Ali Siddiq’s White Neighbors Keep Falling Off Their Roofs - Stand-Up Featuring
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- čas přidán 13. 05. 2019
- Ali Siddiq describes the epidemic of his white neighbors falling off their roofs and explains why he thinks a U.S.-Mexico border wall is a terrible idea. (Contains strong language.)
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"I like how white boys get they friends drunk in the most random places"
*camera turns to white boy nodding in agreement*
I get so sick of non white men using the term white boy. I am grown ass man, you want someone calling you fucking boy?
@@shawnmacdonald9722 boo fucking hoo. You're life is so hard, isnt it?
@@shawnmacdonald9722 Lol. Stings a little huh.
@@shawnmacdonald9722 "I'm not Barnacle Boy. I'm Barnacle *MAN!*
I guess if we are playing that game, we can call black men boys to, oh don't worry, it's a term of endearment. We are going by eye for eye rules, if you don't like it back, then don't fucking say it.
Mexican got on boots
Bud Green shit I gotta go find cici
😂😂
I remember that skit. TOO FUNNY!!!😅😅😅
XD, Mexicans do got on boots.
You gotta get u a knife! 🤣
When he said “You got the wrong shoes on” he should’ve said “Everyone knows Mexican got on boots”😭
Someone got Edit that in there 😂🤣
DIY BROOOo that’s genius😂
Different show tho no comedian uses jokes from other shows bc ppl might not understand
Ali Alabbasi yeah, i was thinking the same thing but at the same time it’s a funny ass statement so even the confused would laugh
FRL HAHAHAHSSI
“I sold drugs, I never used to pay taxes, that was yall money to do with it as you wished” 😭😭😭😂
☠☠☠😂😂😭😭🤣🤣😂😂😭☠😂😂
“My grand momma house is RIGHT THERE! My baby pictures are still in there!” 😭😭😭😭😭
Yo he sounds like Thrax from Omosis Jones
Historically it is the truth.Mexican families in the southwest.Who have been living there for generations.Did not cross the border.The border crossed over them.
@@stevengreen9536 not really, there was a working program between Mexico and the US called Braceros which brought huge numbers of Mexicans to work on US fields. There was a huge surge of migration in the 80s. Even before that people migrated across the border looking for jobs.
@@cuac5869 While i have not heard about this Braceros program.The incident in question i was referring too was the Mexican-American War.Before that conflict what is now the southwest states of the U.S.Where originally part of northern Mexico.After the war the mexican families had the option to stay or go back across the border into Mexico.Many did return to Mexico.A portion of the population stayed.Which made them and their descendants citizens by default.
prescription in windshield......that's the most creative idea I've heard in awhile
No lie bro he's really onto something there
Your prescription changes periodically, thus requiring reinstallation of the windshield every few months. Cool idea but not really logical with current technology
@@handoverthejewgoldkyle3321 correction not a few months eye exam are required once a year maybe two depends on situation however small percentage eye vision change unless one is having serious ophthalmic issues. But I get your point however still not a bad ideal 😊
@@m.magdalenedieujusternfutu3309 Until you realize you would have to hold your head perfectly still while driving every prescription is made for a specific vertical distance .Plus every person is forced to look through them (it's like have a pair of glasses just like yours then forcing everyone to put them on or walk) and it only works straight ahead what about when you need to check traffic on the side or back into a parking space? The windshield would cost as much as laser eye surgery And when you get out the vehicle....you'll still put glasses on (hannibal buress face)
@@sikwitit773 all of that, and just the cost alone I feel like would be tremendous, some tiny ass glasses are expensive enough for most people, imagine trying to get an entire windshield made that way...
Someone once said "Comedy is just common sense, dancing." This guy embodies that.
@@dinosauro9546 same comment, multiple videos. Trying to get a negative reaction and I found it just as funny as the comedy that no one bit 😂 behaviour is so sad 😂😭
Sounds like George Carlin.
“they already got a tunnel!” deserved a bigger laugh 😆
This could almost be a TED talk about "Observations of a Black Man living in a White gated community".
Great sit down comedy!
TheConspiracy Realist then create a sequel TED Talk “observations of a white male living in da Hood” it’ll be a survival episode.
