Ephemeral Rifts journal - 25th June Day seven of regrowing hair. Decided to wear a tuxedo and whisper to strangers over the internet. Some things never change.
I thought I was a decent person before getting my first job in a fucking Walmart, fast foward 8 months I fucking hate humans lol. My customer service voice is just gone, not a single associate cares about being friendly anymore
Why did I start watching ER? Maybe it was his ideas, or maybe it was his little comedy in the asmr, or maybe it was his ASMR in general all I know is his videos are awesome.
@@katsukibakugo9345 at this current moment in the grand story of all that has and will ever exist, things could be better, though they also could be worse.
@@louthinator since the dawn of everything in the vast open universe as time marches inevitably onwards to the end of all, returning the universe to a mere non existent concept in the mind of a non existent child, I am feeling rather indifferent to all things occurring currently. However there are glimmers of hope amongst the equally distant negative thoughts creating a perfect equilibrium of emotion in my mind about my current time of being
"They are available for eating later. One of the benefits of becoming a member of ASMR Club Misanthropy." My faith in humanity has been restored. Wait no, I take it back, don't leave with my cookies! Son of a-
Can we please take a moment to appreciate the fact that Paul is one of the last in the game not to sell out with sponsorship endorsements in his content. The reason I will always stay loyal to this channel is that the content always comes first. Many make ASMR, ER is truly an ASMRtist.
@@captainmikehagen459 He has with a watch company, but he incorporates it into the actual plot of at least one video (YOUR OWN PRIVATE TIME ASMR) instead of it being jarringly at the beginning.
Imagine people asking his kid “What does your dad do?” And the kid just goes “My dad makes videos that calm people down and help get rid of anxiety. He also helps with insomnia in a super fun way.”
er: join us, we have cookies, people suck placard, membership card, mixtape and other cool stuff me: sign me tf up ok, can we talk about how frickin creative this is!!??!??!
Honestly, with his hair like this, he looks like my Uncle Fred that tried to get me to invest in ethanol fuel with him, telling me it was the future of vehicle fuel
Thankyou for still creating videos Ephemeral sir. I was in a very dark place after I woke up but you always seem to put me in a relaxed and calm state with your videos with your welcoming and understanding manner. Nothing is fake about you dude, you're just here to help people. Thanks for still making videos sir.
Idea: rift records short segmentd of beard scratching daily and then compiles it into a video just before he shaves again to determine the optimal beard length for scratching sounds. If anyone has the dedication to do so, this man does
Okay that fan sound was incredible!! If I closed my eyes it felt like the fan was actually next to me and not just coming through headphones. Please make more featuring that fan
Uncle E’s editing has gotten absolutely amazing over the years. Thank you for the years & years of amazing, original, and unbelievably fascinating videos!
Jakholl I remember when I first joined, I love having I massive archive of knowledge giant fictional universes inside my brain, helps me deal with my anxiety and sleep too
i loved the fan. i usually don't listen with earbuds since i dont get tingles either way, but on a whim i put them in in the middle of the segment- pretty sure that was the first time ive ever actually experienced asmr. crazy
The title of the video and the pic was all I needed to see. I've considered myself a misanthrope for 2 or 3 years now. Great video, it really speaks to me. Funny thing I could mention regarding the pic, I have a sticker on one of my guitars that says "People Suck" haha.
Hey Epheral you should try taking out the mag from the AK and put it back in as a trigger for ASMR. Whenever you want to put it into another video. I enjoy your videos man! Keep them and try not to get burned out to quickly.
Let’s share our beginnings as a misanthrope with each other. The day I realized I disgusted the human race was the moment the results of the 2016 election went through. What about you?
I’m just gonna ask because I’m naturally curious to learn, does anyone know where I can look to learn more about these kinds of words? Like, other terms for different outlooks/perspectives on life?
