I FINALLY TRIED SWEDISH DEATH CLEANING (and it actually works!!!)
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 4. 12. 2021
- I've been hearing about Swedish Death Cleaning everywhere. I felt like the universe was pushing me to learn more about this decluttering method. I first heard of it when @DoItOnaDime shared her video about it and then just kept hearing Swedish Death Cleaning mentioned all around and decided it was time to try. I bought the book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family From a Lifetime of Clutter, and dove in....and I LOVED IT. I can't wait to share more with out guys about this amazing decluttering system.
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A hint I learned awhile ago regarding sentimental clutter: take a picture of it. Then you can get rid of the physical item and still have the memory attached to the item. đ»
!!! Absolutely doing the same! It helps soo much
I do it! It really helps!!!
I came here to say this. You beat me to itđ It really does help and doesn't seem to carry the guilt of finding the object that you forgot about for some time. It's more of a delight was you see the picture again.
I do this with all the kids "artwork" (they're 6 and 8)
Oh wow
This struck a chord with me. I had to clean out my momâs home when she died. It was overwhelming and heartbreaking. There was so much stuff and I was only able to keep a fraction of it. Pictures and a few sentimental items. I just didnât have room or a need for most of it in my home. Some was donated to charity but at some point I had to start throwing things away. I was sobbing as I filled garbage bags. I swore I wouldnât do the same thing to my family when I pass.
That was heartbreaking to read. Thanks for your insight it definitely will impact me as well on what I will keep and burden others with
@@Lunatheia â€ïž
Same thing happened to me a few weeks ago and it is heartbreaking when the things they collected and stored all their life ends up in a land fill site. Sure some things went to charity but a lot didn't. I totally get it. Thanks for sharing x
@@beckywebb9597 Iâm so sorry you had to go through that. I get it.
Thank you you too x
When my 101 yo Mother went into nursing home, I invited all my family for a weekend at her home so we could get it ready to be sold. We spent the weekend laughing, loving, and picking out items that each person really wanted to treasure and take. It was a wonderful and memorable family time. Our real estate agent connected us with a local liquidator for the rest of the household items. What a blessing that was. The house was emptied out, cleaned and put on the market. My Mom will be turning 103 in a few weeks and all her assets were turned into funds that supports her care. She is unburdened by âstuffâ and she is happier for it and when she does pass, we can all come together again and celebrate her remarkable life.
Wow what a great testimony and wonderful advice! God bless your Mom. I said a prayer for her â€ïž
So happy for your statement that "I will never be a minimalist." That's how I also feel.
I am in the process of decluttering and letting things go. But it's an ongoing process...
Trying hard not to leave behind a ton of PAPER and things my kids or grands won't use...my home will never be perfect.
Realizing my kids won't have the emotional attachment that I do has helped.đđ
I pray she is well today.
As an exhoarder, I had gone through cancer for two years - I decluttered 60+ boxes of stuff (mainly bedroom, personal gears, and clothing). I had no idea that I was literally doing "death cleaning." My goal was to have stuff that will only take my brother to clear out in 2 hours when I am no longer alive. It sounds morbid, but it's actually really motivating. In the end, I'm am clear on what's important and what's unnecessary clutter.
After my mom died unexpectedly, I went into her Amazon account to unsubscribe from Prime, and this Swedish Death Cleaning book was sitting in her cart. I donât think she somehow mystically knew she was going to die, but she was 60, so I think she was just trying to prepare for the inevitability. It was heartbreaking that she wanted to do this but ran out of time đ
â€ïž So sorry for your loss
@@Jan-100 thank you
So sorry for your loss, I lost my dad in 2018 and he was my best friend and I wish I could say it gets easier and it somewhat does and then sometimes you have a sucky day and you miss them Ike it was yesterday they left. You can view cleaning out her Amazon prime account as a sort of serendipitous gift since you now know what the book is about you can save your kids the task of having so much to go through. Iâm 46 and my mom is a hoarder and I didnât know there was a whole thing with death cleaning bc Iâve always kind of cleaned this way on instinct. Maybe thatâs my little bit of Swedish DNA manifesting itself lol. Sending you love and peace itâs never easy to lose a parent bc no matter our ages we will always need them. â€ïž
@@lovelight792 Iâm so sorry for your loss as well. Thank you for sharing your experience and insight đ
â„ïž
Now I understand my grandmother better. A couple years before her death she started gifting us things that we enjoyed from her home while she threw things out that no one wanted. My sister was really uncomfortable with it because she was not happy talking about the eventual death of my grandmother but actually I think she was really wise. She did not want to burden us with her stuff while she made sure we have the things from her that we really enjoy and she came up with this idea without reading about it. I think it's amazing. I have just 3 things from her and they are much more special to me and I always think about the moment she gave it to me.
My grandma did the same and Iâll always be eternally grateful for this. I was the only one left in the family so I had to take care of everything. But it was so little. Her funeral was already planned and paid for and she has gotten rid of most of her things. I was in my early twenties. I would have not been able to deal with a whole house of stuff.
My grandmother has been randomly sending us things for the past 5 years or so. She told me âI keep sending you my stuff hoping that God will get the hintâ. Sheâs 94 I love that she can find humor in literally everything.
I had a resident who did this! Cleaning up and decluttering for when she died. Still kicking and in her mid 90s.
My dad is doing this now. I had mixed feelings but your comment has me looking at it very differently. Thank you! đ€
My beloved Uncle and his wife did the same... when we came to their home after they sadly both died of natural causes in two weeks one after another... it was totally organised and EVERY item had a Sticker beneath with the name of the person who should get it if they want it. All what's leftover should be donated or sold and the money for this should go to a mother and child home.
It worked so well and the whole family was happy with it. My cousin (who is a lawyer) took care of making their last will happening.
I for myself only took one small item, and I always will remember them. đâ€
Swede here. Super common to go through and give away stuff to loved ones when you get older. My grandma gave me a lot of china, dining chairs, a Persian rug, and other lovely things. She just opened up her cupboards and asked us sibling to take what we wanted. So all of us now has things of hers and our grandpa that we genuinely love and cherish. She also got rid of a lot of stuff, giving it to charity and what not.
She past a few years ago, and sure there were a lot of stuff to go through anyways, but since we already had been given the things we wanted, it wasn't a terrible experience.
My grandmother started giving me her old jewellery when she got old. She didn't want me to get them when she died because then they'd bring sad memories.
Good. God bless you
@@GingkoBalboa142 That is such a great sentiment.
lmao, old people trash, what a joke
@@GingkoBalboa142That's a wonderful way to do it! My mother does the same thing with certain special pieces of her jewelry. She knows how terribly sentimental I am, though, and because quite a few things came from me, over the years, she is leaving a lot of it to me when she dies. I just hope that is still a long, long time, because I would certainly rather have her here than the jewelry, regardless of the value!
After our honeymoon and returning to our home after a week, I told my wife this: âWe lived perfectly happy with all the items in one suitcase and a backpack (each had one of each) plus the basics of a hotel room. So why do we have so much stuff at home that we never use?â We still have a lot years later, but now that we are in the process of moving to a bigger house (child number 2) weâre getting rid of everything we donât use. One tip that I find useful is to tackle one small section at a time. You see a whole room a mess and get defeated before you start. So just pick one thing. The mess on the desk. Okay 30 minutes later your desk in clean and the room slightly cleaner. And before you know it all those sections over the next few days the room is clean. Tip 2: if you donât use it, get rid of it. If you think you might, store it in s bin in the basement and put a date on it. If you donât use anything in that bin for a month, 2, 3, do you truly need it? Good luck! I know I still have s lot to do. Clean and decluttered is a journey not a destination. Remembering to reset a room to how you entered it helps. Oh and briefly mentioned in the video we take a lot in and not a lot out. So maybe every time you buy something, get rid of something you donât use. Keep the flow 1:1, not 100 in: 2 out. This is s long comment. Hope it helped 1 person. Even if itâs myself.
