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My 15-Year-Old Niece Just Had a Baby… (What Should We Do?)
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- čas přidán 17. 11. 2020
- My 15-Year-Old Niece Just Had a Baby… (What Should We Do?)
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Why does the aunt think its HER decision? It's not up to you
She’s the adult. It’s her decision and not the decision of the 15 year old child.
Legally an aunt in law doesn't have any standing m○ron. (message to Mike not the OP).
@@miketheyunggod2534 the baby is still hers. Legally the 15 year old has rights.
Even if it's not the minor's decision it still wouldn't be the sun's. She's a spectator here.
I think it's terrible that they want to adopt her baby but won't help her out. She's a kid herself. You're going to traumatized her taking her baby.
The woman might not realize what she's doing with the idea of wanting to take the baby. Sometimes people think that teens who have babies kind of become adults themselves (not true! But it is a subconscious expectation that more people than you might realize have) And so maybe things that the teen mom can take care of herself? Of course that's not how this actually works, But the ant who wants to take the baby might not know what she's doing. So, I want to assume it's not malicious and give her a little bit of grace even though she really does need to be corrected in her ignorance.
I can't stand people like her. Everyone wants a cute little baby but don't want to help older kids. The baby and the mom are kids.
Well I think its wonderful of her to offer the baby a life that two 15year old can't. Once you have a kid it's not about you anymore, the baby takes priority. The aunt is helping the baby.
Exactly. They want to steal her baby. They don't want to help
@@MaleahsDiary exactly!!!
Okay so I'm just being completely honest here, but this call really annoyed me. In my point of view it seemed as if the caller was looking for John to cosign on her idea of adopting this baby as her own. Not once did she talk about her niece and how her mental state is and what her dreams and her goals are, nor did she talk about what her niece wanted to have in mind for her baby. She threw a lot of stones at different family members without giving any type of situation that would be good enough for the baby other than her adopting.
It seems as if this woman just wants the baby as her own and wants to write the niece out of the life without saying it. John did a good job with what information he had available to him but I really wish he would have asked more about the niece and what her plans were and if this aunt would allow the niece to take the baby back in a few years when she has her life grounded. Way too many things missing but I don't believe the caller was sincere in anything that she was saying other than wanting the baby as her own, for good.
Thank you! I hated that he said call the authorities if needed because iits obvious that is all she will be doing😡
You can't hear it but I'm applauding you right now. Thank you for your insight.
@@wandamajette5000 ahh thank you! I'm just being honest. I know 15 is very young for a teenager to raise a child, but with the right support I believe that this baby can have a shot and the mother, the REAL mother, can grow as a better person and a mother herself with the right help. one thing that annoyed me was that the one aunt who wanted to take The baby in and help raise her seem to be doing it with other family members. This caller didn't seem to like that though since of course one elusive family member is allegedly abusive. This caller also conveniently mentioned that she lives far away aka mother would probably never see the baby again. You can tell a lot by a person just by the words they use. This is a short segment into a more complicated story but it seems like her agenda was nefarious. The vibe was way off I didn't like it at all. Thank you for your comment!
It was giving me 'The Handmaid's Tale' vibes! Think she wants to steal this healthy baby and get rid of the mother
Agreed
how about this lady mind her own business, Im lost already! What does the grandparents want on both sides? What do the young parents want..............wayyyyyyyyyyyy toooooooooo manyyyyyy chiefs in this kitchennnnnnnnnnnn
I'm betting the caller has fertility problems. She's making it messy because it sounds like she's trying to steal the baby.
Support and teach the teen to be a good Mom if she will learn (and a lot of teen moms will, it just takes a lot of time and work and loving them ). I've been doing work with teen moms for a while - they can learn and it's not just the baby you got to think about it's the baby who had the baby that you also need to think about.
The way to test the theory of if she wants to steal the baby or actually support, is to ask the question would you take in the teen and the teen's baby (not the boyfriend) and teach this young mom and help and support this young mom.
@@DogmaGirlAD absolutely
Steal the baby? I’m not getting that vibe and I’m sensitive to situations like this.
@@kiethmergard maybe not intentionally a steal the baby situation, But it's very easy for people to get into a mindset of rescuing babies and not really thinking about the good of the mother as much (which ultimately has a huge impact on the babies well-being even if the baby isn't with the Mama). I think it's well-intentioned naivety, But I wouldn't be terribly surprised if it is layered with some amount of fertility issues (Even if that's something main reason it can play more of a role than we might think, but who knows, everybody needs to slow down and really actually explore what's best for baby and Mama)
@@kiethmergard so the thing that was alarming to me is that she doesn't seem concerned about the mother.
