No Animal Is Safe!! (Ruining Your Favorite Animals)
Vložit
- čas přidán 25. 02. 2021
- This is what it would look like if I were your substitute teacher. Make sure you like, comment, subscribe, drink water and hug your mother.
Link to my merch below. Get yourself a hedgehog hoodie!
www.athenamgt.com/collections...
Now I know why humans were gifted with intelligence, because we got literally nothing else against nature.
lol
Even with that we still got people who chose to be idiots
@@vulture_screech I guess that's the downside? Every superhero needs a problem. Superman = Kryptonite. Batman = No Parents. Humans = Fluctuating Intelligence.
@@adrianherbert5844 fair enough
We would die in ten minutes
U ever stop to think which animal on this earth doesn't rape
Damn that crazy
Bro wow
Not humans
None
I mean our main biogical goal is to reproduce
"they're bad at being parents because if a female has twins she'll take zach and abandon cody" lmao
The Overly Realistic Life of Zack and Cody
Damn Cody, should act like Zach more often then
This made me smile.. she saved Zach.. my partner died recently and he is named Zach.. this made me smile. Thankyou. You never know who is out there. But you made me smile on a personal level.
"Zebras aren't horses, they're angry afrodonkeys. The whole reason we never tried riding them is cause they would literally kick the lifepoints out of any dolittle that tried." DEAD
So is that Dolittle that tried to ride a zebra
How the fuck are you still alive to comment!?
Bars
Literally
@@wetube6513 they didn't specify _who_ died 🌚
Not only does this man teach us unholy animal facts against our own wellbeing, but also countless creative paraphrases for biting the dust and I am ever so grateful for that.
👍
Biting the Dust?
*DAISAN NO BAKUGAN-*
@@ZBreezee-nb2rl *-BITES ZA DUSTO*
And he does it with the straightest face ever.
I love him
Mother Nature just wakes up feelin like wanting to clap us
😂 Isn't that the truth!
And she does it too, goddamn!
True
Nah we do the job for her lol
Mother Nature never woke up and chose violence. Mother Nature woke up and made violence the first option.
"The only W's pandas take are in Disney movies"
DreamWorks: how dare you.....
Someone outta Skadoosh Disney like that
I just love how down to earth and non-robotic this guy is with his TikToks, I love how he isn’t using the most basic words to describe something. I’m subbing. 😂😂😂
Fun fact : petting birds actually turn them on. So now you know why they look so happy when you're stroking their feathers
Oh god
i didnt want to know this..
[🕳️🤸♀️]
For most species that only happens when you pet places other than their head. The worst place to pet a bird is under their wings
*keeps petting them*
Dude taught me more about animals in 9 minutes than school did in 9 years
@@maniac9554 not for me i was never taught about animals
@@maniac9554 they don’t teach about animals in school
@@maniac9554 sorry I meant about animals I’ll just edit the comment lol
@@fultri8118 oh ok I’ll delete my comment
School does f*ck all teaching about animals. Everything I learned was because growing up I wanted to learn and got books and watched tv on animals. I remember a very small section about Dino's when talking about specific places.
Should probably have added: Zebras were not used as horses because they got scared easily of bullets and the sound of artillery (in addition to the behavioral thing). They wanted them for war because they were faster than horses, but speed means nothing if they can't handle being shot at.
...I mean, I imagine wild horses are also frightened by bullets and artillery. War horses were specifically bred for war over thousands of years, and still have to be heavily trained to handle combat. Pretty sure there were other reasons humans never domesticated zebra the way we did horses.
“You don’t have to be Odell to play for the browns”
This man is quick with it 💀
I’m talking bout quiiiick😂😂
“ homicidal bar code” took me out 😂😂😂
How about calling a grizzly a cinnamon soul stealer
@@spacetacos7574 😂😂😂😂😂
His vocabulary makes his videos 10× better
Nah “Kick the life points out of any dolittle that tries” to ride a Zebra, took ME out lmfao
Not send that man straight to the Shadow Realm! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Tba
So you're telling me 90% of giraffe sex is like the creepy uncle stereotype
Yeah. :| but on a side not most same sex couples are actually healthier then the opposite sex ones, and they have a higher chance of raising their young successfully. (Granted they usually steal the eggs, or mate with females just to then steal the baby and raise it with their same sex partner) Same sex couples (I believe it was in penguins or something, not sure) had an 80% while opposite sex had around 50%
@@PhysicallyAwake it was the penguins.
