The Hidden Cost Of Being A Deep Thinker - Jordan Peterson
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- čas přidán 2. 05. 2024
- Watch the full episode here - • Jordan Peterson - The ...
Dr Jordan B. Peterson answers whether deep thinkers are more lonely. Does being a nuanced thinker result in you losing friends? What does Jordan Peterson think about only children? Does Jordan believe that it's harder to make friends as you grow? How does Jordan Peterson advise people deal with loneliness?
#jordanpeterson #loneliness #growth
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Yes. Yes we are.
Geordie lad here. Love the vibes mate :)
@@malcolmlarri8236 its not all that different in the US
*Etymology*. *Independent*nation……… *sovereign*nation….. what’s the power structure in these nations what’s the financial structure in these nations how do these nations interACT on the world STAGE. You can’t call me your royal *highness* or your *Excellency* or your right *honourable* person in a position of power or a *distinguished* person. ……….I have very little to no *power* I don’t employ anybody. *Autocracy*. Etymology…….
Yes, I am quite lonely..
"I've never met an intelligent person who wasn't troubled." It comes with the burden of thought. The more you think, the deeper you go. Lots of beauty to unlock. But also a lot of pain.
I agree. It sad in a way. Because you have so much to share but not many are interested in listening and not many value the things you do so even though you hang out and interact with people all day you come home and feel lonely anyways and eventually you don’t feel that being around certain people is worth it.
You don't get to choose to not pay a price, only which price you're going to pay. We deep thinkers believe we all thirst for and want deeper knowledge, but often at a faster pace than we're actually ready to receive it.
@@ChubakaSteven Choose I have troubles with that because in todays world we think we can choose but can we really choose. Free will not free will. I have tought about it a lot. And with most things I come to a point that I leave opening for everything. And I know I dont know.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
"Lots of beauty to unlock. But also a lot of pain."
I became happy when I realized my lack of friendships had more to do with my own disinterest than my perceived sense of rejection.
Agreed. I stopped hanging out with most people when one day it dawned on me that I was hanging out for the sake of hanging out. Very often these people didn't actually bring anything to my life, yet I was going out of my way to make sure I had people to hang out with Friday night because, well, that's what you are "supposed" to do. Now I only do things I'll genuinely be interested in and happy to be a part of and I'm way happier despite spending so much time alone. The people I used to hang out with were nice people and all, bu† the issue was with "fit". We weren't like minded so I stopped pretending. I'd rather listen to like minded people on a CZcams channel by myself than socialize with people I have little in common with.
@@jasondashney exactly! I remember being miserable in high school because I felt I had no real friends and I had to “perform” to act like everyone else. Mostly I hated sitting there trying to pretend to be interested in gossip and discussions about sex/relationships. To this day I cannot understand all the songs about romantic love (let alone raunchy sex). I love CZcams. It’s my BFF.
@@patientzero5685 The Internet is great. It has allowed me to understand that other people share my thoughts, or at least some of them. It has inspired me to start a channel (under a different name) soon and hopefully I can help some people realize they aren’t alone.
It’s great that you stopped trying to pretend. I think trying to have a conversation with someone about something you couldn’t care less about is absolutely exhausting beyond belief.
@@jasondashney good for you. Loners May not need a lot of friends but everyone likes to feel they aren’t alone. Good luck with your channel!
@@patientzero5685 Thanks! These days I'm just bashing around my new audio equipment after work like a 2001 Space Odyssey monkey. I'm not the brightest but people far dumber than I have mastered it so I'm sure I'll be fine.
Cheers!
I’m 19 and I’ve seen this my whole life. Literally shocked there are some teens more mature than people that are 30+. I go to work my my 50+ year old coworkers sound like children, gossiping, whispering, whining and bickering over literal nonsense. It’s like I’m in highschool.
You haven’t seen anything yet. At nineteen and you’re experiencing this kind of separation…I wish you the best.
I’m sure it didn’t help that you were ripped out of HS probably around 15-16. Very important years to socialize & be around other students but it wasn’t considered “essential.” I had 3 co-workers that were all around 19-20 and was impressed that they were pretty well-rounded; though we like to think with age comes wisdom unfortunately wisdom doesn’t always come with age.
Almost 60 and all the guys I work with remind me of how my friends and I were in Junior High. It's exhausting to be around them. There's no comparison between these guys and my Dad, my uncle and my Grandfathers. It blows my mind.
Same issue with parents and relatives around me its gotten to the point where its emberrasing.
I had this at your age, I'm 26 and it's still the same, best advice I could give is don't hold it against them, it can make you bitter... it's just how they're wired up. It wasn't until I discovered podcasts, and CZcams in particular, that I found people that had the same interests, opinions, worries and thoughts as me.
The amount of deep thinkers in the comment section that feel the same level of loneliness brings me to tears. I never knew why I feel lonely but it seems like this is a good place to start.
Theres also the possibility that all these people are just socially incompetent an have no friends, and thus, they try to rationalize their lack of social skills by thinking "oh, maybe I have no friends because im extremely deep and smart". Think about it.
Your comment about being brought to tears by loneliness stemming from deep thinking had me immediately googling "Kenzan and Jittoku". Please look them up. A great reminder of the heart-rending nature of artistry and poetic ideas, as represented in soaring and deep Buddhist thought and ideas. I am an artist, and your comment has inspired me to now focus on this topic, which is important enough that I will not now forget it. So, thank you!
@@okalov Yes lol. Unfortunately there are far more people who are confused and haven't found a place for themselves in the world, than there are people who are "deep". Confused people mistake thoughts for ideas, and questions for hypotheses.
I highly doubt this comment section is truly as it appears.
People can think deeply, it does not bring their intelligence to a level considered high, in fact, the modern world and how it isolates individuals leads to lack of social development and difficulty expressing themselves, along with a world that shows only people who have apparently figured it out.
When people cannot explain something, express difficult emotions and so on, even unlikely scenarios become viable to them after enough rumination and introspection.
I find myself thinking an awful lot, playing scenarios, trying to understand people, just thinking, at work, parties/social events, home, wherever I am I will stop to think generally, I don't believe this makes me intelligent as such, just curious.
Start a group get connected
If you think deeply, you will learn things others don't know, reach conclusions they don't understand, and develop a worldview they don't share.
Can be a good thing, but potentially also terribly destructive. Ted Kaczynski comes to mind.
Here in Canada, we have the USA - But if this is their resolve, then Canada is on their own.
Just saying, China or Russia and we are gone.
Quebec / Trudeau put us in debt, 9 Trillion - Took away our Guns, and now they are taking away our right to assembly.
Its not looking good if we are trying to prevent invasion -
czcams.com/video/ZbZ4XGKCBf4/video.html 🌎👀🌎💦💨🔥✡🔶✡🔶✡🔶✡🔶 FREEDOM!!! PEACE!!! VICTORY!!!!
Council on the Environment - shut down 1868 by Canada, ALMOST READY!!!!
@@TasmaniaIsAHole funny you should say that. If terrible destruction for the sake of others is wrought by a single hand, he's a monster. If wrought by a general for a country in a war over terrorists or oil, he's somethign we all have to live with, and we can't really judge him.
@@neglectfulsausage7689 Violence shouldn't be the answer in either situation. It's not about who is "wrong" or "right" but how you conduct yourself. Ted Kaczynski had some extraordinarily insightful ideas that didn't receive much appreciation at the time due to his violent actions. It's now nearly 30 years later that a lot of people are starting to realise that maybe there were more grains of truth in his ideas than was widely believed at the time. It still doesn't excuse his crimes in the slightest however, and if anything it's a tragedy and an ultimate waste of potential that such a deep thinker such as Kaczynski, who had some almost prophetic theories about the future, is rotting away in a prison cell rather than writing and consulting as an academic to advisory bodies. *That's* the difference between being a force for good and a terribly destructive one. It's very easy to get caught up in your own beliefs and ideas and lose sight of your humanity and breed contempt for other who might just not understand. It always needs to be cautioned against. No terrorist doubts their own truths.
@@TasmaniaIsAHole If 9 people decided that you could no longer participate in society, and would not trade you food or water, but held all the land, you would curl up and die? When does violence become acceptable? If laws were passed to remove certain groups from society, like jews, and impoverish them, and ruin their health, would violence be acceptable then? Or is it because everything was done legally, and there was social consensus to do this, and there is no overt system of violence against the group or its individuals, that it should be tolerated? How far do you go in your belief of non-violence? Would you rather be killed than kill? How much of coercion and force would you live under, and how imprisoned would you allow your life to become under, say, a CCP-like regime, before you think violence is acceptable? Do you think its never acceptable, no matter how people "authority" plan to take away your capacity to live and do as you please? If so, you could always go protesting in Ukraine in the streets right now.
I wish I had friends who loved to discuss ideas. I am constantly analyzing everything that is going on around me and trying to understand why people are the way that they are, what is contributing to our current culture and where it is going- but I have no one to really talk to it about. Except maybe my dad. He’s brilliant. But anyway… it is lonely. I wish there were more people who loved to grapple with ideas around me.
I feel that so much. I’m wondering what you think about this, but I often ask myself if I’m really interested in peoples behaviour and why they do the things they do or if I’m just trying to control everything to not get rejected or hurt.
Look! The guy above me is someone who likes that sort of stuff. There are a lot of people that could connect with your way of thinking. You just have to search for them. The internet is a great place. There are discord servers for philosophy, psychology etc. Good luck!
Go to school, find a field that covers that and that you find interesting. Pursue an education in that and I can guarantee you’ll meet atleast a few likeminded people
The best person you can share deep thoughts is with your family.. If you have a pure relationship with your father enjoy because will not be forever.. What i mean for natural curse of life our parents will die first than us.. Unfortunately for few life has meaning for others.. Its all about me, my feelings, egos, empty souls ..
Peace
@@geada7music627 what? Lmfao
“I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly. I perceive that this, too, was vexation of spirit; for in much wisdom, there is much grief, and he that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.”
Ecclesiastes 1 : 17 -18 Everything that man thinks that makes them smart and special is nothing new under the sun. Nobody came up with a new idea. Everything has already been written in the Bible. I used to think that the more authors I read, the more knowledge and wisdom I will have. The more I read I understand the Bible I come to find out that every things have just been borrowed from the Bible.
That’s beautiful ngl
Ecclesiastes, Meditations, and Tao Te Ching are my favorite books I've read.
Solomon….
@@ddiatta24 were you reading religious authors by chance? i think that might have something to do with the similarities with the bible
The deeper you think the harder it is to find people to relate to and converse with. Very few people are curious about life and the world around them and do not value understanding what they do not have to. I think our culture and society beats that curiosity out of people at a young age.