@@dallioncoker4127 if my fingers were all nasty it'd probably be because im disgusting and i didn't wash my hands before eating, so nasty cookies would actually worry me less than catching and transmitting Coronavirus
I loved the long hair, but this buzz cut has me feeling extremely nostalgic for the 2013-ish era of Uncle E. Feels like home 😩
i was just thinking this. his minecraft videos are still my favorites of all time
When I saw the thumbnail the other day I thought CZcams was recommending me an old video, and I was surprised to see it was brand new!
See but that’s the thing. There really is no golden age of ER. It’s just different time frames of awesome things.
😂
Damn I feel that
He didn't cut his hair, he simply washed them and hung them outside his window to let them dry.
wtf
His hair ain’t no sentient being
@@satansson9841 I wouldn't bet on that
And that's a fact
Tehe. What an image.
He really said, "Join the 'We Hate Humanity Club', we have cookies."
The perfect reason
where
@@drysubmarine he didn't actually but the way he said that the club had cookies and milk made it seem that way lol
Mans has a hard bargain ngl
They have cookies but they are $17444 each
I'd love to join but then I'd be with other humans and I don't like that.
Yes
Are you not racist at all for being a misanthrope, or are you super racist for hating everyone?
@@bageled_meme2690as long as you hate everyone equally, not racist, more so speciesist
THIS
yeah im not sure what to do either...
POV: You just spent 5 minutes on Twitter
@Edgar Lopez of shit
Literally 💀
@tOwOxic ok.
@Edgar Lopez "...of oldfolk and degenerates"
*wheezing* asss-asshh-staaaahp! XD
Milk and cookies, a mixtape, and an Ak-47. Clearly a well-established club.
Guys he didn't cut his hair, he just unlocked a new skin.
The sick patient skin
new you say?
And to unlock this skin, he had to cut his hair.
He unlocked the bald butler skin
FFS he switched back to Default Rift.
Ephemeral Rifts journal - 25th June
Day seven of regrowing hair.
Decided to wear a tuxedo and whisper to strangers over the internet. Some things never change.
Ephemeral rifts journal - 25th Jun part 2
DID THE DOODOO HAHAAA
YourMomsAFurry what a classic
Rorschak's journal: a comedian died in Ne-
I’m convinced he can just grow his beard and hair at will
Yo Columbus long time no see aye. Hows the world discoveries?
I hope so. I liked his hair and beard.
Racon Vid that sounds kinda creepy
Jayden 504 lololol
I mean, technically most humans do that, just really slowly. So you're not wrong.
The story of him growing hi hair begins again my friend
The only remakes I am consistently excited for
@Timur Gavrilov sounds like a great idea, I'll up the bet by 8.5 years
Ep. 1 S17
I can’t wait for the third arc
'tis but an infinite cycle yes?
"Whenever the human race gets to me I just imagine im shooting.... my anxiety away"
They had us in the first half ngl
As an “essential” retail worker, does that qualify me for a leadership role in this club? Or at least let me cut to the front of the lunch line?
Well are you a member of humanity?
I am on that boat myself my brother. Glad we can lead.
SAME DUDE ITS FUCKIN GARBAGE KILL ME
"... day 109 of the pandemic and still no hazard pay for my essential work at Big Box America Store..."
I thought I was a decent person before getting my first job in a fucking Walmart, fast foward 8 months I fucking hate humans lol. My customer service voice is just gone, not a single associate cares about being friendly anymore
Honestly, I'm just waiting for that one video where he pulls out all the answers he actually wrote down for all the questions he had ever asked.
Turns out he was just transcribing the Bee Movie script this whole time
When he dipped the cookies and then didn't eat them.. man, that made me unconfortable
Yeah, where'd he put those...
He gave them to me
@@katsukibakugo9345 where else, his pockets
He didn't dip them he dunked them. WHY
I believe he said "comfort-able"
Why did I start watching ER? Maybe it was his ideas, or maybe it was his little comedy in the asmr, or maybe it was his ASMR in general all I know is his videos are awesome.
There's just something so good about him.
