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Just pretend every time they say 'starfleet' they mean 'space force', and every time they say 'Romulan' they mean 'chromulan', and every time they say 'borg' they mean 'korg'. Yeah, I'll have a pint of 'korg', please. Under these conditions it gets at least a 5/10 from me. Which is always better than Emerdale (-20000).
I think the Rich Evans here is NOTHING like the Rich Evans from the original show. I get that the writers wanted a darker more gritty Rich Evans but it just doesn't suit the character. It doesn't help matters that they rendered him in cheap CG.
Everyone is so nostalgic for supposedly "classic" Rich Evans, but this is a Rich Evans for a new generation! We couldn't just keep the old Rich Evans to appeal to middle aged manbabies, we need a Rich Evans more in tune with modern sensibilities.
This Rich Evans swears randomly takes drugs and gouges peoples eyes out, it's what reflects the current political climate and therefore transcends the original philosophy of Rich Evans.
Rich yelling "Captain Picard isn't here, Mike!" has the same feeling of desperation as someone yelling at a widow that her husband died in that car wreck 10 years ago.
Fun fact, rich Evans isnt a human. He's actually an angel sent to earth with the mission of helping Mike move on from Star Trek. As you can see he's having a hard time.
There is no happiness and joy in Alex Kurtzman's heart. It's physically impossible for him to conceptualize an equal society because he's a fucking asshole.
Even if I agree, it ain't the first time we see those, in DS9 S4E24 there is a hilarous scene where Quark put some annoying pop up ads for his bar in DS9's main systems x)
@@redfog29 You're right, but the difference is the tone of the show surrounding it. In DS9 it was treated as a disgusting aberration that should be remedied. In Picard, it was treated as an ordinary experience that only the sheltered characters were unfamiliar with. Both are played for laughs, but in DS9 the joke was how much of a greedy scoundrel Quark is for doing it. In Picard the joke is on the characters who are too innocent to be able to handle the invasion of privacy and personal space. Finally, in DS9, it was explicitly something done by a hack into a secure system by a sometimes-criminal. In Picard, there was no indication that this was in any way a bypass of La Sirena's security but is instead unblockable and required no initiation by the recipient. That alone is a terrifying vision of the future. Sadly, I doubt the writer(s) involved in this scene considered _any_ of this, and instead were wholly convinced it was an absolutely hilarious joke that will keep non-sci-fi fans engaged by being "relatable".
"Picard is going to be an in-depth, slower-paced character study on Picard where we completely ignore all of Picard’s character traits so we can have a scene where a ninja beheads a former Romulan senator who now is a helpless, scuzzy bandit in a no-humans bar." The best description of the series.
It felt like Mike was interrogating Rich the entire time while Rich was trying his best to convey to Mike the truth, which is of course that there are four lights.
I'm a filthy bitch who owns A Serbian Film and Martyrs on BluRay and the Criterion DVD of Salo, 120 Days of Sodom. So I can firmly be honest by saying... that fucking shit doesn't belong in Star Trek. They directly go into WHY that scene doesn't belong, explicitly afterwards. I think a couple of you missed that lol
The best eye ripping out scene I've ever seen was in the Channel 4 series Utopia. It's an effectively done scene with tension, buildup, payoff etc. and it works because it fits with the theme of the show, and demonstrates the ruthlessness of the main antagonists of the series, who will rip out someone's eye and then [attempt to] kill them to establish that they don't have the information they're looking for. Graphically ripping out Icheb's eye and then killing him doesn't work the way the same thing did in Utopia because it feels so out of place. It's a graphic detail that makes no sense in a series that also makes no sense, done for no reason at all.
Rich: *exasperated* “we are the only people who care!” The people: we care. We all care just as much as you. Please don’t stop these reviews. It makes me feel sane to see these godawful episodes ripped apart. Ichep actor drama was interesting too.
I choked on my toast a little when he said "Ok so lets move on to the next episode..."; I love these reviews but it's baking my noodle that we would miss all this if they hadn't made that God-awful Picard series (thankfully I ignored some stupid friends advice to watch it)...
@@fiddledotgoth Good call. I wish I could unwatch the first 3 episodes. Well, 3.5 episodes. I fast-forwarded through most of the last half of the 4th and couldn't bring myself to watch the 5th.
The best Star Trek show right now is the Orville but you already knew that... Oh, wait! I see what you did there... With STAR TREK in the title. Well played, well played!
You can hear him laughing in the end when Rich is leaving, so they still forced him to sit behind the camera listening to them talking about Star Trek and will continue to do so with their future re:Views. :)
"You don't understand our ingenuity, our self sufficiency" two seconds later "why didn't you do a better job helping us?" That's great writing right there.
"Why did Picard start a fight?" You guys aren't stupid enough to figure it out: they're trying to deconstruct TNG's moral opposition to injustices by showing the stupidest version of it failing in their grimdark reimagining.
Ding ding ding. And "why is it the Federation's responsibility to save the Romulans?" the answer is because the Federation has the most power, therefore they are the only ones who can do anything because everyone is a pawn unless they are all-powerful. (And therefore nothing is your fault or your responsibility. Except if you're PICARD, THE BIG BAD STRAIGHT WHITE FEDERATION MAN WITH A VINEYARD.)
Yup. This is the JJ-verse. Dumb, blunt and obvious. Roddenberry's original idea was for a utopian universe, where problems like poverty, racism and sexism no longer existed and conflict only came from other races. While this was a good idea in general, he also didn't want conflict between the main characters, which leads to very boring characters that have no flaws or problems to overcome. Writers complained about the "Roddenberry Box" all through season 1 of TNG. At the other extreme, we have the JJ-verse, where conflict comes from EVERYWHERE, including problems that shouldn't exist in a utopian universe, like poverty, racism and sexism. They turned Star Trek into dumb, violent action schlock.
@@KneelB4Bacon Thats part of what makes DS9 so good. They really tried hard to honor Roddenberry's vision while not being restricted to it and ultimately ended up putting said utopia to the test by focussing on the federation being in conflict with other races that totally are not following said paradigms. Including all the "real world issues" and moral dilemmas such an interaction would cause. New Trek: Something went boom and thats why people are savages now.
Which is rubbish because her reaction wasn't that of a psychopath (who probably wouldn't have felt any emotion at all for the violent death of their adopted child), it was violent and came from a place of revenge (a very human trait) but not that of a psychopath.
@@capuchinseven True, true. But for decades, STAR TREK had a very enlightened message about violence and revenge - it was depicted in a way more sophisticated way and not like KILL BILL in space.
If it comes to that it will be far more comapssionate like "of mice and men" where rich compassionately says "tell me about the romulans, george" while mike stares off into the distance, just b4 rich mercifully puts a bullet in the back of his head.
To be fair regarding Picard and children....... After "The Inner Light" Picard did soften towards children quite a bit due to living through a life as a father and grandfather.
I agree I don't think him liking children is a problem. My problem is that I find it very jarring that out of no where and with no explanation he just loves this random kid with no real explanation that he does, then in the same scene he leaves the child for atleast 14 years. I just didn't really get the point of the scene. Why not just have him be normal Picard, what is the need for 1 random scene of him without a kid
@@pisscvre69 It never even occurred to me that it was STD. Now STD is with me forever, like it or not. Even long after STD is gone, the damage it did is irreparable.
"Will anybody talk to me about Star Trek: Picard?" Here we observe the wild Mike in his natural habitat, letting loose his mating call while sitting alone in the dark.
