0:05 A Little Reminder Of What’s Been Said In The Previous Sections Part 1 3:09 A Little Reminder Of What’s Been Said In The Previous Sections Part 2 8:16 How Do We Convert The “Bad Parent”? 11:50 You Actually Have To Have The Will To Fight 15:41 The Unconscious Side Of The Work 18:40 How Do We Lay Down New Neural Pathways? 21:44 A Brief Explanation Of What The New Messages And The New Ideas Are 25:52 Flooding Yourself With Loving Messages Part 1 28:28 Flooding Yourself With Loving Messages Part 2 29:33 The Beginning Of The Next Section 30:51 The Good Feelings 35:42 How To Thicken The Effect 40:08 The Good Phrases That You’d Love To Hear Every Day 43:37 Your Emotions Count 48:52 Talking About The Second Audio Hypnosis 54:00 Wrapping up
'do it in the voice of the most damaging parent' ... .. sort of have the home field advantage after a fashion for positive self talk? Bad news you're badly split, malformed, enmeshed and need to reparent, good news, the enmeshment has literally given you your fathers/mothers voice to do it with.
everything ive watched in the past 3 videos makes me feel so understood and i want to continue learning. im really grateful for you sharing all this information it just might save my life!
When i get rich.. im giving u all my money. We should pay for a vacation for him. Bring him to the caribbean.. ill take care of him.. richard is like the best uncle ever.. the uncle we all need.
@@RICHARDGRANNON Coooollllll! Well next time you need to come to st.lucia and i will bring you arround...look us up when you have time..its amazing... may be one day you might feel its a idea to come. Thanks for all what you do. ❤❤🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿💪🏿
“The best uncle ever...the uncle we all need” 😂🙌🏼🏆 Keiwa, You’re hilarious & I agree. Looking forward to a celebratory vacation someday! “Slàinte mhath” 🍻😉
When Narcissists mirror us during the honeymoon period - They're playing the role of an unconditionally loving parent. Is the joy from the "bond" we share with Narcissist - What our base line feeling should feel like? Is that how people who had good parents feel most of the time? This would explain why we cling to Narcissists long after they've shown us who they truly are. By then our inner child has taken over and simply can't accept the truth that the "parent" (Narcissist) doesn't truly love us after all. This would also explain slipping into being pathologically Naive (Cognitive Dissonance?). Or at least that's my theory :) Perhaps this is why so many people crave love from a significant other. So they can finally feel good enough.
I had 2 years of therapy with a good therapist. I didnt understand why it felt like it had been undone. It seems like narcissistic abuse specifically triggers back and inflames old trama. Perhaps if I was with a more normal partner then my previous therapy would have held up. I am glad to have found this channel. I am grateful for all the work and effort you have put in to help yourself and others. The last thing CPTSD people need is another “guru know it all type”.Thanks for keeping it real and being humble.
I liked your comment on how we cannot go back to being a child. We can’t change our childhood but we can change the way we think so we can be better adults... it struck a chord because I’ve noticed in myself some of the same behaviors as a parent that damaged me as a child from my own parents. I can’t change my childhood, but MY child still has time. I can be a better parent so that she doesn’t go through what I went through. Thank you for your videos. I could watch you all day.
I've been listening to a lot of Jordan Peterson lately. When you said that you are getting spiritual and philosophical I thought of him. Rule number two of his 12 rules for life is Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.
Just listened to your podcast. Both medium and message very clear. To say the topic is dark is an understatement when you then go on to describe how they deconstruct you into what they want. Totalitarianism is also an understandment when you think of what it does to a young child growing up under these conditions, let alone an adult, in a household that could be described as this. One is held in war like conditions with no safe parent(ing). Judith Herman described this. - It appears that people are under a 'spell' as such that they are so enchanted by narcissists as an adult. Most people with childhood trauma of varying degrees would think they had found a little bit of heaven in a person, some reprieve from the harshness at times of an often indifferent world. Perhaps one could go further and say most people in DV situations come from such a background. Not all of course, but most. And this is why, I believe, adults who have experienced this from childhood have such a hard time to reconstruct the self. Reconstruct from what?! There was a tv program recently aired, "The Cult of the Family," about a woman who was at the very highest end narcissistic/psychopathic who managed to convince a large no. of professionals into her lair, who basically stole children and 'raised' them. Worth watching. What was notable to me was the aftermath for these children. One became a doctor, travelled to India and Thailand to help others. I am always amazed by such people. However, when I researched how she was faring, she wasn't. Her life spiralled in a downwards trajectory, even though she seemed to have the clearest picture of what had happened to her. I like to believe that if that was aired today there would be outrage and those who actively committed crimes as well as the bystanders would be suitably punished. Your clarity of thought and all the thinking that you have arrived at is becoming so well honed. You say things that so few do. That we have not made it up, it was that bad and we are not alone is also the message. Humour is definitely a necessary tool. But not one of self abasement, of course. Also agree with the fact we often become infantile rather than adult when we're uncomfortable or not feeling safe. I have acknowledged this to myself reluctantly for some time. Whilst this topic is becoming ever increasingly available in social media, etc I do have a big problem with mainstream not getting it or trying to. They simply can't go there. It's too... weird, confronting and just freak out rather than trying to understand with a few questions. With you left with the feeling that they're thinking, "So that's why they're .... weird/emotional/skittish..." and just leave it at that. - Fill in the judgemental word(s) used. And finally, yes to get past the hyper-vigilant part of the brain to the prefrontal is the goal. I've made inroads myself with this. But it's slow. People even on the lower end of the narcissism scale can elicit a high alert trigger reaction from me. The biggest and most crucial part of healing, with the other necessary journey that goes with it to reach a point of safety, it seems to me, is giving back the SHAME to those who gave it. It may not be just your parents, as it can be intergenerational, so there's a lot to divvy out! It's the shame that is the most toxic byproduct of this. And mainstream doesn't seem to care whether you keep it or not. So, it is up to each and every one of us to take responsibility for NOT owning it or passing it on to future generations; to give it back: to say thanks, but no thanks! Understanding all that healing encompasses is no small task. You are helping Richard to make these inroads. And I'm very sorry that I have not been able to intersperse this with humour!
So very beautifully put. I feel the same, we in the society are just ignoring the trauma of so many of us, instead of actually making sure that we break the cycle of abuse. It's people like Richard that hold this avalanche back, but we all should try to do it, if we can, in any way we can.
Sounds like the 'good parent' hypnosis' helps to flood the system with oxytocin, giving rise to those positive feelings such as feeling supported, etc. Aside from being the 'bonding hormone', oxytocin also allows new neural circuits to be laid down while depleting old ones and this helps the individual to better go out and explore the world and create social bonds as a supported human being with a healthy sense of self-esteem. If we did not get that attunement in infancy/childhood our brains were not bathed in oxytocin and this can make us prone to all those inhibiting feelings and behaviours that prevent our fully engaging life.
If my mom were still here, she'd say... "Robin, I know you can do it, I've seen you do a complete 180 when you make up your mind." The bad thing that happened when I was 11 drowned out all the good voices in my life Nobody knew what PTSD was when I was 12, and I went A-WALL on my parents after the abuse happened. I lost my my mom to cancer 12 years ago and I miss her so much. Lately, when I feel stuck and I can't move forward, I remember what she said, and then I can just take one more step ...when I make up my mind to do so. I am in the process of leaving my bad situation one tiny step at a time. Thank you Richard for helping us and giving us directions on the road back to ourselves.
Thank you for the videos. Your courses sound amazing. I spent three years with a therapist who gave me the exercise to write in a journal the messages from my inner critic. I did that and we came up with a counter statement for each negative thought process. Also I did a lot of inner child work through drawings. I would suggest that this might be helpful for your clients to keep a drawing journal as well. They don't have to be taught art by you, then can draw at any level to simply express through imagery. I am an artist and art teacher and I believe that expressing through imagery is very therapeutic. My therapy changed my life and I am so grateful for the therapist who helped me. I have listened to a number of your videos and I want to thank you for your wonderful insight and vision of health. I know you are helping a lot of people.
