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The Conjugal Rights Guide

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  • čas přidán 19. 08. 2024
  • The Conjugal Rights Guide
    Narrated By Mr Cholmondley Warner

Komentáře • 174

  • @kjamison5951
    @kjamison5951 Před 3 lety +86

    “How often do you and your spouse engage in conjugal unpleasantness?”
    “Infrequently.”
    “Is that answer one word, or two?”

  • @BassSwirls
    @BassSwirls Před 3 lety +124

    We definitely need comedy like this on our teles again...

    • @postie9434
      @postie9434 Před 3 lety +17

      the problem being is the woke brigade would complain

    • @sharonlee4773
      @sharonlee4773 Před 3 lety +9

      Agreed but you wont get it on Woketastic BBC anymore! And to think this comedy was considered to be doing away with offending anyone!

    • @davidtomlinson6138
      @davidtomlinson6138 Před 2 lety +1

      Too right

    • @MrDaiseymay
      @MrDaiseymay Před rokem

      @@postie9434 can't we arrange an accident ?

    • @frednitney5831
      @frednitney5831 Před rokem

      This is a comedy?

  • @bewildered5444
    @bewildered5444 Před rokem +19

    That filthy picture of the duchess of Arbroath without a hat on always works for me.

  • @Salena905
    @Salena905 Před 2 lety +27

    I had to stop for a minute as I was laughing too much 🤣 I miss these shows SO much. Thanks for sharing these 💖💖😂👏👏👏👏👏

  • @kennztube
    @kennztube Před 2 lety +27

    "uniting your unmentionables" absolute gold.

  • @AnitaDil
    @AnitaDil Před rokem +14

    Harry is brilliant, he’s so funny and witty!

  • @oldgitsknowstuff
    @oldgitsknowstuff Před 5 lety +42

    'The Unpleasantness' !
    Love it ! I'm in stitches.

  • @A-small-amount-of-peas
    @A-small-amount-of-peas Před rokem +18

    What I love about these sketches is most civilised countries had films similar to this growing up too so it relates beyond just us Brits

    • @frednitney5831
      @frednitney5831 Před rokem +5

      Civilized countries beyond Britannia? Surely you jest.

  • @Slash1066
    @Slash1066 Před 3 lety +55

    These Harry Enfield sketches were genius, the self defence one is so so funny

  • @stephaniecarrow4898
    @stephaniecarrow4898 Před 3 lety +26

    "Has the train arrived in Paddington yet?"
    "No, I'm afraid it's in Colchester. Ouch." ☺☺

  • @Rhubba
    @Rhubba Před 5 lety +141

    "Here is a photo of the Duchess of Arbroath without her hat on"
    "Most invigorating!"

    • @dr.davidwho4053
      @dr.davidwho4053 Před 4 lety +4

      😆

    • @Gilmaris
      @Gilmaris Před 3 lety +10

      I can't believe they actually showed that photo before the camera. Children may be watching!

    • @mercedesscholl5551
      @mercedesscholl5551 Před 3 lety +5

      @@Gilmaris Outrageous!!!

    • @simonlamphee9905
      @simonlamphee9905 Před 3 lety +2

      Excellent non P c comedy

    • @mac1975
      @mac1975 Před 2 lety

      She did actually (Arbroath) have some iffy photos..

  • @MrBrutal33
    @MrBrutal33 Před 4 lety +60

    "the more foreign minded of you"

  • @gazzaboo8461
    @gazzaboo8461 Před 4 lety +48

    I love the size of Great Britain on that globe!

    • @Gilmaris
      @Gilmaris Před 3 lety +2

      Is that by chance a coded language to prevent graphic references? Because I do believe that is what the lady said.

    • @MrDaiseymay
      @MrDaiseymay Před rokem +1

      whats wrong with it ?

    • @jpaulc441
      @jpaulc441 Před rokem

      A vertiable Atlantis!

    • @KrisHughes
      @KrisHughes Před rokem

      Nonsense! It's perfectly to scale.

