People can "Fake" empathy, I believe. They can say the comforting words, because it is expected..to be normal. (to fit in) But they really could care less.
Agreed -More like faking sympathy to get you to believe they are empathetic- however if you are close to them or spend time with them and are paying attention- because it's true that they 'could care less' that they trip up and can be found out.
agreed to that. i fall in the empathy faker category. i don't want the other person to feel stunned if i don't show any reactions to him, so i pretend..i speak with a sad voice and all this shit to get them to believe that i feel sorry for them. but deep down. i don't even care if the world goes on fire. and yes. my best friend is aware of it. iam so happy that he doesn't see it as a deal breaker, knowing that essentialy, i mean no one harm, and there are worse people out there than just a nonempathic person, least iam not a criminal or something
If someone fakes empathy they actually do care because they are trying to make someone feel better, if someone didn't care they wouldn't fake feeling sorry for someone because they don't care. I think someone can lack empathy but still care about other people
I know "nice" people just like this and sure. They'll give the proper social response. For me they're fascinating yet so frustrating. They're operating from scripts. I wonder what made the human parts of them die? You can share the most heartbreaking story, and they'll just sidestep it with "that sucks" and go on talking about the weather.
@@TheBigdog868 it can be either trauma, or something you're born with. But we're still human. Not a psychopath, no, but sociopaths do still *feel*. Just not the same as everyone else
@@TheBigdog868 I get where you coming from. But you know what it's really hard. Like I would most say thats sucks I'd try to say somthing useful but like if you have never experienced it's even harder for some to feel anything . Like I had to call an ambulance for a person i know very well. Thru were hurt but I didnt feel anything. I Helped and went through the motions . But shit its not like we can help it.. it's scary
My father just passed away 5 weeks ago and it seems like 95% of people just say: "Sorry for your loss". Only 3 people were willing to sit down and let me really talk about it.
We can't tell how close you were to the others but it sounds like you have 3 gems in your life who are supportive and truly care. Kudos to them and big hugs to you on the loss of your dad. We're never really prepared to lose the ones we love and it hurts so much.
Jillian Mac Knight Some people genuinely feel your pain but do not know what to say sometimes. They probably still would have let you talk about it and actually listen. 😊
Thats real life. You cant just expect everyone to talk about it to you. Don't want to sound harsh but the truth already is. Don't be sad about please, that's just plain silly
Villainous Vigilante that's not true. Most humans do have empathy. If u right now got stabbed standing on the corner waiting for a ride and people saw, are u saying people wouldn't give a shit? That's a fucking lie. That's not how humans operate. I think it may be u who lacks the empathy sir. We don't know what to say about a death unless we personally knew those involved, if we don't know, we can't say anything more than "I'm sorry for your lose" and yes majority of the people do feel sorry. It may not fuck up their day, but it'll be a memory. It's u with the problem, not humans
I knew someone who would share his thoughts and how he felt about virtually everything with me, and I always sympathized and tried to help where I could. But when it came to my father dying, I was trying to tell him how I felt I'd needed a few minutes with my father before he was zipped up in that horrible body bag. And I got this reaction: "What did you want them to do? Put him in cold storage for a month so you could look at him?" I was shocked. I'd trusted the wrong person with my deepest feelings.
@@cinder1989 Thank you for that. Yes, I did cut him out of my life, but you know, it still took me a while after that to do it. I wish I'd talked to someone at the time about it, even come on here and got the advice of people like you. Just having others agree with your inner suspicions is so important. Otherwise, you thrash around inside yourself wondering if it's you. God bless.
you are so right I was praying so hard to rgain my health and he laughed and told me that God would never help me this is my husband he is verry cold yes feel all alone am finished with this situation
I totally agree with you but I was so debilitated I coulnt see or even swallow or stand up from a tick bite it was horrific and I was dying and he left me alone there in the room I wouldnt do that to an animal or a stranger or anyone but I met someone at a fair and he held my hands tight and told me to pray and I felt something so strong in his beautiful energy that I decided to pray and now I am on my way to recovery never felt good enough to pray felt god was too busy just asked for strength it is so nice to hear from someone who takes an interest in what others have to say and I feel you care @@hellfire92837
I’m not arrogant or selfish. I just don’t care if something bad happens to you. But my parents always taught me to be kind and help others so I do. However they say I’m being disrespectful when I try to tell them how I feel about something so I don’t tell people that their loss doesn’t matter to me.
Lack of empathy is when someone makes fun of you when u are in deep hurt and pain from deep abuse you have experienced. They tell u to shut up and get over it. I dumped that person immediately. They did not know it because I just went ghost. U go no contact period. This behavior is reprehensible.
not necessary. i lack empathy, but i don't make fun of other people's feelings, because i care so much about not looking like rude or asshole. so i pretend that i care. i pretend that i feel bad for what they are going through. but deep down i don't.
I lack empathy, but it's less of a "I'm gonna make fun of you for this" and more like a "Jeez that's too bad😐.......... Welp, I'll see you later." When my grandmother died I only cried once and years later I now feel a fraction of what my mom was feeling at the funeral. I looked at her dead body in the coffin, I saw her the day she died, I saw her the day before she died, I saw my family's reactions and they were devistated. But guess what. I felt NOTHING. And I regret not expressing my love for her like a normal person would, but I still love her. I cried once then, and few times recently. Mainly because I was sorry that I didn't have the personality to show her how much I loved her while she was still alive. I couldn't help it, it's just the way I am.
Omg what kind of monster doesn’t react when someone falls in the road, spills their stuff and cuts themselves! Put your things back in your purse girl, and run! Sociopath? That’s someone you don’t want in your life.
Sometimes, someone MAY feel empathy but doesn't 'know' how to express it. Some people have been taught not to show emotion. However, I find that I can pick up on a lack of empathy from someone 'in my gut'. Even in everyday circumstances. And some people know what society 'expects' them to react in certain ways and so they fake it. They do this to be liked.
Thank you for this comment. I definitely have empathy, but I'm really bad at expressing it. I just bad at expression in general. Although I think you shouldn't judge people based on your gut instinct. It's not always right.
I was with my ex for 2.5 years and i saw many times that he lacks empathy but i will NEVER forget that one time when I cried infront of him because i had a fight with my mother and he just sat there and he was accusing me and make fun of me and how i cry. In his eyes I saw evil and coldness and i was so scared.. I never felt somethig like this, like he is not human.
When people treat you that way, treat them with compassion in return and you'll see that those people actually possess empathy and the ones that still behave the same way you'll know are true aspds or psychopaths.
Maybe they thought you weren't hurt. Like when you fall over and people will laugh unless you're like "fuck I'm in pain" Unless it was emotional pain then my bad
I had a close friend years ago who lacked empathy. I didn't know it then but thanks to all the social media and videos I know now. When her grandpa died, I expressed my condolences and baked her cookies and was there showing I was sad for her. When my grandpa died, she did nothing, did not even express her condolences. She just wanted to drink and forget about it and not even hear me talk about him.
Whilst being clue less is the natural response. I still ask “Can I do something for you ?”, because often times Idk what to do and am not sure of how to make the person feel better.
Long ago when I was about 11 years old I was riding my bike with a friend. We were in an unfamiliar area with condos. I turned the corner and I slipped on gravel and wiped out on my bike! A woman came out of her condo and invited me inside to help me with my wounds. I had really bad boo-boos on my hands and knees. She sat me on her kitchen counter and went to work. She meticulously cleaned the gravel out of my wounds, cleaned my wounds, disinfected them, and bandaged them up. She was so kind and gentle. I never felt so cared for in my life! Thank you mystery woman angel from 43 years ago!
Yes, you put it perfectly when you said the lack of empathy does make you feel alone. It’s very cold and gives you the feeling that you’re not worth their trouble. Thank you for your videos:)
I dated a guy for almost a year who lacked empathy. He told me on more than one occasion that he didn't feel like it was his responsibility to act in such a way as to prevent hurting others. He said if he said or did something that hurt someone else, their reaction was their responsibility, not his. Another example is that early in our relationship, I bought tickets to see an 80's band which he said he would like to see with me. I was very excited to see the band play. Many months later, the concert drew near. We were no longer romantic, but had stayed close friends. He was in a long distance relationship with a woman who regularly came to our city for work. The day before the concert, I texted him reminding him of the show and he texted back that he was going to take her to the airport, so he wasn't going to be able to make it. I told him that I didn't appreciate the last minute ditch. I told him it was too late to find someone else to use the ticket and that being ditched like that was hurtful. He responded, "Well, I don't know what you want me to say." It never occurred to him to apologize because he could not put himself in my shoes to understand how it felt to be basically stood up. I didn't go to the show because I didn't want to go alone and the club was in a very sketchy part of Seattle and I didn't feel safe going on my own. A few days later I made the decision to release him from my life and honestly, I don't miss him one bit.
Is that normal ? Does it make me a bad person if im not empathic with another person ? Am I being mean then and am no longer empathic ? Sorry for the ramble 😅
Yeah I think empathy towards a person can change a lot depending on how someone views that person, it doesn’t mean you’re completely apathetic but in almost all cases I think there is virtue in trying to see things from the point of view of another person, even if they hurt you
I was telling "him" that someone was ordering items in my dead son's name...My son has been dead for 3 years... "He" knows my son died. ...He didn't want to be bothered by what I was saying.... He said he didn't care. He wanted to report about his new cats.... I am not interested in seeing this person again. It means I will quit a support group that I had invited him to....
No empathy can imo be beneficial in terms of career progression, competition in sports and making money. But it is only beneficial to the individual. However the human race could not survive without empathy as a whole. Its essential for building communities and caring for elderly and children.
When my father passed away after a long battle with dementia, my neighbor hijacked the conversation by telling me that her father-in-law died from dementia as well. Then, she basically told me at least my dad didn’t die suddenly and then I got the easy grief. 🥴 months earlier when Mom signed the hospice papers, another friend of mine and I met for dinner. It had been a really tough day. When I told her what was happening her response stunned me. She told me that her bartender friend’s wife had been laid off and that she was going to bake bread to make homemade pickles to comfort her.
Orixá Rose it’s amazing how the patterns emerge so similarly. I’m sorry for your losses and the many times those close to you were not there to see, hear, or understand you.
Wow! This was VERY enlightening! I've always "felt" empathy so strongly, that when I've run into people that obviously DIDN'T, I just found it too hard to BELIEVE, thus I went into DENIAL (in my belief system) that they could/would really BE that uncaring about others, unempathetic! I am just NOW starting to "WAKE UP" to it all!