This is pretty much "concious parenting"... something i had to do when i had my kids and i asked myself "what do i want for my kids as emotional tools to cope with life as adults?" Coz our kids will grow up into adults and 'grow away' from us... that is their destiny and we can't stop it. So the questions we must ask are: a) what kind of adults do i want them to be? b) how can i help them achieve this? c) what do i have to do for myself in order to be capable of acheiving b) & then a) And often while we're doing this, we discover things in ourselves which can also be helped by the things we're learning in order to help our kids. So eventually our "concious parenting" of our kids becomes "concious parenting" of ourselves as well... 2 birds with 1 stone! How could you lose!?
I use anyone from whom I've felt a sense of love and care, including teachers, friends, fictional characters, and even characters that I make up.. my favorite is my dragon, Clyde. I can feel his heat/warmth, he can char my enemies, take me on a flight.. I'll also bring in a whole bunch of characters.. anyone I can think of. For example, when I've woken from a nightmare, and especially if I fear that going to sleep is going to put me back in that scene, I'll bring my cast of characters into the scene, and let anyone I can think of pop in there with me. I've had Gandalf, my grade 7 teacher, Shrek, the Oracle from The Matrix, and more. The dread of the scene gets overwhelmed with a sense of warmth and love, and eventually playfulness and whimsy. My mind is busy thinking of anyone that I might admire/by loved by/etc., and the icing on the cake is that I get to hangout with Clyde at the afterparty to the scene :)
This is so super helpful! Really really life changing advice. I can't wait to get the whole course. I keep realizing a lot of the "bad parent" in me is from older siblings, along with my parents. I wonder if that's pretty common with younger siblings with cptsd
Absolutely superb work again Richie. Thank you for being so kind as to share this - it is incredibly helpful. You are an amazing soul, deserving of love and appreciation. I hope you feel that from all of us.
Thanks Richard for a practical, comprehensive & clear method of healing CPTSD - I've just listened to first 3 videos & already I'm finding it helpful :)
I was overwhelmed with good emotion between the videos (watched the previos one 4x first) then opened the 2nd one. Tears ran down my face and I wanted to tell you I love you. Not fighting it. I love you. Richard, Wow. This is REAL. This is Healing. Thank you.
I ordered mine today. I thought I would have to fix this damn CPTSD with psilocybin but maybe the videos will get rid of this crap once and for all. its a lot of damn work to second guess everything.
I'm an INFJ and an empath, and hearing words never had as much impact on me as observing others feelings. Telling myself words of affirmation has always been basically useless. When I repatterned my child, I didn't use positive loving words in the visualized scenario I did. I visualized myself (the large parent) looking at the small child and not saying anything, but feeling positive feelings and the child could sense those being expressed, then I imagined myself as the small child sensing and absorbing those loving feelings. So, I think a person's cognitive preferences may be important to consider when setting up the repatterning scenario.
I waited year after year for the individual who I believed was my husband (aka: Narcissist) to appear in person at my front door! After the first 3 years had passed- I stopped waiting for him to show up. Now, alone and single- I realized that "I had been PLAYED by the Narcissist." I suffered tremendously during this time- both physically and emotionally. I started losing a lot of my hair and I started gaining a lot of weight. The pain was overbearing, at times. Since, 2015 it has been 8 long years of "Uncertainty", "Loneliness", "Anguish", "Anxiety", "Depression", "Bewilderment", and "Heartache." I did not know what "Narcissism" was until most recently- when I started my research online about "Narcissism." ( This is how I found your CZcams content.) Thank- You.. for that! What advice could you give me Richard on what would be the fastest way to get rid of feelings of betrayal done by the Narc?
Thank you so much for these 3 videos. They come at the right moment for me, I have an impulse to tackle my inner demons lately, so I might as well "surf that wave" if you get the metaphor, and it's really great to find the right tools on my path at this very moment. What you are doing produces a lot of good, at least in me, and I bet in tons of people of the world too. Thank you. Thank you so much. :-)
You have found out how to inspire self-love over the internet. This takes a an amazing amount of psychological understanding, feeling to word translation skill, and sheer effort. You're amazing.
Sam, thank you for tying Christ into this. It's been incredible for me to understand CPTSD finally. I score at least 6 or 7 on the ACE survey which measures PTSD I'm an Orthodox Christian trying to learn to Love God and neighbor. If you have any more thoughts about how Richard's training is compatible with Christianity I'd love to hear it! Thanks again
@@Andrew-yw6kt I hear EMDR is also effective. I've tried neurofeedback briefly, and I think it could be a tremendous accompaniment to what Richard is doing, as would EMDR. You can look those up on CZcams. I also have trauma between the 5 and 10 range, probably 7ish😔
Hi. I love listening to your videos, very interesting mindsets, I enjoy having headphones and working at the same time. You describe everything I actually want to hear, you've been through a lot and it makes me believe you know what you're talking about. I have spent a large part of my life with psychologists, talk therapy, group therapy and for the most part it became blah blah blah and it made me lose the desire to tell such a difficult situation I survived but with deep wounds, it was like you said that I thought I could solve my problems all by myself but I developed a bubble around myself and my life became like a vicious circle. I am convinced that my deep wounds will take a long time to heal but I try to take one day at a time. Your videos are exactly what I need right now so I want to thank you so very much. You are a good man and I hope you continue to do what you are doing now I feel that you really want to achieve a strong purpose by helping those who are vulnerable and those who are broken and those who seek healing. Thank you so much my friend.🌹🌹🌹❤️❤️
I’m a one to maybe , on good day, even a half. However, with very upsetting situations I am easily triggered, and go into an emotional meltdown, especially without loving support. Thankyou Richard for this post. Very helpful. Xxx
Thank you Was just pointed to your support yesterday. This is helpful, I relate to your forceful empathetic style and clarity. Fortunately I also have strong spiritual guide . I’m coming up to age 50 this year and just before lockdown managed to escape an 8 year abusive toxic relationship that started with me having life saving open heart surgery to remove a huge tumour in my left atrium ( which I feel was an accumulation of the CPSTD as you name it : toxic parents not present and boarding school from 10 yrs of age) Now challenging detoxing happening and Thankfully a lot of Grace to help me Wake Up and get To the Truth of all things existence. So -Gratitude for your part.
Richard I love your energy!! Very inspiring and I can feel your passion for this! This is exactly what I needed. I can tell this is going to be super effective 😊
after a breaking point and i was severely depressed i had a period where i did an exercise of executing a relentless positive inner voice inner monologue. wasnt really me relieving myself per say i assigned the voice as an inner parent or a caregiver or comforter who was not ME because being cptsd/anxious preoccupied the deep yearning for someone else to actually care about me is too strong and being a blacksheep in a family with the golden child(1 kids, the good one and the bad one) in a narc dictatorship household the extreme unfairness of someone else being cared about and me not being cared about and why can other people be cared about and not me etc rage but ANYWAYS i just had a relentless comforter voice playing in my head calling me sweet names and being kind to me for like a month and i basically came out of my depression. still have my issues and im actively working through them so that i can actually have fulfilling relationships and fix the core wound but it was a very effective exercise for me. maybe for spot crisis management
Thank you so much. You're a wealth of very specific information that many of us can benefit from. CPTSD is clearly one of my main struggles and your videos are helpful and insightful! It feels good to be able to relate, to not feel so alone. I'm glad this is something that can be overcome and that we can individually reprogram ourselves. The "recording" is ridiculously defeating and needs to be overwritten...like yesterday, like 20 years ago. So many thanks! :)
I thank you so much for your work. You have taken me through the process of understanding the narcissist and how they capitalize on my trauma. Now I am following your work and learning how to replace the toxic thoughts my mother lodged in my brain with positive and loving beliefs about myself and the world. With new awareness and tools I hope to rebuild the core of myself and become strong and brave and hopeful.
Seems like lots of people, including myself, is a bit confused about how to get the audio; looking forward to some clarity. Thanks again Richard, this course has already brought lots of light.
@@RICHARDGRANNON I bought the course but cant seem to find the tracks anywhere? Only audios 1 to 4 and was looking forward to doing them. Has the course been changed?
Thanks Richard. I really appreciate your presentations. I've made a great shift over the past few weeks: I moved my locus of control from external to internal. Transactional Analysis is marvelous. Thanks again.
