How to Deal with Toxic CoWorkers Gossip
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- čas přidán 2. 07. 2024
- Is your coworker's gossip getting out of hand? Watch this video to learn how to stop them with scripted responses that work quickly!
How to Deal with Toxic Coworkers Gossip and stop workplace gossip - if you are the receiver of toxic gossip, learn how to shut them down with these easy to use strategies.
Whether you are dealing with a difficult coworker or a bully who is using toxic gossip to ruin your career, you will need to learn how to deal with gossip at work and toxic people at work so that you can overcome the negative effects of gossiping in the workplace.
Female coworkers, male coworkers, and bully bosses can create toxic environments that create physical, emotional, and mental strain. The stress in your body will show up to tell you there is something wrong.
Disarm toxic people and change an unhealthy work environment into a place you enjoy going to with these simple strategies designed to help you deal with toxic people at work.
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💪💪 Tammy Dunnett is a Leadership and Communication Skills coach, organizational trainer, author, and keynote speaker.
She empowers healthcare professionals to confidently, and gracefully resolve conflict and end workplace bullying while creating a career where they are respected, empowered, and appreciated.
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Toxic gossiping CoWorkers • How to Deal with Toxic...
00:00 How to Deal with Toxic CoWorkers Gossip
01:15 Ten Conversational Starter Download
02:41 What is Toxic Gossip
02:46 What to do about toxic gossiping?
3:05 What motivates a toxic gossiper?
3:23 Thee keys that motivate a toxic gossiper.
3:43 First key: Fear
4:23 Second key: Belonging
5:09 Third: Power
7:05 Ways in which toxic gossiping might be coming to your attention.
8:32 What do you do when you're the target of the gossip?
10:06 Sample phrases to use when approaching the gossiper
12:22 Are you someone who is struggling in your workplace?
#TammyDunnett #ToxicCoworkers #CommunicationSkills
people that gossip at work should just be fired. because they are NOT working. too many losers spend all day worrying about the next person and spreading rumors.
People are what they were taught - many of these behaviours can be changed - and speaking up is a part of the process. If we don’t, then the behaviors go on
Too many lazy useless ppl that go to "work" to just do nothing but talk/gossip with co workers and brownnose to bosses, Then the actual good useful strong workers get backlash.. same crap everywhere.
The most toxic coworkers at my job have been there the longest. One tries to triangulate and the younger coworkers follow suit. It's best to ignore them and not engage in any gossip. Management does nothing
It is often what I see as well - is that the ones who have been there the longest are the toxic employees ... and those who have just been hired - there is the onboarding process where toxic employees will bring new staff into the fold, so it is really those who made it past onboarding unscathed that are sometimes in the best position to make a change. Of course I do love a new employee with a voice!
You get it
Management may or may not try their best (generally) but the overarching systems enable gossipy, narcissistic people. That’s why it’s down to folk like us to de-nable these stupid idiots.
True story
Yep. It’s hard for some of the new ones to ignore it because they want to be part of the group, but if you stay away from it or at least the majority of it then you will be trusted and probably promoted. I have worked at different levels and I noticed the entry level jobs such as admin support roles tend to be the worst areas.
My work colleagues are all gossipers, its such a toxic environment. Everyone knows everything about everyone so the only solution is to isolate in my office. I dont want to be part of them🤦🏻♀️
Good choice. Sometimes staying away from the gossip is a good idea. Have you downloaded the safe conversation starters? There is a great script in there to stop gossip
Me neither, they talk about they’re life , so detailed who did drugs, I’m like seriously 😳 do people really need to talk about these kinds of issues. They get loud and overreact for everything. I’ve been there for a month I started to look for another job. So toxic. They want to know drama. I told my coworkers 1 day I don’t like drama , me my husband and kids are boring so they don’t ask me about anything.
Everyone at my job knows everything about everyone.
Who does what for how many cookies??
It's really annoying!! I'm so tired of hearing about their personal relationships with their live-in boyfriends & their step kids & the boyfriends ex-wives. It's like damn! I literally know their sex lives,their kids up & downs,I know way more things about these people than I honestly care to know.
I know they talk about me & frankly I don't give a damn but I'm tired of hearing about it.
Any suggestions to stop hearing about it??
Thank you. I hate gossiping so much and I can't stand it when I fall into adding to it.
🎉🎉
I am literally watching this while at work right now. My co-workers shut me out of conversations, gossip about my the second I walk away from them, and constantly put me down. This is so helpful.
I am sorry to hear you are going through this ... I hope you have been able to put in some boundaries that make you feel better
I’m so sorry, hun. I know EXACTLY how you feel. 😢
@@Jellibean83 oh dear - if you know it that means you are either going through it or have experienced it
Witnessed it yesterday and one of them called me a dumb bitch behind my back years ago, so I don't talk to him, I know what he's about, always watches me
dont talk about ur life thats giving them fuel to talk about u i learned that when i was fresh out of high school. Dont add them on social media either
If there are things you don’t want known, then I agree. You no longer control the information once it is told - Great tip on social media. I would also add don’t put anything on social media that you would not want seen
@Tammy Dunnett, Communication Skills for Work definitely I wouldn't add them on any socials
The toxic gossipers are usually the worst performers on the floor because they are not actually doing anything. While the target is usually the best performer in an attempt to secure their jobs.
It is true that high performers are targeted
Thank you for this video. I've been on every side of this. I need to set better boundaries.
You’re welcome
I would use the same answer in both situations. Please do not bring me any gossip about me or anyone else. Then shift the focus to something actually useful and set clear boundaries with this person. Going to john is just gonna drag us into the shitty vortex. Let your work speak.
