0:05 Talking About The End Goal 4:53 Certain Key Skillsets That Need To Be Strengthened Part 1 8:54 Certain Key Skillsets That Need To Be Strengthened Part 2 11:28 Critical Thinking And Boundaries 15:28 Emotional Dysregulation Causes Psychosis 19:55 Emotional Flashback Management Skill 21:53 Goodbye
There. “Now you’re emotionally satisfied.” I, for one ☝️ enjoy 😉 you’re gentle humor you use when you’re being Therapist. I like your raw humor when you are free styliin. ❤️. So grateful for your tutelage. ❤️
Will you Marry me? Guffaw. 😂😉😍🤗🌕full moon tonight. Happy Lunar/Chinese New Year to the Grand Pubah (spelling!) of Self Help “One didn’t realize they even needed!” I ❤️ur🔥self.
RICHARD GANNION; I wish more counselors, therapist, psychologist would get on board with what your teaching. I have two adult son's and see many young adults struggling with all these internal and external conflicts of negative self talk. Pyschiatrist's treat them as if there's a magic pill and it all goes away without helping them to overcome traumatic events, and that's frustrating. The hard part is those challenged with CTPTSD, have to be willing to participate and many need the assistance to move forward to improve their own lives. I'm very impressed with your informative videos of self improvement of HEALING ONE'S SELF😊👍🤗I really need help to get my son's on board to work your methods. Please Help?
16:38 ish - not recognising your belief, content of your journal. Do the Journals by hand. Count the numbers of differing hand writing styles. Some things may follow specific types of dysregulation. Something I noticed sometime ago. I can go through differing hand writing styles in one session, sometimes using mostly one other than at the bottom of a page etc. A somatic method of interacting with the 'hidden self' use a bit of string with a weight on it, and let hang from your outstreched arm. If you haven't over done sensitive hands/touch training in MA, then it shouldn't overly feel like you are consciously affecting the direction of spin, or other movements which can represent no, yes, maybe etc.
100% agree with you! Understanding yourself is such a basic necessity and when we’ve lived for decades without having that, it’s soul destroying. Finding a good psychotherapist alerted me to the existence of CPTSD and now it’s like my whole world has opened up and it’s given me the most overwhelming relief. I hope you are well on your road to thriving now ☺️
Mainstream psychology shifted away from the trauma model at least 50 years ago. Parents are paying the system to absolve them of guilt and medicate their kids into submission
There is a definite line between accepting your emotions and giving yourself license to have emotions, the difference being something like styling your hair in a mirror and styling your hair in a tornado during a blackout. Without over sharing i would like to impress gratitude with enthusiasm for these videos. They are CONFIRMING what I am seeing as an evolution of healing within myself in real time. Thank you for the work you do.
Francie Odendahl That could be the case, but there are so many reasons why people would lie, I don’t think it is always to fit in. It could be because they are afraid of getting in trouble, be it real or perceived trouble. Also there is a potential of being labeled insane and forced out of a position and possibly into institutional situations. This healing though I think is focusing on the fact that there is an emotion and then somehow coming to terms with it within yourself and not so much in just expressing them and releasing them, it is about understanding that you have an emotional reaction and that you don’t have to let it get the best of you while still having the emotion.
I feel like finally, someone can relate to & understand what I haven't been able to describe about how I feel. Thank you for posting these videos. At 47, I'm so happy to truly start trying to heal the right way.
It affects so many people and i can see how this will help a lot with all the traumatised people walking around repeating the same self destructing behaviours everywhere. Sad that so many link PTSD only with ex military people. Thanks for articulating the steps so clearly!
Thank you. I have now drawn the three smiley diagram on paper and taped it to my wardrobe door to remind myself daily of my intention. My cat joined in too ☺️😽
Me too. People do something for me and I cry, not just when they do it but I can think about it years later and it will still make me cry. But the horror that was my childhood I brush off. I was beaten, oh well. What? I knew I had issues with abandonment and abuse but that caught me off guard. God bless us all and give us strength and courage and peace of mind in Jesus name Amen. You are not alone sister. It seems there are a lot of us.
If I had negative emotions, perceptions or feelings, I would always be told I was wrong and that I "shouldn't feel that way". Just as bad as not being allowed to have feelings. In fact, the same thing. Thank you again Richard.
And how impossible! You can't stop feeling what you feel. Fell what you feel and find human connection that validates you, your feelings, your identity and those who want what is best for you. Telling you to stop feeling is not helpful. For God's sake if we could stop the pain and suffering we sure as hell would! We need validative connection with those who get us. Huggles
So true about being able to handle most stressful situations that the average person can't, yet I completely fall apart over a scowl from a stranger or someone slamming a cabinet door. A phone call from my Mom would paralyze me in a state of fear and anxiety to the point of being physically ill for a week. If someone rings the door bell and they are not expected, I hide until they're gone. People don't get it and end up not trusting who I am.
I’m strong but I’m not tough. You are describing me totally. I look forward to the final step in healing properly. I’ve got so far and then got stuck. You’ve got it. Thank you sooooooooo much.
I have started learning to love myself a few years ago and an Author named Marr Kahn really helped me. His book is called Whatever Arises, Love That. I believe this is a beginning stage of reparenting onself which is a way to help grow your inner child. I love your content Richard and your videos are helping me so much so I thought I'd share this resource as a comparison.
When I had a sudden realization that “I am not special” I was able to start healing. I used to think I was especially bad, deserving of pain, but now I feel I am just a regular human, no more deserving of ANYTHING than any other human being. The I figured out “I am not broken in need of fixing, I am hurt and in need of healing”
Somehow I knew this intrinsically. I’ve been using sleep hypnosis here on CZcams for almost three years. My life is completely different. Thomas Hall and Michael Sealey are great
Thank you so much, Richard. I spent so many years drinking and having flashbacks of my childhood. I didn't understand why. My husband would say, "it's over, get over it", and I couldn't explain or even understand why I was doing that.
I did years of an er model that my therapist set up, every time I felt an emotion, I would go to this model and it had a thing to do to bring my mood back up. Years of doing this had made me automatically fall into flight mode and only now that I'm doing the emotional literacy work, I have realized that this has stunted me. Although my therapist thought they were helping, they actualy made my pain worse.