In my personal experience I have found that talking to people who I think have nothing to offer is where i found the conversation that have impacted how I view things the most.
@@chelochavez7380 Well yeah everyone can teach you something. I don’t mean it like that. I can’t stand snooty academics with their little superiority complexes.
But if you’re a creative “INTP” personality or whatever you get “energy” from more complex discussions that are a mix of abstract and concrete concepts and ideas which demand a level of broad knowledge and understandings, articulation, experience, etc. It’s like a dance style, and if your partner isn’t practiced enough it isn’t very fun, unless you’re just goofin or feel up for teaching of course.
I can attest to your point about curiosity being removed at an early age. I regret dumbing myself down to reach other people in college. The problem I find today is that people are so busy trying to get any point across in a competitive fashion they barely engage the listening aspect of communication. Ironically some of the best wisdom I heard was from friends who never challenged themselves intellectually but we're forced to challenge themselves daily from a critical and spiritual standpoint. Sadly it resulted in a slow self destruct but they told me hard truths that no one else would. I have also found very few people will honestly talk about their core beliefs, it seems they are afraid of losing there foundation.
It’s important to realize that Jordan Peterson is also at the top of his field therefor he is always surrounded by those like minded. Normal average citizens are surrounded by significantly less like-minded individuals and it is absolutely a lonelier lifestyle. There are much less deep thinkers at the bottom where we are, than at the top.
That was my first thought as well. It's not so easy when you come up in a vastly different culture. I was born not far from JBP but we took very different paths so I've never been around intellectuals at all. **
Most ppl at "the top of their field" are often the dumbest ppl
That's a great observation 👏
Its far easier to be less entangled by dissonance when your energy field is positive.
How's your sports team doing?
@@divafever9754 huh
It explains why no matter how many people I hang out with I still feel lonely. I’m not able to express my mind often as these people can’t take it seriously or simply don’t understand it. That’s when the loneliness hits.
I 100% relate
I have this too a lot but you really have to find to right people! Having 1 or 2 of those that really understand your thought processes (could be romantic partner of good friend) makes all the difference.
Keep searching and eventually you’ll find one or two that you can go into massive amounts of depth with very little effort. It only takes one person to change your perception of communication. A few weeks ago we spent an hour talking about what the most useless instrument was (it’s a triangle, FYI), and it was great.
@@HarryBradbury what a great conversation it must have been haha
@@k4rdinal Genuinely was haha, conversations about stupid shit but in great amounts of detail are brilliant
For this I am so grateful for my wife. Even if sometimes she finds deep thoughts tiresome, she always listens, understands what I'm saying and replies. After ten years of sharing my deepest thoughts and concerns with someone, I can say that I fully enjoyed the experience of sharing meaningful ideas and conversations with someone and no longer seek the listening from "aqueitances". In my younger years not having someone to really talk to felt very lonely indeed.
You are fortunate indeed if your wife listens on some level and even attempts to interact in such discussions. I have the exact opposite situation. My wife does not read and is actually irritated by any talk around any philosophical, inventive, or artistic "ideas", and will not suffer it more than one minute before she abruptly changes the subject. And I must say that each time this occurs is like being slapped in the face with a bowl of cold and unfresh spaghetti. She has many positive and even superlative qualities, so this is not to demean her. But it does mean that I must look elsewhere to talk about something interesting. Her only "reading" is to keep up with People Magazine sort of stories: who had multiple marriages, who is pregnant, how many kids with each spouse, all useless things that I lump under the pointless rubric of "The Kardashians".
I can 100% sympathize with this sentiment. Meeting my husband was just like winning the lottery for me. Here was a person who also like to stay and watch movies and just talk all night long. We had deep conversations about life and philosophy, things that were going on in the world, books that we'd read. We always ended up being Outsiders and people always thought we were negative because we question everything and we don't shy away from pointing things out that are false. Not in a malicious way but just to show that they are not correct. And people usually think that we are holier than thou, arrogant, or self-righteous. We are not we are very hard on ourselves. We have extremely high standards for ourselves. I think it was fate or something that we met each other because it is so fantastic to have someone that understands. We go long periods of time in the same room without speaking, just doing our own thing and then we sometimes sit in rooms and talk for hours and hours. It's just nice to have somebody who understands your level of weirdness
@@KpxUrz5745
You will be happier alone sir I promise
I found a Woman like that, patient Woman, put a ring on her finger, she is precious to me.
I hope to be as fortunate as you! What a blessing.
‘IT IS BOTH A BLESSING AND A CURSE TO THINK & FEEL EVERYTHING SO DEEPLY.’ 👁
Well. When you spend more time thinking deep, you spend less time with people so it’s possible. A small sacrifice to avoid casual conversation that is boring. Most people can’t have deep conversations without becoming emotional and offended so we just talk about the weather and gossip about others. So inspiring.
Most people can’t have deep conversations - period.
@@dh6171 also people tend to react to things that they think are true about themselves in negative way. Like saying fat isn't healthy, fat people will be more likely to be offended and talk about body positivity. If you start talking about male aggression or female manipulation both are liable to get offended there.
@@dh6171 one sided perhaps
You should definitively change country you live in
True
I believe what sets us apart is that some people are truth seekers (deep thinkers) and others are not. Going with the flow is a lot easier than being honest with yourself.
Absolutely. Something I'm working on cultivating right now is helping others realise the value of truth. Some are more receptive than others but at some level most people I've engaged with so far seems to understand the concept.
As a deep thinker, it's hard for me to be satisfied with the simple surface level stuff. It's just not enough for me. I always want to get to the bottom of everything and learn more, know more. I have such an insatiable curiosity and thirst for knowledge. And I always have a sense that there's something meaningful going on behind everything. So im always searching for that hidden meaning.
Going with the flow would not have been easier for you perhaps. The more you understand the more you're driven not to accept the easy way out or to just get along.
only in the short term. You can't hide from truth.
So going with the flow isn't really bad. As long as u surf on a true vessel. Maybe like a kayak .. u go with the flow but still use your own energy to change or make choices in the flow .. it also allows to choose what flows to navigate. If u wipe out. Pick another flow
I’ve been known to be an extroverted type, but deep down I’ve always been a deep thinker for as long as I can remember. Friends have often said I’m an old soul, that I think too much, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. Trying to understand the deeper meaning behind events in my life, why certain situations happened, and how did it all affect up to the present moment. I’ve often said I don’t see my life in a linear pattern, but more like a web of connections . It can be hard to build truly deep and meaningful bonds, but they’re amazing when they do happen.
It’s great to see a community of like-minded deep thinkers in the comment section. I’ve grown up quite shy and quiet, who had trouble making friends and ended up being alone most of the time. I noticed that I had social anxiety during my teenage and young adult years. Then in my mid-20s, I started coming to the conclusion that my self-awareness and deep thinking made me get used to being alone. Solitude had always been an option for me but at the same time I know personal connection with people other than my family at home is what I secretly wished I had. Anyhow, as long as your content with being in solitude and able to make an effort to share your own thoughts with others, even when they might not share the same thinking/energy as you, at least they’ll understand you as a person and learn from you as a result. Empathy and compassion for others is also a must as giving even a shred of insight can make a large revelation for someone else.
Nice comment. Wow, it seems I spend a lot of time thinking backwards about all the apparent shyness and all the social discomfort that caused over my lifetime. I suppose my defining instance to start it off was back in high school. One of the smartest girls in our good high school, who I did not know personally, told a certain teacher she wanted to ask me to a certain school dance. I was taken aback, never went to any such events, so simply told him "tell her I don't go to dances". Wow this is such a quaint and old-fashioned admission, decades before we had internet, cellphones, or dating apps! In fact, seriously now, I still cannot believe that anyone dates while still in high school. Who has time to pretend to be an adult? I was too busy studying to learn and be at the top of my class, plus pursuing my creative interests. Certainly there are many really brilliant people who enjoy ideas, and who are capable of talking about something outside of their own boring narrow personal life and interests. But finding such a friend or acquaintance is nearly impossible. I am lucky to know ONE, but since I moved out of NYC it is now just the occasional phone call. Seriously now, one's highest moments and deepest thoughts and insights are to be found during the one activity where they are best hidden: in reading very good books. I am an artist, and one of my favorite etchings I created is entitled, "The Dostoyevsky Reading".
The way to go is clarity of thinking rather than deep thinking. Deep thinking will drown you, clarity of thinking will allow you to see through your thoughts and get to the root of it. I dont advocate for deep thoughts cos you will be overwhelmed. Reflecting deeply must be accompanied with opposing opinions and thoughts to gain an unbiased perspective and focused scope of thought. Communication & organizations of thoughts in stages is key.
Saved the video so that I can return to this comment section. Really valuable information.
@@hadiakmal9281 I have a question.
Is clarity of thought possible without deep thinking?
@@tafseerahmad7383 yes. Look for the fifth discipline by peter senge. It explains how you can clearly identify and challenge your own personal assumptions, beliefs, biases and lack of understanding on the motivations of a certain topics. Think of this as the mud in the water that clouds your judgement. If you have clear water, no matter how deep you go, you can clearly navigate but if you are in muddy water how can you know if there is a crocodile lurking in that water. Think of it that way.
I grew up dirt poor in a trailer park and in a family where no one made it out of high school. I also dropped out of high school in grade 11 and became a traveling musician for almost 15 years. At some point in that adventure I married an amazing woman. She saw so much more potential in me than I saw in myself, and she convinced me to take a stab at learning whatever I found interesting. So, I spent around 2 years reading and learning a programming language (Java) until I felt prepared to take a certification exam. I borrowed the $300, took the test, and I passed it. Fast forward almost 15 more years, and I'm now a Solutions Architect making a very comfortable living. Along the way, I gained more and more confidence in my ability to just learn whatever I found interesting.
The thing I noticed is... the more I learned, the fewer friends I had... until eventually only 1 was left out of an initial 30 or so. I feel incredibly lonely because of it. If not for my wife, I think I would have just fallen back into my meaningless, destructive existence I had suffered with before. It's a really bizarre feeling... to gain self-confidence but at the price of companionship. At 41 now, its pretty hard to make new friends. So, for me, it's a very real reality that thinking more deeply; improving my mind and learning more and more... has left me smarter, but lonelier.
Thanks for your comment, Jason.
Understood brother. If it's any consolation, want to be friends?
The worst and best thing is often the intellect. If it turns against you it's almost impossible to argue against it.