I'm part way through this and I'm laughing to myself as I can hear a fight going on inside my head....the part of me that says I'm to blame for all the ills in this world is getting beaten up!!! Probably for the first time in my life... amazing :)
Thank you for the incredible practical application of dealing with cptsd. As I become my own mom and dad to me, the ones I needed, I believe this will help me let go of the mom I did have and release her from my life’s unconsciousness and consciousness.
Just purchased one of your ebooks on Amazon! I’m excited to start healing from childhood trauma and my last relationship of nine years with a narcissist. I’m ready to do the work.
Thank you so much for this. It helped me a lot. I have felt so helpless for so long and this Really encouraged me to ask for help cause whatever I’m doing isn’t working for me.
Over the years, I've found "good parents" role models, good human beings, men and women I've seen positive and admirable personality traits and incorporate those things into my life and who I am. Thanks for adding to my life and reminding me that all this works for me.
Using the word 'inner parent' is still very much suited to so many cases im sure. What aggravates me, are those who have been given psychological lables and still dont get the pattern that their abusive parents and the repeated traumas, had EVERYTHING to do with their emotional imbalances. Some get enormously attached to these lables 'bipolar' 'autistic' because its an ownership of something in their seemingly powerless world. Thanks for creating these. How can I become a life coach when im grown up?
About the part being out to destroy you and not having anything positive: I think that it used to have a good reason to exist, so you could stop yourself from doing things with negative self talk before you did something that your parent would treat you way worse for. As an adult it no longer serves a purpose but it did at one point and acknowledging that and maybe even being thankful that it worked so well that you survived might help in the process of letting it go.
It terrifies me way too much to imagine a mother standing behind me. I have no older positive females to relate to. No-one knew the abuse was happening, so teachers, other parents, (and even psychiatrists later on!) unknowingly colluded with my mother and thought there was something wrong with me. So instead, I imagined a giant cat behind me (I have great experiences with loving cats) transmitting unconditional warmth and positive regard to me as child. My anxiety went down. It is possible to adapt this exercise if you genuinely can't feel comfortable trusting an adult behind you yet.
Richard, this makes more sense to me than just about anything I've seen thus far. I am looking forward to signing up soon. Thank you for your excellent work and congrats on the inner work. 💗. BTW, I am reminded of some exercises outlined in The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. Also, in a workshop I attended using her techniques we constructed inner champions to defeat our inner critics. BAM, BOOM, POW!!
Whenever I need to idealize - Think of three friends’ parents you admire. Choose one trait from each you love most. Now put them together as one person, your ideal mom/dad.
I was just casually watching your videos for distraction while doing boring work, but I surprised myself the day after by catching myself in an emotional flashback and recovering from it. Well... that's something! I think I'm going to take a closer look. Thanks, man.
Thanks for doing this. I will try this on my own. If I were to put myself on that scale I would be probably 1 or 2. Even though I'm doing ok I feel like certain psychological issues caused in the past are still holding me back.
Richard i felt synchronicity with the universe when i found you and im not fawning you its for real you’re the most important person i never met in my life
Greetings Richard! Was floored by the point of view of the God of the Old Testament vs the God of the New Testament. Up until I was in college I talked to God the Father (my Dad) all the time. The Old Testament didn't make a lot of sense to me because of the history timeline. However, once I became a parent and I read the "Law" I realized that those laws are LOVING! Boundaries for us! The 2 greatest laws are 1. to love God with all your heart, and 2. to love others as you love yourself. So glad you are teaching the wounded to love themselves! :)
Good stuff! Kind of plays on the stuff I learned in the 90s by people like John Bradshaw. By the way, I've watched so many of your videos back-to-back I actually dreamed I met Sam Vaknin and told him to tell you "hi". LOL
"We need to conquer the recordings of the bad parent" I loved how you phrased that, it makes me feel like the hero of a story having to slay a dragon 🗡️🐉 This is absolute gold, thank you for putting it out there sir!
You are trying to patch the holes in the bucket and fill it with positive stuff that won't leak out. Thank you. Had an emotional response to something you said and forwarded it to my councilor so we can talk about it. Appreciate having words to explain what I think. You are the first person who seems to have found a similar path in a similar fashion to me.
I appreciate your videos. When speaking of the bad mom or bad dad, that's only a small part of it in some cases. There is a whole family.....in my case four brothers (two older, two younger). My CPTSD includes all of them. I understand that you have worked out a way to help people with CPTSD and that's wonderful. I'm not prepared to spend a bunch of money on your course, however. I'm 70 years old and believe I finally figured it out on my own. I'm more concerned about the damage I may have caused my daughter in her upbringing. Thanks anyway!
Watching all this and observing around the kind of generation is raised now and i always did believed this aspect it not the fault of children its the parents and to double up comes the schools i feel blessed having the right parents which made me to strong and positive and more over be observant to see the facts behind behaviours if others and understand their problems to this day from the age if 21 faced a roller coaster ride 🥴and still sane enough to be pleasant kind and loving no matter had no shit support beside or look forward to my own leader to come out of my own depressions caused by the toxic people i had thanks for making it more sense to deeply understand it technically Richard 👍🏻
RICHARD HI, I MUST BE HONEST, I USE TO STAY AWAY FROM YR VIDEOS, I DID NOT LIKE THEM BUT RECENTLY I CAME BACK AN WATCHED SOME AND I MUST TELL YOU, I AM AMAZED AT WHERE YOU ARE, THE WORK YOU AR DOING ETC. TRULY GOOD STUFF RICHARD,,I AM SOO PROUD OF YOU.. I WENT SO FAR IN MY SELF WORK AND THEN WAS LUCKY TO HAD BEEN FRIENDS WIT JOHN BRADSHAW FOR A COUPLE YRS, HE DIED 3 YEARS AGO AT THE AGE OF 82 HIS MANY BOOKS WOKE AMERICA UP AND I WAS ONE OF THEM TO THE DEEP NEED FOR THIS INNER CHILD WORK WHICH WE MUST DO TO HEAL. GOD BLESS YOU RICHARD A LOVING GOD IS A PERFECT STAND IN FOR THE ABUSIVE FATHER I HAVE FOUND IT THE PERFECT MODEL I DONT KNOW HOW PEOPLE CAN DO IT WITHOUT THAT ART I WAS BLESSED TO AVE FOUND BUT YES SOMETHING GOO AN LOVING MUST REPLACE THE BA PARENT AND REMAP ALL THAT BAD TREATMENT SO MANY OF US SUFFERED AT THEIR HANDS, SAD WE ALL HAVE BEEN SO EFFECTED BUT THANK GOD FOR THESE ANSWERS AND HELPS THAT AVE COME TO HEAL US. MUCH LOVE ANGELA USA COLORADO. I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS WATCHING THEM ALLLLL. XOX
RICHARD GRANNON SPARTANLIFECOACH THANK YOU; THANK YOU, Thank you, I am not shouting (in CAPITAL letters), just really do not have the right words or sticker to express
Thank you for making these videos; especially for those of us who are almost 50 and getting the right puzzle piece in, after 40+ years of parallel approaches, your videos really help to sort out all the accumulated data, search, and experiences accumulated; they land on ready ground: THEY HELP; THEY SAVE LIVES; They allow for progress; they are healing. Thank you for making the course affordable; thank you for engaging with this subject ; thank you for being
I really want to do this course, but need to know what equipment and connectivity is required. Can you provide an Email contact on your website, perhaps?
@Elizaveta Z Thanks so much for your reply! I wanted to know if i need to do the course on my PC or if the phone would do; also if the course requires one to be connected to social media, eg Facebook, Instagram etc. I'm very grateful for you taking time to give me the info I need, and wish you the very best in your recovery.
I think I'm actually at a 5, smack in the middle. I used to be at like a 15, seriously. I had 3 to 5 emotional flashbacks with rage and/panic attached to them, I would freeze in place and remain unmoving for hours. I couldn't function. I can actually stop some flashbacks now, but I have way too many fears still. Usually, I end up falling into old patterns or feelings and then I realise, "oh, it's an emotional flashback." Sometimes it passes with work on my part, sometimes just by reframing or asking clarification on what someone meant to say. Sometimes it lasts a bit longer, but never nearly as debilitating as it used to be. I don't consider myself a 4 yet though, it still feels stronger than I'd like it to be, but I can function and it doesn't happen every day. And the small ones that happen more often pass very quickly and don't stop me. But they drain me just as much.
