What Your Narcissist Will Do If You Leave Him/Her. Preview Escaping Narcissism Seminar Video
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- čas přidán 5. 07. 2019
- Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC latest book, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018) and his personal development, seminars, workshops, and other services can be found at his Self-Love Recovery Institute company, www.selfloverecovery.com/
Ross is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and author and is known globally for his expertise in codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder™), Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma Treatment.
His book, “The Human Magnet Syndrome” sold over 120,000 copies and is translated into ten languages. Ross’s CZcams channel has amassed over 19 million video views and more than 200K subscribers. He is a keynote speaker and educator who has presented educational workshops in 30 States/70 cities and abroad. Ross has been regularly featured on national TV and radio.
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I walked away from many people, many family members, and I am prepared to walk away from more if I have to. I don't feel sorry for myself at this loss. I feel empowered to choose not to have toxic people in my life.
Exactly so true!
Well done🥳
8 billion people in the world, so letting a few leeches or parasites go isn't any real loss
Very well I've done the same
Me too been there meeee to they miss me terribly I don't miss a thing not a thing. I miss not realising earlier what dind of people my sisters were, nearly £200,000 gone they bought their houses I still rent, they discouraged me from doing anything for me, the family need you, despite me not having a partner or children they had both, their arrogance and selfishness makes me feel sick, they even lied in our parents death about what was in the will, they died 4 days apart 10 years later I got copies of the wills and there was nothing that they said was in the wills, I want nothing more to do with them ever.
When toxic people exit your life, it's never a loss. Clearing garbage out makes space for 🌼🌷🌹 to grow.
True.
Sometimes the “garbage” takes it self out
They attempt to triangulate and smear you. Its like clock work. They'll also try to get u back just so they can play 'gotcha'. They're Monsters.
so true
Yes 💯💯💯
For 15 years I stuck with this monster. During 12 years, I filed the divorce but he contest! He managed to convince me he will changed. A few times he leave on his own and he comes back. When I kicked him out because he try to control, manipulate, and slander my name. He created a hostile environment for all of us. I am done with him. Just horrible human being!
lol evil af
You’re so right. When I dropped my NPD friend, she first bullied me and threatened me. Then used triangulation to get other people to convince me I shouldn’t have ended the friendship. Then she pulled all the string she could to try to get me in a room with her so she could convince me I was wrong to end the friendship. But I went mute. I never gave her the chance, and I walked away for good.
It happened to me to, almost that exact scenario.
That was never a friend.
When I finally reached the point of no return in a friendship recently (6 months ago after a decade of knowing them and their family member) - 'I'm out, I'm done, that's it, no more' - I was told I had an 'anger issue' by both of them and needed 'help' so 'we can resolve it' (i.e. fix ME) so we can carry on as before. I was expecting me to be the 'problem' (predictive awareness 😉) and it did come in hard, I have to say. But, nooooo, I'm still not returning to them. I believe the friend's family member is the Covert and my friend is possibly a flying monkey (and not a narc themselves) but I'm not certain and, either way, it doesn't really matter because it's their negative/dynamics/behaviours that are the problem. Thankfully (weird thing to say, but am thankful for what I learned), I had been married to a grandiose narc in my past and had stepped away over a decade ago and, having read and learnt a lot about NPD & me, I was able to see what was happening this time, although this person is a covert/vulnerable plus flying monkeys (all so sneaky and subtle) and I put up the boundary and walked away. Am I sad for other people involved, and myself? Yes. But I'm now cramming knowledge on the Covert (soooo insidious!) and realising I've been gaslit, countered in my thoughts/views/feelings, have had a lot cognitive dissonance and am now following channels like these for my own health, boundaries and self-respect 💙 God bless all of you who are recovering and your families 🙏🏻
Sounds like Trish Foster of Erie,Pa
never never never go to couples therapy with them, or mediation, because they'll make you look like the abuser and triangulate you so the therapist or mediator thinks your a demon and treats you bad.
This is so true!!
Yep, you obviously know what’s up 👍
Bloomin' Arty
so true. It’s disaster for your sanity.
This is all too common. Most people don’t want to believe that anyone can be so Machiavellian so they ignore the signs and buy their holier than thou antics.
Jordan Hill narcissists are master time wasters, especially if it’s on your dime. Emotionally, they are toddlers. I had a Narcissist whose spouse was half their age and they fake cried and parentified they younger spouse. They’re con artists.
This method is for individuals that have emotional discipline, fast track to no contact. You ain’t got no time for the mind games!
Dammit girl I'm so emotional lately. :(
I'm still in shock that I get rid of one and let another in.
