The Body Language Expert: 4 Body Language Tricks That Will Make People Love You & Respect You!
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- čas přidán 28. 05. 2024
- This episode will help you become irresistible to others & build your self confidence. Guest - Doctor Amy Cuddy
00:00 Intro
02:09 Is body language important?
06:33 Your posture can affect how you feel!
08:50 Your famous TED Talk
14:59 How to know if we’re holding ourselves properly
18:35 What to do if one has low self-esteem
21:47 Why your self-story really matters
24:31 Why body language helps you to be more authentic
29:27 How body language affects what people think of you
35:56 How to nudge yourself in the direction you want to get to
43:32 How do we become better speakers?
47:40 Is eye contact important?
50:06 Is it possible to learn to read people's body language?
55:59 Can we fake good body language?
01:04:17 Your bullying experience
01:15:27 Your bullies' motivations
01:23:40 The importance and how to build trust
01:25:50 The last guest's question
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Such an insightful episode 🤯 Baffled at the amount you can change about yourself just by holding yourself differently, I wish someone had told me this sooner!! If you enjoyed this episode or anything else we've produced, hit the subscribe button and I guarantee to keep bringing you these episodes full of value. Appreciate you all 🙏🏽
Bring @vinhgiang
Could you start including academic sources when they are cited in the conversation? We have to be able to double check her claims.
@@LiquidfirePUAgoogle?! 🤔
Hey, can't buy your book from amazone. I am from switzerland.
Please put the name of the person being interviewed in the Description, or preferably, in the Video Title.
Workplace bullying is so toxic. I chose to leave after my experience, and consequently abandoned a career that I truly loved. I understand how difficult it is for Ms. Cuddy to simply "get over it."
The Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies estimates that the average Baby Boomer has $202k saved up for retirement. According to the 4% Rule, this would result in a $8k annual retirement income. Judging by this I feel under pressure to get the most out of my $424k in savings. In order to increase my yields, I am in desperate need of guidance.
I'm having à mental vreakdown becauseof à toxique work environnement
I'm sorry that happened to you.
Thank you. I made a good life after it, but it truly took a few years.@@grumylynn
Truly sorry to hear that, i have also experienced that as well. Most of the time it means they are threatened by your work and presence . The best way to overcome that is actually build confidence and say something at the moment it is happening and defend yourself , for example say a rude joke back but wit a smile. trust me this works it helps you and other people as well.
0:00: 💪 Body language is important and affects our first impressions, mood, and performance.
8:18: 🗣 The speaker discusses the power of body language and feeling powerful.
16:51: 🤔 The way we carry ourselves physically and mentally can have a significant impact on our well-being and self-perception.
24:22: 😊 Body language that conveys authenticity and confidence is attractive in both dating and professional settings.
32:44: 😌 Making small changes and focusing on one thing at a time can help overcome feelings of powerlessness and build confidence.
42:02: 🗣 The pandemic has taken a toll on people's mental stability, causing many to feel powerless and stuck in a downward spiral.
48:33: 😳 The speaker discusses the significance of eye contact and body language in communication, as well as how to read people better.
54:13: 😊 Changing one's self-perception is more effective than trying to fake body language.
1:04:40: 😔 The speaker shares their experience of being bullied and the devastating impact it had on their life and identity.
1:09:55: 😔 The speaker shares her experience of being bullied and the impact it had on her personal and professional life.
1:20:01: 👥 Bullying tends to target individuals who have lower status within their profession or workplace, and those who gain high status outside of their in-group are less likely to be bullied.
1:27:54: 💬 The importance of having a professional conversation about recent events in the UK and the need for a common language to discuss them.
Recap by Tammy AI
Well done!
Thank you! Another waste of time. Guess I will just do me! 😂
Heaven exists, because if you sir.
amazing ai summary tool Tammy AI! Love it! thx for saving us!
Thank you.
Wow I resonate with her so much, such a sweet woman. Bullies prey on empathetic and compassionate people. They see your light, and all they wanna do is diminish it, because of their own lack within.
I’m so grateful she’s sharing her story, because life is just too short to be tormented by people who are absolutely miserable with their lives.🙏🏾
We don‘t know her in person.
Not sure she is „sweet“, but she is certainly very insecure. It‘s very obvious is the way she talks, it‘s not fluid and with a lot of repetition and „umm“.
Perhaps this is what you perceive as „sweet“…
@karadiberlino She seems nervous
@@karadiberlino death threats and harrassment have been known to do that and a lot more to a person. :/
I got to the point in my life when I no longer want people to love me and respect. I want them to leave me alone lol.
I have vigorous bouts of that as well..
I believe what you are feeling is increasing specifically post covid lock downs.
Lol good for a period of time in your life but not forever..
Nothing wrong with that. I enjoy peace, quiet, & solitude. Ignore everyone demanding you be a social butterfly. You do you
😂 same
I have seen a lot of people who have never left the high school mentality. They've never "graduated" and never will.
Dear Amy, thank you for showing yourself to us. That people who bullied you will maybe laugh on the outside but only to hide all the shame for what they have done to you in the past. And we know it's because of their jealousy and their incapability of loving themselves in the first place. Humans are very capable of healing. Take your time, you are not alone.
I believe there are as many bullies in higher educational institutions as there are in high school. It’s a shame that the bully culture hasn’t changed and, that it continues into adulthood. I believe Early Childhood Education is the most valuable education. I recommend the book: All I Ever Need To Learn I Learned In Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum ❤️ Thank you for this most important talk.