You describe this so well. Thank you for sharing what must have been pretty horrific and telling us about how much recovery you've made. This gives me hope. I reckon I am a 4-6 somewhere in there. When I go into flashback now, it is only with three particular people. But it is like a bomb that dissipates & then lasts for 3-4 days in a kind of reactivity that I have to calm (meditation), feel/respect, and nurture (also meditation). Each time, I gain tremendous insight... and headaches. I wish I could sense it coming faster... see the trigger then, when it happens. What did you do to train yourself to see it coming?
@@sandyhillcommunitygarden8336 The Mind Detox/Mind Calm meditation therapy helped a lot to reduce the amount, and as for recognising them better and being able to stop some of them, I do EFT tapping. It's like my go-to miracle healing technique for me. It works wonders for all sorts and has allowed me to be able to do so much and heal so much. It's a lot of hard work. I also take Bach Flower Remedies and that seems to help also. I think learning NVC (non violent communication) also has helped because I express myself differently now than before so when I am triggered, people around me react differently to my reactions. I mean, of course, I sometimes go full on bulldozing angry at them before I realise what's happening, but we all learn to recognise the signs of an emotional flashback. There is always hope, it's not impossible to heal. I learnt that for me it's not a miracle one cure fits all that will make it all go away, I have to work at it, address it, face it, battle it, and it's draining, and sometimes I don't want to, and sometimes I don't, but the hard work is paying off now, so it just motivates me to work more.
Also just clicked back in my 20s I became a Born again Christian - as a self hating gay man not a great choice but I was doing my best to be "normal" after leaving Christianity or losing my faith, I found I lost empowerment which has always been hard for me to deal with, it almost makes you feel that they were right and I am bad after all...... I now see the empowerment is seeing Jesus as a supportive parent which than empowers you, upon leaving your faith you're than left with the damaged inner child with no supportive inner parent and even shamed by the church for leaving, becoming a "back slider" and "cast out to the devil" which will eventually have you return in repentance..... Thank you very empowering and freeing.
Andrew Jouan I didn’t fully understand your comment, but, in the context, I like your idea of Christianity as re-parenting to a Father figure. It’s not just Christianity, Judaism has the same concept. Probably Islam, too. In the Psalms it’s clearly mentioned you are not supposed to expect love, support or help from mere mortals. Just from God. It mentions specifically your family. Mother, father, siblings...
@@manuelab5593 I think you've misunderstood me, I think looking at external figures is the problem..... Reparentting yourself from within is the key..... Of course the famous quote is The Kingdom of Heaven is within..... But healing has come psychologically for me which has opened me to spirituality again.
Andrew Jouan it’s great if that worked for you. Now, I understand the re-parenting in Christianity more on the internal side. I assume it depends what view of Christianity you’ve got as well. I come from an Eastern Orthodox tradition. The emphasis is not exclusively on Jesus as it seems to be in the neo-protestant branches. God is a Trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. And the Holy Spirit is within you. That is if you are in union with the Church (the community). I may have explained a bit too much. But the idea was that if praying works, it works as an internal healing. It shifts the focus away from the imperfect people to beings that are unchallengeable and, possibly, within you.
I'll give to you a kind of case study 'couse it's actually really fashinating to witness in first person. I'm italian (random hand gesture can be associated with this statement) and my mother tongue it's the "italian language" but I learned english since I were a child from 5 yo on, and today it's saving me. I'm getting out from my CPTSD following channels like yours and several others, more solutions oriented than the few italian ones. So I'll confess to you a little strange and weird situation that happening to me. I think my brain, in a strange way, choose english as his main language of working 'couse my neuropaths (the bad parent) was built up in italian so when I speak english and I think 'bout myself in that specific language and not in italian, even in my inner dialogue, I feel different and it's less heavy for me to deal with. I don't have the same stress responses than using italian: I can talk to myself directly in english and be way more assertive. It's weird and fascinating in a way. On a cognitive level it's almost like swapping personality and mental attitude: in italian I'm geeky, hypercritic, academic instead in english I'm way more focused and direct to myself. Incredible: this could be explained by the fact that I'm using different neurological paths in the process and swapping the language I use with myself do not trigger me up in the very same way. ('couse my own bad recordings are in italian). This help in fighting the problem just a conscious level viceversa to solve the italian unconscious part of my brain, kicking in the background, I'll have to be brave and strong and sort out some solutions. Thank you for your lecture and your help ! :D (in delay from a different timeline)
After listening i find this sounds life saving. Here is how i. Feel most always. Tired, useless, numb, want to die but don't have guts to end it and too tired to drink it away these days. I am sure i can't afford this..i wish.
carmella larue you are a beautiful soul and so worth just loving yourself! Today you are beautiful. Today you are worth it! Today there is good you do. We are blessed to have you on the planet. You can be angry about what happened to you but what happened to you is not you. You and what happened to you are separate. You are golden! You do change and evolve everyday. Today too. Bless you!
I tried the hypnosis you suggested as the video was playing and I felt cheerful immediately and made me smile. It was so cool! I too want to know which course is this video part of.
0:05 A Little Reminder Of What’s Been Said In The Previous Sections Part 1
3:09 A Little Reminder Of What’s Been Said In The Previous Sections Part 2
8:16 How Do We Convert The “Bad Parent”?
11:50 You Actually Have To Have The Will To Fight
15:41 The Unconscious Side Of The Work
18:40 How Do We Lay Down New Neural Pathways?
21:44 A Brief Explanation Of What The New Messages And The New Ideas Are
25:52 Flooding Yourself With Loving Messages Part 1
28:28 Flooding Yourself With Loving Messages Part 2
29:33 The Beginning Of The Next Section
30:51 The Good Feelings
35:42 How To Thicken The Effect
40:08 The Good Phrases That You’d Love To Hear Every Day
43:37 Your Emotions Count
48:52 Talking About The Second Audio Hypnosis
54:00 Wrapping up
RICHARD GRANNON you are gifted. I remain grateful. ❤️☝️
Jennifer signsoflife I wish you healing. ❤️
'do it in the voice of the most damaging parent' ... .. sort of have the home field advantage after a fashion for positive self talk?
Bad news you're badly split, malformed, enmeshed and need to reparent, good news, the enmeshment has literally given you your fathers/mothers voice to do it with.
RICHARD GRANNON Hi loving your material ..... how can I buy the inner child reprogramming audio ?
How can i access the hypnosis recordings?
I can't believe how good this made me feel! I know this was 3 years ago but I'm glad it's still out here!
everything ive watched in the past 3 videos makes me feel so understood and i want to continue learning. im really grateful for you sharing all this information it just might save my life!
When i get rich.. im giving u all my money. We should pay for a vacation for him. Bring him to the caribbean.. ill take care of him.. richard is like the best uncle ever.. the uncle we all need.
keiwa simpson thanks glad it’s helping 😊 was in Caribbean year before last In. The DR it was lovely
@@RICHARDGRANNON Coooollllll! Well next time you need to come to st.lucia and i will bring you arround...look us up when you have time..its amazing... may be one day you might feel its a idea to come. Thanks for all what you do. ❤❤🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿💪🏿
“The best uncle ever...the uncle we all need” 😂🙌🏼🏆
Keiwa, You’re hilarious & I agree. Looking forward to a celebratory vacation someday!
“Slàinte mhath” 🍻😉
I love Richard
🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱
Transference ?
When Narcissists mirror us during the honeymoon period - They're playing the role of an unconditionally loving parent. Is the joy from the "bond" we share with Narcissist - What our base line feeling should feel like? Is that how people who had good parents feel most of the time? This would explain why we cling to Narcissists long after they've shown us who they truly are. By then our inner child has taken over and simply can't accept the truth that the "parent" (Narcissist) doesn't truly love us after all. This would also explain slipping into being pathologically Naive (Cognitive Dissonance?). Or at least that's my theory :) Perhaps this is why so many people crave love from a significant other. So they can finally feel good enough.
