates chaos
It sounds like you're feeling a lot of pressure from your parents while also dealing with your own uncertainties about the future. How do you envision creating a path for yourself that aligns with your personal values and aspirations?
@@AttachmentAdam right now i dont know what to do all i am trying to do is to sell books and create music and i am not getting paid enough but so much uncertainties are there in my life honestly sometimes i feel lost
@@AttachmentAdam what i value is privacy and have aspiration of decent seller of my books and further more i am planing how to become finicially independent i am still living under parents house not able to find job either
on paper i was born in 1996 which is techinically an millennial birth year but very late so i don't identify with a millennial gen i don't even know what millennial culture or even dont know what a millennial is either i never i known the world before like this i dont know anything about what was the world pre internet and pre smartphone nearly a decade later i started using smartphones in 2007 and 2008 with andriod and iphone since then i am just a product of a social media and corporate era, as far as i remember 2008 crisis i knew about but was not working and 2020 was the great hit to me which lead more uncertainties to my present and my future, committing in a relationship is more of a mental and finicaila problem and i am not ready for that at all, it is way more stressfull
when i dig deeper and deeper i soon realised that i belong to gen z than of gen y
Im a millennial. I had a few years of normality before the dating apps came....the dark times...there is no chance for Gen Z sadly.
At least Im happy I had a few good years of dating.
What was your experience with dating apps?
As a millennial who picked badly, getting married young and having kids quickly was a horrible decision. My grandma said to hold off on having kids and I wish I did. He likes his brothers kids and wives but not us. It’s his money and his house and I’m lucky I’m allowed to live here. If I didn’t have parents who could help me pay for childcare and college I’d be screwed.
Who is he? Your baby's father?
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. It sounds like a challenging situation. Having support from your parents must be helpful during this time
@@blacksuite1 Yes. And “husband.”
There not dying, they never started in the first place. And so far, I see no reason why it will reverse, but many reasons the decline will continue to accelerate.
I'd love to hear your thoughts. What are some of those reasons?
Gen z just barely made it to adulthood. What is the rush??????
Valid point about the varying perspectives on adulthood and relationships.
It’s not all men are monsters. But you can’t trust marriage and many end and divorce. So focus on stability education and money before you settle down and choose wisely if you do.
This is the advice women have been hearing for decades. So, honest question: Do you think this approach is making women happier, or more miserable?
Second question: Women should focus on gaining stability and money from WHOM? An employer? A corporation? There is always someone on the other end, and the relationship must be considered.
I mean these questions respectfully, this is an important conversation we must be having. Women need to assess their options with objectivity.
@@AttachmentAdam "don't take risks in love" is a recipe to not get much out of love.
Don't take foolish risks is a smart approach. We need to help young women sort out which risks are foolish and which are smart. That means less fearmongering and more helping them track variables to see patterns for themselves.
Put another way - women are not stupid, they're missing the variables and aren't sure how to sort the risky men from the trustworthy ones so they're labeling all men as high-risk and backing out.
@@AttachmentAdam I hear you and I guess my point is that, when you wait until you and your mate are super financially strong and have everything sorted out, you're going to be 40, and missed out on a lot of relationship potential .
I did it the exact opposite. I fell in love at 22 we got married built our lives together (celebrating 20 years of marriage this year). We are super solid because everything we have, we built in unity. I’m not a gen Z I’m a gen X raising gen Z children. Most of my kids friends do come from broken homes (I did as well). That did not stop me from believing in men and love. In general if you lead with a pure heart heart, have good intentions using your discernment, work hard (school work etc) both women and men, things usually turn out ok.
They date older women
Interesting. Have you seen that happen in your social circles or with people you know?
@@AttachmentAdam Both - I know several married couples where the wife is older and I’ve personally been approached by younger guys
Hey adam, can you do a video or give your opinion on what's happening in china. They have whats called a "gold digger" economy, and it feels like a harbinger of whats to come in the West. It's almost as terrifying as mouse utopia.
Thank you for suggesting that. What would you like to see me specifically discuss regarding this?
@AttachmentAdam a warning and how to avoid it. China is going through the same things as the West, but it's on steroids. China's social media like weebo and doyain(spelling?) Openly advertise to women "socialite classes" which teach women how to get rich boyfriends, use them for money, and to always have a back up. This is despite the fact that China heavily censors everything in their country. Chinese women still in high school openly aspire to be "socialites."On their version of valentines Day, the garbages were overflowing with gifts and flowers, and restaurant and hotels were empty. A story went viral when a man offed himself because his girlfriend left him after using him for over $100k usd equivalent in less than two years.(The women on social media blamed the man for not spending enough, while the men blamed him for being a s*mp). It is unfortunately becoming a more common story. I don't know if it was you, but I remember someone saying what humans did to wolves to domesticate them to dogs is what women did to men. I can see the men becoming more and more frustrated and angry, to the point they're gonna become wolves again. Forgive me if I get the rebellion wrong, but it reminds me of the tianping rebellion where there were 125 men for every 100 women. Because of the lack of marriage options you had men roaming and raiding the countryside and doing things to women that rhymes with a certain fruit that comes together in bunches(don't wanna say it for CZcams censoring me). It feels like it's on the very edge, and I can definitely see that happening in the USA where there's so many cultures together(bigger chance for an exploding keg moment). No pressure, but I feel like you're one of the only people to slow down or possibly stop this gender war before it takes a serious dark turn.