@@teddyde6128very much my experience in college which I ended that by dropping out. I’m back in online school but it’s hard because the people I cultivated around got their degrees and look down on me even though we make the same and I am constantly reminded by that which makes it difficult for me mentally to focus on online classes atm.
" HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE "
BULLIES & COWARDS
HOW THEY FORCE
OTHERS TO
" GO ALONG TO GET ALONG "
I BELIEVE
WE ARE IN THE TIME
TO HEAR AND
SEE
REVELATIONS
from BULLIES & COWARDS
in
CORRUPT NEWS TOO
POLITICS
FIERCE and MALICIOUS
COUP of BULLIES
POLITICAL JUDGES
HAVE TO GO
THE LAW
IS NOT
POLITICAL
DEFENSE IS BULLIED
never the
PROSECUTION
THAT'S HARM - only
DON'T SAY " HELLO "
IT'S
ABOVE GROUND
CONDITIONS
" EVIDENCE "
WE THE PEOPLE MUST
STUDY OUT
AND CHANGE
WHAT GOING ALONG
HAS DONE
ACADEMIC MALPRACTICE
" 21ST CENTURY IF SELF "
)( documentary )(
D.O.B
YOUR JOB
" CRITICAL MASS "
TAJ
HEART CROWN
DR AMY CUDDY
WEARING HER'S
WITH CARE
Fb BULLIES
WORK BULLIES
BANK BULLIES
LANDLORD BULLIES
LOBBY BULLIES
" CEASE & DECEASE "
ORDER OF LAW
TO
EXERCISE by ADVOCATES
FREE from POLITICS
" WE THE PEOPLE "
MUST DO IT
SMART UP AMERICA
PEACEMA' NY !
She is not exaggerating. I got through work bullying, as well. It is hard. I was fired as she said as a first possibility. It took me 3 years to heal. Today I learned to stand up for myself and others, confronting it hard every time it can happen. Great interview. Great teaching. Thank you both.
I had some weird harassment stuff going on at my job… And eventually I quit. You do have moments of understanding the kind of rage that has people do extreme things in those kinds of circumstances. Not worth it. I’m working at a lovely job now or I practice expressing myself being open and having fun being present and being charismatic and playful.
Glad to know things are better for you both
I’m still coming to terms with it 3 years on. It reduced me to tears in front of my young children on many an occasion and I ended up on antidepressants and diazepam. I was the manager to my bully and she was jealous of my role. When I went on maternity leave my manager left and she got the new manager (who was an even bigger bully) on side who then restructured me out of the team - In hindsight they did me a massive favour. My direct report is still in the role she did when I left so maybe she isn’t as great as she thought she was after all. I was so happy to leave that team and work with people who acted professionally and didn’t act like children.
If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that when a bully targets you, you have to respond with a double dose. When I stand up for myself, take the upper hand, all the bullies quickly back away. Bullies are cowards, who try to gain status by hurting others.
Great job letting Dr. Cuddy talk for an extended period and not interrupting her.
She is real She is authentic. And Academia breeds the problems she experienced. I am glad for her recovery and her success.
I agree that Academia breeds the problems she experienced. I went to grad school with Amy. She was. and I'm sure still is, very serious about doing science right. She is not a sloppy scientist she does not bend or fabricate results. Maybe she hit a false positive with power posing, but that could happen to any serious scientist. We're supposed to follow leads as far as they go, even if they ultimately might not hold up. Good science means taking risks - investing time and money - in testing hypotheses that don't always pan out. No scientist should have to give up their career for a type-1 error.
I like how humble she is, to correct him and say it was number 2 most viewed. She’s really sweet and I hope she gets the respect she deserves.
VERY saddened and upset to hear about the bullying she had endured, it has devastating effects on you and scars you for life. listening to her brought me to tears
Super insightful episode. The part about bullying touched me so much. I was bullied at work when I worked for the national trust in the UK at head office. It was such a nasty horrible toxic environment and what Dr Cuddy said about it staging with you and how it affects every area of your life was so... Comforting... It was amazing to have someone so professional and so accomplished be able to articulate that. I quit my job after realising I was suicidal from the bullying. I was alone, I'd moved across the country for the job, no friends or family nearby and they took advantage of that. I quit, found better roles, I have also had the chance to be self employed and I met my now husband. It's a good news change, but she is right, the wounds are still there under the surface. Thank you to Dr Cuddy for being so open about her experience.
I hear you. So happy for the positive changes in your life.
I agree with her, most bullies are NOT compensating for insecurity, they are bullying because they’re successful doing it. I stood up to 2 bullies (excruciatingly difficult) and learned that they transformed from this confrontation, they needed the correction done skillfully, with sincerity and without vengeance
😅😢😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😅😮😮😢😅😅
Good on you it's not easy
She is right, in Africa when talking to your seniors and looks at them in the eye/ eye contact means being disrespectful; while in America means not telling the truth. Beautiful conversation, learning ❤❤❤
@@bernadettegomez3855 it probably means that you are challenging them when looking at the eyes, challenging their authority
I agree! Even when we are being bullied we are told to think about the other person or people… once again putting ourselves in a position where we can be bullied. My advice… stand up to them and then walk away. Easier said than fine and if you can’t stand up to them then just walk away ❤️
Amy, my friend, you are a delight. Thank you for your words of wisdom, I'll be re-watching this multiple times, as there's a wealth of knowledge here. I hope that you can let go of "my bullys", as they don't belong to you anymore, they can enjoy being who they are 24/7 until their terminal toxic breath. They served their function as a catalyst, they don't deserve any more attention, just walk away beautiful lady, and spread the love 😊
i noticed that too. It's better to say , "those bullies" rather than "my bullies" to detach from them.