@@PhysicallyAwake
Girl ur talkin bout penguins
@@PhysicallyAwake actually, that was the swam
+Internally Exhausted you really must be exhausted if you can't remember egg laying isn't something mammals thought was ok in the character creation screen.
I've watched David Attenborough since I was 9yrs old. I'm 47 now. Love this content. Makes my day. Nature is the best. Humans are so worse than these animals.
I'm 49 now and I know the feeling. Used to watch David Attenborough BITD too.👍
I started watching David Attenborough around the same age, I've always loved Nature, Animals and Documentaries. What better what to enjoy all three than by watching David Attenborough's documentaries? Back when I had my own Netflix account, I'd put one of his documentaries on in the background to fall asleep. It was always so relaxing listening to him talk about Nature and Animals. I miss being able to do that, but Netflix doesn't have a lot of his documentaries on there anymore...
I was in a boat in the Gulf of Mexico fishing. A dark shadow went under the boat. The shadow was on all sides of the boat. I am from Ky so I did not know what it was. I was freaking out. The captain of the boat said” don’t worry that is just a mantra ray” those things are huge. Love your content thank you
Imagine going to jail from a koalas handprint 💀
I imagine the darker your skin the more likely you are to get clapped by the court for it
@@dannya1854 depends on the country
@@yahikokurotama4351 america moment
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦🏾♂️
@@yahikokurotama4351 Nah dark skinned people getting boned is a fairly universal phenomenon.
Latin America, Australia, south Africa, Angola, Zimbabwe, Asian countries fair skin is also a status symbol.
“Homicidal barcode” “Oreo horse” “biracial Garfield” “fur Oreo” “refrigerator with flippers” “arms longer than a Monday” “underwater ufo” “Godzilla tadpole” 😂
“Neptune’s paralysis demon”
Yo he gots name fr all of dem n their just mess as well
“Steroid donkey Kong”
A baby shower 😂 bruh
Yeah that makes sense why we should legal something as same as humans to be hunted and doesnt a bunch of animals go extinct because of people
Mans really called the panda an overweight equality gerbil
"I know what this is, but i don´t know why." Just straight up killed me. XDD
"Pandas are designed to eat meat, but eat nothing but bamboo"
Damn I didn't realize veganism existed before humans came up with it
And it's highly inneficient
Grimm Reaper That's a given for veganism
@@netherdominater9960 inefficient for pandas, not humans in 2021. you can get meal suplements that come packed with every required nutrients that you'd ever need and stop eating food entirely. if anything that's more efficient.
@@MrGhostTheBigRoast inefficent deez nutz
Proof that vegans deserve to go extinct.
Quokkas: *sacrifices there child*
Also Quokkas: :D
The only comment that made me laugh. Gj
Quokka : *bites someone's finger off*
Quokka : :DDDD
Yeah... It's a myth
@@desphimilus9841 it's not a myth tho?
@@devasenama508 but this is impossible to be in theory, they have no predators??? Like yeah it's one of their natural instincts, is it ever used not really. However they also do that muscle reflex when they are really relaxed as well
I actually had a dream when I was pregnant with my son, that I was being chased by a zebra! I just remember being terrified and waking up sweating profusely. Needless to say…I got roasted by my family lol. I haven’t been able to look at them the same since.
This man teaches us stuff we will actually use irl while school we don't use 98% of the things we learn
No he doesnt lmao
"They'll take Zack and abandone Cody"
NOO CODY😂😭
Can't believe mom would just abandoned me like that!
"Or maybe it was Zack."
That Japanese crab spider is the reason Japan came up with kaijus.
EDIT: Imagine realising like a day ago we were nearly at 1k likes cuz of a random notification that had us 2 away from it. Thanks peeps, hope everyone reading this is doing great and will be doing better in days to come 👍🏿
Onibaba was just giant spider crab
Scylla
Really?
And crab legs....
I wonder what it looked like in their mythology
Your videos are addictive, dude; I've now binge-watched like twelve of them in a row.
Your videos are hysterical and brilliant and witty and I just love them! So glad I discovered your channel.