Three hundred n seventy four
Honestly, I started watching him when my friend send me a DEVIL ASMR Video of him. I didnt know ASMR by then but this got me hooked lol
I guess it was the weather...
PaulyBeatz That’s the exact reference I was trying to do, and you caught it. Good job😉
one of these days ER will start a video with "Mediocre now"
or "bad present moment"
Tis aight at this point in space and time
@@katsukibakugo9345 at this current moment in the grand story of all that has and will ever exist, things could be better, though they also could be worse.
@@louthinator since the dawn of everything in the vast open universe as time marches inevitably onwards to the end of all, returning the universe to a mere non existent concept in the mind of a non existent child, I am feeling rather indifferent to all things occurring currently. However there are glimmers of hope amongst the equally distant negative thoughts creating a perfect equilibrium of emotion in my mind about my current time of being
'Good'
Yes, thats all he says.
"They are available for eating later. One of the benefits of becoming a member of ASMR Club Misanthropy."
My faith in humanity has been restored. Wait no, I take it back, don't leave with my cookies! Son of a-
Yeah but do you dip your fingers into the milk or do you leave a corner of them dry?
I drop the cookie in the milk and drink it
Finally, one of ER’s clubs that I’m already part of.
Well, I guess you hate me then...
Big bruh
Same I think lol
22Johnaid no hard feelings, amigo
@@fightingman7425 why are you in a club if you are a misantrophist
youtube: there are 20 comments.
me: can i see them?
CZcams: No
Thought that was a glitch on my account or something for the reason I can't see them, least I know there's others with this problem now hahaha
Gotta move them
@@callanreynolds5422 its always when the video was just uploaded
Fair enough hahaha
Why is this comment used so much
If you look closely, you can see his hair slightly growing as the video progresses
If it was that way i aint gonna be suprised
Why can I actually see it
I think this is actually true! You know on microscopic levels it did grow so.... and with the right measuring instrument...
@@jujumama let me just download the video and compare the pixels between the first frame and the last
@@LiminalBunnyAnimations lol. Do you have the ostenoseismeter?!
Last time I was this early ER looked... well actually the same as now
Viime kerralla kun olin näin aikaisessa ER näytti... noh samanlaiselta kuin nyttenkin
@@freshh1 once again in english please?
@@louthinator when the
@@freshh1 WHEN THE WHAT?
@@marshylicmarsh the
Imagine if Rift is actually completely bald, but has a thousand wigs of different lengths?
🤔🤔🤔🤔
Extremely convincing wigs.
Like Alan Brady
I thought the same thing
@MOHAMAD DANISH KOO KAH MAN BIN MOHD DANIAL KOO Moe The Wigs Man | ASMR
I liked people until rift dipped his fingers with the cookie
You gotta dip the whole cookie, that's a mess I'm willing to make
He didn’t even eat it tho 😖
How else u gonna get that supreme soggy on all parts of the cookie
It is now clear to me there are barbarians who dip their fingers with their cookies. I'm having personal problems with this newfound information
@@Xeldur HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO WET THE WHOLE GODDAMN COOKIE!?
Celebrate hatred the loving and peaceful way with Uncle E.
as someone who works in the food industry .... I cant tell you how much I needed this
I feel like these are two different people, hairless and hairy.
There are as many different Rifts as there are rifts.
Our Rift is the Riftest Rift.
@beefmachine Hopefully
@beefmachine Swamp Thing ASMR 👍🏻
I wonder if all the rifts have grand children and make asmr videos together in weird places
Can we please take a moment to appreciate the fact that Paul is one of the last in the game not to sell out with sponsorship endorsements in his content.
The reason I will always stay loyal to this channel is that the content always comes first.
Many make ASMR, ER is truly an ASMRtist.
Doc t asmr has yet to do a sponsorship either and he has great asmr with a wide variety of triggers
@@captainmikehagen459 He has with a watch company, but he incorporates it into the actual plot of at least one video (YOUR OWN PRIVATE TIME ASMR) instead of it being jarringly at the beginning.