  • @loisdemontmajour974
    @loisdemontmajour974 Před 4 lety +81

    As my mother always said...a good wife doesn't like that.....that's was the reason my father ran away with her sister and lived happily ever after...for the sister was a very bad wife and he liked it...and he was right..

    • @marccas10
      @marccas10 Před 3 lety +18

      Ya gotta luv a slapper!

    • @fingersTitan
      @fingersTitan Před 3 lety +7

      @@marccas10 I laughed way to much..... Niiiiiiiice one, nice...

    • @memorylane9557
      @memorylane9557 Před 2 lety +2

      Is your mother still single? pH number please.

    • @loisdemontmajour974
      @loisdemontmajour974 Před 2 lety +2

      @@memorylane9557.... you can visit her....10 stupid virgins cemetery ....grave number 666...

    • @shaun2urz
      @shaun2urz Před 2 lety +3

      @@memorylane9557 pH number? Are you implying she was acidic?

  • @MothershipOracle
    @MothershipOracle Před 3 lety +12

    rather splendid indeed! can't doubt us brits for jolly fine humour.

    • @Gynra
      @Gynra Před rokem

      Absolutely spiffing!

  • @turbo8628
    @turbo8628 Před 5 lety +45

    "Never, never, never attempt to use strong language in front of a lady" 🤣

  • @Hackett1066
    @Hackett1066 Před rokem +7

    This is how I imagined my grandparents doing it 😂

  • @misterprecocious2491
    @misterprecocious2491 Před 3 lety +21

    35 people were unable to maintain 'not only a stiff upper lip'.

  • @derekcrymble9085
    @derekcrymble9085 Před rokem +3

    I haven't laughed this hard since my friends mom queefed out her birthday candles .

  • @bul3119
    @bul3119 Před 5 lety +23

    That electro bed ....🤣

  • @BenDover-tj8vf
    @BenDover-tj8vf Před rokem +3

    Got a hold of the headboard pet I'm coming at you from the back ....... Standard north east foreplay .

  • @royksk
    @royksk Před 4 lety +47

    No need for sex education in schools, just show this most illuminating video 🤪

  • @DrumToTheBassWoop
    @DrumToTheBassWoop Před 3 lety +7

    This is why Renounced Pronunciation comedy can be really funny. 😂

  • @brianperry
    @brianperry Před 3 lety +33

    I remember walking into classroom on the occasion of sex education. We boys were separated from the girls, on entering the classroom we were confronted with a full frontal and side section drawing of a female with all her :er' naughty bits on show pinned to the blackboard....the teacher describing ''not only the stiff upper lip, and the unpleasantness'' circa 1958/9

    • @MrDaiseymay
      @MrDaiseymay Před rokem +1

      I was getting hedoocated then the only thing stiff, was the punishment cane

  • @borleyboo5613
    @borleyboo5613 Před 4 lety +10

    ‘Electro Bed’......🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That was the funniest part.

  • @ikonkaar
    @ikonkaar Před 2 lety +8

    It doesn't get much funnier than this!

  • @ricksmith7631
    @ricksmith7631 Před 3 lety +17

    i havent laughed that hard in a long time, pricesless..

    • @BassSwirls
      @BassSwirls Před rokem +1

      In the interests of decency I'd rather you had said 'firm' instead of hard.

  • @markywellsboy2182
    @markywellsboy2182 Před 3 lety +6

    "Its indecent!"
    It is if you push hard enough.

  • @bobroberts6155
    @bobroberts6155 Před rokem +3

    That Duchess of Arbroath is such a brazen hussy.

  • @brianartillery
    @brianartillery Před rokem +2

    "Conjugal unpleasantness". Genius.

  • @susandumbill8805
    @susandumbill8805 Před rokem +2

    "...we have the assistance of an attractive young lady..!!" (poor girl looks more like a KGB Agent!)

  • @alanwitton5039
    @alanwitton5039 Před 4 lety +45

    Has the train arrived in Paddington yet? Lmao

  • @RabidLeroy
    @RabidLeroy Před 5 lety +17

    - “Ouch!”
    - “Sorry.”
    *cut to lights on.*

  • @heartofoak45
    @heartofoak45 Před rokem +3

    No wonder so many married men have a 'touch of the lavender' about them.😁😁

  • @leedsman54
    @leedsman54 Před 5 lety +15

    Crying with laughter!

