Thief Simulator
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- čas přidán 20. 02. 2021
- Thief Simulator allows you to do exactly as you might expect from the title of the game. If someone can't figure that out NO ONE HELP THEM IN THE COMMENTS.
JOIN THE BAKE SALE ► czcams.com/users/markiplierjoin
Play Thief Simulator ► store.steampowered.com/app/70...
Edited By ► / rad_r
And ► / lixiantv
Awesome Games Playlist ► • Awesome Games!
Happy Outro ► / minimusicman-crazy-la-... - Hry
imagine you just got in bed and you have a long day of work tomorrow. then your window opens and you see a man crawl through. you start screaming, he starts screaming and proceeds to pick the lock of your bedroom door. then he runs down the hallway and smashes your toilet and drives away
bruh
Best thief ever.
I would help him lol
Goddamit not that type of monday again
yeah he just stands there picking the lock not moving at all right you guys were screaming
Mark: Almost too easy
Also Mark: Gets caught in an abandoned house with no people around
Holup
He plays hard mode and then complains about getting caught because he can’t see people and their view cones on the minimap
How did he get caught with no people
@@grundlefoot spidey sense
lol
POV: You are in your house peacefully and you see this man breaking in through your window and hopping in and then taking his time picking a lock while you are behind the thief. a few seconds later, the theif shouts, "TERLIT" from the top of his lungs and you see your toilet broken into pieces. Last thing you know, the thief parkours out of the window.
24:52
I appreciate the time stamp :)
It's the second time this has happened to me this week...
For the idiots who don't understand sarcasme This is what we call "a joke".
@@Corindon don’t worry we all understand sarcasm here
@@TheSucram729 Why do y'all bring Dream into everything that doesn't have anything to do with him or his fans💀 It's annoying as hell, no need to be toxic about content creators
@@lusiferm1187 yes need
So I noticed something. The lock he picked when he woke up the couple, breaking into their bedroom in the middle of the god damn night, was locked from outside the bedroom. They were completely trapped in their own room, if it was their room, and Mark SAVED THEM! Then he broke their captivator's toilet as a last "fuck you". Thief Mark is a hero.
That's why they had the window open, to get out in the morning 🤣
Wait, you're on to something
“I signed up to be a thief, not an asshole.” -Markiplier 2021
Uh.... yes, he said that
@@Lofi.z34 funny quote is funny
@@spiritvdc5109 QUOTE IS QUOTE
also me in 2021
"PROFESSIONALS, HAVE STANDARDS" - sniper 2009
I can't believe Stan the Waterman made a cameo.
Same 😂
I couldn't believe my ears when he said Stan I screamed "Stan the waterman!" :,)
@@ghostinmug8967 what’s the reference?
@@sugarbear4865 marks gta 5 role play
Good reference
"Lixian, somehow make this entire intro better than it was. At all."
He succeeded. By making an appearance. Best tag team effort ever.
I thought Lixian was a female
@@jacobmurphy5109 Nope
Reading this when he said it
I searched a whole five comments specifically to find one like this
Markiplier casually walking into a back yard to break into a house and finds a summoning circle of gnomes
the Council
@@damianmrocznyWill decide your fate.
No more mama.....no more mama....
Imagine a man breaks into your home and screams "where's your toilet" and then proceeds to smash said toilet lol
Police: "Ma'am, can you tell us exactly what happened?"
Woman, sobbing: "I was trying to sleep when they broke in.. A-and they just kept shouting, 'WHERE'S YOUR TOILET?!' over and over... that was when they ran into my bathroom and smashed it.." Snot runs down her face and it appears she is having trouble breathing as she cries. Her voice strained and shaky, she whispers, "...Rest in peace.. my beloved toilet... you will be missed."
I’d probably tell him thank you awkwardly as he left
imagine waking up to a man just trying to lock pick your bathroom is Hurley as possible and is not even trying to interact with you at all and once he leaves your house he just find out that all he wanted to do is break your toilet I'd be confused not even mad
Dems some real secret sleepover vibes.
Dunno if I should call the cops or grab a popcorn
“i’m not that good a thief”
makes a youtube original called a heist with markiplier
Actor mark: steals one of the most protected and guarded items known to man
Mark in this: panicked confusion
You can say it's a... "Heist with Markiplier!"
(Ba dum ksh!)
@@pinoy_boy6112 Had no mouth.
I see you were convinced by Chica simulator as well.
You're not wrong lol
"Why do I gotta break stuff?"