@@captainmikehagen459 Another fav of mine! Yea doc is legit too
Imagine people asking his kid “What does your dad do?” And the kid just goes “My dad makes videos that calm people down and help get rid of anxiety. He also helps with insomnia in a super fun way.”
"My dad puts on suits of diferent franchises and whispers to the camera about diferent clubs and multiverses"
"My dad goes into dark rooms wearing weird outfits and does weird, feely-noisy stuff at the camera." 👀
6 days gone by and he’s already grown back a decent amount.
I cannot believe he did this
Jøãø Duarte his hair did grow out alot plus its summer so people tend to cut their hair because it’s hot
Genetics man... his like me after 1 week, a decent beard
I guess long hair like that was not summer friendly
ER : "imagine I’m shooting..."
Me : Dozens of people ?
ER : "..my anxiety and anger away."
Me : oh.
*same thing really*
LOL
*LET ME IN*
Lmao get help bro
That's not dark or anything.....
ER pulls off the “black tie” suit/tux pretty well.
After the way I’ve been treated as a nurse during covid, I would happily join this club
😔
Sorry about humanity treated you like shit during this time... =:(
You risk your life for people and they still treat you like shit.
Cringe
@@yellowcactustvz4929 how is this cringe?
@@yellowcactustvz4929 or was it a bad joke
er: join us, we have cookies, people suck placard, membership card, mixtape and other cool stuff
me: sign me tf up
ok, can we talk about how frickin creative this is!!??!??!
Sure but where to start?
Honestly, with his hair like this, he looks like my Uncle Fred that tried to get me to invest in ethanol fuel with him, telling me it was the future of vehicle fuel
Thankyou for still creating videos Ephemeral sir. I was in a very dark place after I woke up but you always seem to put me in a relaxed and calm state with your videos with your welcoming and understanding manner. Nothing is fake about you dude, you're just here to help people. Thanks for still making videos sir.
As a misanthrope myself, I can confirm that this is exactly what misanthropes are like.
so the bald head is real and not pre-recorded....now we can watch his hair grow from video to video again :)
widepeepohappy
widepeepoHappy
widepeepoHappy
Lol I’m looking at the time stamps of all the formalities and I just see AK-47
My head canon is that the person breaking into his house for ASMR stressed him out to the point of losing his hair
Me: "...ASMRICA."
'MERCA'
I think he pulled one out in his Communist ASMR video
Imagine he swapped the cake one for a real one on accident
@@stonecat158
Me: "...ASMRxism."
Noice one, mate!
ER: *Dunks whole cookie and fingers into milk*
My brain: “You f*cking monster.” 🤣
That’s just wut I was thinking😂😂
:( I do that. But at least I eat the cookie
I drop that shit in
I was equally disappointed of the fact that he did not eat the cookies. So in other words I was punched twice
@@YYY66767 fuck yea Brother
I'd like to see him do like a butler or servant one. He always looks so good in his suits.
But only if he's really fucking sarcastic to the people he's serving. That would be gold.
I feel like Uncle Rift would have an AK47 just laying around that’s not a replica
These days that’s probably a good idea for everyone to have
Oof god I hope not. Not necessary at all
Lauren Moug very necessary
Lauren Moug very necessary
@@laurenmoug665 very necessary
It’s ironic just to think that a misanthropy club would even exist lol
Some of us acknowledge that theres a small portion of the human race that do not, in fact, suck ass.
PSC Yes, those who hate humanity are in fact, great.
@@depausvandelilithkerk5785 lmao
What is more ironic is that they whisper just as everyone else in Ephemeral Rift's universe... They had to differ themselves!
Will humanity really needs to be thanosed
Idea: rift records short segmentd of beard scratching daily and then compiles it into a video just before he shaves again to determine the optimal beard length for scratching sounds. If anyone has the dedication to do so, this man does
I never realized I needed a candy sprinkles zen garden before now.
Loving those timestamps! That extra effort is much appreciated, even though so much effort is already going into your videos!
