Nigerian Woman In The Diaspora Cries TEARS After Her Family Stole Her Money| Ep. 71
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- čas přidán 13. 04. 2023
- In today's REPAT podcast, we explore how money sent by diaspora communities to Africa is often misused. Hear from our host and guest as they discuss solutions to address the issue. Connect with us on social media and thanks for listening!
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This is why I’m only on social media two to three times in a year. They are so vicious and selfish they’ll never stop asking for money. They did that to my dad he got so depressed he didn’t wanna take care of himself he passed. My mum developed schizophrenia because of the stress but by God’s grace she’s alive doing great and building another house as we speak. I don’t mind helping here and there.. but expecting me to send you money every time u ask is not gonna work for me. The word NO can save your financial health in so many ways.
Oshay, basically the Nigerian sister was demanding her relative to send pictures showing how far (progress reports) on her building project. But her relative’s response was they couldn’t send pictures because the cellphone fell into water and got destroyed. She was told that they need 45,000 naira to buy a new phone just to take pictures and send the progress. Home girl sent the 45k and still no show. Basically she’s been duped by her family. Unfortunately this is not uncommon in Nigeria.
Wow thanks for the translation my brother!!
I understood
Is this usually family (mother, father) or is it sibling or extended ( sister, uncle, brother, cousin)?
@@littlemisstricky Usually siblings or cousins. There's a much less risk with parents.
This happens in America too. I have been taken advantage of by relatives. Crooks are in every country.
"Poor people do poor things", thank you Oshay.
I can relate to this young lady, similar thing happened to me, honestly It is shameful how our family in Africa take the piss and think money grows on trees here in the west, I am still reeling of the dept and so many things my family back home put me through, I cut them of I dont even speak to any of them now, I wish I did It long time ago, the left me broke and penniless, I am suffering here because of them, well I am paying for my ignorance now, I was thinking I'm helping them because I love them , not knowing It's the worse thing I did to myself, I was enabling them and hurting myself in the process, I cry everyday thinking about the damage that was done to me by the people I love and respected the most, they broke my heart 😭😭😭
This is called “The Black Tax”. Currently dealing with this issue. It never stops. Always asking you for money. It’s got so annoying I literally want to change my number.
It never stops.
They are so vicious, and these are people who call themselves your family.
@@HRL. it’s like, they think we living it up in heaven. Especially being the eldest. It’s like they automatically crown you the shepherd of the family 🤦♂️.
@lordyadof4022 Absolutely right.
Maybe they think one just sits in the house, and money flows out the kitchen taps.
Trust me, it's not easy being the first born. The expectations on one are so high, and these people believe it is their right to demand whatever comes to their minds to ask for.
I've lost more than I can think of.
I'm done with their crazy demands.
I may sound crazy saying this, but I will say it, I've made up my mind, soon my mum passes on and all that's needed to be done is done, I'm changing my phone number.
I am not interested in who gets what. Let them go sort themselves out with whatever it that's there to be scared.
Lord Yadof
Sorry to hear that but it has nothing to do with Black Americans parents! We freely give because they freely made a way out of no way and fought for us in the most hostile racists on earth. That is why we will NEVER allow our people to be washed out and replaced. I feel for Africans, but it's not our experience.
@@HRL. I definitely feel you. I’m at 98% two more “help me with money or by me a car, stuff like that” I’m definitely cutting the lines. Let bygones be bygones. At first I sent money for them to start a business all paid for, all they need is work with consistency and keep the profit. I don’t want a penny. But they went and added to their house(very unnecessary” in my opinion,,,but hey! 🤷♂️
This is a daily story and sadly it happens more amongst Nigerian and Ghanaian families.
Taking advantage of black women's kindness
This happens all over Africa, people are poor so what can you do, trust a new sibling . You also have to frequent the continent allot to make sure funds aren’t mismanaged.
Happens in Kenya too. We are not immune
Thanks for sharing. I had a couple of experiences with family and friends but the one I still can't get over was not about theft. I am an FBA. My sister, the smartest daughter my parents had, graduated from college with honors. I went to college; did well but I did not graduate with honors. I ended up with a position in a reputable agency, and even though my pay was pretty good for my position, it was moderate in status, which is why I was quite humble. One day, my mom, youngest sister (my mom’s favorite daughter,) and I were sitting around the kitchen table just discussing one thing and the other. I don’t remember what was said that made me respond, “Life isn’t fair,” but my sister turned to me, and with tears in her eyes, said, “You damn right, life isn’t fair. I graduated magna cum laude, and you got the good job.” I was stunned and heartbroken. I loved my little sister. I would have done anything for her; and in fact, had done so all of our lives, yet I had no idea she was so resentful of what she saw as my success. You never know how people feel about you…until you do.