Well... you got bailed from prison by a mafia family. Mafia always wants stuff broken so it needs fixing, and then get _their_ guys hired to fix it. Your thief's just being used to create demand. 👏
*Lombardi:* The stuff in your house looks pretty bad, want my nephew to fix them?
*Neighbor:* No thanks, everything is still new.
*Mark:* BLAM BLAM BLAM
*Lombardi:* So, about fixing your stuff...
This game is actually really fun it would've been nice to see him try to break into the harder places or for him to react to the story. It throws you for a loop that you dont expect.
wait is there actually story lol, the vinny phone calls never happened for me when i was playing so i just went around robbing and learned everything on my own
Bro fr, especially when the guards start walking around on the street
yeah i played the vr version of this and its really fun and Realistic
I don't remembrer a Heist with Markiplier being like this
Yeah, and this isn't much like watching Stan and Friendly Jimmy rob houses either
I love ur pfp ❤!
I don’t remember it being successful
Yeah I personally remember a lot more boulders
I dont remember it ever work well
“Mom can we have a Heist with Markiplier?”
“We have a Heist with Markiplier at home”
A Heist with Markiplier at home:
Lol underrated comment
Mouthful
This is my favourite comment now
Hahahaha, I love it!
da
Mark: Editor, who I am paying to edit this video, please edit this so that I seem smart.
Lixian: Best I can do is no
25:00 I love how markiplier finds out they are still there and continues lock picking their door
"I signed up to be a thief, not an asshole."
Professionals have standards
facts
be polite
be efficient
have a plan to kill everyone you meet
I mean, He's just stealing their joy at that point. Or sense of security. Actually probably both.
@@mastergreenfox6004 Ya like jazz?
@@jennsmith3177 seduce spyyy
If there isn’t a character in heist 2 named Vinny who’s accent changes every 2 seconds I’m going to be very disappointed.
Why is Vinny always the bad guy?
But yes I do want to see that
People need to like this and make this a thing
Heist 2: Electric Boogaloo
@@dao_of_potato4957 Electric Avenue
@@thatonedude-6819 yes
news report: TOILET BREAKERS: A man has been running around greenvile and terrorizing the locals by running inside and breaking their toilets and yelling loudly, police have not been able to catch up to his 20 dollar car.
Mark is so chill now compared to his old videos where he just screams the whole time
He has matured
"I gotta steal Christmas? That's horrible!" said the man who loves The Grinch.
Martha may whovier. Idk how to spell the last name...
MaRtHa MaYhOo
Jebus crust your profile of Arin scares me
Unus annus
Why am I crying laughing at Mark getting instantly caught sneaking in through someones window to break their toilet? :')
"they just fixed this window! Well that not gonna last long-" "*haboosh*"
Mark is the only guy that would say he doesn't trust the people he's robbing
I mean, well. He could be robbing a Mafia Family?..
Theifs is a big challenge..if you get caught by police then no coming back
I would kind of say that too though....
oop. 666 likes lol
“I got bailed out of prison for this?”
(Faint sound of “I Don’t Wanna Be Free” plays in the distance)
"There's Timmy the timber and *cant remember* " "don't forget about the s*** in the tank" "Toast!!" "I don't wanna be teaaa" That's all I remember from that lol
@@sk3tch_art1st35 who can forget a timeless classic 😂
@@mar-707 No one could forget I don't wanna be tea!! It's too good of a song!! XD
My immediate thoughts
@@sk3tch_art1st35 "i dont wanna be seen! Cause I dont wanna be tea"
Mark establishing himself as the LAST person you would EVER need for part of your crew as a professional thief. ALSO Mark: Having a crisis of conscience while playing a professional thief.
Imagine living in that neighborhood and seeing a dude open his car door,whisper “no I gotta open it slowly”,open it again, start driving,look at a pedestrian and say “Stan” *(echoing)Stan Stan Stan*
I was Rick rolled by a profile picture
Mark: *”Be very quiet”*
Also Mark: *SLURRRRRP*
That didn't last long!
@@PSVitaat2am Yeah😂
Tell me that didn't remind you of Elmer Fudd going "Be vewy Quiet. I'm hunting wabbits". XD
Imagine, like, someone waking you up in the middle of the night, running through your house, picking a lock in no hasty fashion, and then only breaking your toilet.
Lol
That, and, as soon as they woke up he yelled at the top of his lungs "WHERE'S YOUR TOILET?"