Great video. They don't feel. Harshly so. Run and don't look back. Being with someone like this is like being in a roller coaster ride without the seat belt! 🤣
As someone who lacks empathy, I want to share about my experiences empathizing with people. As a lot of people point out people can fake empathy, and I do that very frequently. I know what to say, I know what the person wants to hear, but in reality, I could care less about their problems and just want them to shut up about it and move on. I don't get why what's happened is such a big deal to them, or why they can't simply move on and accept it happened without needing a connection. (even when they talk about good things that happen in their lives I find their reasoning meaningless and it tires me) I recognize I'm not normal in this sense. I say comforting things and that I understand so I don't come across as strange or insensitive. However, I don't make fun of people who are sad or who need to talk to someone, I'm more than willing to talk to my friends about their problems, but whenever they do I always find myself wishing they'd stop talking since I always say things along the line of, 'It's okay' 'I get it' 'That really sucks, I'm sorry that happened' And whenever people notice that I'm slightly out of it when talking about someone's feelings or about their problems, (ex. I get kind of slowed down, tired and even physically exhausted) I always end up saying how because I'm really introverted I get 'people tired', or social. exhaustion if you will. If you happen to be reading this I'm interested in your opinions on my lack of empathy. Do you think there's something wrong with me? That I'm sick or psychopathic? That I am giving people 'red flags' and am an inevitable danger to society? Or that I'm just narcissistic? (I feel I should also mention it's become somewhat of a problem, I have an emotionally needy friend who frequently talks about her problems and needs advice, but as I've known her for around a year and have had to 'empathize' more than normal, and almost on a day to day basis I get more and more tired of hearing about her problems and find it increasingly difficult to even fake it. And it almost makes me angry and frustrated whenever she starts talking about her problems, knowing I'll have to say the same tired answers)
Hi @Shy Regardless of whether you are being sympathetic or trying to creae an atmosphere of empathy for a friend- it is asking a lot of someone to listen to the same story repeatedly.
Hey😅 I feel sorta similar, but more in a sense that I just don’t know how to resonate with other peoples problems. So I find it hard when people get emotional around me and I don’t know how to act or what to say. I am also increasingly beginning to lose my sense of empathy, and it’s not that I don’t understand how bad the problem might be, I simply just can’t feel anything. And usually find the subjects boring and want it o move past it.🤷♀️
I'm the same as you . I have aspergers and it comes with a lack of empathy sometimes. I act like I feel something, but the truth is , I don't and depending on the situation I might not care in the slightest. However I react in the expected way, because I know that it is the right thing to do. I rationalize others feelings a lot in order to be able to give the expected response. I cannot feel what others are feeling, but if it is a really bad situation and I know the person, I can logically understand why they feel the way they do. This does not mean that I do not care for others at all. I can feel afection towards others or value their role in my life. I'm someone who values the things others do for me. If someone helps me a lot and seems to value me and my friendship, I'll be loyal and do my best to help them back. I have a very strong moral code that I stick to no matter what. Sometimes its quite hard to navigate this because I can slip up and have the wrong response if I'm in a mood and later, when I'm feeling normal again it can clash a lot with my moral code. So I feel guilty. But it is a guilt more related to me, as if I have failed myself. The only way I'll have a bad response is if you've hurt me in any way.
I enjoyed reading your response. And I appreciated your deep level of honesty on your inability to care about another person's feelings at times. Even highly empathetic people can definitely experience that after repeatedly being exposed to the same trauma again and again. I think alot of medical workers are experiencing this right now with the pandemic and the high number of deaths and suffering. Sometimes there is a need to pull away and recharge ourselves with something enjoyable and affirming before we can begin to feel and express our empathy again. It's like recharging a battery or power source. So, almost every person on the planet does know what it feels like to not be able to feel or be empathetic at times. And we can then sometimes even feel guilt when that happens to us. Empathy for me is easy to compare to a physical touch. We all (I think) benefit from a pleasant soothing physical touch. It creates a connection and a bond between people. It tells you that you are not alone. But instead of being a physical touch, empathy, for me, is an emotional touch. We feel the other person's feelings for a moment and we care about those feelings with them. And frequently each person then leaves that moment feeling less alone. Feeling connected to another in a way that is beneficial and soothing. It lessens and weakens pain and shares joy and strength. I wish you could feel it. I think you might enjoy it if you could experience it. Those of us who do feel it consider it a very helpful and important part of human interactions. However, we all have areas in life where we lack one thing or another that someone else has. If you are able to feel joy or accomplishment and satisfaction... If you can experience curiosity and wonder or fascination, then you can still have a great and rewarding life. And as long as you are able to live your life without causing enormous suffering for others, you deserve that freedom to experience all the good life can offer. You may not be able to feel another person's pain or joy and they may not understand why you don't/can't. And things might get awkward and uncomfortable sometimes because of those differences. But I do hope we can all try to understand that we don't always get to choose everything about ourselves. And we should try to show kindness to one another frequently. It has the power to make all of our lives better in so many ways.
The fact you are asking if you are a sociopath/narcissist is a good indicator you are not. We all can have narcissistic tendencies though. Bring overwhelmed by others could mean you are a sensitive empathetic person. One who may require meditation, to find inner peace after other interactions. and find your own internal stronger boundaries. Narcissistic sociopaths don't give a lic at all about anything, or anyone else, but themselves.
yeah. i can't feel empathy. when someone is hurt, i don't feel a thing. but i only pretend that i feel bad for them. just to look normal. deep down i don't.... i really really hope i was a normal person
HI @JJ maybe - there are many who lack it these days- childhood trauma etc. Also hyper reactionary things like sensational media etc can wreak havoc on the central nervous system and make some shut down. Maybe we build that back by starting with kindness.
I hope people understand that compassionate people are like drugs to people lacking empathy. We both have to learn to live respectfully apart. It is unhealthy to fill in the gaps for people who suck you dry. These posts clearly show people bragging about a lack of empathy. There ARE amazing people who work on this and succeed..this is the purpose of life..to connect, share and love. People who don't want to learn empathy skills deserve each other.
And what makes you think you are the supreme authority on what is the purpose of all life? And why do you think you have this divine knowledge to be able to say who is or isn't worthy of others? Maybe you had a terrible experience with someone who lacked empathy, maybe you had many experiences like that, but it doesn't make sense to put ALL people that have less empathy than you would like in the category of horrible and mean people.
@@rittov320 they can be pretty dangerous tho, since they don't care so they would abuse others for own gain. They can live but I prefer them out of my life. You need to respect that.
Absolutely. You feel cold and you are on your own, especially if you are dating someone who lacks empathy. This could be a very toxic kind of relationship.
ZHERO ZHERO those are usually book empaths. They love the idea of empaths. I’ve meet many. They intern turn around and ridicule you and treat you awful and then say they are the victims. They use the the empath language to gain victims. True empaths are true gifts in your life.
Wow, during Covid my young nephew with type 1 diabetes was set to prison. I was a complete emotional wreck. I was both mentally physically and greatly suffering emotionally. My g/f of 7 years was literally stoic and very cold to me during this time. I eventually fell into severe depression and I ended up staying in the spare bedroom for months in the dark, hardly ever coming out. During this time she apparently was having an online affair. When I confronted her about it she said she wasn’t and it was my imagination. I forced myself into recovery, and the minute I was able to take care of myself I threw her out. It has only been 30 days and I’m still in the recovery process. I am now dealing with the reality of what a frightening woman I was living with. I could never see someone suffering as bad as I was for a minute, none the less over 8 full months. She was so calm and cold at times it was as if she wasn’t even human. I must never forget this horrific experience. I could have died.
Sorry, but I'm very frustrated with this, because this is how the vast majority of people view empathy. In reality, nobody is empathetic from the start, NOBODY. We ALL learn it. I'm autistic personally, so because of that, I can have an understanding for others who are autistic, while I don't agree with everyone, I can still understand them. In the same way as "normal" people can understand each other. What's happening is that the majority which is functioning "normally" put that as the baseline. So when you come across someone who functions differently, someone who responds differently, or doesn't know how to respond, you call that a red flag, and "wrong". Now, BECAUSE people think it's just wrong, they'll dismiss those people, further alienate them, push them away from society more and more, instead of actually wanting to understand them, help them in any way, etc. I, as someone who is autistic, and hell, most of the autistic people out there, WANT to understand "normal" people, be incorporated into society, etc. But for the most part, it's difficult, or other times, not even possible to live a decent life when you don't function like the average human out there. So the "lack" of empathy you are talking about, is actually what you yourselves are mostly at fault for, because you just think everything that deviates from what you expect is "wrong". This is also why autistic people many times are considered to have TOO much empathy. Many of us have meltdowns and shutdowns for a reason. We're not allowed to be different. Stimming and doing other things to ease our sensory processing issues is "weird" or disrespectful, and people will move away from us because of it. How are, not just we on the autism spectrum, but also other people who have had fucked up childhoods, other mental disorders, etc, how are we supposed to function in society, if society doesn't want to understand us at all, but rather put a "wrong" stamp on us and hope that someone turns us into "normal". Autism for one, brings many good things, the most common being that we usually do much better within fields that we like, why can't this be used instead of pushed away? How many people that are pushed out of society could actually benefit society greatly if they were just allowed to?
its like im telling myself "theres nothing i can do so why do i need to feel like that,i don't like that feeling" so i just keep a poker face everytime because im selfish...i put myself first than other people..i don't care about their problem its not like i can do anything about it..i have my own problem..thats why i realized that i only feel a bit of empathy with people that i know or just hang out with in general.
You really demonize people like this here. It's not like they are monsters really. I for example most of the time feel nothing when I see a tragedy or when a family member of a friend dies. I know what they feel but I don't empazhize with them. But if someone tripped in front of me I would help them up. I have neve eand will never comit a crime. I have my moral code. But it's not based on feelings or empathy it's based on right or wrong. I would help others right in front of me becaude they need help and not because I experience the same as they do. It makes life in these times far easier. I'm glad I don't have to experience terror and panic when a terrorist attack happens for example. People like me are not wprse people we often just had experiences that changed us forever.
Thank you for the comment Damonplay and sorry for the suffering you endured. Demonization is not intended- just awareness. There are degrees of these things and it seems you are on the positive end of the spectrum.
+FinelyRevealed Ok thank you. As I said it depends. We can still have morals through our upbringing. It gets problematic when children that are like I was have no one to teach them about it. Then only the punishment of the law can prevent them from comitting crimes. Unfortuantely there is no reversing this process without a very long therapy and with time you actually like this state. It's hard to explain but you are getting used to it and then you think hiw can people always be so emotional and let those emptions guide them. It seems really negative telling it like that but when you experience it first-hand it's totally different
Dämonplay It depends. You can not feel empathy either because you haven't experienced those feelings or because you literally cannot experience those feelings. If its the latter it means you are a bad person, a narcicist or a psychopath
I can relate, i often find myself understanding how people think/feel but not really feeling for them. However, a lot of morality rests on how people feel and perceive life, and if you can't feel that, how can you tell what's right and wrong?
HI @Lorrie - the answer would be yes either way- you take the advice to get away or you accept the situation and if the other person is not autistic or otherwise affected such that empathy is diminished or not there- then your odds are increased that you are or will be abused. The good news is that you know and so now you have a choice.