Hey Oshay! I am first generation polish and an only child here in the USA. I am the only one born and raised here. Yes...ALL my family is in Poland...and guess what...my mom sold property I inherited from dad behing my back.
We are struggling renters in the bay area. I try to cope with my mom being such a selfish idiot.
I’m happy to have good parents. Every penny is accounted for. But for my brothers no word. They spend it on alcohol. I send them just enough to keep them going.
Stop sending them ANYTHING.
@@suezcontours6653 I don’t give them for free, they have to work for it.
Oshay great topic, but sad enough I'm married to a Liberian and her family have done us the same way. The good thing is that it wasn't her parents, but cousins. This has put me in some difficult situations being that I'm American and having a different mind mentality..I wanted to do bodily harm. So we had start doing things for ourselves.If we didn't do so we would have no home. Great topic!!!! Man I have stories for days, but I still love Africa this will not discourage me from living in Africa.
Come on and let's talk about it!
@Kenganda Man, just let me know when you want to connect. I'm on Est.time.
I have to say: this is the best Pan-African content channel that I've ever come across. Every single video you have is on point and are things that I, my cousins, and my family have thought and talked about over the years. My parents are from Rwanda but I was born and raised in the United States (in Sacramento, so we were in similar areas Oshay) so this type of talk all has relevance to me. I'm going to have to let my family know about this podcast. Thanks for all the hard work you do and keep on going
It really is the Best
That is exactly right. They need to work and save their money, and when they visit they deposit the money into their bank accounts little by little or wire the money to their bank accounts.
Not just Africa; Jamaica, Caribbean, south America etc. Some people work 3 jobs, sell themself etc. Most people make sacrifices they would not make back home. Then after the ungodly ordeal is over, they return home to enjoy the rest of there life, but there is nothing. Many people are murdered, threaten with bodily harm, are forced to return abroad back into the belly of the beast after your hopes/dreams are stolen.🇺🇬🇧🇼🇯🇲🇭🇹🇿🇲🇨🇬🇿🇦🇳🇦🇰🇪🇿🇼🇻🇨🇲🇼🇬🇭🇪🇹🙌🏾
No wonder China is there now.
This happens to African-Americans, too.
That question should be explored and pulled apart to find the solutions.
The guest speaker said they don't have opportunities, here in Nigeria a lot of people are resigning from their work and getting out of the country. Sometimes, these dudes sell their houses, cars and when they get to the Western world they can't replicate the same, they can't even build a flat as compared to 6 blocks of flats he had sold to get himself to the Western world.
It's really wickedness against humanity for anyone that do this to their family! This is the reason we are where we are!.
Indeed selling your children's heritage to go to the west so the people will also label you " been-to"
Osha, why do black people call each other brother and sister if they rob you?
They should stop that.
This happens everywhere, diaspora from West Indies know this story well…
Once they know that you have no quick way of returning to inspect your investment, that's when things go wrong.
Trust no one, sometimes you can't even trust yourself. Send no money back home to do nothing. If you can't do it yourself, wait till you can. every year you go do a little. it is better that way.
I'm African living in Europe and I honestly find it very hard to go out of my way to give opportunity to/ help a fellow black. My experiences have left me with only regret. I hate to say this but if I were put in position to choose, I'd rather help a white over black.
Lets stop blaming our politicians and leaders. They are a reflection of ourselves
No our leaders are to blame because they are corrupt they use the peoples money as their private bank account!! money that should go to creating job opportunities and helping small businesses to grow goes to a corrupt leaders pocket. People have to leave their countries and move abraod to be wiping ass in Europe insted of staying at home!
I dont know how many times I try to get family to invest, but they just won't do it and have no interest even if you guide them. They always hit you with that line I don't have money to invest. SMH, I just saw you on a cruise with a brand new wardrobe designer at that. When will people stop faking like they got it and actually sacrifice to get it? I'm so sick of us walking around without a clue as to what is going on in the world.
We' ve been brought up in a hypocritical society.