I'm definitely going to use the bin tip, never thought of that. Thank you for sharing your tips!! Hope your decluttering went well
@@mikadune7516 It did. During the move we actually rented a dumpster and trashed anything that couldnât be donated. We thought about selling some things, but that would take time. Plus if it didnât sell we might end up keeping it. So anything we thought of selling, we gave to friends and family who wanted it. The rest donated or trashed.
Now our clutter is just baby related. But thatâs easily managed as they age, cycling in new toys, books, and clothes.
Weâve also cut way back on obtaining things (Non baby related).
Itâs hard, but as long as you do a little a day, itâs more than nothing.
The 1 minute rule has also helped. If you can do something in 1 minute or less; just do it as you think of it. Itâs easy to say Iâll do it later or tomorrow, but if you just do it now, itâs done.
@erics2091 That's awesome! It sounds like it's going really well!
I started to do it just with boxes. Mostly work and sketch books coupled with a few other things, but it's really shown a difference. It's helped me quite a lot.
I hope it continues to go well with you and your family!
Thanks for this â€
All great tips. I love the bin idea. And trying to help my family clean, we normally get the "defeated before you even start" mood when trying to clean. Breaking it into sections works wonders. If you have 10 sections in a room and do one a day, you can have it clean it 10 days! Maintaining those sections is another issue, but once you clean a section once, it's less intimidating because you're more confident in your skills the next time. Happy decluttering :)
One question that many must ask themselves is "How financially feasible is it for me to replace this item once it is gone if I need it again?" Income, or the lack of it, plays a large role in such decisions for a growing number of people these days, especially as we watch the prices of our most basic, necessary items continue to unreasonably escalate. There is an old saying that has served people well, while also giving them a greater appreciation for the value of the few things they had during hard times: "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without." Despite the obvious wisdom of this old adage, there still must be a proper balance. Declutter is necessary for all of us, and videos like this make it easier to face!
That saying is my mantra. I have a great depression book/cookbook and a hoarder mother. Add those together and I do NOT like having clutter.
I have a hard time letting go because as a child, we moved every few months and I would lose everything. It was heartbreaking for me. I cried about losing my favorite baby doll for at least 2 years.
Now, I have a hard time getting rid of anything that I think I might need again. I don't want to spend money on something I should have kept. I've thrown out all my clothes when I've gained or lost weight and then had to replace those items, so now I keep it all, as long as it's something I would wear if it fit. If I no longer like the style, I'll get rid of it, no problem.
My teenage daughter is now wearing all my clothes from last time I was skinny a few years ago.
This brings me so much joy, but also blows my mind. I can't believe I was ever so thin! And it wasn't even that long ago!
Absolutely! Great point. This is exactly why people of the Great Depression have such a tendency to hoard. There MUST be a balance or the blessing can turn to a huge burdenâŠ..stuff has to be stored and maintained. If it is costing more to do that youâre going backwards not forwardsđ
I know. I've always been poor and I can't make myself throw stuff away bc WHAT IF I NEED IT đ
@@lexibat7829 Those meaningful momentos would be the absolute hardest things to lose, in my opinion. I am a very sentimental person, and have things that are meaningless and worthless to other people that I wouldn't sell or give away for anything, if I could help it. I'm so sorry for the pain you feel at having lost things that meant a lot to you! Good to see that you are placing value on those things that truly are with you forever, though.
The way the cost of living is rising more often and in higher than ever increments, and the shortage problem in production and availability with seemingly everything may make replacing things harder, if not impossible going forward into the future. Not trying to be an alarmist, but it is certainly worth considering, particularly for people who are unable to work for whatever reason, and know that they they never will, for those who have disabling health issues, for example. It's really a matter of taking stock of your own situation and being honest with yourself to determine what is truly going to make for a happier, more productive life where you still have as much of what you need and want as realistically possible. If it causes more stress than it relieves by keeping things, then you are certainly wise to be rid of it, provided the chance of being able to replace it in the future is fairly certain should you need it again, just as you said. It's all about finding the balance, and that can look different for everyone.
I laughed at the âmurder mystery â cleaning. I have been a Flight Attendant for 30 years. I always clean/tidy my house before every trip⊠just in case??? đâïžđ€Ł
Wow, I admire you! I hate flying, Lol!
I clean before any trip because I love coming home to a clean house so all I have to worry about is unpacking.
I do the exact same thingâŠjust in case or because I want to come home to a clean and tidy homeâŠor a bit of both?
Me too! Coming home to a clean and tidy home after the red eye is so calming. And if anything happens (who knows?) allâs good. And yes as crew for 36 years it made my life easier. Now my husband adapts to this because I will be furious if there is chaos. And it sometimes is. Because he still lives there while I am away.
And this is why I love living in hotels with just the minimal things in my suitcase. So calming and freeing.
Lol đ
My grandmother used to have a professional photographer take her picture once a year- so she would have a good picture for her obituary! She was always giving her jewelry, her stuff, food away to us; she always wanted to see us smileâŠ.the idea of leaving us something after her death made no sense to herâŠ..we learned the joy of giving, the freedom from clutterâŠ..great video!
That is so awesome!
My favorite things about your channel that others hide: 1 - you don't edit out every single flub. 2 - you SHOW your clutter. I LOVE that you don't pretend to be miss perfect, which is why you are the only cleaning channel I watch on the regular.
I agree! 99% of people here in America have all sorts of useless junk hanging around in drawers, cabinets, boxes, and bins.
Well, this video is about clutter so she has to show us what sheâs talking about
When I was living in Japan at the start of the new year my neighbor would empty out their entire home of furniture/decor/etc like they had just moved into a new home and would clean the entire house and then clean the furniture/etc and put it back into the house. To someone like me who has TONS of clutter it was mind blowing but I've always thought it was the most amazing thing ever. That's one way to motivate yourself not to clutter if you know it'll just be one more thing to move out and back into the house every new years.
Brilliant idea đĄđ
My mom did this room by room in the spring...it was such a great feeling when the whole house was finished!
I can see how that method would work. We're use to things being "in their spot" that we become blind to it. To move/empty it out and then put it back you get in this mood of, "do I wanna do that? It's so much work. Maybe I just get rid of it?" And we might be less incline to put it back and we can declutter
WOW
Moving the furniture out by itself would take an entire day for me. I guess it's easier if you have somewhere to actually put any of your stuff. I mean did they put all their furniture in the wet grass? Or the road?
This is a really Scandinavian thing. In our culture talking about death and what happens after you're gone (legally, financially, materialistic, emotionally etc.) is pretty common. Some might call it morbid, but it's realistic and a sign of love to those you leave behind. All my grandparents did it, and usually the family participates. *Update* : My beloved mom has sadly died suddenly from aggressive cancer. On Christmas Eve 2022. Even before we knew of her disease, we did it, because our dad died in 2014, also from cancer. She was re-married a week before she died (to a man she was really in love with and had moved in with), so all the legal stuff was taken care of as well. All of that out of the way, it gives more time to grief and reflect, and for that I'm thankful.