My twin sister came to stay and she was so nice at the beginning.
I could sense something not right like she was trying to idolise me to then take advantage of me.
I was always God twin to mind her and not myself.
I was in stages of trying yo keep boundaries she had kept trying to push my boundaries as far as not smoking in my appartment as I have lung disease but at 1st she wax ok.
I am not back in shock after 11days I told her to leave.
Now its the questions in me why do I keep trying to fix others and only when there happy I'd be happy.
I'm 37yrs old.
Iam after losing my 2 fiances Thomas 12yrs together he died at 32yrs old in my arms suddenly adult death syndrome.
This showed me I was so dependent on him that when he died I wanted to due.
Then 3yrs later I met my 2nd fiance of 6yrs lar he was controlling convent nark.
He used silent treatment to pu is me.
I would spend all my money trying to but his live also I was 50 50 person and he would act same until my money wa give he would leave me confusion hurt tormented .
Whe both of us lived in one bed apparentment I couldn't even answer door he was starting to not want anyone to look at me see ne or even speak.
Crazy.
I'm free now but I still need to do this im trying these things past2yrs now.
Thank you God bless.
I won't let anyone controll me.
@@butterflymustfly_1232 🤗🤗 Big hugs to u dear.
U are not alone.
Let it all out u will feel free after all the tears u'll be full of joy.
You are healing.
Every tear u cry is healing u just like the salt in the sea heals u.
Ur tears are been counted by God counted like sand on beach.💚💗💖😢
🙌🏾
There are many different professionals that provide great information to deal with the narcissistic relationship, since Ross is a psychologist, he will explain everything in detail, very different from a life coach or CZcamsr. I appreciate the explanations and learning about the science behind the behaviors. If people don't like it, they should just go watch other CZcamsrs.
It's crazy that he tells the story of my life. I started saying no and setting boundaries and lost 85% family and friends. Triangulation, smear campaigns, etc.
Same here. Smear campaigns for ten years. Haven't seen my kids for 12 years
@@crys5744 🫂 ❤
I could listen to you all day. I am in recovery. It is a process of unlayering, re-bricking with better bricks.
Thanks for sharing. Glad to know this is helpful.
I had all stages happen over and over. Sometimes all stages would happen in one night. I'm out of crazy town now thankfully!
I am so glad I came across your videos a few days back. Thank you for everything. I'm 33 and have been raised by my narcissistic grandmother since I was born. My life has been hell, but I'm planning on leaving very soon. 33 years of hell, but its time I finally break ties for good!
Good it'll be the best thing you ever do. I've been no contact with my narc father for 18years now best thing I ever did. And then getting therapy to deal with the cptsd which is awesome to take your life back. Good luck and be strong and take your life back.ive had 5 narcs in my life and I can say I'll never allow another one in my life.Do research and get to learn the red flags.
Laura Jukic
Bless your heart Laura. Make a plan. Cover youy bases. Look for support in your own community as well as online. Practice new patterns of behaving, new styles of thinking and entertaining yourself as good preperation for the big changes ahead for you. Focus on the good, but don't forget to cry a bit too. Love your emotions by exposing them and expressing them (safely). The ride will be easier if you jump out of your ruts one day at a time BEFORE YOU PACK YOUR BAGS AND WALK OUT!
Great love to you! 💘
Hi Laura, Just wishing you luck and support in your healing journey.... You NOT alone .Stay strong . Cheers, Wayne from Australia
Laura Jukic - Laura I was your exact age 33 years old, when I put an end to my narcissistic mothers physical abuse and mental abuse. She came to my apartment, grabbed me by my hair on the back of my head, my hair was very thick&long passed my back. She shook me from one side of the post of the bed to the other and I almost lost consciousness before I was able to get her off of me and call 911. She was in such a rage because she wanted the $4000 I had received for the sale of an RV that was mine, I could go on forever about everything but I won’t. It took an awesome law-enforcement officer to come back 30 days later and check on me and call my mother and tell her if she ever laid a hand on me again he would put her in jail. She has to this day never laid a hand on me again. I am 49 years old and married now. She still finds ways to get me to contact her, like through family members. My Auntie Mary, her Sister, is in Hospital, I visit when my mother’s not there. She got my young niece to call me through narcissistic behavior. I let my guard down and I called my mother because after all she’s my mother and somehow I thought it was a good thing to do but boy was I wrong because the first words out of her mouth as she pick up the phone and I say,” Hi mom it’s me, Shelley, “...Her response to me was,”WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME?...WHY DID YOU AND YOUR BROTHER DIVORCE ME? ...In That CREEPY degrading voice of hers. I just crumbled inside. I kept the conversation going for my auntie Mary’s sake. I have not called her back. I am grateful “YOU” have found him too!! TAKE EVERY BIT Of ADVICE, PLEASE!!..AND STAY CLEAR AWAY FROM THE WOMAN. PeaCe&ReSPeCt, ShelleBelle
Do not wait! Run asap! So you can heal and get into normal!
