X-RAY ABUSE | Papers Please - Part 4

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  • čas přidán 9. 05. 2021
  • What are the long term repercussions of getting blasted with x-rays on the daily?
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    And ► / lixiantv
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Komentáře • 4,6K

  • @TheIncredibleHulk96
    @TheIncredibleHulk96 Před 3 lety +3487

    “Crayons? That’s a whole day’s worth of rent! I SHOT A DUDE TODAY!”
    Markiplier, 2021

    • @Zorgdub
      @Zorgdub Před 3 lety +91

      And the part that's priceless is that the kid is going to use those crayons to make a drawing of Mark shooting that dude.

    • @nameless44421
      @nameless44421 Před 3 lety +7

      The words he says is random

    • @ashleyr6809
      @ashleyr6809 Před 3 lety +23

      I COULD HAVE GIVEN YOU SOME RED! Yeesh.
      🤣

    • @bradfrankshaw
      @bradfrankshaw Před 3 lety +4

      Dying.... XD clearly the signs of a man under pressure ready to explode... it's Markipliers version of Falling Down

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo Před 3 lety +4

      @@B0o0o0o0o0o
      Think of it this way. To them, $30 pays for an above-average apartment. And these crayons are $25.. that's like spending over a *_thousand_* dollars on crayons in America. The fuck are these crayons made of?

  • @HarukaLPs
    @HarukaLPs Před 3 lety +3445

    Everyone else: "I don't have any contraband"
    Jorji: "IS DRUGS! :)'

    • @genericname2747
      @genericname2747 Před 3 lety +475

      Jorji is an honest man.

    • @BlueInkAlchemy
      @BlueInkAlchemy Před 3 lety +344

      Jorji is precious and must be protected at all costs.

    • @feef1699
      @feef1699 Před 3 lety +258

      jorji is so dumb and i love him

    • @BubbaBearGames
      @BubbaBearGames Před 3 lety +165

      @@feef1699 He is the Little Potato Man!

    • @verager2493
      @verager2493 Před 3 lety +300

      And that honesty, combined with highly reasonable bribes for the trouble, is what gets Jorji into Aristotska.
      That and always having a good attitude when he messes up. Never once has a bad word to say about you, he knows you have a job to do, and that money talks.
      Glory to Potato Man.

  • @alexthetiger7806
    @alexthetiger7806 Před 3 lety +1882

    Watching Mark yell at his fictional son about wanting expensive crayons for a whole ass minute, then proceeding to buy it anyway was the most dad thing I've ever seen from him. Even moreso than all the "Impor" jokes

  • @DarkenedDawn
    @DarkenedDawn Před 2 lety +489

    The Virgin Mark: "OH NO THERES A BOMB"
    The Chad Border Officer: "What a piece of shit, a simpleton created this."

  • @hjonkhjonk_1645
    @hjonkhjonk_1645 Před 3 lety +8624

    Most of Mark’s playthrough of this game can be summed up in the sentence
    “I don't make the rules, and if you bribe me, I don't enforce them either”

  • @alexisasheep6554
    @alexisasheep6554 Před 3 lety +2893

    I can just imagine mark in an actual booth just yelling out to the line "give me bribes then we'll see" in front of all the guards who don't give a shit cause they just wanna get paid and go home

    • @l0sts0ul89
      @l0sts0ul89 Před 3 lety +41

      Same

    • @straypaper
      @straypaper Před 3 lety +219

      Also because he's the only competent shot within 500 miles radius and he saves their lives from suicide bombers every other day.

    • @evannesbitt7852
      @evannesbitt7852 Před 3 lety +4

      @@thefinale8855 what

    • @robertolebron2296
      @robertolebron2296 Před 3 lety +6

      Make sure to tell mark in the comment section to remove the poster next day because the inspector is coming

    • @verager2493
      @verager2493 Před 3 lety +6

      Minimum wage simulator, literally.

  • @CallenderMan
    @CallenderMan Před 3 lety +7160

    I find it hilarious that the guard was insulting the bomb while Mark was freaking out like "OH GOD WHAT DO I DO?"

    • @achaeanmapping4408
      @achaeanmapping4408 Před 3 lety +331

      It was such a stupid fucking bomb

    • @bluelandyaandgreenlandya1788
      @bluelandyaandgreenlandya1788 Před 3 lety +308

      Who makes a bomb so easy to disarm that some CZcamsr can do it while panicking?

    • @zavaraninoveuhorky
      @zavaraninoveuhorky Před 3 lety +214

      Truly amateur shit-ass bomb, we disarmed it under 1 minute

    • @kamikazesopp
      @kamikazesopp Před 3 lety +183

      What I like most is that the dude who wanted engineers apparently got 4 calls, despite the first guy blew himself up.

    • @ricksanchez5584
      @ricksanchez5584 Před 3 lety +122

      @@kamikazesopp some passerguy found a random card, near a bomber, and thought, sure, this is a fine idea

  • @arthurthekyogre9155
    @arthurthekyogre9155 Před 3 lety +3287

    I'm more impressed by the fact that Mark is managing to keep his balance good while paying for heat and food everyday

    • @laurinha2892
      @laurinha2892 Před 3 lety +266

      With the power of bribes

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo Před 3 lety +221

      He's not going to have the money to evacuate, though.
      Better hope he goes 100% with EZIC if he wants a good ending.

    • @teavo3808
      @teavo3808 Před 3 lety +54

      @@Alizudo Evacuate?!?! Spoilers

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo Před 3 lety +46

      @@teavo3808
      You CAN, you don't have to, and I doubt Mark will.

    • @capriccio9294
      @capriccio9294 Před 3 lety +48

      @@teavo3808 The game has been out since 2013...

  • @temtrys
    @temtrys Před 3 lety +5618

    I find it funny that some dude comes in and drops in a bomb, and the guard dude just comes in and is like, "The fuck is this? They barely even tried."

    • @t.foxtrot8429
      @t.foxtrot8429 Před 3 lety +18

      @Muscleman8562 no one cares

    • @iamthehype3684
      @iamthehype3684 Před 3 lety +348

      I guess he's seen some shit, and has become desensitized to such things.

