Your Coworkers Are Not Your Friends - I Learned The Hard Way!
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 14. 06. 2024
- Your Coworkers Are Not Your Friends - I learned the hard way. In this video, I share tips for dealing with office friendships. Early in my career, I trusted a coworker and overshared. It came back to bite me. I learned early on that office friendships can turn toxic quickly, so be careful when making friends in the workplace.
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Reminder: someone who gossips _to_ you will gossip _about_ you.
Yeah but there's two kinds:
1) Is back-stabbing others....
2) Is warning you of others.
Good luck discerning the difference... One pointer I can offer is that the back-stabber will act friendly to the people they back-stab.
That pertains to anyone. Not just at work. I don't tell anyone anything I don't want spread around anymore.
Yeah I saw one of my coworkers who is âfriendsâ with another coworker on her day off she ran to the manger to tell her how poorly she does her job and how she had to do everything single handilyđ
Facts
Facts!!!!!
Rule 1) Company is not your family!
Rule 2) Coworkers are not your friends!
Rule 3) HR protects company not you!
Rule 4: If it's a family buissiness "You aint family"
@@hamilcarbarca8659 -Rule#5- If the company says "We're a family"... watch out.
@@hamilcarbarca8659 so what company classifies as family then??
@@fargeeks I was speaking about a mom and pop type place such as where I worked. The father ran it and his kid did H.R. You had jokers there that worked there a long time and figured they were part of the "Family". They got woken up when asking for favors or a raise or what have you. That was what I meant.
Friends don't exist. Most family members are absolutely insufferable.
One thing I've learned in every job I ever worked, you're there to work, not make friends.
well the fuck else do you make friends? A 40 hour work week demands your full attention and only Saturday is open to not have to devote everything either to work or resting up for work.
I know, is hard to find friends elsewhere@@generalhorse493
â@@generalhorse493I agree. The best friends I have are people I met at work. I don't work with them now but I met them through work initially.
Proud to be your 100th like
If you don't make a few "friends" you're not a part of The Culture which is worse.
One thing Iâve noticed about the work environment is that if you listen to gossip but
DONâT REPEAT IT, EVER, people will unconsciously trust you and tell you everything, which gives an obvious advantage
đđđ
Absolutely 100%. I worked in a highly toxic factory and got my finger burned 20 odd years ago although I was an innocent bystander in the matter. The company was so toxic I quit the Job. These days, pretty much for the last 20 years I've kept peoples situations at arms length and repeat nothing, it's incredible to see that nobody can get a purchase on you with their petty dramas in the workplace to drag you into it too. I do wonder what these work-place drama queens and back-stabbers are like in their home life.
Yes. Let other people do the blathering. Just sit back, hold your tongue and walk away.
True, but those who gossiped are also watching and plotting against you. Even if uou don't engage. In my experience, it's best to keep quite, play boring infront of co-workers, and only show your true, authentic self to those who matter i.e your immediate superiors. No one else matters. Sad but true. There's a lot of broken, bitter, full of hate and spite souls out there with one objective...to bring everyone else down to their level so they don't have to feel so bad about themselves. As Jim Carrey says, beware of those who can't love themselves, for that way chaos lies... or something like that.
A coworker got fired because one of her FB friends sent a screenshot of her post (she took a pic in her cubicle) to her manager. These women were overjoyed at getting her fired. She learned the hard way that they were NOT her friends.
Lesson learned- I no longer accepted friend requests from coworkers.
Hehhee so true
Never forget. Just because people graduated from highschool ... doesn't mean they graduated from highschool (mentally)
Yes!!
Facts. More like middle school in many cases.
â@@joyjewel748 Lol.
Thatâs how it is in the company I work for now. Itâs the first large company Iâve ever worked for and I didnât realize that it would be the same dynamic. I stay to myself and donât form to a click, and somehow people still talk about me. Even more because I want nothing to do with it. I just come in, work, and go home.
WOW, WELL SAID 100% FACTS!!!
It's difficult. Trying to stay almost robotically neutral vs. wanting to let a bit of your humanity out with people you spend 8+ hours with - it's always a weird balance to strike.
Yeah it's so hard! I feel like you need someone to be real with at work, but you need to be careful
That's why you don't do it. I recently had my first job in an office setting recently and found out the hard way too. I'm not going back to an office setting. My honesty, trust and friendliness is not a weakness. I refuse to let it be. Corporate fakeness and nicety should be shunned. Don't settle for a job environment like that. If you need the money, you should try to get out asap.
One of my favorite quotes: "You don't always get what you want, but you do always get what you allow." If you allow and participate in these kind of fake environments, you promote it. Promote honesty and truth.
Much like social media, the corporate environment is like facebook. It's a sickness and should not be used in place of a real friendship, or in this case, a real profession. And if you're doing it just because it's a job, I would advise to expect more out of your life. It should be a profession, not a job.
Staying aloof is lousy for networking as well, both internally & externally. You have to make personal connections with these folks at some level, as that's really how people advance their careers. Certainly that's how it works in the high-end & senior mgmt white collar circles.
Being judicious with your personal business, and careful with how close you get to people is just good life advice. The error here was getting too-close, too-soon with some guy he barely knew, in a place where everyone has an agenda/history (small towns & large companies alike). It's a common mistake, and can hit us in any context.
@Ismellfishallaround fish you need Allieâs regardless at a workplace. You need someone thatâs willing to give you a seat at the table and SPONSOR you
Well if all your coworkers are robots then you can be robotically neutral lol đ€
The most important thing to learn...
1- HR lies all the time.
2- There is no such thing as an open door policy.
3- Nothing is "off the record.
4- they always screw you no matter what
And if you stay distant they will lie
This video is exactly the reason I hope to never go back to the office. Working from home eliminates so much crap.
Facts!
Totally true. I am fighting this now. Trying desperately to remain remote for this very reason...
No drama and palace intrigue!
This comment is so true
Sounds like the best home relief possible.
( And the ideal H R)
1. Be friendly with your coworkers, not friends with them.
2. Never add or follow them on social media
3. At least 1 person you work with will stab you in the back without hesitation
4. Your employer doesn't care about you, and they probably don't care enough to sort out the facts from gossip.
That's why I see work as funding for my life, nothing more.
This is just brutal thanks for guidance
I was at work standing at the office when two employees were going over who said what to who over Facebook. I told them I don't have social media because I don't want to be talking to anyone from work when I'm off of work.
I got these surprised stares.
Then I got transferred because of the gossip because corporate didn't want to investigate what was going on. It took more drama to be going on after I left for corporate to send a manager from where I was working to fix the problem. That manager came back and told me he would have fired over half the staff then asked me how I put up with all that and said I was one of the better workers he'd seen and tried getting me to transfer departments to work under him.
I declined because I'm done. That cr*p was the last straw. The house is paid off and once the vehicles are paid off I'm cutting my hours. Said I'll be around for holidays, vacations, and emergencies. Which isn't many.