That part when she said she almost quit grad school right before her first presentation...I FELT that! I actually shed a couple of tears as she described that. I was in that place in grad school. It was terrifying because I had bad imposter syndrome as well. Everyone else in my program had been to Ivy League undergraduate programs or was just obviously smarter than me (I thought). But I wasn't about to give up all I'd worked for up to that point so quitting wasn't an option. But it was soooo tempting. Since then (that was 30 years ago) I've learned that you do have to take tiny, baby steps. I didn't know it was called "nudging". I love that term. Just nudge yourself further toward the direction you want to go, in anything. I've been using that to get to my (almost there) dream life. It works!!
This explains why people approach me often no matter where I am. My family and friends say they always say they don't know why, but sometimes about me seem very friendly.
Whenever I feel something negative (or talk to my daughter about her feelings), I remind myself that there are all these many videos/articles, etc on these topics - and they wouldn't be so popular if many others weren't experiencing the same. So often, we look at others and think they have it all together - but I know that's not the truth, we're all dealing with something.
What a beautiful woman. She's so right about the bullies seeking to elevate their status and bring your down - I think we've all experienced that to some extent, and you never forget it how awful it is.
I believe her about the bullying. I witnessed the outcome of it where one minute her advice was going viral, and the next it was being debunked, and ridiculed. Now she's being quoted and referenced extensively by people like Andrew Huberman, and parallels being drawn between her theory, and the practice of David Goggins. Thank you for clearing up this discrepancy. This explains a lot.
My body language reflects my inner state accurately 99% of the time. I had very slouched and tense shoulders for more than a year and tried different workouts, yoga and everything. Nothing worked until I went trough a year of therapy. I don’t do any workouts at all right now and my posture is perfect. Isn’t it magic?
I don’t get it why people are not subscribing you’re already watching the show constantly and benefiting from it + You don’t have to change anything Steven or “make it better” it’s already great in my opinion
I have felt suicidal due to workplace bullying & I struggled knowing that my response was both real & irrational. When the tribe rejects you what hope do you have to survive?
It’s not something you fully recover from, but you must decide to survive it. And on confidence, I once asked my teacher how could I improve my self-esteem without inflating my ego, he wrote two words on the whiteboard ‘con’ ‘fides’ -with faith.
What is your profession, if you don't mind me asking?
I was a gardener at a big hotel when I was being bullied, I got so much positive feedback about the blooming flowers, but the head of maintenance, an ex-boson with his all male crew resented me and I suffered what is known as mobbing. Most gratifying job, because of all the positive feedback, but I couldn’t tough it out and ended up resigning, suing the dozy do-nothing employer and winning. Took years to recover I haven’t worked since.
@@MerrilyMerrilyMerrilyHow people can ruin your damn life! It makes me so angry. I am so sorry that you were treated that way.
In factory work they always team up against someone get him er her fired. It's crazy to see how tribal people are if it comes to climbing hyragy the ladder and kissing ass to the team leaders. I dont like being human because these tribes consist of retards.
@MerrilyMerrilyMerrily maybe worth looking into freeing yourself from others acceptance. Make your own acceptance enough? (Just a thought as those people not only knocked you through bullying but discounted your work and achievements too which I think can be as bad)
I love this lady. Most of what she said about bullying resonated with me. I suffered that in the corporate world but fortunately with me I pushed back. Thanks
Amy, I know exactly how you feel. I was in a tenure track position where the last year of my position when tenure review came up. I was offered to leave or stay and fight. I left as well. I had two daughters. Yes, you are right about the bullies. I could write a book about it. You are good the way you are. You are worthwhile. Love you.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 🤖 Body language is crucial, affecting mood and creativity. Half of first impressions are based on body language.
03:37 💼 Our body language communicates to ourselves and others. Changing posture and breathing can positively impact mental states.
09:44 🛡️ Many people resonate with body language topics due to imposter experiences. Body language can combat feelings of powerlessness.
12:57 🤝 Expansive body language enhances personal power and approach mindset. It leads to positive shifts in behavior and perception.
24:00 🗣️ Our self-narratives and body language are intertwined. Positive narratives and authenticity contribute to well-being and success.
25:18 🕵️♂️ Body language and spoken words should convey matching emotions for authenticity.
27:08 🦈 Authenticity is crucial in communication, even if people can't pinpoint the mismatch.
29:18 😊 Confident and warm body language is attractive in both dating and workplace contexts.
31:07 🤝 Self-affirmation exercises can help build confidence and reduce stress.
36:22 📈 Gradual improvement through small changes leads to increased confidence and positive outcomes.
48:23 👀 Cultural differences play a significant role in interpreting eye contact. Rules about eye contact vary across cultures and can affect communication.
50:16 📚 Learning to read body language is possible through resources like Joe Navarro's book "What Every Body is Saying," which provides insights into understanding people's interactions.
51:28 💼 Genuine self-confidence and personal change are more effective in improving body language and interactions than simply attempting to fake it.
54:15 ❤️ Positive signs in a couple's body language include good eye contact, expressions of curiosity, smiling when apart, leaning in, and mutual grooming signals.