My husband too came out of a similar situation, I too saw a great potential in him. We are happily married with 2 children, he has become pretty successful, and I am so proud of him. We are only 34, we have been blessed, we are a great team.
I’m very similar.
Lower class upbringing, figured out I could learn. Work in robotics now.
I have zero friends. I mainly interact with my family, read, and spend time in nature.
At 28 I hit a wave of self reflection and self awareness. I now analyze almost every situation I'm involved in, and came away with some profound and enlightening conclusions about myself and the world. I am 29 now, and can tell you that, yes, I do feel more lonely. But I wouldn't go back for anything. It also allowed me to love myself like I never have, and the solidarity is refreshing, like spending time with a good friend.
One lesson to teach your child "'think about what you are doing''...
Absolutely. Nobody could pay me any amount of anything to go back to hating myself, believing 100% that I don't deserve good things nor to even live at all, taking every opportunity possible to put myself down, and putting every single other person on a pedestal above myself. Had I not found my way into the light of awareness and love, I probably wouldn't be here right now. Or at least, I'd be miserable and strongly considering leaving this Earthly plane of being.
I don't blame Christianity or religion as a whole, but part of the reason for this strange behavior in me was the sickness of modern cultural detritus being imprinted upon my very pure mind and soul as a young child, being bullied in school, poor health, and being taught by my single mother (who was by no means a perfect parent, far from it) that the order of importance of beings in life goes: 1. God 2. Other people 3. Myself. (Update: It was also implied that animals were below these, so I ended up doing some mean things to some of our pets which I regretted not too long after)
From a young age I was made to believe that I was objectively inferior to everyone else in the world. Is that child abuse? I don't know if I'd go that far, because I don't think she knew what she was actually doing to me in the long term. She thought she was doing the right thing. But then again, the results were absolutely hellish (though not *entirely* her fault) so I'm still on the fence.
How’s you learn to love yourself and not overthink all the flaws we have
I need to know the answer to this, although I know ultimately it’s not one size fits all but I need insight. I’m DYING inside because I can’t seem to like myself although I try but my method of approach hasn’t been working and I’m 25!!! . I love myself but I don’t like myself because I have too many flaws I can’t overlook yet can’t change.. it’s torture .
Solidarity? Do you mean solitude?
As an INFJ I rarely feel alone, I enjoy the solitude. Being alone with my thoughts, exploring great depths and interests is something I enjoy. My parents did a great job with us, we were told we could do anything but we’d have to work for it, have standards, be disciplined and keep learning. We watched my dad build companies from the ground up and be successful. There were failures but he’s never quit.
Thats amazing im very happy for you as a sigma INFJ. Being lonely has always been painful but it was worth it because i have achieved amazing knowledge and formulas and perhaps saved someones life.
bruh your MBTI is bullshit. if you think yourself smart but believe in the MBTI, consider rethinking your self-image
@@zombine7103😂😂😂
As an INFP I completely resonate with what you said. I never feel alone and I love my own company. I am never bored:) Nothing in the outside world can even compare to my highly imaginative inner world.
Male INFJ here. I understand what you're saying. I too have built a company. It's pretty cool. Sometimes I do enjoy my solitude but it's like 50/50. I want to share my inner world with someone else and feel understood. But that kind of acceptance is so rare for our type.
Jordan has a point, the more I talked about my awareness I lost a lot of people but through that isolation I would have random conversations with people who could comprehend me.
i can relate to deep thinking. especially nowadays, i find myself bored with most conversations with people. i would like to talk in depth with topics but it's hard finding such people when most people you're around are in the superficial end of the pool. so it does become quite lonely sometimes, until you find the right people to be with. being a deep thinker is both a blessing and a curse, though i find more of a blessing. even if you have to make sacrifices in terms of being included in other social groups.
On the same page with here. I’ve been self reflecting/self improving and it takes a lot of deep thinking and it can be very scary but you always gain something good out of it
I never have deep conversations with people just stay witty and make people laugh
Same boat here, it could mess me up sometimes realizing that there aren't as many willing to converse in a more in-depth and profound manner, it gets lonely and boring. I guess this is the problem of - I don't want to say "Different" but more being unable to conform to modern social norms. Quite sad actually. You mentioned this being both a blessing and a curse and I concur that it leans toward more on a blessing category, we just gotta find the right people... Eventually.
I think many people are interested in deep things to some extent, and willing to talk about them, but just aren’t so open at first. Small talk serves a social purpose - to break the ice - so that you can get people comfortable enough that they might share their deep thoughts later. It’s frustrating for people who just want to jump into the deep end right away, but it’s often necessary to be patient until others are ready to do so.
@@RevTheHermit its not extremely lonely and boring provided you have 1 or 2 people to have deep conversations with. Having deep and intellectual convos gets tiring sometimes. Sometimes its nice to talk about cars, or memes or whatever. Definetely understand
Growing up I had adults in my life that i deeply respected and still do to this day. One thing that blew my mind as I "went out into the world" was that so many people dont grow into the mature adults I respected. More often then not people just get older seemingly without maturing at all. Still crazy to me
Underrated comment ❤️
As a kid you think people are mature, intelligent and have everything figured out. It's hilarious
Yes. I've found most people reach a plateau, mentally, & they're comfortable staying there. It's like the guy at work, in his mid, late 40s', still listening to AC/DC, & you find he's comfortable also staying where he is, as far as level of training at work. And yes, I will most definitely lay some of the blame on the social acceptance of the use of drugs, combined with the legalization of recreational use of them as well. Don't even get me started on these pharmaceuticals.
Bottom line though is this: It's all been done on purpose.....by design. And how it is that most people can't see this happening, right in front of their faces, is absolutely appalling.
@@stevegregory7512yup most parents are just large children that are too daft to realize that allowing your human child to be raised by a screen is very very stupid, and 90% of the population thinks brainwashing or indoctrination is a hoax and doesnt exist, so when their 9 yr old says they are trans the parents are like “i guess thats just their personality” when in reality the dam 9 yr old has been watching trans videos on tiktok recommended to them by the algorithm
They grow old but they don't grow up. It's been a horrifying revelation to me now that I'm an adult
I'm such a deep thinker.... I can sense things before even it happens to me and most of the times my gut instincts are on spot... 100% correct
Not sure how my Subconscious work but it catches tiny little details and shows me signs if something is wrong for me it that way I'm so blessed and yes I feel lonely but ovr a period of 27 years 😅i used to my solitude I enjoy my self and my own company and by gods grace have few good friends. Life is getting better... Thanks to the power of deep thinking. But sometimes deep thinking consumes my energy I feel exhausted and stressed thinking something which is not happened.
Finally met someone who can do the same, thought I was on a lone boat
For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.
Every deep thinker needs one superficial, shallow friend. Cherish that person because they will keep you balanced and grounded. Do not engage in deep philosophical conversations with this friend, just accept them and play along until you are ready to go home.
Underrated comment ❤️
holy pretentiousness
what is the point of enlightenment if not to share ?
Always meet people at there level, dont expect more then they can provide but have them to the highest bar they can meet. Encourage them to be there best self
Yes I agree with you.its just break from deep thinking
It's VERY hard connecting with Family, etc. on deeper topics.
I can't tolerate solely talking about sports, & Gossip in addition to drinking.
When I Realized most people don't have anything to actually talk about, I just started minding to myself because it's exhausting being ridiculed for talking about things that matter on a grander scale
Yes
Yep I could have a more meaningful conversation with myself in my head then any of my family or friends and find myself trying less and less to make conversation with loved one as I'm so sick of hearing about tick tock bullshit news or just general gossip and feel if I try to talk about deeper things you can tell other people just aren't interested too much Brain power needed surrounded by other but can still feel lonely as hell least I know I'm not alone.😔
hmm.. interesting, just out of curiosity, what exactly are these deeper topics you want to talk about??
It’s definitely a balancing act. A high wire that I am walking most days. I think it’s good to engage with the surface thinkers, but I have a hard time giving them too much of my time. At the same time I want my ideas out there, and like it or not, they are the majority.
You’ve basically articulated how I feel when I interact with most of my friends.
Thank you for this. I have been feeling this so hard, and really needed to hear this. Especially the first half of the conversation
I spent a long time with people I didn’t like. Many years I sat on a couch alone as others talked over me (barring my parents). Within the past year I have since told these people how I feel, how they make others feel, and how they could change. I made new friends and found completely new hobbies. I am 100x happier now than I was even 3 years ago. I’m glad I’ve learned to be less agreeable and I never could have done it without Jordan.
I have experienced it because I have always been a deep thinker, I like to think about ideas for hours and hours and it made me feel lonely, I never talked about what I thought to anyone else because I thought they wouldn't understand my point but when I started writing my thoughts and talking to people about I felt my level of thinking increased and the lonely part disappeared slowly and I have noticed people are ready to talk about critical ideas. I have learnt this habit from Dr. Jordan
You may be an introvert .
The world needs your ideas and thoughts so keep writing and talking!But this kind of thinking makes you very fatigued as you are working harder at it than the average person.
Introverts think deeper and analyse deeply - it takes energy.
So make sure you take time to decompress in between- put on your oxygen mask
Blessings
@@rachelkingsley668 thank you
Trust me, you're not a deep thinker. The fact that you're a fan of Jordan Peterson, says all I need to know about your critical thinking skills
@@rachelkingsley668 true
@@natelarper2650 Someone despises me. that's their problem
-Marcus Aurelius
I've lost most of my friends, for expressing different opinions during the last 6 years. It's not satisfying being proved right and losing your friends, but I can't ignore facts.
Friends come and go. Losing your self is forever. Hold fast, regardless.
It’s actually arrogant defining oneself as right which will result in you losing friends due to your attitude and inflexibility. Opinions are just that, a viewpoint from a perspective you’ve chosen to defend, they’re not factual or truths. A fact, especially in science, is transient awaiting a disruptive finding to break the consensus surrounding it. There are few facts. There are a multitude of speculations that hold for now.
@@brynleytalbot778 some things are opinions, and some things are right and wrong.
If you refuse to tolerate wrong from your friends you'll end up lonely, and if you beat yourself up over it you'll end up hating yourself too.
@@brynleytalbot778 life is full of arrogance and ego. It's also full of right and wrong.
Trying to remove all arrogance from oneself is not something that is going to help you in today's society.
Pandering after friends that are treating you wrong probably won't end well either.
Great comment
I think communication is the biggest factor when it comes to loneliness. I am a deep thinker, however I'm not very intelligent and find it difficult to share my thoughts and ideas in a way that makes sense. I can never find the right sentence with the right words to manifest my thoughts into comprehensible speech. This often leads to me withdrawing from conversation and keeping my thoughts to myself, as whenever I do speak it feels as though I'm rambling nonsense. Including this comment, it doesn't feel like I've written and explained precisely what it is I'm trying to say very well.