Itâs insane how they will get you to think they are close and trustworthy. People are legit weirdos man
I know exactly who #3 is at my job.
1. Be careful about oversharing
2. Gossiping
3. Negative coworkers
4. Loose lips sink ships
đ
Totally random. I agree with #4, and that is one difficult tongue twister! Say it 10 times fast!
Like how he frames the non-pushovers as "negative co-workers". Typical HR douche. It's probably not a mystery why his underling went and tattled on him, probably felt good.
Co workers are little kids unhappy with themselves so they are broken and empty inside and full of negativity, jealousy, double standards, hate, opinions, sneakyness etc.....programmed robot slaves of the system working from 9-5 thinking that happyness starts with extern factors like status, money, material things that means nothing and its relativ and an illusion create by society.....if your happyness depend on extern factors you will never be because extern factors are endless.
If you are truly happy inside you will love another what shows how many aren't so you get all those points i say....
The more people around you, the more expectations, talk about others, lying, frustrations, negativity, jealousy, double standards, violent, hate, violent, own benefits etc.....
I am happy to live my life alone and have more strength, peace, power, happyness, freedom and time.....no co workers or other around me.....
I'm going through this myself right now. Told my Lead (Leader) a complaint about coworker... and he goes on and talks about it to the Guy. When I said in Trust... for Nothing to be said! ....My Lead is a really Nice cool Guy that seemed Trustworthy! ...So I thought... .... And then it backfires in a way. F -----. I'm so Pissed off right now! Wow.
I think a lot of people in life are not your friends. You only get a small number of real friends in life.
True! I have a total of 3 friends lol. And they're all from middle school. The ones who stick around despite the struggles and situations of life are the real ones.
People are always trying to sabotage you. Never let your guard down
I don't doubt that is your experience. But man, that must suck. I have never had to deal wit that after 40 Years in the workforce.
I worked with a guy who spent the first 3 months with the company trying to be friends with everyone. He learned about peoples lives and interests, everyone liked him. Then he went to the owner and told the owner every possible negative thing he could about everyone and tried to say how that if he were manager he could clean up the swamp so to speak.
He was fired immediately.
Well, that didn't go the way he was hopingđ
What the hell... hahaha he got fired lmao what a stinky lil Dwiight
Smart owner âŠ.
At another job same situation that person wouldve gotten a raise.
@@elliottpaine9259 sounds like you ..
This is why I now just show up to work, do what I'm supposed to do and leave. Had too many toxic work enviornments in the past and made the mistake of being too open with coworkers. I'm polite and respectful, but I NEVER go into my personal life anymore.
Same. People sucks.
â@@mgyrnExactly. I never gossip or start rumours either. Leave me out of the drama.
Same here bud,ended turning against me.Glad I left
Smart!
I usually do sometimes I have the hardest time doing that. Especially when I have a weekly meeting with my manager and they always ask about whats going on in your life.
My dad told me a very long time ago that you can't associate with people you work with, PERIOD. I have annoyed some of my co-workers by not attending events I am invited to attend. I also don't sell cars to people I know. Something I have discovered, if you listen to gossip but don't repeat it people will tell you everything and you can be more aware of things going on around you.
Ehh I wouldnât say period. Just one, thereâs always one backstabber & thereâs always one associate/friend
I'm a Manager. I've come out and told employees, "I'm not your friend. I'm your boss. If we were friends then we'd be hanging out after work. However, that'll never happen. I'll be nice and joking at work, but once I walk out that door I've forgotten about you and this place. I don't take work home with me, and I don't bring my home to work."
It can work the other way around. I was a manager and treated the people under me like friends and respected their needs (Ie: Health and Family First). In most cases that resulted in them being so grateful they would willingly volunteer to stay late and come in on weekends, knowing that if at the last minute they needed a day off for personal stuff, I would be okay with it. It's a tricky balance but can work. You just have to watch out for the "If you give them an inch, they take a mile" type people. They are pretty easy to weed out. But when employees feel like they are respected and not treated like a tool on the shelf, it's surprising how they will respond in kind. I have changed jobs and still go to Barbecues with some of the people I previously managed.
I'm 42 and all I want to do is retire. I've been working since 15. I'm tired of the politics, games and BS. All these videos strengthen my daily resolve to save, invest, and reach my goal to never work for anyone ever again.
đŻ!
đŻ Same!!!!
Yeah good luck with that . They keep you poor & working until you die. So.. Goid luck with that.
How can we invest???
You can start NOW. Become self employed.
It may not happen overnight. But it gets you ready to manage on your own And it gives you cash
I make more money and have fewer headaches.
Employment doesnât get better as you get older
âYour Coworkers Are Not Your FriendsâŠâ
As someone who has no friends in general, I see this as an absolute win.
How
@@DrOrr Simple. They would have no ways to manipulate you.
@@Info-God no i get that I wouldnât âbefriendâ coworkers Iâm asking how itâs an âabsolute winâ to not have any friends at all
@@DrOrr I see. Imo, you can have a friend made at work, but, do no share sensitive info about your personal life.
Or. Have a work friend that does not work on same projects with you. Keep it under the radar.
Even if you do not befriend anyone, but you shared an important detail (like your spouse works but theirs do not) you will be backstabbed like hell.
@@Info-God yeah I gotta remember the talk I make out of work should be different I make at work. I made a lot of mistakes looking back at the jobs I had in my earlier years in the workforce
You can be friendly with your coworkers, but your coworkers are not your friends. That is a lesson everyone needs to take to heart.
I got one rule when talking about people who aren't there. Never say anything behind someone's back that you're not comfortable saying to their face. Trust that word will always reach them, and if it does, be prepared to take responsibility for what you said by saying it to their face and standing by what you said. The rule will help you keep it positive when talking about others in the event you ever have to.
If you have nothing nice to say, just say nothing at all.
Itâs annoying when people try to pull you in to stuff too. Just go, oh really? Hmm I didnât notice that or wow! Just really vague neutral statements and change subject or leave. Unless itâs serious, but when is it ever?
@@brandonnotsowise2640 All of that. đ€Ł
It makes no difference if you're even seen talking to the wrong person
@@CradleEpiscopalian56 Very true. But generally speaking, if you're likeable people won't find ways to haveva problem with you like that~ And if they do? Karma works in mysterious ways, ofc ha ha.
People at my job consider me standoffish and rude for not interacting...and thats fine with me
Same here because itâs a job not summer camp
Or arrogant
It not a dating pool đ
âFckem allâ -tupac đ
They are mad because they couldn't take advantage of you. Most people are just evil. If most people can get any kind of power over you they will destroy your life.
I tell my coworkers the least information possible. They don't even know I'm married, where I'm from, where I live, nothing.
I keep it that way.
You are right and wise
Same. I keep my private life separate from my work life, but all this has done is put a target on my back and made ppl more nosy about me. đ„Ž
Same here. I donât tell my age either. One coworker asked me about it and I just smiled and jokingly said âold enough.â Besides the fact that your age is none of your coworkersâ business, their knowing it can also alter their perception of you and that can put you in a position of disadvantage in a workplace.