The beat scene of graphic violence I think Star Trek ever did revolved around Nog losing his leg. It’s bitter, tumultuous and tragic, but slowly he regains his station and confidence and recovers. It was handled in a very Star Trek manner. A realistic look at how someone even in a distant fantastical future like Star Trek may suffer and be slowed down by such an event, but ultimately can come back from it.
It's only a paper moon is excelent and hard to watch at the same time. The late Aron Eisenberg sold that so well at the end, it's heartbreaking and makes an already great character even more memorable...
If you had told me during season 3 of DS9 that by season 7 a hologram of a 1950s Vegas lounge singer was going to become a major character I wouldn't have believed you. I would also be certain that if it *did* happened I'd absolutely hate it. Somehow it happened and it worked really well, especially in episodes like "It's Only a Paper Moon".
@@BiggieTrismegistus That's the overall magic behind DS9's writing and the execution, they took all the parts that should be bad on paper, a stationary place, the Cardassians and the Ferengi as one of the main species instead of "cool" ones like Klingons, Borg and Romulans and so on, even the focus on war as a huge junk of the series isn't something I would want to watch, in Star Trek even less so, but they executed everything so well, it's like they set themself this as a challenge and succeded.
The "Romulans Only" sign reminds me of those hand-written "No Boys Allowed" signs pre-teen girls put on their bedroom doors in sitcoms. Also it was nice for the Romulans to write that sign in Earth English so that a visiting Andorian or Betazoid would also know to stay out... or does the 25th century Universal Translator project translated images into the mind like a TARDIS?
@@sorryifoldcomment8596 To be fair, I have caught things like that on quality Star Trek, but finding a bad thing in quality Star Trek is like finding a good thing in kurtzman trek.
I know this comment is old but bringing up the TARDIS only reminded me of how Doctor Who's Series 11 and 12 has fallen itself in some ways similar to Discovery and Picard as well. It'd be interesting if RLM would ever visit that franchise to watch but that would take a long time to cover given there's the classics and NuWho.
I expected Rich to plead for people to donate to their Kickstarter, so they can afford the operation that will expunge all of the Star Trek knowledge from Mike's brain. "He said it would be such a relief."
"I expected Seven of Nine to work at the Daystrom Institute, you know using her intellect." *Laughter* " Oh Rich" "She is a vigilante warrior now, in space"
I think, honest to God, Patrick Stewart REALLY wanted to do a violent space dramedy with Tarantino, who originally expressed interest in directing his own... version of a Star Trek film, and when it didn't turn out CBS pitched Stewart on a "Darker, more violent Star Trek" and he went for it because the man is old, bored, and just wants to have fun. Problem is... Alex Kurtzman is NOT Quentin Tarantino. And while a Tarantino style Star Trek film would still be a tonal opposite of the Star Trek universe's morals and values, it would still at least have the intelligence to be self-aware. Alex Kurtzman writes a super violent and dark Star Trek alright, but it is NOT self aware of its conflicting themes and writing... worse yet, it actually takes itself seriously.
The problem with the current versions of Star Trek is that anybody with even a modicum of intelligence is constantly asking "WTF?" It's like watching that stupid Prometheus film. It was gorgeous, well directed... and written by Damon Lindelhof. That film was so bad that any film I consider seeing I first check to see if Lindelhof is even CONNECTED with the film - if he is, I'm out. We have a plague of terrible writers in Hollyweird, and he's one of the worst. He cannot make a coherent logical storyline. I'm sick of bad writers. All this money is dumped into directors, good actors, and sets, and amazing special effects, and they get the biggest morons to write the stupidest of scripts and they end up making a terrible experience, over, and over, and over again. Why is it so impossible to get writers that are competent?
That's the saddest part about all this. I could see this, written by Tarrantino, being *PHENOMENAL* . Because he'd pull off some weird, wacky shit, giving little hints that *this isn't the mainline universe* until just flat-out demonstrating it at the end. Or something like that. *Anything* but this anti Star Trek *garbage* that we got. And I say this as someone who isn't even that big a Star Trek fan.
@@RaptorJesus Oh and then do a cut to show what Picard in the main universe was doing! Perhaps he was sitting peacefully enjoying an afternoon at the rebuild vinyard estate? Or perhaps he saved many a Romulan and is a revered person, having died a few years after from the totalled up stress on his body? Like with how the Enterprise C was the lynchpin for peace with the Klingons, Picard's actions and his well-known captainhood of the Enterprise D.... it'd make a nice symmetry to it all. The Enterprise being an almost fated vessel to achieve great things.
Well Klutzman ripped off most of the plot from Mass Effect probably thinking they were mostly the same thing having never seen an episode of real Star Trek in his life
Who was that “Romulans Only” sign for? Wasn’t it at a Romulan Refugee colony with only Romulans? Someone in the writers room probably got some high-fives for that and no one thought it through
Picard is one of the stupidest shows I've ever seen. It's also downright hateful of Star Trek, its fans, everyone who worked on the franchise prior to 2009, common sense and decency. Discovery is the same way.
Technically spock was still around roughly up until romulus was destroyed. The way I interpreted it is that the Federation quashed Picard's evacuation plan, forcing Spock, who at that point no longer had a starfleet commission, to use the last ditch red matter plan. It honestly might be the only thing in S1 that is actually consistent with older star trek media.
Well since neither of them can remember even the simplest of names and places, they definitely both have it. Mike can't even remember anything although he has made NOTES.
My favorite part of all these re:Views on Star Trek: Picard have these horrorable predictions for what would happen and yet, their predictions are all better than what actually happens.
Anyone else notice the Romulan senator sounded exactly like Forest Whitaker's character in Battlefield Earth? Definitely an iconic performance worthy of replication
No he isnt, the picard here, is a soy drinking feminist ally who let's every female in his life talk down to him and order him about and just takes it because he doesn't want to be a toxic male unlike the determined,capable and strong willed captain he used to be that wanted people to adhere to rank
30 years from present: "Poor Mr. Stoklasa's dementia has been bad lately. We are going to have to up his meds, he is getting very agitated talking about that Pickard person and President Culkin."
It is abundantly clear what the goal of these videos is. Mike is forcing Rich to do them, and then throughout the video he proceeds to bait Rich and try to get him to go into a classic Rich Evans rant. At 12:28 you can see the smirk on Mike's face as his plan comes to fruition.
If you like star trek then Picard is sodding awful. I watch it because I haven’t quite given up on the star trek franchise but get no enjoyment out of it. But these reviews are far more entertaining
Mike's inconsolable grief reminds me of those nature documentaries where the elephant mom can't believe her calf is dead, and keeps nudging it hoping it'll spring back to life.
these star trek reviews are like reverse BOTW. in botw mike just dunks on rich the whole episode. but in review its like rich exasperatedly trying to keep his senile grandpa from choking to death on applesauce while rambling about fragging his commanding officer in vietnam
It really does show where their heads are. Jean-Luc (the character) is French. So the show writers have him dress up in costume and do an accent...as a Frenchman with a horrible French accent. Job done guys!
Also, I believe it’s Star Trek canon that France was taken over by Britain in WW3 (hence why Picard and his family have English accents), so French has been a dead language/accent for generations.
That's actually Patrick Stewards best attempt at a French accent, he did the same thing when auditioning for TNG and they made him keep the British accent because the French one was so damn bad.
They captured the spirit of Next Gen perfectly. I always loved when Picard would fly off the handle Or when they would throw diplomacy out the window and start chopping off heads.