Mark on the entirety of the video:
*Everyone is stupid except me*
I love how mark legit says EVERYTHING in his head and that's why he is so relatable and we love him for it.
ADHD and being a CZcamsr does that
This man doesn’t even realize that in 11 hours he’s going to break his foot.
Yes
Someone should warn him.
@@daemonspade3980 don’t worry I paused it
Wdym?
Right??
Plot twist: He’s playing this to train because heist 2 is gonna be a real heist.
Fudge yeah!
while we were looking at yt, he studied the gun
Hell yeah!
This is definitely not like actual stealing lol
Well, this should be interesting then, with his now broken foot
being a thief is something not everyone could do, and that no one could do better than mark. stealth skills definitely above the maximum level.
mark, yelling over the fence to the person hes gonna rob: hEEEEY HOW DO I GO TO SLEEP?
Hearing mark say "Almost too easy" is like hearing Michael Rosen say "Noice."
i readed this when mark said almost too easy perfect timing
@@Madness.the.one.. Almost too easy
Didnt think i would see you doc love your vids
oh shit its skipwith lmao
N. N n n. Kn. N. N. Kk
Markiplier: Stan?
Me: The water man? whose son happens to be Roy the water boy? never heard of him.
I yelled out the water man excited af lol
Hope he brings him back one day!!!
Succulent baby boy Roy
35:02 Fuck, I love Lixian.
I honestly would like more of this
Edit: 100% Mark needs to play more if this! I got it myself and its addictive as hell
well it can teach me how to steal someones heart
In that case, I will highly recommend play persona 5, it will teach how to get waifus and steal people's heart
I know the fastest way to a woman's heart.
@@sorryimlate3830 jiraiya book?
DISCORD CZcams MAN. HELLO
@@Revoen chidori😔
Mark: *will happily break people’s windows and steal their belongings*
Also Mark: *thinks that he’s being a terrible person by breaking people’s plates and toilets*
you never break plates or toilets, that is gay - Tsung Tzu
edit: holy shit people just take a joke
@@therealbeeve Whats wrong w being gay?
@@ary550 The meme community has turned gay into a word that replaces bad or terrible. Doesn't mean you're insulting homosexuals, it just means you're saying something is bad.
@@failedtalent1018 Haha IK, it's just a terrible "meme" imo and its not funny at all. Prepubescent boy humor really
@@ary550 Yeah I know what you mean. I'm still in high school so I hear a lot of boys use the word gay in basically every sentence. It's incredibly annoying.
18:57 imagine if you sitting on your porch and you hear this
Plot twist: Mark was recording this in a another person’s house.
He’s robbing while HE IS PLAYING A GAME ABOUT ROBBING.
Mark: *Drives on sidewalks*
Also Mark: *Is surprised when he almost hits people walking*
Oh that's me every day
Stan???
Mr newb uh.. pardon?
Exactly.
@@mrnewb4725 how did you get your drivers license....you know what I’m just gonna, forget that.......
Mark: wants to be a thief
Also mark: “I don’t wanna be an asshole”
He's gotta choose one
A thief does something bad for a reason (to get money).
Breaking plates has no reason behind it.
Unneccesary stuff = Asshole
Even though he’s already said he’s an asshole in a different video 😂
@@TheLibermania wellll robbing someone is unnecessary.....just get a job
@@TheLibermania you’re probably just joking, but just in case, I feel like I should clarify that you are in fact an asshole if you steal.
25:29 pause before you press, HES JUST IN THE CORNER.
I imagine a thief peaking over my fence watching me, and then yelling: HEY HOW DO I GO TO SLEEP!!?
Imagine you just went to bed when suddenly a guy jumps in through your window, runs to your bathroom, breaks your toilet and just runs back out.
sounds like a very "Florida man" thing
can’t have shit in detroit
@@lazyperfectionist3978 I'm offended
@@rahmat4848 Good
@@rahmat4848 uhh, why?
Mark: "Stan?!?"
Everyone here: "the waterman? Who's son happens to be roy the water boy?"
Sorry I don't get the reference
I laughed so hard when he said that. Stan must be delivering water to all the people in need in that neighborhood.
@@veronicaoviedo711 you should watch stan the waterman ! its one of markipliers uploads from about two years ago ? its really funny !!
Hahahaha yes 👏
@@veronicaoviedo711 he did 2 episodes on a GTA V RP server
25:00 Imagine being this person, a random dude dressed in black leather comes into your house, screaming, stops and takes time to pick a lock, sprints into your bathroom, smashes your toilet with a crowbar, then jumps back out the window and drives off- I-
I can imitate Mark’s “Hello Everyone” thingy for when he doesn’t say it.