@@Mimi-iq4ll I have seen this one happen with men and then one of the admin people finds out they are married and then they wonder what this guy is up to, why didn't he tell people he was married? Hmmm?
Ohh boy. I shared too much then.. I told my project manager that I took vacation to meet my girlfriend's parents overseas
Excellent advice. Take it from one whoâs lived through it.
Iâm a 70 year old retiree who worked in the engineering field for almost 40 years and I canât tell you how many times things like this happened and how many talented people had their careers detoured by hanging around with the wrong people or the dropping the wrong words that were by all purposes innocent.
Donât believe anyone who says they will keep it confidential or can keep a secret.
Even your wife or husband can derail your career train if you were to share the wrong information with them. Iâve seen that too.
Thereâs simply people that are irresponsible, donât care, have no principles, have no filter, addicted to gossip or to often have very bad motives.
The desire to be overly friendly or eliminate loneliness via the convenience of coworkers is truly dangerous direction to take.
Donât listen too, discuss, or be part of gossip.
Particularly watch out for the chummy ones. They can real you in like a fish before you know it, youâre hooked and fried.
Be very careful and listen to what this man is telling you.
My then wife, now ex, became friends with my female boss and derailed my career. She would share private criticisms I had about my boss WITH my boss. I was naive and just blindly expected that I could trust her because she was my wife. Your advice on this really resonated with me. Share your controversial thoughts about your job with nobody except maybe a therapist or a stranger you meet far from home that you will never see again.
I donât make friends at work. Keep it STRICTLY PROFESSIONAL
It always amazes me how grown people act like it's middle school at the work place. Your 100% correct
Life Lesson: People don't grow up, they just get older.
99% of the population requires a regular therapist visit, but like you said, most people mentally peaked before high school even ended. Theyre not the problem, everybody else is, right? Self improvement is work, and 99% of humanity is PETRIFIED with fear of work but lack the scrote to admit it.
Absolutely same experience at my last job. People getting way too deep into cliques too. People thought I was anti-social because I didnât fall into that. I came to work and stayed out of drama. I watched so many women I worked with get into all kinds of ridiculous arguments.
For real grown ass people
I work at a middle school...nothing but wretched gossip.
Rule of thumb. Never have co-workers as friends. Donât be brainwashed by the movies or tv shows. You canât trust co-workers. Never date anyone from your job. When you go to work, keep it strictly about work. Never talk about your personal life with a co- worker. They will use it against you. Just show up on time, kick butt and go home. Keep you feelings or opinions to yourself.
Yea thatâs exactly what I do.
In all my years of working , Iâve never hung with people I work with.
A simple rule for me is, the less I talk at work, unless itâs necessary, is the less back stabbers, will have to use against me.
For some snakes, it doesnât matter if you donât say anything, theyâll make stuff up about you anyway.
Really sad people feel this way, maybe because I'm still in college working part time, but I never really had this as an issue
I have to keep the fact that I lowkey love russia
đŻ
@@UltimateTS64 just wait you will. That is how the working world is. Don't learn the hard way.
Job interview red flag: we're like a family here đ . Usually means every one is like this. Drama, gossip and peer pressure follows đą
That and 'We believe in work/life balance'
I feel like saying 'What? You believe it exists or that it needs to be tipped in your favour?'
Or were the truly fanily first company and family is first before work LOL yeah maybe for mangerment and owners but for the advage worker its not its used againt you with your personal life is unstable
Ive mastered the art of saying a lot of nothing. Its such a helpful tool.
Another sad reality of the workforce is those who are low-key, hard-working, honest, and put in 100% and mind their own business will always be overlooked and any shred of bad performance or flaw in their character is a huge black mark for them, yet you have people that are charismatic, outgoing, confident, natural leaders, and kiss ups with the boss that do minimal work and get away with it.
đŻ
That's why we need good leaders like you to step up and lead.
Sounds like a reason to be more outgoing and confident đ€·ââïž
This is very true. As much as I disagree with his principles, Machiavelli is right.
@@bryanrodarte5205 Could you elaborate on what you mean by "Machiavelli is right"? I want to learn the reference.
You know what's worse than having people talking BS at work? Having the leadership team know about those idiots and doing nothing about it but allowing it to happen!
Cuz these idiots are the sources of information/intel for the management team
I'm glad my HR team is nothing like that
You'd think the lesson would be cleaning up a bad work place, and not "office gossip is bad". Bad management is bad, an unhappy work place is bad.
Because they don't care! As long as whatever is produced continues and they aren't being bothered, they don't care. Someone wants to be a boss for the power and the pay. Not to advocate for anybody else.
đđđđ this comment! I am so sick of management KNOWINGLY allowing trouble makers to disrupt the workplace! That's the main reason I ONLY work for places that are unionized. It's called a hostile work environment, and you can file complaints and get managers fired for ignoring it if you're in a strong union.
I received Manager of the Year my first year as a manager. Totally unexpected. My coworker âfriendâ who was also my mentor stopped talking to me after that and told other people that I didnât deserve it.đą
Seen that crap happen several times. Some folk aye.
I am an alcoholic with almost 8 years dry.
I used to come into work hungover and would tell my coworkers I felt horrible and needed to stop.
They ran to HR.
Didnât get fired but got in trouble.
Still breaks my heart that people are willing to act lovingly when theyâre not.
NEVER tell coworkers ANYTHING you don't want your boss to know. It is WORK. Do not get drunk, do not tell them you do drugs even if it's legal in your state. Speak to them like a client.
anything you say can and WILL be used against you! if they dont need to know...they dont need to know
@hlb0111 I say the less you speak to them at all (ESPECIALLY if it's not job-related), the better off you are (but, then, I've never really been a people person, anyway)!
â@@octoman_games My late father used to always tell me that the less people know your business, the better off you are.
@@thomasshort1784 the old guys had a lot to teach. So little time
Yep.
Seen a coupke of people disappear after getting too drunk and mouthy at the annual work social event.
I have avoided them for the last decade.
When engaging with coworkers, there is one hard and fast rule I always try to stick to: DO NOT TALK SHIT WITH YOUR COWORKERS. People who are willing to talk shit WITH you, are also willing to talk shit ABOUT you. If a coworker comes up to me and starts saying something negative about another employee, all I do is nod and continue on with my work. I don't engage in negative talk.
Absolutely true, negative talk is the most important thing to avoid. We all have negative thoughts about what goes on at work, but in talking about it the wrong way in gossip, it's always like a personal attack against someone who thought it was a good idea, or is directly responsible for it. Train yourself to see the positive in everything, atleast just to get through conversations with colleagues.
I totally agree with you 100%. Never Trust your Coworkers as well.
VERY wise wordsâŠIâm the sameâŠnever talk negatively about anyone at the job as it can definitely come back to bite you.