Ugh, god. Dammit. Emotional intimacy is a huge trigger for me in romantic relationships, I can feel myself splitting and it really keeps me from being authentic in those moments. I hate it :( I wall myself off and its painful. I end up getting cheated on a lot, maybe because I have this massive emotional barrier.
Me too. Looking back at the history of my dating/married life, I am hugely disconnected emotionally. I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to get better. I WANT to be better! I'll get there. It isn't comfy, but I know at the end, I'll be better. Better as a child, as a parent, better as a person.
I'm new to learning about all of this (co-dependency/cptsd), but feel it applies to me and my struggles, but I wanted to ask you, how do you know you are splitting or putting your wall up?
@@amyb7823 To me it feels like I start projecting a false self to the person I'm with, while my "real self" goes and hides in a closet in my mind. Its like I have a false personality that comes out - this false personality is way more agreeable than my true self, lacks boundaries, walks on eggshells, makes sure the other person is happy regardless of how I feel, laughs off uncomfortable questions, or fawns. So in relationships, the man falls in love with the false personality instead of my real self.
I am able to connect emotionally. BUT, when I am hurt I shut completely down and I immediately start planning a life without them in it. I don't want to be this. People deserve love and forgiveness and understanding. I have been faking that I don't feel it to the person to try not to hurt them. But in my head, you are no longer trustworthy and I won't let you in again. God help us in Jesus name Amen.
Yes. You are not alone. Yuck. When I think about all of the trauma that was dumped on me as a little girl it sickens me. I have a visceral reaction to it. God bless us all and give us peace of mind and comfort and strength in Jesus name Amen
yes. this stuff is repulsive. the worst medicine that we need to hear. if we can bear this one time, we can have lifelong peace. we are not slaves damnit! Dr Peter Levine and Dr Gabor Mate discuss how this happened etc. Richard teaches us how to fix it...I am grateful 🙏
Richard, I am very fulfilled now. Thank you :) I realised I used to be emotionally illiterate, and I'm not sure how I became more literate, but it sort of happened slowly over time. I called it being numb from intense emotions. Then I met my husband and I started feeling again, true emotions and we both learnt NVC together, so we both became more emotionally literate through the course of developing our relationship, before the symptoms I had got worse. I ahve so few symptoms now, but all this info truly helps a great deal. Thank you so much.
i love your videos because your tone and cadence holds and keeps attention. youre a very good speaker. besides also being very knowledgeable, i can tell you are coming from a good place in your heart , you make a very good teacher. Just want to show my appreciation. Thank you!
Thank you for this. I got a lot out of it. Especially when you were talking about journaling and you didn’t recognize that belief or you didn’t recognize that strategy... just gave me so much insight... I’m seeing some things I’ve never seen directly before about my behavior and it’s stunning! God Bless you and your family. Good work!
I did a counselling diploma and a bit of further training in transactional analysis, and I love how you’ve amalgamated the other modalities in these two videos. I’m looking at studying NLP this year too - very interesting! Thank you!
I was feeling nostalgic and searched for 'the cure album' and this came to the top of the search. Best wishes to Richard , his homies and lots of love for 2020!
This has been extremely helpful! I really appreciate your free work. I'm in therapy but still am forced to live with my narc abusive husband. I'm starting a job next week for the first time in years. I pray I can get out of this hole soon!
Emotional dysregulation is exactly where my parents left me to swim for years. It is very catastrophic yes. People don't believe you, hell my parents refused to acknowledge i knew stuff about this as an older kid, much gaslighting etc. I say my interpreter is broken mostly and it's terrifying. You are a hope Mr. Grannon. Ty
I have a problem finishing my upper talents; I'm slowly heading in this direction of completing interests; I dissociate; nothing new; just unbelievably hard. Right, I abandon myself in a million ways; I'm getting better as I take chances; I wasn't allowed any feelings about anything; even when being stripped of my life.
This particular video is very effective and all of the concepts are made crystal clear. Watching it has helped me understand each of them better and dissipated all confusion.
Today is my birthday and im feeling quite sad and disregulated (also made worse by a migraine after junk food last night), and i have been seeking some rays of hope and safety as I'm struggling so much with cptsd and how it has affected what seems like every aspect of my life. This video was in the sidebar and i decided to give it a check. I am so relieved. I was just trying to do some light qi gong stretches and motions to try to regulate and feel safe and also help my migraine. Then i found this video and you happened to mention your past in martial arts. It makes so much sense. I was lucky to have a connection to martial arts as a child and i have always been very intensely proprioceptive (too much probably in some ways not enough in others hence trauma and disregulation). But the many lessons of the arts can be applied to healing and embodiment in some ways. I really love the clear way you express ideas of reparenting and the inner child. I have had amazing success with meditation techniques involving these. I never anticipated that such positive and clear prognosis and tools were available, and imagined my life as an odyssey to reach what you describe as attainable maybe only on my deathbed. I couldn't have asked for a better gift on this day.
I was taught that way then I'm not allowed to have feelings I'm not allowed to have opinions and put tossed aside like nobody cares and put down like I'm a nobody in it nothing and I'm not important
Well, hopefully by now you know or at least sense that that was all bullsh*t. And the person or people who told you that are uneducated, ignorant and just plain wrong. Now that you know that they were wrong and ignorant don't allow those echos of bullsh*t back into your head. They're debilitating and will stop you from growing and being happy. As soon as you start to hear the echoes from the past, say "no" to yourself and distract yourself and go do something you enjoy. You can un-teach yourself to believe it. The were WRONG!
Thank you for the effort to explain this! For me it's time to stop focussing on my ex narc and focus on my co-dependency. Glad i found you on you tube!
Thank you Richard so very helpful and the best understanding of Dissociative Identity Disorder and its roots I have seen. Thank you. My current therapist is teaching me to better self-parent and I find that a beautiful process.
Can you advise the difference between the emotional literacy course and superego course, recovering from covert narc abuse and have cptsd, still in trauma bond...where to begin?