John Doe Totally agree , very well explained.
Wow i always struggle to discribe what it was like. Thank you dead on!
Yes, that was a very insightful thought
Holy deprived of feeling amazing batman....richard is this true do normal people go around euphoric the entire time ?
Amen
I had 2 years of therapy with a good therapist. I didnt understand why it felt like it had been undone. It seems like narcissistic abuse specifically triggers back and inflames old trama. Perhaps if I was with a more normal partner then my previous therapy would have held up. I am glad to have found this channel. I am grateful for all the work and effort you have put in to help yourself and others. The last thing CPTSD people need is another “guru know it all type”.Thanks for keeping it real and being humble.
I liked your comment on how we cannot go back to being a child. We can’t change our childhood but we can change the way we think so we can be better adults... it struck a chord because I’ve noticed in myself some of the same behaviors as a parent that damaged me as a child from my own parents. I can’t change my childhood, but MY child still has time. I can be a better parent so that she doesn’t go through what I went through. Thank you for your videos. I could watch you all day.
❤
I've been listening to a lot of Jordan Peterson lately. When you said that you are getting spiritual and philosophical I thought of him. Rule number two of his 12 rules for life is Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.
Where are the audios?
Just listened to your podcast. Both medium and message very clear. To say the topic is dark is an understatement when you then go on to describe how they deconstruct you into what they want. Totalitarianism is also an understandment when you think of what it does to a young child growing up under these conditions, let alone an adult, in a household that could be described as this. One is held in war like conditions with no safe parent(ing). Judith Herman described this.
- It appears that people are under a 'spell' as such that they are so enchanted by narcissists as an adult. Most people with childhood trauma of varying degrees would think they had found a little bit of heaven in a person, some reprieve from the harshness at times of an often indifferent world. Perhaps one could go further and say most people in DV situations come from such a background. Not all of course, but most.
And this is why, I believe, adults who have experienced this from childhood have such a hard time to reconstruct the self. Reconstruct from what?!
There was a tv program recently aired, "The Cult of the Family," about a woman who was at the very highest end narcissistic/psychopathic who managed to convince a large no. of professionals into her lair, who basically stole children and 'raised' them. Worth watching. What was notable to me was the aftermath for these children. One became a doctor, travelled to India and Thailand to help others. I am always amazed by such people. However, when I researched how she was faring, she wasn't. Her life spiralled in a downwards trajectory, even though she seemed to have the clearest picture of what had happened to her. I like to believe that if that was aired today there would be outrage and those who actively committed crimes as well as the bystanders would be suitably punished.
Your clarity of thought and all the thinking that you have arrived at is becoming so well honed. You say things that so few do. That we have not made it up, it was that bad and we are not alone is also the message.
Humour is definitely a necessary tool. But not one of self abasement, of course. Also agree with the fact we often become infantile rather than adult when we're uncomfortable or not feeling safe. I have acknowledged this to myself reluctantly for some time.
Whilst this topic is becoming ever increasingly available in social media, etc I do have a big problem with mainstream not getting it or trying to. They simply can't go there. It's too... weird, confronting and just freak out rather than trying to understand with a few questions. With you left with the feeling that they're thinking, "So that's why they're .... weird/emotional/skittish..." and just leave it at that. - Fill in the judgemental word(s) used.
And finally, yes to get past the hyper-vigilant part of the brain to the prefrontal is the goal. I've made inroads myself with this. But it's slow. People even on the lower end of the narcissism scale can elicit a high alert trigger reaction from me.
The biggest and most crucial part of healing, with the other necessary journey that goes with it to reach a point of safety, it seems to me, is giving back the SHAME to those who gave it. It may not be just your parents, as it can be intergenerational, so there's a lot to divvy out! It's the shame that is the most toxic byproduct of this. And mainstream doesn't seem to care whether you keep it or not. So, it is up to each and every one of us to take responsibility for NOT owning it or passing it on to future generations; to give it back: to say thanks, but no thanks!
Understanding all that healing encompasses is no small task. You are helping Richard to make these inroads. And I'm very sorry that I have not been able to intersperse this with humour!
So very beautifully put. I feel the same, we in the society are just ignoring the trauma of so many of us, instead of actually making sure that we break the cycle of abuse. It's people like Richard that hold this avalanche back, but we all should try to do it, if we can, in any way we can.
Merry I so agree with you. I thought I was the only one.
Sounds like the 'good parent' hypnosis' helps to flood the system with oxytocin, giving rise to those positive feelings such as feeling supported, etc. Aside from being the 'bonding hormone', oxytocin also allows new neural circuits to be laid down while depleting old ones and this helps the individual to better go out and explore the world and create social bonds as a supported human being with a healthy sense of self-esteem. If we did not get that attunement in infancy/childhood our brains were not bathed in oxytocin and this can make us prone to all those inhibiting feelings and behaviours that prevent our fully engaging life.
If my mom were still here, she'd say... "Robin, I know you can do it, I've seen you do a complete 180 when you make up your mind." The bad thing that happened when I was 11 drowned out all the good voices in my life Nobody knew what PTSD was when I was 12, and I went A-WALL on my parents after the abuse happened. I lost my my mom to cancer 12 years ago and I miss her so much. Lately, when I feel stuck and I can't move forward, I remember what she said, and then I can just take one more step ...when I make up my mind to do so. I am in the process of leaving my bad situation one tiny step at a time. Thank you Richard for helping us and giving us directions on the road back to ourselves.
Thank you for the videos. Your courses sound amazing. I spent three years with a therapist who gave me the exercise to write in a journal the messages from my inner critic. I did that and we came up with a counter statement for each negative thought process. Also I did a lot of inner child work through drawings. I would suggest that this might be helpful for your clients to keep a drawing journal as well. They don't have to be taught art by you, then can draw at any level to simply express through imagery. I am an artist and art teacher and I believe that expressing through imagery is very therapeutic. My therapy changed my life and I am so grateful for the therapist who helped me. I have listened to a number of your videos and I want to thank you for your wonderful insight and vision of health. I know you are helping a lot of people.
This is pretty much "concious parenting"... something i had to do when i had my kids and i asked myself "what do i want for my kids as emotional tools to cope with life as adults?" Coz our kids will grow up into adults and 'grow away' from us... that is their destiny and we can't stop it.
So the questions we must ask are:
a) what kind of adults do i want them to be?
b) how can i help them achieve this?
c) what do i have to do for myself in order to be capable of acheiving b) & then a)
And often while we're doing this, we discover things in ourselves which can also be helped by the things we're learning in order to help our kids. So eventually our "concious parenting" of our kids becomes "concious parenting" of ourselves as well...
2 birds with 1 stone! How could you lose!?
F.... amazing. God, what a breath of fresh air. And, exhale!!
i wish I had people like you in my life.
C Mc yea, if only eh , hes great
Dig deeper.
I use anyone from whom I've felt a sense of love and care, including teachers, friends, fictional characters, and even characters that I make up.. my favorite is my dragon, Clyde. I can feel his heat/warmth, he can char my enemies, take me on a flight.. I'll also bring in a whole bunch of characters.. anyone I can think of. For example, when I've woken from a nightmare, and especially if I fear that going to sleep is going to put me back in that scene, I'll bring my cast of characters into the scene, and let anyone I can think of pop in there with me. I've had Gandalf, my grade 7 teacher, Shrek, the Oracle from The Matrix, and more.
The dread of the scene gets overwhelmed with a sense of warmth and love, and eventually playfulness and whimsy. My mind is busy thinking of anyone that I might admire/by loved by/etc., and the icing on the cake is that I get to hangout with Clyde at the afterparty to the scene :)
In a way, you have
C Mc amen!
This is so super helpful! Really really life changing advice. I can't wait to get the whole course. I keep realizing a lot of the "bad parent" in me is from older siblings, along with my parents. I wonder if that's pretty common with younger siblings with cptsd
Not just older siblings... it can be younger ones too, if less often. I think the pattern moves throughout the family no matter the age
Absolutely superb work again Richie. Thank you for being so kind as to share this - it is incredibly helpful. You are an amazing soul, deserving of love and appreciation. I hope you feel that from all of us.