That is a great script to add to our toolbelt
@@tammydunnettleadership Thank you. Your content helps us navigate the minefield in some places.
I went throught a few toxic work places in two of those work environments it got intense I was very stress out and I had a lot on my mind now I'm doing Uber and Door dash I cut most of that stress in half when made this move
Yes sometimes leaving is the right decision- what are you doing to heal and empower yourself in future situations?
@@tammydunnettleadership maybe looking into Starting a business I'm looking at that I've always wanted to go that route
@@tammydunnettleadership I'm still trying to figure that out
This may sound counterintuitive- because when we are in a toxic environment we focus on protecting ourselves- now is the time to look i ward and explore what you do / dont do that may have contributed to the situation
The bottom line is people talk too damn much. People who gossip are miserable souls. If people was to go to work and focus on work and do your hours and get out. The only way people should talk is if it's a job situation if it's not just ignore them and keep it moving that's the only way to break that cycle. Sometimes you have to just let people know we're you stand so the next time they will know not come around you with that nonsense.
A world of “should” does nothing to address the reality
Omg you are AMAZING!! I love all your videos. Please keep it up. You have been my go to for everyday workplace management. You literally live in my car (haha... I have you on replay) great ideas!!!
What has been your biggest takeaway?
Sooooo 👏 amazingly put into words.
Also the way you say 'about' is SUPER CUTE 😍
Sounds like Canadian accent it’s cool about always sounds like aBOAT
The ratchet folk talk right in front of you, about you, to others.
What do you do when it happens?
@@tammydunnettleadership speaking for myself I act as if I don't hear anything. My rule is if they didn't say it to me or mention my name, than it is not about me.I wear my wireless earbuds whether that is on or not, read or get engrossed in my work.
Specific skills and values. Great work.
Thanks! Which one do you find yourself in - the receiver of gossip or the one who is gossiped about?
This is great. Thank you!
You are welcome!
Great information, thank you!
Thanks for taking the time to write! I appreciate the feedback
How is gossip showing up in your life? Have you noticed any toxic gossip?
The tips you share in your video are great! As an HR professional we often try to get employees to work out issues personally before escalating the situation. This video is a great tool for any small business owner, manager or HR professional to watch and share with any employees who may be going through this. Thank you for posting.
Thanks for the comment. As an HR professional I imagine you have a lot of teaching moments!
How about a workplace filled with men that gossip and like confusion
Gossip is gossip - the strategies can work in either workplace. If the behaviour does not stop, it then becomes about your next step
They must be gay
How do you deal with a case where your coworker is gossiping, lying, and slandering you but is unwilling to talk with you about it when you confront them about what they're saying to others?
It may be a few things to try. Confrontation is not usually a place people feel safe to talk - let alone confess. There are several strategies I share in my FB group (leadership communication) and even more support inside my Conquer Conflict program that may support you
Honestly, if I had a wish it would be that at the work place find someone else to be obsessed with. Understand....😡😡😡
It would be better if they did not bother anyone ;)
If I was to confront the person would just deny, she’s a huge fake so I cut off any “friendship” with the person
Setting boundaries is a great strategy
If I don’t feel comfortable talking to the two parties that I heard gossiping about me could I go to my supervisor?
Have been a victim of workplace bullying. Got away from the previous site and experiencing this at the new site. I don’t feel like I can handle confrontation
Thank you for the question. It is a pattern I often see (and experienced myself) - leaving one job does not mean we are in the clear. These lessons will continue to show up until we lean into them
Quick question and then some thoughts
Have you downloaded the Safe Conversation Starters? It will give you a scripted way to address this
Second. Yes you can talk with your supervisor and I always suggest you go not just with a problem- but with a solution
This can be “I need your advice on something … I believe I am the subject of office gossip, and I am unsure what to say to bring it up. How would you recommend I do that?”
You’re solution is to get their advice. It positions them as a resource and they are likely to support you
Hi Thanks for responding. I haven’t downloaded the conversation starters no.
I will try to ask my supervisor for advice.
I don't agree with something you said. I wouldn't tell the bully how his gossiping made me feel. He's expecting a reaction and I would not give that to them. Instead I would ask politely that next time there's a problem with me, they came to discuss that with me in person. Period
Thanks for adding to the conversation. The strategy you use is also a great tool to have in the communication toolbelt.
A reaction is different than a conversion. You may feel upset and communicating that is sharing the impact. :)
Not if the goal is to upset you. I I was your bully and you told me how it made you feel, I’d think “Good. Mission accomplished.”
@@wintermatherne2524 that's what I'm saying
Should we not confirm the person who gossip about us?
Great strategy!
👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
Is it a good ideal to threatening them?
No. Threats generally do not work, and it creates more disconnection
@@tammydunnettleadership thank you I'm just so stressed out because my colleagues are very disrespectful. Their always trying to exposed my personal life when it really isn't their business. It's sad that alot of adults conduct themselves as children.
Sorry for the late reply - your comment was put in the area for review as the site thought it might be spam. I am also sorry you are going through this. If it is not their business, just tell them you are not interested in discussing things right now ;)
Or they feel superior over someone coz they are not in the so called clique coz they are different from them I over heard some people talking about a friend of mine at work saying oh did you hear what so and so did when I over heard it it made me so angry I don't give the gossipers the light of day anymore they think they are so big coz they have a title but in the past they got in trouble themselves hypocrites
If you want a script to say to them that will stop them from gossiping, I have a free download 😊. You may feel less angry with them if you communicate a boundary
Doesnt work..being callwd out made the person more resentful
Sorry to hear you did not have success. I hope you found another route
gossipers are toxic! they definitely won't even talk to you. seeing that you are coming to see them they will just probably mock you and that is it. that's not a good advice.
Have you tried to address it?