I hope this becomes a more common practice around other parts of the world. Here in the US so many people aren't prepared and are overwhelmed by the logistics as well as their feelings at the same time.
It is not morbid, it is being thoughtful to your survivors.
I think it happens in more cultures than people think. My In-laws are doing this. The important thing is though.... the adult children are involved. My in-laws aren't purging items that were integral parts of their children growing up or that they might want. They're asking first. My MiL did however digitize all the family photos and video and then made a hard drive for each and a photo album. She had the kids already take their favorites from the different decor for the holidays. She sold a lot of the rest. I believe there's a time to accumulate and a time to downsize. When you're raising your babies and you're meant to be busy making memories isn't the time to be thinking about what to do with potential family heirlooms.
Not morbid at all IMHO. Makes perfect sense. It's very common in the US to avoid any thoughts or mention of death, and preparation for our eventual demise is minimal. I wish we could change it.
My daughter and I talk about it all of the time. I already have my headstone.
Your idea about making a loved one's clothing into a Christmas ornament is awesome!
It makes me happy to see a younger generation who gets this!
My generation, the one following the Great Depression and WWII is the worst!
We grew up with the mantra of âeverything may be needed one day â.
My attitude is if itâs in good shape and it âmay be useful â, I need to get it to the hands of the person who really needs it!
God has been so good to me. Something to eat, something to wear, why would he stop now?
I refuse to live in fear of lack.
I tend to be a frugal person and ask myself âdo I really want this?â
I donât believe in being morbid about buying new things that bring me joy either. I donât need to âpractice âdying.
I cleaned out my moms and mother in laws house three months apart. Spoiler alert, it wasnât bad at all.
My household donates at least four times a year.
I like the Marie kondo method too, âif it doesnât bring me joy, itâs got to goâ.
I had a quilt from my great grandmother made in 1908. It was falling apart and full of dust and decay. I took it apart, threw out the backing and filling, and cut the front part into squares for framing. I sent a bunch to all my relatives on her side, so we could all have a small piece of her.
What a great idea.
Thatâs beautiful and thoughtful
My grandmother embroidered pillowcases but back in the 1980's no one in the family wanted linens that didn't match the sheets so I took them all, cut off the embroidered sections & framed them. I then gifted each female decendant one as a keepsake. Still see them hanging in many of the homes today.
That's a wonderful idea.
My mom took an old moth-eaten quilt that her grandmother had made, and cut star shapes out of the good parts. She then turned them into Christmas ornaments and gave them out to family members.
Who's with me...
I'm the only one who does the cleaning in my house largely without appreciation. If I die, I have no problem with them cleaning up after me for a change đ€Ł
đ
Seriously though! đ€Ł
RIGHT!!! oh & put up a Christmas tree? Decorate? Sorry, but when you're the only one who puts it up and takes it down for 35 years (& don't forget the cleaning that has to happen before & after putting one up!) .... uh, its getting harder to "want" to do it .
@@kelliegray6088 Technology is catching up to people like us! Iâve seen predecorated pop-up trees that are beautiful, and outdoor projectors can take the place of outdoor lights.
So far, I only bought the projector, but the pop up might be an after-Christmas sale buy!
@@kelliegray6088Thank u for letting me know that I'm not alone! Their father puts up the lights, then the kids put up a few(literally 3 each) ornaments. I blink & I'm alone in a sea of ornaments & decorations!
The leather jacket story got me. How you got through that segment without losing it is a testament to your strength.
I on the other hand cried for youâŠ.
But, you are correct and I needed that honesty because I have a similar story. Son, not brother. đą
I have some of my late father's coats. He passed 15 years ago. My ex wore the winter one while I wore my mother's winter coat. I think I can get rid of dad's because it also reminds me of the narc. ex. I will still wear mom's coat. It is better than any of mine..
I'm so sorry about the loss of your son. I too lost a child. I still have all her things and cannot bear to get rid of them.
Her mentioning she wouldn't want homicide detectives seeing a cluttered home REALLY made me laugh pretty hard because I can relate! That was so funny & believable.
Me too đđđ
That's what I think of when I get ready for bed. What if I die in my sleep? I would be embarrassed in my past life seeing people coming into my chaotic, messy room đ
No one would ever know my home had been ransacked!
I cried through this entire video. My mother passed unexpectedly 6 weeks ago. She has horded 3 bedrooms full floor to ceiling and most of a 3 car garage. She loved to shop QVC, online and thrift stores. 2-3 days a week I've been going through everything. Donating half and going to sell the other half. Memories are being found everywhere. One of my favorites is a JCPENNEY catalog from 1983.
Anyway, this whole process has been so much work and my dad's house looks so torn up. I'm slowly getting him his house back and he's learning to live alone. đ
I'm sorry you have to deal with such a huge amount of stuff. It might be better to donate the majority of it because it will a: help others and b: make the process go more quickly.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Bless you and your family.
Aww im so sorry! Praying for you!!
Sorry for your lost, maybe your dad doesn't have to live alone. Consider having him move in with you.
I am going to throw this out there if it will help I could use clothes and I'm looking for a sewing machine I was ripped off on fb recently for a sewing machine i could pay for shipping
When my father passed suddenly at age 55, I inherited every item he owned. At the time, I had a three-year old and was ready to get pregnant again. My second child was born the year after his death, and I spent my children's precious early years combing through a mountain of stuff. It completely changed my perspective, and today I have no problem saying goodbye to any item that is not useful or beautiful. Let it go. Life is short and precious. Travel light.
Amen Travel light
That sounds so overwhelming. I'm really sorry for your experience đ
âštravel lightâš
Such a wise statement.
Thank you, Tricia.
@@natthebratster not easy, but oh, the lessons I learned
I have taken this concept to a whole other level lol!! We decided to sell and give away ALL of our worldly possessions and digitally store our memories to move overseas! We want a far more simple way of life without the burden of ownership of anything past clothes and ourselves.
I am the daughter of a hoarder and was left with a Condo, a house, garage, and apartment all hoarded out by the same two people. It has taken me since 2014 to get all their stuff sorted and out of my life. In 3 weeks I will be the owner of 3 suitcases and my body. Canât wait.
Good luck to all in their individual efforts to de-clutter their lives.
This is goals, but I'm overwhelmed by the process. Hope your new life overseas is going well!
Can you tell us how you did most of the selling?
At last, I have a hero! đ I'm de-cluttering, but souvenirs from trips with my late husband, and his clothing, have stopped me in my tracks. Still deciding.....
I've been thinking about buying this book. Recently, my mom started yet another round of home decluttering. She and my dad are in their late 60s, and she doesn't want her kids to eventually need to sort through everything they've ever owned. Ultimately, the idea of not burdening others with enormous amounts is such a practical, kind, and unselfish idea.
My family has always been "death positive". Planning, cleaning, etc so it's a smoother "transition".
We've just always done this. If someone is second guessing an item, it's usually followed by someone else saying, "CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YA!"
It does lead to a much less cluttered house. And we all kind of found "our thing".
Just one category of items, akin to a "collection" that we just don't feel guilty about keeping. One sister likes animals, one plants, my mother likes nice dining ware. Mine is tools. Clothes and tools is almost exclusively what I own.
It works out pretty great for our family.