Thanks Richard for a practical, comprehensive & clear method of healing CPTSD - I've just listened to first 3 videos & already I'm finding it helpful :)
Thank you, your work is saving people’s lives. I would never have reached it other way than through free CZcams video. Thank you again.
Thank you Richard for ALL the effort you put in towards the healing of others.
I was overwhelmed with good emotion between the videos (watched the previos one 4x first) then opened the 2nd one. Tears ran down my face and I wanted to tell you I love you. Not fighting it. I love you. Richard, Wow. This is REAL. This is Healing. Thank you.
I ordered mine today. I thought I would have to fix this damn CPTSD with psilocybin but maybe the videos will get rid of this crap once and for all. its a lot of damn work to second guess everything.
I adore the way you explain things. And lighten up w/ laughing.
Richard, I am so thankful for this video, this reparenting really makes me feel nourished and cared for! You are a blessing🦋🐈
I'm an INFJ and an empath, and hearing words never had as much impact on me as observing others feelings. Telling myself words of affirmation has always been basically useless. When I repatterned my child, I didn't use positive loving words in the visualized scenario I did. I visualized myself (the large parent) looking at the small child and not saying anything, but feeling positive feelings and the child could sense those being expressed, then I imagined myself as the small child sensing and absorbing those loving feelings. So, I think a person's cognitive preferences may be important to consider when setting up the repatterning scenario.
Oh yeah, I also transferred feelings of strength, pride, and faith to my child. That was important.
I can generate specific feelings at will as easily as other people can generate words.
I waited year after year for the individual who I believed was my husband (aka: Narcissist) to appear in person at my front door! After the first 3 years had passed- I stopped waiting for him to show up. Now, alone and single- I realized that "I had been PLAYED by the Narcissist." I suffered tremendously during this time- both physically and emotionally. I started losing a lot of my hair and I started gaining a lot of weight. The pain was overbearing, at times. Since, 2015 it has been 8 long years of "Uncertainty", "Loneliness", "Anguish", "Anxiety", "Depression", "Bewilderment", and "Heartache." I did not know what "Narcissism" was until most recently- when I started my research online about "Narcissism." ( This is how I found your CZcams content.) Thank- You.. for that! What advice could you give me Richard on what would be the fastest way to get rid of feelings of betrayal done by the Narc?
Looking forward to this one friend! Thank you over and again and again for all of your effort!
He's doing good in this world!
the "Heal the Super Ego" course is out now spartanlifecoach.com/heal-super-ego/
I am both the therapist and in my own therapy for these issues - thank you for your teaching and information videos .
This series might be the best thing on youtube to date. Thank you for filming it all out!
Thank you so much for these 3 videos. They come at the right moment for me, I have an impulse to tackle my inner demons lately, so I might as well "surf that wave" if you get the metaphor, and it's really great to find the right tools on my path at this very moment. What you are doing produces a lot of good, at least in me, and I bet in tons of people of the world too. Thank you. Thank you so much. :-)
I've learned so much watching your videos & I'm so Grateful! Thank you for sharing! Wishing you many Blessings!
You have found out how to inspire self-love over the internet.
This takes a an amazing amount of psychological understanding, feeling to word translation skill, and sheer effort.
You're amazing.
There's a common phrase in Christianity, "Seeking the face of the Father". I believe God can be that good parent. He does say that in the video.
Sam, thank you for tying Christ into this. It's been incredible for me to understand CPTSD finally.
I score at least 6 or 7 on the ACE survey which measures PTSD
I'm an Orthodox Christian trying to learn to Love God and neighbor.
If you have any more thoughts about how Richard's training is compatible with Christianity I'd love to hear it! Thanks again
@@Andrew-yw6kt This doesn't coincide exactly. It will change your relationship with Jesus though. It allows Him to be an inner parent.
@@Andrew-yw6kt I hear EMDR is also effective. I've tried neurofeedback briefly, and I think it could be a tremendous accompaniment to what Richard is doing, as would EMDR. You can look those up on CZcams. I also have trauma between the 5 and 10 range, probably 7ish😔
This may be the most helpful information I have ever received in my life. Thank you Richard.
Hi. I love listening to your videos, very interesting mindsets, I enjoy having headphones and working at the same time. You describe everything I actually want to hear, you've been through a lot and it makes me believe you know what you're talking about. I have spent a large part of my life with psychologists, talk therapy, group therapy and for the most part it became blah blah blah and it made me lose the desire to tell such a difficult situation I survived but with deep wounds, it was like you said that I thought I could solve my problems all by myself but I developed a bubble around myself and my life became like a vicious circle. I am convinced that my deep wounds will take a long time to heal but I try to take one day at a time. Your videos are exactly what I need right now so I want to thank you so very much. You are a good man and I hope you continue to do what you are doing now I feel that you really want to achieve a strong purpose by helping those who are vulnerable and those who are broken and those who seek healing. Thank you so much my friend.🌹🌹🌹❤️❤️
I’m a one to maybe , on good day, even a half.
However, with very upsetting situations I am easily triggered, and go into an emotional meltdown, especially without loving support.
Thankyou Richard for this post. Very helpful. Xxx
1234 5678 same. Maybe a 2. But I’m also bipolar
Thank you
Was just pointed to your support yesterday. This is helpful, I relate to your forceful empathetic style and clarity. Fortunately I also have strong spiritual guide . I’m coming up to age 50 this year and just before lockdown managed to escape an 8 year abusive toxic relationship that started with me having life saving open heart surgery to remove a huge tumour in my left atrium ( which I feel was an accumulation of the CPSTD as you name it : toxic parents not present and boarding school from 10 yrs of age) Now challenging detoxing happening and Thankfully a lot of Grace to help me Wake Up and get To the Truth of all things existence. So -Gratitude for your part.
Praise God for your videos. You are all up in my life. Thank you so much and may God continue to bless you.
Richard I love your energy!! Very inspiring and I can feel your passion for this! This is exactly what I needed. I can tell this is going to be super effective 😊
after a breaking point and i was severely depressed i had a period where i did an exercise of executing a relentless positive inner voice inner monologue. wasnt really me relieving myself per say i assigned the voice as an inner parent or a caregiver or comforter who was not ME
because being cptsd/anxious preoccupied the deep yearning for someone else to actually care about me is too strong and being a blacksheep in a family with the golden child(1 kids, the good one and the bad one) in a narc dictatorship household the extreme unfairness of someone else being cared about and me not being cared about and why can other people be cared about and not me etc rage
but ANYWAYS i just had a relentless comforter voice playing in my head calling me sweet names and being kind to me for like a month and i basically came out of my depression. still have my issues and im actively working through them so that i can actually have fulfilling relationships and fix the core wound but it was a very effective exercise for me. maybe for spot crisis management
Sunny Baby thanks you so so much for sharing this , will give it a try , hoping for the best in regards to your healing journey !!
Thank you so much. You're a wealth of very specific information that many of us can benefit from. CPTSD is clearly one of my main struggles and your videos are helpful and insightful! It feels good to be able to relate, to not feel so alone. I'm glad this is something that can be overcome and that we can individually reprogram ourselves. The "recording" is ridiculously defeating and needs to be overwritten...like yesterday, like 20 years ago. So many thanks! :)
I am loving your messaging ... relief is the exact word I would you use to describe your imaging!!! Thank you!!!
I thank you so much for your work. You have taken me through the process of understanding the narcissist and how they capitalize on my trauma. Now I am following your work and learning how to replace the toxic thoughts my mother lodged in my brain with positive and loving beliefs about myself and the world. With new awareness and tools I hope to rebuild the core of myself and become strong and brave and hopeful.
Seems like lots of people, including myself, is a bit confused about how to get the audio; looking forward to some clarity. Thanks again Richard, this course has already brought lots of light.
the "Heal the Super Ego" course is out now spartanlifecoach.com/heal-super-ego/
@@RICHARDGRANNON I bought the course but cant seem to find the tracks anywhere? Only audios 1 to 4 and was looking forward to doing them. Has the course been changed?
@@RICHARDGRANNON geting error 404 messages from this site.
I keep getting an error page.
@@RICHARDGRANNON I have tried to get this but the error page keeps coming up. Would love to buy this course.
incredibly entertaining to watch and visually guided. Great stuff, thanks Richard!