No one mentioning that one of the songs was called “Hobbit Motherfuckers” by Turbo Negro
No one mentioning that song is from an album called Ass Cobra?
I literally heard that a just giggled
Josh Porter doesn’t make it bot funny
I bought a boat because it was for sail.
You got me
This made me smirk and blow air out of my nose at a greater than usual velocity
youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
That joke blew me away after I caught sail of it.
Th...this is why I joined the misanthropy club
This club SUCKS
And I love it, LET'S GOOO E.R.
I've never felt more welcome somewhere. It sure is awesome to finally have something for misanthropes c:
This man can make a video about anything and it will still be amazing.
Every other comment: talking about his hair
Me: *he just made a molotov-*
AH SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN
@@NeoMetaI YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A RANDOM BUT IT WAS HIM DIO
“come to the dark side... we have cookies:)”
Okay that fan sound was incredible!!
If I closed my eyes it felt like the fan was actually next to me and not just coming through headphones.
Please make more featuring that fan
I love how this guy can never run out of ideas 💡😀
"Imagine shooting...my anxiety and anger away." Had us in the first half not gonna lie
Someone named “your name” is freaking out right now
SaintSanity really want to meet that person's parents
Jasper Skies Your Name’s parents are Mother’s Name and Father’s name. Very nice people
ASMR Club Misanthropy is okay, but for me, it is the Big Mac. The best fast food sandwich
Uncle E’s editing has gotten absolutely amazing over the years. Thank you for the years & years of amazing, original, and unbelievably fascinating videos!
0 dislikes. Nobody dislikes Uncle E’s ASMR.
There are three *humans* already...
@@qretan3750 they made a grave mistake
4 :(
Screw 6 very specific people
6 humans got rejected from the club
"they put mayo on their sammich"
"they said sammich instead of sandwich
HoLd On
You must be new here. It makes me very happy to see people joining the ranks.
Not that new lol. But i found that funny af lol
Jakholl I remember when I first joined, I love having I massive archive of knowledge giant fictional universes inside my brain, helps me deal with my anxiety and sleep too
But seriously, uncle e is physically incapable of running out of ideas, running out of ideas, was an idea for him
daedalus i like how unique and more interactive they feel. It’s a nice combo
i loved the fan. i usually don't listen with earbuds since i dont get tingles either way, but on a whim i put them in in the middle of the segment- pretty sure that was the first time ive ever actually experienced asmr. crazy
This is the club I've been looking for. I am so glad you uploaded this.
Just pulls out a whole AK-47 for my relaxation what a real man
"kind, courteous, polite, generous, selfless, helpful, respectful, open-minded, trustworthy, thoughtful, mindful, forgiving, agreeable, considerate, peaceful, benevolent, humble, compassionate, empathetic, fair, rational, quiet, stoic, and altruistic..."
Hey, anybody got an address for that universe? I'm thinking of relocating.
I want to move to.
INTO THE FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE!!!
The title of the video and the pic was all I needed to see. I've considered myself a misanthrope for 2 or 3 years now. Great video, it really speaks to me. Funny thing I could mention regarding the pic, I have a sticker on one of my guitars that says "People Suck" haha.
Hey Epheral you should try taking out the mag from the AK and put it back in as a trigger for ASMR. Whenever you want to put it into another video. I enjoy your videos man! Keep them and try not to get burned out to quickly.
the 17 people who disliked this are extroverts who love people, get out of our club 17 people
It's now at 150. Their numbers grow, brother.
Italian Gladiator it’s now 151.
@@darkboxgaming2072 oh no, boys they're growing
but its alright, we can overrun them
there are more of us than there are them!
@@Kiluto did we ever say we hated all humans? 😌
I genuinely can’t tell how old he is. He’s either 30 or 60 dude it’s nuts😆
Interviewer: And how old are you?
ER: uhhh, anywhere between 30 and 60
He's anywhere from his mid 30's to early 40's. He's definitely _not_ in his 50's or 60's.