I had a sense of dread.. And then as I thought about me as a little girl I had a moment of sheer terror and then it got stuffed down and I couldn't feel anything for a while. It scared me to feel myself shut down. What did those people do to me? God bless us all and protect us and give us strength and courage and peace of mind in Jesus name Amen
Ok I did the course. Finished about a month ago. It felt very validating at first, but then very boring. I thought it did not really do anything but just wanted to finish it. I think I did not even put my normal 150% effort, more like 60% (as instructed, not to "kill" myself over it). But now, after about a month from it, I do notice some differences... and since Richard stressed out that if this happens I should not brush it off but give him the credit, here it goes :D The end effect is that I have started to think more like what I saw most people around me think like, which is also what I used to actually hate. I saw it as animalistic and selfish. Yet I did start to care about my own interest and stopped dwelling about many things that do not directly impact me. I think that sentence "there is no objective authority to tell you otherwise" really sank into my subconsciousness. Sometimes I get parts of the audios replied in my head spontaneously, during the course of the day. I feel a bit like a prisoner who escaped and changed their looks, and yet has to make sure from time to time that no one is recognizing him. The new mindset definitely removes huge amount of weight from my shoulders, but in the back of my mind I still have a silent voice saying "are you sure you are not becoming a bad person?". On the other hand, nothing that I am now doing differently would be called "bad" by anyone I know. What strikes me the most is that all this change was only a matter of decision. I thought I had some deficiencies, was not strong enough, not this or that enough, but it was only about mind shift. Like in that elephant story. Really interesting :)
Honestly.... bless you! I hope this actually helps b/c it isn’t ok or acceptable to me that there is NO HOPE for people with narcissistic CPTSDR . These people aren’t going away! They are in our families and in positions of power, they are lawmakers and teachers and mothers etc. Walking away and ignoring the problem is only a temporary solution b/c walk away from one and there will still be a handful of others that affect ALL of our lives. We are a symbiotic ecosystem. Ignoring the problem will not make it go away so it’s just unsustainable to not find ways to heal this issue. One person with this issue will easily create others that have it as well. They’re acting like an autoimmune disorder on the collective. THANK YOU for sharing this. Truly. I hope so much that it helps!
I remember random 'waking up' episodes during childhood where I'd suddenly come 'back into consciousness' ... Example: I was 'suddenly' standing in a classroom entrance and I couldn't remember how I'd gotten there. My very early childhood was marked with many of these episodes when I would 'wake up' to find myself in some kind of time-out for something which I couldn't remember doing, with the adults seeming very perplexed. I wish I knew what had happened during these blackouts.
Thank you So much. I need to implement these strategies in my life. it's funny I took up Muay Thai, also wanting to take up Psychology and experiencing CPTSD. It all ties up together fiercely.
"My Need" vs "Your Need" YES! I have trauma with sharing food. Every time I leave my room to go eat lunch, my Parent will come out of their room and hear me walking down the stairs and start talking to me, and I will warm up my food, and they will say "Mmm...that looks good" and get closer to my plate. And then I will start to have PTSD flashbacks and start flinching, and start wanting to cry...they will come closer with their fork and start eating the food I made for myself. and I am 27 years old. Once my parent asked "Can I have some of that? That looks good" when I was all ready to eat my plate that I made for myself and I said "NO!" and looked them right in the eye. And they walked away so sad and made me feel so guilty. I cannot face that guilt again so I will avoid eating and then binge eat when everyone is asleep to avoid that parent trying to eat all my food that I put my time and energy into making.
To make matters even worse, my parent never buys food for the house, so there is never enough food. I am in huge debt from doing a career they suggested I take on, so now I have no job and I am just living at the mercy of my parent. So we have very little food because they refuse to buy enough food for our household, and yet when I DO find something to eat, THEY will eat it all on me. I have major eating disoderds because of this and again, I am in my late twenties living at home. I cannot move out because of my debt that I have incurred by listening to my parent and trying to please my parent getting this corrupt career that was a scam.
I validate and hear your bad experiences, if I were there I would not let them take your food, in the same way you would likely defend another person from this violation. Be mindful though that your energy/focus is limited, and make sure to leave enough time to focusing on yourself/solutions rather then your family/problems.
@@ErizonMacani I am not doing what tf you or anyone else tell me to. I do what I want and not what a MAN tells me to do. This post was also 4 years ago.
Very well explained - & very helpful*. Yes, this is how the process of healing happens & what needs to be seen/understood - & ''done''. Once again, many thanks Rich. Greetings :)
9:39: State management: Not taking good physical care --using narcotics, eating poorly, sleeping bad, drinking too much, not exercising, bad posture (slouching or sitting all day long), superficial breathing, and being generally in bad physical condition make people way more vulnerable to inner-critics and emotional flashbacks. Those make them feel bad about themselves and the world, they do negative things because they focus on negative things (downward spiral) so they produce a lot more chaos and shit for themselves and the world but when it comes back they say: "See, the world is a shitty place and I am a shitty person" and it becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Why do we do it? We can take the decision to change our ways of living. Commit and recommit until it works.
Wish I had a therapist here that I could talk to must needed.... thank you! Just found you on U tube and really taking in the words your saying.... thank you!
God bless you and protect you and give you strength and courage and peace of mind in Jesus name Amen. You are not alone, you are loved, and we can all grow. Don't give up, God loves you and so do I.
Clover, you are loved, you are needed. This world needs you. I need you. We are all connected and have a purpose in this life. You are here to be amazing and for purpose. Be strong, you are beautiful, you are loved. ♥️
Richard, I really like these series and will definitely take the course. My comment is about State Management as a very important first step before skills can be absorbed. Triggered into my first official diagnosis may 2017 , my autonomic nervous system through the roof , I didnt understand what was happening to me at first. After a year of trying to get grounded in therapy, the one complimentary healing work that got me back in my body, and nervous system regulated was in combination with Energy Healers or Light Workers . Once calmed I could receive the therapy. In addition with a partner or family in the equator, that constitutes ' the safe place ' to heal from, often is a huge set back when those at home are still clueless about what you need to heal. Should there not be a partner or family awareness brief ? Because my healing has been set back several times by ignorant and reckless actions at home, and I am not in a situation financially to leave
Damn...I feel like Richard got it more than anyone I have seen. I had to start with softer touch videos before I could tolerate Richard's delivery but Richard's video is what I need right now. I am strong enough to see myself as emotionally stunted. that feels horrible when you have a narc bad parent recording.