Mark: "Because I know how to steal things"
Everyone Else: "Heist with Markiplier"
Me: "One of the last episodes of Unus Annus where he and Ethan stole all of those sex toys"
And committed adultery!
Lmao
We all got his back!
*GASP HE KNOWS, THEY DELETED IT TO HIDE EVIDENCE, HOW..... ?
The beginning of that video was a trip.
“Hey, it’s me, Vinny. Go break this guys plates. Teach him a lesson.” *in a thick Italian accent*
Hahahaha, I loled'!
Ok Vinny
That guy didn't give Vinny the spaghetti he ordered
mark: "I kNow HoW To SteAL ThiNGs... NoO i DoNt"
me: que the FBI open up meme
Based on the missions it seems like it would have made more sense to call the game "Burglar Simulator" since the focus is really more on breaking and entering than the actual stealing aspect.
This simulator series just keeps getting better and better
Wait a second, a person with a checkmark
Who are you
It's like low-key my favourite thing to watch rn XD
I want to steal you
Any expectations for forest episodes?
Everyday we get closer to a theft with Markiplier, but now your just teasing
Ok.
MARKIPLIER
@@NAXTY shut up BUG
wait that’s a thing
@@NAXTY You literally did the thing you said it wasnt going to be
Me: Asleep at 5pm
Mark: “Breaks in” TOLIETTT
Me: watching Mark play theif simulator
ad: theif simulator mobile
me: well that's intersting.
Family: sitting in living room enjoying Christmas.
Markiplier: HELLO EVERYBODY my name is Markiplier and welcome back to, im stealing your shit
@@FirstNameLastNameFirstName did u even watch the video?
@@cookiecat7163 yes and I now get the joke I just forgot to delete the comment
Let's see how many subscribers would I get from this comment will you help me?
Current: 760
@@trendingtens468 bruh no stop
@Chris hasexploded youre right, i cant remember the last tim i enjoyed Christmas...
He's training for A Heist with Markiplier 2. His dedication is impressive.
👀
Oh? 👀✨
Markimoo: "Why is there a beer in the drawer?"
*laughs in alcoholic*
13:00 No man, you break their old crappy stuff and a couple weeks later, steal the new replacement stuff.
Just when the world seems to have run out of hope, he returns to us.
*Stan the Water Man*
I was so happy when he said that for some reason
We need a return of Stan video so bad
Markiplier: shhh I’m stealing things
The people getting robbed: *understandable have a nice day*
Yesss!! Lol
Dead memee 😕
Mark: Be very quite
Also mark: **drinks super loud**
Mark: "My ability to sleep 14 hours in a row at any given time-"
*omg same*
That "accent" sounds like the voice actor is TRYING to do a "New York" or maybe "Boston" accent, but they have never actually been to either place so they keep slipping between the two and their actual accent
its supposed to be an italian "wiseguy" accent to sound like an italian mobster
@@manymadmidgetzz6293 Thats the same thing lol
@@manymadmidgetzz6293 i'm italian and i've never heard that accent before
@@j0JP yeah i think they meant the typical italian american accent front new york
Wasn't that supposed to foreshadow the fact that vinny would end up killing the thief guy at the end?
Or am I reading too far into it?
"I'm very thirsty" Thinking about Dimitrescu again, are we.
No I’m not
i mean you are giga chad.
3:00 I just LOVE Metal Gear Game Over scenes
"my ability to sleep 14 hours in a row at any given time" hey, thats literally me
Imagine explaining to the police that a robber broke in your house just to break your toilet
Or your dishes
They probably wouldn't take you very seriously.
Or a window, lol
Oh my god, when he said "Stan?!" I almost cried, miss that man so much
Stan the water man?
@@bacon5331 stan lee
@@ashleybarnes9343 no stan the water man
@@ashleybarnes9343 Fanny pack, don’t you know him?
I have a picture signed by Stan Lee
can someone explain to me how mark is legit the most egotastic person ever but yet he is also one of the nicest and most considerate person you'll ever meet
its almost like he acts egoistically as a joke
His egotistical persona is a joke
Mark: "This whole thief thing is a lot of work
Someone else: professionals have standards
"I'm not a masochist!"
Picks hard mode immediately.
