The Secret to a Happy Marriage- Biblical Femininity for the Traditional Christian Wife
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- čas přidán 28. 06. 2024
- Biblical Femininity for the Traditional Christian wife! Marriage is being attacked in todays culture, I hope this video gives you practical ways of being a happy cheerful wife. God bless you!
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I think it is also a big 'pride' issue. I was raised by a mother who actively chooses - all the days of her life - to be very, very un-cheerful. She has it in her mind that she has legitimate REASONS to be mad, irritated, etc...because other people are interfering with her time or not giving her what she wants. That is pride - thinking you are more important than others or that you have the right to argue & be right all the time. I have that proverb about dwelling in the corner of the housetop, instead of dealing with the quarrelsome woman hung by my kitchen sink right now, so that I do not forget & keep my sometimes-argumentative attitude in line. What people don't realize is that when you go about with an intentionally un-cheerful attitude that you leave a lot of wreckage in your wake. My mother constantly complains that clerks, store workers, family members, etc...are 'rude' to her. I can frequent the very same stores/businesses & NEVER receive bad service. She then gets very jealous about other people's positive interactions. What she never stops to consider is her very negative, complaining, vexatious, contentious attitudes, her miserable look on her face, & her sharp tongue. People give her a wide berth in life & then she is lonely. I do not want to be lonely & recognize that people don't gravitate to others who are never cheerful. This behavior from un-cheerful folks literally has the power to ruin a clerk's day, erode a child's or spouse's self confidence, etc...I have found myself disengaging more & more with folks that take this attitude towards life. Birds of a Feather Flock Together.
I have recently come to this realization about my mom. She has a very unapproachable facial expression, even when just sitting around family. The constant complaining and negative outlook on almost everything is completely draining. It's gotten to the point where I'm put off if she is in a good mood. Now being a parent myself, I can see how her demeanor has impacted my childhood, and I want different for my own children. I have seen the difference in the interactions we with people, and it's all based on attitude.
@@mscuterthanacupcake Oh my goodness this comment made me laugh - because my parents came over 2 days ago & after they left I said to my husband, "wow, my mom was actually in a good mood! Wonder what's up???"🤣 I have come to realize that the effect on me is that #1 I can physically feel when someone is in a bad mood & it makes my whole body tense & hurt & #2 it makes me very insecure & not able to read facial expressions correctly sometimes & leaves me unsure of myself/my perceptions. Every friend that has met my mother, while being at my home, makes a comment later like, "Gee, I don't think your mom liked me very much. Did I say something wrong?" And we are GROWN women in our 40s. I just tell them, no, my mom doesn't like herself, got nothing to do with you. At a party recently I overheard her making a comment to a family member that "being home all day with just your family is boring & miserable" so I guess that explains the problem. Glad I don't feel that way
@@pattyhansen7563 I'm so glad you have learned how it affects you. Having children completely opened up my mind to how I was feeling, which is the same. I get so that my husband can tell something is wrong after just talking to my mom on the phone. And I've had friends say the same thing. Thank goodness my husband has a thick skin and is sometimes unaware/doesn't care to entertain people's attitudes. She wasn't very nice to him while we were dating.
Oh wow Kelli! This was gold and biblically sound. The Lord is preparing me for marriage and indeed, He has been teaching me the importance of being cheerful and creating a Godly home environment/sanctuary that serves my husband and thereafter my kids!! I thank and pray to God for you.
I'm so glad! And well done for stewarding this season wisely. God bless you and I pray that God will direct your steps to your future husband
Absolutely. I am cheerful by nature but I also choose to be cheerful (I actually avoid people that drag me down with their negativity).
You made a good point: It’s actually really hard to be highly productive AND remain cheerful.
As the keeper of the home, my family‘s happiness hinges on my mood. This was hard for me to learn because I like to get things done, but I’d rather not-yell at my children than get a project done.
I feel blessed that your voice is a positive one in social media. I have started my much awaited season of staying at home and I play videos like yours to keep me company as I labor at home.