@@nexvibes3549 I've already lived thru that. Don't want to repeat the past. It cost me everything I owned and had collected over a lifetime of 53 years, plus because I was a white whistleblower on a black run low income housing property with corrupt property management in collusion with the corrupt black president of the board of directors I was the target and victim of a wrongful eviction that cost me my home of 42 years (1970 - 2012).
I was forced from my home that I had raised children in, and that was my home as a teenager in 1970, and this forced me to live in a van the last 7 years.
I know from the wrong end what it is to be the victim of a retaliation eviction by the power structure of a corrupt black run complex in San Francisco.
And because I don't have the money to pay for the right resources to get back what was wrongfully taken from me I will probably remain homeless and die in the situation I have been forced to live in these last 7 years....
But what can I do? Since I am white there are no resources to get to fight for my rights. And no one will even listen or go thru the paper documented proof of how I ended up here.
But I think my glass is half full anyway, I just haven't figured out where they put it yet. Have to stay positive. At least I have my DIY van, and don't have to stay on the street with no roof over my head.
@@SuperAdam2468 I agree!
@@nexvibes3549 Well that's just you being insecure, bruh
This is just being a first generation person living in a white surburb. My mom would ponders things like these and she was actually serious when she asked.
"Near-sighted car" is the most wholesome joke I've heard in a long time. Love my Texas comedians!
Brian Regan did it first waaay back. He is such a wholesome comedian
What about mr magoo?
has me dying
+
Wholesome? It was about car theft
"white boy in a fountain." holy shit at least twice has that happened to me.
You should change your name to Charles; has a nice ring to it.
White people know how to have a good fucking time
@@jennas9033 no you dont nigga. I got white friends who fake kidnapped me on Halloween when we was in college
@@iamergoproxy3476 bro wtf I’d be so scarred mentally from that jeez that’s not something you prank someone with outta nowhere
@@Nazo422 To be perfectly honest...I've witnessed my father die to gun violence, my grandmother almost drop dead in the middle of the street and my mother die to a heart attack. There is nothing this world can do to me...I'm already broken
"I know the sound" of my neighbors falling off the roof. 🤣🤣
Get this man a special he is very funny
He has some but he needs worldwide acclaim
He need a Netflix special.
I almost didn't like this comment Bc it had 69
Good news for you - we already did that! Check out Ali’s hourlong special, “It’s Bigger Than These Bars,” right here: on.cc.com/2HoJO78. You don’t even have to log in to anything!
Zach Gray he already had one
As a 5th generation Texan, let me just say "My Grandmamma's house is RIGHT THERE!!!" is one of the funniest lines (points) I've ever heard 🙌🏼
I thought it was funny but for different reasons. See here's the thing, the Mexicans invited Americans down there under sort of a compact. One of the terms of the compact was that they'd get the Commanche, Carankawa and whatever other indian tribes down there under control that were making it next to impossible for Mexicans to settle the rest of the area. So my question is what genius thought that they were going to get the settlers to give up their guns, drag their feet on acknowledging their property rights and then think they were going to roll over a group of people that took care of a problem that Mexicans were either incapable or unwilling to take care of?
Elmos Pasco what a great example of the sense of entitlement coming from your comment. just because someone asks for help doesn't mean that now you have sudden control over that person. you help out and stick to what was agreed upon in the compact. lord knows americans nowadays don't know the meaning of keeping their word or being equitable
Elmos Pasco dude 🤦♂️, so basically them killing all the native Americans also gave them the right to stab the Mexican in the back after “helping them”? Cool that makes fucking sense. You’re a dumbass.
Texicans got on boots
@TurnipsAge are you trying to use common sense in the internet?? Get yo ass out of here 🤣🤣🤣
2:13 😂 judging by the pain in his face ... that guy in the back in black was the friend in the fountain at one time : my opinion 🤦🏿♂️
Aaaand BINGO Was His Name-O...!
Just his demeanor has me dying. I've never seen a comedian speak so slowly, and be so funny.
“This must be a near sighted car” I CANT😂😂😂😂
This man deserves a successful career, he’s hilarious and humble. Wish Nothing but the best for him 💯
Amen
FACTS
am i only one that noticed the fact that he jus got a tattoo bc of the ointment on his wrist where the heart is
It's cling film (saran wrap).