Also realize that even if you donât talk negatively about others, depending on the level of toxicity in the personâs personality, he/she MAY say that you said things you didnât. Take some time observing people awhile before engaging at all.
right on, its not your problem, half the time its someone fishing anyway
I have a coworker who worked with me during the Lockdown. We ran our grocery storeâs food delivery service and went through hell together. We are have become old war buddies. When my husband died, she was the first one I called. When bad stuff goes down at work, she stands by me and I stand by her. You can trust some of your coworkers.
That's a sweet story. I have two good friends of mine who are husband and wife, old enough to be my parents, who run a donut shop I worked at for over a year. They are like family to me and we all have a lot of dirt on one another. We could definitely rat one another out if we wanted to, but I would never do such a thing :)
I learnt the hard way too. In my early years as a manager, I confessed a weakness to a coworker I looked up to as a kind of big sister, only to find out later she had told my CEO, and asked him to sack me. Thank God he knew better.
I later had a friendly coworker I shared same office space with who gossiped to me about the boss, and asked what I thought. I simply told him no comments
This is why remote work is the best. You do your job without being dragged into drama or unnecessary forced interactions. Strictly professional and polite. Clock in, do your job then clock out.
I agree.... I have been in the same situation as this video. Since switching to remote, I rarely talk to anyone unless it is about a project or work related. No personal or after hours meets.
I've done remote work. It's just as gossipy.
Remote work can be just as bad if not worse. At home it's easier to send someone a quick "off network" message
Well the thing is remote jobs are now harder and damn next impossible to get nowadays
@@aaronharlow2137 Must have been an extremely toxic environment to have leaked over to remote.
My No.1 rule for work-related social events: show up, nurse 1 drink, make polite chit-chat, leave after 1 hour.
If you pay attention, you will see that's exactly what leaders, execuitives etc. are doing.
Good advice. I donât drink at all.
I never learn , I always stay until all the alcohol is gone, no talk just drink, itâs talking that gets everyone in trouble, no small talk either,
That is if you 'must attend at all'. Some work cultures demand that you make a showing. If the work culture of that job doesn't expect it then it's wise to not even be there.
Just tried this the other day and it worked well
Even better just don't go at all.
I was fired from 2 good jobs. Both times a female coworker pursued me and when she realized I wasnât going to do what she wanted she told a bunch of lies to the boss and got me fired. And both times the boss just took her word for it and didnât even ask for my side. It can be easy to get sucked in by these girls if youâre not getting the attention you desire at home. Watch out guys!
In my previous job, I did my best to get along with everyone and everyone seems chill. After I lost my job in April, only one coworker reached out to me for support, nobody else did. I would only consider that one coworker as a real friend.
Sounds normal. đ
â@@d.p.9567That's the norm--- in Corporate America
I lost my job a few months ago and I thought I had built up a great relationship with some of my coworkers and was hoping some of them would reach out to me because itâs been pretty depressing and stressful. Not a single peep from any of them. Lesson learned. Also, donât add any of them to your social media accounts.
So true!
If you're going to have any social media you have to keep the real ones confidential and hidden, and have ones specifically made to be found by HR people doing research.
@@phantomspaceman Very smart. I keep my FB set to private.
@@Cyko.. I blocked all my coworkers on Instagram and of course my account is private đđœ
yup
A supervisor taught me early in my 20âs to watch what I say and do around coworkers. He had been betrayed in a similar way like in this story. He basically said âI come here to work, not make friendsâ.
Bingo. Good advice. Doesn't mean you can't be cordial and professional. That's all that's required of you.
It shouldnât be like this and there should be more protections for employees. And people who throw their coworkers under the bus deserve the same thing to happen to them times ten. I was betrayed in my job while in the middle of a short term disability claim in which I was working with a colostomy bag after my colon perforated and I was in the middle of a life altering medical condition. Letâs hope there is Karma for these evil individuals with no compassion or conscious!!!!
But when you do that, they consider you anti social and ostracize you and start rumors about you. I guess that's better than allowing them to have dirt on you.
@@pearleaton4933 so true.
@@pearleaton4933 But why do you care what they think? They're nobodies, just a bunch a yahoos you have to work with to....make money. That's ALL work is for (note I said "work", not "vocation")...earning a crust.
No one is a friend. Everyone will do stuff to suit them. Just humans
Anything you say, can and will be used against you.
Apparently that goes for being antisocial too lol. I could be a NPC with what I say to my coworkers. "how's it going?" Or "oh im not too bad"
A coworker is a âsunshineâ friend. When things are going goodâŠ.no problem. But the day you both need the same day offâŠ..there goes the relationship. Be kind, be helpful, but donât tell them your business.
Yes, Iâve always heard it referred to as a âfair weatherâ friend, but I definitely agree with you.
Same thing happens when both of you are working for a promotion, but you got it.
coworkers are tornadoes. They can make you lose everything in an instant.
@@allthingschanice2485 - Being in the Military, makes it that harder.
Say it louder for the people in the back!! Yes and yes. đ
I worked with a woman who I thought was very nice. She gave me rides home when my car was messed up, and I divulged some personal information to her. It turns out that she gossiped about me and told all of my business to the workplace (and likely twisted some things too). I ended up confronting her about it, and she went to the GM and tried to get ME in trouble, and SHE acted like the victim. It was awkward working with her, and thank goodness she and the other gossipers ended up leaving about a year later, so nobody else at work knows (high turnover). Keep in mind this woman was in her later 40s at the time, and I was in my late 20s. These types of people never grow up.
Good for you for confronting her.
Maybe she had thyroid problem
Tbh the older ones are the worst.
Itâs always the older ones that act childish. Trust me I understand!
No, just evil. Stop making excuses for bad behavior.
That's why I go to work, do my job, only interact if it's a requirement, and go home.
note to self...keep mouth closed...eyes open and ears open and mind focused
Through my 30 year career, I never associated with co-workers outside of work, but admittedly slipped up a few times. There were two people I thought I would keep in contact when I retired since we had a very good working relationship. I was surprised when both ceased contact with me. Yes, people you work with are not your friends, they only communicate with you at work to pass the time.
I knew a couple of retirees that when I seen them and asked did they keep up with their buddies and the answer was a flat NO. I mean these dudes were always talking, hanging out etc. I was about 28 at the time and learned fast co workers are not your friends
@@jarvisaddison8560 Iâm 28 and just learning that aswell even when you get befriended itâs usually due to ulterior motives
My understanding, and experience, is that coworkers generally represent nothing more than "situational friendships." That is, they may simulate friendship during temporal moments on the job, but outside, the dynamics are often radically different. The emotional ecology one works in is definitely worth carefully examining in order to safeguard one's collective well-being. Having effective personal boundaries is absolutely critical and indispensable! At work, one is better off regarding one's private life Personal & Confidential, as anything beyond small talk opens up uncertainty and risk. Regrettably, trusting HR and/or management is unsafe. What helped me tremendously was consulting an Industrial Psychologist, as they have a deep understanding of industry and its underlying dynamics. I was able to successfully complete my tour-of-duty and retire early.