It’s funny how you know no contact is the best way to beat them and that is why the will not let u go
@Tina you are on the right path, my friend. No contact is the only way. One year has finally passed and legal matters are finalized. All my children and I have written him out of our lives. Thirty years we endured him. Only happiness from this point on!
@Tina CONGRARULATIONS
My Therapist said that C-PTSD after years of betrayal trauma and Gaslighting and manipulation, and Covert abuse, mimics BPD
Exactly what's Sam.Vaknin says. Somehow, I got stuck with Bipolar.
Maybe the duration wasn't long enough, but with two psychopathic fascist Brothers it didn't have to be.
NPD of all types never allow themselves to be alone, they create contingency side relationships all the time.
Oh mygoodness you are correct...
Yep
Jyoti sometimes a narcissist will get a dog
The Narc I just left was incapable of creating or building with me no matter how amazing it was. She was far more interested in bar hopping and riding the CC whole triangulating between her work friends, enabling family members, drinking partners, old flames, baby daddy, anyone who gave her attention at her public outings, her daughter, me, the dog…lol I used to feel sorry for her, but I’m beginning to see how this particular style of Narc always plays the victim when low on supply, but then when she secures me she becomes so full of herself in every area outside of our relationship and basically glows up. It’s amazing how they are capable of being human Chameleons. Covert/Productive narcs are the most insidious beings I’ve ever come across. The lies never end and they will never ever validate you. They live to sleep around with reckless abandon and do not care if they get disease and would likely enjoy passing it on to their primary source.
I believe our entire human culture is moving towards this radical escapism…just doing whatever feels exciting and getting all they can from anyone they can for as long as others will allow.
@@lil--mo2025
... It looks ...
... 🤔🤔🤔 you been dating
my ex wife. ... ...
...or ...am ... .I just having some flashbacks from my marriage.
🤯🥳🙃😀🙃
...
Anyway you described that dynamic spot on.
This channel has helped me to start my own CZcamschannel. Thank you Ross. These narcissists are horrible news. Stay safe go no contact asap
This is exactly what my ex narc did when I cut the cord, she agreed to start going to therapy. Luckily I didn't take the bait as I have read that this is what they would do. Looking forward to the seminar on Saturday. Thank you Ross!
Thank you for all your work. I do identify with being a self-love, deficient person. My childhood was horrible, and I've only attracted narcs all my life. My dad was a narc and my mom was a co-dependant or another SLD. I had no chance, but I'm healing and and your videos are helping me so much. Thank you sincerely.
This is so interesting that you said you are gonna lose about 70% of the people that you know especially if they know the narcissist or have a relationship with them. I notice when I moved on from a narcissistic friendship, My best friend who was also a friend of that NPD stop treating me warmly.
It has been my experience that Ross Rosenberg is correct about the 70% of the people around you and your "friend". This frees up a lot of space for you to selectively choose those that you do want in your life.
Wow yes this is what happens
better that you are rid of her too!
They were not your friends, but Her Enturague,... and here Admirers...
(!!!)
If you remember
stage of your life, very early years and ...all until 30+
you would look
With certain opened mouth and eyes opened wide , and adoration or admiration,
at soldiers Of some foreign Legion ... like some HEROES ... ... until
LATER ON, IN Life
you realise how many of them are criminals, killers, very types of sociopaths etc...
That type of look
her Admirers have on Narcissistic
Diva.
They are like hypnotised children,
Hypnotised by her
crazy Actions - like when you watch Indiana Jones movie...
Narcissist do crazy things instead of them,... and
they watch her shanenagans ,
and giving support...
And
get High feeling by association.
No morality questions
or any accountability.
Just : ! Go girl Go !
The woman you are becoming will cost you friends family you will loose material things I HOPE YOU CHOSE HER I AM LEAVING THE CREEPIEST ABUSIVE MAN HE IS WORSE THAN ALL THE WORST PEOPLE PUT TOGETHER ANY THING IS BETTER THAN 42 years with this dead soul Run never ever look back
This resonates with me totally! I've seen all the stages that have been described!!! Education is the key to disarm & distance yourself from these emotional vampires! I know I'm codependent & of course went into a career that propelled that, nursing...but people need a better understanding of narcissists & their abuse because unless you have been in these types of relationships you will never know!!!! I thought I was smarter after surviving one already, WRONG!!!! Just had 2 covert narcs in my life, a friend & a romance & was BLINDSIDED BY BOTH!!!! They are totally evil, cruel imposters!!!!!