See what others have and go into debt or spend to get it immediately. Funny enough. There will always be the newest cruise, outfits, cars.
I'd rather by for a 1000 suit will making 30 grand a month than a 1000 suit while making 1500.
African governments need to support small and medium-scale businesses.
I think we should focus more on ourself than government, government are the byproducts of society/us. So if government is not doing anything is because we are not doing anything. Did you ask yourself do I have plan for my family, how I’m going educate my children and so forth. If you are not asking those questions than you shouldn’t be blaming the government. People are see hyper focused on the government most of time are the does not give any thought about the things I mentions here. If we take those questions seriously, maybe one day the government will come from a nurtured environment where they have those values than you can expect from them those values
Glad I found this channel. New subscriber 🟥⬛️🟩
Thank so much !
Power of the word NO! If you can have boundaries be prepared to be taken advantage of you worldwide
Khadam for male/Khadama for female means servant in Arabic.
We can't trust any relative in our village because they are incompetent to help with the kind of projects we have undertaken. It would be our fault if we threw our money at them. We help with the little they ask.
We hit the jackpot in Uganda with the most trusted engineer who we don't share tribe or religion. He gave up building in Kampala to help us establish ourselves with our village projects. So far, every brick has been accounted for. In Africa It's research, luck and listening to your gutt feelings.
Wow my brother thank you for this insight
If you find someone trustworthy and dedicated. Then you are lucky. I have met people whose betrayer was there very wife. So consider it a blessing from God, if you find someone you can trust. Financial institutions are not a 100% guarantee also. They have been going bankrupt and leaving there clients poor 🇯🇲🇿🇼🇨🇬🇷🇺🇺🇬🇭🇹🇭🇹🇻🇨🇿🇲🇲🇼🇳🇦🇿🇲🇪🇹🇿🇦🇳🇦🙌🏾
Its very hard to find trust worthy people anywhere. You can get swindled in America. In Africa, you should be on the ground to get your projects done. If you're want to build a house, its sometimes better to buy a house that's already built so that you don't have to suffer through getting cheated by everyone involved.
Africa could be much further along if diasporans were appreciated.
How can you change this situation.
1 educating families in Africa in knowing how hard these people have to work in that country.
If and when possible take a trip back home to see for self how things are progressing.
Creat some insensitive to keep them going.
It's not easy this does happen in the Caribbean also.
Or
Save your money until your return and do what you want.
There is a solution OShay, I think Africa needs to work as a collective, an investment architecture needs to be setup by the government to enable these funds coming into Africa go towards the right investments.
It is not just the money that was wasted because we can all get more money, it was the HOURS of this lady's LIFE that was wasted for nothing and decieved. She will never get those hours, days YEARS of her life back again.
Remember that it's not money which is evil.
It's the LOVE of money which is the Root of ALL EVIL.
Everyone loves having money. Don't lie.
100% Truth. Do as much as you can yourself, and anything that you have them do, watch them do it, and know, that no matter how much you help them, it will only make you poorer, for the effort, if what you do is less than educating them so they can do things themselves.
If african people are going overseas to work, why don't they put their money in a bank? Save up their money there. If they want to send a small amount each month to their family in Africa they can do so. Not so much where they will be broke. Continue to save money, then go back to their country and build a house if they like. I think that is the most logical thing to do.
First and foremost many banks are corrupt, people do save money here too
@@Wananga39 Yes, some banks are corrupt but people shouldn't tempt poor families with money. Poor people will do what poor people do, sometimes.
Oshay, that lady isn't attempting to speak English, she's speaking Pidgin.
And oshay says he went to nigeria lol
Can we set up a gofundme for our sister?
Kahdama means domestic worker
This podcast has TAUGHT me so much about the rest of Africa....keep it coming gents
Respect from SA🙌
Great content as usual Oshay..this is a huge topic...I can even say its an issue also religiously for many evangelical Christians in the diaspora. A sizeable percentage of evangelical african Christians in the diaspora casting out demons in fiery prayers or alluding to family members back home who might be or deemed responsible for their lack or challenges in the diaspora can be linked to this. Some family members back home don't care for the back-breaking work you may have to do in the west and entitle themselves to you sending back money to them. This can lead to new family Conflicts and breakdowns between ppl in the diaspora and family back home. Sometimes when you see or hear african Christian aunties casting out demons or suspicious ppl in prayer impacting their diaspora financial circumstances burdensomely they may be alluding to these situations for real. Its that serious
Great info on Britam, man I’m going to look into that for myself. I’m always interested in a new investment vehicle.