Thanks Richard. I really appreciate your presentations. I've made a great shift over the past few weeks: I moved my locus of control from external to internal. Transactional Analysis is marvelous. Thanks again.
I'm part way through this and I'm laughing to myself as I can hear a fight going on inside my head....the part of me that says I'm to blame for all the ills in this world is getting beaten up!!! Probably for the first time in my life... amazing :)
You’re simply fabulous Richard 🤍🙏💙
Thank you for the incredible practical application of dealing with cptsd. As I become my own mom and dad to me, the ones I needed, I believe this will help me let go of the mom I did have and release her from my life’s unconsciousness and consciousness.
Just purchased one of your ebooks on Amazon! I’m excited to start healing from childhood trauma and my last relationship of nine years with a narcissist. I’m ready to do the work.
Binge watching all your videos. Life saving 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟✨
Thanks so much man. ❤️ Without many options on the NHS for us your channel is a game changer. Learning to heal :)
Richard you are really helping give folks their lives. This is 100%.
Thank you so much for this. It helped me a lot. I have felt so helpless for so long and this Really encouraged me to ask for help cause whatever I’m doing isn’t working for me.
Over the years, I've found "good parents" role models, good human beings, men and women I've seen positive and admirable personality traits and incorporate those things into my life and who I am. Thanks for adding to my life and reminding me that all this works for me.
Using the word 'inner parent' is still very much suited to so many cases im sure. What aggravates me, are those who have been given psychological lables and still dont get the pattern that their abusive parents and the repeated traumas, had EVERYTHING to do with their emotional imbalances. Some get enormously attached to these lables 'bipolar' 'autistic' because its an ownership of something in their seemingly
powerless world. Thanks for creating these. How can I become a life coach when im grown up?
About the part being out to destroy you and not having anything positive: I think that it used to have a good reason to exist, so you could stop yourself from doing things with negative self talk before you did something that your parent would treat you way worse for. As an adult it no longer serves a purpose but it did at one point and acknowledging that and maybe even being thankful that it worked so well that you survived might help in the process of letting it go.
Thank you! Remarkably helpful. You are very generous and it is deeply appreciated.
This is truly wonderful, i cannot wait to try it! Thank you Richard, you are bloody brilliant! x
Great content and sound advice looking forward to the next installment! Thanks for your passion to help us manage cptsd!
It terrifies me way too much to imagine a mother standing behind me. I have no older positive females to relate to. No-one knew the abuse was happening, so teachers, other parents, (and even psychiatrists later on!) unknowingly colluded with my mother and thought there was something wrong with me. So instead, I imagined a giant cat behind me (I have great experiences with loving cats) transmitting unconditional warmth and positive regard to me as child. My anxiety went down. It is possible to adapt this exercise if you genuinely can't feel comfortable trusting an adult behind you yet.
Richard, this makes more sense to me than just about anything I've seen thus far. I am looking forward to signing up soon. Thank you for your excellent work and congrats on the inner work. 💗. BTW, I am reminded of some exercises outlined in The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. Also, in a workshop I attended using her techniques we constructed inner champions to defeat our inner critics. BAM, BOOM, POW!!
You are amazing Richard, helping so many people!!
I found your videos at age 66 and They have helped me change my perspective on my past and on my future. Thank you so much
I do this often. I love this. Thank you Richard!
but the thought of imagining my parents being loving towards me makes me feel ill....
how do I imagine myself as a child?
Shardiex I agree me too.
I think what he means is visualise your idea parents, not your real parents. He's says at one point you wouldn't want to do that
Whenever I need to idealize - Think of three friends’ parents you admire. Choose one trait from each you love most. Now put them together as one person, your ideal mom/dad.
One author imigines Quan Yin as her mother.
I was just casually watching your videos for distraction while doing boring work, but I surprised myself the day after by catching myself in an emotional flashback and recovering from it. Well... that's something! I think I'm going to take a closer look. Thanks, man.
Thank you so much for these videos. I bought the course and look forward to healing.
This is so helpful and your dedication is remarkable! I wish you were here as my therapist.
Phenomenal content. Thank you so much. You sold me on your healing the superego course 🙏
Thanks for doing this. I will try this on my own. If I were to put myself on that scale I would be probably 1 or 2. Even though I'm doing ok I feel like certain psychological issues caused in the past are still holding me back.
Such passion and good stuff! Big thanks 🙂 Mr. Gannon
Bless u rich. Will be definitely getting this course soon. Cant wait..
Really found these interesting Richard, thank you
Richard i felt synchronicity with the universe when i found you and im not fawning you its for real you’re the most important person i never met in my life
I've been watching you a while now, i love your eclectic approach.
You can put me to sleep and put things in my head any day 😂😂😂 thanks for doing what you do.
Greetings Richard!
Was floored by the point of view of the God of the Old Testament vs the God of the New Testament. Up until I was in college I talked to God the Father (my Dad) all the time. The Old Testament didn't make a lot of sense to me because of the history timeline. However, once I became a parent and I read the "Law" I realized that those laws are LOVING! Boundaries for us! The 2 greatest laws are 1. to love God with all your heart, and 2. to love others as you love yourself. So glad you are teaching the wounded to love themselves! :)
Good stuff! Kind of plays on the stuff I learned in the 90s by people like John Bradshaw. By the way, I've watched so many of your videos back-to-back I actually dreamed I met Sam Vaknin and told him to tell you "hi". LOL
"We need to conquer the recordings of the bad parent" I loved how you phrased that, it makes me feel like the hero of a story having to slay a dragon 🗡️🐉
This is absolute gold, thank you for putting it out there sir!
1 when I'm single. 10 when in a relationship
Top tip...be single
So.. 10 then
Hahahahahahahh
Where is the audio hypnosis?
Beth Flynn i think its in his course which u can find from the website
You are trying to patch the holes in the bucket and fill it with positive stuff that won't leak out. Thank you. Had an emotional response to something you said and forwarded it to my councilor so we can talk about it. Appreciate having words to explain what I think. You are the first person who seems to have found a similar path in a similar fashion to me.
I like ping pong plus tennis. You make me laugh through my tears and thank you Richard Grannon!
may have to watch this again. great stuff
Will def. share with my therapist! Thank you oooodles!
I appreciate your videos. When speaking of the bad mom or bad dad, that's only a small part of it in some cases. There is a whole family.....in my case four brothers (two older, two younger). My CPTSD includes all of them. I understand that you have worked out a way to help people with CPTSD and that's wonderful. I'm not prepared to spend a bunch of money on your course, however. I'm 70 years old and believe I finally figured it out on my own. I'm more concerned about the damage I may have caused my daughter in her upbringing. Thanks anyway!
