Relationship Addict: Heal Your Love Addiction & Fantasy Fixation I Inner Work Library [59/500]
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- čas přidán 21. 07. 2024
- Love Addiction & Toxic Relationships: this episode of Inner Work Q&A explores the psychology of relationship addiction and how to heal love addicts who feel trapped in toxic relationships and unable to maintain strong social boundaries.
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⏱️ TIMESTAMPS ⏱️
00:00 Start Here (Five Books)
00:58 Warning Signs: Are You Addicted?
04:54 Neurochemistry & Bedroom Behaviour
08:16 Dark Psychology of Romantic Fantasy
11:15 Why Do We Fall In Love?
14:12 Who Is The Perfect Partner?
17:57 Self Actualisation in Relationship
21:00 Buy These Books
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Topics explored: inner work; shadow work; toxic relationship healing; toxic relationship; trauma bonding; how to heal toxic relationship; conscious relationships; toxic relationships; boundaries; healthy boundaries; toxic relationships healing; relationship boundaries; love addiction; love addict; relationship addiction signs; relationship addict psychology; psychology of love addiction; what is love addiction; love addict psychology; love addiction recovery; toxic relationship psychology;
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DM me for 1:1 consultations & private mentoring.
#relationshipadvice #toxicrelationships #datingadvice
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*1-1 Mentorship Information: Price & Structure (Maximum Capacity = 20 Clients Per Year)*
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By way of conclusion for what feels like an extraordinarily long comment and service description, I feel compelled to once more emphasise that working directly with me is unrealistic for most people in most situations.
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*SESSION STRUCTURE & FEES:*
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Greetings Jordan, grateful for your content - thank you. I seem unable to contact you via instagram. How else do I reserve your time for private consultations?
Hello,
I'm a male.
Perfect - appreciate this 😂
Excellent video and a topic that ive struggled with for many years. Love addiction is probably worse than being addicted to drink and drugs. Its taken a lot of work to understand myself on such a deep level especially surrounding love relationships sex and women. Thank you for posting this. Also ive been learning about limmerence and how its linked with cptsd.
Here to help, and can absolutely see how devestating love addiction can be for some people - you got this my man.
I get it do u go to slaa?
@@Lachlans-i2s whats slaa?
@@gurdenator85 sex and love addicts anonymous
@gurdenator85 Can you tell me more about the link between CPTSD and limerence?
24 September, I am 8 years free of my Human Addiction.
My parents sculpted the craving for kindness and gentleness, because Home did not offer that, but my grandparents did, so I had an idea.
Grandiose pedestals, formed via prose, escalating equally emotionally immature (but initially kind and gentle) humans to heights that they had craved. Heights they fell from, when I bunny footed out, because the mental high wasn't enough for them, and they wanted more.
It was enough, for me. In person, physical was not what I wanted. It was an unnecessary byproduct, and I avoided it.
I have done an incredible amount of work on myself. I am proud of how far I have come.
I am in no place to offer anyone anything of me, because I am genuinely happily immersed in everything that matters to me, and equally fills me.
Maybe one day. When I feel I can truly offer a balanced human a balanced me.
We are not there. Yet.
Thank you, so much, for all of these books. I intend reading every single one of them.
Freud, Jung and Nietzsche will always hold my hand, and they have helped me in every way, but I need fresh perspectives.
Well done for the healing you've made so far - keep going, and I hope the books help you.
Thank you, Jordan, on this video on healing of illusions.
My pleasure as always!
@@jordanthornton ❤️
Omg, I've been dealing with this and haven't known how to approach it.
I waste so much energy and it gets me so tired to deal with it.
It seems sometimes out of control. Indeed an addiction.
Thank you for talking about it and sharing resources.
I will definitely read some of that.
Perfect! Have you ordered the books, yet? 😉🌲
@@jordanthornton i got facing love addiction on my hands right now, it just arrived!
Keep going, brother. You deserve a bigger audience.
Time will tell, thank you!
Jordan Thornton. Beautifully structured and detailed video. Thank you for being you⚖️
Doing my best, passionate video to film - we got this 👌🏻
Thank you!💜💜💜
You are so welcome - thanks for being here.
Thank you again ❤
Another great video. Thank you!
My pleasure - here to help!
This is how I found you, researching on anima/animus.
We are attracted to the archetype that we are falling short over inside ourself.
That was enlightening.