@@9gje9 Spot on bro
Iâve experienced this a few times, I reached out to a few ex co-workers after I had switched jobs and they outright ignored my messages. Was pretty disheartening. Thereâs one I used to hang out with outside of work regularly and he now claims not to have time for me (was happy to use my PlayStation account thoughâŠ.I took this back and changed the password) yes, I learned the hard way co-workers are not your friends
You have to work with the people, theyâre not friends. Christmas parties are especially tricky. Even though youâre having fun, youâre still at work, and you have to face them Monday morning.
My mom taught me something in my early 30s. Go to work, do your job, shut up, get your paycheque, and go home. Words to live by.
Thatâs wild, I still hang out with people Iâve worked with. Maybe you just suck ?
or maybe you re just an idiot that can t grasp that there are good people and shitty people ?@@UTP_ENT
@@UTP_ENT Why would you say that? Just because you're lucky enough to have decent people to work with doesn't mean that everyone else can
@@UTP_ENT Brilliant reply! đđŹ
Your mom was a wise woman.
Never met an HR person who ever did me any favours.
I am so glad you brought this topic up. I can't tell you how many times I had to tell friends that their coworkers are NOT their friend. It helps to keep boundaries in work relations. You avoid needless drama, hurt, and frustration.
Heres a lesson for young people. Never tell any co worker anything you dont want your manager to know. It doesnt matter how much you trust them.
Point exactly. It will come to the point in the future, when the true color reveal and show the other side of the coworker trust and backstab the coworker that's close to him/her.
â@@Renzo_AnimeI know what you mean.
I've experienced this from a pimpass Judas
DO NOT associate with coworkers outside of work! I have been invited out after work and have politely declined, stating that I don't drink. It is best, if possible, to keep work and personal life completely separate.
Drinking booze with coworkers is a bad idea.
@@shootingbricks8554It is a very bad idea.
@@shootingbricks8554 bruh.......exactly but as soon as you do that you're label as outkast and you will start getting bad reviews or performance. I am in this situation.
It depends on the work environment. Sometimes socializing with them keys you in on important information you may not get at meetings or work hours. But in these cases, itâs best to let others do the talking. But I agree that itâs best to limit socialization.
And don't befriend them on social media either! It only gives them ammo to use against you
I have the same story. Only I invited a colleague to a bar and over another glass of beer I said that I was tired of a lot of work. A couple of days later, I found out that he had told the boss about everything we had discussed.
The best thing i learned as a security officer is to just stay out of everything like a fly on the wall and say the absolute minimum. "Hello." and "Goodbye".
You can be friends with co workers but you have to respect the fact that what you tell a work colleague you are basically telling everyone.
There is occasionally the person I meet at work who is more important than the job. True friends. Most people are just acquaintances. I'm pretty careful about what I say to them.
AKA coworkers are not your friends
A glimpse of what co workers do in your presence is what theyâll do behind your back.
@@jmwichert8842 I would argue that at that point the person no longer becomes a coworker and becomes a friend who you happen to work with. but you can really only do that if you explicitly understand that the relationship has changed. anyone else is still just a co-worker that you are friendly with.
And to avoid that I just avoid being friends with them outside of work simple as that. I've been screwed over a couple of times by people I thought having my back, thought nothing was wrong, then boom I'm in the HR office for some bullshit
My coworkers are predominantly pieces of shit, and yet I have to keep reminding myself of that. It gets dangerous when I forget.
That's the correct way and the only way. Say nothing, collect the money, and move along đđ
#Fact
I really wanted to hear this
I also needed to here that !!!. Meet you at the water cooler
Don't work for Home Depot.
In your lunch break go for a walk, if your early sit in your car, if you dont need to work on clock out on time. Work every situation to benifit you. When you get home change your clothes. Separate work and home instantly. Work should be secondary to home life.
I have learned ... and been advised (which is how I learned) ... to never speak, or communicate in any way (text, email, message, phone, handwritten) ... ANYTHING you do not want to get back to anyone ... on the job OR off hours with anyone you work with, or anyone who knows anyone you work with. Always protect yourself, and be professional. And if someone is "needing" you?, i.e. confiding, gossiping, asking your opinion about someone else, etc. etc. etc. ... TO you? Remove yourself from that situation, and from their presence. You're the only one who can protect yourself, your job, and your career.
You can be friends with co-workers. Just follow one simple rule, only say things to them that you would say directly to whoever it is you are talking about. This works well when talking about anyone in any situation.
Yup. One of my good friends was actually my work manager/boss originally so a healthy, long term relationship with co-workers isn't impossible you just have to be wise and deserning about it but that true of all relationships.
Yup only say about a person what you would say to their face. It's the honest thing to do. Otherwise you are the one being the gossip.
Especially when they offer a nightout having a few beers hooing you droo your guard
Exactly, and if you do find yourself bitching about someone to another person by mistake, go directly to that person and appologise, Ive done it before, ive said hey mate, Ive been having a shit day and someone baited me into bithcing about things and the topic got onto workers, I try hard not to be involved in that kinda shit but i was wound up and made a mistake, I said this about you and i want to appologise to you directly as i made a mistake, ask for forgiveness. Ask if theres anything you can do to help them out. Some of my greatest friendships in life started this way. Honesty, openness and admitting when youve ducked up is what gets rid of un necessary departments like HR.
i mean in his story time he said something that he probably also coudlve said to the person it was about easily. still the words got heavily twisted and the situation got out of hand which is the problem almost always
This is 100% spot on. Many try to establish a âfamilyâ atmosphere but that is always vulnerable to drama and conniving.
Not disagreeing with you or anything but families tend to be Dramatic too
So true. Donât ever believe the âweâre a family â speech. Watch your back.
@@ericeandco "we're a family" is just made up crap they say to milk more work out of people and set them into doing extra work and extra hours for the pay.
Whenever they say that, it's a set up, walk away when they flash that exploiter's red flag right from the start.
My anwer to that is always "i already have a family back home, who actually care about me. Not going to trade the little time i can spend each day with my family for work."
Yes, weâve seen a lot about the family work environment on Instagram lately and I feel like more people are finally getting it
Facts. And if you really cared for these people youâre the one who gets hurt. Especially when you realize they never really cared for you at all. Or if they did, they believe the narcissistâs lies and were manipulated into turning on you. At that point they just like the way you come in and work hard to make them look better.
you don't have coworkers as friends, you have friendly coworkers
A woman at my last job became a really close confidant. We shared many of our darkest secrets with each other as we were very similar and both had really rough childhoods. She started to become really jealous when the boss showed me preferential treatment. I could understand because she was honestly a better employee than i was. Her jealousy became so toxic that she would start doing really annoying things at work, like blasting her phone ALL day long. It was driving me crazy so i texted her later that night and offered to buy her some headphones and was really nice about it. It quickly escalated and she threw some really personal stuff that i told her at me as a jab. It was then that i learned the hard way to never, ever tell anything personal to a coworker. Never again.