  • @sharonlee4773
    @sharonlee4773 Před 3 lety +14

    I wish society was more like this today.

    • @annakeye
      @annakeye Před 3 lety +3

      Is that because you'd do it for a potato? I'm assuming you're a foreigner.

    • @sharonlee4773
      @sharonlee4773 Před 3 lety +3

      @@annakeyeI'd rather have a cup o tea.And I'm 100% British sweetheart!

    • @MrDaiseymay
      @MrDaiseymay Před rokem

      what the ---

    • @MrDaiseymay
      @MrDaiseymay Před rokem

      Well quite

  • @leighmac1625
    @leighmac1625 Před 3 lety +18

    The buzzer bed eventually cured my brother but the electro bed would’ve worked a lot quicker.

  • @brendanharding6699
    @brendanharding6699 Před 5 lety +7

    Brilliant stuff

  • @annmitchell4663
    @annmitchell4663 Před 5 lety +23

    Conjugal unpleasantness....lol

  • @GodfatherXXI
    @GodfatherXXI Před 3 lety +15

    "No sex please. We're British!"

  • @johnmccabe1974
    @johnmccabe1974 Před 3 lety +5

    Very well illi-e-u-straited.

  • @jochenstacker7448
    @jochenstacker7448 Před 3 lety +4

    "Where people will (ahem) for a potato."

  • @elgonm289
    @elgonm289 Před 2 lety +3

    "The act of frightfulness"

  • @grumpyoldgit9498
    @grumpyoldgit9498 Před 3 lety +9

    This is well written & performed comedy and is funny. Thanks for the laughs. Modern comedy is shite(My humble opinion) Last leg, Mash Report, Have I got etc etc

    • @rossmckenzie2433
      @rossmckenzie2433 Před 3 lety +4

      Totally agree ........ we're told what to watch nowadays by all the leftists in high places, and that's why we don't see writers doing brilliant stuff like 'Til Death Us Do Part' and the likes. Even most of the old stand-up comedians were banned from tv because of their routines. It's all very sad and boring now, and this is why more and more folk have stopped paying their tv licences, and moved to non-censored outlets so they CAN watch their old favourites of the 70's and 80's. Terrestrial tv is becoming an endangered species now, and no fucking wonder. Most of what they put on is an insult to the intelligence, i.e soaps, shit 'quiz' programmes, and penny-a-dozen cooking programmes, and totally fake 'Reality' self-indulgent nonsense. And of course the brain-washing, biased-towards-the-left news broadcasts.

    • @seymourskinner2533
      @seymourskinner2533 Před 3 lety

      Lolz. Old man shakes fist at clouds. Whine on, whine on.

    • @seymourskinner2533
      @seymourskinner2533 Před 3 lety

      @@rossmckenzie2433 who are these leftists in high positions with all this power? Oh and give us an example of someone who was banned old fella. Go on . Unless you mean the pedos and perverts that your lot let run amuck through the 60s and 70s. Good times heh? 😅😅 best part being these sketches were actually making fun of everything you’re moaning about losing. 🤣🤣🤣👍

    • @seymourskinner2533
      @seymourskinner2533 Před 3 lety

      @@grumpyoldgit9498 who said I don’t like them? I just don’t need to rubbish others shows to compliment what I do like.You Expressed your opinion, as dumbarse as it was, and I pointed out what a whiny little tissue you are. My opinion. See how that works?

    • @seymourskinner2533
      @seymourskinner2533 Před 3 lety

      @@grumpyoldgit9498 😅that’s your response? Took you a week for that? You really are a bit simple. Sorry you’re so fragile precious.

  • @stephenholmes1036
    @stephenholmes1036 Před 6 měsíci

    I hope young couples are watching and learning.

  • @laurencetitusoates6328
    @laurencetitusoates6328 Před 3 lety +2

    Love going to Colchester 😉

  • @simonl1785
    @simonl1785 Před 5 lety +7

    Utterly fucking funny

  • @Neitherherenorthere970
    @Neitherherenorthere970 Před 4 lety +3

    Superb!