Wholeness would be the state of integration of the woman you are and the man you would have been , or the man you are a woman the would have been. The extra x chromosome. ..
Can't wait to read them books....
Beautifully explained
Thanks and welcome!
Very thoughtful lesson, much appreciated. Good actionable tips and references
Invisible partners book is one I may check out. I have enjoyed some of the other books you recommended. Working my way down from category 5 hurricane to just a spirited light breeze 😅
Spiritual light breeze is excellent 😂
As an analytical psychology student and a woman in my own personal journey through the depths, I find your videos very close to heart and your suggestions very helpful. Thank you
Trying my best to keep the traditions alive! Wishing you well in your studies!
🙏🏽 thank you Jordan 💚
You are most welcome!
Jordan, I'll say this ... I spent a number of years in the 12-step program of SLAA (Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous) and have read and worked with the material in Pia Mellody's book. This is a most painful way of life and can involve intertwining addictions - such as my need to go through Debtors Anonymous as well. Love addiction becomes even more confusing for those who cross the divide and change sexual orientations and are faced with a whole new dynamic of love addiction issues!
Excellent recommendations and topic!! I’ve only read the first book but it was a vital breakthrough
Love to hear it - make sure to pick up the others!
Thank you Jordan. Your channel is amazing, and so is your expression. There is always a lot of value to draw from your book reviews and your shared experience. However today I want call out your creativity. Oh but to avoid "voyeuristic shrimp watching". Brilliant :D
Thank you, Jordan 📚
It hits differently every time I reach a new level of “wholeness”/integration. I’ve been doing intense dream work for over a year now and I’m seeing how my animus figure is FINALLY starting to integrate……I think😅😅😅
Sarah, this is excellent! Keep going with your work 🌲
Jordan, thank you so much for the encouragement. It means a lot! 💕
Sarah, how exactly are you doing that? In summary
Thank you!
Thank You.
You are most welcome!
I may get "WE" by Robert Johnson. I need to find his other book on dream work, too.
Get it! Both that book and ‘Inner Work’ are classics! Super cheap too
Great video, and your voice is soothing,like ASMR.😊👍
Cheers - happy to have a voice hahaha
@@jordanthornton 👍😊
Words are Fun 😎
Love Addiction & Sex Addiction are such misleading labels as it comments more on the symptom than what is actually being persued... ohhhh, so many crustaceans and how much butter it could be in the next new shiny pond / but than there is the reality of how the grass is greener were you water it 😇🌱
That was lovely, ty bro 🙏🏻
Appreciate the language fun - fun comment too!
I have several Stanford books. I hope I still have this one.
He's excellent, got many of his myself too.
Reading The Eden Project now it is a small but powerful book.
Excellent book, enjoy the studies! 🌲
Thank you very much for this post. I have noticed that I suffer a lot when there is the end of an illusion of love, whether they have court me from afar but I hardly know them or a short actual relationship , I find it extremely hard to finish with them ( I fall apart and succumb to depression ) due to abandonment childhood issues. I will read at leat one of your book suggestion , thanks Jordan !
Why settle for one book? Golden suggestions, pick up all five! 😉
@@jordanthornton Gracias Jordan for your always positive advice.
Your videos have helped me a lot can you make one for overcoming ADHD
It’s scheduled for next month! On the way 🌲
I suck at relationships. I will read the books. Period.
You got this brother!
Naked Crustaceans, lol. I have to ask how you came up with the word crustacean as a substitute. It's hilarious! There are always brilliant nuggets in your videos that help me see the next level of growth. Thank you, Jordan -Aurora
Prawn sounds very similar to pawn hahah
@@jordanthornton That it does.
As a man I can relate to not saying anything or commenting, but this very much spoke to me. I have watched all the videos on this channel and made a list of books to read from this channel, and I have never comment, and while going through one of the wildest ego deaths/ DNOS experiences ever, the rawness of my reality and of myself has never been clearer.
I want to thank you for your hard work, all these videos and book recommendations have been helping.
What is your thoughts on limerence? Mine has been speaking to me for 7 months and 19 days like a spirit that haunts the corners of my thoughts.
Appreciate you raising your hand here, brother. Screenshotted your question and will try to get to this as soon as I can.
These books are very interesting. I think I go for We and Cupid's Poison Arrow. I like to read also fictional books and I am currently re-reading Lady Chatterleys lover that has been in my mind since december I watched the Netflix film of it. Escaping every day problems is I guess heart of the matter when we get addicted to love. Its nice to have at least some beauty in life when many other things are ugly or difficult.