Edit: since at least a few people saw this comment, I feel I should say... you shouldn't feel bound by having "extra" items. We all do too.
If you want a machine that dispenses cheese wiz into your mouth from your night table, then get it!
We're more along the lines of, "Don't fill your attic, basement and every closet with things you haven't seen in 5-10 years.
Nothing hurts more than having to bury a loved one then have to hire a dumpster to throw away your loved ones stuff.
One nightstand cheese wiz dispenser is NOT the end of the world...
Just don't have 24 of them đ
Your edit is hilarious. I'm cackling đ
I mean, if you are actually using the nightstand cheese wiz dispenser... if it is bringing you joy... then yes, keep it. đ€Ł
Amen!!debunked...!!! 60ft dumpster that I thought we'd never fill ended up overfill and extra charge after losing my brother in 2020. Lost of hours lost in putting multiple socket sets together and trying to fix garage tools before tossing. It is sad. When one is poor, we see value in everything. I'm not going to put my kids through the same. Donate, gift or toss is my new motto. Take a photograph for memory sake if need be. It's tough on survivors parting with what their loved ones held on to. Simplify. It's freeing. Now when my home is done, my mission is to help my momma. Lots of luck needed there. I literally found my old Disco dress in her attic. What does that tell ya...lol
Not debunked....stupid auto change! Not sure what happened there....
Contemplating the reality of our impending death⊠makes our lives today - that much sweeter. Poignant.
My family has a lot of heirloom pieces--antiques from the civil war and stuff. As folks fall off the wagon, the responsible members of the family have dwindled. I'm literally a lore keeper. The only one with a house for the things. Not that I mind the aesthetic, but I can't remember all the stories or why the things are important anymore. Some idiot child is going to throw them away while another would cherish them like I do. So I'm making a scrap book with a pic of the item and the story that goes with it. If they want it they can keep it and if they don't, the others still have the book.
Kudos for taking the time to write down why someone kept them in the first place. Your kids might keep up the interest since they have the stories. Many of the things in my family have lost the story. I still cherish alot of them because I just like antiques. But I sure wish I knew the story.
I am the keeper of the stuff, I don't mind some of the family things, but some aren't my taste, but I feel a responsibility x
Iâve asked my mom to do something similar! She has so many things with stories or from cool places and I could never remember them all! I keep urging her to do this bc I would hate to get rid of something that had value
Sounds like you should donate them to museums and local historical societies
Scrap book is a fantastic idea, thank you đđ»đđ»
Iâm from Sweden and had never heard of death cleaning lol. I am happy to know thereâs a word for the home project that Iâve been working on for the past few weeks. My husband thinks Iâm being a tad maniac, Iâll tell him thereâs actually a word for it đ
Same :X
So where did the phrase âSwedish death cleaningâ came from? đđ
One hangup for me is "Can I find another one like this?" It's hard to get rid of things that they don't make anymore or are really unique. It's easy to throw out old scraps of fabric and that type of thing but if it doesn't take up much space and it's not eating anything, its SO tempting to hang onto. These are the hardest decisions for me.
Same. Also, for me it's things like my German mother's 60 year old sewing box. Or her lamps. Her handwritten notes-to-self. Clothes that still smell like her. On and on and on. I'm very sentimental and have sooo much clutter to the point that house never really gets completely clean. Ever.
I totally get that, but⊠I think you'll feel better without the clutter. Maybe allow yourself one small box for irreplaceable items, and get rid of most of the rest⊠meh, sorry I could have put more thought and feeling into this.
â@@jenniferlloyd9574 I'd say keeping a few shirts or something isn't terrible it can be like a physical reminder of them like if your hang them up in your closet and you see it when you get dressed you remember good memories and stuff! Mabey learning to sew (for repairing clothes) could be a good way to use the supplies as I'm sure she would have loved to know it went to good use of even if someone else used it đ it is hard for sure to decide
This is a helpful question for me! I have a lot of stuff that I could get again, even if I couldnât afford it today. I hope you have found the right balance for your things â€
When I was young, we moved a lot, so we coined the phrase, "Clean like you're moving." We didn't want to ship stuff we didn't use, so it was easy to declutter, at least once a year, usually more often. Seems like the same idea, and really helps to keep "stuff" in proper perspective.
Same! I moved 8 times drought my childhood. I was so used to just getting rid of everything and moving that I made the decision to move out of my parents place, I was able to pack all my stuff in a day and be moved into my new house that evening
Love this video and the realness expressed here. Fun fact: In Germany (and other European countries perhaps) there is this habit of putting a box near the entry door of apartment houses in cities, and they label it "for free" and people just put small items like clothing or toys for their neighbours or people who are passing by. I love it!
We do this in my small village in England too :)
This must be new. We did not do that in my city (MĂŒnchen). Good idea though.
Hmmm my small village in England didnât but itâs a great idea!!!
@@glee_again2594 mine neither but we do have 12 charity shops instead!
I love that idea so much!!
My sister passed a few years ago and she was a âcollectorâ. It took us forever to clean out her house. After that I started to declutter so no one would have to do that for me. The kids are grown so when they come over I have them go through the boxâs I have ready to go.
When covid first hit and we are all in quarantine I did this with my sisters help. 3 years later I am right where I started (and waaayyyy more of what I had before). I got laid off in January and I am working on this at this very moment. I get so overwhelmed and my sister sees it but she knows it's something I have to do on my own for my own mental well-being.
Im from Sweden, and I had NO IDEA it was called "swedish death cleaning". I heard the concept last year from an older relative (She is 90 now) when she casually told me that she has finished her death cleaning. It sounded so scary to use that term for me, but I asked her about it and she explained. Its a really good thing, I have seen a lot of people clean out after relatives and how much it hurts them. Its really respectful to take care of your own stuff and not leave it on others who must do it while grieving.
Your Swedish pronunciation is pretty good for someone not learning the language
I'm from Sweden too, and I have never heard about "swedish death cleaning".
@@marlenealdalki4209 maybe the Swedes are the only ones that organised? : )
I think it's a play on Swedish Death Metal? Not sure why it is called Swedish
Im from sweden to. Never heard of it before đ
@@stephanieann9770 nah, i checked and its only cause the person creating the name "death cleaning" is swedish. So it has nothing with music to do đ đ
The book jackets make nice wall pictures in a frame. I picked my sons favourite books and framed the jackets and changed them seasonally or whenever. My son is 14 now and wants nothing to do with that now, but it was nice while it lasted.
That's so sweet!
That i such a great idea. :)
That's a great idea.
Iâm with Miles - book jackets are a pain. I take them off immediately. I love the idea of framing the jackets from meaningful books. Such a sweet idea.
Great idea!
Just purchased the book! My sister passed away almost a year ago from Covid and she and her teenage granddaughter lived with us and shared our spare bedroom. I had to call an ambulance for her and so many things had to be removed in order for the paramedics to take her out of the room. After she passed away we had the task of clearing out her room and it was horribly filled to the max with so many things! I have clutter and I hoard too but not to the extent of my sisterâs room. Iâm in my 70âs and have had this burden on my heart to rid my home of excess stuff and seeing the title of this book explains exactly what Iâm striving for! Thank you for sharing it!
I am 74 years old and have recently done the Swedish death cleaning. I feel so much better knowing my family wonât have this burden some day. I had a few items that were hard to let go of but in the end itâs the very best thing I did for my loved ones!
