MSSP - Matt McCusker: The Relationship Wizard
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- čas přidán 12. 07. 2024
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From Matt and Shane's secret podcast ep 39 52 53 103
Support the boys: / mssecretpod
#MSSP #MattAndShaneSecretPodcast #ShaneGillis #MattMcCusker - Komedie
Never has a man blurred the line between idiot and genius as consistently as Matt
Dont be cute hes basic as hell politically
Nevermind I missread your comment yeah hes an idiot and has his moments xD
@@MangaCarta right, he's white and not gay, so he's basic
@@russwheeler3942 If you don't think hes basic you probably have sub 90 IQ. I am white Christian and want non-whites deported so you are way off base here - even Gillis has to awkwardly laugh when Mccuskar fails to dogwhistle because hes not really on our side.
Theo von lol
"She was hesitant, because I'm a lil tricky." god damn that got me good
To the topic of women crying: I have a friend that was a repo man. I use to help him out. Witnessed him tell a woman “I’m not gonna be bullied by your tears.” Ruthless.
Patrice was a repo man?!? 😂 it’s definitely a bullying tactic. No adult should cry unless dying or losing a loved one.
So based
That's sick. It's so awesome when you make them turn off the waterworks when they realise it's not manipulating you.
@@_..-.._..-.._cant tell if this is sarcasm or not but basically yeah.
My grandpa worked for cps and he'd bust out the "I used to take kids away from their families, you can't guilt trip me" on her
Matt is like if a pair of cargo shorts somehow became a person
Matt is the cigarette stub stuck between the tread on your shoe as a human
N BBB🎉 jn n.
I don't r
Zip off pants
@@caseyschoenleber1760too fuckin real
Man that’s true man
matt’s insane amount of honesty gives me so much life
s/o terry man
It’s an epidemic, I’ve looked at the metadata, no I’m not projecting
He makes shit up all the time
I love that Shane's crying voice is just Cartman lmao
Man I was wondering why it was so familiar
Same I rewatches south park last night and I finally figured it out lol
mckuskies went from j.o.'in to tporn out of spite for his ex wife to full nofap zen master. Hes full circle
The ouroboros
He stared into the abyss, and it stared back. Matt didn't blink.
he still faps he's just noporn
Our God is an Awesome God
full circle would be going back to the tporn
Matt: "I thought making my girlfriend think I'd been cheating on her right before bed would be funny" lmao . Definitely stealing the vacation move.
Yea...no. that was definitely not his plan
It’s funny X Dr c cry ivcrcu d
Not d Same as
Haha Matt's is a psycho
"What did you guys go as last year?"
"She was Cruella DeVille and I went as a dog."
"...Your relationship is f*cked-up, man."
Shane travels all over doing shows and filming tv shows and somehow Matt has better stories every week by just chilling at home
I'd love to hear Matt try to explain Warhammer 40k to Shane
They talk about Total War: Warhammer in ep 304 but yeah, I’d love to hear their take on the Chaos Gods. Maybe Matt could throw in some Jungian Dawg Magick into his interpretation.
Glad there's some 40k fans that are dawgs too
@@benmarsden2581we're everywhere, brother
@@benmarsden2581 Alpha legion spies are everywhere.
Fuck yeah shamman getting chaotic would be legendary
Matt is a wizard alright. a grandwizard.
OT is full of shane concocting sentences to make matt look like a G dub
Grand imperial wizard
Matt really is a space cadet
“Any port in a storm” 16:13.
That comment by Shane is wild 🤣🤣🤣
peepop i am once again asking for history bed time stories
💯 ❤❤❤
Literally just commented asking for the same stuff, big dawgs think alike
Come on peepoop for the dawgz
Agreed. Get on it bitch. The dawgz have spoken. Also anything with war. Thanks G
FOR THE DAWGZ
i love how mccuskers bandaid for everything is vacation and no fap
Yeah but he a dumbass. Why France or Dubaï when you're few hours flight from Mexico City? Bitches LOOOOVE Mexico City. And cheaper than all that France and Arab bullshit. Tacos, Pozole and some mezcal artesanal can rekindle all relationships
Matt is the fucking man
Matt is like a real life version of Randall from clerks
Best analogy holy shit
Good pull bro
@@cloudbloom fucking. Fuck. Dude. Fuck. Wow. Best comment ever. So true
Hahah Jesus christ this was the most accurate real person to movie character comparison ever
This is like bragging about outsmarting a housefly.