57:42 💔 Experiencing bullying can deeply impact a person's self-perception, story, and overall well-being, leading to profound emotional pain and a need for personal growth and support.
01:12:19 🎓 Tenured position lost: The speaker lost a tenured position after working hard for it due to bullying and disinformation, impacting her career trajectory.
01:13:43 💔 Emotional impact: The experience of being bullied and discredited is compared to losing a loved one, leading to emotional pain and difficulty in sharing personal stories.
01:15:09 🐦 Motivations of bullies: Bullies often seek status, recognition, and resent those they perceive as receiving more than they deserve, escalating from minor actions to full campaigns.
01:19:14 🌟 Bullying and success: Highly successful individuals can become targets when their outside success surpasses their status within a group, leading to resentment and attempts to tear them down.
01:21:09 🌍 Hope for change: Understanding the psychology of bullying, early intervention by bystanders, and a shift in cultural acceptance can lead to positive change in workplaces and society.
Made with HARPA AI
First to reply to the first highest comment.
How do you do this
Thanks!😊
@@letopfrank3838 AI or not
I thank the *wise man* for his efforts.
I was thinking how and why does this person have the time to do this.. then I got to the bottom😅
What a brave and inspiring women, well done for being strong enough to get through it.
" STRONG ENOUGH "
YOU ARE RIGHT
SHE SAID
SHE HAD TO for HER
SON
THAT'S THE STRENGTH
of THE WOMB
ACCOMPLISHMENT
EVIDENCE
" HATERS " / BULLIES
TARGET MOTHERS
CARE 1ST " SOFT "
from LOVE
THEY ARE RIGHT
YET WRONG
INNER STRENGTH RISES
SURPRISING
even THEMSELVES . . .
HIGHER POWER
DEFENSE of . . .
PEACEMA' NY !
It's great to hear her talk about bullying, its awful she went through that experience, bullys are the worst people on Earth but it really helps to talk about bullying, the psychology behind bullys, what makes people targets, what makes someone a bully, through understanding these things we start to break them down and thats where change begins. Im sure most people have experienced bullying at some point in their life to some degree. Would really love to see more podcasts that focus on this subject as its so interesting.
I wish more people use the right language…..bulling = ABUSE.
OMG yes! Bullying is abuse! Character assasination is the correct term because the death is the underlying goal. Death of my participation, death of my status, death of my future. Sucking the life force out of another individual..
Bully's are hurt, damaged, (and yes, insecure) people who were taught/conditioned in the formative years of their life to act like this as a coping mechanism--as a way to survive in the atmosphere they grew up in. I have been bullied (to great extent at one point in my life, by someone who had a LOT of power and control over me), so I'm not saying this from the perspective of a bully, but from a behavioral science perspective (and experience).
That doesn't make their behavior OK or acceptable, or something we excuse, but when we understand more about why people do the things they do, it can give us a much-needed level of empathy and we can see them in a new light and act differently ourselves with that new knowledge. By that, I mean stand up to them with confidence but without becoming a bully in return, be secure in who you are, and realize that they are pathologically using bullying as a means to control the situation (and others) because thats how they learned to cope as a child.
@@mauritaschut8466 I dunno about that. Some of the bulkies I have known have just been entitled and think they are superior. Eg one was the son of a lawyer and seemed very pleased with himself. Some people are just nasty.
@alicequayle4625 Oh, I agree with you; MANY bullies have an entitled air about them and feel they are superior to others, especially the bullies that grow up in wealth/positions of power. The thing is, they've been conditioned since they were a baby to think that's an acceptable way to act, whether that is just because one or both of their parents act like that or if there's also things like abuse going on at home. They are doing what they learned.
It doesn't excuse their actions, and it doesn't mean people should just accept it. It just helps to understand why.
I've often wondered how I would've turned out if I had grown up in other people's houses. Whenever I feel really angry at someone for acting a certain way, I always make myself think about how they have been conditioned by their upbringing and life experiences to be the person they are and I ask myself if I would be any different if I was in their shoes. I would like to think I would, but how can I honestly know?
Would like to read her book because one of the reasons bullies get away with so much is because everyone excuses them instead of confronting them. We need to stop being indifferent to their targets and take a unified stand. It costs to take a stand. Time, emotional involvement to some degree, opening yourself to similar ridicule...
It's funny that Steve has pointed out something about the professional boxer that has been happening to me of late. I've been running in the morning for the last 47 days straight, the goal is 90 days straight. Even this morning I said I was going to run specific kilometers then it became painful halfway. The thought of shortening the distance crossed my mind but something sort of whispered in my mind 'you already said you were going to do this make sure you do'. I completed the distance and still went to the gym.
What an insightful episode.
Yeah, I mean you need to let your body heals and rests. Too many times I've read the stories of people who did pushups/squats/running for 90 days straight and injured themselves. Most people don't realize that recovery is growth and hardening of muscles tissues
I was also bullied in the workplace and it's had lasting affects. It's not unlike an abusive relationship. I have PTSD from it. In academic management I was a senior manager and the director bullied staff and was only satisfied when she was proven right. I eventually stepped down to a lower position to escape the public screaming and humiliation for small issues she disagreed with. She wanted me out at all costs. A year later she was summoned to a disciplinary committee for the bullying and resigned rather than face it. I'm happier in my academic position rather than in management but it has made me less confident in my abilities. I know I'm very good in the academic discipline that I specialise in and have 30 years in the classroom and getting my students into very successful careers. Just typing this makes me anxious.