I got exactly what you mean, and I think I have the same issue
I really believe that more practice and reading & improving your vocabulary helps to fix it
You’re very articulate and make a lot of sense to me lol..
I had a conversation today with my best friend and we haven’t connected in a while and there is a bit of distance between us and we were just about the pressures of our works and I thought I was the only one who analysed the environment of our workplace and the way he explained it to me over the conversation amazed me I was never aware that he paid so much attention to detail and I always listen to him as a student because I know there’s always something to learn from him.
Loneliness is one stage before realising that your personality, up until that point, has been defined by the reflection of it in others. Imagine suddenly noticing that this was why we are educated in large groups. Imagine finding out that we, as a collective, are much easier to control in groups, which seems to be the death of critical thinking. Imagine suddenly finding freedom and strength in yourself, rather than by being sheep and following everyone else. If you are here, you'll probably find The Crowd: A Study of the Popular Mind by Gustave Le Bon, and Group Psychology and the Analysis of the Ego very useful reads. But more important than those is Soren Kierkegaard's The Crowd is Untruth.
Also good is Conflict: A Life Nearly Wasted on Dualism.
5 star comment there Bo. Thanks for the recs.
I remember understanding in my childhood that my personality was essentially an amalgam of my friends, and that relatively little of who I was was me. I didn't see it as a bad thing. I understood it was a social cohesion mechanism. I was grateful for it. Hell, it wasn't until I started listening to Jordan Peterson that that changed, when I realized most of my friends had no interest in fixing their broken lives. You can bet your last dollar I felt alone after that wake up call.
A Soren Kierkegaard reader...never thought I would meet one on CZcams...I like "Provocations". I will give the crowd is untruth a read. If you have interest in God...Richard Baxter is also a grounded person to read from.
wow, i never thought of that, great insight
The more you think and observe, the more pain you notice. Being a child is the best and btw the most important period of a human life
Ong being a child is so much easier I used to not drive myself crazy by thinking deeper and deeper
For some being a child is torture and suffering. Growing older means freedom to them.
@@semekiizuio I can totally understand
That’s a solid fact right there. Really happening to see how important our way of growing as a child is.
Why do you feel it's the most important time in your life? Does this not set you up for failure when you're an adult? Can you honestly say to yourself that you'll be able to live a happy genuine life with that self limiting belief?
I really needed to hear this conversation today.
Knowledge is power but for me it's an affliction, I am also an empath and have been suffering of late feeling the weight of the world's pain and suffering and have withdrawn away from people and have to filter out what information I take on board however I have started to read the bible and I have found solace in God and am starting to understand that there is a job to be done ❤❤❤ God bless 🙌 you all.
Welcome to my world. Feeling the heavyness and darkness of the world every day on top of everyone else in my life, is a serious challege. It is more difficult to determine who is in trouble. As if that wasn't already an issue.
Reading the Bible is the only thing that allows me to escape and feel normal. I have lost Joy, and that's really difficult for me. It has literally been stolen from me.
The positive is that I like being alone, I'm almost never lonely. True companionship would be a plus, but I don't see that on my schedule.
Everything changed for me when C19 happened.
@davemalone4421 Morning brother, Thanks for the message 🙏 Hope your well. Every since I was a child I always felt different then others. I was always spiritually sensitive and liked doing my own thing , I tried to fit in by getting acceptance , I then fell into alcoholism and drug addiction for decades and all forms of sin to escape what was going on inside of me denying God, suffering in the process with Homelessness, prison also being wrote of by Doctors psychiatrists as a man with schizoid effected bi polar God saving my life on multiple occasions with his grace. I understand now that everything I went through which I am grateful for was building character. I am blessed that God revealed to me that I was under serious spiritual oppression. Now I have the gift of discernment when I am mixing with others, like you I enjoy my own company but how I learn is by mixing with others it then teaches me what I need to work on bringing all my thoughts in to the obedience of christ no matter how dark they are and how I do that is through prayer several times a day and I have been getting great strength and wisdom from it. Covid was a very dark time for me to I lost 2 family members one from covid who was left die on her own and another from the vaccine died that night after getting it.
But I try live in the day reaching out to people who are struggling and coming under spiritual attacks but that shows me I am on the right path.
God bless you brother message me anytime ❤️ praying for you 🙏
I've been reading through these comments and they're fascinating. This is a community of like-minded thinkers who are lonely, all unable to reach out to the very people in this comment section who share your position. Theres probably a discord server somewhere for people, like us, to make friends and have good chats - you just have to be brave enough to reach out. ❤️
I agree but there's just something about being in the same room with the people you are talking to so you can see their expressions and hear their voice. Yeah Zoom is a thing but it's just not the same as having a chat over a drink on a patio, ya know? I've always wished there was a social media site where you can just make friends for the sake of making friends. Meetup sorta, kinda does that a tiny bit but you don't always need a hobby to bond over.
Sign me up my man
I don't think intelligent people want chatter which is idle small talk. Blah, blah blah. You can find that sort of interaction at a bus stop. They want thoughtful conversations, much more difficult to find.
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 please make the discord man
I've tried being brave and the biggest problem I've faced is that people tend to be so LOUD man. I'm just not a loud person. It seems to me like there's more noise in the world than ever before (which makes sense, because the Earth has the highest population ever). It's hard to find the space to make these conversations happen.
But yes, sign me up too!
There is a difference between loneliness and solitude. As a deep thinker myself, i frequently need to be alone for a considerable amount of time. But I can't remember ever feeling sad about that.. If i want to, i can meet up with someone or just make new friends on the spot. But i never felt the need to be around people all the time. I don't really "miss" people that easily either. I do try to visit my parents and hang out with friends at least once a month, but I'm doing it more for them than for me. And if people just cut me out of their lives without any reason, I'm fine with that too. I would be wondering if they are doing okay but i won't get upset or anything. I don't understand why some people can't be just with themselves for some time. I like to go to the cinema all by myself, i've done solo trips. I'm not afraid to stay alone with my thoughts. I enjoy thinking about complicated things.
@@omarvmr yeah yeah, try not talking with someone for 6 months and say that again. You NEED some amount of friends and socialization. This guy said that he has no friends yet he meets with them once a month. That's a lot. I don't hang out with people at all
glad to hear there is someone else like me !
@@JAKE-ng8yr haha where did I say I have no friends? And if you know you need some socialization, why don't you? There is the risk of insanity that comes after a certain time, depending on the individual. There are people who can't even be 24hrs without human interaction, mostly women. But if you're fine like this, then fine. If you do want to socialize I recommend joining communities because you have a higher chance to meet like-minded people. And when you do meet a like minded person, you hang out every week trust me. I can have intellectual discussions hours on end about something I'm interested in.
@@JAKE-ng8yr And 6 months is definitely extreme and unhealthy.
@@Kyoto99952 i dont hang out because i dont have anyone to hang out with? Are you dumb? What is that question? If I had friends I woudn't cry about not having friends
I read something the other day that suggested that the more intelligent you are and the more you know, the more likely you are to suffer from anxiety. That made me worry, so I decided to systematically forget most of what I know. It worked for a while before I forgot what I was doing
I also appreciate how the tall poppy section is called 'tall puppy syndrome'
One thing's for sure: to think deeply, you need to be alone.
I'm thinking that we Americans should abandon this "you can be whatever you want to be" rhetoric in favor of honesty about how you become what you want to be. You're free to try and have any job you'd like, but achieving that is never easy.
You CANT be whatever you WANT to be..........
I know "People told us" this growing up, but.......they told me too.......and I knew from a pretty young age there was no way in hell I could've been a Pirate or a Ninja in the 21st Century 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Kids need encouragement AND a healthy dose of realism. There are many professions that seem cool to kids (artists, rock-stars, athletes), but parents neglect to tell them that only a tiny percentage of people can turn those kinds of interests into a profitable career.
I seem to remember it being different. You can be anything you want to be. Instead, through hard work you can be anything you want to be.
@@williammentink hard work isn't enough. It's necessary though. First you have to really know yourself and know what you really want, not what you think you want
@@formless4541 That's the catch though isn't it? How do you find out about yourself? That's when the old wisdom of working to become something kicks in. The process of becoming for lack of a better phrase. As you work towards your goal you discover things about yourself and there you reevaluate. Continue on to your goal or set a new one? Then it happens again and then again.
How do you know that a goal is actually unattainable? You try.
In my experience ( degree in philosophy) being somebody who constantly thinks about things deeply, I have found very like minded people. And formed deep bonds with them over sharing thoughts and debates. Problem is, all those people either move away, or just don’t stay in one place for long enough to remain in a close knit relationship. Because they want to live! They want to move around end experience the world and the different perspectives and lifestyles of others. So it’s hard to maintain relationships with those people because they tend to be nomadic in nature. They aren’t afraid of change and Adaptation, so they seek experiences and adventure. I suppose they would say the same of me.
I like that thought. I'm definitely fitting the description. it's just that in office jobs or acedemic environments most ppl are actually quite the opposite.
Phone calls
Everyone is a like minded person if you cast off academic pretensions and use words that fit your audience. In insular groups ideas stagnate. By spreading ideas with patience you can move others to think differently. When the psychologist enters the room and brushes the string the problem of tying two hanging strings together that are apart but you can only reach one, suddenly becomes simpler, a classical study of solving a task. On moving around you only escape your own barriers to expanding yourself within the immediate environment because you’d rather not make an effort to engage with those below your intelligence. It’s a folly that will hit as you age. I’m afraid intellectual thinkers often aren’t deep thinkers, they’re just desperate to appear so to a set of peers.
I can attest to that 🤣
I wish I had a degree so that I could say I have a degree.
Oh wait. I DO have a degree....
in Spanish....
while I teach English in Asia. College is largely a scam depending on the major. I didn't take my life seriously most of the time, so I did not prepare. But that's not so bad since being in Southeast Asia is better than being in the biggest nuclear target in history this WW3.
Dr. Peterson is the most respectable person I’ve seen on social media
I suppose the "majority" needs to have people around, therefore become lonely. I was never really alone until my 50s, and I'm just basking in it now. What a relief!