@@2OldGeeksTalking all forms of franchise entertainment are now empty vessels into which freshman Hollywood can pour it's virtue signaling identity politics. Even Sesame Street.
@@2OldGeeksTalking I am pretty sure these writers never watched a single episode of TNG. Just like the writers of the latest Star Wars trilogy apparently never watched Star Wars.
@@Plur307 the maybe even bigger problem: They might have watched it but then ignorantly decide to throw almost everyting out the window although they should know that they will piss off millions of fans.
Kurtzman would like that. He likes ideas he can steal from other work. He'll be thinking it's like the cat from Captain Marvel. I wonder if he's trying to get Mads for his Clarice show.
I don't really have much love for Picard as a show but I can't believe anyone has any trouble understanding it. It is a pretty easy show to follow even if it isn't terribly well made.
He's trying to figure out why the two are connected... best I can think? The writers are trying to say that Mars was building ships to help with the relocation. But when it goes tits up, they no longer have the ships to spare. Mike is saying this is fucking retarded. He can't fathom the leap in logic here. You wouldn't build ships specifically for this, you'd just reassign existing ships. And since its a temporary assignment, you really wouldn't bother creating more ships to replace the ones temporarily helping Romulans. So why the hell would these two events be connected? Unless the writers are stupid, and assume we are too.
This might be my favourite piece of RLM...and I have seen alot. "This is what grief looks like." Rich's best line and he is the one that uttered "A-T-S-T...A-T-S-T!!!
@@puipui2949 Hey man, I just made the comment because I thought the quotes were hilarious (I greatly dislike Alex Kurtzman's style of storytelling). I can't really help if people give my comments likes.
@@puipui2949 Did that feel good ? I bet you looked real smug after you pressed enter on this high-IQ observation. It's called 'The Comment section', not 'The discussion Forum'.
I'd have been very happy if they had made Picard simply about Picard. Living out his final days on Earth on his vineyard, feeling dejected and lonely as the sole remaining Picard, when a young cadet seeks him out and visits him when he has time off from his studies at the academy. A slow burning, contemplative series about learning the intricacies of an individual, the steady growth of friendship and the lessons of the past. A little pinch of bittersweet melancholy can be present but the Federation optimism should remain intact.
I want to hear them say, "I'd rather watch an entire Star Trek movie built around them saving a whale," then realize the writers used to be so good, they actually did that and it was damn fun.
STD was definitely the dumpster fire. Picard is the burnt-out wreckage from that fire raining down on the head of a confused and borderline-senile Patrick Stewart while he dramatically reads excerpts from "50 Shades of Grey".
"We romulans are are a people of ingenuity, resolve and self-sufficiency" If they are so proud about self-sufficiency, why do they demand the help of the federation? That's the opposite of self-sufficiency and ingenuity. If they have so much resolve, why does their place look like everyone there has given up?
I would argue that Picard got over his dislike of children during the events of The Next Generation. Between his relationship with Wesley, and his experiences in the "Captain Picard Day" episode, I go the impression that he had softened on kids even as far back as then. Even as Rich and Mike point out, by the end of the series he joins in on the Poker game, he has been shown across the seven seasons of the show to be less of a curmudgeon and a hard ass than he was at the start.
Q is gonna be so disappointed after finding that Picard and the Federation backslid into narcissistic meta shit that's being tacked on by 21st century producers.
It's a shame Rich has lost all patience for star trek nitpicking, since that is the highest intellectual pursuit for all of us old star trek fans. Rich, if you're reading this: get your act together, nitpicking microscopic details in sci fi is what we're here for, and the only reason why we're not hanging ourselves in disgust at the collapse of all we hold dear! Damn it, man :D
@@ScratchNSniffff For what it's worth, these RLM videos are just as good even if you haven't seen the actual show. I'm laughing my ass off while they explain this nonsense, without the pain of experiencing the ruination of Star Trek and Jean-Luc Picard. (A.K.A. "The Kurtsmanning")
I like when Picard starts the fight. Reminded me of the episode when he talked about how he almost died in a fight and has a fake heart now. You’d think someone who almost died in a fight would not pick fights at bars
Oh, you mean the episode where he spent the entire time trying to avoid the fight, realizing it was part of what made him who he was, and embraced his more daring side after seeing the unfulfilled life that avoiding conflict would lead him to? Yeah that's a great episode to bring up here. You should watch it. C'mon, that was the whole point. I don't like Picard either but now you're starting to misrepresent TNG to criticize it, and that is not even remotely necessary here. It crashed and burned all on its own.
@@DeadBlockLocke I think that's a superficial way of looking at this, the point of that event was that the Picard who had a brush with death was able to take command of the USS Star-Gazer (meaning that he was brave enough to take on responsibility). In Picard he randomly starts a fight due to emotional reasons.
"I totally expected her to be working at the Daystrom institute, you know using her intellect." "Oh Rich, hahahaha, let me tell you about a man named Alex Kurtzman" 😂😂😂😂
"Hey remember Icheb?" Yeah that naive, yet plucky, kid who looks up to seven like a sister. What's he up to? "We wrote him getting harvested for parts. ENJOY YOUR NEW *STAR* *TREK* SHOW"
It was pretty horrific and would never have flown if it weren't a subscription service, but to be fair that is what people seem to enjoy these days. To understand why they did it, just look at the popularity of Game of Thrones and such. People seem to get off on it. As far as in universe, they had to convey how truly horrible this was. If it was as glossed over as torture in TNG or others of it's era, no one would even blink. They would just say, oh that kid from voyager died. Wait why is Seven crazy now?
I remember when Star Trek had a hopeful view of the future, inspiring kids and providing a bit of escapism when the real world was so depressing and sad. Thanks Alex Kurtsman & Co for robbing my kids of that so you could chop off heads & shit. I personally can't wait for their next show... Star Trek annihilation or some shit, where kurtsman just films a puddle of cold jizz for 10 hours.
When it cut back to Mike I thought he had taken out a chart or graph or something.. like there's enough to talk about to require visual aid but it's still all so dull.
44:55 to 50:00 feels like an intervention for a dementia patient. When Rich sits there and just blurts out “Captain Picard isn’t here, Mike”, it’s like something out of a Twilight Zone episode where Mike thinks he’s IN Star Trek.
This feels like an hour-long therapy session where both patients think the other one is the therapist.
im glad mike finally got to make his star trek podcast that he's always wanted to do.
That is SO accurate hahaha
hahaha
Have you ever watched Hannibal? :P
forced content. CZcams is an approved scam & spy business.
Terms & conditions are written and used by mafiAAA: We can do whatever we want and we are not responsible for anything. You have no choice but to agree.
Thank you for your (manufactured) consent! Now please enjoy your tiny carrot, while we put sticks in your back.
Exploiting vulnerable people makes Life All Good. LAG works!
I'll never watch this but I love watching two middle aged men talk about how much they hate it
One day this will be you
@@michaelp2952 and i can't wait for that day
@@michaelp2952 No need to remind me of my inescapable future
Just pretend every time they say 'starfleet' they mean 'space force', and every time they say 'Romulan' they mean 'chromulan', and every time they say 'borg' they mean 'korg'. Yeah, I'll have a pint of 'korg', please. Under these conditions it gets at least a 5/10 from me. Which is always better than Emerdale (-20000).
I've never seen any Star Trek at all, but I look forward to every review.
I think the Rich Evans here is NOTHING like the Rich Evans from the original show.
I get that the writers wanted a darker more gritty Rich Evans but it just doesn't suit the character. It doesn't help matters that they rendered him in cheap CG.