I am so sick of how predatory these women get. Just be honest. You want to steal a baby.
I would love to know what the 15-year-old girl wants. If she wants to keep her baby, she gets to keep her baby. If she wants to give it up for adoption, with the way this whole situation sounds it seems like it would be better to do a private adoption not with the family. There's already too much drama.
And where is this girl's mother/father?
Seems to me that this aunt is just making all these judgments and plans for this baby without including the mother. She has no right to this baby. I hope she knows that.
So, what does the 15 year old want?
She doesn’t get a vote.
Very sad
Exactly, that’s why she got pregnant in the first place. The consequence of over controlling parents.
She should put the baby up for adoption but not with a family member. That would be too close.
To be fair. If I raised my child to 15. And I didn't want another child. I wouldn't want the responsibility put on me. So 15 year gets a vote but not the only vote. This grandbaby changes the entire family. The whole family will have to pay for child care so the girl can continue school.
So aunt is being judgemental without being any real support to the teen mother without caring what the mother wants. 🙄
she just wants the baby. i think she's just looking for his approval/input on how to bully family & teen mom into giving it up to her.
@@nobleinthought8019 absolutely! It's absolutely disgusting that she would clearly exploit a young child as she likes to put it who is in such a vulnerable position but still clearly wants to be viewed as some savior
I'm so confused of the callers position?
There's alot of missing information here.
Yup
From what I can understand, the 15 year old is her husbands niece, not hers. She is comining across as very selfish. She just wants the baby.
She could easily help her niece and her baby until the niece is in a postion to live independently. They do not need to help the boyfriend.
I think she is too concerned with issues that don't involve her per say. Because that's her husband's niece and so your a in-law. She is not noble just a noisy person in my opinion.
So? At least the baby would have a chance
Why doesn’t the 15 year old just start home school get the fed / get a job on the weekends until 16 then get a job for more hours maybe the boyfriend parents have some sense....just cause ur underage don’t mean you gotta get rid of it
Getting a job in this economy is not that easy. And getting one that only allows you to work on the weekend may be even harder
@@likelovetothelost in my town every business I go to has now hiring signs my job is desperate for help people just don’t wanna work now might not get they 60000$ job but a 10$ per hour job can be had same day
@@TheMechanicj that’s your town and not the economy at large. Also a big thing with jobs sometimes is reliable transportation. Does she even drive?
What does the mother of the baby want? She's had a lot of time to think about what to do. She may want to keep the baby for herself but keep the option on the table for adoption because things absolutely will get very difficult.
I think the caller said the young mom doesn't know what to do with the baby. I think she wants him to say "Fight and get that baby away from the teen"
This woman caller wants the baby or is just the type to stick her nose in everyone’s business. Something isn’t right here, she isn’t telling the whole story.
My 11 year old still plays with dolls and dreams of being a pop star. I can't imagine her becoming pregnant in 3 years. Breaks my heart for this young lady. 💔
Why is nobody asking what this young teen wants. Everyone is trying to steal her baby.
Although this lady sounds nice this just doesn’t sound right. Her sole interest is in the baby. The first thing in my mind is how can i SUPPORT BOTH MOTHER AND CHILD. The mother is only 15 yes, but that on its own doesn’t make her a bad mother. In a few years she will be an adult, she might want to keep her baby, who adopts the child if that will ever happen is not up to the caller!. Don’t be so selfish and help the girl out! Be a role model.
Thank you. There doesn't seem to be a lot of thinking individuals in this thread. This girl is not the first teenage mom. Give her support, she and the baby will have challenges (welcome to the real world) but they'll be fine. Pray!!
Agreed. And she doesn’t mention at all what the mother wants for her baby. Adoption is a beautiful gift BUT that is if the mother is the one solely making that decision for her baby. If they are pushing her to adopt the baby out that will cause extreme psychological trauma and most likely create big time issues down the line....
I feel the caller is too immature to handle this situation. Sounds like she wants a baby of her own.
The young parents are still the parents, they were free to have an abortion, but they chose to completely carry out the pregnancy. These kids really need a safe place. They’re scared and confused.