I need these books❤
Nothing stopping you purchasing them! Have you ordered them yet, Theo? 🌲
@@jordanthornton I ordered the invisible partners and started reading it today :)
I laughed when you made a comment about naked crustaceans😂😂
Hardcore prawn is the worst 🤢
I have a "friend" who only very occasionally meets someone he likes and has a strong connection with but then he has a habit of obsessively fantasising about her in the time between seeing her again. By that time he has dreamt dozens of intimate conversations with her, imagined having sex with her and in his mind been living happily married together for the last 5 years? And then the next time he does see her not only is he exhausted from having a make believe relationship, he is also terrified she'll reject him and shatter his fantasy, which usually results in that vey thing happening. What is the source of these fantasies? And what books would you recommend for my "friend" (who isn't me of course)?
Screenshotted this question for your 'friend', but likewise recommend that you get two books for your 'friend' to read in the meantime. Invisible Partners by John Sanford & The Eden Project by James Hollis. They'll really help, and I'll make a full video on this when I can - thanks for asking.
Jordan, thank you for this helpful video.
My question is:
How do we date when we know we are flawed like this? (While working on it) Do we tell the person about these things and that we're working on them? (Discernment is needed here)
How do we approach dating when we know we have these problems, we are self-aware, but it could lead to fear and avoidance since the thought "Why would they choose me, there are many other women out there that come with less baggage/better attachment patterns? And more beautiful." Lol.
I would love to receive a response with your honest opinion.
To add onto this:
I feel guilty dating knowing these issues in me because I don't want to burden the man or worsen his life in a way. I also don't want to hide and pretend all's good, then dump the trauma at a later stage (which many people do as they reveal themselves with time). I reveal myself quite fast (maybe due to trauma once again), tending to overshare.. but my thought process is "Let me put it all out there and if they wanna stay they can."
This, as you can assume, is not a great strategy. 😅😂
Screenshotted, and will see if I can do a video on this one. I'm wishing you the best in the meantime - be well.
Thank you!! That'd be amazing ^-^ Take care
11:27 👍🏽
Do you have any reading recommendations on this topic by female authors? Maybe you provided one I didn’t catch it.
Pia Mellody IS a female author
2/5 of the recommended books are authored by women! Facing Love Addiction & Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow - check them out, Jen! 🌲
This is something I don’t understand myself. If someone claims they want to do the work, then all of a sudden they get triggered by having to face their own inadequacies.
Then to me it seems; that person has become mentally absent about the whole process, which is to learn to transcend old patterns that keep them stuck and miserable. (The irony of it all). I would of made the assumption that being emotional exhausted would have brought them to do the work in the first place.
Would it not be possible to keep reminding the self on why they are doing the work?
Would practicing self reassurance and having a flexible mindset aid insecurity through reading about one’s inadequacies?
Also is it a case of emotional exhaustion has to trump over emotional defensiveness?
I’m not sure I fully understand your question here, but you’re right in seeing these often confusing patterns between ‘wanting to do the work’ vs ‘not being able to’ (for whatever reason that may be. These things are complex, and unfortunately often take months and years - becomes even more complex in relationships, but there is hope. Sorry I can’t be more direct but my recent videos on romantic projection this week could also be valuable for you 🌲
❤
🌲✌🏻
What if both partners are guilty of this? 🙄😑
It's unawareness, not being guilty. More appropriate wording helps you in self-observation, in a less biased way.
So if I always chase the most beautiful woman I can find, I am trying to heal my own dissatisfaction with my own looks?
It's probably not that simple, could relate more towards the value of beauty itself in your life. Wishing you the best.
@@jordanthornton yes I guess its at 100%
What do you mean at 100%? The value of beauty? If you wish to expand, I am interested to hear more. :)
@Relahxe yes I value beauty in a woman at 100% so she could be dead broke and a drug addict but if she is good looking I'll still date her.
@@tyrejuan8 I think what Jordan meant was that you may be valuing beauty in general in life. As in, it's not about the woman. What do you think?
That's an interesting perspective and desire, I haven't heard of.
How do I watch love addiction treatment from you when I am getting love addicted to you? 🤦🏻♀️
Read Facing Love Addiction by Pia Melody & The Eden Project by James Hollis. And don’t be silly about me or these videos - you got this.