Maye you should go in therapy so you can process all what happened and to close it forever? For me it feels from reading your text that it occupies you a lot more than it should do but also that you are strong enough to process all these past experiences and bring them to a hold :) I wish you the best and good health!!
The talk about bullying hit home which is something I’ve experienced as a child in the neighborhood, in school, in two jobs, in relationships, and in my family. I wonder what the body language might be that could be coming from me to be bullied throughout my life. I am generally happy when I am alone but when I interact with people I feel shut down or misunderstood. I could understand why you wanted to die. Rejection is so painful. It questions our sense of purpose and belonging. I wrote a story about my 6th grade experience and how I was face to face with my bully at my 40 year high school reunion and I chose not to bring it up to her.
The most useful piece of advice I was given before my first labour, was to smile after each contraction. This releases happy chemicals in the brain and makes you feel better and more able to cope.
What an incredible exposé on bullying. Honest, brave and so relatable. She articulated exactly my feelings from the beginning to years after the bullying has "ended". Will definitely read her book
I absolutely LOVE Amy Cuddy, her Ted Talk was one of the first I ever watched and after 10 years I still use a power pose before any interview or big event/talk I have to give. She also inspired me my thesis topic around behavioural economics. Very happy you managed to get her on the show 🤩
Nice! Also, you're pretty. :D Take care.
This was a great podcast on so many levels. Amy Cuddy is an incredible role model for showing her vulnerability and talking about the bullies. Bystanders need to stand up, because bullies lose their power when they're called out. I've seen this a lot as a lawyer in a culture with a great deal of toxic masculinity--and these frightened broken guys don't just bully confident women, they also go against good men that have obtained positions of power that the bully hasn't obtained. (It's not just guys, but the number of female bullying is lower.)
Amazing episode! There is a special place in hell for character assassins. I can relate to this difficult part of the interview, and am also still on a path of recovery from what I personally went through in that realm of bullying. Wish I could give Dr. Amy a hug! Other than that, this was such an insightful interview as usual! Keep these interviews up!
Same!!!
Same here!!
Yes. Painful. And bewildering. Eye opening
After walking on eggshells and being on thereceiving end of the smirk for many many years
Would you believe.....
It's ME that's been the *problem*. Hilarious
I gave birth to that 55years ago. My crime apparently is LOVING HIS KIDS... now adults with children. Go figure. It's a weird world indeed...
Love yourself people ❤️💜💙💕
"Wish I could give Dr. Amy a hug!" I don't, I have been bullied and all I can see in Dr Amy face/body expression is the fake that my bullies used to try and get away with playing victims ...very disturbing episode
@@BaiMengLing You must be one of the trolls from Academia who sought to ruin her life. Seen. Lol
This was one of the most amazing interviews I watched on your channel Steven ♥ I remember Amy's TED talk from many years ago and I lost count of the times I re-watched and shared with other people, even if I am actually an extrovert with loads of self-confidence... (surely carrying some self-esteem issues but shhhhh, let's not speak about that)
I cried with her when she mentioned raising her son during her dark period and I would love to send her a virtual hug and assure her that her son is going to be an amazing man one day EXACTLY because he got to see his mother raising up like a gorgeous Phoenix ♥ All my love to you and to Amy, thank you for bringing her here!
Like so many others, her bullies were obviously very envious of her. I feel that because it has also been my experience several times.
Thank you so much you are a beautiful person! I’m so sorry for what those asshole bullies did to you. I was bullied too in the workplace and was fired because of what the bullies portrayed. I so appreciate your work and your bravery. Much Love to you.
Amy is amazing. I will NEVER forget her TedTalk of "Fake it 'till you make it" ... she is so inspirational. Truly. In that TedTalk she explains how great it felt to have someone believe in her and encourage her and then one day she was able to repay that by being that muse to inspire someone else to "fake it 'till you make it" and it was beautiful to see how that made her feel. Her empathy for those that struggle is off the charts. Amy needs to realise how much she has inspired other people to keep faking it - to somehow find it within ourselves to believe in ourselves - and also to keep encouraging others to believe in themselves.
I wish Amy could understand just how much she truly is gift to all of us.
Amy will definitely leave this world a better place because of her input and impact. I wish more people could be like Amy - not just for my quality of life but also for the legacy, warmth and support for people like my son.
That bit about self talk is extremely important. I prefer the definition of character as doing the right thing when no one else is watching. When you lie to yourself, cheat yourself, rationalize not following through with yourself, it's 10 times easier to do it to others, which will feed the downward spiral of poor character and failure. You have to commit to yourself or surely no one else will.
No cure for sadness! Loss is the lens that gives anything value.
I watch your channel because you stated exactly, "I'm not here to learn tips or tricks from the outside to turn my inner side; I watch your channel to learn how to turn my inner side to become more appealing on the outside." I have also noticed a change in how I am received because of the change I made within myself to become the person that people want to be around.
Thank you for sharing your joy in self-growth with your guests because I have the same goals.
-Eric
Outstanding guest! I look forward to her coming back to talk about bullying. Bullying is not OK. It's not OK that it is tolerated. Everyone who participates actively or passively is responsible.