My heart stopped when you mentioned your brotherâs leather jacket! My brother, who was my favorite person, died in 1986 at the age of 29. The unbelievable grief consumed me for years. I held on to his leather jacket too! I finally let it go recently, along with the remaining few pieces of clothing of my deceased mother. I had to have a friend put the clothing in bags and take them out of the house without me watching. At that moment I felt a rush of emotions, but once my friend removed the bags of clothes and reaffirmed to me that I was doing the right thing, I calmed down. I let myself feel that my memories of them are more important than the clothes they left behind. It wasnât easy, but I gained a sense of control over how I want to honor and remember them, and I realized holding on to the clothes was, in part, me holding on to the grief. Thank you so much for sharing your story; how amazingly healing it is to know that someone else went through the same emotions over letting go of the same item: their brotherâs leather jacket. Thank you.
Wow. Your so brave for going through with it. How are feeling now it's been some time?
Thank you for your bittersweet story. I can relate a lot. My husband died in 1986 when I was quite young, and I had his leather jacket. One day I found a partially smoked pack of cigarettes in his pocket, which somehow stung me even more. Right now I have been gradually cleaning my mom's house, and am still dealing with her prolific clutter.
Weâre starting to get ready to retire and move in a few years so weâre starting to clean out the extra stuff. I still have Momâs box of stuff her work brought us from her office after she died. Itâs been taped up in the garage attic for 21 years. When we clean the garage this spring Iâve told my husband just to get rid of it without me knowing. I still canât do it myself.
â€ïž
I would never get rid of that. Brave!
I'm 63 and did this a few years ago. I even set up "Dee's Dostadning" Ebay, Paypal and Google accounts to sell my extra stuff that had any value. There is still quite a bit of stuff, but it is stuff I use. My 5 thirty-something kids plan to take what they want when I'm gone and give away the rest. I'm fine with that. We've gone over what's valuable that they might want to sell. I did almost die twice in the last 10 years. So, I've thought a lot about what my kids will need to know when I do go. On top of "Death Cleaning", I filled out the workbook "I'm Dead. Now What?" and gone over it with each kid. I also have a will, living will and advance directives.
Wow. Just wow.
Where did you get the work book, or did you make it yourself? Sounds a great idea to me đ€
@@pammorris7182 Amazon sells it. I use the one with the blue cover. Rather than write in the book, I have a Google Doc document for each section shared with each of my 5 offspring and my husband. That way, I can edit as I need. I do print the page and paper-clip it inside the workbook.
Bravo to you for taking care of this stuff in a practical manner BEFORE something happens to you. I just had to struggle through my in -laws estate because the person who knew everything (but is incredibly unorganized) died first. No one EVER thought she would be first. So no one knew where anything was. Or what banks they used. Or what had been paid. The electricity nearly got shut off because of confusion and inefficiency. And don't get me started on the clutter that they didn't address.
I literally just saw that workbook (Iâm Dead, Now What) on Amazon tie other day and intend to get it. Iâm only 55. I want my kids to be âin the knowâ when the time comes.
We just recently went through a total basement cleaning and re-organization. I have come to the realization that if I havenât used it in two years, itâs best to get rid of it. The whole process has been quite cathartic!
My great grandmother grew up in the depression, and so she had trouble letting go of things for a long time. However, when she was in her 80s and living in a small apartment, she had one shelf of personal items. That was it. And so after she passed at 99, my grandfather and his brother had very little stuff to deal with. I think it granted them some closure that they would not have to drag out the whole situation until all of her belongings had been dealt with, because it was just done.
This is so cool. I have done this without knowing it's a thing with a definition. I even have an "in case I get hit by a bus box" with all my important documents, photos of me that I'd want my friends and fam to use in my funeral, my CV so they know a timeline of my career path and accomplishments, and a book called "I'm dead, now what?" It tells people all your passwords, instructions for your debts and personal belongings, etc etc etc in order to make it easier on your friends and family. Through that process, I've gotten rid of a LOT of things!!! I related when you said it's a freeing process. I felt so many fears about unexpectedly dying, and doing this preparation at 29 yrs old made me feel so much better, knowing everything is in order. I was surprised how less afraid of death I am because I've done so much preparing.
That's a good thing.
What comes to my mind: I hope you don't wrote down really important things like passwords or pins from cash accounts, in case housebrakers find it. For that it's possible to register a responsible person at your bank.
(I hope the vocabulary is understandable.)
My grandma when she passed even had her obituary written. We didn't find it in her Bible till later tho unfortunately. But years before she passed any time someone got her a gift or said they liked something she put a piece of masking tape on the back with their name. Did make things easier when time came
I'd worry too much that, if the house was broken into, my identity could be stolen...?
Aeesome ! Well done. Iâm 62 & am still working on it !!
You did all that, now youâre gonna out live everyone and die at 102 years old lol đ
I went through this same thing with my 90 yr old 'hoarding ' mother. She's had to move into an adult community and we had to sell her home. She kept everything and has expected me to make the decision to get rid of her items. Her items include antiques, clothing from my dead Grandmother, Great Aunt, paternal Grandparents, and father...and genealogy material, fabric items, and paperwork as far back as 1960's. It was insane and she was very mean to me during this process. It had to happen but she didn't want to do it. The struggle was real. Love this video and the honesty!!! UNburden your family!!
So sorry you had to go through that - it sounds awful! Hopefully we can make the experience not as bad for our kids/friends/whoever has to deal with out stuff! Take care and look after yourself đ
That would have been very unpleasant. One thing I keep in mind is older people come from an era where you kept everything in case you needed it, or it was expensive or hard to get. I think its also hard for some to let go of their old life and admit those days are gone. I hope you've recovered from the experience.
Thank you for your kind words.
My grandparents moved into an assisted living community before the pandemic and several of my family members were trying to get their house ready to sell and my grandma was literally pulling things out of the garbage and trying to keep them. I had to hide bags of garbage in my car to get rid of at another location. She was saving things like broken glasses, flower seed packets that weren't good anymore, receipts that were 20+ years old, scraps of paper she had written on that weren't needed anymore. Most of the work couldn't be done until they had moved out and she was basically banned from going back into the house because she kept trying to "rescue" stuff. Their kitchen cabinets were full of expired canned food, dry goods, and baking supplies because she couldn't really cook anymore and they mostly ate frozen dinners. My FIL is an even worse hoarder than my grandparents and I am not looking forward to doing that again đ„
Love and Support for doing the hard things! So often thankless, they are still necessary and the foundation we build upon.
That is so sweet that your mother made ornaments from your father's shirts! That's a really cute idea. My sister passed away growing up & years later I still have all of her stuff! I feel like I'm ready to let it go now.
I do think this is a cool idea. Although when my family cleaned out my grandpa's house after he was gone, we found all kinds of neat things. Sure he had a lot of junk, but it was fun to laugh about and talk about how he was. I don't look at going through a loves ones things as a burden, but I can definitely see how it could be for others
âWe have so many methods for things to come into our house and very few methods for things to leave our houseâ...thatâs so true! Never thought of it that way!
I have a close friend whose father passed away two years ago. He cleaned out his whole house in advance so when the time came for my friend and her brother to do the cleaning after he passed, it was no clutter left, which was amazing for them so they could focus on their grief instead â€
My mother had us girls come over and help her get rid of all her clothing in May. She had me get rid of all her winter sweaters and clothing. I said mom,these are your winter clothes.
She said nothing.