Nope.
DaBoi I just saw your comment... I said the same thing wondering why his arm looked plastic.🤣
@@isadon Why do you think its a cover up?
nope, i was wondering what that was and then i saw it wasn't around his entire wrist. looks like he got a heart.
"Ted I know you voted for that wall, might want to ask them Mexicans something before they leave man".
Prescription windshields...
Modern problems require modern solutions
Lord V123 they would cost so much 😞😞😞😞😞
mo analyssa: But your car would be safe! He's got a point!
@@gerritelenbaas4817 I posted this 4 days ago and no one else has this joke so just calm yourself and even if I did what's it to you we are just here for laughs
Thats a great ideal tho
What about the sun factor🤔
HEY NETFLIX!!🗣We're waiting........
He needs it RN
Ok! He has over 330,000 views already in just a day! That shows you how much we love listening to is comedy!
All these other crappy comedians I ain’t never heard before. He should’ve been on Netflix
Facts
The look back while saying "I dont think I'm high enough to get over this wall" had me dying 🤣
You need poise, confidence and sheer talent to be able to sit down and tell jokes and keep the audience engaged. Everyone can't pull it off.
This is on of the first times i've seen comedy in a chair and I'm loving it.
Bill Cosby was awesome with it
It’s a sit-down comedy.
@@ivynjoki 😂
Lenny Bruce would sit on a stool sometimes.
I've seen Mooney do his whole set from the chair. Never moving.
I've been waiting for a new video from him, this man needs to do an hour long special or something!!
Listen to his albums
He is hilarious
I know right I was just thinking that, I wish he had a podcast as well
Totally, these clips got me weak 🤣
czcams.com/video/EsKDNZQhVX0/video.html he did
The first 20 seconds is captivating enough. He’s totally a story teller and meant for this 🤣.
Listen!!!!😹😹😹🔥 and he did not flinch
Ali the truth wish he had more work out
"Put your perscriptions in your windshield"
Thats the most stupid sounding genius idea i have ever heard. He needs to get that idea patterned XD
You should get your use of the word patterned patented!!!lol
Patented * lol
"This must be a nearsighted car".
Mr magoo did this shyt
How you do "STAND UP" while sitting down?😂😂😂
BigKidd Zuwop hahahahahha
Ehhh don’t question it
Paul Mooney
Ha! I say stuff like that all the time! "I (sit) corrected."
-Azariah/SuburbaKnight
PSALMS 20:1, 6-8; ISAIAH 43; ISAIAH 38:15-20; JOHN 14:11-21
Like this
I discovered Ali during the worst time of my life. Since then, everything has gotten better. Coincidence? I think not.
That's awesome comedy was able to help you out in a bad time of your life man, keep it climbing! 🏋️
god bless you
Live long and prosper, y’all.
2:13 dude nodding like "yeah, I do get drunk and leave my friends places"
I bet the banter between him and his neighbors is hysterical
oh ffs...i just fell of my roof last weekend cleaning the skylights and checking for leaks, he got the sound down PERFECT
Oh my gosh! You're okay, right?
@@nrsimmons178 luckily the distance from the eaves to the ground is less than 7ft so yeah just a few bruises, sadly that wasnt the first time ive fallen off so now i know to get as flat as possible when falling so the surface area slows you down before you free fall lol
@@OldBuford Good Lord, man! Glad you're okay, though! ♡
I've watched my friend's dad embarrass him before and also fall off of a roof ...these are all accurate .....he did forget the "ugh you son of a bitch/cocksucker" after the intially fall
whoa son
Best sit-down comedian around
5:39 he's not no more
Luis Oropeza back down again 6:00
Don't forget about Paul Mooney!
+
Dave Chappelle sat down for one of his Netflix specials
His laid back slow execution and the planning of the physical parts of the joke to walk you through the mental image is A class Ali a G funny as hell
"Prescription windshields" is the most shower thought I ever heard.
I see Siddiq, I click
Yup me too
Preach
you're a simple man. I like you.