I have spent most of my life being told that I think too much. I grew up in a family where children were to be seen, not heard. My father spent a large proportion of my childhood trying to beat the curiosity and inquisitiveness out of me. To this day, I have to know why. I can't take things at face value. I have an interest in literature and history. Art and music can move me deeply. But as an asian female, I am regarded as an oddity by my immediate social circle (people I can't avoid). Even in a room full of people I feel intrinsically alone. I participate in conversations that I have very little intetest in and bite my lip when I hear some of the narrow minded perspectives that really upset me and I desperately want to challenge. But, in all honesty, I actually envy these people. They live their lives going with the flow of things. They take things on faith and don't question any deeper. They don't trouble themselves with what's happening in the wider world. They are content to adhere to society norms, good or bad and live solely within the constructs of their personal worlds. I have spent a lifetime trying and failing to conform and assimilate into this society. In the end, I have been left with serious mental health issues and no sense of identity . I feel cursed by my intelligence.
I know this is 4 months later but I hope you’re doing ok and sorry you had to deal with all of that. I don’t mean this in an arrogant way but people like us are actually mentally strong and normies are jealous and intimidated. I hope you can manage to be around some people who lift you up and appreciate you for who you are.
Naz by your own description your identity is one of an highly intelligent person that enjoys the fine arts and meaningful conversations. That's a beautiful thing. I can relate 100% with your story. Being an intelligent deep thinker isn't the issue, in my humble opinion. Maybe its low self esteem caused by the childhood relationship with your father. What has worked for me is positive daily self reflection, giving thanks for everything as well as being thankful for my own gifts and accomplishments. I think too much also, so channeling those thoughts into Positive self talk is important. External acceptance from certain social settings is usually temporary anyway. Sometimes the people closest to us are not the best for us. I like NB's reply and if I may add by suggesting that it's ok to be your own best friend at times. We are in challenging times right now and we are not as "alone" as we think we are. Just by reading the comments here you can see that. I hope you find peace.
i'm sorry about all the bigotry and familial abuse but you're not intelligent
I hear you. My loneliness is the same as yours, and I’m incredibly conflicted with the whole ordeal of it because at times I am struck by a searing clarity of thought issued by my capacity to think deeply/have intellectual empathy … other times, this very characteristic makes me want to run away from the world of man to a faraway land where no one knows me because only then will my apparent loneliness diffuse. I have entered university and am constantly surrounded my people, whose names and personalities I forgot either because they are all indistinguishable or I myself am too socially exhausted. Due to this loneliness brought on by a deeper capacity for thought, I feel disconnected from my peers, to the point where I mostly find myself being the friend who jokes around or provides comedic relief or is emotionally unserious because … I think I take on this role because I don’t want people actually experience how hard it is to connect with me (given it’s easier to be around someone whose laid back and only there to lift your spirits). I take on this role because, at this point in my life, it’s easier to be amicable with someone using my outward personality rather than risk social isolation by exposing my inner self. In a given situation, there’s so much I want to say, that I end up saying nothing at all. Anyways, there’s my useless little rant. I hope you can relate to a little of what I am saying, as I too am an Asian women (specifically South Asian). If you want to talk about anything more, or just want to share more thoughts, my contacts are below:
Instagram - @earthlingmash
Email - mashiyat.ahmed2004@gmail.com
Also late to the table, but - embrace it! Allow yourself to revel in what your mind turns to, what information your brain seeks out - the information your brain takes in. Do it simply for your own pleasure. Today I sit wondering how fantastic it would be if the internet hadn't been set up to capture and/or manipulate people. Instead if it had been set up to share all the information of the world just for the pleasure of self education! What a wondrous thing. I walk with a prospectors eye glass - and look at things close - that is how I came to believe in creation. There needs to be someone/something with huge endless heart to create such beauty as the world holds. Figure out your reason for why you are here now - at this great time of turbulence. There is a reason you are who you are right this minute. Trust in that.
I dont think theres a single person who watched this video and thought, "I'm definitely not a deep thinker", its a quality that we think we owe ourselves because of how we know so little about the way others think, effectively making the term itself subjective to the individual mind
That's some deep thinking right there
Seeing the world one way and seeing the absurdity of what the masses do qualifies you as a deep thinker. You're not witnessing the Dunning Kruger effect.
Here's a test to see if you are a deep thinker or not:
Do you care more about sports than politics?
Then you're a simpleton.
Do you believe the bandwagon fallacy of dumbocray is a good system?
Then you're not smart.
Are you proud of your country?
Then you're similar to Nazis.
THANK YOU. I’ve been getting frustrated with all these comments claiming to be deeper thinkers than others… In reality, I think everyone lives a full, complex life rich with interesting thoughts and feelings. It’s just not apparent to us because not everyone wants to jump straight to talking about philosophy or whatever. Just because thoughts are not expressed doesn’t mean they’re not there…
Thank you, this helped to turn my day around.
despite the great content and dialog, the picture, the lightnig, the calm peace in the conversation is soooooo nice to watch. almost like a meditation. thanks for that man!
From my experience, my deeply cerebral and intuitive thinking -- my ability to notice extreme subtlety/small details and recognize patterns, while remaining based in empathy and maintaining a high order of self-awareness/consciousness is met with acceptance and kindness from total strangers through small, random acts of generosity, compassion, etc. and downright hostility from "friends" (especially of the above-average intelligence group who believe they've concluded life's struggles and solved its complexities). Generally they only want to hear what I have to say and only regard my critical thinking aptitude when what I say aligns with their worldviews, and generally avoid two-sided conversation when I have a deeply informed, objective opinion on something. And of course, I always receive no small amount of judgment and ridicule, but normally through gossip as I learn about it later through the grapevine. As a result, at 32, I've developed the ability to make friendly acquaintances with almost anyone and thoroughly loathe more intimate relationships with just about everyone, and completely keep people at bay with a well-crafted facade. I truly believe narcissism is severely under-reported and underestimated in human societies as as whole, and no longer believe that sociopathy/psyscopathy are black and white flags but rather a gradient of personality traits. What I'm not sure of, however, is whether they're on the rise as a result of some larger phenomenon (like social media, constant instant gratification, etc.) or have always been widespread amongst humanity and I can just detect it now (maybe it's a bit of both).
All I know is, as I've gotten older, wiser, calmer and more methodical/pragmatic in my thought process and response to social webs and less optimistic, I've become a lot more reluctant in my capacity to apply empathy in situations, and extremely wary of people and society. Sometimes I feel a bit misanthropic, but I am mostly disgusted with the way humanity operates in modern society. Mostly, I'm just exhausted with people and their constant need for ego stroking and drama fabrication. When you get burned time after time, and taken advantage of people who craft nice little sob stories and play the victim but also have mastered the ability to manipulate good-hearted people, you just don't operate the same way on a fundamental level anymore. I haven't abandoned my morals just to fit with a (really global at this point) society whose moral compass decays rapidly monthly, and as such spend most of my time alone or with my children, but I no longer have the naive innocence/patience I once used to and I no longer suffer arrogant assholes. I'm no longer passive and will defend myself when necessary.
I have learned that the best defense against selfish, narcissistic friends/family, is to go radio-silent. You can't win an ego battle with them, and you can never get justice if you're wronged by one.
Even though I am alone now, for the most part, I almost NEVER feel ALONE. When you conquer little bits of yourself, over time, you become less adjusted towards social groups/groupthink.
Being strong doesn't mean you become like them to survive. Just keep fighting your silent battles, never seek recognition, work hard in private, and the results WILL manifest themselves for you. Always be grateful of something, but never become complacent (one of the few actual sins in the Tao Te Ching) because you stop growing. There's always work to do and an improvement to be made somewhere. You can always strive to be better than you were, without becoming ambitious or being greedy for more.
That was a great read. I resonate with a lot of this. More power to you. I feel strength in your character.
How ironic that strength isn't viewed for how stout introspective people can be? Weakness and vulnerability is actually a strength that many don't process imo. Opening yourself to exploitiveness is a real sign of comfortability and secureness among an ocean of students that are still in the first year of life. They're still wanting the rest of society to be their parents and satiate their attachments disorders are resentments to how life should be because they don't process as is, they have concocted black and white thinking defense mechanisms the cope. This keeps them rigid in their reality testing.
Your thoughts are my thoughts exactly. We are the same age too. Interesting read, thanks for outlining so eloquently
Wow you have a lot to say. That's good
Amazingly put. This really resonated with me too. You sound like a highly astute individual who understands themselves and society on a far grander stage than what most come to accept.
Thank you for your thoughts. Wish you all the best.
Keen observations. But what if you are in fact wrong? It is within the realm of possible, no? I think it’s wise to ask yourself that question as often as you can. Keep it firmly in mind …“could I be wrong?”
Cognitive biases are tricky devils, and they plague every last one of us. It is easy to call out others under that spell, but very hard to see our own…even when we know they are there. Do some real digging, try to really find your own cognitive biases and recognize them for what they are. It is possible
Deep thinking isn't a bad thing at all. Its only through this that I realised I can change the way I think. As opposed to being stuck in toxic programming from childhood and thinking I was a hostage to this way of thinking as an adult.
I live with my husband and oldest daughter and I’ve gone through a number of awakenings and have had a major shift in myself. My mind has grown and I have changed. I’ve always been a deep thinker and was misunderstood as a child so growing up I had a hard time making myself understand because I’m a deep thinker. My husband and daughter are not interested in what I say when I try to engage them in conversation that goes further than the weather or their job or anything that requires more input and when I start taking about things on a deep level they look at me like I’m crazy. I feel very much alone at times. But I do love art and music and long walks and I’m a painter and I’m currently working on a book so I I fill myself with creativity and having a creative mind and I’m happy and find joy in the simple things. I love my solitude and my own company.
It really sucks when the ones you love can't meet your wavelength intellectually, I get it. Anyway, cherish what you have though, because it is a beautiful gift, although none may see it like you do.
I feel like the issue deep thinkers have is they think so deep that it takes time to come to a conclusion and they have difficulty when it comes to spontaneity, repartee and expressing emotions. Needless to say these things are necessary in social relationships so it's no wonder some friends may lose interest.
It's difficult to yearn for more meaningful conversation when it feels like most people around you aren't interested in exploring things in depth
Indeed I've tried many times its like talking to empty vessel
It's not deep-thinking that makes you lonely, it's over-thinking. Getting so caught up in your thoughts that you arrive at inaccurate conclusions detached from the world outside your head is what drives wedges between you and others.
I have learned this through experience, and the best way to avoid such problems is to not take things too seriously. Meet new people, try new things, and just enjoy yourself, while being moderately cautious. Trust but verify.