I think it's great that you recognize strengths and weaknesses and work with those. It's brilliant in its simplistic way. Society as a whole could do this more and turn out better people.
I can relate to the example you gave about feeling a person not liking me. I think back to a particular instance in high school when I told a friend that I thought the certain guy didn't like me because of how I perceived the way that he looked at me and she went and told him how I felt and it turned out I was wrong and then he thought I was sweet.
This makes so much sense why I would have crushes on older men again and again and again. I was always looking for a good parent to replace the bad parent inside my head...to give me approval so I could be in balance with my inner child. Each of my crushes starting at age 18 were older men, then I met my boyfriend at age 22 while we both met through liking the same band member (who was an older man) but then the abuse living at home still continued while I dated my boyfriend and I started to have crushes on another older man at age 24, and then at age 25 the most recent crush, who I have in the back of my mind cheering me on throughout any obstacle to help me keep on going. All of these men represent my inner "bad parent" who I crave their attention and approval/validation to lead me to that paradise of peace
"Critical" is a loaded word with two meanings and I always go to the first one. Critical Parent means the vicious way my parents would attack me, criticizing me with every chance they got in the meanest way they could. Critical thinking is a wonderful tool to be able to see things correctly instead of jumping to wrong conclusions or following something which isn't true. I have always viewed critical thinking with terror because of the word critical. My epiphany is that I have stayed away from critical thinking because of my fear that I will be criticized, and not in the good definition of the term. To be criticized, to me, is a life ending threat. For me to criticize another usually invites them to attack me in what they consider self-defense. For me the use of the word critical is a lose lose situation. My "critical" solution has been to assume that every situation is an attempt to con me in some way and to immediately decline to participate in whatever is happening. Maybe I can change that now that I am becoming more aware of it. Maybe in your 3rd video.
I would replace the term critical thinking with cognitive reasoning . When you apply cognitive reasoning you remove emotion and think objectively. I have found when things do not make sense then a manipulator is somewhere in the mix.
Thank you so so so much for publicizing that we feel like we aren't allowed to feel "hungry, angry, sleepy etc." When that is learned from age 0-6, that's how we really feel! and we believe it!!!! and people wonder why we're a little off. Hell I had a doc tell me I was faking
Just watched Ralph Breaks the Internet. Vanellope glitches (emotional flashbacks). Ralph is codependent and the narcissistic virus scans for insecurities. Only thing missing was The Spartan Life Coach to help everyone heal. Social media issues all throughout movie. I see everything through your videos now. Thanks for helping us.
I seriously have no idea if I am a narcissist or not. I've been watching your videos and I seem to be both the narcissist and the empath. and I think i have cptsd...
Kacee Cloud I fully understand. I have found that to survive, I had to adopt some pesky traits. When in Rome, kind of thing. Recognizing these traits, tendencies and behaviors, was and is, the first step in rectifying or rebuilding myself. I wish you great success in creating a new you can love like never before ❤️❤️❤️
If you have empathy then you are not a Narcissist. You could possibly have some Narcissistic traits just from being around highly Narcissistic people. There is great hope and healing for you!!!💜🌈💚
0:05 Talking About The End Goal
4:53 Certain Key Skillsets That Need To Be Strengthened Part 1
8:54 Certain Key Skillsets That Need To Be Strengthened Part 2
11:28 Critical Thinking And Boundaries
15:28 Emotional Dysregulation Causes Psychosis
19:55 Emotional Flashback Management Skill
21:53 Goodbye
Thank you.
There. “Now you’re emotionally satisfied.”
I, for one ☝️ enjoy 😉 you’re gentle humor you use when you’re being Therapist.
I like your raw humor when you are free styliin. ❤️. So grateful for your tutelage. ❤️
Will you Marry me? Guffaw. 😂😉😍🤗🌕full moon tonight. Happy Lunar/Chinese New Year to the Grand Pubah (spelling!) of Self Help “One didn’t realize they even needed!” I ❤️ur🔥self.
RICHARD GANNION; I wish more counselors, therapist, psychologist would get on board with what your teaching. I have two adult son's and see many young adults struggling with all these internal and external conflicts of negative self talk. Pyschiatrist's treat them as if there's a magic pill and it all goes away without helping them to overcome traumatic events, and that's frustrating. The hard part is those challenged with CTPTSD, have to be willing to participate and many need the assistance to move forward to improve their own lives. I'm very impressed with your informative videos of self improvement of HEALING ONE'S SELF😊👍🤗I really need help to get my son's on board to work your methods. Please Help?
16:38 ish - not recognising your belief, content of your journal. Do the Journals by hand. Count the numbers of differing hand writing styles. Some things may follow specific types of dysregulation. Something I noticed sometime ago. I can go through differing hand writing styles in one session, sometimes using mostly one other than at the bottom of a page etc.
A somatic method of interacting with the 'hidden self' use a bit of string with a weight on it, and let hang from your outstreched arm. If you haven't over done sensitive hands/touch training in MA, then it shouldn't overly feel like you are consciously affecting the direction of spin, or other movements which can represent no, yes, maybe etc.
Even just hearing the parts broken down I already feel better finally being understood and not thinking I'm eternally broken and unfixable
It's crazy realizing how much trauma I have had. I hope God blesses you in Jesus name Amen
100% agree with you! Understanding yourself is such a basic necessity and when we’ve lived for decades without having that, it’s soul destroying. Finding a good psychotherapist alerted me to the existence of CPTSD and now it’s like my whole world has opened up and it’s given me the most overwhelming relief. I hope you are well on your road to thriving now ☺️
@@elmondo-s1e absolutely agree! Feeling the same way!
1 year update - still healing, the road is long but I trust the process everyday I'm doing the work
I wish I'd seen this thirty years ago!
No shit.