    • @t.foxtrot8429
      @t.foxtrot8429 Před 3 lety +194

      @@iamthehype3684 right? Seen people get blown up all the time and a border booth worker who’s a better shot than the guards

    • @barry8871
      @barry8871 Před 3 lety +50

      probably an expert Minesweepers

    • @galaxion2857
      @galaxion2857 Před 3 lety +130

      its even funnier when you realize he was right. a bomb that has clear instructions on how to disable it.

  • @kuvalparhar8939
    @kuvalparhar8939 Před 3 lety +8536

    That guard is such a G. Dude just singlehandly saved over half of everybody at the checkpoint by calling the bomb a piece of crap. He even sold it.

    • @godammichael
      @godammichael Před 3 lety +350

      Yeah just rub it in their face

    • @Gemcy
      @Gemcy Před 3 lety +467

      Must be a retired defuser or smth

    • @MrBadAtThisYT
      @MrBadAtThisYT Před 3 lety +406

      That’s my new head canon now. Dude is a retired bomb defusal expert

    • @sovietstar6703
      @sovietstar6703 Před 3 lety +218

      Kinda worrying how many times he’s probably had to deal with it-

    • @iaml2348
      @iaml2348 Před 3 lety +148

      @@sovietstar6703 he's done it so much it's numb to him

  • @nightwalker4523
    @nightwalker4523 Před 3 lety +1244

    I like contrasting how Mark and Jack play.
    Jack - I'm going to get everything right!!
    Mark - Please. Go away.

    • @NicholasSteMarie
      @NicholasSteMarie Před 2 lety +4

      @@Kay-lei5 tbf that’s how most people played

    • @richinluv07
      @richinluv07 Před 2 lety +16

      Mark has a _different_ set of morals.

  • @gamingseizure
    @gamingseizure Před 3 lety +571

    Mark: * gets live bomb from terrorist *
    Guard: "this is the shittiest bomb I have ever seen"
    Mark: * defuses bomb *
    Guard: * continues to insult bomb *

  • @cosmickoffee
    @cosmickoffee Před 3 lety +5725

    I love how people become so fond of Little Potato Man and just let him go on his little drug-potato way.

    • @misslockwood6530
      @misslockwood6530 Před 3 lety +374

      Little potato man! *You were always my favorite.*

    • @marieindia8116
      @marieindia8116 Před 3 lety +33

      A statement on how warped morals are today.

    • @space7939
      @space7939 Před 3 lety +42

      @@marieindia8116 And how is that?

    • @jessicayomo8665
      @jessicayomo8665 Před 3 lety +24

      He's everyone's favorite. :D

    • @jessicayomo8665
      @jessicayomo8665 Před 3 lety +43

      @@marieindia8116 It's a simple border control game. Relax Karen. XD

  • @andreasaladini1212
    @andreasaladini1212 Před 3 lety +3670

    Mark screaming at his child for those 25 dollar crayons is just a different kind of funny.

  • @foggythefroggy8
    @foggythefroggy8 Před 3 lety +699

    When Mark started talking about the crayons, I honestly thought he was going to start off by saying “When I was younger, I was too poor to afford crayons...”

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo Před 3 lety +39

      Think of it this way. To them, $30 pays for an above-average apartment. And these crayons are $25.. that's like spending over a *_thousand_* dollars on crayons in America. The fuck are these crayons made of?

    • @xjessie_drawsx
      @xjessie_drawsx Před 11 měsíci +4

      ​@@Alizudoart supplies do be like that nowadays

    • @fangurkseraph
      @fangurkseraph Před 2 měsíci +3

      @@Alizudo you don't pay rent everyday in america tho. 25x30 is 750. imagine paying only 750 dollars rent for an apartment housing you, your wife, your son and your uncle.

  • @user-id1cx1yg3o
    @user-id1cx1yg3o Před 3 lety +420

    Pewds: Not caring about his son at all, even though he is sick.
    Mark: Ok, I guess u could have those crayons. Happy birthday son. I'm so happy to have you in my life.

    • @jaredramirez5876
      @jaredramirez5876 Před 2 lety +18

      Meanwhile Jack: Oh you're cold sick and hungry? I don't give a shit

  • @bishoukun
    @bishoukun Před 3 lety +3463

    It's hard NOT to like our little potato man, Jorji. His attitude is just so positive and friendly ALL of the time, and he's honest about the drugs.

    • @jaspertyler4557
      @jaspertyler4557 Před 3 lety +252

      He also tells you about how you can escape to obristan, and gives you his passport to help.

    • @MrMarket1987
      @MrMarket1987 Před 3 lety +117

      He does get very pissed at you if you deny him passage when he DOES have the proper papers and isn't being screened for contraband though.

    • @coffee-with-sprats
      @coffee-with-sprats Před 3 lety +250

      @@MrMarket1987 I believe that everyone would be pissed in this situation.

    • @highasduck5282
      @highasduck5282 Před 3 lety +55

      @@MrMarket1987 i mean...what would you expect though lol

    • @loganlee3742
      @loganlee3742 Před 3 lety +115

      Its also hilarious how he is proud of getting caught with illegal contraband and casually bribing a government officials.

  • @shima2413
    @shima2413 Před 3 lety +2141

    Mark yelled at the son about the crayons with the fury of 50 dads who just felt the thermostat get adjusted.

    • @Darkmisterss0621
      @Darkmisterss0621 Před 3 lety +52

      I like to think his neighbors heard this and thought “wow what a spoiled (non existent) kid”

    • @charlyduong2896
      @charlyduong2896 Před 3 lety +28

      Art kids can relate to the expensive $25 crayons lmaooo

    • @msfeistybabe
      @msfeistybabe Před 3 lety +4

      @@charlyduong2896 Now they call them Copic markers? LOL. I only guess this from watching Jazza and his art channel :) lol

    • @arteriole
      @arteriole Před 3 lety +4

      @@msfeistybabe I'm not sure on which planet you'd find a decent sized set of Copic markers for as cheap as $25, haha.
      (Though for any people interested reading this, if you know someone travelling to Japan or will be visiting there yourself after the pandemic restrictions lift, then take that as an opportunity to pick up Copics there. They go for around 200 yen apiece in Tokyu, dirt cheap compared to everywhere else.)