Best advice at work is come to do your work, be positive, mind your own business, listen more than speak, thank people for their help, get everything done, donât criticize co-workers, go home. Iâve learned the hard way about over sharing. I will never tell anyone at work anything about my personal life ever again. I just finished my first week in a new position & my anxiety is thru the roof.
You said it. The most toxic people are the ones who can't mind their own damn business at work, I have noticed.
Yup I will be glad if I donât become a human in my next reincarnation because all us humans are very twisted with their opinions and cause me so much anxiety. The only good thing our human vessels make is art in all its forms and video games and âfakeâ worlds.
That's the thing I'm doing right now, I don't like to talk about my personal life, I just go there to do my job and when it's time to leave I go home.
Most people have to have a bad experience before they learn to do this. This is why it's so good for teens to get working ASAP to learn these lessons before they get into their career jobs.
@@MCSkyscraper-MCExoticEurasian I have had the same thoughts. I think I want to be a bird in the next life or go to another planetâŠ.
A good rule of thumb for me is coworkers are potential allies or potential enemies, but very rarely are potential friends.
This is the best way to threat it like đ
Curious George, how long have you been in the working world?
@@BOSSDONMAN 39 years. And you?
You can find a good friend at work but its rare.
Yep, and IMHO that's especially true for a newbie in a small town culture, where 'everybody knows everybody else'... and they're fond of 'gossip'.
Yeah, if someone asks you how you feel about the boss, you should know it's a setup. The best response, in my opinion, is that the boss is fine and switch up the conversation. There's no need to even go further than that.
I've learned this the hard way! I am always friendly & am also an oversharer. đŹ I've learned that EVERYONE at my job gossips. EVERYONE in the building- Even in other Departments... From my Co-workers to Supervisors to HR to the OWNER of the company!!! I am forever pegged as the "WEIRD" one because I choose NOT to engage... Smh đ
33 years as an tradesmen, taught me 3 lessons.
1) Watch your back Jack
2) Mind your own business
3) Work issues stays at work, home issues stays at home.
And my pro-tip of the week: Always keep notes in a little black book for reference, or take photos of your work or work jobs/cards etc...
A picture is worth a thousand words especially in the trades. Solid advice
Your pro tip is good. Document, document, document.
You are SO right about the documentation. Bang on.
Great advice! đ
As someone entering my first job ever now; this knowledge is golden.
The video and comment section here actually made me realize I'm just dumb and starry-eyed about people. I really had no idea.
So thanks a ton for the tips. I'm staying out of trouble.
As a teacher, the school building is RIFE with gossip. You gotta be very calculated in what you say and to whom you say it to. Trust no one.
I wholeheartedly agree with you!
I hate gossip, especially in the workplace. I've worked fast food and retail, so I've experienced LOTS OF IT, and I thought, " At least when I graduate, I won't have to deal with immature gossiping." I'm teaching next year. đ
Yes
I worked at high school as well. It was constant gossip and a negative environment. A lot of it didnât really interest me and didnât fit in. So I basically quit, I came to the realization that those obviously have nothing better going on with their lives.
@notgonnaargue8986 it ain't finna get no better. I've done retail, fast food, banks, custodial, and now teaching. I eat in my classroom or teammates room. I never eat in the teachers' lounge. It's bad for your mental health.
This is timely. A coworker who asked me out (and I refused) has started sending me emails pointing out tasks that I haven't done on time. For some reason, these emails all have our boss as cc. Go figure.
So true. Ugh. I hate working. How nice it would be to not have to work and deal with co workers, direct reports, and bossesâŠhow nice it would be to not know any of them.
Good one. Just live by ourselves would be great
I work in an office of all women mostly under 40. The boss tries to make us a family, hypes up the culture of the business and I hear the other workers all joking, laughing loudly together, hanging out in hallways and in the parking lot before leaving at night and I'm just like "nah"- I'll be friendly, smile, will engage in some small talk, but won't socialize at people's homes or hang out at work. I keep my cards way close to my chest and offer very little about myself. One bad exchange absolutely can become a thing.
That's the gist of it. I'll be friendly but we're not friends.
I said something that soon got me (said for a + on purpose) Then that person caused a stink.
I then let them know this was all about who can you trust and not about fact. You failed. You will not get any heads up about when the next Shiza and the fan are about to be turned on.
The bosses that sat in and agreed with the other side of this also got canned, later on. The complainer got canned before I retired.
I also knew someone in HR and did it with his blessing. WE both did the same job before working there.
I warned them. It would catch up to them. Was not my 1st rodeo.
Itâs actually a really sick and dysfunctional thing for bosses to call the work team âfamilyâ. They arenât. They would replace you in a day without batting an eye. Youâre so smart. Your gut already told you this.
Rule No.1 man everything stays at work. I've had people joke and laugh with me then I find out they went to the supervisor behind my back. its SOOO sick!
The company just bought 3 tables at an event where there was an open bar. Because I am on the Board of similar organizations, I went to the event. Did not drink- saw multiple co-workers sloshed. Just shook my head and smiled. Sociable and friendly, but not friends. đ€·
My husband and I were having arguments at home about how much I should be working when the kids were little. He decided to confide in his coworkers about our conversations. I tried to tell him not to do this because I had already learned the hard way. Later when raises came up they told him he didnât deserve a raise because he could afford for his wife not to work.
At this point does not matter who is right and who is wrong. it is clear that no one should work for in such company at first
Wow thatâs pathetic. He should have gotten a raise regardless because life can throw at you cause you to lose everything.
Time to find a new job
Sounds like that was a few years ago but I hope your husband has moved to a better company. Corporate greed and the rat race for pay raises is truly evil.
@@ijustfelldown corporate greed definitely exist, imagine getting a .27 cent raise for top performer , and the worse performer .23 cents ⊠and the big boys getting the bulk of the raises⊠it hurts specially when you sweat your butt off to get that extra money.
When I stopped putting my whole identity and worth into my job I was much happier.
I have friends outside of work, I'm close and have good relationships with my actual family, and I have hobbies and things to do that I love outside of work.
It's a game changer ESP in leadership.
Great video! â€
The worst thing about gossip is the idiots that believe what they hear.
Learned that in the military. The higher rank you got the fewer "friends" you had and the more polite enemies you got. As soon as you jump into the SNCOs ranks the smiles are mostly fake and the knives are very real. It was a heart-breaking lesson that made the last assignment of my career absolutely miserable.
One I will make sure my children understand that lesson from go.
People absolutely suck.
Humans suck. Everybody on their own. There's no kumbaya.
Especially Democrats.
Don't remind me. My fellow officers were backstabbing like crazy
@@LeutnantJoker that was the only point of honor in the Air Force in the SNCO ranks.
You always wiped off your knife before you stuck it in the next guy's back.