She knew she wasn't going to be here by winter.
She died on June 23rd.
We had done all the clearing out of everything but her jewelry.
@@robinluich6626 I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad that you at least got to spend some time with her that way, even if it was "just cleaning". My mother passed away in 2015, so I know that it sucks so hard, but it will get easier, I know from experience â€
I strive to do this for my son, but I struggle! I wish!
@@marilyns2353 I understand that it's really hard... If you try to do one small area at a time, starting with the simplest ones, the clutter will slowely but surely disappear. But I have full respect that going through decades of things and memories is tough, especially if you are sick â€
@@emelielindstroem Life is bittersweet.
The part about what if detectives went through your apartment⊠I FEEL THIS EXACT WAY. I live alone so itâs literally driven me to never leave my apartment with my bed unmade. Even if the hampers in my closet are overflowing I feel this obligation to leave behind an apartment that on a walkthrough says âshe seems to have had her s**t together.â I always blamed watching too much law and order đ
It's like "always have on clean underwear in case you're in an accident".
Dear Kallie: I think this video is my all time favorite. I have been on a de-cluttering campaign for about 6 months and the feeling I get when I open a cupboard or drawer that Iâve completed lasts and lasts. Your brotherâs leather jacket story is one that touched me deeply. This past month I âlet goâ of my Momâs china, keeping a divided vegetable serving piece. It was enough, I didnât need everything else that took up two bins in my house. I bask in her memory. Thanks.
I come from a Swedish back ground on my mom's side. Swedes are living in such close quarters they have to de-clutter because there is no room for anything that doesn't work. They are also not very sentimental (as a rule), so getting rid of things is not a problem. They are also very frugal as a rule, therefore they don't want to part with their money for things they don''t need or doesn't have a function.
Thank you for the video!
Makes sense.
Thank you for the explanation! This makes sense.
What do you mean that Swedish people live in such close quarters?
Well, this is such a stereotypical way of thinking about other cultures. To base a description of a whole community on one or couple of individual one has met will rarely be true for the majority. Please be careful, as this kind of sweeping statements can often be offensive to the members of community one tries to describe. I hope you have a lovely day, wherever you might be right now đ
@PamelaSertich... Uh.. As a Swede, living in Sweden (mind you, my parents are finns... But born and bred here)... I DO NOT agree with what you 'explained' above here. We actually have quite spacious and big living quarters, unless you choose to live smaller. Of course, could be a matter of money too, and whether you live in a big city or smaller.
And Swedes spend their money quite well, but it's all up to the individual. My husband is frugal, my ex was INSANELY frugal ("snÄl", rather) and me, I like spending. And everyone I know is somewhere in between, or up to hoarder-level.
Cuz we're normal people here. A bit more level headed than some other cultures (prob due to the cold..?? Or we're just boring people..? Oh wait, I generalized. There's some cool folks here too!), but normal. Cultural differences compared to someone in the US, definitely, but still normal. People, you know. With personalities and differences and such. =)
Also: I've never heard of DöstÀdning. Döds stÀdning, yes, but that happens after someone has passed. DöstÀdning sounds like when you're having a jolly boring time while cleaning.
Edit: Looked into the "döstÀdning" =) It seems to have been invented, or at least popularized by Margareta Magnusson. So quite a modern concept, or possibly something that has been forgotten for generations/in some places (many...) and then Maggan brought it back to us. Yay!
This might seem over the top: I had a "sentimental bonfire" in a fire ring at the beach to help me part with correspondence I couldn't bring myself to get rid of. I wanted to give it a ceremonial departure. Shredding or tossing in the trash seem too harsh. It was beautiful. I'm so glad I did it.
I have done this as well Barbara!
Thank you for this idea.
Yes a bit over the top bit what a fabulous idea! I have a hard time parting with cards and correspondence đ€
Beautiful! Love this idea. There is something to say about having connections with your things (I am very attached to lots) ... some items deserve a proper departure â€ïž
If it worked for you, it wasn't over the top. I think it is a lovely way to honor the sentiments.
Bonus point: all the secrets and evidence are gone.
I so rarely comment on videos but this was just A1. Very realistic examples of the struggles of letting items go and the mental gymnastics we perform to (usually incorrectly) convince ourselves that our lives are enhanced by hanging onto random things.
That sounds like such a freeing way to look at decluttering and the REASONING behind it. I liked when you said - if you werenât here tomorrow, what would you want to leave behind? Sobering⊠But also freeing. Thank you! đ
I had never heard of this before, but it makes a lot of sense. When my sweet mother passed away there was a lot of junk, but the napkins in her coat pocket or the toothpicks in her car would take my breath away with the vivid memories washing over me. But obviously I'm not keeping the toothpicks. So my solution was to write it down in a dedicated journal the memory attached to it. Then thank the item profoundly for being useful or bringing joy to my mom, and then say goodbye or release it so it could bring joy to someone else. I got to keep the memories, but not the objects. And saying goodbye to the things over and over again meant I could say goodbye to her a little bit at a time.
And photos. I use a photo scrapbook, then let others take and use the actually things.
OregonVirginia! what a unique idea. I love this. Then the written memory book itself also becomes a keepsake. When the time comes, my son will enjoy reading my thoughts and memories of his nana. I've got 4 female generations of memories in this brain so he better get ready đ đ
@@SayLeeLee Itâs an amazing idea! I hold onto things for sentimental value and the memories the item sparks.
For anyone coming in after the fact and interested in trying something that works, the above is a small part of the KonMari Method. Read the book. She has a series on Netflix now, but read the book.
Love this idea!!
I didnât know this was a cleaning âsystemâ! My dad just passed away in September and while he didnât have a lot, it made my mom and I both think about all the crap that we have that everyone would have to go through⊠which is a lot! It triggered a mass declutter of both our homes.
I am sorry for your loss.
Hello! Swede here :) I've been thinking a lot about this kind of cleaning since my mom passed in July -21. It took months to sort out all of her stuff: what to keep, what to sell, what to give away and what to throw away. It was a very heavy process for me and my sister and it really changed my perspective to the core. Thank you for doing this video :)
P.S I used to teach Swedish to immigrants so I just can't help myself: à is pronounced like the "u" in "burn". à is pronounced like the "a" in "bad": Dö-stÀd-ning :)
Oh my goodness. The ornaments made from a loved ones clothing is the most wonderfully thought out way of repurposing. Since my grandmothers passing 7 years ago Iâve been holding onto a few articles of clothing, Iâll never wear them, but Iâll sure as shit hang ornaments on my tree for years to come. Christmas was also her favourite holiday so it just fits. You just sparked some creativity in me, THANK YOU! â„ïž
Same here. Lost my mom last year; been hanging onto some of her clothing Iâll absolutely never wear, but couldnât bring myself to toss out. Iâm so grateful for that one idea of transforming cherished fabric into a Christmas ornament. Thank you so much for helping me discover permission to move on while treasuring the past.
I made Christmas ornaments years ago from my grandmothers quilt. I and my daughter both still use them
Absolutely agree!! Iâll be doing this this week. đ
When my Grandpa passed away several years ago, my sister sewed some of his favorite plaid shirts into pillow covers for throw pillows! My sister, mom, and I each picked a shirt that matched our decor and it has been a wonderful way to honor him. I know throw pillows aren't functional in everyone's home, but I find it a lot more useful than a large men's shirt in my closet that I'd never wear lol.