Thanks, the guy behind me 👀
Thank you
That can definitely be the case, but it doesn't HAVE to be the case. Sometimes you don't have to start over-thinking to come to conclusions about events or people that create friction and divides. Sometimes just understanding enough about something or someone can enable you to see patterns over months and years, and seeing extremely negative choices and behavioral patterns can lead you to grow away from it.
We sure can over-think ourselves into a bad position, but sometimes all it takes is just a little normal thinking to see things for what they are, and sometimes what they are is something you want nothing to do with.
People are idiots. Bring on the wedges.
yes im guilty of that mindset too its hard to balance
I feel as if my deep thinking came from my strong anxiety or maybe even the other way around. Everytime I'd deeply analyze a conversation I was in it would make me anxious and it never felt natural to speak to people unless I was comfortable with them like I'm picking dialogue choices in my head. I still do this now but I give myself a lot more time to process and I'm not as jumpy with responses. I'm glad to see it's not irregular to think so much about certain things.
This video popped up in my feed after waking up and being truly over the feeling of being trapped inside a prison of thought and contemplation. I was truly debating where the bullet should be aimed to minimize failure. Thank you Dr. Peterson. It’s lonely, but never forget, one man’s curse is another man’s blessing. Change your perspective.
I've always been a relatively deep thinker. I tend to think deeply, philosophically and broadly about things. I find that I generally have to repress my wish to speak on this level, because most just aren't interested and don't understand. So, yeah, in my experience, it makes it much harder to find people you connect with.
The arrogance astounds me within these comments. A connection doesn’t need to be intellectual. Maybe your barista should occupy your time on every visit expanding the intellectual depth of the coffee. Everyone will listen just so long as you don’t play intellectual superiority by using a vocabulary they don’t understand to appear smarter than you are, which they shun as you really appear arrogant and dumb. It’s how you express ideas that move others and opens doors within their minds which they then want to fill with interest. Academia is a toxic dump where ideas die within vocabularies to exclude rather than include. It’s a closed shop. A sad situation that’s not improving.
@@brynleytalbot778 I’ve been seeing you respond to everyone who expresses themself as a deep thinker and you immediately accuse them of arrogance. To me it seems you are the arrogant one for shaming other peoples lived experiences. Maybe realize there is truth to the statement? Or I suppose you know FOR A FACT that it’s just arrogance. Get a grip
@@yellow_airman yep, self projection at its best😆
I can kind of see your point but I think a lot of deep thinkers are also just frustrated. I am a deep thinker and good at expressing myself. People much older than me have always come to me for advice about life and been astounded at how much I know despite being in my early 20s.
It's lonley. Very lonley to make friends. I can fit in anywhere because of my social smarts but I'm always compromising a part of myself to fit in with other 20 year olds. I have better conversations with people in their 40s and 50s and 60s but they're at different stages in their life and we can't fully connect on life needs.
@@yellow_airman There’s a trend to join a clique through falsehoods about oneself. It’s an unsavoury practice in social media. I’ve only read a few comments whose language use expresses a true sense of deep thinking. Most comments convey a desire to join/create a clique.
I had my first child at 19. I was often scolded by older mothers for allowing him to climb trees and explore away from me. He’s now 14 and very responsible and hilarious. He knows how to say the most inappropriate things and somehow people don’t get too upset with him for it. I am so glad I had him young it made us very close.
You might want to discourage some of that behaviour from him, they're not upset with him, they're upset with you. You know it's inappropriate - then it is and you must stop it. This is not the age to be 'very close', it's the time for you to be a parent and not a friend, even if you don't know how.
@@somguy728 A video with a fantastic conversation about deep thinking, and you spew the most generic parenting rules and structure to someone expressing their great relationship with their child and the challenges they had to uptake. Please revise the video and come back. I find that the kids who have no filter are always the ones with the kindest hearts as they only want to bring laughter to the room!
@@somguy728 wrong... I think you're a middle aged man.
To op, keep that close relationship.
You did great, my parents were also both 19 when they had me, and now im 20 they are 40 and it is indeed the most privileged thing I have, it’s like having best friends as your parents. And I think it’s supposed to be so, because your souls went into this reality together.
@@milocommentacc.7250 I think you will always be a parent, but you must win their heart. Always be interested in what they're doing. Cultivate the relationship. I'm the first of 10 children and I had 2 of my own. I wasn't perfect. Also, you must set boundaries. Children feel secure with boundaries.🤗
For the people that are prone to thinking a lot, thinking is overrated for them. A new way to escape their patterns of thinking is experiential learning: meaning to be a participant in life instead of conceptualizing it.
Absolutely great question!
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
Friedrich Nietzsche
I got it tattooed on my rib as a reminder
Honestly, it's a great motto to go by daily, helps to keep in mind what matters most
it's like we still struggle with this FACT that.......it's super rare, but sometimes........it isn't really "you" that's the problem.....
but literally every goddamn body else 😂😂😂
Er, he went insane. Diagnosed with manic depression and psychosis. Also a drug user. So I'd be wary about listening to his advice.
So you don't listen to singers or bands that have used drugs?
ideally, we should be wary of everyone's advice and assess situations case-by-case, that doesn't mean that we can't take inspiration from what others say.
Especially if it's someone whose job was to think.
It's not even Nietzsche but Rudyard Kipling who said that btw
I’ve been a deep thinker ever since I was little, I found Greek mythology when I was 11 and then philosophy when I was 12. It helped me to feel more understood, but I felt alienated from most. Especially those my own age. Since I’ve gotten older I still struggle with this, but I deeply appreciate those I can connect with and genuinely share my thoughts with. It’s far better than pretending to be interested in whatever is trending with the majority.
Truth💯
We live life with a purpose, majority of people don't.
No bitches?
Rt
*_John 3.16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”_*
_Jesus Christ loves you. Only Jesus Christ saves. Repent and be saved. God bless you, and the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you and your family._
Definitely, one of the hardest (and most depressive) things to deal with when you disconnect from the Matrix is that the majority of people(most of society) either don’t want to wake up ,aren’t ready to disconnect from the network of lies or even worse, neither both!
100% agree.
The depth of my mind just hit me too and Ive been seeking answers. Glad I am not the only one and Tortured by the ideology that I could have been the only one to have these thoughts
I spend a lot of time alone due to my deep thinking, studies, research, outdoor hobbies, not having a cell phone addiction, and my independent nature
I'm not really lonely to be honest, however it would be nice to make some friends into outdoor activities, sports and fitness
I can ditto your comment. Sometimes I'm left wondering "Oh, I only have one close friend apart from my wife" and then I tell this to her and she'll usually tell me to meet more people and while that sounds fun, ultimately, I'm left wondering if I'll be disappointed (which is almost always the case) when I do meet others because I'm unable to be myself and chat about deep subjects. lol. It's a merry-go-round in my head.
Friends are for the weak.
@@thetavibes9021 Most of my friends are in my head. ;)
@@fashioniconjaylienkay *The universe is mental*
*All is mental*
@@thetavibes9021 Mind's FREE to think
ergo NOT a slave
ergo NOT a slave to physics
ero NOT physical
ergo METAphysical
AKA magical AKA supernatural,
so I just proved spirits are real, and we must come from a Great Spirit.
I've actually had to deal with atheist fanatics who resort to denying being able to think, so I tell them I debate only with thinkers; they disqualify themselves from debate.
It is important to have "healthy" deep thinkers in your social circle. Going deep into the abyss can spell doom. Not just for yourself, but those around you. You can become a poison. It is vital to lift each other up in deep thoughts.
"healthy" being a key word, because you can think deeply about "irrelevance"
You dont understand anything, your just a such social individual, dont pretendent saying that all of us ha e to get some healthy deep think on our groups, thats completely wrong. If you need to have a someone like that ist because your not deep thinker at all because they dont need the company of other deep thinkers.
@@alex_foxy245 well ... If you think you're a "deep thinker" you'd notice how lonely it is to be the only one around doing that. Being lonely brings alot of negative traits with it. Having others who can think deeply creates a piggyback effect as well. "Birds of a feather ..." "Iron sharpens iron" "two brains are better than one" "the more perspective you consider, the better strategy you can formulate"
There is no such thing as healthy deep thinkers.
@@JoeyLegendd like the quote
I’m currently 19, when I was 12 I started to think for real, ”why are we here?” ”is there meaning to any of this?” And so on and so forth. I became so self reflective and obsessed with finding answers that I quickly started answering questions logically, jokes, flirts and other conversations were quickly turned into ”no but for real tho”. I can now send jokes back as hard or harder than they came as I lost my sense of filters, got no clue what love feels like, everytime my friends told me ”she’s totally into you” it never feels real, quickly goes right back to ”that can’t be, why would she choose me when you two are literally better choices”.
Welp now I’m 19 and nothings really changed, still feel unlovable and don’t feel real feelings, can’t even explain them if you asked me. And still am way too logical for my age so talking to people around you is really hard as they are all talking about either small or boring stuff. Meh
If there is something i can imprint on you young chap it's this sentence;
"Act with wisdom, but ACT"
I think you need to focus on this mantra
@@secretname2670 hmm, the thing is, how does one simply ”act” like I can’t act if I have nothing to go act upon. I can probably research this a bit further but I can’t promise that it will bring me any peace.
You mean ”act” as in when you have the opportunity to do so? Or simply ”JUST DO IT”
@@Illvzion do things, get hit , survive, repeat
@@secretname2670 yeah well there’s only one way to get hit hard enough, and that’s either mentally by a potential partner or physically by getting a motorcycle. Been wanting to get one anyways so I guess 1 for 1
@@Illvzion Dont worry just keep going you're alot dumber than you think, dont be so conclusive, maybe become aware of how much you dont know and start figuring it out. Difine what it means to know. To really know any idea, you need to know what it is by defining it, how much it ranges from the smallest to the largest, the nature of it,its opposite, how it manifests, begin to see it in situations. Also having a partner or motorcycle is not what you need at all. Work on yourself first. If you dont know how then find out how. Your awareness, critical thinking and understanding of the word can be sharpened infinitely. Then your physical health. Exercise, food, posture and breath to mention a few. Then theres social things. Your relationships with people,your social understanding, your connection to people, morality, family relations. The your practical day to day skills. Conscientiousness by setting goals, taking care of yourself, seeking to grow, getting better at whatever you do. And of course have dun with it dont take it too seriously and if you dont know how to he playful and non serious then work on your ego and making it smaller and learn some philosophy on the way of life by allan watts or any zen master
I've been this way since my teens, and I seriously long for friendships, but not if they disturb my peace. Its a tough one.
I am a 52 yr old guy and I only discovered within the last 2 years that there is nothing 'wrong' with my not being interested in most people. I honestly hate small talk more than physical pain. I do think we are designed to be social so I am still trying to figure it all out.