The same thing happen to my Kenyan co-worker' SMH !!!
15:36 time stamp,
" how do we overcome that, do you think, "
In social engineering,
You " fake it , until you make it"
By telling people that they are "better than" they actually are,
Eventually they actually will start treating each other better.
Movies and later TV in the USA was used in this manner.
A house maid in UAE is called Kadama
That was a great question
..that's the right word..swindle.
Welcome to Africa
Those you love the most ,( will cost you to shed the most tears). Facts?
starting 35:08 🤣 i died LMAOOOOO, he said Kadamas i see you crying 😂
Yeah lots of Kenyans, Nigerians, and an uptick in Ugandans in the last year here in Qatar.
Outa Brian is a cool dude. Outa Brian is a brilliant guy.
They may feel entitled if they have or are taking care of your kids
Sad
Put your money in a HYSA *
What is name of investment company. Brittan?
Hakiminolgy would not work in this instance 😂
I'm happy for you, Oshay. I started watching you when you first arrived in Uganda, and a year later, in 2018, we crossed paths. I had recently purchased a car and wanted to test out the Uber service, when I ran into you as your Uber driver that night to Laparonis, another restaurant and back to your apartment. Actually, we spoke, and I realized that I knew you from CZcams. I reminded you of the old videos you made while in Uganda, which you thankfully took down, because they had a wrong narrative about Uganda. I'm pleased to see how much you've changed and grown. I took your phone number (ending 89) , and I still have it, brother.
Shocker vibes
LOL, she is an EDO woman, very interesting.
What does it matter
What's the point of that 😕 🤔
The government should get involved, the court system should get involved, it is called punishment, the Bible says this shall not steel, whether family, friend or stranger, there should be consequences, nothing is done, so it becomes the norm. This guy says he is a pastor and didn’t even say thou shall not steal. The Most High has a judgement also call punishment so one way or the other it will be dealt with.
Blessings
This happened with some of my dads siblings and we had family drama over it but honestly in the long term they are family and you will need your family when you come back home, so eeh she’s being a bit dramatic, this is not new behavior from Africans.
Dramatic ke? You must not know what it means to do three cleaning shifts in a day...
@@mylifeisinhishandsamen4167 Hey people back home are poor, and the government corruption cultivates this behavior in Nigeria, Cameroon, Niger, Burkino Faso, Mali etc. etc. Africans are in hard times, use your sense of judgment, Give your money to a trustworthy family member, make sure you visit annually or semiannually to make sure they are working on the house or business , if you find one family member is stealing have another family member regulate your money. If you can’t make back home have a free or family who’s going back home, take pictures of the work and show you. Our people are suffering at home, use your brain.
Oshey, is this investment company you mentioned having an app in the app store?
Britam usually operates in Kenya and Uganda but also other countries. They have a really good money market investment fund we use called the umbrella fund
@@Kenganda Thank you very much.
I do appreciate this information.
I will look them up on how to contact them.
Thank you! 🙏
@@Kenganda Thank you for sharing the info
Kadama mean higgler in Jamaica hustlers
background research ever heard of it?
No what does that mean? Please educate us we are dumb
@@Kenganda You pull a story and want to build a whole episode around it but don't do any research to make sure that you can start the piece with a cogent explanation...come on....maybe put down the drink.....
Part time Pozzy doctor 💊💉
oshay duck jakson ferm ta guel chague jour chaque jour les africain
She is speaking Pidgin not English 😅
A lot of generalizations, you guys are talking about an entire continent like it's a small country. "Africans are quite shady". Have you lived all over Africa?
This your stereotype of West Africans is hilarious. Nigeria is only one country in western Africa out of 17 countries. Out of them 11 are French speaking not English. 1 Arabic and 1 prutegess. Only five are English speaking Nigeria, Liberia, sierra leaon,Ghana and The Gambia. Pigin English is only spoken in Nigeria out of the 5 too. Try been specific about countries rather generalizing west African, how can you generalized west African English when there are only 5 out of 17 west African countries that speak English. Say that you don't understand Nigerian pigin English rather than say West Africa. How can you understand west African when majority don't sprak English lol
You make good points however I want to correct you on one of them. Pidgin English is spoken in all of the English speaking countries of West Africa. Nigeria, Ghana, Sierra Leone, Gambia, English section of Cameroon. I have personal experience of interacting with people from all of these countries. Peace my sister.