    • @msfeistybabe
      @msfeistybabe Před 3 lety +2

      @@arteriole Well I haven't bought any so I don't know exact prices. I just know they sell different sized sets and that Copic are what Jazza likes and has many lol. I figured it might be small, like a 4 marker set HAHAHA ;)

  • @X-SPONGED
    @X-SPONGED Před 3 lety +108

    17:19
    Mark : *sees drugs on Jorji*
    *Sigh* "Ok, you're not a threat, just go, man"
    "I like you, Just go"
    Mark actually feels like an actual human border patrol, he feeds and warms his family everyday, he actually bought gifts for his son's birthday, he makes human mistakes, this is an overall genuine playthrough

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo Před 3 lety +12

      The best way to play the game is to accept bribes.
      It's the only way to make enough money to survive

  • @fireflyaex2296
    @fireflyaex2296 Před 3 lety +225

    7:03
    "...Overweight, According to who?"
    THANK YOU MARK
    that lil weird comment made my day

    • @GucciBoy31
      @GucciBoy31 Před 2 lety +7

      Wdym just look at her

    • @HKlink
      @HKlink Před rokem +33

      Overweight, according to @@GucciBoy31!

    • @st4rdyy
      @st4rdyy Před 2 měsíci +1

      @@HKlink "gucci boy" 💀💀 checks out

  • @leah5049
    @leah5049 Před 3 lety +2429

    markiplier: **has a bomb on his desk**
    that blue guy: “ _o h_ 👩🏻‍🦲“

    • @enomly8360
      @enomly8360 Před 3 lety +121

      That blue guy: That's the worse bomb I've ever seen, take care of it, bye byeee

    • @nothing-mm8ui
      @nothing-mm8ui Před 3 lety +94

      just a bomb made by some n00b, doesn't even have a display. Just cut the wires in the order the noob put them in
      -blue dude

    • @averagecat4220
      @averagecat4220 Před 3 lety +17

      Just another day at the border

    • @_pleasedonotthecat_
      @_pleasedonotthecat_ Před 3 lety +27

      @@nothing-mm8ui Fun fact: On his wiki page, If you click on where he says "simple mind" (In the sentence "A simple mind created this."), it takes you to the Kolechia page.

    • @davidbest1641
      @davidbest1641 Před 3 lety +3

      I love this series but Noone ever plays it all the way thru

  • @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache
    @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache Před 3 lety +8425

    "I shot a dude today, I could've got you some red"
    Mark being thoughtful as usual

    • @antonyalexpro6957
      @antonyalexpro6957 Před 3 lety +66

      you are like the duke (merchant) in resident evil 8, YOU ARE EVERYWHERE

    • @iqceo4276
      @iqceo4276 Před 3 lety +7

      he is truly the best

    • @Binsas
      @Binsas Před 3 lety +30

      @@rahmat4848 thanks for telling him that he likes anime
      if that is an insult then its a bad one

    • @Wick291
      @Wick291 Před 3 lety +20

      How to get a massive amount of likes quickly 101
      Step 1: Be ‘Just Some Guy without a Mustache’ or ‘Justin Y.’ Or ‘Ray Mak’.
      Step 2: Say *a n y t h i n g*
      Step 3: Wait.

    • @rahmat4848
      @rahmat4848 Před 3 lety +1

      @@Wick291 or write this comment

  • @maud5400
    @maud5400 Před 3 lety +236

    I can't believe this guy has fed and heated the whole house every single day

    • @Ardorstorm
      @Ardorstorm Před 2 lety +16

      He's turned the heat off a couple times, but that's really it

  • @khosrowrahmani710
    @khosrowrahmani710 Před 3 lety +213

    "learn to adapt with the tools that you have child!"
    -Markiplier 2021

  • @TheRamenSeal
    @TheRamenSeal Před 3 lety +5305

    Mark seems to neglect his family a lot less than most people who play this game, he actually feeds them and keeps them warm every night

    • @crystaljiang5976
      @crystaljiang5976 Před 3 lety +871

      Mark's groundbreaking strategy of having a side guide and speeding through with uncertainty has allowed him to feed his family

    • @jaspertyler4557
      @jaspertyler4557 Před 3 lety +414

      Also he is still in a level 7 apartment when there is literally no reason to go level 7 over level 8.

    • @tonystigvils7358
      @tonystigvils7358 Před 3 lety +12

      I think he sucks

    • @LordVader1094
      @LordVader1094 Před 3 lety +194

      It's not neglect, it's preserving income. If you pay for everything every day, eventually you run out of money and EVERYONE starves.

    • @toastytoast9800
      @toastytoast9800 Před 3 lety +294

      tbh, he probably doesn't know he doesn't need to feed them every day

  • @thatmf4716
    @thatmf4716 Před 3 lety +2260

    Mark judging characters:
    “You ain’t bald. Okay, maybe you are.”
    “Dark hair. Is this what you call dark hair?”
    “Well, I don’t like your face.”
    “Woah, we got friccin Jason trying to cross abroad here.”
    “Is this you?”

    • @misterflamingo
      @misterflamingo Před 3 lety +38

      The "is this you" question is really annoying. So much pressure to be yourself... 😂🤌🏻

    • @YoutubeChannel-pd2xf
      @YoutubeChannel-pd2xf Před 3 lety +1

      read this as i got to the Jason part of the video 😅

    • @Vin-sv9fm
      @Vin-sv9fm Před 3 lety +1

      My dude needs to read the definition of character

    • @claranadine1086
      @claranadine1086 Před 3 lety

      lmaoooo 😂

    • @starmallows
      @starmallows Před 3 lety +2

      He also said a character was bug eyed lol

  • @joshc5613
    @joshc5613 Před 3 lety +134

    Mark: spends a whole minute berating his son for wanting such an expensive crayon set
    Also Mark: buys them anyway because he's a good dad

  • @firockfinion3326
    @firockfinion3326 Před 3 lety +85

    "You got all the colors of the rainbow inside your body! You just gotta extract it!"
    This sounds like a quote from a villain of either an indie horror game or a comic book.