Oh my lordddddd wait-
lmao. he just gives us more proof with every video he makes
@@dewitter323 lol, exactly. Each video he makes half the comments are just showing how he is a masochist.
You don't pick hard mode?
@@Wildnose1337 I'm not against hard mode, but mark claimed hes not a masochist wich is TOATALLY true.
Mark picking out a random NPC on the sidewalk, "STAN?!"
Everybody liked that.
you saw stan the waterman right? that npc looks just like him
W A T E R
It wasn’t random it was because Stan is the character he plays in gta
@Nathaniel Pease there may be a stan reference in heist 2 when he makes it, but im pretty sure mark is simpler than that, he see stan he call out stan
@Nathaniel Pease heehoo still makes me laugh
markiplier is like the only solid content I watch anymore, and I'm truly grateful
I can't imagine in the complete pandemonium what the reaction would be of people when a guy breaks into their house, runs around holding a crowbar and screaming "Wheres your toilet!" 🤣
Mark: “Be very quiet”
Also Mark: * slurps aggressively *
@@kingswish9595 👁️👄👁️ rlly?
@@kingswish9595 And you deserve 0 subs because you had the audacity to beg
@@kingswish9595 bruh-
yea that's the joke
@@kingswish9595 bot shut up
Mark: "Never played this game."
Also Mark: *Picks Hard mode right off the bat* "I don't even care if I never figure out how to play this game."
...Oh. It's gonna be one of those videos.
28:48 I never knew Mark had such talent.
25:24 what a stupid thing to do by a theif lol
Mark: *Plays Thief Simulator*
Me: “He has to be prepared for the second heist since the first one didn’t really work out as planned”
Lol
lolll exactly
What ever happened to those zombies I wonder?
Gabriella i literally see your comments on every mark vid i watch lol
PLEASE MAKE A SERIES OUT OF THIS I GENUINELY LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH-
You are a bad guy
Bruh the vid came out 2 minutes ago and you commented 1 min ago you barely watched the whole thing-
My brain hurts
@@kingswish9595 bruh
@@BrokenCartridge. ive watched other people play it, its a good game lmao
I like how the video was uploaded 3 minutes ago and you are already asking for more
I like that the lock picking went from Skyrim/ Fallout to Oblivion. 🤣
It is so cute how Mark slowly starts to enjoy robbing ppl more and more x,D
i'm loving the recurring theme of
Mark: "nah i don't need a hud/tutorial"
Mark: "..........how do i play"
Arin from Game Grumps energy lol
@@PhoenixSanity very strong yes
Mark: “lixian just cover up everything that I did wrong.”
Lixian: “hmmm... no.”
13:16 Mark:"I signed up to be a theif not an asshole".me: Theif's are asshole's.
We all know the most effective way of stealing is to have your accomplice call you every 30 seconds while not even bothering to put your phone with its loud ass ringtone on silent
At this point they should make a “Markiplier playing simulator, Simulator”.
Good idea, would be interesting
Markiplier simulator. make it happen
DØNT READ MY NAME
Trying to get famous off comments day 6, so I can live a dream life every day like it’s my last.✌️
@@NAXTY okay, but that literally is self promotion 😂
If mark was a robber he would be like.”Hello is someone here if not am taking your shit”.
That 1000% sounds like Mark, why does this sound so painfully accurate? 💀
A heist with Markplier
Yeah. Honestly that would be him
I would be like: “please I am leaving take it all when I am at work”
And then the people in the house would be like, "You look awfully familiar." He'd answer with "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" *slurps drink loudly*
"Just taking my TV for a walk" LOL
39:05 I kinda wish that was a call back to him in the Grinch costume from
*[DeLeTeD ChAnNeL]* instead
I’m beginning to think that mark saying “tuturial” isn’t a joke and he actually says it like that
GAGAGAGAGA I just disliked my own face because I am unpretty. HOWEVER: I always like my GOOD videos however. No dislikes allowed where I come from. Don't be mean, dear sci
He actually does. lol
let's not tell him otherwise
New here?
Whose the other dude spamming like lol
“tools for thieves” sounds like the biggest sting operation ever
Welcome class of 2021 we now start our day with lockpicking 101 then after that you have geography as you need to know what house you gotta steal shit from
Send us the time and location of your next crime and we'll come give you a big hug!
Some guy driving around your neighborhood, screaming out his car window: "Hey! How do I go to sleep?"
I got three ads for Theft Simulator while watching this, good to know ads aren't always awful lol
marks neighbors get back at him by mowing their lawns when he’s in the middle of filming