Cliq
I clicked on this so fast bc Mexican got on boots😁
They took off their boots already
K
Best joke ever! 😂😂😂😂 Mexican got on boots!
honestly the best episode of that entire series hands down
🤣😂🤣
Ali Siddiq can always make me laugh! He is simply one of the best comedians in the industry and certainly is in my list of hilarious comedians. Thank you Mr. Siddiq for all your humor and all of your insight.
This guy is too underrated. I was howling at the catapult jokes
"this must be a nearsighted car!" I laughed hard af cuz I wear glasses (nearsighted) and I would totally do this shit if it were possible.
It IS possible, but as a first time customer itd be extremely expensive 😂😂😂
I have watched this like 50 times and I still die laughing at the sound he makes when he falls off the roof!!! I'm laughing now just thinking about it! And that catapult part slays me the rest of the way out!!! I love this guy
Oh my god XD I was on the fence with that last joke, until he said "ain't nobody can steal your car". I was stunned for half a moment, then I was like "GENUIS! HE'S SO RIGHT!" Cause I've let people look through my glasses before, and unless the thief if my kind of nearsighted there's no way they're seeing crap through that windshield XD
The way he starts his clips are always hilarious, he acts like he is totally confused and smart at the same time. 👏
that last joke is genius. prescription windshield. the primary reason I even wear glasses is for driving.
Am I in drive or reverse tho? Is that the heater or the radio? Everything inside the car is blurry!
Carson Wentz 😂😂😂😂
If I ever meet him, I'm gonna want to say Mexican Got on Boots 😂😂😂
He probably is tired of that.
Ladonna Wilson He might be, but that's his fault for telling the story!
Ladonna Wilson I did when I met him lmao
He's a good guy, and so hysterical!!!
I bet he's not, prolly be syched that someone knows who he is and has his joke memorized
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The guy is one of the most natural comedians out there
Ali voice, his style, his charisma is everything 🥰
That windshield idea is so dope 😂😂😂
Until you need someone to move your car lmao
i’m DONEEEEEEEE. THIS MAN HAD ME CRYIN AND WHEN I TELL YOU... CRINEEE and he didn’t have to be vulgar ONCE. a real comic this guy is.
@6:35 -> almost, 5 fucks 2 god damns 3 shits
Vulgarity and hilarity often go hand in hand like fat Scandinavian twins singing through the hills... and ain’t nothing wrong with that brother
Yo Tru facts yo real COMEDY
O thank god YOU Approve we were all SOOooOoo worried you werent gonna like it. Pheeewwww now this man can sleep at night thank you for appropriating and validating this mans profession. And where can we find your special Robert?
Ooohhh yah YOU AREN’T A COMEDIAN! Just appreciate it and hit the like button throw up a comment n move on its people like you that leave the “reviews” but you aren’t a comedian or really even a critic your a nobody just like the rest of us. Your , OUR* opinion doesn’t matter. So i’d appreciate it if you didn’t close the door for people who may think other genres of comedy are funny and just appreciate it and move on. Your not a comedian just to reiterate one final time. And quite frankly no one cares what you are or whether you do it well. Btw this guy has a bit on jail and a guard he didnt get along with its true story and it definitely isn’t sunshine and rainbows, is he no longer a “ReALll CoMmEdIan” because he makes light of a horrible truth to a place he was once living? You are very arrogant i hope this has helped you understand this. Thanks!
This guy makes me laugh more than any other comedian right now, including the heavy hitters. He deserves millions
I had Dave chappelle for almost 20 years as my number one comedian and as hard as it was for him to be dethroned , I had to ! I made sure I watched just about everything Ali did before I made my decision .
Prescription in the windshield is a genius idea
“Ted ass is off the roof again!”
One of my fave comedian. Great story teller who's naturally funny. Houston, TX stand up 🤟🏾🤟🏾
Htown made and raised
As a brit, I have no idea why Americans are into our accents when you have accents like Ali's on your shores. Could listen to his voice all day.
I'm a big fan of the "sit down" comedy, a true fan of Ali's story telling
His act-out with the chair is PRICELESS. I would watch an Ali Siddiq special so goddamn fast!!
Do americans really go to church on a Sunday?