What happened at your last assignment
Long ago, a very wise man gave me some advice on interacting with coworkers... "Keep your business and opinions to yourself and don't tell em s**t."
Bruh.......exactly and when you do use a sniff test to root out the gossiper or informant
Facts
Very good Advice!!!!
Was that wise man a wiseguy by the name of Jimmy Conway in Goodfellas?
Very wise man
After a lifetime of struggling to find a career or even an open door, i finally found truck driving. I loved it. My friend was near destitute so i hooked him up with the company. He totally blackballed me and next thing i know, i was out and curbed. Thats a tough pill to swallow
The problem is when you relax and let your guard down. That's when I make statements or comments I regret. Don't share too much. Sometimes negative people will befriend you just to suck you into their vortex of despair.
1.) If you are genuinely a good hearted person, don't give your work colleagues your all, until you know who does or doesn't deserve it. This could take you awhile to figure it out so take your time.
2.) Don't gossip, don't let anyone know what you're thinking and always bring a positive consistent attitude.
You don't want to be labeled as a gossiper, you don't want something you say used against you and no one likes to work with someone who is an emotional rollercoaster.
3.) Do not take anything personal. No one is out to get you, a bad coworker would treat you the same way as any other person. Their behavior is not about you. It's about their insecurities.
4.) When you are working, learn as much as you can. Don't squeak by doing only the minimum. You are only hurting yourself. Knowledge and experience is what demands the real dollars. If you're not learning at work, find a new job or learn something during your free time. Time passes whether you are learning or not so you might as well utilize your time effectively.
Thanks!
As to ur #4 rule, my number 1 piece of advice, especially to older people, is always have bluetooth headphones with you. So you can always be listening to something that u can learn from, or even something entertaining will make ur work day fly by.
@learenng1267 I needed a bit of a refresher. Thanks for your comment đđŒ
The 4th comment does not apply to us retired person who works part time! I make up by lifting heavy objects! đȘ
Great stuff here, especially #4. Let your company pay YOU to learn skills. You can use it to become more valuable at this job, or the next one.
Your Coworkers are not you friends! Never reveal your plans and always move in silence.
You must work with so many horrible people.
You are so right about everything youâre saying! Iâve had the same experience, whereâtheyâ lure their coworkers into situations or conversations with a nasty agenda to sabotage- make themselves look better with the boss- but it betrays their untrustworthiness. Once theyâve done this Iâm wary of them forever.
It surprises me how a boss cannot see through their backstabbing, not a team player narcissistic personalityâŠ..
great advice!
Be honest and cautious. Donât over share ( I do )đą work hard and keep a good reputation.
Control what we can and keep integrity because it all comes out in the end đđ»đđ»
If you tell one person anything, they all know. Keep conversations light, positive and uplifting. Smile and be friendly.
It really is that simple isnât it ? Good advice
@@ctt7971 A pastor said that once and it stuck.
I was fired from a 4 year position as a security supervisor for mentioning something to a co-worker that I shouldn't have. I thought they were my friend, but they wanted my position and passed the info on to my boss. I was shocked how fast a person I was on good terms with for years turned on me. Tough lesson to learn, but it helped me ultimately.
Yup they all just want your job. Even tempsđ
Had the same situation happen to me. It does suck to not have friends and be a robotâŠbut after that experienceâŠI donât talk or connect much with my coworkers other than âgood morningâ and âhave a good nightâ. Iâm specially on red alert because Iâm the only guy in a team led by womenâŠand without knowing peopleâs backgrounds or whatever they do and specially living in a blue state, I donât even say what I did on the weekend when they ask because it may be churchâŠand that may unknowingly offend someone đ. So just keep to yourself and be robotic but donât be an ass.
My restaurant job just hired a trans⊠and I fear that I could lose my job âŠam I angry..of course.. but if I get paired up with Mr pronoun⊠I may quit
May there be a special place in Hell for them.
That punk is a snitching and sucka
While HR stands for Human Resources they are not there to help you theyâre there to protect the company.
They are insurance for management
They stand for ( and against)
Home Relief
Really excellent advice here.
When I lost my job of 3 yrs in 2020, I was out of work for about 9 months and I found your channel.
I am now 2yrs in my new job and very happy here. Thanks again for your videos that helped me prepare for my work "relaunch".
Never ever share personal matters with colleagues (relationship status, age, political interest, financial advice, personal wealth, personal affection) đ u will never know if all that will be used against u like double edged sword when relationship turns sour, we are living in a crazy unpredictable world
It's not just at work. It's EVERYWHERE. You have to be very careful -- some people are flat-out delusional. You tell them something innocent; they twist it, then spread their distorted version to everyone who knows you. And if they are evil, they will make up things. They may even accuse YOU of doing things THEY did. Staying away from them sometimes isn't enough. They can lie about that, too.
I know it sucks to want to vent or relate some event but have to bottle it up. As according the rules of gossip and rumour mongering whomever you speak to is obligated to embelish, twist before passing on.
How do you know my ex wife?
Exactly!
Exactly. If you tell HR to set the record straight then you're seen as a litigation liability. WTH?
Someone once did that to me.
She turned another team member against me for literally zero reason. That was my first and hopefully last contact with someone who is simply evil. Just nasty and destroys people for laughs.
âCoworkers are not friends. They are acquaintances! â
I learned the hard way too and got traumatized even until now. Be polite yet distant, friendly yet guarded against all workplace people. Trust no one.
What happened?
Yes, especially those who are not in your own department you must watch what you do and say. I've worked most of my working experience at a casino and there are many different departments that just don't seem to like each other. If your a man, it's best to not talk much to females at the workplace. I've seen so many male workers get written up and sometimes fired from complains from females in the workplace. Don't know if the complaints were valid or not but I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't.
I'll never forget the co-worker who had a look of hatred in his eyes when I revealed during lunch that I oppose the public financing of campaigns under "campaign finance reform."
Back then, I thought people of different political persuasions could still be friends.
I was wrong then (20-25 years ago), and it's no doubt worse now.
During my annual appraisal, my manager said that I could trust others more. I laughed.
1. Why would I trust the people who've stabbed me in the back?
2. Why would I trust the people who I've seen and heard gossip?
3. Why would I trust the managers who've lied to me, yelled at me, stolen my ideas, and took credit for my work?
That's asking me to commit career suicide. Trust is earned.
And for Pete's sake DON'T LOAN THEM MONEY!
Yep, I learned the hard way as well. Back stabbers, power trips, jealous, blame it on someone else and narcissists. I decided to do my own work as a freelancer.
Wherever there are people, there will be problems. No matter how nice you are or how good of a worker you are. Some people not all, are trouble makers, and they like to cause problems for other people. Not just in the work place, but every where they go.
My advice is to always keep to yourself and NEVER open up to or trust anyone in the workplace. Every workplace has at least one insecure person. Learned this the hard way too. Just ignore people, do your job to the best of your ability, then get the hell out at the end of each day.