"And can live for 100 years, because even death procrastinates dealing with this thing." I love this line, I'm gonna wait for a perfect situation to be able to use it.
SAME
Watching this dude has made me realize that every animal is just as bad as humans
Animal Activist: Be like nature, nature is peaceful and completely harmless if we treat them right
Nature: Literally everything is a rapist, a killer or have committed necrophillia at some point
@@mustard4762 But I don’t think animals know any better, while humans do.
At least they harm just their species but we harm every other as well xd
I forgot about that... wait, they harm others too. Did you forget dolphins and orcas? Still not on the scale humans do but can’t be ignored
@@liquidsword601*cough* dolphins
Just gotta love my dude here! The world absolutely does not deserve him.
It’s not possible for me to do anything but love this dude and this channel. Brilliant!!
The more I learn about pandas, the more I think they’re an evolutionary glitch. Maybe Darwin was right! (The one from Gumball, not the Galapagos one) It also gives Panda’s characterization from We Bare Bears a lot more sense than one should imagine.
Pandas are only endangered because we fucked their environment up. This ruined their mating season and that's why they stopped breeding.
@password 12 they would become legit bears
yo
They're the perfect example of pretty privilege
1:57
Fun Fact:
In Arabic we call a zebra a "Monster Donkey"
الحمار الوحشي
@Rkaale 123 it's the latter 😌
it's not mean because zebras deserve it lmao
Actually "wild" donkey, as we call wild animals "متوحش"
If this man doesn’t become a teacher I will be largely disappointed. He would be amazing
THANK YOU! I've been saying these exact same things about pandas forever. Mother nature really shit the bed when she designed those things. When a species loses interest in sex then it's time to let it go. I mean, successful reproduction is THE defining requirement of evolution. But a lot of people think they're cute, and they make the ChiComs tons of money, so here we are.
I still love all animals. It's just... They live HARD and dirty lives
You may love them but they wake up in the morning trying to formulate the fastest way to take you to your ancestors
@@tayevon5489 yup...
@Strengt of Yahweh going to?
This is how its always been
@@tayevon5489 and sometimes the slowest way
@Username someone can have a hard life and they don't gotta be in a third world country lol
I wasn’t ready for the sea turtle’s mouth. I physically jumped.
Get ready for monotremes then
Or goose mouths
I threw my phone. Twice lol
@ㅤ no. Its Just like how a random photo of spiders would make a person with arachnophobia jump
@@reddsmoke904 as a person with arachnophobia I can verify that.
I just wanna say, it's not teeth! It's skin that's like teeth. The sea turtles use it to keep jellyfish in their mouth
I love how you were remiding us that housecats are related to tigers, meanwhile mine is making biscuits on two blankets at once.
5:10 Okay ngl, I think this is the weirdest animal mating sentence I’ve ever heard in my life
I HATE jellyfishes please enlighten the rest of these people
Jellyfishes are cool.
@@princesspancakes01 yes.
@@princesspancakes01 some doesnt sting tho
(idk)
@꧁CœttageTown꧂ that is adorable
@@GodittoC some
“Because if God wanted to make Godzilla in the form of a tadpole then damnit that’s just what’s gonna happen” I mean he’s not wrong
I mean he kinda is, seeing as if god exists, it just left the universe on its own, like a show, it gave a play button and rest just unfolds on its own.
Ever heard of a leviathan?
@@Rose333X not a single religion claims that God left the universe to unfold on its own
@@thatnike2604 He never stated that a religion had said so in his comment
@@wermthewerm belief in God is religion
I rarely subscribe to channels, take your win, you rock man!
Dude the commentary absolutely amazing. I could die laughing. thanks for your vids
“You really forgot how much of a unit appa really was”
You had me laughing for 8 minutes straight
Never forgot
2:52 That's not a wet sloth my man, that's a freaking sleep paralysis demon
YYEESSSS
Underrated comment
That's not a wet sloth thats an scp which appears on your tv
@@zadynhopkins6920 man scp 2774 really let go of himself
8:53 naw that’s Bigfoot 😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀🫡
ayo thanks for more facts. I've been watching your videos for a while now, and they always interest me.