  • @Growler57
    @Growler57 Před 5 lety +5

    Electro bed damn great idea

    • @winstonmiller9649
      @winstonmiller9649 Před 5 lety +1

      Electro bed. Yes great!! That way I would have stopped wetting my bed before age 35. 😉👍🏽💖

  • @zzzyxwv
    @zzzyxwv Před 11 měsíci +1

    Splendid just splendid😂

  • @Sou1defiler
    @Sou1defiler Před měsícem

    the Electro bed advert at the end is also quality

  • @jonathanmarsden3653
    @jonathanmarsden3653 Před 5 lety +3

    Very funny 😁😁enjoyed watching this video 😀😀

  • @frankford1115
    @frankford1115 Před 2 lety +1

    Brilliant!

  • @russellwilliams1071
    @russellwilliams1071 Před 6 lety +16

    Only time train arrives early

  • @RichArd-vc5jp
    @RichArd-vc5jp Před 5 lety +21

    Has the train arrived in Paddington yet?...

  • @evelynmifsud1125
    @evelynmifsud1125 Před 4 lety +6

    In today world , Electro Bed, would be classified ( domestic violence)

  • @bigbaxi
    @bigbaxi Před 3 lety +3

    I like arriving in colchester.

  • @bernadettemurray8260
    @bernadettemurray8260 Před 2 lety +1

    Howling!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @shiftyshamsk
    @shiftyshamsk Před 5 lety +9

    Nothing has changed in all these years eh.

  • @roberttelford745
    @roberttelford745 Před 3 lety +3

    Poor Colchester.......

  • @BBoaBrim
    @BBoaBrim Před 5 měsíci +1

    I’m more like the boy at the end 🤣

  • @btrdangerdan2010
    @btrdangerdan2010 Před 12 lety +10

    So funny!

  • @marcushinton772
    @marcushinton772 Před 5 měsíci

    From this to Love Island and Married at First Sight - progress 😂😂😂

  • @gregwilliams6828
    @gregwilliams6828 Před 3 lety +3

    I have many potatoes

  • @letsseeif
    @letsseeif Před rokem +1

    Well. I suppose the only way that the newly married couple could come to terms with consummating the ghastly deed, was for the wife to fain sleep and think of England. How the husband coped I'll (short of inspirational visuals) one can only guess.

  • @williem1710
    @williem1710 Před 2 měsíci

    No such lady as the Duchess of Arbroath with or without a hat. I’ve checked.
    I suspect she’s a comic device.

    • @jeremyholt4740
      @jeremyholt4740 Před měsícem

      Well,blow me. That almost suggests that women who appear in works of an invigorating nature may not actually use their REAL names…

  • @BassSwirls
    @BassSwirls Před 4 lety +8

    Coalchester. 👌

  • @davidfalconer8913
    @davidfalconer8913 Před rokem

    Hilarious ! ... the ( UK round pin plug ) adds to this era ( ? ) ... DAVE™ 🛑

  • @simonf8902
    @simonf8902 Před 2 lety +1

    Orf spring

  • @russellwilliams1071
    @russellwilliams1071 Před 6 lety +8

    Mi sides are gone 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @winstonmiller9649
      @winstonmiller9649 Před 5 lety +1

      🤣😂 I've found muscles in my sides that I never knew existed before!!

  • @emho5135
    @emho5135 Před 2 lety +1

    Isn't Colchester northeast of Paddington? What were they aiming for in the first place?

  • @Knappa22
    @Knappa22 Před měsícem

    Surely a train from Colchester would be heading for Liverpool St not Paddington 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • @thekaiser4333
    @thekaiser4333 Před 3 lety

    Bring back Electro-Bed!

  • @jasonhoe
    @jasonhoe Před rokem

    The beastliness ... Ha ha.

  • @ewaf88
    @ewaf88 Před 3 lety +1

    Orfspring

  • @newtonwhatevs
    @newtonwhatevs Před rokem

    Most invigorating!