Mainstream psychology shifted away from the trauma model at least 50 years ago. Parents are paying the system to absolve them of guilt and medicate their kids into submission
@@rain3743 this is harsh
Better late than never.
Me too! I wish someone would introduce me to these type of personality disorders and gave a name for it.
There is a definite line between accepting your emotions and giving yourself license to have emotions, the difference being something like styling your hair in a mirror and styling your hair in a tornado during a blackout. Without over sharing i would like to impress gratitude with enthusiasm for these videos. They are CONFIRMING what I am seeing as an evolution of healing within myself in real time. Thank you for the work you do.
Francie Odendahl
That could be the case, but there are so many reasons why people would lie, I don’t think it is always to fit in. It could be because they are afraid of getting in trouble, be it real or perceived trouble. Also there is a potential of being labeled insane and forced out of a position and possibly into institutional situations. This healing though I think is focusing on the fact that there is an emotion and then somehow coming to terms with it within yourself and not so much in just expressing them and releasing them, it is about understanding that you have an emotional reaction and that you don’t have to let it get the best of you while still having the emotion.
I relate to this comment today.
God bless you in Jesus name Amen
I feel like finally, someone can relate to & understand what I haven't been able to describe about how I feel. Thank you for posting these videos. At 47, I'm so happy to truly start trying to heal the right way.
I'm 46,and ditto 😊 We can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. God bless you in Jesus name Amen.
1. Come back from work
2. Hold in the panic
3. Watch your video
4. Relax
It affects so many people and i can see how this will help a lot with all the traumatised people walking around repeating the same self destructing behaviours everywhere. Sad that so many link PTSD only with ex military people. Thanks for articulating the steps so clearly!
Thank you. I have now drawn the three smiley diagram on paper and taped it to my wardrobe door to remind myself daily of my intention. My cat joined in too ☺️😽
Lol. Thanks for the giggle 🤭
Great idea. I'm going to do the same. God bless us all in Jesus name Amen 💚
I was wondering why I don't cry when I'm sad, only for great acts of kindness. Nothin's wrong but somethin' aint right. I need this.
Rachel Reed I flippin feel you. ❤️. WTH ❤️🔥🔥🔥❤️
Me too. People do something for me and I cry, not just when they do it but I can think about it years later and it will still make me cry. But the horror that was my childhood I brush off. I was beaten, oh well. What? I knew I had issues with abandonment and abuse but that caught me off guard. God bless us all and give us strength and courage and peace of mind in Jesus name Amen. You are not alone sister. It seems there are a lot of us.
Emotional flashback management = dealing with the pain-body when it wakes up.
Cheers for the help.these are gold.Thanks
i ve got the same problems whit the dots . Lol
Thankyou Richard for the first time I feel there is hope and understanding. Bless you your an amazing man with strength of character 🙏🌸💜
If I had negative emotions, perceptions or feelings, I would always be told I was wrong and that I "shouldn't feel that way". Just as bad as not being allowed to have feelings. In fact, the same thing. Thank you again Richard.
And how impossible! You can't stop feeling what you feel. Fell what you feel and find human connection that validates you, your feelings, your identity and those who want what is best for you. Telling you to stop feeling is not helpful. For God's sake if we could stop the pain and suffering we sure as hell would! We need validative connection with those who get us. Huggles
So true about being able to handle most stressful situations that the average person can't, yet I completely fall apart over a scowl from a stranger or someone slamming a cabinet door. A phone call from my Mom would paralyze me in a state of fear and anxiety to the point of being physically ill for a week. If someone rings the door bell and they are not expected, I hide until they're gone. People don't get it and end up not trusting who I am.
I’m strong but I’m not tough. You are describing me totally. I look forward to the final step in healing properly. I’ve got so far and then got stuck. You’ve got it. Thank you sooooooooo much.
I have started learning to love myself a few years ago and an Author named Marr Kahn really helped me. His book is called Whatever Arises, Love That. I believe this is a beginning stage of reparenting onself which is a way to help grow your inner child. I love your content Richard and your videos are helping me so much so I thought I'd share this resource as a comparison.
When I had a sudden realization that “I am not special” I was able to start healing. I used to think I was especially bad, deserving of pain, but now I feel I am just a regular human, no more deserving of ANYTHING than any other human being. The I figured out “I am not broken in need of fixing, I am hurt and in need of healing”
Somehow I knew this intrinsically. I’ve been using sleep hypnosis here on CZcams for almost three years. My life is completely different. Thomas Hall and Michael Sealey are great
Amanda M. Love love love Michael Sealey
Michael Sealy I know about. I’ll check out Thomas Hall. Thank you!
I've been listening to Michael Sealey as well its brilliant will have a look at the other one thanks! X
Looooove Michael Sealey
Michael Sealy the best... guided meditations changed my life
Thank you so much, Richard. I spent so many years drinking and having flashbacks of my childhood. I didn't understand why. My husband would say, "it's over, get over it", and I couldn't explain or even understand why I was doing that.
I did years of an er model that my therapist set up, every time I felt an emotion, I would go to this model and it had a thing to do to bring my mood back up. Years of doing this had made me automatically fall into flight mode and only now that I'm doing the emotional literacy work, I have realized that this has stunted me. Although my therapist thought they were helping, they actualy made my pain worse.
Ugh, god. Dammit. Emotional intimacy is a huge trigger for me in romantic relationships, I can feel myself splitting and it really keeps me from being authentic in those moments. I hate it :( I wall myself off and its painful. I end up getting cheated on a lot, maybe because I have this massive emotional barrier.
Me too. Looking back at the history of my dating/married life, I am hugely disconnected emotionally. I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to get better. I WANT to be better!
I'll get there. It isn't comfy, but I know at the end, I'll be better. Better as a child, as a parent, better as a person.
Same here, looking to integrate and heal myself too. Sending you love 💕
I'm new to learning about all of this (co-dependency/cptsd), but feel it applies to me and my struggles, but I wanted to ask you, how do you know you are splitting or putting your wall up?