  • @JeweledLove
    @JeweledLove Před 3 lety +2411

    Mark: *has a bomb on his desk*
    Guard: *"Oh. Hah."*

    • @lydiaisstillstrange
      @lydiaisstillstrange Před 3 lety +38

      @@rahmat4848 Bruh

    • @xReedzZx
      @xReedzZx Před 3 lety +4

      how - how do I see you all the time in the comments xD

    • @rhawkas2637
      @rhawkas2637 Před 3 lety +18

      Guard: "is n00b bomb lolololol can haz plz?" XD

    • @jockeyfield1954
      @jockeyfield1954 Před 3 lety +24

      @@rahmat4848 6 year old
      sorry, i was just judging you off your pfp, something that shouldn't be an accurate source to judge someone off as it shows so little about one's own personality

    • @AngelWingsYT
      @AngelWingsYT Před 3 lety +28

      mark: dude gotta evacuate
      guard: nah fam just cut the wires in order no pressure

  • @Wolvenskorn
    @Wolvenskorn Před 3 lety +10693

    Mark's son got that 100 color Crayola crayon set with the built in sharpener. He's gonna be the king of kindergarten now

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo Před 3 lety +453

      I...I actually had that set when I was in kindergarten..

    • @jmhardy4612
      @jmhardy4612 Před 3 lety +344

      @@Alizudo were you ruler of the kindergarten?

    • @Wolvenskorn
      @Wolvenskorn Před 3 lety +234

      @@Alizudo lowkey kinda jealous ngl lol

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo Před 3 lety +300

      @@jmhardy4612
      Not exactly, but I did get TONS of other kids asking to use the sharpener LOL

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo Před 3 lety +137

      @@Wolvenskorn
      I low-key still wish I had those crayons

  • @RayMak
    @RayMak Před 3 lety +336

    You gotta be a sharp sniper shooter and be meticulous to details to play this game.

  • @Alex-fo6ep
    @Alex-fo6ep Před 3 lety +132

    The whole time mark was talking about the expensive crayons I thought he was gonna say “well I was poor as a kid…”

  • @galaxion2857
    @galaxion2857 Před 3 lety +1301

    the detanor man is such a chil dude. not only does he not give a shit about a bomb he sells that shit for parts and get paid then splits it. what a legend

    • @fivestarguy100
      @fivestarguy100 Před 3 lety +200

      It's made even better that the guard actively shit-talks the bomb while you're defusing it.

    • @galaxion2857
      @galaxion2857 Před 3 lety +75

      @@fivestarguy100 in all honesty when explained it, it was super simple

    • @travelsizedarchie
      @travelsizedarchie Před 3 lety +7

      @@galaxion2857 Jesus I thought I was having a stroke

    • @galaxion2857
      @galaxion2857 Před 3 lety +6

      @@travelsizedarchie really lmao. Hope your better now.

    • @travelsizedarchie
      @travelsizedarchie Před 3 lety +1

      @@galaxion2857 I hope you are too

  • @Pegasuz1233
    @Pegasuz1233 Před 3 lety +2508

    Imagine when mark have a son:
    Son: Dad, i want an expensive crayon set
    Mark: When i was a kid, i was so poor-

    • @conficturaincarnatus1034
      @conficturaincarnatus1034 Před 3 lety +194

      Then proceeds to buy it anyway, but not without suffering the long long tale first

    • @jetstreamsam5983
      @jetstreamsam5983 Před 3 lety +103

      I DREW WITH MY OWN BLOOD!

    • @shradicle8576
      @shradicle8576 Před 3 lety +45

      @@rahmat4848 whats wrong with being a weeb? Thats like calling someone gay as an insult.

    • @coffee-with-sprats
      @coffee-with-sprats Před 3 lety +25

      Also Mark: I own 4 (or 5 ? i don't remember) ovens !

    • @rbmac110
      @rbmac110 Před 3 lety +16

      @@coffee-with-sprats 'twas five

  • @X-SPONGED
    @X-SPONGED Před 3 lety +31

    8:56
    Sergio : *being a decent human being and an ok border guard*
    Mark : "hey that's nice, you're nice, you're probably gonna die, but I'm gonna keep you safe, my friend"
    *[Game Will Remember That]*
    *[Everyone Will Remember That]*

  • @deeformed2475
    @deeformed2475 Před 3 lety +114

    Mark: **points at Sergiu** “Who the hell are you?”
    Me: **sniffs** “An old friend.”
    Edit: I’ve played for so long (like 4 years) and never knew what that EZIC slip was and after rejecting the EZIC person I would wonder why the guy would get mad at me. I always thought it was a 2 not a Z

    • @DPLoverness
      @DPLoverness Před 3 lety +10

      I've played the game so much as well and always thought of that slip as the "they'll know what to do with it" or to wait for someone to take it from me. When Mark put it on the passport, I was like "oh cool! It fits!" Then when he said "Oh it probably spells Ezic" i was like "..... it prob what"
      And YES. A DEAR FRIEND. TAKEN TOO SOON AWAY FROM HIS LOVE

  • @br5289
    @br5289 Před 3 lety +6094

    Markiplier telling his kid to adapt and draw with a rock is just him speaking from experience

    • @xx_purgatorium_xx6027
      @xx_purgatorium_xx6027 Před 3 lety +177

      Nah, he was too poor to afford rocks. Only dirt...

    • @masonmorgan6998
      @masonmorgan6998 Před 3 lety +11

      @@xx_purgatorium_xx6027 she was referring to the butt rock story he told.

    • @masonmorgan6998
      @masonmorgan6998 Před 3 lety +7

      @@xx_purgatorium_xx6027 she?
      He?
      Idk, there’s no signifier.