I agree, your comment is factual. We black Americans have been misseducated through the social system in the USA. We generally are not internationally astute, we think every thing is a blanket.
I’m African-American and I swear that I could clearly hear her say she called them but she could not reach them so she called again and they said they dropped the phone in the Fu Fu water and she sent them 45,000 Niara for it and they still took her money. 🤷🏽♀️
@@blackmagic6 lol my bro or sister what does pigin Gambian English sound like. It is not spoken in Gambia at all. Gambian speak wollof or mandinka in their daily interactions. Also the pigin spokon in the other three countries are a bit different. They call it krio not pigin
@@mickeitachannel498: I’ve just had a look at your channel. You cover topics that I find interesting as I love to learn about Africa as they are my people. I have therefore subscribed. ☺️
I think this story is one sided,
Have you heard from the family members.
I am not saying that this can not happen but have you find out if the family sold family property to send her abroad.
Remember the danger of single sided story.
Also slot of Africans in diaspora send money home and such work is done.
In Nigeria their are agencies you can use to do errands for you if you do not trust family members ( help me Waka).
I know someone that sent money to mother to help her build house and when she returned for her wedding not house was erected.
Because she is her mother and she saw the state she was leaving in made her understand that the mother is not looking like someone that took the money for her self. further investigation shows that an uncle duped the mother.
Some people will send money to someone that have never done something before nor have experience in such matter and expect them to perform miracles.
Asking for pictures can be deceiving what if they send you someone else's house picture because i have seen someone that such happened to.
Are you seriously saying West Africans do not speak proper english. West Africans have pidgin English that is also called broken english and we have proper english. so do not say east africans soeak better english than west africans Get educated. You guys are located in Uganda but you are always covering stories in west Africa.
Of course they speak English, I'm a Portuguese speaker person and I understanding the west Africa english!
He said HE doesn't understand West African English, must he lie about what he understands to please you
In Black American Community, everyone knows that saying "I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD AND I WILL TAKE YOU OUT! " has absolutely NOTHING to do with MONEY! That saying comes from when you think you can DISRESPECT by TALKING ISH to your parents! Please don't think they don't mean it. Black American parents don't play the getting in their faces with disrespect. So watch your accuracy in the betrayal of our people. In the Southern United States, we answer our elders and our parents with Yes ma'am and No ma'am! I share Cali and the South and I know California kids unless their parents are Southern know nothing about this and many talk back to their parents! We FREELY give to our parents when we make it because they have sacrificed so much for us. Most never ask for anything!
Facts, my brother. The black Americans in the South are different very humble. It's sad we fall victim due to circumstances. My dad would slap the back of my head so hard if he caught me not saying sir/ma'am.
Exactly! I honor them and I am proud they raised us with the attributes and traditions they instilled in us!
Nobody said it had anything to do with money. I agree with your assessment it has everything to do with respect but my point was that is a level of entitlement even in that statement.
@@Kenganda
I can't speak for all Black American southerners but I don't think most of us see it as them as feeling entitled. Can you elaborate on why you came to your conclusions it's an entitlement?
Exactly! I’m from Northern California and my parents etc are from Texas. As a Black/African-American the comment “I brought you in the world and I can take you out.” Has nothing to do with entitlement. It means their child (young or grown) did or said something disrespectful. And trust and believe when you hear those words it will be swift consequences.
On the other side I get what he’s saying about entitlement with that statement but it was probably a bad example. However, there are better examples of entitlement in our culture especially revolving around funerals, insurance policies, land/deeds etc. And I’ll leave it at that. 😂
Why do people like to use NIgeria for these negative stories? This happens all over Africa, and even in the Caribbean. This is not new. It happens everyday, but for some reason, you want to add that ‘NIgerian’ to get views. There has been an increase in killing and crime going on in South Africa, for some reason, no one is reporting about it. If that was Nigeria, it will be all over social media.
Brother do not take offence to it. He used this video as an example, he is not just talking about nigerians only, this applies to all Africans, we are all suffering. He always puts the person's nationality in the title, even when it's an African American!
Bro , don't take it personlig. This is common among African as mentioned in their talk.