"those fists could easily slapbox your soul into a factory reset"
i'm dying
I know an animal hood nature can’t ruin,
Puppies
I think most puppy scents come from the parasitic worms they have in their digestive system (unless that's a myth.)
I bet he can
I could ruin them rn but I won’t for your sake unless you want me to
They shit on ur carpet there’s nothin more to say
They are mini sharks with a desire to kill. Seriously, puppy teeth are SHARP
"I have personally forgiven sting rays for what they've taken away from me"
RIP Steve
I love the fact that koalas are so deranged a crocodile is easier to steal. 🤣
Manta rays are harmless until one of them body slams your boat after deciding it wanted to experience what it’s like to be a bird
People have actually tried to tame zebras before. But aside from a few unverified successes, zebras remain untamed.
My grandpa tried it on our farm. The workers rather wanted to sleep with a cobra and hungry hyena before trying that again.
I believe that Boba Fett had two wolf eels on Kamino when he was a kid in the book series based off of him. This was before Disney bought StarWars.
"They live up to a hundred years because even death procrastinates dealing with this thing." Best line
I love how this taught me more facts about nature than my school and homework combined
Pandas also have the strongest bite per pound of any bear, because biting hard ass Bamboo is a lot harder than biting soft flesh.
Stop spreading bs, the strongest bite force out of all bears is the Grizzly and it's just one googlensearch away
This is kinda unrelated but I remember that there's an orangutan in a zoo in Malaysia that always poses whenever you take pictures of it. Pretty cool actually.
@@fluffyness2990 Polar bear bite force PSI: 1200
Grizzly bear bite force PSI: 975
"iT's juST oNe gOogLE SeArcH awAy"
@@Wroxal I stand corrected. Thank you for the info!
@@fluffyness2990 No problemo, gotta love google
7:50 "Now, I have personally forgiven stingrays for what they've taken away from me..."
O U C H
I love these videos! it's funny and educational. which is harder to find than my will to live
“I’ve personally forgiven stingrays for what they’ve taken away from me.”
I HAVENT AND I NEVER WILL.
i dont get it. what have they taken away?😭😭
@@maggiesuarez7931 Steve Irwin
Hate it, but I don't blame them. Steve probably wouldn't and knew the risks he took.
@@rev0568 I like to imagine that when the stingray that killed Steve died, Steve was just waiting in stingray heaven for him all like "sorry I spooked you buddy, I know it wasn't your fault"
@@beanboy4900 Me too. That man was a gift to the world. I don't blame the sting ray either. I don't blame anybody. Poor thing got spooked and Steve just made a little mistake, which led to the circumstances and situation.
“If God wants Godzilla in the form of a tadpole then dammit that’s what’s gonna happen” that’s got me laughing for a while 😂😂😂
" I have personally forgiven stingrays for what they have took from me"
Feel u brother
If u know u know
"Just call it a baby shower" 😂😂😂
"He's basically getting Shawshank'd by a long neck Sandusky" 😂😂😂
How much y’all wanna bet this man’s search history makes the F.B.I silent
Why did you make them animals
Can I just say, let’s take a second to appreciate the fact that the woman was giving the arrangatang personal space, and being simply peaceful-
orangutans are generally polite. i think it's nice to be polite to them back XD
"arrangatang"
*ARRANGATANG*
arrangatang
arrange at tango
ar rang at ang
Ahhm..arrangatang
Casual: “I can ruin any animal you throw at me!”
Red Pandas: “I didn’t hear no bell!”
I swear he comes up with the best names for animals that could clap all of us
"And now we have a wolf eel.
... Why."
😆
I'm calling zebras as "homicidal barcodes" now 😂😂😂
This man’s knowledge is so
Abundant and on point but his punchlines are the best
Yoo, this guy is funny asf, I'm subbing
Basically Animal are great at ruining childhood,so that's quite nice.
And Hood Nature is also awesome so that's nice.
The zebra part reminds me of that line from that Tarzan movie "Horses kick to escape, but a zebra will continue until you're dead"
I've got friends whose boat got capsized by a manta ray after they crossed the corral barrier, those suckers aren't harmless. Nothing that big is harmless.