I may have too much empathy. If there's such a thing? Dear God I fell and broke my tailbone and ankle and my husband never helped me. It was over a year before I realized that he hadn't helped me.! Whoaaa! This is odd that you're describing my life. Whoa!!
I have been where you are now so I absolutely can relate . But please try not to blame yourself for taking so long before being able to perceive, process and finally realize the very difficult truth - that for some reason what you thought was a loving relationship actually was an abusive one.😔 Instead please be grateful and proud of yourself for having the inner courage and enough self-love to write your feelings down and communicating them to others.Well done! You have now managed to take the very difficult but absolutely necessary first step towards healing and a life with truly loving relationships💖💖💖
I was talking about my brother and my verbal and emotional abuse from my narcissistic mother. My mother-in-law didn't say a word. Not an ounce of compassion. I hate that about narcissists.
Ouch! I know its 3 years later when I found this. But wow! I'm so sorry you went through this. It IS ❤ breaking to hear. I don't think i'll ever understand or even be okay with some people's no-reaction-at-all response to tragedy or negative circumstances in someone else's life. I can't help but feel bad or sad for them. I feel a natural desire to lift them up again. Turn things around for them. My mother and 47 year old brother are without empathy. Its just outright crazy how they are so self-absorbed, yet completely not self-aware. Unaware of others rights or feelings too. I hope life has been good for you since your accident dear. Thanks for making this awesome video. Merry Christmas and God Bless you and yours. 🎅💗☺🙏👍
Every person I know who lacks empathy doesn't laugh to the point of tears or outloud for a minute or two, is normally a smile, and go back to serious face. The only time you really noticed enjoyment is when something bad happens to someone else. It's a 😏 smirk face. Now, I avoid people with no sense of humor because that is a big sign of a miserable person.
I had a person tell me we don’t know or can’t tell if a person has empathy because it’s personal as to what you feel, but this pretty much debunks that. I agree you CAN tell if someone lacks empathy. (Even if that person is a public figure.)
The problem is that narcs show fake empathy. For example, that guy ignored you when you fell down. But, let's say, if that same guy worked in a company, in which you would work as his boss/supervisor, he would run to help and show emotion! But as soon as he gets promoted above you, and then he sees you fall, he'll ignore... And, sometimes people show you kindness and empathy only because they want something from you or get your position and not because they just want to help. So, it's easy to see when someone has no empathy right away. But do we differentiate and know when someone is being fake or being authentic when showing empathy?
Hi @g yes with the same person and multiple examples of the same type it would seem to be easy. It depends upon the nature of the interaction and number of contacts and of course awareness of these behaviors which is what these examples are trying to show.
This is fascinating, I have asperger's, I can be taught how others will feel in a given situation, based on what I know I can to an extent try to predict how someone will feel, but I cannot feel it. I cannot feel as they. It is interesting because you are more proof of the fact that I differ from the masses. I can feel emotion based on very serious things, but for more trivial stuff it doesn't kick in, not to a large extent anyway.
lol, i know people that have these problems, they dont reveal themselves to strangers, and they hate having a medical history reveiling them, ur just confused, people who lack empathy are scared people
I'm in a relationship with someone I think is a narcissist (after studying this for a year on CZcams), but I also wonder if I am the narc? And I got worried...because from all my past trauma sometimes I don't feel empathy properly...but then sometimes I do. Its kind of like my empathy has been mixed up quite a bit from being yelled at. I'd really like to delve deeper and figure out if its me or him who lacks the empathy. This is so confusing and does feel like black ink spills over your life and you can't see the clear pages to know. I am also addicted to watching these videos on youtube...scrambling to find answers.
Sounds like you could use some counseling or at a minimum some space from this person. Until you separate you will continue to have these types of questions because you are being influenced. There is a test you can complete - google it and it will help you. Good luck to you @latte !
Pls dont listen to people who think you have some personality disorder. Its known people with mental health issues will project unto you. You said yourself you feel empathy sonetimes. Truth is to feel bad everytime something bad happens to others can be draining. Youve been through some things so you filter what you empatise with i do it too otherwise id be a daily emotional wreck. Nothing wrong with you dont overthink it, if your bf is pointing fingers it may be good to separate from him to see things clearly. Goodluck
Historians who researched the atrocities of the Nazis and Communists came to the conclusion that their number one personality trait was a complete and total lack of human empathy. "Evil" is also defined as a total lack of human empathy by criminologists.
I'm a diagnosed antisocial/psychopath (cluster B dark quatrad) and truly have a Vulcan's emotional response to basically .. I was born this way and am coming out to say that we exist, a lot of us aren't criminals and are just quiet recluses, I work nights just to get away from any public.. But many of us, me included can be Shakespearean in our acting, especially in the empathy and feeling dept..all for our gain tho..
Uno Carb I'm diagnosed with ASPD as well,but my diagnosis isn't because of a different brain structure like with you I suffered horrible abuse when I was young so I'm a sociopath. I can have more emotional depth but we're pretty similar emotionally. You should visit Quora it's a answer site ,there are a couple of psychopaths as well I also write on it. You should check it out if you're intrigued.
Hady Swag You are extremely ignorant and you have no knowledge of psychology. He's not a criminal because he didn't break any crime,do you even know what a criminal is? Antisocial personality disorder is a variant brain structure that some people are born with,it cuts of some emoticons and blunts the other's. Go open a book on psychology or stop talking about things you don't know.
An example from wider society of just how undervalued empathy is: Meet any person in a social situation, and as soon as that person becomes interested in you, the question which is sure to follow any other is, in 99 in 100 times, "so, may I ask, what do you do?" That question is an implicit attempt to measure your value as a human. We don't ask "what was the last charitable act you did to help others?", or "so, may I ask, can you think of an altruistic behaviour which you exhibited recently?" No, it's - what's your value as a human to others, and the answer which will mostly impress, or otherwise, has little to do with empathy. If you should respond something along the lines of - that you clean the local toilets for a living, but in your spare time you love saving lives - the reaction you will get will be one of pollite bemusement, and then they will be sure to move on from you, to speak with another, at the earliest opportunity - even if you've just been entirely truthful. I must say right now that I highly respect people who devote their lives to helping others, but I don't feel most do. For most, it is likely true to say one's status in earning power matters to others, in a way that one's dedication to saving lives (or just about anything else!) doesn't quite match. But don't blame me, I didn't make the rules, however I sure did notice them...
devote their lives to helping others. Some people will get their photo's taken when giving generously. The rest of the time, they wouldn't donate a dime to a bum.
There's a lot of social engineering going around - that's a main reason why there's so much narcissism and borderline sociopathy, which diminishes someone's ability to feel empathy.
for people who lack empathy, they can learn it with time, but it's not always taught to you when you grow up, depending on where in the world you grow up. countries lacking empathy a lot: france, north korea, pakistan and norway, to mention some.
I was going through finals in school, working on the weekends and had a daughter to spend time with. Him: you make time for everyone and everything but me.
I definitely can not feel empathy on the same level as other people from early childhood. Doesn’t matter what situation is. Doesn’t matter who is it. You don't understand me, but I don't understand you at all either. People like us are also needed in the world, we have our advantages. Without narcissists and sociopaths human civilization would not be so successful in all respects. We are not “broken” or “ill” as people try to present, but rather another version of the norm. We have always been. We will always be.
Actually to me, there are 3 traits can to consider. "Understanding" anyone can do even psychopaths, sociopaths, & narcs as it is necessary for any human in order to be successful at either positive or negative manipulation (if you can't understand them, then you can't manipulate among other basic human traits). "Sympathy" is imagining or knowing how someone could be feeling & feel for them to a certain extent & "empathy" is actually the ability to feel with the person even if not the exact same experience, but they can relate to the same level of the emotion whether it is being so happy you cry, so embarrassed you feel you may die or tragically heartbroken.
I have been studying NPD for a while now, so, I have gotten better at discovering them and ot has helped protect me from more abuse. However, what is sad, is that some people who arent narcissists also do not seem to have enough empathy for others. Not to the same degree as someone with NPD, no, but they arent the kindest people, either.
Wowitz Expert You do; if you didn't, you would feel sorry for not having it, because you would personally believe that there was nothing wrong with not having it. (Which there isn't)
Autism. Lack of emotion. Lack of communication. Lack of socialization. Lack of sensation. Lack of progression. Lack of interaction. Lack of vocation. Lack of relation. Lack of navigation. Generated by anatomical differences of the brain thus immediately blocking these processes from happening between them and neurotypicals. Thus making the autistic mental patient entirely incapable of eating and driving and looking and breathing and empathizing/sympathizing and growing and developing and fashioning and learning and other things that are strictly for neurotypicals only. Kids suffering from autism spectrum disorder have epileptic seizures. They are degenerates. They lack a perspective. They are hollow inside with no feelings and no morals. Autism is the number of symptoms in youth suffering from antisocial personality disorder. Individuals with antisocial personality disorder or in better words autism spectrum disorder classify as psychopaths and sociopaths. They were made autistic by genetic defects or brain damage
Thanks for contributing @Colonel yes, there are a variety of conditions that can contribute to lack of empathy among other types of traits or lack thereof.
Not everyone is going to get the importance of this message. I just want to say thank you for making this video as it helps me to reflect on some things.
I think I lack empathy, but not too extremely. I can feel the grief of others if its caused by the loss of someone they loved, because I've been through that myself. But before experiencing the loss myself, I don't think ever felt really bad when I heard someone lost someone. I knew what happened, I knew they must be feeling really bad, and I also knew that I should feel bad as well.. and so I tried to act as how anyone is supposed to act in that situation. But I don't think I felt any real sadness. On the other hand, I can easily cry if it's for animals. I can imagine their pain more than that of people around me. Yesterday, a friend of mine told us that she has TB.. and it was shocking. But, I didn't feel anything while my other friends were genuinely worried for her. I too, ofcourse, said words of care but I'm not sure if I felt any worry. It's not like I don't care for others, I really do, but I just can't feel bad for them most of the times. And this is something I really want to change about myself. I try to be as nice as possible, because that's the right thing to do, but it still lacks emotions, especially because I can't fake my facial expressions or the tone of my voice. I wish I could change. I read a comment where a person was saying that it pisses them off how someone lacks empathy. I just want to say, bro, it's not by choice.
HI @Park Thank you so much for this. When we share we can spread understanding and through understanding come together. We are preparing a video on helping cultivate empathy and how we have different types of empathy. Watch for them and hope they help.
I'm in the same boat, except worse. I feel horrible guilt that I don't feel the sadness people around me have and I feel very disrespectful. It happened when my grandmother died and it happened again today when my grandpa dies. I had respect for him and he was a nice grandfather but I just can't seem to express what other people do, I cant cry much like other women and even men in the family do. The sadness almost immediately passed away and I picked up my phone to play a game because what else? I'm of no use of comforting others because I can't sympathize with them. So here I am looking up what the heck is wrong with me. To be quite honest i doubt i can do anything about it. I was like that since childhood..