Watching all this and observing around the kind of generation is raised now and i always did believed this aspect it not the fault of children its the parents and to double up comes the schools i feel blessed having the right parents which made me to strong and positive and more over be observant to see the facts behind behaviours if others and understand their problems to this day from the age if 21 faced a roller coaster ride 🥴and still sane enough to be pleasant kind and loving no matter had no shit support beside or look forward to my own leader to come out of my own depressions caused by the toxic people i had thanks for making it more sense to deeply understand it technically Richard 👍🏻
Thankyou so much your videos changed my life x
Thanks for your hard work on this
I did not listen to the audio yet, but I feel like I am already getting helpfull stuff out of this. Thank you
I absolutely love this. Amazing ❤
Oh my goodness.I’m so late to the game but I’m so very grateful to be here. 👍🏼
RICHARD HI, I MUST BE HONEST, I USE TO STAY AWAY FROM YR VIDEOS, I DID NOT LIKE THEM BUT RECENTLY I CAME BACK AN WATCHED SOME AND I MUST TELL YOU, I AM AMAZED AT WHERE YOU ARE, THE WORK YOU AR DOING ETC. TRULY GOOD STUFF RICHARD,,I AM SOO PROUD OF YOU.. I WENT SO FAR IN MY SELF WORK AND THEN WAS LUCKY TO HAD BEEN FRIENDS WIT JOHN BRADSHAW FOR A COUPLE YRS, HE DIED 3 YEARS AGO AT THE AGE OF 82 HIS MANY BOOKS WOKE AMERICA UP AND I WAS ONE OF THEM TO THE DEEP NEED FOR THIS INNER CHILD WORK WHICH WE MUST DO TO HEAL. GOD BLESS YOU RICHARD A LOVING GOD IS A PERFECT STAND IN FOR THE ABUSIVE FATHER I HAVE FOUND IT THE PERFECT MODEL I DONT KNOW HOW PEOPLE CAN DO IT WITHOUT THAT ART I WAS BLESSED TO AVE FOUND BUT YES SOMETHING GOO AN LOVING MUST REPLACE THE BA PARENT AND REMAP ALL THAT BAD TREATMENT SO MANY OF US SUFFERED AT THEIR HANDS, SAD WE ALL HAVE BEEN SO EFFECTED BUT THANK GOD FOR THESE ANSWERS AND HELPS THAT AVE COME TO HEAL US. MUCH LOVE ANGELA USA COLORADO. I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS WATCHING THEM ALLLLL. XOX
Why are there 8 dislikes? Richard Grannon rocks 💗🥳💕
the "Heal the Super Ego" course is out now spartanlifecoach.com/heal-super-ego/
RICHARD GRANNON SPARTANLIFECOACH THANK YOU; THANK YOU, Thank you, I am not shouting (in CAPITAL letters), just really do not have the right words or sticker to express
Thank you for making these videos; especially for those of us who are almost 50 and getting the right puzzle piece in, after 40+ years of parallel approaches, your videos really help to sort out all the accumulated data, search, and experiences accumulated; they land on ready ground: THEY HELP; THEY SAVE LIVES; They allow for progress; they are healing. Thank you for making the course affordable; thank you for engaging with this subject ; thank you for being
I really want to do this course, but need to know what equipment and connectivity is required. Can you provide an Email contact on your website, perhaps?
@Elizaveta Z Thanks so much for your reply! I wanted to know if i need to do the course on my PC or if the phone would do; also if the course requires one to be connected to social media, eg Facebook, Instagram etc. I'm very grateful for you taking time to give me the info I need, and wish you the very best in your recovery.
I think I'm actually at a 5, smack in the middle. I used to be at like a 15, seriously. I had 3 to 5 emotional flashbacks with rage and/panic attached to them, I would freeze in place and remain unmoving for hours. I couldn't function. I can actually stop some flashbacks now, but I have way too many fears still. Usually, I end up falling into old patterns or feelings and then I realise, "oh, it's an emotional flashback." Sometimes it passes with work on my part, sometimes just by reframing or asking clarification on what someone meant to say. Sometimes it lasts a bit longer, but never nearly as debilitating as it used to be. I don't consider myself a 4 yet though, it still feels stronger than I'd like it to be, but I can function and it doesn't happen every day. And the small ones that happen more often pass very quickly and don't stop me. But they drain me just as much.
You describe this so well. Thank you for sharing what must have been pretty horrific and telling us about how much recovery you've made. This gives me hope. I reckon I am a 4-6 somewhere in there. When I go into flashback now, it is only with three particular people. But it is like a bomb that dissipates & then lasts for 3-4 days in a kind of reactivity that I have to calm (meditation), feel/respect, and nurture (also meditation). Each time, I gain tremendous insight... and headaches. I wish I could sense it coming faster... see the trigger then, when it happens. What did you do to train yourself to see it coming?
@@sandyhillcommunitygarden8336 The Mind Detox/Mind Calm meditation therapy helped a lot to reduce the amount, and as for recognising them better and being able to stop some of them, I do EFT tapping. It's like my go-to miracle healing technique for me. It works wonders for all sorts and has allowed me to be able to do so much and heal so much. It's a lot of hard work. I also take Bach Flower Remedies and that seems to help also. I think learning NVC (non violent communication) also has helped because I express myself differently now than before so when I am triggered, people around me react differently to my reactions. I mean, of course, I sometimes go full on bulldozing angry at them before I realise what's happening, but we all learn to recognise the signs of an emotional flashback. There is always hope, it's not impossible to heal. I learnt that for me it's not a miracle one cure fits all that will make it all go away, I have to work at it, address it, face it, battle it, and it's draining, and sometimes I don't want to, and sometimes I don't, but the hard work is paying off now, so it just motivates me to work more.
Also just clicked back in my 20s I became a Born again Christian - as a self hating gay man not a great choice but I was doing my best to be "normal" after leaving Christianity or losing my faith, I found I lost empowerment which has always been hard for me to deal with, it almost makes you feel that they were right and I am bad after all...... I now see the empowerment is seeing Jesus as a supportive parent which than empowers you, upon leaving your faith you're than left with the damaged inner child with no supportive inner parent and even shamed by the church for leaving, becoming a "back slider" and "cast out to the devil" which will eventually have you return in repentance.....
Thank you very empowering and freeing.
Andrew Jouan I didn’t fully understand your comment, but, in the context, I like your idea of Christianity as re-parenting to a Father figure. It’s not just Christianity, Judaism has the same concept. Probably Islam, too. In the Psalms it’s clearly mentioned you are not supposed to expect love, support or help from mere mortals. Just from God. It mentions specifically your family. Mother, father, siblings...
You could say that the whole book of Psalms is a re-parenting process. Maybe that’s why it is so effective.
@@manuelab5593 I think you've misunderstood me, I think looking at external figures is the problem..... Reparentting yourself from within is the key..... Of course the famous quote is The Kingdom of Heaven is within..... But healing has come psychologically for me which has opened me to spirituality again.
Andrew Jouan it’s great if that worked for you. Now, I understand the re-parenting in Christianity more on the internal side. I assume it depends what view of Christianity you’ve got as well. I come from an Eastern Orthodox tradition. The emphasis is not exclusively on Jesus as it seems to be in the neo-protestant branches. God is a Trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. And the Holy Spirit is within you. That is if you are in union with the Church (the community). I may have explained a bit too much. But the idea was that if praying works, it works as an internal healing. It shifts the focus away from the imperfect people to beings that are unchallengeable and, possibly, within you.
It's all HOW you see it... interpretation frames your entire existence ;)
I'll give to you a kind of case study 'couse it's actually really fashinating to witness in first person. I'm italian (random hand gesture can be associated with this statement) and my mother tongue it's the "italian language" but I learned english since I were a child from 5 yo on, and today it's saving me. I'm getting out from my CPTSD following channels like yours and several others, more solutions oriented than the few italian ones. So I'll confess to you a little strange and weird situation that happening to me. I think my brain, in a strange way, choose english as his main language of working 'couse my neuropaths (the bad parent) was built up in italian so when I speak english and I think 'bout myself in that specific language and not in italian, even in my inner dialogue, I feel different and it's less heavy for me to deal with. I don't have the same stress responses than using italian: I can talk to myself directly in english and be way more assertive. It's weird and fascinating in a way. On a cognitive level it's almost like swapping personality and mental attitude: in italian I'm geeky, hypercritic, academic instead in english I'm way more focused and direct to myself. Incredible: this could be explained by the fact that I'm using different neurological paths in the process and swapping the language I use with myself do not trigger me up in the very same way.
('couse my own bad recordings are in italian).
This help in fighting the problem just a conscious level viceversa to solve the italian unconscious part of my brain, kicking in the background, I'll have to be brave and strong and sort out some solutions.
Thank you for your lecture and your help ! :D
(in delay from a different timeline)
“Inner parenting re-patterning”
thru the unconscious
After listening i find this sounds life saving. Here is how i. Feel most always. Tired, useless, numb, want to die but don't have guts to end it and too tired to drink it away these days.
I am sure i can't afford this..i wish.
carmella larue you are a beautiful soul and so worth just loving yourself! Today you are beautiful. Today you are worth it! Today there is good you do. We are blessed to have you on the planet.
You can be angry about what happened to you but what happened to you is not you. You and what happened to you are separate. You are golden! You do change and evolve everyday. Today too. Bless you!
I tried the hypnosis you suggested as the video was playing and I felt cheerful immediately and made me smile. It was so cool! I too want to know which course is this video part of.
Where is the audio? It feels like a cruel joke that some people have got it, but no-one actually posts the link.