I make christmas ornaments ( drums which is traditional here in Denmark) from leather and fabrics and suggest to my customers to use sentimental items. from sentimental clutter to treasured keepsakes. I made a tiny drum with the first tooth my son lost. he is now 21.
Kallie! I actually have that book on my Amazon wish list. I am 70 (and still very cute, mind you) but I am aware of the â it could happen at any
Timeâ issue as I am an only child with NO living relatives and dependent on wonderful friends. I am, however, aware that those wonderful friends will bear the burden of turfing the amassed possessions of my life. I recently told one of those friends to secretly pitch the contents of my underwear drawer (referencing the murder mystery/having left the building idea never to return thing) because while the underwear is certainly clean and serviceable it isnât particularly a legacy of what I would like my public persona to be remembered by (dangling preposition notwithstanding). My one particular friend is the executor of my so-called estate and she will be the one stuck with dealing with the whole sorry mess. So I try to think of her when I survey the amassed pile of possessions that in part live in my basement. Mind you, they are labelled and in plastic containers. I have a label maker. Sigh. Now and again, I try to follow this philosophy so I gather things of a like nature, organize them on shelves and move to the next âthingâ. But, it simply becomes the basement dance or docey-do (sp.?). One of the things that stops me âgetting ridâ is that inevitably two weeks after I have done so, I find a CZcams entry that demonstrates how I could have turned that thing into an amazing crafty extravaganza. But, yes. Just GIVE IT UP! The stuff you accumulated when you were establishing yourself as an adult in 1976 is the stuff no one you know necessarily wants which is fair dues. Personally I should never bring anything new into the house unless I get rid of an old never-has-seen-the-light-of-day-in-a-year item beforehand. I think it may be physics and eventually the house could explode.
Oh dear! Long story longer! Whew! Quite the therapy session, Kallie! But a reality check nonetheless. And so true. So you have inspired me to try to minimalize my executor friendâs horror by addressing this issue. The murder mystery element of what would confront those left behind if I were to abruptly meet my end on a Wednesday night theme causes one to pause, possession-wise, in a serious way. I am off to get my label maker! And ⊠I know I am not alone.
As a result, you must know that I have thoroughly enjoyed this particular vlog of yours because it hits home completely!
Loved your words of wisdom...and the still figuring it out part too!đ
And enjoyed your great style of writing too! Greetings from Russia and God bless. I will keep you in my prayers tonight.
I loved reading your comment, thank you :)
You know, I think I'll be telling a close friend or family member to do the same thing with my underwear when my time eventually comes, too! đ
Beautifully written sentiments! You have inspired me & I just adore the personality shining through your comment!
I didnât expect this video to make me cry and then laugh within the same 30 seconds. I needed this so badly
My mother suddenly passed away this week and as much as she believed she had downsized, decluttered and prepared - we are now 3 days into the clean up of just her retirement village home. I chuckled to myself when this popped up on youtube today. If only we accept that the day will comeâŠ..but we all like to hold onto everything âjust in caseâ and being prepared for anything. I dont like to think of my mum as a hoarder but i think after this week i will finally revisit all the boxes i stuffed in the loft last time i moved- and this video will help me with my decisions
I almost spit my coffee out when you talked about the tampons all over the place. My ex wife and I have three daughters very close in age. So for several years there were tampons and pads all over the place. Including but not limited to my truck, toolbox and my dresser drawer.
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Charles OâNeal, you sound like a great Dad!!
đ€Ł life with women lol!
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@@loriyoung-flores6246 I do love my girls.
This is interesting. I'm turning 70 this year. I was a Horder for many years and had a hard time letting go of things. I lost my job and had to move from a 4 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom, so began my first Purge and letting go. It was harsh but I realized I was helping others out by giving stuff away (I hate yard sells, basically you're giving things away at a small price anyway but with more trouble). I let go of 3-4 truck loads of furniture and more. I moved to the 2 bedroom. Times got even tougher and was ending up having to move to a 1 bedroom, I had the bedroom and my son had the living room. As I was letting go of more things told my son to take things to the trash (lucky for us the dumpster was empty) as we put things by the dumpster (not in it yet) we came out and the place was full of people, they were asking why are we throwing out good stuff. Can't take it with us was my reply. Soon more people came and started cleaning up the outside dragging off so much stuff. A guy asked if we had anything else and I handed him a George Forman grill still in the box. I knew I would never use it. This was over 12 years ago. Now today I still have to much things. Last year 2021 was very strange, I am still in awe, I had 6 family members die none from covid. I almost died too from pneumonia. I made it with the help of my son (he took off of work to take care of me), thank God. It made me realize that I need to do that death cleaning cause I accumulated more and let my son help me go through this stuff right now not by himself when I'm gone, just get rid of stuff he wouldn't want at the end. It is a chore and I have a tendency to put it off. Maybe we can make a game of it. I didn't know that a book was written about death cleaning. Good video.
đđđđ Very very admirable - I wish my mother and Aunt could do this. Hoarding not only can increase healthy issues b/c of all of the accumulated dirt and dust that they canât get too, but spiritually it weighs and burdens them down. My aunt refuses to let anyone in her house. You are sooo strong to overcome this - I believe it is truly an addiction, creates maybe a sense of safety? You are amazing!!!
I agree I have a problem with hoarding and I don't know how to move on. Your comments and this video are striking a chord.
đŻâ€ïž For all yours comments above.
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure it was so hard. Wishing you the very best moving forward!
Iâm going through this now. In the past five years we lost my mother, my father in law, our only son to suicide, and in January my husband of 34 years. I already have a significant collection of stuff from my lovely mother in law 25 years ago. Add in the beautiful things from each loved one (as well as not so beautiful things) and my house is overflowing. Itâs all in closets or extra rooms, but I feel so burdened. For some reason I feel a responsibility to honor the memories of others. It meant something to them so how can I just throw it away? Well, I have to sell my home now. I canât afford to stay here on my income alone. Iâm moving across the country to be closer to my other children and grandchildren. My 22 year old daughter lives with me. We are selling, giving, and tossing so much stuff. I still feel like Iâm keeping too much. The idea of leaving this to others helps motivate me. The video is awesome.
I am Swedish American, and I totally understand this every year I do a purge of my house and I feel so good! You can actually find the things that you love so much faster and I appreciate the mower. â€
For the book jackets, get the extra large zip lock bags from the dollar store. When you first get a new book put all the jackets in the plastic bag. Depending on the size you will get from 7 to 20 jackets in one zip lock bag. Later when you pass the book on it makes a nicer gift.
When I was young, my grandmother told me she was planning to get rid of all of her old diaries, photos and letters as she didn't want anyone else reading them after her death. Being in my twenties at the time, it sounded very strange to me even bit cruel to the memories of her past. But now I understand completely why she did it. I have also shredded old diaries, letters, pictures of old boyfriends/places/parties I don't want my children to see. I didn't realise it was called "death cleaning" but it does free you from the past mistakes whether those are bad memories written in the pages of diaries or just fashion related horrors in your closet.
We recently cleaned out my mother in law's house when she went into a nursing home. Oh. My. Word. No way do I want my kids having to do that! So I am on a mission to declutter every inch of my house from top to bottom!
YES! This is exactly my feelings after having to clean out my parents' home. I love my children too much to give them this burden.