I also thought I was smarter as I had been through it before.
the surgeon general warning could not be more accurate.
If the narcissist is bullying you then he or she has either already found a new supply whom he or she is grooming or has been discarded by that new supply when that new supply has met someone else and that narcissist still longs for that new supply because that new supply gave the narcissist a lot of positive attention and adoration before the discard.
Mine would come back to torture me make me mad 😡 I asked him why come around if we don't even have sex anymore we have a child that he don't even acknowledge or even have photos of her on his Facebook but still won't leave me alone 😔 I finally let go there's nothing left I give he takes he don't even touch me so why come around just let me go .... Go put down someone else
How could you know what the narcissist was thinking though you can imagine it ?
@@cindyperez1284 I am the one who has full knowledge of your feelings as I can suppose many here have. You are quoting my thoughts and words from years ago, exactly. You are now entrapped BUT you MAYBE ALSO BE FREEeeeee. Now move on. YOU CAN DO IT. MANY HAVE BEFORE YOU.
How can I make him leave me for new supply? He has every desperate girl that thinks she can use him for money as supply. But why won't he leave me alone he stalk mw
Lmaooo it do be like that.
...what you described as the warning (4-5 steps).. is exactly what happened meanwhile i was in therapy.. i had started isolating myself away from my family anyways after years of not getting why my Life was such a mess, me feeling totally worthless - unsuccessful - putting myself constantly as well in failing relationships where i would invest and fall on players or abusive men (or non committing / emotionally UNavailable).. the therapist started making me realize i had surrounded myself with friends who never truly cared about my goals, dreams etc (i mean with this; their support only always was given if i was ‘easy to live with’) - same for my brother who only reflected me my defaults, never a word of encouragement or positive acknowledgement regarding my life - ZERO. Only always negativity, put downs - which resembled jealousy.. i kid you not; AS SOON as i started finally standing up for myself and opening on past family secrets (potential child abuse) - ii got discarded and ostracized/Exiled by my own aunt and brother..
6 months in stage 4 and blasting into stage 5 100% loss of all family members. I have decided to go no contact. I listen to Ross and use his tools. Im scared but I see no other way out
Thanks so much for the support. If you need more resources, please visit Ross's website: www.selfloverecovery.com/
Stay strong !!!
My friend, I changed my phone number. I stopped talking to his family! Feels good because his family are all narcissist! They started hating me because of his lies. I finally end it for good!
20 years ago, wish i knew.....however bravo!!!! you have been so perfect in creating this stage. at least i can now understand what happened.
Bloomin' Arty
for me it is 31 years ago iwish i knew
Great Videos on Narcissists. I just left a job with a covert Narcissist. I handled it by getting a witness (Yes - used Triangulation but luckily this employee saw through him and revealed everything to me) and we documented everything and was able to present it to the Shareholders of the company. Luckily they took it very serious and immediately sent out an email regarding the awareness of a Toxic Environment. He had no idea we were doing this and we both left the company and he never had a chance to confront us. Police were even called once due to his temper, so we were actually scared. But the emotional toll was horrendous. I'll be able to get unemployment so very fortunate I get some time to take care of myself. A horrible horrible Bully.
During the final days of ending our marriage, my ex woke me up at night and looking very forlorn and sad asked for another chance. Me: The people pleaser, empath, don't set boundaries, type.....I took a long pause, offered up a quick prayer for strength, dug deep, and told him, "No it's over." I expected a big drama. Narc Ex reaction: "Okay then" and he turned and walked off. I felt like I was having an out of body experience at that point. That whole situation was a test and had I caved, it would have changed my whole life. As it turned out, my only other contact with him was a couple meet ups to get the divorce finalized (no children involved - made it easier)
Moral: No second chances!! No third chances either. Cut and run, cut off contact if possible. I could write a book - lots of these people have come in/out of my life. I bet many of you are the same.
Now, before Stage 1, it is ended. Trick: skip Stages 1 through 9 and move on. Once a person has gone through the mayhem, chaos, drama, gaslighting, lovebombing, word salad, pretzel logic, control, lying cheating, duplicity from a narc - it should be the LAST time or at least a great lesson. Think of the narc episode that you survived as a training course to NEVER get past "Hello" if there is the slightest notion of a Red Flag about any similarities with the narc who initiated the first training course (interaction, not relationship even if u were a romantic partner.)