“My whole life changed when I actually changed”. That resonates with me so much as that is the transformation that Ive been going through this year. Its a beautiful thing 🙌🏾
Steven,
I'm sure im late to the game in terms of becoming aware of you and your work. However; I have watched your podcast for a while now and wanted you to know that as inspiring, educational, moving, or exceptional, your guests have been, I most admire you.
You exude genuine care and give focused attention to each guest. You are truly gifted in the art of intimate conversation; meaning your guests feel safe, heard, open their hearts, and share their deepest vulnerabilities with you. You reciprocate eloquently and ask the most perceptive questions. (I love the way you say "interesting" in response to a guest - even with that one word, I can feel your authentic pondering over what has just been said).
I get such a smile when I think of your beginning.... "and if you are, keep it to yourself."
LoVE YoU Steven, all the best.
Bobbie
Amy is so courageous! One can definitely feel the intensity of the bullying she was subjected to. The trauma is palpable. It’s also awful how those terrible people impacted her family. It truly seems like the work of petty and selfish narcissists. May she heal as much as possible from this cruel behavior and shine even more brightly. Those bullies need to get a life!
Amy is such an inspiring, kind woman. Everything she said comes from such a deep understanding of who we are, the work she is doing is incredibly important. I relate so much to what she said about bullying and how it feels like you're dying. It can rip you apart from your very core, sometimes it's so painful it's difficult to breathe. When I was a child, at least the bullying stopped when I was not at school. I can't fathom having it follow you everywhere now because of technology, it's truly scary to think about. Thank you so so much Amy for your important work and resilience and Steven for bringing attention to the work of all these amazing individuals and for being such and empathic listener and interviewer. This channel is beyond amazing and is changing so many lives for the better (including mine!) 🙏💕
Doctor Amy Cuddy you are superb. Your strength, knowledge and openness is inspiring. I have been a "braveheart" at least five times in my career. I always call out bullying and have then become a target. I will keep on standing up to insecure and nasty people. It is all so predictable but no one really talks about it, until now. Amy and Steven this talk is so good and insightful. You are making a huge difference to so many people.
WOW! What an incredible episode.
How inspirational to listen to someone who delivered such great knowledge from the outset but then told her story where she must have used them stories to come back from such a dark place from other’s behaviour.
Powerful, Inspirational and beautiful
this womans son grew up to be a lovely..wonderful man for his mother is a beautiful, intelligent amazingly strong woman.... stronger than she even realizes. thank you for being such a delight as well as for all the work you do and share. Time heals. As for those bullies.. they have to live with what they have done and are. that in itself is their own punishment.
Great guest facing and answering great questions. So sad the memories of the bullying still affect her to this day. My message to her would be, stay strong. Your achievements outshine those bullies.
Amy! I have not heard this story with bulling, but when you just started to talk about it in this interview, I knew immediately that it was about envy. You know, some people like to live among stars and some have to extinguish them. I remember your TED lecture and I remember you. Your lecture was impressive and your research results very important regardless the position you were occupying. Thank you for have dared to talk in TED and have presented your results !🙏🤛🤝
I had an experience when people who were supposed to be my mates could not stand me getting successful. I separated from them, thanks God, I was not depending on them. But I think I still was damaged and I am afraid to get success.
This is for me clearly an episode I will rewatch. Dr Cuddy has said so many truths, I by the way love her body language, so wholesomely elegant. I first read a book on body language when I was 9. Often forget about body language, but seeing this episode has made me see so many things in my life....and made me smile a lot (ofc not when she is sharing about this extremely tough period of her life)Thank you for conducting and sharing with us all this amazing interview.
When we affectionately dub CZcams as the "CZcams University," your channel, Steven, easily stands out like the Ph.D. program in that analogy. As a book enthusiast and avid podcast listener, I've absorbed an incredible amount of knowledge from your content. One of the reasons you're so impressive is your understanding that wisdom isn't just about having answers-it's about asking the right questions. You're a pro at being a good listener and turning that into thought-provoking questions that help extract insights from your guests' minds.
During my travels, especially those long flights, your podcast is my top choice to download on my phone to use the time more properly. Keep up the fantastic work, my friend, and continue to provide us with more enriching content.
Cheers! 🤗
Thank you for this podcast. I’m at my dream job and it’s hell. I’m so scared I’ll have to give it up. I’ve been suicidal, I’m always thinking I’m unloveable or stupid or something is wrong with me. I UNDERSTAND WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE AFRAID TO SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE OF THE RETALIATIONS I MIGHT FACE!!! Everything little thing could be misconstrued. I love you and you have my support, for what it’s worth. You’ve made me feel less alone❤
Really enjoying this. Only 35 min in . Refreshing to hear two professionals comment on toxic positivity (not that they label it as that) the whole, just change just change your mindset - it will work out - no its deeper than that and peoples feelings and experiences are valued. It sometimes feels impossible to change your mindset when things are tough!
What an episode! Amy’s assessment of the strategies used by bullies and the rationale is insightful. Cut a person down to size emotionally/psychologically, conveniently to the size that makes them feel comfortable to tip power balance in their favour. Never knew in the psychology sphere the term ‘haters’ is used, what a revelation, that’s a street term as far as I knew! A concise but accurate descriptor nonetheless. Through such a candid recounting of her experience, Amy is unknowingly changing lives. Can do better, I should say so indeed.