Have you ever actually tried to research and develop your empathy ? It’s reasonable when people are confused and upset by someone else’s lack of empathy, just because you struggle with an undeveloped part of yourself you can’t really put the fault on others for being surprised/upset/ confused at behavior that doesn’t seem right.
I have lack of empathy and I just don’t understand people’s emotions. I recognize when people are sad but I don’t feel sorry and deep down I just couldn’t care less. In reality I have no strong bond with anyone including parents, my friendships are shallow but yet again - I don’t care. I express no empathy, sympathy or compassion unless people expect me to, then I fake it.
I only give empathy to people because I want something out of it. I’m quite the same to you, I only do so when people expect me to. My grandmother died and I remember my mom crying I understood why she was sad but I felt nothing. When friends are talking bad about themselves or are sad, I only cheer them up because I have to, not because I feel empathetic to do so. I fake a lot of emotions, I can be really witty and funny, just so I fit in and isn’t this dull shell of a person. I tend to lie and manipulate people, I feel only a slight bit of remorse when I do so. I often overextend events in my life to make me more interesting. I’ve done this many times before, I really liked this twitch streamer so I decided to make a seperate account to bully them and use my main account to come off as the hero. I can almost lie my way out of everything situation I am in. Or make me seem slightly better if I did something. For example; I hit my sister as a act of anger, I managed to manipulate and lie my way out of getting in any trouble, my sister got into more trouble even though she hardly did anything. But something I don’t understand is that I show such compassion to animals, and cried when my dog died more so then both my grandparents that died in the same month. This girl who’s mother had died stole something from me and I couldn’t care less I got angry and felt so much hatred for her, and I still do even though she had just lost her mother. I never cared I felt no empathy towards her or anything. I often will give things to people in need only because I want to make myself look like a better person, it isn’t a act of empathy or anything.
I think having an ability is superior compared to not having it. Like having sight compared to being blind. No offence to anyone. I'm not saying it's fair either. If you don't have it it's not your fault.
Good video. Only change I'd make is when u spin in the chair at the beginning is that next time have a cat in your lap stroking it with a grin on your face. Then it's be perfect. Lol goid video tho thank you. I hve a ex that I have a little girl with and her lack of empthay or sympothy is very very scary.
I don't have empathy, only if I want to. And because I'm good at maintaining everybody thinks I'm very very empathetic. I don't know why but it annoyes me so much that most people are crying all the time. I just want fo fit in and play my role. I even mirror yawns.
Good examples but most people know very well if they are with someone who lacks empathy, for the simple reason that they feel like shit when they are with that person.
I literally have no empathy, and I realize it. Even the people I am closest to and love so much I don't have much empathy for. I don't care about how others feel unless I see them actually cry, and I also don't care about things that do not affect me at all. However, I know how to be nice when people are sad or if they're hurt even if it does not seem natural to me to do.
well it's like this,we all CV h3n through something,whether I ts been physically abuse sexually abused, incest,everyone been through something,and they are dealing with their issue,they might not know how to deal with certain situations,so you will have to be understanding and patience,everyone have they own issues ok,and it's called forgiven, because no one is perfect.
While it's good to see you are aware of your lack of empathy, someone like you is the last person I would go to with a problem or for understanding. My default perspective on someone like you would be to view you as a cold person and having gone through many personal tragedies, I tend to call out cold people on who they really are and I don't hesitate to let others know who and how these people are. I basically go to "war" with cold-hearted types.
not a huge fan of how this video (or some of the comments, at least) seem to be villainize people with low/a lack of empathy, pegging them as people who can ‘trip up’ and be ‘found out.’
Luke bennett was your childhood ok or did something happen during your teen years? one thing I'm learning is no child is born to hate. I myself loved my lil brother but from the lack of love from my mother and the way she held my brother on a pedestal made me lack love and self-esteem it wasn't until I was a little older that I realized she herself lacked empathy when I displayed the same characteristics of her attitude. what I gained from that understanding was a lot of what we go through not necessarily determines what we become but morely molds us into the state of mind we end up living in. I use to be happy and get excited until I'd get whooped for being to happy and excited which lead me to never show signs of them again. and sad reality is I still suffer with it. I agree with you when you see someone going through pain as of karma but like the comment above said I'll show more empathy for an animal before a human and I'm guessing it's because an animal is doing what's natural in it's nature upose to humans (were a mass majority are fuckin ignorant and selfish) could make me lack it. my opinion. don't mean to write an essay 😂
I honestly feel the reason why there is more and more apathy is because some idiot came up with this B.S. idea that we shouldn't feel sorry for others and sorry for ourselves. Why? That trait is what makes us human, it's what separates us from animals and from machines (or robots). When someone is raped (physically or emotionally), beaten, a death in someone's family, etc., are we NOT supposed to show empathy or compassion or sympathy anymore? This idea has been taught for some time now and the only way to end it, is to stop teaching it.
There's really no need to villianize or structure this like a Survival Guide for people having a lack of empathy. Some people have it and some people don't and both are ok. It's not done on purpose. My roommate is a huge empath and I'm not but I try for her. Not trying to get a gain over her, not trying to be cold or empty or robotic. I can sympathize but have a hard time empathizing, I can on occasions.I may not exactly care depending on the situation but I can still recognize for myself what it is she's feeling I just don't feel it with her. I just have to think about it and actually try. I may only take the effort to do that for people I Love and am close with but I'm not going to let you know it. I'll help if I think I can and ask if you're ok and try to say what I think is right but because the feeling isn't there doesn't make me a bad person.
Thanks @Taylor for this- it is so helpful! Unfortunately there are people who lack empathy and 'play' like they do sometimes and they have ulterior motives. If a person is being given one too many 'benefits of the doubt' - recognizing that the person lacks empathy can help uncover or recognize people who are harmful. You are correct- the empathy factor alone is not determinative of anything as others with certain other conditions - autism etc have shared. Thank you so much.
Why is no one talking about her intro chair spin
Kathy Read
Ok, it reminded me of a movie scene when the villain or the “unknown” is revealed
lol same
Plot twist: she's the psycho
She seems to regard animals and people as equivalent. That's enough for me! Where do I sign up?
iconic
People can "Fake" empathy, I believe. They can say the comforting words, because it is expected..to be normal. (to fit in) But they really could care less.
Agreed -More like faking sympathy to get you to believe they are empathetic- however if you are close to them or spend time with them and are paying attention- because it's true that they 'could care less' that they trip up and can be found out.
agreed to that. i fall in the empathy faker category. i don't want the other person to feel stunned if i don't show any reactions to him, so i pretend..i speak with a sad voice and all this shit to get them to believe that i feel sorry for them. but deep down. i don't even care if the world goes on fire. and yes. my best friend is aware of it. iam so happy that he doesn't see it as a deal breaker, knowing that essentialy, i mean no one harm, and there are worse people out there than just a nonempathic person, least iam not a criminal or something
🤚its Super hard when you dont know how it feels. It has made few of my "friends" really mad
If someone fakes empathy they actually do care because they are trying to make someone feel better, if someone didn't care they wouldn't fake feeling sorry for someone because they don't care. I think someone can lack empathy but still care about other people
@@moxchi_ they may not care that much, but they care enough to say niceties
I was hoping she'd swivel back round at the end again.
What is revealed can't be unrevealed.
Lolololololol. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lol
@0:01 “I’ve been expecting you mr bond”
😂
STOP IT RIGHT NOW 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A person who lacks empathy can still show acts of caring. Because it’s “nice” and the expected response.
I do this coz i don't want to be rejected
I know "nice" people just like this and sure. They'll give the proper social response. For me they're fascinating yet so frustrating. They're operating from scripts. I wonder what made the human parts of them die? You can share the most heartbreaking story, and they'll just sidestep it with "that sucks" and go on talking about the weather.
@@TheBigdog868 it can be either trauma, or something you're born with. But we're still human. Not a psychopath, no, but sociopaths do still *feel*. Just not the same as everyone else
@@TheBigdog868 I get where you coming from. But you know what it's really hard. Like I would most say thats sucks I'd try to say somthing useful but like if you have never experienced it's even harder for some to feel anything . Like I had to call an ambulance for a person i know very well. Thru were hurt but I didnt feel anything. I Helped and went through the motions . But shit its not like we can help it.. it's scary
@@melissag834 well said
My father just passed away 5 weeks ago and it seems like 95% of people just say: "Sorry for your loss". Only 3 people were willing to sit down and let me really talk about it.
We can't tell how close you were to the others but it sounds like you have 3 gems in your life who are supportive and truly care. Kudos to them and big hugs to you on the loss of your dad. We're never really prepared to lose the ones we love and it hurts so much.
Jillian Mac Knight Some people genuinely feel your pain but do not know what to say sometimes. They probably still would have let you talk about it and actually listen. 😊
Thats real life. You cant just expect everyone to talk about it to you. Don't want to sound harsh but the truth already is. Don't be sad about please, that's just plain silly
Same w/ me.
Villainous Vigilante that's not true. Most humans do have empathy. If u right now got stabbed standing on the corner waiting for a ride and people saw, are u saying people wouldn't give a shit? That's a fucking lie. That's not how humans operate. I think it may be u who lacks the empathy sir. We don't know what to say about a death unless we personally knew those involved, if we don't know, we can't say anything more than "I'm sorry for your lose" and yes majority of the people do feel sorry. It may not fuck up their day, but it'll be a memory. It's u with the problem, not humans
When they say:"I don't care"!
It's a massive red flag.
I knew someone who would share his thoughts and how he felt about virtually everything with me, and I always sympathized and tried to help where I could. But when it came to my father dying, I was trying to tell him how I felt I'd needed a few minutes with my father before he was zipped up in that horrible body bag. And I got this reaction: "What did you want them to do? Put him in cold storage for a month so you could look at him?" I was shocked. I'd trusted the wrong person with my deepest feelings.
Weve all being there.
@@cloudydays6277 Thank you. Yes, too many have been there :(
you cut that person of straight away he is not a true friend never let those people in your life.
@@cinder1989 Thank you for that. Yes, I did cut him out of my life, but you know, it still took me a while after that to do it. I wish I'd talked to someone at the time about it, even come on here and got the advice of people like you. Just having others agree with your inner suspicions is so important. Otherwise, you thrash around inside yourself wondering if it's you. God bless.
That's horrible of them to say that to you.
Empathy is the hallmark of a decent human being
omg that awkward chair turn at the beginning, though! 😂
Laurie Jean cringe
What the hell do you mean awkward? That shit was intimidating af
Signs:
1) No reaction \ cold feeling (makes you feel alone)
2) Doesn't show you that they understand your pain
3) Doesn't connect with you
you are so right I was praying so hard to rgain my health and he laughed and told me that God would never help me this is my husband he is verry cold yes feel all alone am finished with this situation
@@renaissance5300 Help yourself, and God will help you
I totally agree with you but I was so debilitated I coulnt see or even swallow or stand up from a tick bite it was horrific and I was dying and he left me alone there in the room I wouldnt do that to an animal or a stranger or anyone but I met someone at a fair and he held my hands tight and told me to pray and I felt something so strong in his beautiful energy that I decided to pray and now I am on my way to recovery never felt good enough to pray felt god was too busy just asked for strength it is so nice to hear from someone who takes an interest in what others have to say and I feel you care @@hellfire92837
I pretend like I care lol is that good enough?