Exactly. Prepare spiritually, prepare materially, get out. Too dangerous otherwise
My ex boyfriend told me he was bullied as a child and both his parents beat him. He specifically recalled his father beating him up badly because he didnt get an A on a test. He now tries to make everything around him perfect including his surroundings and the people in his life.
It's still NO EXCUSE to hurt people that are good to you in your adult life!!!
he is exploiting and emotionally manipulating the empathetic part of you
It's not an excuse for him to make everybody suffer like him in his childhood especially he was an intelligent person ..
He just an abusive , callous evil advocate ..
He is sadist narcissit .
Sometimes YOU have to loose to GAIN ❤
I’m in a 40 year marriage and want to be free for the last years of my life? Help
did you make any progress towards getting out?
💔
Me to
36 years for me.I dream of being on my own,away from the demeaning,the hurtful actions and words,the spitting in my face,the curse words,being locked out of my home,vehicle keys hidden,etc WHAT'S NEXT.Death couldn't come fast enough.
My Dad has been trapped like this for 50 years. I wonder how he carries on… so sad 😢
Can you please do a video on how to navigate through court cases; divorce - settlement - child custody ect - w a narcissist as a survivor? Ive been doing the inner healing but have to face this person in court and it's unnerving. Have you guided survivors through this process?
Prediction is the key, you have to out smart the narcissist,I’m on the right TRACK Amen 🙏
Ugh, lived thru the triangulation stuff. Ruthless.
I appreciate you beyond imaginable! Finally reached a point with my partner’s infidelity that I’m doing great by myself! She keeps coming back, but your information keeps me ahead.
Thanks for confirming that we win if we leave without fighting. Not too many people understands how difficult this is. Part of the problem is the people around judging, giving unsolicited "advice", putting obstacles instead of doing nothing or helping.
I wish you lots of luck. What a fantastic opportunity! I appreciate your work! Thank you for all your help.. it's big! Bless you Ross!!
By the way Ross, you look great and happy.. great job and double good for you! You're a good example.
On D-Day, a year and a half ago, I actually laughed when she tried the counselling suggestion- thank you for helping me.
Thank you Dr. Ross for this video I'm at the final stage and it gives me the strength and the mindset how to finalise and get rid of them in a save way, because they are unpredictable dangerous and life threatening,
Many thanks
you have helped me get out , I'm on 18 months out from.my mother , this all happened to me everything you have taught. My brother triangulation me ..
.prepared for storm, Oberserved , didn't absorb, through many tears.and no reaction , no wrestling with pigs.finally my brother came to me and said I want you in my life.and I laid down boundaries. for the 1st time in 18 months , my brother and I had a cookout together with our families. I'm still no contact with my mother and my brother and I have survived at this point.you and Richard Granton have made my life so much better.Thank you so much for your knowledge .
So happy to be on the road to recovery thanks to people like you - thank you, thank you, thank you
You are welcome. Keep up the good work Josephine
And these phases can overlap or happen concurrently or even a bit out of order...but yes, this is the process
Excellent presentation Ross.
I am very educated on Cluster B Disorders.
This video is worth watching again and again.
I triggered a BPD melt down where I saw my BPD go into a standing fetal position, a six year old voice came out of her pleading with her sexual abuser that she'd been a good girl and not to punish her. I was kind of wondering how much was real and how much was a ploy. I was replaced in six months.
Very predictable.
She was trying to theatrically work you. Good you are learning to no contact, as I am, too.
I wish I would have been educated on npd and sld years ago. My kids and I went through everything you are describing with my narcissistic alcoholic ex husband. I so wish I could come along with my kids to your training to help heal from all of his destructive abuse.
THANKYOU!! i had a great aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh, moment of understanding when you talked about stage 9. this signals my true freedom....they have someone else now.
The irony here is that it's my ex partners birth date and I'm watching this helping me to heal from being exposed to yet another person with a personality disorder .
It's not easy at all but you have to realise that the proposed changes to us is so imperative to the cure .
Being an SLD simply sucks because you give to please and your pig in the cage is out for your blood .
I want to survive and thrive , after all your hard work on the observe not obsorb you see things clearly and if your strong enough end the relationship it's a bit like you leave the cage not winning or losing, yours feelings are sometimes mixed elation deflation stomache butterflies , sadness emptiness loneliness while these people can compartmentalize you like you were nothing .
Hold on in there it's hard work but once you've got out you can cinsentrate on you and you only .
Wow..in a good way.
It's Independence day for me. 29 June 2019. My narcissistic other stomped my foot and broke my pinky toe. He claims I tripped over his feet. I'm so grateful that I was brave enough to actually go. I'm homeless now and I'm a disabled veteran who can't work. I'm not sure what will happen now.