    • @xx_purgatorium_xx6027
      @xx_purgatorium_xx6027 Před 3 lety +1

      @@masonmorgan6998 shhhhhhhh that's what they want you to believe

    • @xx_purgatorium_xx6027
      @xx_purgatorium_xx6027 Před 3 lety +49

      @@masonmorgan6998 also if you are ever unsure of someone's pronouns i think its always best to just say 'they':)

  • @isoniazidsive
    @isoniazidsive Před 3 lety +2932

    imagine getting shot by markiplier then hearing him laugh like a maniac

  • @Patrick_The_Pure
    @Patrick_The_Pure Před 3 lety +48

    "I shot a guy today, i could have given you some red" - Markiplier, 2021.

  • @The_Firevenus
    @The_Firevenus Před 3 lety +161

    I've watch many other CZcamsr played this game, and so far mark is the only one that keeping his family warm and eat well. It's warm my heart :] even tho it just a game

    • @lapislazuli06
      @lapislazuli06 Před 2 lety +23

      He even got his kid an expensive crayon set, after he ranted about how much they are ❤😀

  • @sarahhutchinson1644
    @sarahhutchinson1644 Před 3 lety +967

    “I don’t make the rules. I don’t even enforce them half the time.” -markiplier2021

    • @slug9378
      @slug9378 Před 3 lety +2

      @Muscleman8562 thats not a good thing

  • @meghan7474
    @meghan7474 Před 3 lety +579

    I love that nice little man who keeps trying to get through. Mark is like, “What is that strapped to the back of your leg?” And he’s like, “It’s drugs! 😄 you want some?”

    • @colecube8251
      @colecube8251 Před 3 lety +91

      jorji is the best character in the game 100%

    • @RaulDiaz-mp8ms
      @RaulDiaz-mp8ms Před 3 lety +53

      Ah yes, potato man.

    • @oalnplayer5395
      @oalnplayer5395 Před 3 lety +13

      cocaina

    • @carrie9437
      @carrie9437 Před 3 lety +36

      I think he's great. I also wondered if he's the "man in red" who the lady from The Order thinks is not a threat.

    • @nevarelixe3963
      @nevarelixe3963 Před 3 lety +9

      @@carrie9437 no. shes giving a hint to another quest.

  • @Zenith4546b
    @Zenith4546b Před 3 lety +139

    Markiplier looks like he is withholding the urge to sing I'm a Goofy Goober.

  • @raquele94
    @raquele94 Před 3 lety +68

    Anyone else lowkey expect a citation to appear after every encounter or just me?

  • @prest01
    @prest01 Před 3 lety +3850

    i love how jorji just openly admits to smuggling drugs and proceeds to roll a perfect charisma to get past

    • @ni__wolf143
      @ni__wolf143 Před 3 lety +186

      nat 20 damn

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo Před 3 lety +21

      I would like your comment, but then I saw your profile picture
      EDIT: Their picture has since been changed.

    • @Whazzupie
      @Whazzupie Před 3 lety +87

      @@Alizudo That's about as shallow as you can get, beyond even mentioning the fact; as if anyone would care :Y

    • @prest01
      @prest01 Před 3 lety +45

      @@Alizudo im a shitpost channel, hope that explains it

    • @ultrabell517
      @ultrabell517 Před 3 lety +13

      @@Alizudo unfathomably based

  • @ChromePyramid
    @ChromePyramid Před 3 lety +2666

    "I grew up poor we couldn't afford crayons let alone paper to draw on"
    -Mark _probably_

    • @quinton1630
      @quinton1630 Před 3 lety +73

      “We used to warm a rock with our butts, then we’d cook food on the warm rock. My dad used to warm the butt rock in the morning”
      “Alexa call dad”
      “Dad not found in your contacts”
      o _o . _ .

    • @aicrowIey
      @aicrowIey Před 3 lety +7

      @@quinton1630 his dad died when Mark was 19 if thats what youre confused abt

    • @nayaritsoleil7929
      @nayaritsoleil7929 Před 3 lety +18

      @@aicrowIey They're making a reference to Unus Annus

    • @aicrowIey
      @aicrowIey Před 3 lety +1

      @@nayaritsoleil7929 yep ik i watched it all and still have access to the vids lol

    • @fickletooth
      @fickletooth Před 3 lety +3

      @@aicrowIey wait, that's illegal

  • @krisnatherryano4610
    @krisnatherryano4610 Před 3 lety +30

    Inspector : its clearly stamped there
    Also inspector : (stamped reason right on top of the denial)

  • @fireccts9089
    @fireccts9089 Před 3 lety +28

    ‘You could've burnt a piece of wood and used it as a charcoal crayon’ I'm surprised he didn't bring up how poor he was as a child

  • @mariocardenas1833
    @mariocardenas1833 Před 3 lety +409

    I love how jack was beyond sad when his little potato man got caught with drugs but mark was like give me a cut of the profits and we're good

    • @annana6098
      @annana6098 Před 3 lety +121

      Mark seems to have picked up one of the themes of the game, that you don't get paid enough to survive, so you start creatively acquiring money in any way that doesn't get you in too much trouble. When you play this way, Potato man becomes a good friend and is always safe to let in and will help you later if you fail the rebels storyline. Jack tried to play loyal to the government, which I guess is probably the most common way for a first play through.

    • @colecube8251
      @colecube8251 Před 3 lety +44

      @@annana6098 I love how you two are calling him potato man LMAO

    • @slowbrodragon6951
      @slowbrodragon6951 Před 3 lety +40

      "Noo potato man, you were always my favorite!"

    • @opticpower7542
      @opticpower7542 Před 3 lety +9

      @@annana6098 and that’s why he became king of arstotzka

    • @barry8871
      @barry8871 Před 3 lety +8

      @@annana6098 jack try to help the Order but fail their tasks so he turn his back to them, I was hoping he would get the Ezic ending tho 😂

  • @lauraorta4378
    @lauraorta4378 Před 3 lety +9

    My fav part about this series is the consistent body positivity Mark radiates. From the “YOU DONT KNOW THAT!” and being uncomfortable asking someone’s gender, to the “Overweight? According to who?” comment and its heartwarming to me.