@AttachmentAdam a warning and how to avoid it. China is going through the same things as the West, but it's on steroids. China's social media like weebo and doyain(spelling?) Openly advertise to women "socialite classes" which teach women how to get rich boyfriends, use them for money, and to always have a back up. This is despite the fact that China heavily censors everything in their country. Chinese women still in high school openly aspire to be "socialites."On their version of valentines Day, the garbages were overflowing with gifts and flowers, and restaurant and hotels were empty. A story went viral when a man u n a l i v e d himself because his girlfriend left him after using him for over $100k usd equivalent in less than two years.(The women on social media blamed the man for not spending enough, while the men blamed him for being a s**p). It is unfortunately becoming a more common story. I don't know if it was you, but I remember someone saying what humans did to wolves to domesticate them to dogs is what women did to men. I can see the men becoming more and more frustrated and angry, to the point they're gonna become wolves again. Forgive me if I get the rebellion wrong, but it reminds me of the tianping rebellion where there were 125 men for every 100 women. Because of the lack of marriage options you had men roaming and raiding the countryside and doing things to women that rhymes with a certain fruit that comes together in bunches(don't wanna say it for CZcams censoring me). It feels like it's on the very edge, and I can definitely see that happening in the USA where there's so many cultures together(bigger chance for an exploding keg moment). No pressure, but I feel like you're one of the only people to slow down or possibly stop this g*n*er war before it takes a serious dark turn.
I keep trying to comment but CZcams is deleting my comments. Is there another way to message you brother?
@AttachmentAdam CZcams is censoring me. Basically, it's a warning of what's to come. Just watch the videos from China observer(especially with their valentines Day disaster) and their embracing of "socialites," especially by high school age women.. I can see the men over there going for payback. I'm sorry, adam. I wish I could provide more details, but I don't want my comments deleted. Hopefully, this stays.
I remember thinking this same way in 08 about the millennial generation.
Would you say the current situation is still the same as back then or did the new generation become more disconnected?
@@AttachmentAdamI agree with this person. Younger millennials grew up in the rubble. Gen Z are the fallout mutants. Half of them are untreatable sociopaths and the other half need therapy for life. The kids coming after them are going to burn the world to the ground lol.
@@AttachmentAdam social media sped the decline up
often men call themselves single although they're dating at least one person, while women acknowledge that they're in a relationship.
Absolutely! Interesting observation on how people define their relationship status.
The only part of this video that I agree with is the fact that Gen. Z is living in the rubble of a collapsed society.
It's interesting to consider the perspectives on societal challenges. What do you think are the most significant factors contributing to these views?
@@AttachmentAdam mostly the problem with our generation is uncertainities and lack of emotional support and toxic environment and too much societal pressure we just wanted to be who are an authentic selves does not want to confirm to the number games and too much social media has destroyed my generation
Gen z? Well their are what about 4 billion women in the world gentlemen? Ladies don't you believe you deserve Commitment.? Don't know the Answer is an old boomer. Yes we f up a lot of thing my generation felt the need to break everything. Not sorry have believed all my life that this society has Ben held together with balding wire and mater of time before the all falls apart create your tribe bond as a groop men need that for all of history
The idea of creating your own supportive tribe or community is powerful and timeless. How do you think we can foster stronger commitments and communities in today's rapidly changing world?
I would center it around solving problems around lonlenes building trust around community being a socially acceptable ways of coming together without phones distracted devices.let me tell you about my little band of epacouren photography flowers we detected to making time for each other form it and produce our own food and shelter together for the out of care for each other mentally physically And always staying And Always staying in touch with the awesome thing that is we need each other the Spiritual point is each other and accept we all have gifts and weaknesses all are human .yes life is hard and accept the fact the only thing we have is each other the simplest thing becomes Sublime wen shared?!hasn't the Acer Ben that in all of history epacouren philosophy welcomed slaves and woman in a time several thousand years ago wen they had no voice
@@AttachmentAdam
Remove the internet as the glue and foster face to face human contact.
as a gen z who dated older men all men suck 😂
It sounds like you've had some frustrating experiences, and I'm sorry to hear that. What qualities are you looking for in a partner, that you aren't able to find yet?
Mr Smith, are you loosing weight?
Haha, are you noticing any changes?
I agree 100% with this video. This is why I advocate for the passport bro movement for gen z men(well men in general). They get to see a community first hand and have a relationship/marriage closer to what the boomer and silent generation had.
I'm glad you agree! That's an interesting perspective on fostering community and relationships. How do you see the Passport Bro movement benefiting men today? Would love to hear your thoughts
@AttachmentAdam traveling out of America has opened my eyes, where people have less but are so much happier than us. They have friends,neighbors and family comeover all the time(from the countries I've been to) that I don't see here in america and I don't think has happened at a common rate since the 1970s. Wanting and creating families/communities I feel is a mimetic muscle, in the same way a cat climbs up a tree and knows how to get down by watching other cats or when a cat gets stuck in a tree because there are no other cats to watch/learn from. My biggest concern is men from the red pill space destroying the dating pool and bringing that toxicity into other countries. I want to help these men find that because I believe a majority of men are good people. I worry about people like Johnny Somali poisoning that good faith well.
@@MessiahMasakado the last paragraph is my concern with the passport bros in general. These are generally about disgruntled men, who have seen women in a certain light for so long that when they go abroad, they bring that mentality along. This especially so when they go look for the same type of women they have here, i.e. those from the city who have already absorbed western culture (the Internet is a thing in most places today). From the pick up artists going and destroying communities with false promises and teaching that to the next gen, to the divorcé who already has kids and won't start a new family but want the pretty young woman for arm candy, to naive boys going and getting fleeced in Columbia and other places... I'm not sure passport bros are the solution either.