@@amyb7823 To me it feels like I start projecting a false self to the person I'm with, while my "real self" goes and hides in a closet in my mind. Its like I have a false personality that comes out - this false personality is way more agreeable than my true self, lacks boundaries, walks on eggshells, makes sure the other person is happy regardless of how I feel, laughs off uncomfortable questions, or fawns. So in relationships, the man falls in love with the false personality instead of my real self.
I am able to connect emotionally. BUT, when I am hurt I shut completely down and I immediately start planning a life without them in it. I don't want to be this. People deserve love and forgiveness and understanding. I have been faking that I don't feel it to the person to try not to hurt them. But in my head, you are no longer trustworthy and I won't let you in again. God help us in Jesus name Amen.
All I can say is thank you - and your delivery keeps me interested and smiling and laughing - thank you !!!
I wanted to puke when you said my intimacy is connected to my monster.
True
Yes. You are not alone. Yuck. When I think about all of the trauma that was dumped on me as a little girl it sickens me. I have a visceral reaction to it. God bless us all and give us peace of mind and comfort and strength in Jesus name Amen
yes. this stuff is repulsive. the worst medicine that we need to hear. if we can bear this one time, we can have lifelong peace. we are not slaves damnit! Dr Peter Levine and Dr Gabor Mate discuss how this happened etc. Richard teaches us how to fix it...I am grateful 🙏
Richard, I am very fulfilled now. Thank you :)
I realised I used to be emotionally illiterate, and I'm not sure how I became more literate, but it sort of happened slowly over time. I called it being numb from intense emotions. Then I met my husband and I started feeling again, true emotions and we both learnt NVC together, so we both became more emotionally literate through the course of developing our relationship, before the symptoms I had got worse. I ahve so few symptoms now, but all this info truly helps a great deal. Thank you so much.
i love your videos because your tone and cadence holds and keeps attention. youre a very good speaker. besides also being very knowledgeable, i can tell you are coming from a good place in your heart , you make a very good teacher. Just want to show my appreciation. Thank you!
I wish I could have learned this before I had my own children who now need therapy because of me.
Thank you for this. I got a lot out of it. Especially when you were talking about journaling and you didn’t recognize that belief or you didn’t recognize that strategy... just gave me so much insight... I’m seeing some things I’ve never seen directly before about my behavior and it’s stunning! God Bless you and your family. Good work!
Video two is my favorite. Thanks so much Richard for making this video.
I did a counselling diploma and a bit of further training in transactional analysis, and I love how you’ve amalgamated the other modalities in these two videos. I’m looking at studying NLP this year too - very interesting! Thank you!
I was feeling nostalgic and searched for 'the cure album' and this came to the top of the search. Best wishes to Richard , his homies and lots of love for 2020!
4 years ago. Damn fresh. This is you at your best.
This has been extremely helpful! I really appreciate your free work. I'm in therapy but still am forced to live with my narc abusive husband. I'm starting a job next week for the first time in years. I pray I can get out of this hole soon!
Emotional dysregulation is exactly where my parents left me to swim for years. It is very catastrophic yes. People don't believe you, hell my parents refused to acknowledge i knew stuff about this as an older kid, much gaslighting etc. I say my interpreter is broken mostly and it's terrifying. You are a hope Mr. Grannon. Ty
I have a problem finishing my upper talents; I'm slowly heading in this direction of completing interests; I dissociate; nothing new; just unbelievably hard. Right, I abandon myself in a million ways; I'm getting better as I take chances; I wasn't allowed any feelings about anything; even when being stripped of my life.
I need Maxi time!!! Yet another great video. Thank you for your work. Keep going Richard. Much appreciated.
This particular video is very effective and all of the concepts are made crystal clear. Watching it has helped me understand each of them better and dissipated all confusion.
Richard, I'm so glad to see you have really changed! You are pleasant to watch now & learn from! :-)
Today is my birthday and im feeling quite sad and disregulated (also made worse by a migraine after junk food last night), and i have been seeking some rays of hope and safety as I'm struggling so much with cptsd and how it has affected what seems like every aspect of my life. This video was in the sidebar and i decided to give it a check. I am so relieved. I was just trying to do some light qi gong stretches and motions to try to regulate and feel safe and also help my migraine. Then i found this video and you happened to mention your past in martial arts. It makes so much sense. I was lucky to have a connection to martial arts as a child and i have always been very intensely proprioceptive (too much probably in some ways not enough in others hence trauma and disregulation). But the many lessons of the arts can be applied to healing and embodiment in some ways. I really love the clear way you express ideas of reparenting and the inner child. I have had amazing success with meditation techniques involving these. I never anticipated that such positive and clear prognosis and tools were available, and imagined my life as an odyssey to reach what you describe as attainable maybe only on my deathbed. I couldn't have asked for a better gift on this day.
I was taught that way then I'm not allowed to have feelings I'm not allowed to have opinions and put tossed aside like nobody cares and put down like I'm a nobody in it nothing and I'm not important
Well, hopefully by now you know or at least sense that that was all bullsh*t. And the person or people who told you that are uneducated, ignorant and just plain wrong. Now that you know that they were wrong and ignorant don't allow those echos of bullsh*t back into your head. They're debilitating and will stop you from growing and being happy. As soon as you start to hear the echoes from the past, say "no" to yourself and distract yourself and go do something you enjoy. You can un-teach yourself to believe it. The were WRONG!
jay wellington ...or if you hear a new aquaintnce sounding this way. Disengage..exit stage left!
Misha Anton brilliant!
Thank you for the effort to explain this! For me it's time to stop focussing on my ex narc and focus on my co-dependency. Glad i found you on you tube!
Thank you Richard so very helpful and the best understanding of Dissociative Identity Disorder and its roots I have seen. Thank you. My current therapist is teaching me to better self-parent and I find that a beautiful process.
the "Heal the Super Ego" course is out now spartanlifecoach.com/heal-super-ego/
Can you advise the difference between the emotional literacy course and superego course, recovering from covert narc abuse and have cptsd, still in trauma bond...where to begin?
Ok, so a couple of "aha" moments and a couple of panic attacks.....🤦♀️
I had a sense of dread.. And then as I thought about me as a little girl I had a moment of sheer terror and then it got stuffed down and I couldn't feel anything for a while. It scared me to feel myself shut down. What did those people do to me? God bless us all and protect us and give us strength and courage and peace of mind in Jesus name Amen
Thanks for the simplicity, absolutely brilliant!
