Rebellious Teen Has a Secret Phone (We’re Losing Control)
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- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
- Rebellious Teen Has a Secret Phone (We’re Losing Control)
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Thank the Lord we didn't have cell phones when we were teens. Today's kids are no different, they just have different ways of showing it.
Parents always think their kid is an angel but they really don't know them at all
I'm just amazed this kid has $10k worth of secret electronics........ I haven't had that much in 42 years.
Going to court isn't always the most effective answer. In certain circumstances, it actually worsens the issue.
The world keeps spiraling. I was hunting alone at 10, running chainsaws at about the same age...now those normal activities are used as examples of what is insane for children to do. Early empowerment and responsibility is the way out of these situations...not the cause.
Agreed
Oh, ok. She's from a broken family. Step-mom...unless you have legal guardianship, what you say doesn't matter to her. You are a pariah in her world.
Her father needs to step up, not you. You'll continue to spin your wheels if you continue to think you actually matter to her. She is a young teenager trying to navigate the chaos that the adults in her life created. Step back and let her father handle this with her mother.
that is not true. A lot of kids respect their step parents. I know from personal experience.
@@opulentelephant9532 ...my commentary addresses this caller, not a blanket representation of broken families. You may be the exception but you are not the rule for broken families. Thank you for your opinion.
That's not true, the stepmom has an essential role in fixing a problem that affects her stepmom just as much as it affects her, her father and her mother. It's not a matter of whether she respects her stepmom or not. Her stepmom needs to get law enforcement and Courts involved so they can investigate what she's been up to and decide if she just needs probation for texting nude photos of other people to other people or if it's much worse than that and she is a sex trafficker who accidentally texted a nude photo of another girl to someone they knew when her intention was to send the photo to a "John" that she was trafficking the other girl to. The stepmom also has good reason to be concerned about her criminal stepdaughter and her behavior especially since it's not safe for her stepmom to be unclothed at any time when her stepdaughter is around since she is clearly a sexual deviant who sends photos of other people to others. All her stepmom needs to happen is for her criminal stepdaughter to snap a nude photo of her and send it to people.
Maybe her stepdaughter will move on from sending nude photos of other girls she knows and/or traffics to sending nude photos of her stepmom or selling nude photos of her stepmom. There's no way to know unless you get law enforcement and courts involved. Either way it is most certainly her business if a criminal is living in her home.
"She is a young teenager trying to navigate the chaos that the adults in her life created."
No one made her into a sexual predator who sends nude photos of others to people nor did the adults in her life create a sexual deviant who goes on TikTok and Snapchat (unless you are saying her mom is trafficking her and making money off of her selling sexual content on TikTok, Snapchat, etc). If that's the case, it's still good to get law enforcement involved since if her biological mom is trafficking her and other girls that needs to be known too so her mom can go to prison. Either way, no one is to blame for a teenager committing sex crimes against other girls. What are you going to say next? If she sexually assaults a female classmate and forces them to have sex with her that the stepmom finding out about it should just look the other way and let mommy and daddy ground, her for a little bit and take away her phone privileges?
You are just a messed up person who isn't right on this and your messed up family is "not the rule" but is instead the "exception." You are the actual exception here. I don't know or care about your family or if it's broken or not but this stepmom has an essential role in protecting her stepdaughter, herself and other children from what her stepdaughter is doing. If this girl was my daughter's friend and it was possible that she was sexually preying on my daughter or worse sex trafficking my child and her biological father and mother would do nothing to address the issue I would be very grateful if a stepmother stepped up and made sure to get to the bottom of whatever the hell the "broken" child who is trying to break my child is doing to my child.
@@opulentelephant9532 This is true for many different reasons. One of which is that some step parents put the fear into a step child because they know that they aren't their biological parents and wouldn't have any problem getting the authorities involved if they go too far. They aren't going to respect a passive stepparent who doesn't make it clear that they have boundaries and will uphold those boundaries whether their spouse or their stepchild's other biological parent likes it or not.
Of course, such boundaries start with setting boundaries with a spouse who is the parent of their stepchild. This stepmother needs to make healthy boundaries clear to her husband first and if he doesn't like it, she can leave him and report her stepdaughter's criminal activities to law enforcement so the legal system can figure out if she's just a sexual deviant who needs probation and/or to be taken away from her mom and dad or if she is a sexual predator or sex trafficker who deserves a significant number of years in prison.