  • @atsukiri2nd361
    @atsukiri2nd361 Před 3 lety +22

    14:35 "I shot a dude today"
    ngl I thought Mark's gonna say "dont think I won't do the same thing to you!"

  • @sneakyninja3704
    @sneakyninja3704 Před 3 lety +1019

    Damn the security guard didn't even flinch at the bomb Mark had. What a badass

    • @werefoxhun3839
      @werefoxhun3839 Před 3 lety +5

      Like your profile pic doge

    • @sneakyninja3704
      @sneakyninja3704 Před 3 lety +5

      @@werefoxhun3839 Another Doge! hurrah!

    • @salottin
      @salottin Před 3 lety +21

      And also lets the guy defuse it with little instructions

    • @HydroSheep
      @HydroSheep Před 3 lety +9

      @Joshua Wakefield thats what my dad calls me

    • @suelthekidd
      @suelthekidd Před 3 lety

      @@HydroSheep Tuff 🤣

  • @user-tp7ry2iz2m
    @user-tp7ry2iz2m Před 3 lety +517

    terrorist: gives inspector an active bomb
    Guard: *"oh, hah."*

    • @AngelWingsYT
      @AngelWingsYT Před 3 lety +11

      Meanwhile mark: WE HAVE TO EVALUATE WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS OMG PLEASE TAKE THIS FROM ME HELP

    • @AngelWingsYT
      @AngelWingsYT Před 3 lety +1

      @Ez Abrar 👍 remember kiddies! Check out the bomb n deactivate it yourself no need to bother bomb squads

  • @juliacornejo7802
    @juliacornejo7802 Před 3 lety +32

    Mark telling his son how to gather colors instead of wasting money on crayons was the best parenting moment I´ve ever seen

  • @abbyshowalter7224
    @abbyshowalter7224 Před 3 lety +43

    The kid needs crayons.... When Mark was a kid he had to cook on a butt stone..... oh how times have changes 😫😫😫

  • @bigmanbean5401
    @bigmanbean5401 Před 3 lety +558

    “What are these crayons?! I shot a dude today, I can get you the red!”
    JESUS MARK

    • @Zayindjejfj
      @Zayindjejfj Před 3 lety +10

      Mark would be a firm, yet loving father.
      Mostly firm though.

    • @redtheraider2227
      @redtheraider2227 Před 3 lety +1

      R/technicallythetruth

    • @diegopeart
      @diegopeart Před 3 lety +4

      "and you can stuff yourself with food, and then you puke, then you get GREEN."
      ROFLCOPTER

  • @NavnikBHSilver
    @NavnikBHSilver Před 3 lety +952

    That moment you realize that crayons are worth more than the life of the guy mark shot the same day.

    • @orange7153
      @orange7153 Před 3 lety +13

      @Eric Lane it is

    • @Rahul_Sastry
      @Rahul_Sastry Před 3 lety +3

      If you know A certain ending, it sure doesn't kill a man.

    • @GBS4893
      @GBS4893 Před 3 lety +9

      He was tranquilized though. He'll die later on.

  • @wbivengeance
    @wbivengeance Před 3 lety +19

    "if i was able to give him a card it must be all good"
    the literal first engineer he gave a card to blew himself up lmao

    • @smam9571
      @smam9571 Před 4 měsíci

      sorry to reply to an old comment but i think it might have just been a weird cut in the video? the engineer was from united fed and the bomber said “for kolechia”, then messof said he got 4 calls which would be a bit difficult if 1/4 was dead lol. engineers will always have the correct papers in messof’s window of time (though sometimes theyll say the wrong visit purpose or duration) so yea lol

  • @VenomQuill
    @VenomQuill Před 2 lety +10

    I love Jorji. "It's not weapons, it's drugs!" That's way better, man.

  • @artsyariii
    @artsyariii Před 3 lety +1091

    what we learned from this episode: Mark's virtual son has an expensive taste for crayola.

  • @paperrunway
    @paperrunway Před 3 lety +379

    Mark: "If I gave him a card it must be good"
    The last time he gave an engineer a card: "FOR KOLECHIAAAAA" *boom*

    • @kitsunami7251
      @kitsunami7251 Před 3 lety +23

      They actually answered differently to the card than the other engineers, though

  • @igino1948
    @igino1948 Před 3 lety +18

    Imagine showing the rules to someone who's carrying explosives, and yell him: "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT??!?!?"

  • @Gabowsk
    @Gabowsk Před 3 lety +17

    Dimitri is the perfect portrait of every congressman ever:
    "A bomb?"
    "WHAT ABOUT THE ECONOMY?!"
    "I mean... MY ECONOMY!"

    • @genghiskhan4883
      @genghiskhan4883 Před 3 lety

      i think his name is calensk but im not sure

    • @quentincoetzee4313
      @quentincoetzee4313 Před 3 lety

      @@genghiskhan4883 It is Calensk. Dimitri is actually the name of the MOA supervisor.

  • @ellac1899
    @ellac1899 Před 3 lety +459

    “I don’t like ur tone”
    “Oh yeah *well i don’t like your face* “
    *Now turn towards the scanner*

  • @joannadzenowski6214
    @joannadzenowski6214 Před 3 lety +423

    "You have all the colors of the rainbow inside ur body, u just have to extract them!"
    - Markiplier 2021

  • @NathanTheMan
    @NathanTheMan Před 3 lety +21

    “I don’t make the rules. In fact I don’t even enforce them half the time.”

  • @matthewgoff2825
    @matthewgoff2825 Před 3 lety +26

    Gotta love that most of the series so far is us watching him replay through parts because he messed up

  • @jih2453
    @jih2453 Před 3 lety +1780

    Mark: "Dang that's a lot for crayons!"
    Also Mark: buys the crayons

    • @quinton1630
      @quinton1630 Před 3 lety +142

      Mark: “THIS IS A WHOLE MONTH’S RENT! What kind of crayons are these?!”
      Also Mark: buys the crayons for his son
      He’s got ultimate dad energy.