This deserves more love
Everyone is so nostalgic for supposedly "classic" Rich Evans, but this is a Rich Evans for a new generation! We couldn't just keep the old Rich Evans to appeal to middle aged manbabies, we need a Rich Evans more in tune with modern sensibilities.
This Rich Evans swears randomly takes drugs and gouges peoples eyes out, it's what reflects the current political climate and therefore transcends the original philosophy of Rich Evans.
Rich Evans is the key to all this....
He died of diabetes and AIDS, what were they supposed to do?
Rich yelling "Captain Picard isn't here, Mike!" has the same feeling of desperation as someone yelling at a widow that her husband died in that car wreck 10 years ago.
That is so ... painful. And so true.
"Where do you think we are?" - Zach Braff
God, I had the exact same thought!
omg the sads have filled me
"Do you remember the time when..."
Fun fact, rich Evans isnt a human. He's actually an angel sent to earth with the mission of helping Mike move on from Star Trek. As you can see he's having a hard time.
It's hard to fight love with love, even for angels.
An enemy stand Like It’s A Wonderful Life! With Mike as a grumpy, hard-drinking George, and Rich as Clarence with Diabeetus!
He's an angel from space!
@@frogsgottalent1106 what the hell are you on about
An enemy stand true story
My favorite RLM character arc is watching Mike slowly devolve into Mr. Plinkett. We're watching the origin story, folks.
Too real.
Soon he'll trap Rich Evans in his basement
You either die a Rich Evans or live long enough to become Mr. Plinkett.
All I have are AAAARHGG thoughts
T YES!!!
The fact that pop-up ads exist in the Trek-universe does more to depress and convince me that the positive future it once painted is truly dead.
Strider Leigh exactly!
There is no happiness and joy in Alex Kurtzman's heart. It's physically impossible for him to conceptualize an equal society because he's a fucking asshole.
Even if I agree, it ain't the first time we see those, in DS9 S4E24 there is a hilarous scene where Quark put some annoying pop up ads for his bar in DS9's main systems x)
Picard isn’t Star Trek don’t worry
@@redfog29 You're right, but the difference is the tone of the show surrounding it. In DS9 it was treated as a disgusting aberration that should be remedied. In Picard, it was treated as an ordinary experience that only the sheltered characters were unfamiliar with.
Both are played for laughs, but in DS9 the joke was how much of a greedy scoundrel Quark is for doing it. In Picard the joke is on the characters who are too innocent to be able to handle the invasion of privacy and personal space.
Finally, in DS9, it was explicitly something done by a hack into a secure system by a sometimes-criminal. In Picard, there was no indication that this was in any way a bypass of La Sirena's security but is instead unblockable and required no initiation by the recipient. That alone is a terrifying vision of the future.
Sadly, I doubt the writer(s) involved in this scene considered _any_ of this, and instead were wholly convinced it was an absolutely hilarious joke that will keep non-sci-fi fans engaged by being "relatable".
"The blonde android lady has a nice character arc which ends in a quiet peaceful life."
"The one from Star Trek?"
"No, Dragonball Z."
My teenage crush...
shout out to krilin, my man knows what's good
@Space Vatnik and got with 18
"Picard is going to be an in-depth, slower-paced character study on Picard where we completely ignore all of Picard’s character traits so we can have a scene where a ninja beheads a former Romulan senator who now is a helpless, scuzzy bandit in a no-humans bar."
The best description of the series.
I've seen worse shows
@@dizzydalek1627 I've also seen worse character-rapes
@@dizzydalek1627 As have I, but I don't recall a show which so effectively rips apart, stomps on and discards an established universe and characters.
"A HELPLESS scuzzy bandit."
@@SlartiMarvinbartfast True but why does it matter? The old shows still exist. Don't be afraid to have fun!
But on the positive side, Roddenberry should be spinning in his grave fast enough to be a sustainable source of electricity.
under-rated comment
A source of unlimited power!
Lol
Just clamp a couple cables on his nips and watch'em go
ba~dum tsk
On my green space cymbals
It felt like Mike was interrogating Rich the entire time while Rich was trying his best to convey to Mike the truth, which is of course that there are four lights.
😅😅😅
"That eyeball thing was graphic and weird"
*proceeds to show that clip 51 times*
It's both cruel and unusual.
I'm a filthy bitch who owns A Serbian Film and Martyrs on BluRay and the Criterion DVD of Salo, 120 Days of Sodom. So I can firmly be honest by saying... that fucking shit doesn't belong in Star Trek. They directly go into WHY that scene doesn't belong, explicitly afterwards. I think a couple of you missed that lol
@thematic if you don't like this, why are you watching it?
The best eye ripping out scene I've ever seen was in the Channel 4 series Utopia. It's an effectively done scene with tension, buildup, payoff etc. and it works because it fits with the theme of the show, and demonstrates the ruthlessness of the main antagonists of the series, who will rip out someone's eye and then [attempt to] kill them to establish that they don't have the information they're looking for.
Graphically ripping out Icheb's eye and then killing him doesn't work the way the same thing did in Utopia because it feels so out of place. It's a graphic detail that makes no sense in a series that also makes no sense, done for no reason at all.
@thematic oh your one of those guys
Rich: *exasperated* “we are the only people who care!”
The people: we care. We all care just as much as you.
Please don’t stop these reviews. It makes me feel sane to see these godawful episodes ripped apart. Ichep actor drama was interesting too.
100% agree
Its messed up that Star Wars fans have a one up over Trekkers due to a good, solid T.V series. What a wierd time to be a geek.
"Let them die" Kirk - Undiscovered Country
I choked on my toast a little when he said "Ok so lets move on to the next episode..."; I love these reviews but it's baking my noodle that we would miss all this if they hadn't made that God-awful Picard series (thankfully I ignored some stupid friends advice to watch it)...
@@fiddledotgoth Good call. I wish I could unwatch the first 3 episodes. Well, 3.5 episodes. I fast-forwarded through most of the last half of the 4th and couldn't bring myself to watch the 5th.
Star Trek: re: view may be the best show with Star Trek in the title in years.
Q on l I l
The best Star Trek show right now is the Orville but you already knew that... Oh, wait! I see what you did there... With STAR TREK in the title. Well played, well played!
Time for me to harp about Star Trek: Continues, which is literally the anti-Discovery, anti-Picard, and anti-nuTrek in every way
What do you mean "might"?
The Star Trek we've been waiting for!
Why do I get the feeling that Jay is as far away from this room as is physically possible?
You can hear him laughing in the end when Rich is leaving, so they still forced him to sit behind the camera listening to them talking about Star Trek and will continue to do so with their future re:Views. :)
@@Terkzorr I feel like that's almost worse. 😂
Jay was drinking the all time
He's literally right off camera
Jay's tied up in a chair just out of frame.
I'm enjoying watching Star Trek: Dementia.
It’s like watching a Star Trek: Logan Patrick Stewart.
"Mike rambles out of control while Rich is miserable."
Is it Thursday already?
Yes. And what a glorious Thursday it is!
Picard rambles out of control while the steadily diminishing audience is miserable.
Is it 2020 already?
Activated Complex an unmitigated disaster
I thought that was most days.
This doubles as the channel description.
"You don't understand our ingenuity, our self sufficiency" two seconds later "why didn't you do a better job helping us?" That's great writing right there.
Seriously, most fanfic writers are better than that.
Yeah I caught that
It's like "America shouldn't be playing world police" while at the same time when shit goes down "why isn't America doing something!"