I was 15 when I got pregnant. It wasn't easy but I did everything I could to ensure we would make it. Now she's 15 yrs old, the same age I was when I found out I was pregnant with her and I can't imagine her in that kind of situation.. The sacrifice required of a teen mom is absolute selflessness. The amount of ridicule, unwanted opinions and judgment received from loved ones and strangers is enough to drive a mother to tears.
How did you repay who financially supported you and your kid?
Incomplete conversation. What happens when the teen becomes an adult and wants to take her baby and move out? What if the teen has another baby?
It’s likely it’ll happen again
One why aren’t her parents supporting her! She’s 15 and totally wrong due to her being a minor... sicking to hear that her parents are telling her this and this... this whole situation should be something that was communicated before this child was even born. But if this is going to happen you need to have legal documents! Or maybe just as mentioned take her in help her and the baby.. but ask your niece what she wants. She needs to have a say in what is happening with her child
I got a feeling she's not.tellinh the whole truth sounds like everyone is supporting both kids but she thinks she's holyer than though .
She talks painfully slow and doesn’t give insight.
So
Because she's finding it hard to say she wants to steal the baby but doesn't want to take in the Mom.
She's maddening. Everything is drama, but no context. And so slooooow.
Exactly like spit it out. And kept saying “um”
If she's not close to the 15 year old niece, I would say forget it, nothing but complications and problems await you. She sounds somewhat distant from the family, like her and her husband consciously chose to not go down the same path of a broken home. I'm super close to my niece and nephew and would take them in a sec, both them and the baby. Best of luck to the young couple and baby. Life can be so hard sometimes, but we can get through anything.
The caller kind of annoyed me! Why is nobody trying to help her instead they're trying to take her baby.
People seem to forget that adoption brings trauma with it, too. This young mother has not even been given a chance to try her best to raise her child. Family members should help her be the best mamma she can be for this child. They would help a new born child, but not a 15 year old child?! That's also how it is with kids in the system, too. Why are we failing our teens? The question should be, how can I help this young mamma be the best version she can be. As children, we want the best for our parents. That baby would want her mamma to be taken in, too. If you were in that position, wouldn't you also want safety for your mom?
Dad and his side of the family might have something to say too. If they invite mom and baby into the dad's home, it's done for this caller and their goal to get the baby. "make your move" is exactly the right description. I hope mom keeps control of the baby and works through these vultures. I got the impression the mom's parents offered adoption or the street. Tough call at 15 to tell all the adults in your life to stand down. Maybe she'll find a social worker to champion her, set up services, etc. Caller wants to get the baby and drop contact with these "broken homes", that's not how adoption works nowadays.
Things have changed in just a short 100+ years. My Italian great grandma was 14 when she was married (arranged marriage, man was supposed to marry her older sister but she ran away), then was 15 when my grandma was born. (Great grandma was born March 1901, grandma was born November 1916. Great grandma passed sometime in 1999, grandma passed in November/December 2010.)
The caller in baby’s aunt sounds kind of snooty.
Its pretty unhelpful to just say there is a "drug addict" without explaining what that means. It could be a situation where there are needles lying around... or it could just be a pothead. The person could be going to meetings, or their addiction could be rapidly spinning out of control. I get the feeling she doesn't really know because she was concerned about this addict being violent to a child event though that has never happened before.
If someone will be violent towards pets, they will be violent towards children. I wouldn't risk it.
I have a strong hunch it's not just a pothead.
She did explain that the person had hurt animals. A person who does that is not far from hurting children.
@@IreneZGoodman Sounds like you are willing to be just as uninformed as the caller... and jump to conclusions without proper information.
So are they able to maybe move in with the boyfriends parents? Sounds like boundaries are being over stepped! My mom was 15 when she had me and still stayed at home. and I was 17 when I had my first child also and moved into my boyfriends/fiancés parents house. I could have stayed home also. But I would rather parent with him since he was the dad and we planned a future together. Been married for 27 years to him and we had 5 beautiful daughters!
Please tell me you learned from yours/your mom's past and actually put your daughters on birth control.
damn 5 girls in a row that's a 3% chance
I'm a foster parent, there are Fosters, who only foster, pregnant girls till they're 18.
Why is everyone thinking about what to do with the baby? The girl has the right and responsibility yo decide what to do!? Why is this being a huge issue!? My parents had their first child when my mom was 15 and father was 17. By the age of 23, my mom had 3 kids in total already and none of us had any problems...