Just here to appreciate yozur content, nothing else. keep the great work bro
The blue whale pic reminds me of meeting Big Blue in Ecco - I'm pretty sure they made a point to have his sprite proportionately accurate to ecco's, because he's an ABSOLUTE UNIT and the echolocation map screen makes you think he's going to be much smaller. I bet meeting one in person while diving would feel pretty much the same way.
Also, a future topic suggestion: a sister series to this one where you "redeem" animals that are generally disliked, like rats, bugs, vultures, snakes, hyenas, etc.)
I can help out Vultures
Vultures eat a lot of diseases that could easily kill people, but their stomach acid is so strong they take these diseases as if they're a slurpee
This is why we should love our little maggot-eating parrots because they tank a ton of diseases that can death strike people, and we don't even say thank you
Thank you for the accurate Ecco reference. Meeting Big Blue was an awe inspiring scene when I first came across it, and it still gives me chills of excitement on the odd year I revisit the game.
1. How did you find out you had this gift?
2. What kind of a god would give you the gift of ruining all his creatures.
3. Why is your dark humor so hilarious?
4. Why do I love this so much?
5. Am I going to hell for liking this?
Can't go to hell if it doesn't exist. also its knowledge that's available for everyone, and god if it existed it wouldn't give a shit, its not human, so stop treating it as if it is.
@@Rose333X name checks out
@@Rose333X man, as a fellow atheist Im so fucking embarrased people like you exist, please take a joke instead of snowflaking like its 2016
1: he came out the womb spitting straight animal facts
2: the same that made these animals, he’s clearly kinda screwy
3: because laughing at the meaningless void of existence is profoundly satisfying
4:you got good taste
5: yes but probably not for this
@@Rose333X issa joke
Bro your videos are so funny
Literally watch them every morning for the laugh.
And the facts i guess lol
Small thing- that's an Alligator Snapping Turtle, 90% of the time you'll actually be encountering a Common Snapping Turtle. Commons aren't nearly as big.
“Slap box your soul into a factory reset”
🤣🤣🤣
"because even death procrastinate dealing with this thing"
is one sentence i'll keep close to my heart
Any animal that is Black and White will be considered psychopath as listed below:
Magpies
Panda
Zebra
Orcas
Sea snakes: you forgot about me bro
Cough cough *Humans*
@@flaretheartist cough cough animal rights activist
@@James-gy7sx who said i was active, have rights or an animal
@@flaretheartist OK I take back what I said
He has me ADDICTED TO NATURE 😩!! THE KIDS ASK,"WHY ARE U LAUGHING if it's ONLY NATURE?"
😆 I STILL CAN ONLY LAUGH EVEN HARDER 🌟🌟🌟🌟
You're not ruining animals, I love this content. Nothing is as sweet or innocent as you first think, especially ducks.
II am inclined to agree... but what about geese?
What about pigeon whats a non innocent behavior about them 😮
ESPECIALLY DUCKS
May I interest you in the Penguin
If you were my teacher, I might have graduated high school and went to college. Why cant school be more real.
The information is all there. You just had to read it.
"We would all be on shirts" - next scene is the merch promotion. 😂 I'm not sure if that was intentional but if it was, it was genius.
I found this channel randomly and have been binging episodes for the last few hours... When I heard the XXXtentacion instrumental at the end of this video I immediately said hold up and made sure I was subscribed
Wolf eels "these things mate for life so if somehow you're still single just know that this thing is doing better than you" LMAOO I'm dead 😂😂😂
That subtle, yet heartbreaking Crocodile Hunter reference.
“Y’all be on shirts” was a perfect ending and segue to that ad.
“Meet Patrick, the largest wombat to ever wombat”
Best line yet
"Now I have personally forgiven stingrays for what they have taken away from me". Fucking priceless
A stingray took away Steve Irwin. Not happy about that at all.
I'm loving the referral of zebras as "angry afro donkey"
You know what just about all the nicknames he gives animals are rad
What's more impressive than his knowledge of animals is how many synonyms he has for death.
This Brotha & Mr Ballen are some of the MOST gifted story tellers EVER
Fun fact: The people of Florida dodged the Terror Birds by 2 million years
I do turtle conservation in Costa Rica and let me tell you, the first time people see a leatherback their perspective on nature changes. Nothing is off the table once you see one.
A wet sloth looks like something from a god damn horror movie
why is i spoke with the devil in miami playing? 8:39