I had the same discovery around the same age as well. I also believe that some are gifted with socializing and some are gifted with the ability to think deeply and solve problems. Some are creative or are gifted with productivity or leadership abilities. I dont neccesarily think we are all social, I think our differences are complementary and we all have a role to play in society. I must admit that I find interaction with people in some cases to be painful and I dont feel bad about it a bit.
I'm a 19 yr old and I absolutely despise small talk, theres no substance in it. Nothing genuine. I learned very early what people I do want to be around and the people I dont. I observed my parents and my brothers, and none of them really live the way I want to. I want to enjoy life, but there's no joy in selfishness I've found. Joy is divided between people and that's what I'm trying to do, it just gets really hard. I need to work harder, there is this girl I work with though. Were very similar too, but I'm not sure how it's going yet, I guess I just gotta keep trying. I wish you the best!
You know as much as there is a big age gap between us. We’re all just figuring things out and when I’m 52 i’ll be just like you
They say I’m an introvert just because I don’t like small talk and listen most of the time. I think to myself “Two ears one mouth for a reason”. I don’t like talking but I like brooding over things.
@@kcx2678 soul mate ♥️
I resonate with this so incredibly. I feel so isolated and unable to connect with people and get crazy looks when I try to express my inner dialogue
“Some and all are very different words.” Love the way he said that.
"the more you know, the greater either your malevolence but more likely your despair"
Story of my life. Thank you for putting a voice to those of us who are lonely, deep thinkers.
Mine as well, I spend too much time alone thinking about everything under the sun but also tend to worry a lot about things even when these things are beyond my control, nice to know there is others in the world like myself
here with you
Same
You wish, Nicole
Peterson is lonely not because he's a deep thinker, it's because he is fangirling for Hitler ("you gotta hand it to the guy"), advocating for violence (that time he was upset that society says it's not okay to punch a woman who criticized him in the face and cried about it on air) and is a straight up anti-vaxxer (the time he lost it on twitter, insulted Trudeau and then said "give me death before you give me the vaccine" and complete buffoon (doesn't know what post-modernists are and that they're not synonymous with marxists) and climate change denier (couldn't tell climate and weather apart to save his life but still opened his dumb pie-hole to talk about it for hours) :D but yeah ^^ "hE iS lOnElY bEcAuSe hE iS a dEeP tHiNkEr"
Being lonely is when you complain about being alone.
Being alone is when you're alone by choice.
That's the difference. Hence your question is a little vague.
However, deep thinkers should figure out when to be social, take away the pleasures from it, and know when exactly to get out of it. If not, the person isn't thinking deep enough.
Very true. Perhaps the only deep thought I’ve read in this comments section where there’s a deep lonely need to belong depicting a host of lonely people who’ve made themselves that way through thinking themselves too superior to engage in normal social interactions.
@@brynleytalbot778 this was a long sentence. But from what I decipher from it, I feel what's being mistaken is "wanting the like minded" with the notion of "too superior to engage in normal conversations".
However, wanting to engage also depends on the possible length of the interaction too.
"There's a difference between you can earn everything that is earnable and you deserve everything there is!" hit the nail for me.
I love the way Jordan Peterson structures his ideas in a clear and straight fashion, showing a deep understanding of what he's talking about. in my opinion he's one of the best communicators in the world.
I believe deep thinking is associated with paying attention to small detail even in a person's conversation or tone of voice, so immediately when you start understanding that you can't have an intellectual conversation with that person, you have to agree to disagree and keep it moving.
Same with dating. There are signs at the beginning stages that the other person just sux. Again, a good time to keep it moving.
I am a deep thinker and most around me cannot relate. My over-thinking of abstract concepts and future possibilities leaves me often unable to manage the day-to-day.
At least you're not cattle like most people. Feel good knowing that you are above others on the scale of human consciousness
I've always been like this as well, (archetypical INTP.) But lately I've matured, and started taking care of myself. I advice you to do the same, your thinking will improve exponentialy, and your social battery will increase as well.
Don't be like the guy above, he's bitter and arrogant which leads to lesser quality in logical thought, and consistency.
It also shuts down being able to see more possibilities.
just a little tip: try to find a job that "grounds" you in reality. like a job with ppl or a trade. an office job or jobs where you don't have a lot of doing, is gonna kill you if you have that tendency. just my 2 cents
@@NotFragPlx that’s exactly what I do. I work with low income parents trying to get educated and obtain Working/Middle class jobs or better. Their small successes is what keeps me going, besides my own family, and they’re the reason I still get up every day. Problem is, I was “one of the best” in my field and my class but have been unable to advance at all in the organization that I’ve devoted a decade to. I’m trying to move on to something new, but no one will interview or hire me. It’s not my doing-I teach people how to land jobs yet I cannot seem to do so. Anyways, I’m sick of watching the rich get richer while the rest of us get wrecked by the economy THEY created. By they, I mean the corporate political establishment of both parties. They only argue over their side’s pet social issues and NEVER address the economic factors other than to throw money at it-money that surprisingly ends up concentrated in the hands of the ultra rich. I took our stimulus and bought a rifle, and invested the rest. Mostly in Bitcoin. Anything I put in the stock market gets wiped out-without fail. But then again, I entered while the market was at a top in most sectors and bought before the December fed minutes released and crashed most tech/growth stocks. I want to know where I can park my money for a year and at least maintain it-maybe see a meager 7-10% return. Any ideas of what will last in this tumultuous market?
Funny how this conversation was related to another I was having on a finance channel out trading and building wealth-they’re all related, so, sorry if it seems out of left field talking about wages and income/investing.
My parents told me "You can be anything... but you can't be everything."
Ecclesiastes 1:18 For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
Ecclesiastes 12:12 And by these, my son, be further warned: There is no end to the making of many books, and much study wearies the body.
I actually credit my ability to be by myself and be entertained by own thoughts on the fact that I'm an only child. I spent a lot of time alone and learned how to enjoy my own company. I definitely get lost in my thoughts but I'm not claiming I'm a deep thinker.
the first person to write something on here that's not complete self-absorbed bullshit. Thank you. There might still be some hope for humanity left. Peterson is a liar and a demagogue though.
@@kaivogel253 ^^ amen. Tired of seeing prodigy’s comments. Being able to admit that, is deep enough. Too many people on here trying to prove it.
@@omarvmr Yup, sad that people feel the need to be recognised. I mean we may be deep thinkers, but bragging about it is exactly what makes someone not a deep thinker. Stay humble.
They also don’t realize that in order to have deep conversations you have to actually be someone’s friend first
thank you for being the first person in this viscerally repulsive comment thread who didn't happily diagnose themselves with being simply too smart to have friends. congratulations, you are at least better than these totally self-absorbed morons who fall for Peterson's shtick
Absolutely correct. Thinking deeply is a trait rare amongst most people and if you're mind works in an uncommon way then you're not going to be with the common. It's been the story of my life, I push people away because I'm deterred by how shallow others think and others deter me because they think I'm too complicated.
You display judgement and arrogance which aren’t positive. It’s the ability to engage at all levels and tailor your vocabulary to the audience that defines a truly deep thinker. The attempt to distance oneself simply exhibits a profound character deficit.
@@brynleytalbot778 true, also the fact he claims to know the reason why others dont associate with him, which is cuz hes too complicated, is quite arrogant to say. maybe youre just exhausting to deal with? because you put your needs way above those of the people around you?
Wisdom is realizing yeah... It's not common. Common sense ain't common. XD Hell most people don't want to or actively seek not to think too deeply about anything.
Also don't listen to these doubters. People never wanna omit the possibility that you might have evidence and experience to back uo what youre saying. Didn't come off as arrogant or anything.
Anyone thats even somewhat introverted deals with the distance they created when they chose to go deeper. Group mechanics are very real and not everyone chooses to go along with them creating again that distance. It just is what it is. Pursue and hope for like minds to find you. XD
Ironically, your comment betrays the real reason you seem to push people away... you might be a deep thinker, but you seem to lack self-awareness.
I can definitely relate to deep thinking, especially to what Jordon P talked about, because of how much I have to deal with in my life. The consistent stress I have at home and outside of my life can be unbearable for some people. It could lead people to go insane or have a thought of committing suicide. But when you reflect on yourself, your actions, your life, and your circumstances. You being to understand many other aspects of life that some majority of people may not realize. And those aspects of life that you discover when you are alone and you're at a dark place can help turn on a deep switch inside you that changes you in becoming more knowledgeable. I am not saying that it is bad to have friends, I have some too, but when you spend too much with friends or people in your life. You don't really think much about reflecting on your life and it's circumstances. Staying too long with friends can also dampen your understanding of things about life. Staying in a group doesn't really get you to think deeply and all it does is fill you with ideas from other people which you gain from being in that group. For those who are stressed out there, feel alone, or had certain negative thoughts of giving up. Don't give up, continue to reflect and think about your life. Use your songs as fuel to reach your goals. My word of advice is that if you listen to your emotions and you succumb to the vice in your head that tells you that you can't achieve anything then ultimately that would be like giving up and you won't grow or prosper. If you ever need help, seek it out. Even lonely people need to have at least one person they can go and talk to. All the changes in time so work hard, grind, discipline yourself, and have the mentality to grow and never give up. I
Some brilliant comments here.
Great listening and scratches my itch of wanting and needing an open, intelligent and thought provoking conversation.
I’m sick to death of having a conversation with people and they just turn it straight on to them, it turns me off instantly, where have all the open minded, creative, deep thinkers gone?
Listening to professor Peterson is always challenging and educational.
I think deeply but I wouldn't say I was lonely.
I have less "friends" than many but those I have are valuable.
Also those of us who think deeply tend to be rather disagreeable because we challenge the narrative and that does not always make friends because to be friends with us requires work.
And requiring work shouldn't be a bad thing because I think it's the opposite: usually good things come from hard work. And I enjoy hard work.
Very true. The hardest part is that this mindset is nothing somebody can see with their eyes. Creates a lot of masking situations where people expect you to play by the script and you exhaustingly have to play their pretend games. Its mind boggling that society as a large portion take the daily life of acting out a character and saying pre scripted lines they use every time as the natural way for people to be.
No bitches?
*_John 3.16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”_*
_Jesus Christ loves you. Only Jesus Christ saves. Repent and be saved. God bless you, and the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you and your family._
Difference between feeling lonely versus being alone.