“Resting UPSET face”. 😂 I’m guilty, and that’s not what I’ve called it. This version sounds much more classy ….
hahaha Scott called it the actual thing in another video once, and we had many upset comments about it, so I've changed it around a bit ☺️
Haha, I like your clean version better. So now I'm going to call it "looking RUF" 😂 and we don't want to look like that, we want to look happy, cheerful ☺️
My oldest daughter has that face naturally and she is one of the most positive person I know!😅
Thank you for making this video. I really needed this and felt the Spirit while listening. ❤
I am so glad to hear this! Praise the Lord and God bless you!
Great video! But now I really want to know what your go to potluck recipes are! Could you do a video or post on that, please? We can all use some healthy church potluck ideas! 😊
That's a great idea!
Oh my goodness, this is all so good, but you had me laughing tears about potluck Sundays. 😂 I can relate. We joined an old fashioned Independent Baptist Church this year and they sometimes have multiple church meals in the same week. At times it really does feel a bit overwhelming and it can also get expensive. 😅 So, to stay cheerful, I use this as an opportunity to indulge in making one of our favorite desserts from scratch. They are not healthy, but sharing them is definitely a healthier option. 😊
Yess, that is so true! I definitely save those desserts for potluck, it's a good reason to fix them!!
SO thankful to the Lord for His message to my heart through you today, sister!! It is exactly what I needed to hear and I can't wait to honor the Lord in this realm, by His Spirit's help!! Your attitude and love for Christ is utterly refreshing.
Oh Praise God, I love when He does that!
I loved the thought of outside home you can choose to be happy and in the home choose to be or not to be
my husband is in recovery from alcoholism - 22 years sober last month! - and they have a saying. "Happiness is an inside job"
This makes cheerfulness more reachable. Thank you for explaining this is great detail. I am a mother of four young girls and one son, I find this a bit difficult to explain and when things come up that need to be explained I get into my head to much. I then feel guilty for the ways that I have chosen to handle things. I now really want to come along side my girls and show then that mama is just like them, it is a repledge to choose cheerfulness and that we are going to up roots these sinful ways of living. I have really focused on my home and family a lot in the last year. Doing this God has showed me just how important all of these things are. There is so much work to do and I am so thankful for the opportunity to now feel motivated to do so. The truth is the motivation that I needed. Thanks for your time and thoughts!
I'm so thankful it was helpful! God bless you!!
This is such a blessing! Oh the Lord knows I needed to hear this today. Joy!
I'm so thankful it was helpful!
Thank you so much for this encouraging and honest video Kelly! I really needed to hear this and I love that you include scripture as well. Your wisdom and what the lord is leading you to share here on CZcams has such a blessing to me. I’m continually praying for you and Scott and that God bless you with children, what incredible parents you two would make.
Thank you so much Grace, that is so encouraging to my heart!
Thank you so much Kelli for this video. This is a blessings for me. I feel like this message is for me. From potluck to selling, etc. ❤
I just adore you, Kelli. Bless your heart, sister. Keeping growing in your faith! 🙏❤
P.S. LOVE the journals!!
Beautiful message Kelli! Those are lovely journals. It's been a while since I've seen one of your videos and I didn't realize that you sell journals! I wish you success and blessed prosperity with your journals.
Thank you so much for the encouragement!!
Beautiful, Biblical, and greatly encouraging 💕
You are such a wise young woman!
Y really appreciate your content. As a Christian Business owner wife and mother, it gives me a lot of tips, to keep my joy. I also wonder, why no homemaker here on CZcams called herself a business owner wife, even though make and edit videos is a full time job for others. This is a hard work that takes more time Thant selling goods.
Hi, you are right, making/editing videos takes a lot of time! I think some people probably should call it that, if it rules them like a job would. For me, I don't want my identity wrapped up in it, I hold it with open hands, if my time and peace doesn't allow for me to do it, then I won't. I do not put pressure or obligation on myself when it comes to youtube- it must always be a fun thing for me. That's why I don't guarantee a video on a certain day/days of the week because then it would feel like a job/obligation.