Sadly, real people talk like that. They massively contradict themselves in their very next sentence and don't even realize it.
You might be right but building a narrative around that is retarded and makes no sense.
“Captain Picard isn’t here, Mike!” Is the funniest RLM moment of all time
And the saddest
timestamp?
edit: nvm, the escalation that leads up to it starts around 47:00 and the moment itself is 47:51
Thanks.
"Why did Picard start a fight?" You guys aren't stupid enough to figure it out: they're trying to deconstruct TNG's moral opposition to injustices by showing the stupidest version of it failing in their grimdark reimagining.
Ding ding ding. And "why is it the Federation's responsibility to save the Romulans?" the answer is because the Federation has the most power, therefore they are the only ones who can do anything because everyone is a pawn unless they are all-powerful. (And therefore nothing is your fault or your responsibility. Except if you're PICARD, THE BIG BAD STRAIGHT WHITE FEDERATION MAN WITH A VINEYARD.)
Yup. This is the JJ-verse. Dumb, blunt and obvious. Roddenberry's original idea was for a utopian universe, where problems like poverty, racism and sexism no longer existed and conflict only came from other races. While this was a good idea in general, he also didn't want conflict between the main characters, which leads to very boring characters that have no flaws or problems to overcome. Writers complained about the "Roddenberry Box" all through season 1 of TNG.
At the other extreme, we have the JJ-verse, where conflict comes from EVERYWHERE, including problems that shouldn't exist in a utopian universe, like poverty, racism and sexism. They turned Star Trek into dumb, violent action schlock.
@@KneelB4Bacon Thats part of what makes DS9 so good. They really tried hard to honor Roddenberry's vision while not being restricted to it and ultimately ended up putting said utopia to the test by focussing on the federation being in conflict with other races that totally are not following said paradigms. Including all the "real world issues" and moral dilemmas such an interaction would cause.
New Trek: Something went boom and thats why people are savages now.
Exactly, white people are expected to save others.
The next re:View of this show is gonna start with Rich tied to the chair.
And obvious signs around the eyes, that imply devices were used to keep his eyelids open.
I think the skin stretching machine from Insurrection could be modified to do the job.
Or suspended in mid-air, Obi-Wan style.
There... Are... Four... Lights!
rich and mike are masochists
"Seven of Nine's quest to find her humanity ends with her being a violent psychopath"
damn the roast is excellent
I'd say her quest was successful :P
Honestly, if Ryker met her, he would have screwed all that borg shit out of her!
Which is rubbish because her reaction wasn't that of a psychopath (who probably wouldn't have felt any emotion at all for the violent death of their adopted child), it was violent and came from a place of revenge (a very human trait) but not that of a psychopath.
Not that surprising, given that she’s a Voyager crew member.
@@capuchinseven True, true. But for decades, STAR TREK had a very enlightened message about violence and revenge - it was depicted in a way more sophisticated way and not like KILL BILL in space.
“Captain Picard isn’t here, Mike!!!” Really sums up the show nicely.
I wish we could have seen Mike's face when he first saw the "an unmitigated disaster" clip and an ocean of editing possibilities opened up before him
The next reView is just going to be Rich smothering Mike with a pillow, then breaking through a window and running into the distance
Are you comparing Rich to Barney Gumble? Either way yes, I think it may come to that.
@@inblackestnight9256 well I guess Rich definitely doesn't have that "mute native American" vibe so......yes
If it comes to that it will be far more comapssionate like "of mice and men" where rich compassionately says "tell me about the romulans, george" while mike stares off into the distance, just b4 rich mercifully puts a bullet in the back of his head.
"I used to think my life was a tragedy, but now I realize it's ENDLESS TRASH!" - Rich Evans.
GalvanInk - No, Jay has the Native American vibe. He’s got a little bit of Native American in him. But that’s only when he’s at the manhole.
Star Trek Picard is an extremely expensive way to make more re:View
In that case, we should praise it :D
I laughed for a good five minutes. Thanks man. =D
I've just stopped watching the show and am watching these as a total substitute
you get more information out of these than you do watching the show
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I want to get off Mr Kurtzman's Wild Ride
Didn't know DeSinc watched Star Trek! :D
I never watched the show and just started watching these...
To be fair regarding Picard and children....... After "The Inner Light" Picard did soften towards children quite a bit due to living through a life as a father and grandfather.
That and his family dying probably made him look for people to shape into a foster family.
I agree I don't think him liking children is a problem. My problem is that I find it very jarring that out of no where and with no explanation he just loves this random kid with no real explanation that he does, then in the same scene he leaves the child for atleast 14 years. I just didn't really get the point of the scene. Why not just have him be normal Picard, what is the need for 1 random scene of him without a kid
And in the episode "Disaster", Picard bonded with those three children who worked with him to help escape the turbolift.
I mean he had a whole movie where he wanted a huge family
Exactly my thoughts when they discussed that.
who else watches ever single star trek vid without having seen STD OR Picard
I love that the abbreviation is STD, a fitting name
Yup! Right here. I will never recognize this recent garbage as canon. I just like to watch Mike and Rich rip it into pieces.
i have no interest to watch em, but its interesting to see how far the franchise has strayed from what it once was
Same here. I’ve been enjoying watching Mike and Rich’s dissections of the shitty new Kurtzman Treks.
@@pisscvre69 It never even occurred to me that it was STD. Now STD is with me forever, like it or not. Even long after STD is gone, the damage it did is irreparable.
"Will anybody talk to me about Star Trek: Picard?"
Here we observe the wild Mike in his natural habitat, letting loose his mating call while sitting alone in the dark.
27:17 really sums it up
"Oh, Rich... let me tell you about a man named Alex Kurtzman..."
The beat scene of graphic violence I think Star Trek ever did revolved around Nog losing his leg. It’s bitter, tumultuous and tragic, but slowly he regains his station and confidence and recovers. It was handled in a very Star Trek manner. A realistic look at how someone even in a distant fantastical future like Star Trek may suffer and be slowed down by such an event, but ultimately can come back from it.
It's only a paper moon is my favourite DS9 episode. This nuTrek writers can never write something like that
It's only a paper moon is excelent and hard to watch at the same time. The late Aron Eisenberg sold that so well at the end, it's heartbreaking and makes an already great character even more memorable...
If you had told me during season 3 of DS9 that by season 7 a hologram of a 1950s Vegas lounge singer was going to become a major character I wouldn't have believed you. I would also be certain that if it *did* happened I'd absolutely hate it. Somehow it happened and it worked really well, especially in episodes like "It's Only a Paper Moon".
@@BiggieTrismegistus That's the overall magic behind DS9's writing and the execution, they took all the parts that should be bad on paper, a stationary place, the Cardassians and the Ferengi as one of the main species instead of "cool" ones like Klingons, Borg and Romulans and so on, even the focus on war as a huge junk of the series isn't something I would want to watch, in Star Trek even less so, but they executed everything so well, it's like they set themself this as a challenge and succeded.
This show is aging Mike another 10 years in 1 season
Is that Mike's superpower? Is it like Teletpathic Communication with Animals?
Bad news especially since he’s apparently wearing a Logan’s Run sweatshirt.
Nameless Jedi Mike would've been dead years ago in the Logans Run universe.
More like 30
@@SHISHINOBI-LEO pain and misery are the only things he can still feel
The progression of these thumbnails is amazing.
Episodes 6 and 7: Their heads and shoulders are lasers
Season 1 Post-Mortem: White space with soft red outline
cant wait for the thumbnail of review of the last episode of star trek picard
The slow erosion of choosing to look inside the Ark of the Covenant.