Self-improvement and self-reflection is what humbles, you can signpost or steer a person in that direction. Dragging a person down the path will provide you with bully status and /or the recipient will additionally embarrass you with their strength. Humble those saying they’re humbling you. People don’t always respond to bullying in the way you might traditionally expect, I’ve been there on the receiving end with an atypical reaction. Amy and family, keep prevailing!! ❤ Steven and DOAC keep on bringing this phenomenal content ❤
She radiates warmth, intelligence, kindness, and beauty. We love you Amy❤❤❤
My heart just felt that pain of bullying. It caused me to be stagnant for so long and not believe in myself. I am so grateful for humans that are speaking up and changing their life regardless of their situation. So inspiring
I walked over hot coals once for a charity event.
The training session before had us doing strong poses and shouting positive comments out loud. It was the biggest buzz of my life I felt invincible afterwards
Workplace bullying is not talked about openly enough. It is like school bullying. Colleagues can be bystanders. Bosses (like teachers and school administrators) who are aware but don't take enough action on it are bystanders. And many executives and other bosses encourage it and engage in it themselves. Covert bullies know how to make the behavior look like "office politics" while they affect the careers and livelihoods of their targets. Sometimes, it seems that they attack the people who they think are very competent, who could potentially be a competitive threat. Knock them out of the picture, and you can look pretty great and advance.
I watched every episode on this channel 😅😀😀 never stop please literally my favourite thing on CZcams ❤️❤️❤️
Ditto! ❤
Same!
Concentrated on Negativity like CEO + most of interviewed?
My earliest memory of being bullied was 4 years old.,.. in Woolies with my mum.. it carried on throughout my childhood, ranging from name calling, to stones being thrown, spat on etc etc.. it went on and on and on. Even at the age of 20 I couldn’t walk to my parents home without 3 brothers shouting abuse. I’m fat, and that’s what everyone problem was. I am now 49.. still fat.. but now i know my worth. It’s s shame I had to go through it, and also, what makes this all so bizarre is that i was bullied in the place of work, because i was popular and did a great job and my female supervisor hated me for it.. so would go out of her way to make me look bad., Passing snide comments. Today, I am still so stunned that people are so offended by someone simply carrying more weight than them
People aren't offended. People just don't take overweight people seriously. Look at almost every comedy movie's main character, it's a slob. It's crazy how in 49 years you could've fixed the issue in 6 months but chose not to.
Doctor Amy Cuddy was my first and all-time favorite TED talks. Thank you Stephen for the great interview.
Im not the whole way through the video yet but a lot of what she is saying has been stuff that I have been working on myself with for roughly 3 years now. I went from a confident and outgoing person to someone who was unable to walk and could not go out due to a huge lack of confidence. Over that period, I started to look at myself and what I wanted from myself and life in general. Slowly improving on my posture and self perception, I now feel substantially more confident and dead set on my goals in life.
The big part was building that confidence back in myself and not through the gratification of others. Its made me substantially more grounded and Im genuinely happy and content with life now.
Wow, I do all these things subconciously. Explains my high level of energy and zest for life despite many adversities.
Finally, someone else in the world who realises that just putting a positive affirmation in place is unlikely to work!
What should they do?
@@xyz-pg3zd In my work, I work with 'bridging phrases' (the steps from the most negative toward the more positive belief). E.g. If you feel you are worthless, you could say as a bridging belief "I want to work toward feeling more worthy. I want to start looking for ways that indicate that I have value, even if I just feel positive toward myself for getting out of bed today". And so on. HOpefully that helps?
Subscribed. This episode was so needed. I have a learner I'm working with, and her core curiosity is body language. Nonverbal communication. It is a blessing that my job is to facilitate learners going after any topic they choose, which is only possible because we can access resources such as this high-quality interview. Thank you Steve and Amy! - Dom, Founder, Off Da Beaten Path Learning
Stephen I really enjoy your podcast! This is such a golden nugget I can’t believe I found! It’s a pure pleasure to listen to you and watch you interview your guests. The kindness and sympathy that you show through your body language cannot be faked. And so it makes me believe that you are an amazing person and I’m truly happy to have stumbled upon your channel!! I’ve been sharing almost every podcast I listened to! Certainly subscribed and definitely getting the book! ❤😊
Have a situation with family that is bullying painful to coverup their issues… I understand. Truth does not always set us free when others promote lies that serve them. ❤️❤️❤️ so sorry. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone.
Congrats you got the book done! Stay strong.
I have long admired this remarkable woman for her significant contributions to social psychology and for the invaluable insights I've gained from her TED talk videos. They have taught me a great deal. I truly empathize with her for enduring harassment and bullying.
Amy, you're amazing! Your bullies are just jealous of your success.
iv'e come to realize most people aren't jealous(they don't want to be you) rather they do not want you to be happy...😊
It's horrible how society allows bullies to get away with "murder".
WE ARE NOT A SOCIETY YET
FORCE UPON THE PEOPLE
" SUBJECTS "
THE DECLARATION NOT READ
ONLY THE CONSTITUTION
IN USURY "3/5 " LIE
VS
TRUTH
" 3 / 5 " WAS A HEAD COUNT
for CAMPAIGN ADVANTAGE
3 OUT OF 5
EQUAL CHANCE TO WIN
MILITARY POLICE
NOT IN ANY SOCIETY
DOMESTIC TERRORISTS
CAUSING STROKES
& HEART ATTACKS
" SHOCK "
SOCIAL ENVIRAMENT
CRUEL INDIFFERENCE
TO NEWS
98 YEARS MATURE
HOUSE OWNER
MOTHER
and DAUGHTER
NOT by a bugler
by " POLICE " !
that intro transition from the guest in tears about being bullied and causing fear and suicidal thoughts to the host talking about his subscribers was insane.
felt insinere and sociopathic. imo
Thank you so much for the talk 💖 I never thought any one one would ever understand my point of view about adult bullying in the work place…this conversation means so much to me! I hope we can all learn from this
I finally got my brother off the streets after 17+ years because of being removed from his job he couldn't get over it. He's only 63 and has completely lost himself. At least my mom who is an immigrant, went through hell to come to America for us to have a better life, is no longer crying knowing her first born is being taken care of by me. I feel your pain, bulling must stop with the bully, NOT by the victims!!!!