Either way, she respects her stepmother, or she doesn't, but the stepmother doesn't need to have the respect of a stepchild to set boundaries just like society doesn't need to have members of society respect society to set boundaries. If she texted a nude photo of my child to someone else, she wouldn't be worried about being grounded or having her daddy or mommy taking her phones away from her. She wouldn't be the least bit concerned about whether she respects her stepmom or not. The sexual deviant would see the inside of a courtroom faster than she can try to manipulate her way out of it. It wouldn't make one bit of difference if she came forward before the authorities could get involved because it was a ploy to get away with what she had done to my child. She is really damn lucky that she has a bad biological mother, bad biological father and that the other girls family didn't seek to have the book thrown at her for her crime.
The teen age years are rough. At times it seems nothing works. Too tough or too lenient. Nothing works.
How does the kid get enough money to buy three smartphones and an iPad and nobody watching over what she does with them? The dad needs a major attitude adjustment.
When I was a teen, I got all of my contraband from my older friends, and friends older siblings. Thank God I grew up before social media-I was just as bad but there weren’t any cameras. This kid is a lot smarter than her parents give her credit for and I’m willing to bet there’s even more going on than her parents know about.
Thank you John for standing up for the kids! Amen!
If I had a teen like this, I would find an organization who could teach her how sex trafficking works and about the down side of sliding into this world. I'd have her talk to teens who have lived in this world who only by the grace of God managed to get out. I would have professionals show her the realities of going down slippery slopes. She probably won't listen to her parents, so get other knowledgeable people to start the discussions with her. She is clueless.
You are assuming she is unaware of how sex trafficking works which is the best case scenario. The worse case scenario is that she is herself a sex trafficker who had 3 phones because it makes it easier to keep her businesses separate from her personal life and got ahead of a situation when she accidentally sent a nude photo of another girl to someone they knew and had to get ahead of it by coming forward before the authorities got involved. If that is the case we aren't just talking about a misguided teenager but a manipulative sexual predator who is so good at what she does that she is able to manipulate other girls into providing her sexual content and manipulate her way out of a situation. There are a lot of things about what her stepmom said that could point to this not being so innocent which is why it's important for her family to get law enforcement involved so they can comb through her activities and decide if she is just a misguided girl who needs probation for sending nude photos of other girls to people or if she is a sex trafficker who needs to go to prison for her crimes.
This is why you need to show kids the real world early on, go to the bad parts of your city and tell them they can easily fall into drugs and a degenerate lifestyle if they decide to go down that path, it's not always fair but the main rules are clear to adults.
Bring your kids to historical rated R films, tell them the hard stuff so they don't fall into it naively as a teen without any values.
You can't "protect" your kids from the world and why would you want to raise such a helpless/naive child, make sure they know the consequences of their actions.
True, when my kid hang out with the wrong crowd I went to buy a ticket to visit the Philippines and I instructed my family to show everything, he came back a new person thanking me for showing the other side of the world.
If I have ever have kid I’m doing just this
@@gogiants1227 Just consider it raising adults and you'll always know what to do.
To me raising kids sounds very tough
Please don't call the cops because Someone smokes marijuana.
What an overreaction, a group discussion with all parents involved would suffice. The last thing u need to do is put your child in the criminal Justice system.
I'm wondering why the Stepmom is the one calling and why hasn't the Dad taken this more seriously?? I hate to be so morbid, but does he realize there could come a day when he has to identify his daughter at the morgue, that's what is going to happen if he doesn't start being a parent instead of letting someone else tell him he needs to be checking on his daughters actions.