I just cried throughout this whole video. I guess I’ll die alone
Empathy stops people from becoming arrogant. It's important parents say to their kids you wouldn't like if that happened to you.
Good suggestion- thanks Marie!
I’m not arrogant or selfish. I just don’t care if something bad happens to you. But my parents always taught me to be kind and help others so I do. However they say I’m being disrespectful when I try to tell them how I feel about something so I don’t tell people that their loss doesn’t matter to me.
@@lollipopproductionstm1256 this so such a mood
@Pr.incorporated your comment is so confusing??? Who's shoes are you talking about???
@Pr.incorporated that's completely wrong though.
Lack of empathy is when someone makes fun of you when u are in deep hurt and pain from deep abuse you have experienced. They tell u to shut up and get over it. I dumped that person immediately. They did not know it because I just went ghost. U go no contact period. This behavior is reprehensible.
not necessary. i lack empathy, but i don't make fun of other people's feelings, because i care so much about not looking like rude or asshole. so i pretend that i care. i pretend that i feel bad for what they are going through. but deep down i don't.
@@carlosmarkus8491 do u wanna change though?
Angie it doesn’t work like that.
I lack empathy, but it's less of a "I'm gonna make fun of you for this" and more like a "Jeez that's too bad😐.......... Welp, I'll see you later." When my grandmother died I only cried once and years later I now feel a fraction of what my mom was feeling at the funeral. I looked at her dead body in the coffin, I saw her the day she died, I saw her the day before she died, I saw my family's reactions and they were devistated. But guess what. I felt NOTHING. And I regret not expressing my love for her like a normal person would, but I still love her. I cried once then, and few times recently. Mainly because I was sorry that I didn't have the personality to show her how much I loved her while she was still alive. I couldn't help it, it's just the way I am.
Or maybe he's tired of your bullshit. No one has time for your mood swings and shit. If you've received abuse then why are you even in a relationship
Omg what kind of monster doesn’t react when someone falls in the road, spills their stuff and cuts themselves! Put your things back in your purse girl, and run! Sociopath? That’s someone you don’t want in your life.
Bingo!
@@FinelyRevealed I hope it wasn’t your husband Michelle!
Sometimes, someone MAY feel empathy but doesn't 'know' how to express it. Some people have been taught not to show emotion. However, I find that I can pick up on a lack of empathy from someone 'in my gut'. Even in everyday circumstances.
And some people know what society 'expects' them to react in certain ways and so they fake it. They do this to be liked.
Thank you for this comment. I definitely have empathy, but I'm really bad at expressing it. I just bad at expression in general. Although I think you shouldn't judge people based on your gut instinct. It's not always right.
Omg YES!!!!! I just learned how to pay attention to my gut with people because energy NEVER LIES!!!
@@diphenhydramine6072 then you are a stoic character, don’t be ashamed of yourself
I was with my ex for 2.5 years and i saw many times that he lacks empathy but i will NEVER forget that one time when I cried infront of him because i had a fight with my mother and he just sat there and he was accusing me and make fun of me and how i cry. In his eyes I saw evil and coldness and i was so scared.. I never felt somethig like this, like he is not human.
So sorry for your painful experience @Nina - hoping you moved on and found peace.
He’s a narcissist
Yep, my husband did the same last may. all the love i had was gone that day. I saw the devil in his eyes.
My partner just sat there and watched me have a severe anxiety attack didn't even ask me if I was okay yup true story
@@bplatonova what did you do ? did you divorce? have you met someone more caring?
I have had them not only not show empathy, but even LAUGH at me when I was hurt as well.
Sorry -
When people treat you that way, treat them with compassion in return and you'll see that those people actually possess empathy and the ones that still behave the same way you'll know are true aspds or psychopaths.
Deborah Armstrong - or tell you that, "you did this to yourself"? Infuriating, frustrating and very hurtful. You're not alone. /hugs
Maybe they thought you weren't hurt. Like when you fall over and people will laugh unless you're like "fuck I'm in pain"
Unless it was emotional pain then my bad
Deborah Armstrong my family
I had a close friend years ago who lacked empathy. I didn't know it then but thanks to all the social media and videos I know now. When her grandpa died, I expressed my condolences and baked her cookies and was there showing I was sad for her. When my grandpa died, she did nothing, did not even express her condolences. She just wanted to drink and forget about it and not even hear me talk about him.
Yep sounds one sided. I had one like that for 10yrs. Got rid of her now
Whilst being clue less is the natural response. I still ask “Can I do something for you ?”, because often times Idk what to do and am not sure of how to make the person feel better.
I can relate to that the friendship part when it comes to people who lack empathy.
Chair swivel reveal.
Batzarro perfect right
Long ago when I was about 11 years old I was riding my bike with a friend. We were in an unfamiliar area with condos. I turned the corner and I slipped on gravel and wiped out on my bike! A woman came out of her condo and invited me inside to help me with my wounds. I had really bad boo-boos on my hands and knees. She sat me on her kitchen counter and went to work. She meticulously cleaned the gravel out of my wounds, cleaned my wounds, disinfected them, and bandaged them up. She was so kind and gentle. I never felt so cared for in my life! Thank you mystery woman angel from 43 years ago!
Tf was that opening scene
**spins chair**
"We have been expecting u Mr. Anderson"
I am the matrix!
It had me tickled
My best friend showed zero empathy for my father dying. And they knew I was grieving. It was so bizarre.
So sorry @deborah
:(
Yes, you put it perfectly when you said the lack of empathy does make you feel alone. It’s very cold and gives you the feeling that you’re not worth their trouble. Thank you for your videos:)
You're so welcome @mwilk!
I dated a guy for almost a year who lacked empathy. He told me on more than one occasion that he didn't feel like it was his responsibility to act in such a way as to prevent hurting others. He said if he said or did something that hurt someone else, their reaction was their responsibility, not his. Another example is that early in our relationship, I bought tickets to see an 80's band which he said he would like to see with me. I was very excited to see the band play. Many months later, the concert drew near. We were no longer romantic, but had stayed close friends. He was in a long distance relationship with a woman who regularly came to our city for work. The day before the concert, I texted him reminding him of the show and he texted back that he was going to take her to the airport, so he wasn't going to be able to make it. I told him that I didn't appreciate the last minute ditch. I told him it was too late to find someone else to use the ticket and that being ditched like that was hurtful. He responded, "Well, I don't know what you want me to say." It never occurred to him to apologize because he could not put himself in my shoes to understand how it felt to be basically stood up. I didn't go to the show because I didn't want to go alone and the club was in a very sketchy part of Seattle and I didn't feel safe going on my own. A few days later I made the decision to release him from my life and honestly, I don't miss him one bit.
You made the right choice, and dodged a bullet.
If a person is not empathetic with you and some other people but not everyone, they just might not like you.
Is that normal ? Does it make me a bad person if im not empathic with another person ? Am I being mean then and am no longer empathic ? Sorry for the ramble 😅
@@wolfieboy683 You cannot empathize with everybody, some people have different/opposite views than yours eg pro abortion vs anti abortion
Either way they're toxic to be around.
Yeah I think empathy towards a person can change a lot depending on how someone views that person, it doesn’t mean you’re completely apathetic but in almost all cases I think there is virtue in trying to see things from the point of view of another person, even if they hurt you
I was telling "him" that someone was ordering items in my dead son's name...My son has been dead for 3 years... "He" knows my son died. ...He didn't want to be bothered by what I was saying.... He said he didn't care. He wanted to report about his new cats.... I am not interested in seeing this person again. It means I will quit a support group that I had invited him to....
I feel so sorry for people who can't know how true empathy feels. What a dull existence that must be.
you have no idea just how much it is
**Chair spin** "I've been expecting you, mister Anti-social Personality Disorder..."
THE CLICK AND TURN AT THE BEGINNING. WHY AM I DEAD
No empathy can imo be beneficial in terms of career progression, competition in sports and making money. But it is only beneficial to the individual. However the human race could not survive without empathy as a whole. Its essential for building communities and caring for elderly and children.
When my father passed away after a long battle with dementia, my neighbor hijacked the conversation by telling me that her father-in-law died from dementia as well. Then, she basically told me at least my dad didn’t die suddenly and then I got the easy grief. 🥴
months earlier when Mom signed the hospice papers, another friend of mine and I met for dinner. It had been a really tough day. When I told her what was happening her response stunned me. She told me that her bartender friend’s wife had been laid off and that she was going to bake bread to make homemade pickles to comfort her.
:( People like that will drain you. They are bad energy.
Orixá Rose it’s amazing how the patterns emerge so similarly. I’m sorry for your losses and the many times those close to you were not there to see, hear, or understand you.
That chair spin tho...wtf 😂
I thought it was cool!
Wow! This was VERY enlightening! I've always "felt" empathy so strongly, that when I've run into people that obviously DIDN'T, I just found it too hard to BELIEVE, thus I went into DENIAL (in my belief system) that they could/would really BE that uncaring about others, unempathetic! I am just NOW starting to "WAKE UP" to it all!
I totally agree,I am so caring about people + so much for animals , hard to understand how they dont
Great video. They don't feel. Harshly so. Run and don't look back. Being with someone like this is like being in a roller coaster ride without the seat belt! 🤣
Thanks for the feedback John- and yup re the rollercoaster- very well put!
As someone who lacks empathy, I want to share about my experiences empathizing with people. As a lot of people point out people can fake empathy, and I do that very frequently. I know what to say, I know what the person wants to hear, but in reality, I could care less about their problems and just want them to shut up about it and move on. I don't get why what's happened is such a big deal to them, or why they can't simply move on and accept it happened without needing a connection.
(even when they talk about good things that happen in their lives I find their reasoning meaningless and it tires me)
I recognize I'm not normal in this sense. I say comforting things and that I understand so I don't come across as strange or insensitive. However, I don't make fun of people who are sad or who need to talk to someone, I'm more than willing to talk to my friends about their problems, but whenever they do I always find myself wishing they'd stop talking since I always say things along the line of,
'It's okay'
'I get it'
'That really sucks, I'm sorry that happened'
And whenever people notice that I'm slightly out of it when talking about someone's feelings or about their problems, (ex. I get kind of slowed down, tired and even physically exhausted) I always end up saying how because I'm really introverted I get 'people tired', or social. exhaustion if you will.
If you happen to be reading this I'm interested in your opinions on my lack of empathy. Do you think there's something wrong with me? That I'm sick or psychopathic? That I am giving people 'red flags' and am an inevitable danger to society? Or that I'm just narcissistic?