Ok I did the course. Finished about a month ago. It felt very validating at first, but then very boring. I thought it did not really do anything but just wanted to finish it. I think I did not even put my normal 150% effort, more like 60% (as instructed, not to "kill" myself over it). But now, after about a month from it, I do notice some differences... and since Richard stressed out that if this happens I should not brush it off but give him the credit, here it goes :D
The end effect is that I have started to think more like what I saw most people around me think like, which is also what I used to actually hate. I saw it as animalistic and selfish. Yet I did start to care about my own interest and stopped dwelling about many things that do not directly impact me. I think that sentence "there is no objective authority to tell you otherwise" really sank into my subconsciousness. Sometimes I get parts of the audios replied in my head spontaneously, during the course of the day. I feel a bit like a prisoner who escaped and changed their looks, and yet has to make sure from time to time that no one is recognizing him. The new mindset definitely removes huge amount of weight from my shoulders, but in the back of my mind I still have a silent voice saying "are you sure you are not becoming a bad person?". On the other hand, nothing that I am now doing differently would be called "bad" by anyone I know.
What strikes me the most is that all this change was only a matter of decision. I thought I had some deficiencies, was not strong enough, not this or that enough, but it was only about mind shift. Like in that elephant story. Really interesting :)
Honestly.... bless you! I hope this actually helps b/c it isn’t ok or acceptable to me that there is NO HOPE for people with narcissistic CPTSDR . These people aren’t going away! They are in our families and in positions of power, they are lawmakers and teachers and mothers etc. Walking away and ignoring the problem is only a temporary solution b/c walk away from one and there will still be a handful of others that affect ALL of our lives. We are a symbiotic ecosystem. Ignoring the problem will not make it go away so it’s just unsustainable to not find ways to heal this issue. One person with this issue will easily create others that have it as well. They’re acting like an autoimmune disorder on the collective. THANK YOU for sharing this. Truly. I hope so much that it helps!
I remember random 'waking up' episodes during childhood where I'd suddenly come 'back into consciousness' ... Example: I was 'suddenly' standing in a classroom entrance and I couldn't remember how I'd gotten there. My very early childhood was marked with many of these episodes when I would 'wake up' to find myself in some kind of time-out for something which I couldn't remember doing, with the adults seeming very perplexed. I wish I knew what had happened during these blackouts.
Sky Watcher me too!
I absolutely love this and can relate to this so much. I thought i was going mad until was asked to watch this!
Thank you! I have enjoyed your videos very much!
Thank you So much. I need to implement these strategies in my life. it's funny I took up Muay Thai, also wanting to take up Psychology and experiencing CPTSD. It all ties up together fiercely.
I love this man. Saving my life right now
BRILLENT! I'm writing my second book on PTSD but focusing on complex/ Co-morbid you're delivery is great. Thank You.
I had hella emotional flashbacks watching this....even tried to take a little nap but i couldnt. Thanks again for this
"My Need" vs "Your Need" YES! I have trauma with sharing food. Every time I leave my room to go eat lunch, my Parent will come out of their room and hear me walking down the stairs and start talking to me, and I will warm up my food, and they will say "Mmm...that looks good" and get closer to my plate. And then I will start to have PTSD flashbacks and start flinching, and start wanting to cry...they will come closer with their fork and start eating the food I made for myself. and I am 27 years old. Once my parent asked "Can I have some of that? That looks good" when I was all ready to eat my plate that I made for myself and I said "NO!" and looked them right in the eye. And they walked away so sad and made me feel so guilty. I cannot face that guilt again so I will avoid eating and then binge eat when everyone is asleep to avoid that parent trying to eat all my food that I put my time and energy into making.
To make matters even worse, my parent never buys food for the house, so there is never enough food. I am in huge debt from doing a career they suggested I take on, so now I have no job and I am just living at the mercy of my parent. So we have very little food because they refuse to buy enough food for our household, and yet when I DO find something to eat, THEY will eat it all on me. I have major eating disoderds because of this and again, I am in my late twenties living at home. I cannot move out because of my debt that I have incurred by listening to my parent and trying to please my parent getting this corrupt career that was a scam.
I validate and hear your bad experiences, if I were there I would not let them take your food, in the same way you would likely defend another person from this violation. Be mindful though that your energy/focus is limited, and make sure to leave enough time to focusing on yourself/solutions rather then your family/problems.
@@ErizonMacani I am not doing what tf you or anyone else tell me to. I do what I want and not what a MAN tells me to do. This post was also 4 years ago.
Profundity abounds... this clarifies so much. Thank you.
This video came to me as a blessing thank you x
Thank you I’m so glad I found your videos .
You're the best Richy, thank you for the video. Been following you for years, you've helped me a lot, lad ; ). TY- - A Lady from N.C in the U.S.
06:15 I get this... It is so reassuring to hear you say this. I'm not a freak...
You're so bless, thank you for your videos 💖💖💖
Brother, I have this sense of calm coming over me. Just being aware of this is helping already....
Very well explained - & very helpful*. Yes, this is how the process of healing happens & what needs to be seen/understood - & ''done''. Once again, many thanks Rich. Greetings :)
Brilliant diagram....creates a map fir the invisible terrain...so helpful!
Thank you! Looking forward to looking into the course!
Vid 1 & 2 are brilliant. Thx. On to the third.
The accuracy. Phew! Thanks for this.
I don't usually have much to say under these videos, so I'll just say thank you so much.
Feel very grateful for your course!
9:39: State management: Not taking good physical care --using narcotics, eating poorly, sleeping bad, drinking too much, not exercising, bad posture (slouching or sitting all day long), superficial breathing, and being generally in bad physical condition make people way more vulnerable to inner-critics and emotional flashbacks. Those make them feel bad about themselves and the world, they do negative things because they focus on negative things (downward spiral) so they produce a lot more chaos and shit for themselves and the world but when it comes back they say: "See, the world is a shitty place and I am a shitty person" and it becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Why do we do it? We can take the decision to change our ways of living. Commit and recommit until it works.