You are right that there could come a day that he will have to identify his daughter at the morgue, but he also needs to understand that he could be identify his daughter and his wife at the morgue or his family could be identifying his daughter, wife and him at the morgue. When the stalker of the 14 year old TikToker chose to show up at her home and started shooting at the house her ex-cop father shot and killed the stalker but it could end up very differently for others including this father. He might be sound asleep when one of her online followers turns into a psycho stalker and they walk into his bedroom and kill him and his wife in their sleep, go to her room and sexually assault his daughter before killing her too. Imagine what those who have to deal with his entire family being killed would have to deal with having to identify them because he couldn't be a good father. I wouldn't want to be the father, brother or other relative of her father when the police call and say "your brother/son, sister-in-law/daughter-in-law, and niece/granddaughter have been killed and we need you to come identify their bodies." That's even more morbid and imagine what kind of trauma his bad parenting could have on his extended family if that happened.
She needs to present all this evidence to the custody judge and get her taken away from the mom if need be.
History will not be kind to parents of the kids who were given smart phones. Stop being their buddy parents, take away their phones.
With a decent router you can made a list of websites to block on a list and even cut off wifi at certain times during the day and night. No social media for my kid until there 18, he doesn’t need it and I don’t want him getting used to it.
Not a grown up in sight. Ugh disgusting.
She’s not a shy introvert.
No, she isn't and based on some of the things her stepmom said this girl may even be a sexual predator or even worse a sex trafficker. Either she is such a sexual deviant that she was able to obtain a nude photo of another girl in an illicit way or she is such a sexual deviant that she was able to manipulate the other girl into giving her a nude photo of herself. But we do know that she is a sexual deviant who sends nude photos of other girls to people they know intentionally, or she accidentally sent a nude photo of another girl to an acquaintance when she meant to send it to a "John" she was sex trafficking the other girl to. The fact that she got ahead of the situation before she could be reported to the authorities shows a manipulative personality which would make it more likely that the parents of the other girl didn't choose to press charges because they found out that she had been sex trafficking their child and they would also be ruining their child's life if they pressed charges against a sex trafficker who needed 3 phones to keep her trafficking business separate from her personal life.
Either way, this step mom should get the authorities involved and a forensics team should comb through all of her activities and see if she is just a misguided teenager who accidentally sent a nude photo of another girl to someone or if she is a sex trafficker who is so manipulative that she tries to get everyone to buy her load of BS.
Just another parent who think they know everything about their kid but knows nothing.
Parental apathy is rampant these days. shame. shame
Back in the 70s, we were told that if we got pregnant, we would get thrown out of the house. If we got in trouble, we would rot in jail. And parents could do that back then. Two of my friends ended up in a shelter for teen moms - one of the dads told my dad that he would never accept a bas*ard grandchild. Both my friends had hard lives.
I would hate having to raise kids nowadays. Wow, just wow.
I can’t comprehend a worse idea then getting law enforcement involved in this situation.
The best idea is to not get law enforcement involved and to just continue to ignore and not address the true gravity of the situation, so she never learns just how serious her actions are. Then when she ends up in prison, sex trafficked or dead you can talk about how calling the police on where is worse than her going to prison, being sex trafficked or killed. You could tell her stepmother's family what a bad idea it was to get law enforcement involved in the criminal activity of her teenage stepdaughter if her step-mom ends up being killed or sex trafficked too because her TikToking Snapchating criminal stepdaughter opened their lives to that happening. You could tell her step-mom's father and mother "it's not worse that your daughter is sex trafficked" or "it's not worse that your daughter is dead" because getting law enforcement involved before your step-granddaughter's criminal activities got her killed is definitely a lot worse than your daughter being killed or sex trafficked because no one held a teenage brat accountable for committing crimes. Maybe when she moves from sexual crimes to robbing a bank the best thing to do would be to ground her and take her phone away from her so she can't plan any more bank robberies and not get law enforcement involved in the situation.
You are way off on this.
@@jakehansen5719 First off you watch too much Law and Order. I’m not saying sex trafficking isn’t real/can’t happen/shouldn’t be taking seriously but you are jumping from one realm way into a completely different world.
The teen is definitely doing wrong, the other family involved chose not to press charges, probably because their daughter, but letter of the law was also in possession of child pornography, even though she took the picture of herself.
By pressing charges, the other family would be bringing criminal charges onto their own child.
Social media needs to be taken away from both these teens. The bio mother needs to take this more seriously. But involving the state is far from right decision. That child can be taken away from her parents and put into a correctional facility with children who have been sexually abused, neglected and involved in all kinds of crime. She will become institutionalized and resentful of her parents. And that can happen within weeks.