    • @carsonfujita-turnbull4549
      @carsonfujita-turnbull4549 Před 3 lety +33

      Parent logic

    • @pineappleparty1624
      @pineappleparty1624 Před 3 lety +25

      As an adult, I still get excited looking at the overkill crayon kits at the store.

    • @lapislazuli06
      @lapislazuli06 Před 3 lety +12

      And after that whole rant 😂

    • @CaLypSO4456
      @CaLypSO4456 Před 2 lety +12

      Awww that was sweet tho….

  • @HexIsme
    @HexIsme Před 3 lety +424

    All of this just makes me _really_ happy that Mark isn't in charge of home security.
    "You're a drug dealer? Sure you can come in, I like you."

  • @Arachninja752
    @Arachninja752 Před 3 lety +14

    This has probably been said a million times now, but my God, Lixian is just such an amazing editor. Mark's videos are legit so much more entertaining because of him.

  • @shawnzomc
    @shawnzomc Před rokem +9

    "I SHOT A DUDE TODAY!" 14:30 had me cracking up

  • @chadcruz4097
    @chadcruz4097 Před 3 lety +610

    "If my son becomes a priest do I call him son or father"
    -Father.

    • @benedettachiappini8617
      @benedettachiappini8617 Před 3 lety +2

      Him-

    • @otakukun1755
      @otakukun1755 Před 3 lety +1

      ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵘᵇˢᶜʳᶦᵇᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ ʷʰᵒ ˢᵘᵇˢᶜʳᶦᵇᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ˡᶦᵏᵉˢ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉⁿᵗ...🌯

    • @cornonthecob3051
      @cornonthecob3051 Před 3 lety +3

      Yes

    • @lisakanzira6765
      @lisakanzira6765 Před 3 lety +10

      Oh boy, time to think about this for the rest of the night :'D

    • @ptrq3743
      @ptrq3743 Před 3 lety +2

      Can someone assist me in sabotaging geegeetee?

  • @Gortall
    @Gortall Před 3 lety +1998

    I know we're used to it by now, but man does Lixian do a good job editing these. The part at 18:15 where music slows to a stop when Mark gets suspicious and then gets back to speed two seconds later because it's a false alarm is such a little thing but makes watching Mark even more enjoyable. They're just so good at what they do.

    • @keithpatterson3250
      @keithpatterson3250 Před 3 lety +19

      Yeah for the most part but the 11:26 edit was unnecessary and breaks immersion sadly, we don’t even get to see the document w/ the discrepancy and apparently 18:11 & 18:41 same thing 😑

    • @lucasfraczek4320
      @lucasfraczek4320 Před 3 lety +87

      @@keithpatterson3250 We don't care.

    • @ashtonfrost5753
      @ashtonfrost5753 Před 3 lety +36

      Lixian appreciation!

    • @athena_xiii
      @athena_xiii Před 3 lety +36

      WE LOVE LIXIAN

    • @jollybear_wastaken
      @jollybear_wastaken Před 3 lety +9

      Does Lixian use they pronouns? I just want to make sure I haven't been getting it wrong

  • @zivarhymeswithdiva871
    @zivarhymeswithdiva871 Před 3 lety +5

    14:18 I can’t wait till mark has a kid to hear and see this

  • @shortberry_strawcake3877
    @shortberry_strawcake3877 Před 3 lety +6

    14:07
    I had to pause it and laugh for 5 minutes before continuing
    Mark yelling about crayons gave me life

  • @harsh595
    @harsh595 Před 3 lety +428

    Mark losing his shit on overpriced toys is the most real Dad thing I've seen.

  • @Jaden_The_Celestial
    @Jaden_The_Celestial Před 3 lety +319

    Mark saying he’ll never let Sergiu (green guy) die.
    Me: **sweating heavily** “You better keep that fucking promise, Mark! You better KEEP IT!!!”

    • @vordjoncus
      @vordjoncus Před 3 lety +17

      You know what they say about the Markiplier Promise...

    • @user-dt3ms7vb5x
      @user-dt3ms7vb5x Před 3 lety +3

      @Jacob Sanford I do not plan on clicking read more until I finish the video.

    • @jaspertyler4557
      @jaspertyler4557 Před 3 lety +9

      I kept that promise. I reset time twice to keep that promise. Sergui is such a nice guy, that I will not let him die under any circumstance.

    • @MidnaAzusa
      @MidnaAzusa Před 3 lety +1

      @@jaspertyler4557 I reset two or three times to keep that promise. Even stopped checking people's papers when it got close to time so I could move quicker. I love Sergiu too much to let him die.

    • @jackporter815
      @jackporter815 Před 3 lety

      @@MidnaAzusa respect

  • @sierraarmstead7665
    @sierraarmstead7665 Před 3 lety +7

    I swear I’m gonna be so sad when this series ends, papers please was one of my favorite games that Jack played, and to watch Mark put his humor into it, is just amazing 💕

  • @dribmot
    @dribmot Před 2 lety +12

    It was jorjis bday also 17:46

  • @Zero_Loras
    @Zero_Loras Před 3 lety +319

    "I SHOT A DUDE TODAY! I COULD'VE GOTTEN YOU SOME RED"
    w h a t

    • @TheAngelinahuang
      @TheAngelinahuang Před 3 lety +2

      I guess, blood?

    • @oatmeal3013
      @oatmeal3013 Před 3 lety +1

      he means the blood can be used as red coloring

    • @Zero_Loras
      @Zero_Loras Před 3 lety +1

      I know it's just...brutal af lmao but thanks u two

  • @IkerUnzu
    @IkerUnzu Před 3 lety +676

    I LOVE these videoooossss !!!

  • @SpaceMillingo
    @SpaceMillingo Před rokem +6

    14:00 his laughs suddenly shifted into jingle bells

  • @dkjcb3993
    @dkjcb3993 Před 3 lety +11

    Markiplier: When I was a boy, we didn't have crayons, we had only the fluids of our own body.

  • @troyscribner4342
    @troyscribner4342 Před 3 lety +597

    I love how mark is just slowly losing his sanity.