Hello kelli,
I am new to this channel and I like it too. 😊😊😊
Kelli, thank you so much for this wonderful reminder!
Thank you for this video! So good ❤ LOVE the journals! That would be so cool to make journals
Love this! Thank you for the encouragement
That was just gorgeous!
Exactly what I needed to hear today!
I'm so glad, God bless you!
Oh this video is great! Also will you share the crockpot meals please?
Yes! I've been working on this video after popular demand after sharing this, so it will be up in a week or so!
Those journals are gorgeous!! I would love to buy if I lived in the US
Thank you so much!!
I can't tell you how timely this is for me. Thank you so much. This is my renewed focus. I am going to rewatch this several times.
I'm so thankful it was helpful, God bless you!
My daughter makes homemade journals too! Very similar to yours.
Thanks for this video, it was super encouraging. God bless!!!❤
Oh how special! They are really fun to make and a nice skill to have! God bless you as well!
Wonderful video! I would love to see more natural/homemaker cleaning videos!
I love what you're saying about the church potluck! I am on the exact same page with you. Our church also does a weekly potluck and we stopped going as well because we tend to eat very healthy and not that the food there is not good and we don't have a wonderful Christian women who are good cooks but it's just not how we eat
Excellent video!! 🤩
Thank you! 😃
I get stressed and grumpy so, so easily. Being engaging and chipper for others, even my kids, is so very draining for me. This is going to be a true challenge, but I really want to try. I think the key is to find a way to make the cheerfulness genuine, and since I'm easily overstimulated I may need to go to more extreme measures than others might. Getting off social media and limiting screen time in general, for example. But I just really need to reframe my expectations too. I can never meet my own expectations, and no one else can meet them either. If I can lower my expectations, it will feel better when I do better than I thought I would. But that's challenging too, because lowering my expectations shouldn't look like pessimism, or I won't be cheerful at all... lol.
Mental gymnastics at its finest....
Oh wow so you met him there!!! I love that!!! Would love to connect and get to know you guys more! My hubby and I met in Australia. I was studying abroad and he had immigrated with his parents from SA.
Oh how neat that you guys met in Australia! What brought you there? And I'm curious where you guys are living in the states now?
@@homewithkelli Right? So I went to Australia for a semester abroad and I met Johan (total South African name, right! 😉) at church! And we got to know each other, became friends, and then started dating before I came home to finish my last semester of college. We were in a long-distance relationship for 5.5 years and stayed in touch online and through video chat. And through visits once or twice a year depending on the year.
We live in North Dakota! :) Where do you guys live?
Gret video! What is a potluck? I'm quite new to church life and live in the uk and haven't heard of it before?
I totally agree about cheerfulness.
My late MIL taught me this, even when she was dying. I asked her why and she said "well its bad enough for us all without making it worse adding misery too."
She's with the Lord now, free of pain and waiting to see us all again!
I want my husband to want to come home and I want to be the one he loves to be with, his peace, love and laughter.
The last few months have been difficult due to mjor surgery but I have chosen to be cherrful.
He's very proud of me as he sees the tears on bad days but the rest of the time I'm happy and just glad that I get to go to heaven at the end of all this 🙏🏽💕
Hi! Potluck is where everyone brings a dish and we eat together after church. I hope you have recovered from your surgery well. God bless you and your family!
Im new to your channel! Thank you for sharing this. It is something I needed to hear, although a hard pill to swallow. This is something I struggle with more often than Id like and I don’t want to feel or act this way, but have never known how to fix it. I always start out great and mean well and then seem to fall off the wagon when life’s stresses hit me and it makes me feel miserable all over again and it really does affect our health. I loved you’re suggestions on setting up preventative measures to help when these regular stresses do come up to prevent it from stealing our joy. I look forward to watching your other videos!
I couldn't find your journals on your website
Thank you so much for your interest! I'm sold out, but in the process of making more right now and hope they will be up at the beginning of July!