So you believe, taking this child away from her father and stepmother, who obviously lover her and care for her is the best situation? That will put her into an environment deprived of love and will more then likely push her into continuing her behavior of not magnify the rebellious attitude.
In 2010-2016 give or take was the beginning of social media, sexting etc.. High Schoolers have always been doing this since that entire time frame. I was in High School in that time frame, I saw it happening, while it’s far from a majority of Teens doing this, it is normalized. It was normalized by the time I was a senior in 2015. Having witnessed similar issues with friends and classmates. While inappropriate, degenerate, wrong, sinful (insert other negative adjective here) there is a massive difference from 15,16,17,18 year olds doing this with each other and a 15 year old doing this with a 20+ year old. Once again, I’m not condoning this behavior, it shouldn’t be normal, it should be punished but it’s not what people think it is, when they didn’t grow up with the ability to do this.
Teen pregnancy is down but sexual behavior in teens isn’t. It’s probably more prevalent then ever, it’s just being manifested differently. It’s much more of a grey area than you or I wish it was. I wish this was black and white but it’s not.
@@JL-pj6kk "So you believe, taking this child away from her father and stepmother, who obviously lover her and care for her is the best situation? That will put her into an environment deprived of love and will more then likely push her into continuing her behavior of not magnify the rebellious attitude."
I'm ignoring most of your uninteresting points and focusing on this one only. The answer to this is a definite no/yes. First, a child who is a sexual predator like this teenager girl is should at bare minimum receive probation which she can finish while staying with her father, stepmother and mother but if there's more to it or more severe consequences are warranted than the best thing to do is to take her away from those whose love is enabling her criminal behavior and teaching her sooner than later that the rest of the world doesn't love her and that if she acts like this after she leaves home she will not be treated so kindly by those whose families she harms because she had bad parents.
This goes for you as well.
@@jakehansen5719 the idea that you think is girl is a sexual predator is absurd.
@@JL-pj6kk What's absurd is that you think taking pictures of others in the nude or distributing photos of others in the nude without their consent isn't a sex crime. Explains a lot. Based on your defend of sexual predators you likely do the same sort of thing so you don't consider her to be a sexual predator because you a sexual predator. Either way, there's no point trying to talk to those who defend sexual predators or who are themselves sexual predators.
I'm not going to take time to try to find out which but if you ever distribute nude photos of others without their consent I hope you get arrested and the key thrown away. If you ever convince young children to allow you to take photos of them nude or ever convince children to let you distribute those photos I hope the book is thrown at you.
You are a disgusting person.
My guess is that the mother is the one who had an affair. She doesn't care about her daughter because it would call into examination what she is doing in her life. The father needs to grow a pair and stop walking on egg shells. HELP the daughter. Stand against what is happening.
You always have to be careful when using the nuclear option while parenting a teen. I would’ve gone nuclear right back with my abusive parents so I’m thankful they never tried anything like this suggestion.
Sometimes brats need to be taught a life lesson even if they go nuclear. If a teenager goes nuclear and become violent, they can go to jail just like anyone else. Maybe jail would help them understand that being grounded as a teenage brat is a warning of a grounding that adult brats can get when they go to prison. I'm pretty sure that helping a teenager understand there are consequences is the best that parents can do for them because if they don't and they keep being brats into adulthood the world isn't going to say "go to your room for the night" instead it's going to say something along the lines of "spend X years in prison" or "you are sentenced to death." I bet those people wish their parents had chosen the nuclear option when they were teenage brats so that society didn't have to go nuclear on them because going "nuclear right back with" society just doesn't work.
@@jakehansen5719 bad parents create bad children.
@@jakehansen5719 Who the hell said anything about doing something illegal? 😂
Why is the nuclear option only illegal things in your mind and violence?
She’s acting out for some reason. Maybe it’s because the biological mom doesn’t seem to care??? She needs to go to counseling/therapist because I think something happened to her that she needs to heal from.
Wow it’s my exact situation except my stepdaughter is 12. And she’s already been suspended at least 3-4 times. I’ve lost count
Calling the cops is is a bad move. Once you do that it puts this in the hands of the system you lose all control and this could go in a direction you might not want.