He’s got a whole video, where talks about growing up in the 70s & 80s, so he should be in his 40s-50s
He's just dressed and groomed like a gentleman, unlike most of you shitwit human garbage.
This man is one of my favorite CZcamsrs let alone one of my favorite ASMRtist
Rift looks 10 years younger now XD
Let’s share our beginnings as a misanthrope with each other. The day I realized I disgusted the human race was the moment the results of the 2016 election went through. What about you?
2017
When I started realizing we are terrible kind for planet earth.
2020 with noticing all the bullshit people that are on earth and what we are doing to it
ah yes "How to make a Molotov ASMR"
top tier like always
Please do more milk dipping, that was an amazing sound
ER is lookin quite dapper in this one.
Maybe he caught a red snapper
And he cooked it into a snacker
Between the cocktail and the AK, are we sure this isn't actually the Revolutionist's Club
Lmao, right? I saw someone comment that this video was peaceful misanthropy. I'm like uhhhhh, should we tell them?
I feel like I just time traveled 7 years in the past with uncle rift flexing the buzz cut!
You just went through a rift. Enjoy the journey.
I'm loving the chapters! It's like they implemented it specifically for the ASMR crowd!
80% comments are about his hair, and only 20% about the video. Cmon guys...
Its because he hasn't had his this short in a very long
The Cardboard Tribe isn’t pleased you took their sign
Hair: Level 2, Prestige 3
The fan makes good sounds! Two thumbs up in my book 📚 👍👍
that fan gave me tingles for the first time in a while
"when the human race gets to me, I just grab my AK-47 and pull the trigger"
AMAZING! THAT RIGHT THERE BOSS IS WHY YOU'RE THE BEST
finally, a club i can identify with
The Molotov Cocktail is hereby added to my list of extreme tingle inhibiters. LOL. Great video, Rift!
You just get accepted, go in, and see rift hittin' up the vert pole like the unit he is
Misanthropy is better than solipsism, at least we acknowledge the existence of others.
...at least we have cookies...
I’m just gonna ask because I’m naturally curious to learn, does anyone know where I can look to learn more about these kinds of words? Like, other terms for different outlooks/perspectives on life?
@@deimoskaischylos Hurray for lexicon and nomenclature!
Deimos kai Aischylos thank you. i now have something else to spend my night on lol
Guys, ASMR has peaked.
Never in my entire life have I ever expected to see a man playing with an AK-47 to induce ASMR.
He's done it before (communist asmr to name one)
You must be new here
He has done it before
Now go watch his Jesus Christ video...where he's doing it there as well. Jesus is packing some heat.
I mean, such dedication in making a good misanthropic mixtape. ER is really a man of culture.
*Tunes into the video*
ER: " Good now?"
Me: "Why, yes, I suppose I am good now that I'm watching an ER video."
i am offended by how he puts his fingers into the milk when he goes for a dip
So you are of the other side, the "I want my cookie dipped, but only halfway through, lest my precious fingertips get moist with milk" side?
@@germanrodriguez496 so if your fingers were all nasty you would still dip them in?
Dallion Coker why would I hold a cookie I’m gonna eat if I had nasty stinky bastard hands?
@@dallioncoker4127 if my fingers were all nasty it'd probably be because im disgusting and i didn't wash my hands before eating, so nasty cookies would actually worry me less than catching and transmitting Coronavirus
Dragon 1 its not about hygiene, its about getting your fingers wet. it just feels wrong
Last time I was this early, this guy still had a podcast.
Podcast??? Where??? I want the link!
@@mglouise97 search for Ephem Radio, it stopped back in 2017. It wasn't ASMR just Paul talking about whatever was on his mind.
Thank you for the timestamps Uncle E!
"ER Pulls out AK"
Looks at camera: "Its a surprise tool that will help us later"
i literally found this on my recommended and it said 13 seconds ago
he speaks like he’s reading off of cue cards, but I kinda like it
Now this is my kind of club!
The thumbnail is pretty much my mood all the time.