Bc this isn't a 3rd world country nor is it the 1900s. Children having children is unacceptable
Teenage boyfriend, when he turns 18, should join the military. Easily the financially best decision, in terms of career, healthcare, etc.
I believe the military does not take you if you already have children and not married
@@ceciliapreziose3783 speaking as a veteran (2013-2017), that is not correct. Couldn’t tell you how many guys I know that have had kids under these exact circumstances
@@ceciliapreziose3783 maybe in a different country?
As a foster care and adoption trainer/advocate, this is so cringy. The mother of this baby is a child and needs support to keep her baby, not to have family members trying to take her baby. So many steps need to be taken before this happens. There were so many elements missing from this story. I hope she finds an adoption competent therapist who can help with this situation because this is how trauma is perpetuated in families. Kinship adoption is not just like here is a baby, now raise it as your own. Please do not say this. 🙄
I knew off the bat this caller wants the baby but not to help the mother of the child.
I feel like she just wants to steal the baby for whatever reason (maybe she can't have them herself).
Not everyone clearly listened to the caller, they do not live near the mother (15yr old) and baby.
My concern is that the caller is an in-law and not biologically connected to this family who the now teen mom and baby will be living, I'm guessing the new dad as well. And speaking of new dad, where do his parents fall into this?? You can't tell me they would automatically allow this child to be adopted out without a say.
Sad situation all around, not sure how this will or should be played out, only time will tell.
No, support the mom. Let her raise her own baby. Give her support. Why subject this innocent baby to more family drama and twisted family secrets later in life. Support the mom in supporting her child. All new moms need support, so support her. If a family member adopts the baby that person will need support also. Is it because she's so young that no one wants to help her. Besides she needs to learn responsibility now. Again I say, support the young mom. Unfortunately it seems that the entire family structure needs a great deal of help. Perhaps the father's family can and should be supportive also.
She sounds as though she has a say in what happens to this child. The only say she has is to offer to adopt the baby and let the pieces fall where they may. Sad but true.
My niece had a child at 16. She is finishing school. Her folks and the babys father and all of us help babysit.
The caller should also get the opinions of now grown, fifteen year old mom and dad's who have seen the process through.
Dr. D handled this masterfully I must say
This is a messy situation no matter what . But ultimately it’s the young moms decision.
Disgusting. You want a shiny new baby, but arent willing to help your niece?
I say mind your business. My mom had me at 15 years old and she was a great mother. Sounds like you just want to use her age as excuse to take the baby.
A 15 year old having a baby! Of course the call is coming from Florida. Why am I not surprised...
😂😂😂😂😂
🤣
God gave the 15 year old the baby. Not the "caller" who sounds like she just wants a baby. It is time to help and support the new mother not kick her while she's down. And if the boyfriend is still around well they both just got adulthood handed to them. It is time to set boundaries and responsibilities.
John uses such nice words to describe this train wreck
There are soooo many services that can assist this young girl. Every child born into the world may not have the married parents with the nanny and nursery waiting for them but that doesn't mean they don't have value. Let the concerned caller show her niece what a loving and supportive family looks like. This is true family, not you had a baby too young so I'm gonna take the baby and raise him/her as my own. And you pick up the pieces of you life some kinda way. NAH.
Super judgmental on not allowing them both to move in. Why not allow them to move in, set their lives up, and start off on a good foot? Why not support them getting married and building a family?
Help is the sunny side of control. They just want the baby.
Shes not even family its her husbands family
Why is it her business?
This whole situation was avoidable from the get-go. But, I'm hoping they can work it out as a village.
Did anybody ask the mother if she wants to keep her baby? It seems everybody is talking about the baby as if the mother wasn't there...
Anyone else not surprised this caller is from Flordia?
If the baby is in a drug environment than report to cps
Hopefully Dr. Deloney would speak up himself, he’s a mandated reporter.
The caller's halting way of speaking is very disconcerting.
I would not get involved with this. Especially if its not my child, its her mess I'll pray for her and let her decide on her own. Not my kids not my problems. I would not take them. I would love and support them from afar.
Give the couple some guidance let them move in with you for awhile then they move out when they have jobs and are getting their GED or something.
That’s actually a good idea. They can also take turns to take care of the baby. They can also go to community college.