I’m sure it was very stressful having your brother on the street. My uncle has been homeless a few times. He is now living with a few roommates in Florida. I wake up happy knowing he has shelter and companions. I send him groceries every month through instacart. These simple things bring a lot of peace.
That was so interesting, thank you! I actually work quite often with my clients on the influence of their extra weight on their body language (and vice-versa). When you've been overweight for a while, it usually affects your body language and it becomes some kind of a persona. And that can make the weight loss more complicated if one is not aware of it.
I emigrated at the age of sixteen yers old to London uk 🇬🇧 to become an hairstylist for Toni and Guy . After not even 5 years ( I learned to speak and write English, ) I was the top taker hairstylist in central London “angel Islignton “ …. I being through thicks and thin’s … I really really would like to write a book to share my experiences and what I learned through all my relationships and people that I met in this beautiful city ! .
I believe that words goes with wind and what you do or write stays forever. Everyone should imagine if we where all deaf ‘ we would learn more about people body language and expression!!! , we would value actions that people do to each other’s!
Lesson is dont buy into other peoples insecurities or whatever else theyre experiencing. If you know youve done the work then thats all that truly matters. I"d never let anyone affect my dreams.
It’s so interesting that he seems so skeptical of her, initially, pushing her in certain ways. That’s the body language that I am reading. She’s doing her best to ignore those signals and stay positive, and it seems like he’s more convinced as the interview progresses, but it is very pronounced from the very first moments.
Interesting.
Yes, adopting different body language and practicing it can indeed be a form of practice that can help change your mindset over time
Body language is incredibly important as it tells us what the other person really thinks what they feel versus what they are saying
Working so hard to achieve so much over so many years, only to have someone take that away is bad enough but it's the love of your industry and the future opportunities that are destroyed is what hurts the most and is the hardest to repair and recover from. TY for your openness, it helps those who feel that they are not the only ones dealing with a similar situation.
What a beautiful, enlightening, and healing podcast! I hope and pray she will heal well from the academic bullying she experienced as this is obviously traumatic for anyone to suffer.
Omg!!! This what I needed to hear! With major anxiety about speaking in front of people and constantly pushing myself to get over this phobia....this is what I needed to hear! Thank you for this convo!! I loved you both during this your question her answers!❤
Body language is powerful towards those who don't know u, but towards those who already got there first impression of u, it does not merit much change...
Dr. Amy’s bang swoop is serving 👌
Just wonderful 😊 I've been thinking along similar lines, especially the dialog, promises, gratitude with "self" and it comes from within us. Getting ourselves into a good place allows us to help others because we are strong enough to give
I needed this right now. I have noticed my posture is terrible during times of stress. Looking foward to more of your content, brilliant interviews, always interesting, motivating and helpful 😊
I have also suffered the abuse of bullying in the workplace that has rendered me marginalized and defamed making it impossible for me to get a job. Please direct me to more discussions on this and please enable a forum in which we could share our experiences and resolutions to this very real, escalating and devastating problem. I'm here, honey. I've survived it and while I struggle financially, I have prevailed and survived what it sounds like you have encountered. Boy, I feel you. Please let me hear you and impart what I did that got me through it.
I appreciate Amy’s authenticity. I can relate. I was bullied at home and at work. It does take time to heal from that. It leaves a mark. Love prevails. By tearing otters down, bullies keep themselves in a low vibration and hurt themselves. We move forwards, heal with our tribe and live better lives away from toxic energy. We get to live with self-respect, respect from our community and the vibration of Love (inspiring, empathizing with and uplifting others).
Great interview. The bullying segment really hit me hard. I had a similar experience, and wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Lovely episode ❤thank you
I love that this interview felt like to people talking about past hurts, how they healed and what they learnt. Thanks Steve!
You’re awesome Dr. Amy, thanks for being vulnerable, and verifying everything I believed, and keep doing what your doing you sweet soul! I believe in you! Don’t let the haters get you down, they prey on conscious, kind, intelligent, beautiful women.
Hang in there!!! Everything you have done, is huge! And it’s still there! And you have helped humanity progress!
Thank you for your work!!! New doors will open to you!!! Times are changing!
She explains the DETAILS @ 1:15. WOW ! She went through so much and still does.
Great honest intersection. This lady is so brave her words and as a result of her actions she is who she is today. So inspirational.
Well done. 🦋
I subscribed ages ago when I was part way through the first interview I watched 💕 love your work!
Plus for those still reading;
You saved my life Steve 🌺
I come from a family of bullies, and yes, they have tried to rewrite my life. Many still believe them, but the truth will eventually filter out and then they will look far worse than they ever made me look. The better we become the more they double down. It's a struggle, but how you carry yourself can make a huge difference.