My favorite new pod. Matt is way funnier then he’s given credit for.
He’s the reason I listen to the pod
Come for Shane stay for Matt. Recent new listener as well.
Who doesn’t give him credit? True dawgs know that he carried the first like 40 eps and steps up whenever Shane is not on his A game
True I must say his stand up game needs some work, but I have no doubt he’s got the resources to excel
@@bludragon47couldnt have said it better.
"The Girl Who Dwelt Below" 😂😂😂
I want a parking cone like spud😂😂😂spuds sat at home listening to this so proud of himself
the shaman is all knowing
BLESSED ARE THE DAWGZ
Oh wow I haven’t came this fast before I swear, you’re the first to make me do this
Your welcome
Putting that Dope dick down on that goood chi town
Matt is the beachboy equivalent of theovon
That vacation move is fucking genius
i heard Paris is nice 😂😂
Hard break check is the best when you’re getting the silent treatment. They either react and break the treatment or swallow it.
Swallow their teeth? 😂
Or maintain silence, get out the car, hitchhike home and put your dog to sleep.
@@bardsamok9221 *put her dog to sleep before she gets home *
I like how his minion voice was completely wrong, he thinks they talk like pokemon do
Matt enjoying Minions is a hilarious non-bit
I died at the minion shit holy fuck
13:35 is an all time Matt line for me
Life is hard for a loser
@@T_D_B_ life is always hard bucko
@@T_D_B_can confirm
The D.E.N.N.I.S system 101
It does seem like a variant of that system
M.A.T.T.
Mingle
Advance
Turned away
Tporn
Matt's wife is a goddess. Matt is hilarious. Hell yea dude
You know the woman in the picture isn't his wife right?
His wife is blacker than black ya
@@DweeD1516 prove it in court
@@stoybtorn I could...easily. That's Ariana Grande for one and his wife is black. That is not his wife that is a Disney star turned shitty pop singer who looks busted without makeup.
really? she sounds like a c*nt
Passive agressive, they know what they are doing, trust me, you have to max the reaction, Matt's response is perfect
Pongo was the name of my first dog lol he was a Rottweiler…and when I got older I asked my mom why that was his name because I was super young when we got him…so i didn’t remember. She said it’s the only name I’d let him have cause I was apparently obsessed with 101 Dalmatians😂😂 I’m a bit younger than Shane, but it’s funny hearing him talk about wanting to name his dog Pongo too lol
Cute
Pongo is such a great name for a dog tbh & I too loved 101 Dalmatian’s as a kid and I’m significantly younger than shane, I think it’s just an autism thing to love 101 Dalmatian’s, my brother worked in caring for severely autistic adults & one of them would literally watch 101 Dalmatian’s on repeat all day every day & it was the only thing he did.
I love how shane wants so badly to make fun of matt for the minions but just cant. 25:19 . That "oh man" was deep and he was powerless
God damn those dudes who can't have a good time because they are so obsessed with trying to get laid are the WORST
Thank you for the nuggets peepop.
Matt-"oh i would take whatever came to me"😂
I think I just discovered the realest, most relatable content on CZcams!
I found out today Mccusker write a book, that apparently, is extremely well liked by everyone who read it. I can't really explain my different levels of joy knowing that this exists.
Dude, read it, its great. For sure buy it.
What’s it called ?
@@CasualChriso II forgot. It's on Goodreads. Not many reviews. I've heard it's really good
@@CasualChriso overlook
Awesome mate, cheers, just bought on Amazon, it's £9
Matt's girl was turning tricks with all that cash on the floor
Listening to this makes me feel less stressed about my own relationship lol!
i’m looking for the clip where matt says he’s “baby crazy.” one of the funniest things i’ve ever heard a man say on a podcast
Bro what😂😂😂
Yoooo, that vacation shit worked….
These thumbnails are pure gold
I used to think I was like Shane, but I’m slowly realizing I’m Matt.