There is so much missing information here that it's difficult to form a good opinion on this situation. The most important question to ask: What are the life goals of the 15-year-old mother and her boyfriend? Do they want to raise the child or do they feel like they're too young to be parents? Maybe they really want to be parents, but the adults in their lives are forcing them into decisions that they really don't want. Where are the boyfriend's parents (biological grandparents of the baby) in all of this, and how do they feel? Are they capable of helping raise their grandchild and helping their son? That would be a more logical approach, instead of the teen and her baby moving far away from the rest of their biological family. Unless the situation is truly toxic all-around? Or is the SIL just being judgemental? SIL doesn't live near them, she says, and it sounds like she doesn't have first-hand information about the whole situation to make a good well-thought out decision.
Two 15 year olds cannot go out on their own. They can't even get an apartment. Of her parents are kicking her out, they are not going to pay for one, either.
I’m not going to assume anything of this couple in terms of personality, past actions,attitude, etc.. not going to assume this mother is a danger to her child (abusive in any way, etc). I’m going to assume this couple wants to keep their baby and make this work and want to be the best parent to their child that they can be and raise their baby.
With strong loving familial support, it is possible for these 15 year olds to raise their child. My best friends parents did it. And 18 years later her younger sister had to do it and is still doing it. My mom and 2 other siblings all became parents at the age of 17/18. Had it not been for a strong family support backing them and telling them they can do it, they still could’ve done it, but obviously it would’ve been a lot harder.
It seems like the caller is in their means to take them in. Although I wouldn’t allow the boyfriend to move in, I would take the mother and baby in and teach this young teenager how to take RESPONSIBILITY for her actions and show her how to become a good and loving mother. They’re children who you say have no guidance. GIVE them guidance then. Show them what good parents look like. Unless these parents are an absolute danger to the baby and totally and recklessly irresponsible, I would try to keep this family together. It can work. If it didn’t, the government would be taking babies away from their teenage parents the second it it was born.
You need to recognize who you are speaking to, she does not have the family's best interest at heart . she will only create problems for all involved ! for at least the next 18 years.
I feel like I'm missing some information here. For example, where are the parents of this teen girl? And BF's parents, too. Caller said the girl might go out on her own, are her parents and BF's parents kicking them out?
She is 15, in a few years she will graduate from high school. What she should do is take some parenting classes 3 days a weeks to prepare herself. And do what she can so she doesn't become a single parent.
Judgment doesn't allow you to all of a sudden become Noble in rescuing this baby and putting in conditions for the teen mom/teen dad. SMH.
This feels very predatory
There are programs to help support teen moms and to teach them skills to become better parents. This is one of the first things that you should be looking at for not just the baby but also the baby's mama. And maybe get some professional help for this teen mom as well. She's going to have to learn some lessons pretty quick and just taking the baby away from her is not the solution - taking her with the baby to help mentor her, maybe. But, while I love adoption, you got to think before you just run down that road and recognize how this is going to impact that teen mom and that baby years from now.
If it does end up being best that you adopt the baby (I'm guessing not, But if it is) then you also have to check in with and really work to support that 15-year-old. Because if this environment really isn't safe for the baby, is it safe for the 15-year-old?
What do these siblings in law have that is better than either set of grandparents??
15 year olds have been having babies since begining of time et the mom keep her and givve her help as she needs it
This isn't ok. Asking to adopt the baby to the parents of the girl but not the girl herself who by the way is the mother of the child....not ok. It just feel like you wanna steal that bb, sorry it is not ok. Like ok it is for "saving" the bb, but did you think about the mom here? What it will do to her to see her bb raised by her aunt? What do you plan for the future of the baby (telling him/her the truth about her mom/letting the mom see her baby or just taking the bb and leave)? That are the stuff you need to think about, because it is for saving the baby OK, but it is also for helping the mom to do what is best for her baby not just steal her baby away from her.
Yo this caller sound 15 🤣
What do you mean what you should do. Keep it and raise it.
15 is too young to be a parent, but she will eventually grow up and may want the child back when she does.Chances are the caller will become attached to the baby and things will get difficult later on.
Yea I don't think this caller has any intention of giving the baby back.
That kid would be between 2 and 4 by the time the mother/father turns 18, 19, 20 and decides they are ready to take the child. That would destroy the child to be removed from their loving environment and from the people they considered their parents and source of safety/security. It is either take in mother+child to help her raise the child in a stable environment, or permanent adoption. What the mother/father need is unselfish and honest guidance so they can make the right decision that they will not regret for the rest of their lives.