    • @kittycatlily7525
      @kittycatlily7525 Před 3 lety +9

      Thought he already lost it-

    • @EthanMeatan
      @EthanMeatan Před 3 lety +9

      Arent we all..?

    • @user-xb1ls7pv6e
      @user-xb1ls7pv6e Před 3 lety +1

      @@EthanMeatan yeah aren’t we all losing our insanity bc all of us are always inside for like 1 month and then finally coming out (except for parents)

    • @admincreepergames7242
      @admincreepergames7242 Před 3 lety +2

      The moment I saw the title I knew what was up XD Man went ham

    • @troyscribner4342
      @troyscribner4342 Před 3 lety

      @@EthanMeatan yup :D

  • @kagemushashien8394
    @kagemushashien8394 Před 3 lety +701

    I like how lexian pulls to the boat and seagulls, it just resembles Marks imagination

    • @cloud_sauce
      @cloud_sauce Před 3 lety +18

      I like that edit too, though it was Nerd Fiction, not Lixian, that edited this video :)

    • @alexplaysminc.-.5922
      @alexplaysminc.-.5922 Před 3 lety +17

      @@cloud_sauce They co-edited the video though I feel like the boat-seagulls thing is Nerd Fiction

    • @cloud_sauce
      @cloud_sauce Před 3 lety +7

      @@alexplaysminc.-.5922 Oh, you're right. Didn't think to click "show more" on the description. Thanks for the correction ^^

    • @kagemushashien8394
      @kagemushashien8394 Před 3 lety +4

      @@cloud_sauce they both need some blessings

    • @alexplaysminc.-.5922
      @alexplaysminc.-.5922 Před 3 lety +1

      @@gayjayy Yeah, you're probably right. For most of the co-edited videos you can tell the gag and editing aren't quite Lixian's style (or something to that effect- I don't know how to explain it but it does feel a little different) so probably.

  • @noahleonard2481
    @noahleonard2481 Před 3 lety +5

    “Those crayons are more than food we can’t eat those.”
    Titan mains: I beg to differ

  • @KaylynWasHere
    @KaylynWasHere Před 3 lety +10

    "Learn to adapt with the tools that you have, CHilD!! CRAYONS $25 craYONS?? Goddamn, that's a whole month of rent!!I Or day i guess, that's a whole day of rent!! I shot a dude today, I coulda gotten you some red!! 14:25 😹😹

  • @Leongon
    @Leongon Před 3 lety +397

    So is canon that Mark is recording from a boat and he scares the seagulls when he starts screaming? xD

  • @themeeze298
    @themeeze298 Před 3 lety +8

    10:14 The face on the purple card totally didn’t match XD

  • @officialwyattthesans12345
    @officialwyattthesans12345 Před 3 lety +13

    17:46
    Plot twist: Markiplier didn't want to detain the poor guy because he's afraid Jack might yell at him.

  • @kobe86
    @kobe86 Před 3 lety +221

    That son better have drawn a picture better than picaso making me buy a 20 dollar caryon set

    • @thibautisserant
      @thibautisserant Před 3 lety +22

      Maybe sell the kid's pictures. If he draws 30, each sold for 1 Arztotzkan dollar, you might make enough to buy even another set for him and then sell the pictures for 2 Arztotzkan dollars.

    • @king-xz2ls
      @king-xz2ls Před 3 lety +2

      @@thibautisserant STONKS

    • @king-xz2ls
      @king-xz2ls Před 3 lety

      god damn you liked that comment quick

    • @thibautisserant
      @thibautisserant Před 3 lety +1

      @@king-xz2ls Stonks need to go fast tbh

    • @gavrochethenardier957
      @gavrochethenardier957 Před 3 lety

      @@thibautisserant that's so cute but unfortunately I have this superpowers that makes it that when I like a comment it becomes -1 like instead of 1 like so either it cancels my like or removes a like. This means that I killed your like.
      I am the true dark villain in this story

  • @willie4825
    @willie4825 Před 3 lety +165

    I thought Mark was gonna make up a backstory about how his family couldn’t afford crayons when he was younger.

  • @X-SPONGED
    @X-SPONGED Před 3 lety +6

    15:16
    Mark : *saves Sergio once*
    Game : *loads up fire bombers*
    "There's more where that came from"

  • @Bimgus9
    @Bimgus9 Před 3 lety +12

    mark getting mad at his son for wanting expensive crayons gives me life

  • @DerivativeWorker
    @DerivativeWorker Před 3 lety +78

    "What is this?"
    "Those are drugs! I run a side business."
    That guy is always a delight.

  • @nightcoremusic69
    @nightcoremusic69 Před 3 lety +1306

    Can we all just appreciate the fact that markiplier daily uploads for us to enjoy

  • @TheKillerqueen40
    @TheKillerqueen40 Před 3 lety +4

    When he said his son drew him a picture, I just pictured him holding a pawprint painting and Henry sitting there like "i drew dis for you, dad, I love you"

  • @lfvgamerbro
    @lfvgamerbro Před 3 lety +7

    16:46 I guess you can say, they aren’t IMPORtant 🥁🥁🔔

  • @PresidentAutumn
    @PresidentAutumn Před 3 lety +288

    Mark to Sirgiu: “You’re probably gonna die”
    Everyone who watched Sean: *cries in the corner*

    • @king-xz2ls
      @king-xz2ls Před 3 lety +14

      and everyone who dident knows now lol

    • @PresidentAutumn
      @PresidentAutumn Před 3 lety +16

      @Francisco Reyes Terrorist attack if you’re not quick enough

    • @jaspertyler4557
      @jaspertyler4557 Před 3 lety +9

      I don't cry at that, because i actually saved him. I had to reset time twice, but still.

    • @rhunter42dragon
      @rhunter42dragon Před 3 lety +3

      @@jaspertyler4557 Good man! You're a hero!👍

    • @mochamikuct1567
      @mochamikuct1567 Před 3 lety

      i know right 😭

  • @themuslimblerd
    @themuslimblerd Před 3 lety +154

    "I SHOT A GUY TODAY. I COULDA GOT YOU SOME RED" genuinely made me choke.