Um #Netflix... Start The Paperwork
Go CPNG please 🙏 just found this guy and already love his stand up 😂
I love his style of comedy. He just talks so chill and you don't expect it to be funny, then all of a sudden you get hit with this unexpected punchline. 😂
Ted ass is off da roof again
I cried laughing
This man is so funny and it seems to just come natural to him. I want to see him live!
Drop the snap
I saw him last year, so damn funny!!!
Me too I pay 45$ to see him live
u just want the BBC
I am tomorrow in Connecticut
this aint gonna be good Mitchel
Mitchel... DIS AINT GON BE GOOD
😭😭😭😭😭
"I was gonna take a sip of his blood"
DEAD🤣
Sana Bensinner 😂😂😂 that was a funny one
😂😂😂😂😂 hes quickly becoming one of my favorites
I love how he sayin ‘ Mexico’!!!! 🤣👏🏽
Ali NEEDS THAT NETFLIX SPECIAL‼️‼️
"And two million of those views are mine!" That part killed me.
Get your prescription put in your windshield so people can't steal your car was priceless
Dude that windshield idea.... that's smart
Prescription windshield is GENIUS! 😂😂😂
Totally! I would Never need to be concerned with wherever the fuck I last left my glasses.
I personally really, really like this idea! 🤔
I'm gonna get prescription windows on my car so no one steals it.
😂😂😂👓
His delivery is everything 💯🤯🤯
This guy is the best storyteller I’ve heard in my life 😂
absolutely hysterical. He's a great storyteller and his comedic timing is perfect.
“If you’re being cyber bullied just close your eyes”
So glad I found out about Ali, a great comedian with a tragic history. Im sure the future of stand up will be bright for this man!
Half this crowd....wanted that wall!!!!
Im dead over here 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
get this man his own show shoot. He has one of the biggest hearts in the comedy community. Who else has gone to jails and prisons to lift others in a way that can be life changing if even for a moment
I second this!
I’m losing my color I got the Michael Jackson billy!!!!😂
Just watched that 😂😂😂
3:47 lies! ive had a roof fall on me but ive never fallen off of a roof🤣
Just getting back into watching comedy and discovered Ali. He is a genius and now I shall binge everything I can on him.
Ted should have asked the Mexican what kind of boots he wears
I laughed waaaay too hard at this!
Notice his new tattoo on his arm
Loyce Stephen lmfao😂😂😂😂😂
I been scrolling the comments looking for someone who noticed it too.
I was wondering why his forearm so shiny
thought he was a muslim? lol
@@xaccanmusa5602 why wouldn't he be?
He's on to something about the prescription in the windshield! As usual, my people invent everything!
Yep. All you blacks invent everything.
@Ajmal Ali life is like a box of chocolates. Don't let someone steal your chocolates.
@Ajmal Ali cry kiddo
“It used to be Mexico”is what I kept screaming too. There’s Families just like that on the northern borders too but no one screams we need to tighten that border.
Exactly!!
that windshield idea is brilliant
Only this professional can give us a good show SITTING TF DOWN. Yeah he stands up, but he sits right back down and just relaxes with the audience. 👏🏼👌
One of my favorites,what an amazing person and comedian he is.
" I live in a gated community "
" I don't understand this wall".....
*'2 million of the views are mine alone'* 😂
NETFLIX GIVE THIS MAN A SPECIAL!!!!!
My man be doing stand up while sitting😄
I love this dude, he’s so funny and down to earth
MY GRANDMA HOUSE IS RIGHT THERE😠😂😂😂😂😂 Hillarious🔥
Boqol Jeedal had me rollin 🤣🤣🤣
IKR 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The best part of this is as he was telling the story of them falling of the roof, the name that came to my head was Ted!! LMAO im DYING!!
Discovered Ali 2 days ago. Now he is my addiction
😂😂😂 I love Ali. He just talks & it’s funny af. Great story teller. True comedian
At this moment I've literally just found out about this guy.. I now know what the rest of my day is gonna be used on.. 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 "yo I'm tired I'm done.. I don't do no big joke.." And did one of the funniest jokes ever 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Great comic. The real ones don't get all the movie deals. This guy been putting in work
FACTS
You’re the king of comedy because I haven’t been watching comedy for a while I started watching you and I’m hooked on your drugs keep going clean
This is actual comedy 😂