@@juice6521 Full red thumbnail!!
So powerful
Rich Evans: “nunchunk.”
The "Romulans Only" sign reminds me of those hand-written "No Boys Allowed" signs pre-teen girls put on their bedroom doors in sitcoms.
Also it was nice for the Romulans to write that sign in Earth English so that a visiting Andorian or Betazoid would also know to stay out... or does the 25th century Universal Translator project translated images into the mind like a TARDIS?
20:33
@@sorryifoldcomment8596 To be fair, I have caught things like that on quality Star Trek, but finding a bad thing in quality Star Trek is like finding a good thing in kurtzman trek.
I agree. Kurtzman is incapable of doing deep, social commentary. Everything in the JJ-verse is dumb, blunt and obvious.
TARDIS? More like RE-TARDIS. Ha!
I know this comment is old but bringing up the TARDIS only reminded me of how Doctor Who's Series 11 and 12 has fallen itself in some ways similar to Discovery and Picard as well. It'd be interesting if RLM would ever visit that franchise to watch but that would take a long time to cover given there's the classics and NuWho.
"This is what grief looks like."
Man, this is hard to watch.
Just can't look away.
I expected Rich to plead for people to donate to their Kickstarter, so they can afford the operation that will expunge all of the Star Trek knowledge from Mike's brain.
"He said it would be such a relief."
The Caretaker will come back and produce an album about this show.
yes ☹
Next on CBS , Star Trek : Riker , Star Trek : Deanna Troy ... Star Trek : that random guy in red shirt , in original series .
Very cool
"I expected Seven of Nine to work at the Daystrom Institute, you know using her intellect."
*Laughter* " Oh Rich"
"She is a vigilante warrior now, in space"
“Let me tell you bouta a guy named Alex kurtsman”
I think, honest to God, Patrick Stewart REALLY wanted to do a violent space dramedy with Tarantino, who originally expressed interest in directing his own... version of a Star Trek film, and when it didn't turn out CBS pitched Stewart on a "Darker, more violent Star Trek" and he went for it because the man is old, bored, and just wants to have fun.
Problem is... Alex Kurtzman is NOT Quentin Tarantino.
And while a Tarantino style Star Trek film would still be a tonal opposite of the Star Trek universe's morals and values, it would still at least have the intelligence to be self-aware.
Alex Kurtzman writes a super violent and dark Star Trek alright, but it is NOT self aware of its conflicting themes and writing... worse yet, it actually takes itself seriously.
I could see that
The problem with the current versions of Star Trek is that anybody with even a modicum of intelligence is constantly asking "WTF?"
It's like watching that stupid Prometheus film. It was gorgeous, well directed... and written by Damon Lindelhof. That film was so bad that any film I consider seeing I first check to see if Lindelhof is even CONNECTED with the film - if he is, I'm out.
We have a plague of terrible writers in Hollyweird, and he's one of the worst. He cannot make a coherent logical storyline. I'm sick of bad writers. All this money is dumped into directors, good actors, and sets, and amazing special effects, and they get the biggest morons to write the stupidest of scripts and they end up making a terrible experience, over, and over, and over again.
Why is it so impossible to get writers that are competent?
Why not just go with 'clone of pickard ends up transported to 'Prime universe' so he can be part of the Discovery and JJ lenseflare-verse.
That's the saddest part about all this. I could see this, written by Tarrantino, being *PHENOMENAL* . Because he'd pull off some weird, wacky shit, giving little hints that *this isn't the mainline universe* until just flat-out demonstrating it at the end.
Or something like that. *Anything* but this anti Star Trek *garbage* that we got. And I say this as someone who isn't even that big a Star Trek fan.
@@RaptorJesus Oh and then do a cut to show what Picard in the main universe was doing! Perhaps he was sitting peacefully enjoying an afternoon at the rebuild vinyard estate? Or perhaps he saved many a Romulan and is a revered person, having died a few years after from the totalled up stress on his body? Like with how the Enterprise C was the lynchpin for peace with the Klingons, Picard's actions and his well-known captainhood of the Enterprise D.... it'd make a nice symmetry to it all. The Enterprise being an almost fated vessel to achieve great things.
"Synths"... "synths" everywhere.
I believe the director misheard "android"...
Next thing we know they'll start calling Data a "robot"
Well Klutzman ripped off most of the plot from Mass Effect probably thinking they were mostly the same thing having never seen an episode of real Star Trek in his life
Everytime they say Soji I keep thinking "Tabuchi"
In Japanese, (soji) 双児 means "twins".
Oh wow that is sooo clever, because she has an identical twin sister, get it? What will be the big bad guys name, Richard Tator?
It’s the Shoji Tabuchi Show!!!!
His NASA violin would be a good prop in a Star Trek show.
@@KasumiKenshirou Got anything for Daaahjjj?
The title of Mike's biography, "Will anyone talk to me about Star Trek?"
Subtitle: "This is Subway, sir. What kind of cheese did you want?"
I'd love to talk to Mike about Star Trek.
"Nobody wants Muppets. People want decapitations and eyeballs ripping out."
Mike should watch the Dark Crystal series.
Drugs in Star Trek, that’s how far we’ve fallen.
You wanna buy some death sticks?
Go home and rethink your life.
As Mike sat in the dark studio, he realised Rich Evans had been dead for 54 years. So who had he been talking to about Star trek picard?
👏👏👏
yellowpete79 jay. Hes been Talking to jay
Have you seen the episode of BOTW with the canadians where it shows mike has been talking to himself this whole time?
i want a cut of this review where Rich is removed, so it's just Mike talking to nothing
Just an echo of a lost soul
every re:View episode goes like this now
Mike: Why?
Rich: Stop thinking.
Who was that “Romulans Only” sign for? Wasn’t it at a Romulan Refugee colony with only Romulans? Someone in the writers room probably got some high-fives for that and no one thought it through
“I know writers who use subtext and they’re all cowards!” - Garth Marenghi
Picard is one of the stupidest shows I've ever seen. It's also downright hateful of Star Trek, its fans, everyone who worked on the franchise prior to 2009, common sense and decency. Discovery is the same way.
Spock travelled back in time into the Star Trek 2009 movie, that’s why he’s not around.
HappynessIsMandatory To be honest, his is the better fate
Technically spock was still around roughly up until romulus was destroyed. The way I interpreted it is that the Federation quashed Picard's evacuation plan, forcing Spock, who at that point no longer had a starfleet commission, to use the last ditch red matter plan.
It honestly might be the only thing in S1 that is actually consistent with older star trek media.
Mike and Rich trying to convince themselves that "I'M not the one with dementia, HE'S the one with dementia!"
Well since neither of them can remember even the simplest of names and places, they definitely both have it. Mike can't even remember anything although he has made NOTES.
Malarkey!
Mike seemed like an old confused grampa in the video, which is saddening. He clearly failed his sanity check while watching the new episodes.
Oi
"The Borg cube will have a cockpit"
Oh my god that's so stupid, they'll do it for sure.
isodoublet I thought they already had borgs driving a Borg cube on voyager.
@@thunderfeet They did?
Will there be a joystick?
@@wocket42 There will be a wheel and a gear switch
@@wocket42 You mean, the "Manual Steering Column"? :D
My favorite part of all these re:Views on Star Trek: Picard have these horrorable predictions for what would happen and yet, their predictions are all better than what actually happens.