Lol
How boring. I bet you were the loner back in school too. Am i right? Please answer honestly
You must have a very sad life if that is your advice. People spend most of their lives at work, you have to be a really antisocial individual not to make friends at work.
@@theostragonidis7548 Sorry, but no. You choose your friends in life, you don't have them inadvertently thrust upon you when you start a job. I don't quite understand your need to comment simply to berate me in such a way. Did it make you that much happier?
@@chris101gray3 I'm really astounded by the sheer amount of antisocial people like you, who have the most ridiculous outlook on life. When you were in school, you also had people "inadvertently thrust upon you", did you not make friends there too? There are decent people everywhere, if you don't want to make friends where you work that's fine but don't think it's normal - it's not. People make friends at school, at university, at their jobs and at their retirement homes. That's what's normal.
Yeah, well, that's how they brand you as "the weird one". The only thing I found to be effective is to put on your psychopath suit. Act friendly and caring, always guard your tongue, and manipulate anyone who tries to manipulate you.
Also, gather as much dirt on your boss and company as you can. Notice every discrepancy, especially if you found out that they've underpaid you. Use an app to clock in your hours for yourself if you get paid by a hourly rate so later you can compare the two to find any discrepancies. you should still clock in in some situations. For example, in "someone's" case where a fixed monthly pay was deducted by hours missed but not balanced with extra time which instead of paying the 100%-200% for, they decided to add 50 extra monthly hours as part of the global pay. What they did was illegal in my country in so many ways, that I'm not even going to try to start to explain it.
Now, that SWIM (someone who isn't me) could've told this to their boss and get the payment sorted out but then fired a few months later for some bullshit. instead they waited until they wanted to quit, made said boss fire them so they get the larger severance pay, and the monthly unemployment payments (they basically pay you 75% of your calculated monthly average, each month for 6 months or until your find a new job).
However, the best part was that they filed a complaint with the company for underpaying them with that illegally unbalanced monthly global, and demanded pay for all the hours they weren't paid for. Now, in my country, a personal timesheet (even one that's written by hand in a notebook) is evidence enough. The employer has to prove the employee was lying by providing timesheets that show a real discrepancy (not a few mistakes or tiny differences measured by minutes), and if the employer has none and tries to falsify them, this can be easily tested and once caught, they'll be charged with fraud, so no one in their right mind will try that move to try fool the system. Obviously that person wasn't lying, so the employer can't do s**t about it, so now the next step is on the employer. Unless they want to pay the full 500% extra to the employee (basically, the fine for not paying your worker on time is paying them an additional 500% of what you owe them) they'll have to argue their case at the national labour court, to get them to lower the 500% additional payment, which they'll most likely get lowered to somewhere between 25% to 100% which is what happens in most cases.
So, you see, this is exactly why some employees try to be fake friendly and gather info from co-workers and be friendly with the boss to make them slip and say stuff they shouldn't have at the company day trip and again at the company dinner (which was then used by said employee to make their boss agree to their demand to fire them, which btw, their boss was the CEO of the company no less, lmao), because if they don't do that, someone else will do that to them, since almost everybody at work always tries to gather info on everyone else to be used as ammo for personal benefit, or as in my case, used as insurance against those who want to screw you over.
Its so crazy how common it is for weird individuals to pretend to be friendly with you to get information out of you. This happened to me before when I worked at an average warehouse for a big company. Some girl was super friendly to me and asked me about the boss and I said he seems really nice but I feel like heâs gonna be strict on me for some reason but he seems like a good guy and she went and told the boss that I didnât like him and he wasnât a good boss and he came to specifically told me to stay away from her because he knew I wasnât the type of guy to gossip and say negative things about people (I keep to myself) and he immediately transferred me to a different location in the warehouse away from her. Its weird how these rats like to mess with the people who donât want anything to do with the drama lol
If you are the type of person to do so, I think you should have confronted her and made her squirm and seethe and extracted whatever explanation you could from her, and from then on, make some time every now and then to rekindle your fight with her and just continue to wear her down in the most malicious way you can.
It works especially well with girls who arenât exactly going to fight you lol, but you do have to cover your asss from harassment charges. So be careful of that.
Moreover, you know where she works. You can find out more.
In my view, it is equally important to repay debts and grudges. Just donât let it take up too much mental space, and learn to enjoy what I told you to do so in moderation. People can become obsessed with revenge and its important to avoid that
You're lucky your boss is smart
Yep women are the worst especially insecure ones. Eventually these people get theirs.
Youâre stupid for confiding in a female at a work place
That boss sounded like a standup guy, saw the bullshit and didn't jump to conclusions and punish you.
I've seen this before. And typically these backbiters will take what you said and inflate it into something you didn't say. They seem to have nothing better to do.
I learned that the hard way too. Work is workâŠschool is schoolâŠand non close friends are non close friends. I learned to keep things short, sweet and neutral, or to not say anything. There are so many maladapted people out there with tons of unresolved problems, low self esteem, envious, insecure, evil, etc just waiting for you to say anything just to twisted around and use it against you. You can be nice without getting involved in anything or say anything about anyone or anything. It sucks that we have to worry about such nonsense, but thatâs just the human condition, unfortunately. đŹđ đ„Ž
Do not treat work like highschool. Many people live boring lives and dont want to grow. They need excitement in their lives in the expense of others.(drama) Remember work is for a paycheck. Others treat it like a social gathering. Age doesn't Equal maturity only wisdom can do that.
damn good advice.
Amen
Words of wisdom.
Probably the wisest comment to be found on CZcams really.
According to this, I should treat it like high school because teenagers do a lot of this crap more thannost adults I have ever met.
Fell in love with a long-time coworker, but was getting over it...I sent her an artsy birthday card, very nice, not overt, but it went bad..Ive never been so disappointed in someone I thought liked me, even as a friend.
Im having hard time at work, sarrounded by Narcissists,gossipers and toxic charactors, no matter how hard i try to work with peace theres alwys dramas and my name is talked bad behind my back and they all expose each other ,
And i cant escape
I made the mistake of trusting an HR person when they asked me how things are going. I mentioned that my frustration was due to a lot of red tape in order to get something done. Next thing I know, I get called into a meeting with my boss stating that I'm not a good fit for the position. Taught me the lesson that no matter what, never complain about anything to an HR person. They are snakes.
Donât go to HR with your problems. They will solve it for you, but not always in the way you want.
Don't go to HR for anything but problems with your direct deposit, questions about benefits, and other banal matters. Outside of things like this, in almost all cases, they won't help you anyway.
Brian, I really appreciate your content and straightforwardness. I would of liked to have someone like you working in one of the companies that I have been employed with.
You should go to your HR person and propose to them.
In front of your boss.
The HR lady at my job is kinky and a walking red flag. I stay clear of her at all costs. She volunteers too much information about her personal life. Then one time she asked my coworker if she was dating anyone. My coworker said that she is married. HR lady just responded "so I guess that's a no for dating" đ€Š
â I don't trust HR, nor direct deposit