I definitely think it's a class thing, just from my personal experience. I grew up in very working class areas of inland California and Idaho, but my career has been in Los Angeles and San Francisco, among a very different class of people. My friends' children are like aliens to me. They're delicate and sensitive and thoughtful to the point of weakness. I mean, teenage brothers who watch tv, hugging each other. Kids who don't want to ride their bikes further than their own block. Teens who don't have any interest in getting a driver's license. Where I grew up, sibling relations were competitive, vulnerability was mocked, and the world was something to aggressively explore and even antagonize. And they still are that way, when I go home to visit.
deep thinkers are often delicate and sensitive, that doesn't make them weak though, in fact it can make them incredibly strong and willful people if they can direct that sensitivity into something productive
Oddly been on both sides of the equation, at this point. First grow up in a shoddy, dilapidated slum of a downtown core with abusive, narcissistic parents from a family of first-generation refuges; Afterwards, move to a clean-cut suburban area of wealthier demographics in your adolescence coupled with further softening into university.
The result from each move used to shock me as a kid, almost as if entering entirely different worlds. I vividly remember just prior to moving between areas that classmates were constantly harassing, bullying, and dissing their own teammates over stupid shit in teams sports -- Contrast that to the school after moving, which was so damn pristine it stunned me to watch my teammates in basketball actually encourage each and exchange pats on the back over missed shots. Handshakes with the other team, and school uniforms? The actual fuck? You'd get shoved, beat, and mocked for days on end for being any less than useful in a nearly meaningless game, just prior. Begs the question, what is normal? Answer is, normal is relative and constrained to your environment.
Looking back as an adult who's done enough research on personality disorders and traumatic recovery, I now realize a good half of my class in my first decade had alcoholic and abusive households from 1st-gen refuge parents. The latter demographic had mostly professionally educated, 2nd-gen refuge parents. To say that I'm proud of my roots is a reach, but I don't bear any regrets experiencing the rougher decade. Those nightmarish memories instilled a ton of gratitude for the most basic needs of survival, including a once-desperate wish for safety from my own bloody guardians, which has now been realized. Ironically, I still have work to do on this matter, so best of luck to anyone also working through their personal issues, dysfunctional behaviour, and self-sabotaging beliefs.
That doesn’t make you a deep thinker. It makes you stuck in the past and wanting everyone else to be in the past so you can feel comfortable with the next generations progression.
Sure I agree kids growing up now have some serious issues but living like what you suggest isn’t proper either. I’m the youngest out of my whole family and both my siblings are 11, 13 years older than me. My parents made it big but always had working class mentality.
Each child isn’t cookie cutter were you can just throw some blanket statement on how things should be because frankly the parents who raised the last few generations were very ignorant also. Gotta come at each kid with what works best for them so you can help cultivate them to flower.
Unfortunately we people only seem to know extremes in one way or another missing the so obvious balance that life needs to be at its best and most bright!
I understand what you are saying though, kids have become little bubble kids.
easy times > weak men ?
That's more of a generational and urbanized concept than anything else. From your story it sounds as you're old enough to be from when being a latch key kid was still common. I feel that's something that has been dying out in the last 2 decades. Glad my parents allowed me that privilege. No cellphones, be home for dinner mentality was the best as a kid
"The more you learn, the less you know." This concept can be maddening at times. Especially when studying scientific theories. If you go down a rabbit hole, it can almost make life seem pointless.
I am only just learning to dig deeper into my needs and wants and the depths of my love for myself. I am definitely alone. But I am far from lonely. I’ve felt lonely most of my life whistle being surrounded by people who fit with my facade. Be unforgivably you. Set your mind free. Start LIVING
As I reflect upon why I so intensely resonate with Jordan Peterson, it occurs to me that he manages to clearly and precisely articulate many things I’ve thought but either have been unable to express or lacked the time to express. Something about that builds up a great deal of trust in me towards him.
I certainly don’t agree with everything he believes, but I believe he is doing his upmost to be genuine and honest. I certainly am more willing to accept his truth claims when compared with those of commercial or ideological (religious, philosophical and/or political) representatives such as professors/experts, actors/journalists, politicians/leaders, or fundamentalists/activists. He is passionately dispassionate about so many things, but passionate about human potential and self-determination. He is also passionate about uncovering self-deception and deception in general. I admire Jordan Peterson.
he deceived you most of all. Peterson is laughably wrong in almost every subject he touches. Just check out what he thought he said about "climate" while confusing it with "weather" xD
@@kaivogel253 Perhaps. But his position on the climate agrees entirely with the position of all seven climatologists who I know personally. My counter argument is that you may be the one who is deceived by the systematic biases of main stream media with their penchant for junk science. I also possess a degree in psychology and I commend Peterson for standing against a leftist/PC/woke ideological campaign to reshape psychology in particular, corrupt academia broadly, and to frankly disfigure society according to their very extreme agenda. As a critical thinker, I immediately reject intellectual or scientific paradigms that silence, censor, belittle or otherwise marginalize alternative perspectives. I consider those who embrace such bullying to be either cowards, useful idiots, those who would negotiate/compromise with evildoers or the bullies themselves. A vast number of people buy into climate hysteria, but Peterson is right in two ways: 1) The crisis is largely a manufactured one, and 2) inasmuch as we have impacted the climate, we have no idea how to address it.
No bitches?
I think it's truth. Truth always resonates but you have to be honestly seeking it. Children are the heart of truth without ego, their observations will bring down a self described, 'deep thinker' faster than reality.
Whenever I want to have an intellectual and intelligent conversation I talk with myself.
Dr. Peterson came into my life at the exact same time that I needed him to. I require his knowledge regularly.
Many times I have had friends tell me that I am a deep thinker and it feels like they are complimenting me which makes me uncomfortable. It is as if they are acknowledging a talent that I demonstrate but its just who I am. In any case the fact that people feel compelled to comment on it at all makes me feel like they are perceiving a parlor trick on my part. Invariably I am mortified that someone thinks I am trying to impress them with my 'big brain'.
Thinkers are analyzers. If you have working pattern recognition, you will do this with the people around you and realize how much their behavior and ideology does not match your own. That's where the feeling of loneliness comes from.
This was brilliant. Entering my late 20’s I have spent around 12 years constantly learning and striving towards a deeper understanding of myself striving towards self actualisation, with an almost obsessive ferocity. I’ve understood my mental health with the help of my partner (she is a psychotherapist) to such a scary degree that it feels like I’ve spent a lifetime on this stuff. In that respect I have never met anyone like me which is shocking and that has been an abyss at times. It has me thinking, at what point is ignorance bliss? Something I know I’ll never find out .
@Kelly Q I legitimately had a physical visceral reaction to reading your words 😀 Thank you for taking the time to connect! The internet can be a wonderful place.
Kelly Q said pretty much exactly what I wanted to say when reading your comment. My goodness, it's amazing. I'm only 21 and ever since I can remember I've been obsessively self analyzing and trying to improve myself. It's what I feel my whole life is about. I'm truly glad to know you two exist!
@@isabellaa.7613 It feels like a gift and a curse at the same time! One thing I’d recommend is mindfulness. If I didn’t practice mediation (again I started doing it through the lens of self improvement initially) I would not be able to take a step back and reorient myself and look at the bigger picture. A nihilistic approach but I ask myself will I be regretful on my deathbed, should I have spent more time with friends, family, my daughter instead of reading another book and learning a new skill. Something I struggled with initially when I was around 23 was that couldn’t fathom how nobody else wanted to search for a deeper meaning to the same extent. I’d say during that period was the most isolating and I kind of didn’t really like people all that much. It fostered an arrogance in me (what is wrong with everyone) that I had to eventually address. I suppose it’s something you gain with wisdom as you get older which I couldn’t force through the raw acquisition of knowledge. Mindfulness is a game changer for people like us.
@@ashleyedwards3082 that's a great advice, makes a lot of sense to me. I do often have the problem of getting too caught up in my own inner intricacies, incessantly trying to function in a "perfect" way, only to be profoundly disappointed with my own "human-ness". That arrogance is something I can relate to, unfortunately, I feel it keeps me from seeing the wisdom of simplicity. I hope to outgrow that as soon as possible :') anyways, thank you so much for putting time and effort into writing such great advice! Wish you all the best!!!
Ignorant bliss is just being ignorant towards your thinking not giving it any more content after the first initial thought. Over time your body will break free from your mind and you’ll only discover bliss which is essentially what you are. You see, no amount of logical, rational thinking can give you this experience as long as the one who is thinking has dissolved Or become hidden. If you visualize a cave man and threw language on top of him. Would he attach an I on to himself. No of course not it would just be language with nobody using it. This is real freedom and liberation.
With intelligence comes loneliness the same goes for those that are highly empathetic. Furthermore, it benefits one to be cognizant of the result or impact that it presents to others and oneself.
Being high empathetic means your more lonely? In a way i feel that. Is it being empathetic when you always think about feelings of other, like oh he’s gonna be alone lets not do that
@@bisbillelatuile7057More like as you realize how many malicious and resentful people are out there that have no concern for anyone but themselves, you begin to feel like you’re the only one in your life that actually cares about others.
This is sooo true..i do this talk to
my self...i dont even know is it ok thoug..sometimes i think im so crazy..but the sametime i realise that its how you grow..its knoladge..you discovering the posibilities...
I was thinking this today. Life was so much easier when you’re not so self aware. Sometimes it’s simpler to just fit in and go through life like a sheep and not think for yourself.
You’re so deep and such a intellectual
@@t.f.7974 why are you resentful and Jealous?
The greatest ability is to harness the integration of the power. Use it when it’s necessary. Difficult situations, disputes and to keep you on track to better yourself while keeping a firm ground on an objective reality.
@@jonpaulcox4954 I don't think he was being mean :) He was paying a compliment.
The reason why childrens are happy because they don't have self awareness
I have been lonely my whole life and am only child if anything I’m used to it and it definitely has made me a deep thinker most people want someone to share their life with me being the overthinker I am just sees a divorce or unhappy marriage. To really be happy in life you have to love yourself and who you are then things will unfold as they should
I can relate to you worldview.
'things will unfold as they should'. That's a bunch of Pollyanna bollocks, same swill that's trotted out to everyone in intolerable circumstances. 'you have to love yourself' - here's the translation: broken people are worthless and deserve to rot in lonely misery.
@@Carandini There’s narcissistic self love, an inner destructive force, and the acceptance of oneself and one’s individual qualities and values, self love, and the acknowledgment of not wishing to impose those on others, an inner positive force.
Only child here too of older parents. Learned early on, you gotta become a person you like to become your own best friend cause the opposite choice is lonelier.
As Einstein said “As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it.”
Something in this quote makes sense in this topic as well.