A women's shelter? 🙏
Go to a womens shelter near you. If you dont know where one is go to a public library and ask the librarian or go to a police station & ask them.
Please look for a women's shelter.
🙏 for you.
@@carlakool3782
For domestic violence and they give you free clothes and food and safety
It’s like we have to face our greatest fear... but each time I get more freedom-really helpful stuff
Glad this is helpful Ann.
We can only offer healthy solutions to heal dysfunctional thinking. If the narc chooses to continue the destructive behavior there are no choices left.
I was still on the bridge he burned. All I worked for went up in smoke. There is nothing left to destroy. There was a fragile seed of love that was trying to take root. after the ashes blew away I could see the roots survived and could grow back again. They are barely getting light and keep getting walked all over.
I will not be able to shut off empathy.
"Dissociation" is memory loss due to trauma. "Dissassociation" means to no longer associate with another person..exceptional video.
I just found you yesterday. You have changed how I see many of my relationships. thank you!!
You are so welcome
Thank you for helping me. Your videos taught me how to love myself, put up boundaries, and become completely independent. I owe you my life! I could never repay you. You are priceless! God bless you! ♥️♥️♥️
Your knowledge is so excellent, to understand everything, so deep regarding attachment theory and recover from codependency, and getting free from trauma and healing own self love issues, thanks so much. from Copenhagen, Denmark
This is the most intense therapy Ive ever seen.
Thank you for sharing your videos...I always love the saying by Maya Angelou "When someone shows you, who they are believe them." This is so helpful and also a tiger never changes their stripes. I feel its only for certain peo especially wolf's in sheep clothing. If they have your best interests at heart and genuine people that embrace change for the better, rather than you give someone a few chances and no changes...u start to wonder wow..focus on being the change within yourself to see the change in others. And that's what has help me. Give thanks!
You are very welcome
Oh my goodness, thank God for this video. Years ago when I stood up to my narc mother and told her she had to stop insulting me, she flew across the room and was going to attack me physically. Fortunately, I ran out of the house. Now that I have set further boundaries, she went into covert aggressive mode! Triangulation. She asked me to come into her living room for a serious talk, where she told me that when she and my father pass away, there will be nothing for me to inherit. Nothing. They live in a million dollar home but there will be nothing. I accepted this as fact and didn't think much of it, because I am so used to getting nothing. However friends kept pointing out that this couldn't be true. Even if they spend down the value of their home, mother has diamonds and antiques worth thousands. I mentioned this to father in an email, that mother told me my inheritance will be zero. Father goes and talks to mother. Mother says sweetly that she never said that. Father tells me that there is money in a trust for me. I'm not happy to hear this, as mother so blatantly lied; certainly she knew about the trust fund. Father writes a scathing email saying how many years he has known my mother, and she would never lie. So, me, scapegoat, troublemaker, I'm the one who is making up stories. I see them only a few times a year, but recently she made eye contact and communicated almost like a normal person. For me this is the weirdest, most disconcerting experience ever!!! She can behave normally and communicate in a mutually respectful manner, she just won't do it with me. So, when I go total no contact, she might try to negotiate. I will beware. Thanks. Wow.
Connie Jarrett, sounds so familiar...
@@fifilafleur5555 It's a pseudonym. Conrad Jarrett was the son in the movie, "Ordinary People."
Im 62 today , i had 4 kids with 2 x narcs .LOST THEM ALL!.. but at 51 i met my beautiful wife n she was the 1 that told me to look up what a narc is? The last 10 yrs ive educated myself daily on these programs. I CANT DO IT NO MORE N PRETEND TO B THE GARBAGE DUMP!... LIFE IS THE BEST EVER NOW, NO DRAMA. ❤🙏😎💪✌️
Hola Ross, muchísimas gracias por tus vídeos y todo el material que ponés a nuestra disposición. Acabo de leer tu libro "El síndrome del imán humano". Excelente😊❤👍🏻👍🏻!!!!!!!!!! Te agradecería muchísimo por toda la información y vídeos que pudieras hacer en español. Nos ayudas muchísimo!!!! Gracias😊😊😊!!!!!!
they get you down, foot in your neck and proclaim while you are down,, i think i just love you too much,yup,no contact and distance is the only way
I trusted him!!! How am I ever going to trust anyone ever again? I'm always looking for signs of narcissism in people now. What to do...
I’m absolutely no expert! But I guess narcissism is a spectrum that everyone is on so if you search for it you’ll find it.
I think the problems come when you try to make sense of the the weird things going on.