Anyone else notice the Romulan senator sounded exactly like Forest Whitaker's character in Battlefield Earth? Definitely an iconic performance worthy of replication
DAT'S DERE FAVORITE FOOD!
"Captain Picard isn't here, Mike." Priceless.
That delivery had similar energy to “he’s dead, Jim”...
Not even watched the video yet and I can hear and see Rich saying it.
No he isnt, the picard here, is a soy drinking feminist ally who let's every female in his life talk down to him and order him about and just takes it because he doesn't want to be a toxic male unlike the determined,capable and strong willed captain he used to be that wanted people to adhere to rank
@@luckyspurs The despair occurs at 47:52 for anyone wondering.
@@scottwallace5239 What the...are you real? Did you actually read what you wrote?
I legit can't tell the difference between when Mike is intentionally babbling inanely and when he's actually recapping the story.
Wait there's a story?
30 years from present:
"Poor Mr. Stoklasa's dementia has been bad lately. We are going to have to up his meds, he is getting very agitated talking about that Pickard person and President Culkin."
How bad do I want President Macauley Culkin and First Lady London Tipton.
"And now he thinks that his name is Mr. Plinkett."
It is abundantly clear what the goal of these videos is. Mike is forcing Rich to do them, and then throughout the video he proceeds to bait Rich and try to get him to go into a classic Rich Evans rant. At 12:28 you can see the smirk on Mike's face as his plan comes to fruition.
How Ironic... I keep watching these Re:Views and I don’t even watch the series. I guess this is more entertainment than the Picard series.
Same
If you like star trek then Picard is sodding awful. I watch it because I haven’t quite given up on the star trek franchise but get no enjoyment out of it. But these reviews are far more entertaining
The katharsis feels a litte more earned after suffering through those episodes ...
... but maaaan have 4 and 5 been shite.
Same, I have watched exactly one episode of Star Trek in my life and still love to watch these old fucks mourn.
The reviews have better character development than the show.
Generally, when Mike has to struggle to remember the details of a Star Trek episode... that's a bad sign.
Freebase?
@@zizoumonk10 Freestyle?
:-) Generally...? Hee hee.
I'm pretty sure that in this case it's the shitty plot and not the dementia. But it can't be helping the dementia.
The Synths in Picard seem like the writers played Fallout 4 and just took the Synths from that.
Todd Howard strikes again.
There's a settlement that needs your help
TNG Picard, movie Picard and this Picard are 3 different characters.
It's like they used that "Patrick Stewart Safe House Pest Control" video as a character reference, with none the wiser...
Mike's inconsolable grief reminds me of those nature documentaries where the elephant mom can't believe her calf is dead, and keeps nudging it hoping it'll spring back to life.
That almost made me cry
At this point the mother Elephant is gently nudging a pile of sun bleached bones.
these star trek reviews are like reverse BOTW. in botw mike just dunks on rich the whole episode. but in review its like rich exasperatedly trying to keep his senile grandpa from choking to death on applesauce while rambling about fragging his commanding officer in vietnam
megapixzel Breath of the Wild is what I kept reading at first.
@@Mr.Ian_20XX Same! Link rides in on his DLC motorcycle.
It really does show where their heads are. Jean-Luc (the character) is French. So the show writers have him dress up in costume and do an accent...as a Frenchman with a horrible French accent. Job done guys!
Also, I believe it’s Star Trek canon that France was taken over by Britain in WW3 (hence why Picard and his family have English accents), so French has been a dead language/accent for generations.
@@chrissullivan6403 This is also canon in Futurama and The Outer Worlds.
That's actually Patrick Stewards best attempt at a French accent, he did the same thing when auditioning for TNG and they made him keep the British accent because the French one was so damn bad.
"This is what grief looks like."
They captured the spirit of Next Gen perfectly. I always loved when Picard would fly off the handle Or when they would throw diplomacy out the window and start chopping off heads.
Your exactly right, do they do any research on the character they are writing?
@@2OldGeeksTalking all forms of franchise entertainment are now empty vessels into which freshman Hollywood can pour it's virtue signaling identity politics.
Even Sesame Street.
@@2OldGeeksTalking I am pretty sure these writers never watched a single episode of TNG. Just like the writers of the latest Star Wars trilogy apparently never watched Star Wars.
It was Elnor who cut the guys head off and Picard flipped and scolded him for taking a life.
@@Plur307 the maybe even bigger problem: They might have watched it but then ignorantly decide to throw almost everyting out the window although they should know that they will piss off millions of fans.
I can't wait to see if Vozsh-Ozh gets back from the Shosh Obozh mission on the Dojzh Clo-Shosh planet.
Took the words right out of my mouth
Feels like they use a random name generator for the names and a random plot generator for the rest.
Can't wait to see if Rich ever learns any of the actual names lel
Relax there, Sean Connery. It's nothing to fosh abozh.
"Is Q going to become Data's cat?"
honestly, that sounds like a Q thing to do...
Rich don't listen to him! Keep talking about Farscape!!
Rich needs to make Mike watch Farscape.
"Will Q be Data's Cat ?!" Kurtzman (taking notes): "Brilliant, brilliant stuff ..."
I wonder what Q would think of humanity in PICARD's timeline now?
"We've all been the scarecrow" becomes "we've all been Data's cat."
Kurtzman would like that. He likes ideas he can steal from other work. He'll be thinking it's like the cat from Captain Marvel.
I wonder if he's trying to get Mads for his Clarice show.
When Mike and Rich can’t figure out what the hell is going on in Star Trek, you know you got problems.
I don't really have much love for Picard as a show but I can't believe anyone has any trouble understanding it. It is a pretty easy show to follow even if it isn't terribly well made.
Women
He's trying to figure out why the two are connected... best I can think? The writers are trying to say that Mars was building ships to help with the relocation. But when it goes tits up, they no longer have the ships to spare.
Mike is saying this is fucking retarded. He can't fathom the leap in logic here. You wouldn't build ships specifically for this, you'd just reassign existing ships. And since its a temporary assignment, you really wouldn't bother creating more ships to replace the ones temporarily helping Romulans.
So why the hell would these two events be connected? Unless the writers are stupid, and assume we are too.
@@startrekmike
Indeed.
This might be my favourite piece of RLM...and I have seen alot. "This is what grief looks like." Rich's best line and he is the one that uttered "A-T-S-T...A-T-S-T!!!
@BK Beatty not sure I remember! 😂
Rich breaking down, trying to get through to mike is the best thing I’ve ever seen😂
"I need a romulan ninja assassin killer"
"Dammit ninja assassin killer, you can't kill people"
Wat
"I need an assassin, but like, not the kind that kills people"
@@tzengtm
Not without orders you could say.
"She should be working at the Daystrom institute, using her intellect"
"Let me tell you about a man named Alex Kurtzman"
I love how literally just QUOTES from this review gets more upvotes than actual discussion.
All you said was two quotes lmao
@@puipui2949 Hey man, I just made the comment because I thought the quotes were hilarious (I greatly dislike Alex Kurtzman's style of storytelling). I can't really help if people give my comments likes.
Burrito
@@puipui2949 Did that feel good ? I bet you looked real smug after you pressed enter on this high-IQ observation. It's called 'The Comment section', not 'The discussion Forum'.
@@HauntedXXXPancake OK. I'll comment at your ABSOLUTE BUTTHURT at my comment. Stay mad.
Wanna start a discussion about it?