(I feel I should also mention it's become somewhat of a problem, I have an emotionally needy friend who frequently talks about her problems and needs advice, but as I've known her for around a year and have had to 'empathize' more than normal, and almost on a day to day basis I get more and more tired of hearing about her problems and find it increasingly difficult to even fake it. And it almost makes me angry and frustrated whenever she starts talking about her problems, knowing I'll have to say the same tired answers)
Hi @Shy Regardless of whether you are being sympathetic or trying to creae an atmosphere of empathy for a friend- it is asking a lot of someone to listen to the same story repeatedly.
Hey😅
I feel sorta similar, but more in a sense that I just don’t know how to resonate with other peoples problems.
So I find it hard when people get emotional around me and I don’t know how to act or what to say.
I am also increasingly beginning to lose my sense of empathy, and it’s not that I don’t understand how bad the problem might be, I simply just can’t feel anything. And usually find the subjects boring and want it o move past it.🤷♀️
I'm the same as you .
I have aspergers and it comes with a lack of empathy sometimes.
I act like I feel something, but the truth is , I don't and depending on the situation I might not care in the slightest. However I react in the expected way, because I know that it is the right thing to do.
I rationalize others feelings a lot in order to be able to give the expected response. I cannot feel what others are feeling, but if it is a really bad situation and I know the person, I can logically understand why they feel the way they do.
This does not mean that I do not care for others at all. I can feel afection towards others or value their role in my life. I'm someone who values the things others do for me. If someone helps me a lot and seems to value me and my friendship, I'll be loyal and do my best to help them back.
I have a very strong moral code that I stick to no matter what.
Sometimes its quite hard to navigate this because I can slip up and have the wrong response if I'm in a mood and later, when I'm feeling normal again it can clash a lot with my moral code. So I feel guilty. But it is a guilt more related to me, as if I have failed myself.
The only way I'll have a bad response is if you've hurt me in any way.
I enjoyed reading your response. And I appreciated your deep level of honesty on your inability to care about another person's feelings at times.
Even highly empathetic people can definitely experience that after repeatedly being exposed to the same trauma again and again. I think alot of medical workers are experiencing this right now with the pandemic and the high number of deaths and suffering. Sometimes there is a need to pull away and recharge ourselves with something enjoyable and affirming before we can begin to feel and express our empathy again. It's like recharging a battery or power source. So, almost every person on the planet does know what it feels like to not be able to feel or be empathetic at times. And we can then sometimes even feel guilt when that happens to us. Empathy for me is easy to compare to a physical touch. We all (I think) benefit from a pleasant soothing physical touch. It creates a connection and a bond between people. It tells you that you are not alone. But instead of being a physical touch, empathy, for me, is an emotional touch. We feel the other person's feelings for a moment and we care about those feelings with them. And frequently each person then leaves that moment feeling less alone. Feeling connected to another in a way that is beneficial and soothing. It lessens and weakens pain and shares joy and strength. I wish you could feel it. I think you might enjoy it if you could experience it. Those of us who do feel it consider it a very helpful and important part of human interactions.
However, we all have areas in life where we lack one thing or another that someone else has. If you are able to feel joy or accomplishment and satisfaction... If you can experience curiosity and wonder or fascination, then you can still have a great and rewarding life. And as long as you are able to live your life without causing enormous suffering for others, you deserve that freedom to experience all the good life can offer. You may not be able to feel another person's pain or joy and they may not understand why you don't/can't. And things might get awkward and uncomfortable sometimes because of those differences. But I do hope we can all try to understand that we don't always get to choose everything about ourselves. And we should try to show kindness to one another frequently. It has the power to make all of our lives better in so many ways.
The fact you are asking if you are a sociopath/narcissist is a good indicator you are not. We all can have narcissistic tendencies though.
Bring overwhelmed by others could mean you are a sensitive empathetic person.
One who may require meditation, to find inner peace after other interactions.
and find your own internal stronger boundaries.
Narcissistic sociopaths don't give a lic at all about anything, or anyone else, but themselves.
I'm an empath I spot a jezebel/narcissist right away
Jezebel's often fake empathy . They are good at being the do gooders.
yeah. i can't feel empathy. when someone is hurt, i don't feel a thing. but i only pretend that i feel bad for them. just to look normal. deep down i don't.... i really really hope i was a normal person
@@carlosmarkus8491 why would you want to be normal?
No you don't your full of shit
@@carlosmarkus8491 sounds like you might be a bit of a psychopath
Let's be honest, only a few people has real empathy. Everyone's faking it.
HI @JJ maybe - there are many who lack it these days- childhood trauma etc. Also hyper reactionary things like sensational media etc can wreak havoc on the central nervous system and make some shut down. Maybe we build that back by starting with kindness.
I hope people understand that compassionate people are like drugs to people lacking empathy. We both have to learn to live respectfully apart. It is unhealthy to fill in the gaps for people who suck you dry. These posts clearly show people bragging about a lack of empathy. There ARE amazing people who work on this and succeed..this is the purpose of life..to connect, share and love. People who don't want to learn empathy skills deserve each other.
Blue Jay people that don't care to learn or feel empathy deserve to die.
@@vice2versa maybe a little extreme
super empathetic statement there...
And what makes you think you are the supreme authority on what is the purpose of all life? And why do you think you have this divine knowledge to be able to say who is or isn't worthy of others?
Maybe you had a terrible experience with someone who lacked empathy, maybe you had many experiences like that, but it doesn't make sense to put ALL people that have less empathy than you would like in the category of horrible and mean people.
@@rittov320 they can be pretty dangerous tho, since they don't care so they would abuse others for own gain. They can live but I prefer them out of my life. You need to respect that.
Absolutely. You feel cold and you are on your own, especially if you are dating someone who lacks empathy. This could be a very toxic kind of relationship.
I found that people who refer to themselves as “empaths” are the biggest POS’s on the planet.
Can you give an example of this?
Pretty much every “empath I’ve ever knew. People use that term to strengthen their superficial charm.
ZHERO ZHERO those are usually book empaths. They love the idea of empaths. I’ve meet many. They intern turn around and ridicule you and treat you awful and then say they are the victims. They use the the empath language to gain victims. True empaths are true gifts in your life.
Three types of empathy:
Cognitive
Emotional
Compassion.
Wow, during Covid my young nephew with type 1 diabetes was set to prison. I was a complete emotional wreck.
I was both mentally physically and greatly suffering emotionally. My g/f of 7 years was literally stoic and very cold to me during this time.
I eventually fell into severe depression and I ended up staying in the spare bedroom for months in the dark, hardly ever coming out.
During this time she apparently was having an online affair. When I confronted her about it she said she wasn’t and it was my imagination.
I forced myself into recovery, and the minute I was able to take care of myself I threw her out.
It has only been 30 days and I’m still in the recovery process. I am now dealing with the reality of what a frightening woman I was living with. I could never see someone suffering as bad as I was for a minute, none the less over 8 full months.
She was so calm and cold at times it was as if she wasn’t even human. I must never forget this horrific experience. I could have died.
Thank you for sharing Danielle- you just helped someone. You will make it through this!
People who lack any empathy have traditionally been called "cold hearted."
Sorry, but I'm very frustrated with this, because this is how the vast majority of people view empathy.
In reality, nobody is empathetic from the start, NOBODY. We ALL learn it.
I'm autistic personally, so because of that, I can have an understanding for others who are autistic, while I don't agree with everyone, I can still understand them. In the same way as "normal" people can understand each other.
What's happening is that the majority which is functioning "normally" put that as the baseline. So when you come across someone who functions differently, someone who responds differently, or doesn't know how to respond, you call that a red flag, and "wrong". Now, BECAUSE people think it's just wrong, they'll dismiss those people, further alienate them, push them away from society more and more, instead of actually wanting to understand them, help them in any way, etc.
I, as someone who is autistic, and hell, most of the autistic people out there, WANT to understand "normal" people, be incorporated into society, etc. But for the most part, it's difficult, or other times, not even possible to live a decent life when you don't function like the average human out there.
So the "lack" of empathy you are talking about, is actually what you yourselves are mostly at fault for, because you just think everything that deviates from what you expect is "wrong". This is also why autistic people many times are considered to have TOO much empathy.
Many of us have meltdowns and shutdowns for a reason. We're not allowed to be different. Stimming and doing other things to ease our sensory processing issues is "weird" or disrespectful, and people will move away from us because of it.
How are, not just we on the autism spectrum, but also other people who have had fucked up childhoods, other mental disorders, etc, how are we supposed to function in society, if society doesn't want to understand us at all, but rather put a "wrong" stamp on us and hope that someone turns us into "normal".
Autism for one, brings many good things, the most common being that we usually do much better within fields that we like, why can't this be used instead of pushed away? How many people that are pushed out of society could actually benefit society greatly if they were just allowed to?
Thank you for sharing this valuable information.
You're stupid. Empathy is a natural occurrence.
That's very empathetic of you.
TheEternalPie YES. It's learned. compassion, sympathy, and understanding is not
TheEternalPie you said the truth.
i feel like i ve lost my ability to empathise . its like i am refusing to do it , blocking it.
Same
Because u have experienced lack of empathy maybe
True me too
I try to be more empathethic
I try to hug people and its hard its just weird to me
It can be an important defense mechanism in response to extreme circumstances. You can work through your circumstances with a therapist.
its like im telling myself "theres nothing i can do so why do i need to feel like that,i don't like that feeling" so i just keep a poker face everytime because im selfish...i put myself first than other people..i don't care about their problem its not like i can do anything about it..i have my own problem..thats why i realized that i only feel a bit of empathy with people that i know or just hang out with in general.
You really demonize people like this here. It's not like they are monsters really. I for example most of the time feel nothing when I see a tragedy or when a family member of a friend dies. I know what they feel but I don't empazhize with them. But if someone tripped in front of me I would help them up. I have neve eand will never comit a crime. I have my moral code. But it's not based on feelings or empathy it's based on right or wrong. I would help others right in front of me becaude they need help and not because I experience the same as they do. It makes life in these times far easier. I'm glad I don't have to experience terror and panic when a terrorist attack happens for example. People like me are not wprse people we often just had experiences that changed us forever.
Thank you for the comment Damonplay and sorry for the suffering you endured. Demonization is not intended- just awareness. There are degrees of these things and it seems you are on the positive end of the spectrum.
+FinelyRevealed Ok thank you. As I said it depends. We can still have morals through our upbringing. It gets problematic when children that are like I was have no one to teach them about it. Then only the punishment of the law can prevent them from comitting crimes. Unfortuantely there is no reversing this process without a very long therapy and with time you actually like this state. It's hard to explain but you are getting used to it and then you think hiw can people always be so emotional and let those emptions guide them. It seems really negative telling it like that but when you experience it first-hand it's totally different
Dämonplay It depends. You can not feel empathy either because you haven't experienced those feelings or because you literally cannot experience those feelings. If its the latter it means you are a bad person, a narcicist or a psychopath
I can relate, i often find myself understanding how people think/feel but not really feeling for them. However, a lot of morality rests on how people feel and perceive life, and if you can't feel that, how can you tell what's right and wrong?