If they’re not willing to understand your side of the argument (maybe not agreeing with you, but able to see where you’re coming from) I’d say it’s not worth the hassle.
@@becknamitth He actually called me from a different phone number last night and apologized to me! He has been in therapy and he said that he still loves me very, very much. I almost fell off my chair!!
Baby Blue what did you tell him?
@@becknamitth absolutely spot on
Me too
Thank you for a greatly informative and supportive video. Narcisists can never be alone which is why they are always having lots of relationships on a side and it feels like being betrayed all the time. Thank you Ross.
oh my goodness. You nailed it. I can't believe you just rattled those off like that. I'm sitting on list item 7 right now, waiting on 8... AGAIN. this has to be about round ten for us.
thank you -this is very helpful
stay blessed thankyou for all your encouragment
Narcissistic mom for me. Shes 86 now and I have been raised on healthy doses of guilt all my 44 yrs.
Me too 45 years.. of hell guilt.. i told my kids the baton ends with me.. i am not passing down narcissism.
I've got this damn feeling of obligation to take care of her because I'm literally all she has at this point. And I hate it. I hate her I hate my life. My kids hate her. My husband despises her. She won't freaking die. I know that's terrible but that's how I feel.
@@soulywomen Don't let ANYONE manipulate you to feel guilty, or any bad feeling. If others can, then they're in control of how you feel. I used to, but then started taking Bach remedy "Pine" and it really helped.
@Mary Carroll hey! Yes she is now, as of March. Actually she's in a nursing home now as she's beyond assisted living. She has dementia, and like you said, I've finally guilt free drawn boundaries for myself in how often I call to speak with her (cant see her with Covid) which is about every week or two. If I dont feel up to it, I dont call. I went back and forth with guilt putting her in the home, as I had her removed from her house by APS due to self neglect and safety. I felt terrible, but it was no way for her to live or for me to deal with it healthily and maintain my good marriage and preteen kids. I had to make the move
@Mary Carroll thank you!! Shes safe now, and I think so am I! I was so burnt out and depressed and stressed... its better for everyone and finally at age 45, sadly, I feel free! I wish we had a better relationship. I couldn't just dump her though, she's still a human (ish) lol
Happy holidays for this year! Great talk.
Dear Ross Rosenberg. I am very greatfull for the informacion you are sharing in your CZcams videos. I am listening to them around 1 year and it has been gevingerd me so much insight. unfortunately I mist your life event in Chicago. Please take good care of Ross and keep up your Fantastic work and contribution
Ross...absolutely brilliant. Thank you so much
You are very welcome
Hi Ross, you are Glowing! Great!!
Just broke up with him today ( again.) I'm feeling everything that you're talking about in this very moment and I'm pretty scared.
Fantastic video. I hope you do this training again!
Great work thankyou
Loved your speech.
You're brilliant Ross x
Thanks for your educational experience and resources and support. GOD-BLESS.
The live event'll be excellent! I'll be there in spirit
Spot On, Doc!
Liked very much. Amazing lecture.
Hi, Ross. With the support of your The Magnet Human Syndrome book and your codependency cure program, I feel reborn, after four long, winding years of systematic and regular practice. What a tough road, man, and I can tell you this: best thing I did for my life. I must confess I still attract some narcs along the way but they do not stick around any longer. On top of that, other types of styles have been interested in getting in contact too. I also found that some friends from the past, especially childhood's, have reacted differently and turned away, or simply keep hovering over you on social media making little to no contact. The hostile environments stuff is real, and close people, or even friends, sometimes do not get why you prefer staying alone quite often at that stage. But as soon as previous stages are pretty much well covered, you end up not taking their comments to heart. it is not so easy to spot narcs, many are pretty clever. But I do not need empirical data to make my first move (away), all I need are red flags. Just one more thing: secure attatched people are hard to find, we are unfortunately surrounded by emotional manipulators.
Cheers.
Hi Steve, thanks for the heads up. I still can't believe they're everywhere. Meanwhile my closest "family" is... For me I've been in no contact more then 5 years. Something went wrong... I've put my guard down and trusted the "wrong people" in the past years. So I've reached out for help after hermitting. Seemingly can't believe my own thoughts and experiences, minimizing a lot. It's true, it is impossible to heal alone... Feels like I made everything up, so perhaps I'm more looking for confirmation. Thanks for sharing your experience. Take care of you.
Yes, they’re out there.. but they’re not “everywhere”… just seem to be attracting them because of your own childhood.. “familiarity” that you feel with a narc is the familiarity of both of your messed up childhoods. There are such great ppl out there and they are everywhere! Just gotta do the healing work and love yourself enough to not settle for less.
wow never considered there was an method of responding understanding to the madness Thank You
Thank you Ross.....