I love this video. Thank you. I struggle with cheerfulness sometimes. Maybe you or someone can advise me- sometimes I want to ‘vent’ to my husband and tell him about a rude interaction I had with a stranger or maybe an acquaintance out in the world but I notice every time I do this, I never get back what I’m looking for… and that’s him feeling sorry for me or at least empathetic? I don’t say horrible things about the person or anything… I just notice I am met with like a blank stare and it honestly makes me feel like I Over shared? Am I wrong to share with my husband when I get my feelings hurt by other people? I’m honestly just seeking his advisement. But 9 times out of 10 it ends up making me feel like I’m the petty one when I share with him? I’m honestly confused. I comfort him when he comes to me with people hardships. But I feel like I should not go to him? Maybe I keep it private? Thanks
I feel the exact same way! lol I find some personalities need to vent more than others. Extraverts tend to talk a lot, share a lot and take in a lot that needs to be expressed! I am finding that journaling is helping me. I just dump all my crazy thoughts there first! I also find that my sister and Grandma take my thoughts better than my husband after he gets home from a long day at work. Timing is also key and I don't do this well either, but I tend to dump shortly after he gets home instead of waiting until a quieter time when he isn't reoccupied with the long day. Also perhaps asking yourself if you should have been upset by the thing? Was it just a silly thing? Oftentimes I can really overreact over something small. Being a mother makes me focus on tiny details ALL day long and sometimes I will dump some thing on my husband that SEEMED so terrible, but after I say it I realize it wasn't really that big of a deal compared to big life things. Just my thoughts. This is a big struggle for me as well that I'm trying to figure out since I get that blank stare as well. Sending hugs
@@kaitlinfarley9867 this was so helpful! Thank you
I would say that women are much better at listening to this kind of interaction with other women. Men tend (in their nature) to want to give a solution or fix what you are upset about. If the interaction has already passed, there isn't much 'advice' for him to give & that is what men usually want to do. And some men (mine is who I am thinking of) would want to say, "What's the big deal?" but know that is not going to go over well when you are already upset - so they say nothing. I have also found that once I get going on a 'vent' it is hard for me to redirect to something positive. My husband will actually quite rudely say, "I don't want to 'talk' about this topic - any. more." and he just ends the conversation. In the moment it makes me feel pretty bad, but even now as I am reflecting on it, sometimes I just need to shut up, for lack of a better phrase. Because....if I start going down that track, I can never get off & we'll spend all evening 'talking' about things that make us mad. Often it isn't anything he can fix or offer any constructive criticism, so I am NOT looking for anything productive out of the conversation. & tbh, I usually have an inkling that said topic will 100% irritate him & know better than to even bring it up, so I just should talk about it with a girlfriend or something.
@@pattyhansen7563 this was helpful. Thank you!!
I think it depends on the man. My husband is ok with me venting and telling him my thoughts, experiences, emotions. But some men might not be.
At 52, I get so embarrassed when I see women today throwing a temper tantrum like a child. I am embarrassed for them and the elder women in their family.
As for happiness, we as individuals must find what makes us happy and share that happiness far and wide.
I had a very intense moment of embarrassment for a woman at church 2 weekends ago. She literally accosted our priest as he was lining up the altar servers at the back of church. She was in his face literally yelling - I mean the whole back of the church could hear the whole thing - about an event that she wanted to have happen (a feast day for our church's patron saint) that didn't because no one got back to her about scheduling. He was sputtering ( he is only 27, just a 'baby' LOL) and I'm sure at that moment didn't know what to say. His attention should be on the holiness of mass & praying to God as he is heading down the aisle. I wanted to hide under the pew. This woman tends to go around with a scowl on her face most of the times i have seen her (don't know her at all). I felt so embarrassed & sad. It was such an awful tantrum for something where the 'harm' was already done - the feast day was past & better luck next year. I would be equally embarrassed if it had been anyone else that she yelled at, but it seemed like a very unfair assault on an innocent party & one who has better things to do in that moment than field complaints.