4:50 that "wow" lmao
That vacation line is god tier
Strike out blues is real i used to get it early twenties savage with the self bro
MATTS ONTO SOMETHING HERE BOYS
Dude this is the best
Matt thought 2 planes did Pearl Harbor but his intellect still blows brendan schaub out the water
30:30 Matt 😂 I’d be broke and constantly sunburnt
The passion of the cusk. Let's roll
matt drops a kung flu at 20:23
the McCusker Hair is Waaavvvy aha
Mccumster looks so handsome in the thumby
28:00 shane was like "HUH" hahaahaha
Wait... is the car ride is a universal thing? Our argument carried over to dinner a couple weeks ago and I hit her with "Why am I in a relationship that has a 10 mile, surface street boundary" she didnt like that. She hung her head
The best reverse to pull on the silent treatment is just to sit, let them be quiet and do literally anything else, let them stew and once they ask why you aren’t concerned about why they haven’t said anything just hit them with “well I thought something was bothering you but I know if it’s something serious enough you’d discuss with me, we both know how to communicate and how to address problems maturely without making it a blown up thing so I know we can handle it”
"oh did you stop talking? i didn't notice"
This is exactly why I have been single for so long. I don't deal with people BS anymore.
Mmmmmmhm sure
seems matt took a dab like a cart😂
i say the same shit lmao “next time u drive then” lolol
22:25-23:10 is the hardest I’ve laughed in years.
needed this today since I was starved of a PAYTCH episode today
Is there no paytch coming?
@@bigben42 idk but one hasn't been uploaded yet and it normally would've been by now
@@HighriseSuicides it’s out now
@@bigben42 ty for that info legend
I haven't even listened to this but this is the best photoshop I've ever seen
That Owen Wilson movie was bad ass
top tier post good look man 🔥
like leaving cheese for a mouse
holy shit matt is me hahahaha
Love guru? Nah Love Shaman!
so relatable haha
Grabbed nuts randomly got me cracked up😂😂
Dr. Matt MCCusker saved my marriage!!!
19:30 something, same shit for me, afraid of rocking my girl on accident, the ultra instinct is a real fear
"Let's go towards to rocks!" "No, we'll fucking die!"
Women. Hah.
I named my Dutch shepherd Reggie after Reggie bush. Thought I was the first to come up with that.
About the money on the floor thing... I once had this weird friend that would believe in all this odd, witchy, new age manifestation shit and he would throw money all over the floor. I tried to pick it up and he yelled at me that it was supposed to bring more money your way or some shit. So maybe it was that? Idfk 😂
Matt mccusker fuckin rules
I'm listening to this in my civic type R but I get it. They make it feel like a LX.
That was really meeeean 😭😭😭
Reggie Brooks reference. 😢😢😢😍😍😍
Based Matt accidentally steals your bbg
I came fast thanks bros
15:24 kills me
Lmao i thought that was a fucking paul walker for a second 😂😂😂
I’m surprised Shane doesn’t like Minions because of the Minion’s tenure in the 40’s
19:35 ball touch reflexes
Shane needs to protect u
“Warter.”
Too late brother 😂😂
matt is the funniest man on earth
"but I got NO money"
Wait awhile. You get to a point in the relationship where the silent treatment is the best.
It's a gift
Why would you stay with someone you don't like?
@@ghagzor Because I'm not a millennial and I have kids. My grandparents on both sides stayed together. My parents stayed together. My friends parents stayed together. "Someone I don't like"? You'll never find someone you like all the time...if you do that's great for you...but in the real world most of us find people we like most of the time and that's good enough because we're not fragile little pussies that require validation.
@@neilbowman573 fuck yeah
@@neilbowman573 sounds like you're a little pussy to me
Title shoulda been Love Cast with Dr Matt
Every single chick I've dated...there has been an expensive vacation "test" within the first year.
Matt the goat
Pro tip to breaking the silent treatment on a road trip when you're driving:
Play the same song off your phone on repeat.
I reconmend Santa Esmeralda's version of "Don't let me be Misunderstood"
Its a 17 minutes version of a timeless classic, plus its God Damn good every bit of that 17 minutes is different from every but of that 17 mins
Dont be pussy and give it a listen right now.
I just gave it a listen. You’re right it’s pretty damn good
That's a super expensive way to get out of an argument
The key is to never follow through with it.
@84kjk yea the consequences of that are not worth it