Exactly!!! DID-like! 💛 thank you so much for what you do
Thanks Richard! Great work!
I feel like this teaching makes order in my head.
This is so Valuable thankyou Richard
Thank you! It is enormously helpful.
Wish I had a therapist here that I could talk to must needed.... thank you! Just found you on U tube and really taking in the words your saying.... thank you!
Where can I buy this course. I attempted suicide last week and I type this in a hospital ward
Clover. Did you find the course? Find Richard on Instagram
Sending you all the hope I have to give❤️. Don’t give up!!!!❤️. U r loved ❤️
God bless you and protect you and give you strength and courage and peace of mind in Jesus name Amen. You are not alone, you are loved, and we can all grow. Don't give up, God loves you and so do I.
Clover, you are loved, you are needed. This world needs you. I need you. We are all connected and have a purpose in this life. You are here to be amazing and for purpose. Be strong, you are beautiful, you are loved. ♥️
Clover, did you find the course? I would love to know about it also
Grateful I'm hearing and learning this now.
Richard, I really like these series and will definitely take the course. My comment is about State Management as a very important first step before skills can be absorbed. Triggered into my first official diagnosis may 2017 , my autonomic nervous system through the roof , I didnt understand what was happening to me at first. After a year of trying to get grounded in therapy, the one complimentary healing work that got me back in my body, and nervous system regulated was in combination with Energy Healers or Light Workers . Once calmed I could receive the therapy. In addition with a partner or family in the equator, that constitutes ' the safe place ' to heal from, often is a huge set back when those at home are still clueless about what you need to heal. Should there not be a partner or family awareness brief ? Because my healing has been set back several times by ignorant and reckless actions at home, and I am not in a situation financially to leave
Thank you for your videos. I'm still in a relationship with my narc. N I am just learning that I have CPTSD. Again thank you.
Absolutely brilliant. Thank you.
Damn...I feel like Richard got it more than anyone I have seen. I had to start with softer touch videos before I could tolerate Richard's delivery but Richard's video is what I need right now. I am strong enough to see myself as emotionally stunted. that feels horrible when you have a narc bad parent recording.
Nice overview, thank you as always!
Greetings from Sophia :)
Yes! EMDR can assist in the creation of the positive adult/parent....life saver
yes, there is a lack of resiliance in CERTAIN areas-so true.
Dr Bradshaw talked about the inner child, he had good teachings as well!
I think it's great that you recognize strengths and weaknesses and work with those. It's brilliant in its simplistic way. Society as a whole could do this more and turn out better people.
I can relate to the example you gave about feeling a person not liking me. I think back to a particular instance in high school when I told a friend that I thought the certain guy didn't like me because of how I perceived the way that he looked at me and she went and told him how I felt and it turned out I was wrong and then he thought I was sweet.
This makes so much sense why I would have crushes on older men again and again and again. I was always looking for a good parent to replace the bad parent inside my head...to give me approval so I could be in balance with my inner child. Each of my crushes starting at age 18 were older men, then I met my boyfriend at age 22 while we both met through liking the same band member (who was an older man) but then the abuse living at home still continued while I dated my boyfriend and I started to have crushes on another older man at age 24, and then at age 25 the most recent crush, who I have in the back of my mind cheering me on throughout any obstacle to help me keep on going. All of these men represent my inner "bad parent" who I crave their attention and approval/validation to lead me to that paradise of peace
Awesome course. I highly recommend it.
"Critical" is a loaded word with two meanings and I always go to the first one. Critical Parent means the vicious way my parents would attack me, criticizing me with every chance they got in the meanest way they could.
Critical thinking is a wonderful tool to be able to see things correctly instead of jumping to wrong conclusions or following something which isn't true.
I have always viewed critical thinking with terror because of the word critical. My epiphany is that I have stayed away from critical thinking because of my fear that I will be criticized, and not in the good definition of the term. To be criticized, to me, is a life ending threat. For me to criticize another usually invites them to attack me in what they consider self-defense. For me the use of the word critical is a lose lose situation.
My "critical" solution has been to assume that every situation is an attempt to con me in some way and to immediately decline to participate in whatever is happening.
Maybe I can change that now that I am becoming more aware of it. Maybe in your 3rd video.
I would replace the term critical thinking with cognitive reasoning . When you apply cognitive reasoning you remove emotion and think objectively. I have found when things do not make sense then a manipulator is somewhere in the mix.
Thank you so so so much for publicizing that we feel like we aren't allowed to feel "hungry, angry, sleepy etc." When that is learned from age 0-6, that's how we really feel! and we believe it!!!! and people wonder why we're a little off. Hell I had a doc tell me I was faking
State Management!!! Been talking about states- cptsd keeps you stuck in a web - so to know the over all state helps helps! Fight the Power Richard!!❤️
Just watched Ralph Breaks the Internet. Vanellope glitches (emotional flashbacks). Ralph is codependent and the narcissistic virus scans for insecurities. Only thing missing was The Spartan Life Coach to help everyone heal. Social media issues all throughout movie. I see everything through your videos now. Thanks for helping us.
This totally helped me. Thank you.
Many thanks, my friend 🙏
❤️omg ... ‘distorted thinking being like psychosis!’ so when I felt like I am actually going crazy; I kind of was 😌 that helped me so much
I like what You are doing.
💜
Thank you Richard 🦋
I seriously have no idea if I am a narcissist or not. I've been watching your videos and I seem to be both the narcissist and the empath. and I think i have cptsd...
i totally feel you
A narc never questions if they are a narc or not so that should be sign number one that you are not one
Kacee Cloud I fully understand. I have found that to survive, I had to adopt some pesky traits. When in Rome, kind of thing. Recognizing these traits, tendencies and behaviors, was and is, the first step in rectifying or rebuilding myself. I wish you great success in creating a new you can love like never before ❤️❤️❤️
If you have empathy then you are not a Narcissist. You could possibly have some Narcissistic traits just from being around highly Narcissistic people. There is great hope and healing for you!!!💜🌈💚
God bless you!