Show her what she can accomplish has a young woman what she is missing has a teenager she will enjoy it when she dose it right
Tough situation. I think it will have to be up to the 15 year old but she should be presented with all of the concerns and things she may face in the future with each path. Then the caller will have to accept the decision if it's not with her
There is information missing. However, I think the best option for the baby is for the mom to do an open adoption. I say this because mom isn’t getting any support from her parents if they want to kick her out on her own at 15. Her extended family doesn’t sound great. This would also allow her to see her child grow and perhaps have a relationship later on. Second opinion in to keep the child. Although how this would work without the parents support, I wouldn’t know. I don’t trust this lady. The best option is an open adoption.
My family would have supported the mom, dad, and child until they could take care of themselves.
So she wants the baby is basically what I’m hearing and is mad that people won’t agree
They made adult decisions and now they need to be adults. The baby should be adopted & the kids be allowed to be kids. Hard lesson learned
I would just adopt legally the baby so that no one can take the baby from me down the line.
More complicated when you actually go through the process. There will be many many obstacles to adopt that baby.
Why can't the same people who care so much about the baby care about the mom and give her support in raising the baby. Let the mom (and the dad) see the responsibility required in having children.
@@laurenalmeyda6916 it's piece of paper and $400 court fee this way.
@@alexlewis8143 I would predict it would be more complicated with the family.
So when the manipulated 15 year old loses her baby grows up there is no way she can get her kidnapped child back?
Adopt the baby ask mother if she wouldconsider
This woman is vague......
And the situation isn't really that emotional. Just deal with it. No biggie.
I think it's emotional because she wants the baby for herself and doesn't seem too interested on getting her niece help.
This is awful. The baby should have his dad around. If the dad isn't allowed to stay with them she'll become a single mom at 15
you dont need to live together to be parents
Hire a Lawyer for this one, get everything in writing. Protect yourself... The next boyfriend may have a different direction and of course she will listen to him..
How sad. It's not your place to be involved, unfortunately.
I know a gal who's oldest daughter had I think five kids from two guys and never married either one of them. She's now living with the mother.
The younger daughter had two kids but at least lived with the father of the kids but they're living in the basement of his parents.
It s not such a big deal to have a baby in the age of 15. My two classmates had babies in that age and they are totally fine. The most important thing is responsibility for kids.
Well, having a baby at 15 isn't responsible lol (unless it was forced) but I see where you're going.
She's your Niece, none of your business
Sounds like the caller wants the baby. Hmm... ulterior motive ...
You should do nothing, it's not your business or your decision. Nothing good ever happens when you stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Sounds like this woman just wants a baby, maybe she should talk to her husband about that, lol. They aren't even considering the boyfriend's family side in this, you don't get to just take someone's baby because you want to.
Hows it a noble desicion to steal a baby from a 15yr old whos not even out of the hospital
Dang I feel for young people that age hving a kid, they’re way too young. I’d say the baby should be put up for adoption, but that’s just my opinion
How about leaving the baby with her mother and go move in with the daddies family. Make them responsible for their actions.
It sickens me that everyone else wants to decide for the young mother. Just stay out of it. Offer support, but thats about it.
this is so weird
Auntie needs to mind her own business!!!!!!!!!!
Someone took lockdown from school as a lockdown with boyfriend option. 🤦🏻♀️
Do not be subject to other people's poor decisions. Let nature take its course.
Children don't raise Children.
I had a baby at 16. She is now 18 and has her head on her shoulders unlike the majority of kids her age raised by "adults".
@@nicolcacola I am sorry you included yourself in my statement since I said, "CHILDREN don't raise children," that means you saw yourself as a child raising another child and NOT AN ADULT RAISING A CHILD. Before you comment on a post make sure it really applies to you!!!
Ho god you need to stop trying make sound good make a decision
She should put it up for adoption. 15 is too young to be parents.
Here is what we did, 20 years ago we heard about this method and it works like a charm.
Start conversation around 11. Every month repeat mantra with love and kindness. Child would have to move out, 0 financial support, 0 babysitting. Consequences are clearly defined. I taught my kids how to experience freedom and not be tied down with regret and anguish. Making wise choices brings heaps of happiness