David B man that shit was right on bro 💯
If they don't feel for
U get away from them . Good advice
Now I need to take
It ?
HI @Lorrie - the answer would be yes either way- you take the advice to get away or you accept the situation and if the other person is not autistic or otherwise affected such that empathy is diminished or not there- then your odds are increased that you are or will be abused. The good news is that you know and so now you have a choice.
I thought you were writing a poem. The fuck dude?
I may have too much empathy. If there's such a thing? Dear God I fell and broke my tailbone and ankle and my husband never helped me. It was over a year before I realized that he hadn't helped me.! Whoaaa! This is odd that you're describing my life. Whoa!!
yes, just last year i realized my husband had no empathy. 10 years it took me to see this
Bahahahaha
I have been where you are now so I absolutely can relate . But please try not to blame yourself for taking so long before being able to perceive, process and finally realize the very difficult truth - that for some reason what you thought was a loving relationship actually was an abusive one.😔 Instead please be grateful and proud of yourself for having the inner courage and enough self-love to write your feelings down and communicating them to others.Well done! You have now managed to take the very difficult but absolutely necessary first step towards healing and a life with truly loving relationships💖💖💖
I was talking about my brother and my verbal and emotional abuse from my narcissistic mother. My mother-in-law didn't say a word. Not an ounce of compassion. I hate that about narcissists.
HI Jean- well we need to just 'skip' them for these types of discussions if we want any feedback etc. You'll only hurt yourself. sorry.
every time i’m going through pain, physical or emotional etc... i just think “ hey, it’s just a feeling deal with it!” that’s just how my mind works.
Ouch! I know its 3 years later when I found this. But wow! I'm so sorry you went through this. It IS ❤ breaking to hear. I don't think i'll ever understand or even be okay with some people's no-reaction-at-all response to tragedy or negative circumstances in someone else's life. I can't help but feel bad or sad for them. I feel a natural desire to lift them up again. Turn things around for them. My mother and 47 year old brother are without empathy. Its just outright crazy how they are so self-absorbed, yet completely not self-aware. Unaware of others rights or feelings too. I hope life has been good for you since your accident dear. Thanks for making this awesome video. Merry Christmas and God Bless you and yours. 🎅💗☺🙏👍
Hi @Heavy Thanks for the kind words - just sharing some lessons to try to help others.
Every person I know who lacks empathy doesn't laugh to the point of tears or outloud for a minute or two, is normally a smile, and go back to serious face. The only time you really noticed enjoyment is when something bad happens to someone else. It's a 😏 smirk face. Now, I avoid people with no sense of humor because that is a big sign of a miserable person.
Thanks for sharing that observation Victory
I had a person tell me we don’t know or can’t tell if a person has empathy because it’s personal as to what you feel, but this pretty much debunks that. I agree you CAN tell if someone lacks empathy. (Even if that person is a public figure.)
The chair spin at the beginning took me out 😂 💀
That happened to me... I have that happen a lot... I think a lot of people don't empathy these days... I'm used to it know it's sad.
The problem is that narcs show fake empathy. For example, that guy ignored you when you fell down. But, let's say, if that same guy worked in a company, in which you would work as his boss/supervisor, he would run to help and show emotion! But as soon as he gets promoted above you, and then he sees you fall, he'll ignore... And, sometimes people show you kindness and empathy only because they want something from you or get your position and not because they just want to help. So, it's easy to see when someone has no empathy right away. But do we differentiate and know when someone is being fake or being authentic when showing empathy?
Hi @g yes with the same person and multiple examples of the same type it would seem to be easy. It depends upon the nature of the interaction and number of contacts and of course awareness of these behaviors which is what these examples are trying to show.
This is fascinating, I have asperger's, I can be taught how others will feel in a given situation, based on what I know I can to an extent try to predict how someone will
feel, but I cannot feel it. I cannot feel as they. It is interesting because you are more
proof of the fact that I differ from the masses. I can feel emotion based on very serious things, but for more trivial stuff it doesn't kick in, not to a large extent anyway.
Thank you for contributing to a greater understanding.
FinelyRevealed your never gonna shock us out of it.
FinelyRevealed if you just say all apathactic then all gonna is thraumatize aspies
That's how I am on the whole. The exceptions I can count on one hand.
lol, i know people that have these problems, they dont reveal themselves to strangers, and they hate having a medical history reveiling them, ur just confused, people who lack empathy are scared people
I do have empathy but only for ppl who have empathy for me because I don't see the point of having empathy for someone who doesn't care about me
I'm in a relationship with someone I think is a narcissist (after studying this for a year on CZcams), but I also wonder if I am the narc? And I got worried...because from all my past trauma sometimes I don't feel empathy properly...but then sometimes I do. Its kind of like my empathy has been mixed up quite a bit from being yelled at. I'd really like to delve deeper and figure out if its me or him who lacks the empathy. This is so confusing and does feel like black ink spills over your life and you can't see the clear pages to know. I am also addicted to watching these videos on youtube...scrambling to find answers.
Sounds like you could use some counseling or at a minimum some space from this person. Until you separate you will continue to have these types of questions because you are being influenced. There is a test you can complete - google it and it will help you. Good luck to you @latte !
Hey, maybe you should look up BPD. I have it, it's a possibility.
Pls dont listen to people who think you have some personality disorder. Its known people with mental health issues will project unto you. You said yourself you feel empathy sonetimes. Truth is to feel bad everytime something bad happens to others can be draining. Youve been through some things so you filter what you empatise with i do it too otherwise id be a daily emotional wreck. Nothing wrong with you dont overthink it, if your bf is pointing fingers it may be good to separate from him to see things clearly. Goodluck
Historians who researched the atrocities of the Nazis and Communists came to the conclusion that their number one personality trait was a complete and total lack of human empathy. "Evil" is also defined as a total lack of human empathy by criminologists.
HI @John and thank you for this. We have a new video on exactly this coming soon-
I'm a diagnosed antisocial/psychopath (cluster B dark quatrad) and truly have a Vulcan's emotional response to basically .. I was born this way and am coming out to say that we exist, a lot of us aren't criminals and are just quiet recluses, I work nights just to get away from any public.. But many of us, me included can be Shakespearean in our acting, especially in the empathy and feeling dept..all for our gain tho..
Thank you for your candor. Every person has a place and a gift to share.
Uno Carb I'm diagnosed with ASPD as well,but my diagnosis isn't because of a different brain structure like with you I suffered horrible abuse when I was young so I'm a sociopath. I can have more emotional depth but we're pretty similar emotionally. You should visit Quora it's a answer site ,there are a couple of psychopaths as well I also write on it. You should check it out if you're intrigued.
Hady Swag You are extremely ignorant and you have no knowledge of psychology. He's not a criminal because he didn't break any crime,do you even know what a criminal is? Antisocial personality disorder is a variant brain structure that some people are born with,it cuts of some emoticons and blunts the other's. Go open a book on psychology or stop talking about things you don't know.
@@DrHappy-hk4hl stop lying
“Empathy is the ability to understand and feel how another person is feeling in a given situation from that person’s point of view.”
An example from wider society of just how undervalued empathy is: Meet any person in a social situation, and as soon as that person becomes interested in you, the question which is sure to follow any other is, in 99 in 100 times, "so, may I ask, what do you do?" That question is an implicit attempt to measure your value as a human. We don't ask "what was the last charitable act you did to help others?", or "so, may I ask, can you think of an altruistic behaviour which you exhibited recently?" No, it's - what's your value as a human to others, and the answer which will mostly impress, or otherwise, has little to do with empathy. If you should respond something along the lines of - that you clean the local toilets for a living, but in your spare time you love saving lives - the reaction you will get will be one of pollite bemusement, and then they will be sure to move on from you, to speak with another, at the earliest opportunity - even if you've just been entirely truthful. I must say right now that I highly respect people who devote their lives to helping others, but I don't feel most do. For most, it is likely true to say one's status in earning power matters to others, in a way that one's dedication to saving lives (or just about anything else!) doesn't quite match. But don't blame me, I didn't make the rules, however I sure did notice them...
devote their lives to helping others.
Some people will get their photo's taken when giving generously.
The rest of the time, they wouldn't donate a dime to a bum.
boring
There's a lot of social engineering going around - that's a main reason why there's so much narcissism and borderline sociopathy, which diminishes someone's ability to feel empathy.
THIS POST, how many years till this recognition becomes mainstream?
The collective lives in a place of no empathy. The love is not deep enough, and the system has destroyed your future.
for people who lack empathy, they can learn it with time, but it's not always taught to you when you grow up, depending on where in the world you grow up.
countries lacking empathy a lot: france, north korea, pakistan and norway, to mention some.
I was going through finals in school, working on the weekends and had a daughter to spend time with. Him: you make time for everyone and everything but me.
LOLOL the intro turn around 👏👏😁
I definitely can not feel empathy on the same level as other people from early childhood. Doesn’t matter what situation is. Doesn’t matter who is it. You don't understand me, but I don't understand you at all either. People like us are also needed in the world, we have our advantages. Without narcissists and sociopaths human civilization would not be so successful in all respects. We are not “broken” or “ill” as people try to present, but rather another version of the norm. We have always been. We will always be.
Actually to me, there are 3 traits can to consider. "Understanding" anyone can do even psychopaths, sociopaths, & narcs as it is necessary for any human in order to be successful at either positive or negative manipulation (if you can't understand them, then you can't manipulate among other basic human traits). "Sympathy" is imagining or knowing how someone could be feeling & feel for them to a certain extent & "empathy" is actually the ability to feel with the person even if not the exact same experience, but they can relate to the same level of the emotion whether it is being so happy you cry, so embarrassed you feel you may die or tragically heartbroken.
I have been studying NPD for a while now, so, I have gotten better at discovering them and ot has helped protect me from more abuse. However, what is sad, is that some people who arent narcissists also do not seem to have enough empathy for others. Not to the same degree as someone with NPD, no, but they arent the kindest people, either.
Read down in the comments- some people lack empathy based upon other circumstances or conditions that are out of their control.
I wish I have empathy 😢
Wowitz Expert You do; if you didn't, you would feel sorry for not having it, because you would personally believe that there was nothing wrong with not having it. (Which there isn't)
You may have an emotional block which stops the empathy to reach the awareness.
There are a lot of cold hearted people in the world. Some are ice cold - I know of many --
good for you
There is one group of people who have no empathy
Aleta Sykes white people?
Nazi's?
the BT-1000 ?