Bad advice won't work
She’ll be on only fans in 1.2.3
I have similar problems with our teen. I don’t give him any phone but he managed to get 2 iPhones that I confiscated one after one. My husband only wants to be the peacemaker and the teen totally doesn’t listen to me because his dad is on his side fighting against me for discipline the child. Both dad and son tend to lie and hide secrets. I don’t know what to do anymore?
Why is the step mom calling? Not really her place.
She’s in her care .
Yes, it is her place because she lives with her, and she is responsible for her care just like a foster parent would have a place even if the child occasionally visits their biological parent. She has the right to figure out what is going on inside of her home with a criminal who has committed a crime and to prevent that from happening again. All she needs is for 1 of her step-daughters online followers to start stalking her stepdaughter and show up at their home and start shooting at their house. They might not end up as lucky as the 14 year old who had a father who was an ex-cop who could shoot the stalker trying to kill his daughter. This step mom could instead end up dead because of her step daughter's criminal actions and other actions. What if the parent of the other girl didn't just choose not to press charges but decided to set their home on fire in the middle of the night and she died because her psycho step daughter sexting naked photos of another girl triggered another psycho to commit arson? Would that be her place then?
@@jakehansen5719 A guy wrote this?
@@rebeccaoprea9917 If i were her parents, this would be overstepping.
@@marcuslong9761 "If i were her parents, this would be overstepping." Then the stepparent can divorce you and turn your criminal child into the authorities. You can say it's overstepping when police, social workers, judges and/or juries get involved and address you being a bad father.
Teens gonna teen, Karens gonna Karen.
You still a teen then?
👍🏻🤣
@@colmwhateveryoulike3240 no I'm just not a Karen
@@JamesSimmons Well a mature adult is going to be concerned about child safety/child crime, especially if that child is in their care, so where do you draw the line between that and being a Karen and how does this caller cross it?
Marijuana is illegal
If she “goes to her mom’s every weekend,” how is this girl this woman’s daughter?
This is terrible fucking advice John. I was this girl in HS. Getting law enforcement involved would cause me to disown my parents for the rest of my damn life. She doesn’t need a record. She needs THERAPY and HELP.
What an insane situation....
You are always trying to have the parents turn in their kids over stuff that can be handled in house. I have a big problem with your suggestion, the police aren’t going to be your friend? This is a big overreaction!!
I agree with you 100%! She sent a pic of her friend (a minor) if they pressed charges she would’ve ended up in the sex offender registry. Which would’ve marked her for life over a brief lapse in judgement she had at 15. I also don’t think Dr Jon considers that as her guardians they could face financial consequences if their kid got jammed up in a lawsuit. Very unwise over the top advice. This man really said “you should call the girls parents and ask them to reconsider there choice to not press charges” insanity!
lock her up!
Yes I say that social media is probably one of the best things that was ever given to us and by far one of the worst things ever given to us cell phones and social media and all of us parents make mistakes and give their kids phones now when they're way too young and then you struggle to take it away because as a parent we make excuses why our kid needs a phone without stopping and thinking I never had a cell phone when I was growing up this is a really good episode cuz I know this is affecting more of us parents than what a lot of us want to admit really good episode
I agreed 💯 .
Lol my 15 year old could totally carry a firearm safely. Because they've been trained. Chainsaws? Nooot so much. And NOT smartphones.
Congratulations
You seem reasonable
A tool for cutting wood and communication is less dangerous than a tool for blowing someone's brains out? Sounds like you're the tool.
She wants attention, or I should say they all want attention!!
John gives horrible parenting advice when it comes to teenagers
I’ve seen the effects of not following his advice over and over again. His advice is golden.
Man what are y’all with teen girls doing to keep your daughter from wanting to post online for attention and maybe money??
He have such bad advice here.
Hey Dr. Delony, I wonder if there is a phone you could recommend for parents of teens? I know there's a few on the market considered "safe"for kids, any of those you prefer? Thanks!
This is terrible advice...does Josh have teens?
John
Why?
Sooooo what’s the big deal here?
Why are we acting so surprised ?
You are an extremist on this, you are way to quick to call police on children. This is a pattern of yours.
Wow
hi