I'd have been very happy if they had made Picard simply about Picard. Living out his final days on Earth on his vineyard, feeling dejected and lonely as the sole remaining Picard, when a young cadet seeks him out and visits him when he has time off from his studies at the academy. A slow burning, contemplative series about learning the intricacies of an individual, the steady growth of friendship and the lessons of the past. A little pinch of bittersweet melancholy can be present but the Federation optimism should remain intact.
If Bruce Maddox was such a genius, how come he couldn't make one of the androids with a normal-sized chin?
checkmate atheist.
I want to hear them say, "I'd rather watch an entire Star Trek movie built around them saving a whale," then realize the writers used to be so good, they actually did that and it was damn fun.
dbsommers1 “Dialysis? My god. What is this? The dark ages.” - Bones, ST IV
Spock, spocking out the punk rocker is my favorite part. But there are so many great scenes that it WAS fun!
Across the bay? In alameda? But where is alameda?
Nuclear wessals
613-Shadow ....double dumb ass on you
I love how normally in the background there is a picture of the movie or show they are talking about and now it's just a burning trashcan... 😂😂😂
A literal dumpster fire!
I wondered if there was always a trash fire there for a second...and then I realized
It's the closest Simile to Star Trek: Picard.
STD was definitely the dumpster fire. Picard is the burnt-out wreckage from that fire raining down on the head of a confused and borderline-senile Patrick Stewart while he dramatically reads excerpts from "50 Shades of Grey".
"We romulans are are a people of ingenuity, resolve and self-sufficiency" If they are so proud about self-sufficiency, why do they demand the help of the federation? That's the opposite of self-sufficiency and ingenuity. If they have so much resolve, why does their place look like everyone there has given up?
I would argue that Picard got over his dislike of children during the events of The Next Generation. Between his relationship with Wesley, and his experiences in the "Captain Picard Day" episode, I go the impression that he had softened on kids even as far back as then. Even as Rich and Mike point out, by the end of the series he joins in on the Poker game, he has been shown across the seven seasons of the show to be less of a curmudgeon and a hard ass than he was at the start.
Plot twist: all of this is just Q punking Picard in his old age.
he never got out of that goddamned court room!
Q is gonna be so disappointed after finding that Picard and the Federation backslid into narcissistic meta shit that's being tacked on by 21st century producers.
That's not a plot twist, that's just a retread of All Good Things.
Better yet, Picard is in a coma and Q is keeping him entertained with this world.
@@TheTurnipKing That's why they'll do it.
These make the existence of Star Trek: Picard almost worth it.
Almost.
It's a shame Rich has lost all patience for star trek nitpicking, since that is the highest intellectual pursuit for all of us old star trek fans. Rich, if you're reading this: get your act together, nitpicking microscopic details in sci fi is what we're here for, and the only reason why we're not hanging ourselves in disgust at the collapse of all we hold dear! Damn it, man :D
These reviews are the only reason I'm watching the show
@@ScratchNSniffff For what it's worth, these RLM videos are just as good even if you haven't seen the actual show. I'm laughing my ass off while they explain this nonsense, without the pain of experiencing the ruination of Star Trek and Jean-Luc Picard. (A.K.A. "The Kurtsmanning")
I kind of can't bring myself to watch them all at once because I can't get past the way Picard makes such a mockery of Strar Trek
I like when Picard starts the fight. Reminded me of the episode when he talked about how he almost died in a fight and has a fake heart now. You’d think someone who almost died in a fight would not pick fights at bars
Oh, you mean the episode where he spent the entire time trying to avoid the fight, realizing it was part of what made him who he was, and embraced his more daring side after seeing the unfulfilled life that avoiding conflict would lead him to? Yeah that's a great episode to bring up here. You should watch it.
C'mon, that was the whole point. I don't like Picard either but now you're starting to misrepresent TNG to criticize it, and that is not even remotely necessary here. It crashed and burned all on its own.
@@DeadBlockLocke I think that's a superficial way of looking at this, the point of that event was that the Picard who had a brush with death was able to take command of the USS Star-Gazer (meaning that he was brave enough to take on responsibility). In Picard he randomly starts a fight due to emotional reasons.
"...but this isn't Star Trek" added to every point discussed in this video. Pretty effective therapy
"I totally expected her to be working at the Daystrom institute, you know using her intellect."
"Oh Rich, hahahaha, let me tell you about a man named Alex Kurtzman" 😂😂😂😂
"Hey remember Icheb?"
Yeah that naive, yet plucky, kid who looks up to seven like a sister. What's he up to?
"We wrote him getting harvested for parts. ENJOY YOUR NEW *STAR* *TREK* SHOW"
The world.... is changing
@@adamfrisk956 Oh the times they are a-changin.
Star Trek is literally snuff film now
It was pretty horrific and would never have flown if it weren't a subscription service, but to be fair that is what people seem to enjoy these days. To understand why they did it, just look at the popularity of Game of Thrones and such. People seem to get off on it. As far as in universe, they had to convey how truly horrible this was. If it was as glossed over as torture in TNG or others of it's era, no one would even blink. They would just say, oh that kid from voyager died. Wait why is Seven crazy now?
?
"We wrote him getting harvested for parts, because THE ACTOR said something on twitter we didn't like."
I remember when Star Trek had a hopeful view of the future, inspiring kids and providing a bit of escapism when the real world was so depressing and sad. Thanks Alex Kurtsman & Co for robbing my kids of that so you could chop off heads & shit.
I personally can't wait for their next show... Star Trek annihilation or some shit, where kurtsman just films a puddle of cold jizz for 10 hours.
Oh he's trying like hell to get his Section 31 show green lit. Who knows what horrors he will unleash with that travesty.
I like the dumpster fire poster.
Do episode 6+7, if only to torture Rich more.
"Captain Picard isn't here Mike."
And Im kinda sad now.
Watching the first 3 episodes or so, I thought maybe Patrick Stewart has forgotten how to act him by playing a B-role on American Dad for too long.
@@thegraymansnocturneshow9446 Well, he did signed up for the Emojo movie.
Whelp, they finally broke Mike's brain. He's actually becoming plinkett.
Plinkett is more coherent at this point.
Sad truth
The stupid is contagious! D:
Plinkett is not a man, Plinkett is a state of mind.
Two years later....tentacles coming from fingers? TENTACLES COMING FROM FINGERS?! Oh god, you predicted it!
Now Showing: "A Dumpster Fire". Christ, I love these guys. 😂
I keep telling myself "how much further worse can it get"
and Kurtzman has yet to disappoint
"No Soji, resistance is NOT futile!"
that needs to be a line.
soji tibuchi?
oh my god they're gonna do it
Have they done "existence is futile" yet, because I can see that being done before a space genocide?
Very boring these two new star trek, before there was a new story each episodes now it is just filling between ep 1 and final ep of the season.
Picard: "Disengage."
This was uploaded on the five year anniversary of Leonard Nimoy's death, and honestly, I can't think of anything more fitting.
I always liked how the “Romulans Only” sign is written in English
When Mike has pages of Star Trek critiques stapled together you know you're in for a good time
When it cut back to Mike I thought he had taken out a chart or graph or something.. like there's enough to talk about to require visual aid but it's still all so dull.
"How did we get here?"
Mike took the very first opportunity he saw to steer the boat directly into the biggest iceberg.
Shoji will be revealed to be a descent from an old forgotten Earth legend about a genius artist only known as “Tabuchi.”
44:55 to 50:00 feels like an intervention for a dementia patient. When Rich sits there and just blurts out “Captain Picard isn’t here, Mike”, it’s like something out of a Twilight Zone episode where Mike thinks he’s IN Star Trek.