Bomberman lol proved her right
white people lack empathy
Autism. Lack of emotion. Lack of communication. Lack of socialization. Lack of sensation. Lack of progression. Lack of interaction. Lack of vocation. Lack of relation. Lack of navigation. Generated by anatomical differences of the brain thus immediately blocking these processes from happening between them and neurotypicals. Thus making the autistic mental patient entirely incapable of eating and driving and looking and breathing and empathizing/sympathizing and growing and developing and fashioning and learning and other things that are strictly for neurotypicals only. Kids suffering from autism spectrum disorder have epileptic seizures. They are degenerates. They lack a perspective. They are hollow inside with no feelings and no morals. Autism is the number of symptoms in youth suffering from antisocial personality disorder. Individuals with antisocial personality disorder or in better words autism spectrum disorder classify as psychopaths and sociopaths. They were made autistic by genetic defects or brain damage
Thanks for contributing @Colonel yes, there are a variety of conditions that can contribute to lack of empathy among other types of traits or lack thereof.
nice spin!!!!
My father loves ridiculing, belittling, bullying, playing mind games, gaslighting me he makes everything about him everything is one sided.
well guess i have no empathy!
I keep laughing every time Hillary Falls. No empathy for vampires here either.
Not everyone is going to get the importance of this message. I just want to say thank you for making this video as it helps me to reflect on some things.
I think I lack empathy, but not too extremely. I can feel the grief of others if its caused by the loss of someone they loved, because I've been through that myself. But before experiencing the loss myself, I don't think ever felt really bad when I heard someone lost someone. I knew what happened, I knew they must be feeling really bad, and I also knew that I should feel bad as well.. and so I tried to act as how anyone is supposed to act in that situation. But I don't think I felt any real sadness.
On the other hand, I can easily cry if it's for animals. I can imagine their pain more than that of people around me.
Yesterday, a friend of mine told us that she has TB.. and it was shocking. But, I didn't feel anything while my other friends were genuinely worried for her. I too, ofcourse, said words of care but I'm not sure if I felt any worry.
It's not like I don't care for others, I really do, but I just can't feel bad for them most of the times. And this is something I really want to change about myself. I try to be as nice as possible, because that's the right thing to do, but it still lacks emotions, especially because I can't fake my facial expressions or the tone of my voice. I wish I could change.
I read a comment where a person was saying that it pisses them off how someone lacks empathy. I just want to say, bro, it's not by choice.
HI @Park Thank you so much for this. When we share we can spread understanding and through understanding come together. We are preparing a video on helping cultivate empathy and how we have different types of empathy. Watch for them and hope they help.
I'm in the same boat, except worse. I feel horrible guilt that I don't feel the sadness people around me have and I feel very disrespectful. It happened when my grandmother died and it happened again today when my grandpa dies. I had respect for him and he was a nice grandfather but I just can't seem to express what other people do, I cant cry much like other women and even men in the family do. The sadness almost immediately passed away and I picked up my phone to play a game because what else? I'm of no use of comforting others because I can't sympathize with them. So here I am looking up what the heck is wrong with me. To be quite honest i doubt i can do anything about it. I was like that since childhood..
It really isn't by choice. Everyone wants to call it narcissism or you are just a horrible person.. It is a emotional trait we lack..
Seems that you have cognitive empathy. Have you read about it?
Have you ever actually tried to research and develop your empathy ? It’s reasonable when people are confused and upset by someone else’s lack of empathy, just because you struggle with an undeveloped part of yourself you can’t really put the fault on others for being surprised/upset/ confused at behavior that doesn’t seem right.
This Lady is right i saw a Psychiatrist once who was so callous cold and cruel ! He actually told me he wanted me to suffer how sadistic is that ! ?
People some time can't understand
Cuz it ain't them !
Sometimes people
Maybe glad it Ain them !
Lol, what was that chair spin😂 i'm dying....gonna rewind this just for that intro.
Yes they sense it .My chuihuaha Maria sensed my abuse my husband with his scheming mind she glared at him sitting on my lap
I have lack of empathy and I just don’t understand people’s emotions. I recognize when people are sad but I don’t feel sorry and deep down I just couldn’t care less. In reality I have no strong bond with anyone including parents, my friendships are shallow but yet again - I don’t care. I express no empathy, sympathy or compassion unless people expect me to, then I fake it.
I only give empathy to people because I want something out of it. I’m quite the same to you, I only do so when people expect me to. My grandmother died and I remember my mom crying I understood why she was sad but I felt nothing. When friends are talking bad about themselves or are sad, I only cheer them up because I have to, not because I feel empathetic to do so. I fake a lot of emotions, I can be really witty and funny, just so I fit in and isn’t this dull shell of a person. I tend to lie and manipulate people, I feel only a slight bit of remorse when I do so. I often overextend events in my life to make me more interesting.
I’ve done this many times before, I really liked this twitch streamer so I decided to make a seperate account to bully them and use my main account to come off as the hero. I can almost lie my way out of everything situation I am in. Or make me seem slightly better if I did something.
For example; I hit my sister as a act of anger, I managed to manipulate and lie my way out of getting in any trouble, my sister got into more trouble even though she hardly did anything.
But something I don’t understand is that I show such compassion to animals, and cried when my dog died more so then both my grandparents that died in the same month.
This girl who’s mother had died stole something from me and I couldn’t care less I got angry and felt so much hatred for her, and I still do even though she had just lost her mother. I never cared I felt no empathy towards her or anything.
I often will give things to people in need only because I want to make myself look like a better person, it isn’t a act of empathy or anything.
Ah the chair spin, classy, this must mean she knows alot of shit Lmao.
All people are different. Some have empathy, and some don't. One group is not superior to the other group.
I think having an ability is superior compared to not having it. Like having sight compared to being blind. No offence to anyone. I'm not saying it's fair either. If you don't have it it's not your fault.
Good video. Only change I'd make is when u spin in the chair at the beginning is that next time have a cat in your lap stroking it with a grin on your face. Then it's be perfect. Lol goid video tho thank you. I hve a ex that I have a little girl with and her lack of empthay or sympothy is very very scary.
Thanks for the suggestion Scott! Your little girl is very lucky to have you as her dad to teach and protect her.
Lol chair spin with cat in lap with pinky in her mouth. Now that would be funny! Just saying!
Terrible video
I don't have empathy, only if I want to. And because I'm good at maintaining everybody thinks I'm very very empathetic. I don't know why but it annoyes me so much that most people are crying all the time. I just want fo fit in and play my role. I even mirror yawns.
this helps me in preparing for cpxp exam! thanks!
Good examples but most people know very well if they are with someone who lacks empathy, for the simple reason that they feel like shit when they are with that person.
Yes. What feeling person doesn’t already understand this? We do not need to be told these everyday truths. Waste of my time.
I literally have no empathy, and I realize it. Even the people I am closest to and love so much I don't have much empathy for. I don't care about how others feel unless I see them actually cry, and I also don't care about things that do not affect me at all. However, I know how to be nice when people are sad or if they're hurt even if it does not seem natural to me to do.
It seems to be a matter of degree and also awareness. Your awareness probably aids your interactions a lot.
well it's like this,we all CV h3n through something,whether I ts been physically abuse sexually abused, incest,everyone been through something,and they are dealing with their issue,they might not know how to deal with certain situations,so you will have to be understanding and patience,everyone have they own issues ok,and it's called forgiven, because no one is perfect.
Mallory Johnson I kind of feel like this today about my wife. It's a trend of her. It just makes me feel alone in the relationship.
Mallory Johnson self centerd bitch
While it's good to see you are aware of your lack of empathy, someone like you is the last person I would go to with a problem or for understanding. My default perspective on someone like you would be to view you as a cold person and having gone through many personal tragedies, I tend to call out cold people on who they really are and I don't hesitate to let others know who and how these people are. I basically go to "war" with cold-hearted types.
Someone who has endured extreme loss and suffering may seem to have no empathy.
Never turn your chair around like that again in the begining. Reminds me of something very creepy lol
Boo! hahaha
The chair turn is some theatrical intent. Her dress is a little odd.
HighSpeedNoDrag I actually like her dress, it futs her very well and compliments her skin tone aswell.
She is attractive and Intelligent.
This is a great way to address the turn. Lighthearted, then you move on to what's important.
Thank you so much for this valuable information! 😊
Empathy in excess isn't an automatic virtue. Too much of anything is bad. I would say our society over values it.
You could be right Stomdey's!
not a huge fan of how this video (or some of the comments, at least) seem to be villainize people with low/a lack of empathy, pegging them as people who can ‘trip up’ and be ‘found out.’
I don't feel empathy I don't know why, should I fake it? Whenever I do I sound sarcastic.
Luke bennett was your childhood ok or did something happen during your teen years? one thing I'm learning is no child is born to hate. I myself loved my lil brother but from the lack of love from my mother and the way she held my brother on a pedestal made me lack love and self-esteem it wasn't until I was a little older that I realized she herself lacked empathy when I displayed the same characteristics of her attitude. what I gained from that understanding was a lot of what we go through not necessarily determines what we become but morely molds us into the state of mind we end up living in. I use to be happy and get excited until I'd get whooped for being to happy and excited which lead me to never show signs of them again. and sad reality is I still suffer with it. I agree with you when you see someone going through pain as of karma but like the comment above said I'll show more empathy for an animal before a human and I'm guessing it's because an animal is doing what's natural in it's nature upose to humans (were a mass majority are fuckin ignorant and selfish) could make me lack it. my opinion. don't mean to write an essay 😂
Same bro, I could care less if a friends family member just died, just give him a fake hug and pat his shoulder. He should be ok.
@@lunatisaidthat what's with the Who Hurt You?
I honestly feel the reason why there is more and more apathy is because some idiot came up with this B.S. idea that we shouldn't feel sorry for others and sorry for ourselves. Why? That trait is what makes us human, it's what separates us from animals and from machines (or robots). When someone is raped (physically or emotionally), beaten, a death in someone's family, etc., are we NOT supposed to show empathy or compassion or sympathy anymore? This idea has been taught for some time now and the only way to end it, is to stop teaching it.
There's really no need to villianize or structure this like a Survival Guide for people having a lack of empathy. Some people have it and some people don't and both are ok. It's not done on purpose. My roommate is a huge empath and I'm not but I try for her. Not trying to get a gain over her, not trying to be cold or empty or robotic. I can sympathize but have a hard time empathizing, I can on occasions.I may not exactly care depending on the situation but I can still recognize for myself what it is she's feeling I just don't feel it with her. I just have to think about it and actually try. I may only take the effort to do that for people I Love and am close with but I'm not going to let you know it. I'll help if I think I can and ask if you're ok and try to say what I think is right but because the feeling isn't there doesn't make me a bad person.
Thanks @Taylor for this- it is so helpful! Unfortunately there are people who lack empathy and 'play' like they do sometimes and they have ulterior motives. If a person is being given one too many 'benefits of the doubt' - recognizing that the person lacks empathy can help uncover or recognize people who are harmful. You are correct- the empathy factor alone is not determinative of anything as others with certain other conditions - autism etc have shared. Thank you so much.