  • @PeterStrachanMusic
    @PeterStrachanMusic Před 2 lety

    Actual comedy... Strange but

  • @carlgrant9785
    @carlgrant9785 Před 3 lety +4

    I say, this film is a bit off. Most unseemly.

    • @petesmitt
      @petesmitt Před 2 lety

      debauchery.. just what is the world coming to.

  • @paulsmith-ll9vg
    @paulsmith-ll9vg Před 2 lety +3

    although this was an informative public information film, i was mostly offended by all the strong language, and acts of sin and wickedness, and if i ever want to get married and so have children then off course me and my wife may well have a nasty conversation about the beastly things that we will have to do in the bedroom no doubt with the lights off because if i just about want to look at her during the day ,then at night, i will have to console myself that i at least cannot see her when it`s dark and off course during our union i don`t want to really look at her when she makes not nice facial expressions, and no doubt if i`m doing something right than she will make a noise like a she wolf, and hopefully we can make it quick and try to keep any not nice language down to a minimum, but off course during it all i may well have to say things like is it in the tunnel yet, and do you feel damp down there, and she well say to me encouraging things like have you done this before, and do you know what you are doing, and have you even got one, and off course if we don`t succeed the first time then i may well have to be a bit more prepared the next time by drinking a litre of gin, looking at the harrod`s underwear catalogue, and maybe even looking at a photograph of her sister, and off course once all the nastiness is at least over and done with for now, not only will we hopefully be blessed by having children, but also hopefully i will never have to watch this public information film again and think about the filth contained in it, which can only remind me of our gran parents shagging and off course know one wants that.

  • @SimonFurber
    @SimonFurber Před rokem

    She is not a graphic revenge. Ouch. 😊

  • @thedwightguy
    @thedwightguy Před 2 lety

    What was the damn date this was filmed??? Shades of where Monty Python and others in Britland got their ideas and tempo from: this guy.

    • @jontalbot1
      @jontalbot1 Před rokem

      Made long after Monty Python. Harry Enfields comedy was a sketch show ( ie shorts like this) based around a series of characters of which Mr Chomoldley Walker was one

    • @MrDaiseymay
      @MrDaiseymay Před rokem

      @@jontalbot1 Made in the 90's, but ridiculing the speech and valuess of Cinema News Reels and Public advice films of the 1930's.

  • @rossmckenzie2433
    @rossmckenzie2433 Před 3 lety +1

    🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

  • @free..to..air..
    @free..to..air.. Před rokem

    I recall the exact opposite sex education scenario to this...its John Cleese and his ' Wife'..in The Meaning Of Life...watch it and you'll see what I mean

  • @steamdieselrailwayvideosfi4296

    Electrobed ?............. where can you buy one? ...... i`m told Amazon may have some in stock ............ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

  • @btrdangerdan2010
    @btrdangerdan2010 Před 12 lety

    So g

  • @cheesetomato9140
    @cheesetomato9140 Před rokem

    Pot poodle the dead dog in a pot 🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣

  • @neoshanahan497
    @neoshanahan497 Před 5 lety +3

    North London is better than east London

    • @johnniethepom2905
      @johnniethepom2905 Před 4 lety

      And it't certainly better than souff London .

    • @MrDaiseymay
      @MrDaiseymay Před 3 lety

      What for---Beastliness?

    • @Walthur13
      @Walthur13 Před 3 lety

      Absolutely right, mate. North London has culture and brains. East London doesn't.

  • @sublunacy
    @sublunacy Před 4 lety

    Commietube

  • @jacquelinefox2632
    @jacquelinefox2632 Před 2 lety +2

    Orfspring. Lmso.

    • @alanfeldman1255
      @alanfeldman1255 Před rokem

      this thing went over my head. I sirpose that might have somepin t'do with the fact that I turned off the audio so I wouldn't dis-turb my sleeping wife. (true story)

  • @Knappa22
    @Knappa22 Před 3 lety

    Ill-u-strate. Vis-u-al.
    Haha

  • @simonf8902
    @simonf8902 Před rokem

    Orfspring