I left a narcissistic partner after 5 years of failed attempts to get away. I was stalked for 4 years.
Very valuable. Thanks Ross.
Glad it was helpful.
This is an EXCELLENT video!! 🌟 I wish I would have seen this earlier so I could have attended your seminar!
Thanks for the comment! Ross's seminar was recorded and you can find it in his website at: www.selfloverecovery.com/collections/video-seminars-downloads/products/escaping-narcissistic-abuse-stages-4-and-5
@Ross Rosenberg thank you very much for the link! Appreciate you so much!
Bless you and thank you Ross 👌❤️
Thanks for listening. 🙏
Clear direction. I can benefit from his structured approach. Thank you, I am following this approach.
today's our independence day coincidentally . So, Thank you
My Narcissistic mother recently threatened not to give me any inheritance if I left her. Classic 😅
Mine wrote a letter to my Mother when I left. She never told me but I saw the envelope on her desk with her mail. I was terrified to read it. My God. How low will they go.
Merciful heavens this is exactly what I am up against. Thank you for sharing this with us. I cannot thank you enough for the knowledge you have. It sheds so much light into my situation.
Thank you Dr Ross. But I see them as psychopaths & sociopaths. Narcissism is excessive pride & a narcissistic person is not necessarily out to destroy others, we all have some narcissistic tendencies & don't do it to harm others. That's been my experience anyways. 🙂
THERE'S A FINE LINE between a proud person & a psychopath/narcissistic person. They have a major personality disorder & they're all alike.
Ugh.. enough with the “everyone has narc tendencies “ that’s an overused line.. learn the difference between narc “tendencies “ and actual pathological narcissism.. two entirely different entities
@skychanges9197 that's what I'm saying...there's a fine line. Theure a different species altogether. Actually, they're so stereotype, you can list their characteristics summed up in a paragraph. They're all alike.
What I meant was we can be egoistic & proud.
If they have some sort of influence power it’s not easy!
Thank you ever so much. Through listening to your videos It has helped me so much to put the puzzle of my life together... and heal to a great extend.Living in SouthAfrica impossible to go to your seminar
Thank you🙏💙🙏
"ODA Ninja" I like that.
2 months ago I left my husband of 13 years and THEN discovered he's a covert narc. WOW. Your phrase "human magnet syndrome" strikes home a little extra for me perhaps because our wedding song was Magnet & Steel by Walter Egan! Thank you for your important work here! :)
This has been a perfect reminder regarding what will happen to my friend once she would move out.I can see why past attempts to keep the end of that relationship failed.Despite her narcissist out of the blue going into a rage and having a drama end.Initially she'd weaken and make contact, later episodes he'd work on her. Going through the various steps, sometimes it took 3 while may make it up to 6 other times. I hadn't taken in that her traits and sense of loneliness could still be as big an issue 10 yrs down the track. So wasn't able to recognise the extent of support and information she'd need.
I'm thinking a lot about his 15 years "partnership" with his wife. She must feel so alone being with him. Just doesn't make sense to me. After 2 weeks of texting he got very abusive (he couldn't bare for me to decide when I was leaving the discussion or any decisions I was making) he got wounded many times poor kid. He was clearly and evidently dumb ! I would never have chose him to be a part of my debate team 😆. Got bored to the point of asking myself "what is his purpose in my life ? "
None.
I been through all these stages🔥🔥
I have been ignoring my ex. Because I realized that I can't keep in contact with him whatsoever. He kept trying to demand that I talk to him or text him.
Thanks for sharing Ladenna. In case you haven't watched it, this video may help: czcams.com/video/AgSLzdhLEC4/video.html
Thank you!
You're welcome!
Holy mackerel! He actually went through all of these stages to a T! Absolutely incredible. Even brought up a sexual assault from a neighbor boy when he was a kid. I told him I was truly sorry that happened to him but it didn't change anything. He intimated suicide in numerous emails, told me he had a mental breakdown(I doubt it's even true!) all the while burning up dating sites, travelling, generally living it up and making me out to be the 'mean' one. Yes, I'm mean apparently, they seem to like that word, like a little child, 'You're so mean', 'Why do you continue to be so mean?', 'You can't be mean in this life'. Lol. After twenty years of cheating, lying, manipulation, emotional abuse... me saying no and putting up boundaries is mean, it's mind boggling. Of course it's always from their victim-mentality perspective. What a great video, wish I was at that seminar! Come to Toronto! 💓
Thanks for sharing Crystal!
It sounds like fun! Good reason to visit Chicago. 🐡