Agree completely - I began decluttering after helping clean out my parents home after my mother died
I am just a few minutes in, but seeing how many book jackets were in that basket made my heart soar because it means these kids get read to A LOT. Yeah, the crumpled up covers kinda hurts a little bit, but the main thing is truly the reading together part. đ
Having been on the brink of death several times when I was in my 30s, I often think about my loved ones having the burden of going through my stuff if I pass. I hate my clutter. If it's overwhelming to me, I can only imagine what it would be like for someone else to sort through. I want better for me and the legacy I leave behind.đ
Decluttering when you are older is not just for when you die. I had an illness, surgery, mobility issues for over a year. An ambulance crew had to come in a couple times, I had extra equipment, nursing care. As soon as I was well I decluttered a crap ton. I see lots of old people who just physically can't keep up with rhe stuff.
I thought you might like to know that your video made a difference in my life today. I have a child who suffers with chronic pain, due to multiple rare genetic disorders. Last night we were up till the wee hours with him and this âmorningâ I woke up at noon. I immediately felt that my day was wasted and my life is out of my control. I clicked on your video, just randomly, while I was getting dressed and it inspired me to declutter my bathroom! This may sound silly, but it made me feel like I had accomplished something of value, and in some small way, took control of that one small space in my life. đ So, thanks for taking the time to create and post it! đ
You're doing so great †Take care! đ
I definitely understand how you feel and how hard everything is and even that there is nothing anyone can say that can make things better âŠbut I absolutely DO understand that cleaning just one little area can be uplifting to the spirit⊠itâs like you have visible proof that you DID something. Iâm saying this as an adult with âgeneticâ issues and who lives in what looks like a hoarder house right now. I feel like Iâm just moving things around to another room just to make one little space look okay (which is really NOT helping the actual problem) but I really CAN relate to having to do something whatever at all that I can visibly SEE. Sending you the most positive vibes and love đ
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Hyperbaric oxygen therapy may helpđ«¶đŸ
Talking about whether or not to get rid of the kid stuff because you may have another kid, I can tell you I had a girl, then a boy, then I sold all the stuff at a yard sale thinking I was done. Three weeks later I found out I was pregnant and had to go re-buy all the baby/toddler stuff. I recommend holding on to it for a little while before ditching it.
I am from Sweden, and I absolutely love your video! :-) It is so pracitcal and done with so much humour, that the message comes through so much stronger. I am absolutely convinced that your video have helped a lot of people getting an easier, happier, and more managable life. All the best, Magnus in Sweden.
Iâm really having to get past the âin case we need itâ type of thinking. My family didnât have much growing up and my parents were sometimes barely able to keep food on the table⊠so we threw away very few things. Even things we werenât currently using, because the chances of us being able to afford replacing at item in the future was slim⊠but now that Iâm more financially stable and able to replace certain items if necessary, I still struggle to let go of things (why spend money on a new one, when I can just keep the one we already have in storage?) đ©
If it cost less than ÂŁ20 to replace... get rid of it
Trust me if u don't use it now u won't use it in the next week, month, year
Anything u haven't used in 1 year get rid of it !
I think it's good to keep usable things, but I guess problems come when you have so many things in general that it get's harder to keep track of what you have and don't have. So even if you had the item you needed, you might not find it through all the stuff, and then you'll go shopping for a new one. And the cycle continues.
This is my family 100%. I still have totes and boxes in my apartment that were never unpacked and we've been here like 12 years and readying to move again in six months...I haven't laid eyes on let alone used this stuff so it's got to go. Our new place will be shared with 2 more people as we're combining households and there's no way I'm paying rent on a storage unit or renting and white-knuckle driving a larger moving truck for things that aren't being used or worth the additional cost of storing, transporting and taking up the limited space we have only to be moved again in a few years.
Same. 100%.
I like to keep a "maybe" boxes with stuff that I think I might still maybe use in the future. Then I label it with the date of today and put it in a place out of sight.
About 2 times a year I will go through those maybe boxes. Didn't use something for over a year? Then I can get rid of it.
Every item I have in my house that I don't use is costing me space, it's costing me time to go through it over and over again, it's costing me time to clean and so on.
So even if I paid money for it at some point, it will be cheaper in the long run to get rid of it.
First I ask my friends and family of they use it. What's left is sold if it's over 10âŹ, the rest goes to charity or the dumpster.
Here's why I love your channel: boldly starting the video with "we are all going to die." đ Thanks for being so honest with your own decluttering efforts, and with two little kids and a rather small home you are amazing!!
Thank you so much I'm so glad your enjoy the videos â€ïžâ€ïž
I didn't even realize it until you brought it up. That's hilarious!!! đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł I love a person who can pull off morbid humor well!!
I especially liked the idea behind the cat ornaments. I have a lot of mementos from my parents, being their only child. It would be great to hear more ideas for turning unused memorabilia into useful keepsakes.
Ok, as a guy when I first started watching this I was like, "nope. Probably won't be able to deal with this one." But I fast forwarded past the intro and really found myself enjoying the rest of the video. As a fellow parent, she is very relatable and I got a lot out of the vid. Thanks
I was an executive for an elderly friend of mine that lived in the same house for over 60 years. First thing I did was have the family come and remove and document everything they took that they truly wanted. Then the paper shredder I literally shred it all her years worth of unimportant utility bills house payments etc. she had cards and bills that she had saved she never threw away anything. Then I brought in the dumpster and had to throw away couches that had mice infestation in them and 60 years worth of junk. Finished up her taxes. I was able to honor her will. I was able to leave the home clean for the grandchild that took care of her in her later years which she left in the will to be able to stay in the same home. A living will.
Ugh.
Executor
I worked in a National Trust Castle and some of the most fascinating items there are the bills and invoices that give us so much insight into life centuries ago (including bills and invoices from the 1300s). Somebody 'hoarded' them! Historians and museum curators are eternally grateful to hoarders.
You are a saint to have that much patience. I'm 68 years old, I'm always shredding and tossing, as I never want my sisters burdened with what you are describing.
Six years after the death of my 97-year-old father, I still have loads of his stuff. 8 years after the death of my 94-year-old mother, I still have boxes of jewellery, clothing and things, which my wife will never wear. Watching this reinforced my resolution not to burden my kid with useless stuff he wonât need or want. Iâve been divesting myself of it slowly, but youâve given me a push to accelerate that process-obviously itâs been on my mind, since I clicked on this video. Thanks for it.
sell burn or trash it
Did you get it done? Just wondering. God bless.
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đłWow. Heartless much? đ @$$â©ipâŹ
@@happysunnyrain1531 your treasure is TRASH to your family and all others in society. it is a BURDEN. we all must die and leave our gold behind even those idiot pharaohs who actually tried to take it to the afterlife with them. the greed of humans is insane. beyond insane.
That's crazy. Clinging onto junk for some psychological reasons. Are you a hoarder? Call a charity to come get it ALL or get a dumpster.
This is the first time I am hearing of this Swedish death cleaning. I've always liked to keep my filing cabinets organized and toss out old useless papers and donate things that don't serve me anymore. It's good to keep this type of cleaning up because I wouldn't want to burden anyone with too many files, clothes, belongings. Speaking of I think it's about time for another go around of decluttering.
Omg im 67 and have been doing this subconsciously for two years, thanks for sharing
I really like wrapping my head around the concept of âmaking someone else happyâ by giving âthe somethingâ away. Not too long ago I donated my beautiful handcrafted leather hippy briefcase (given to me as a birthday present by my mother) that I used to tow around with me travelling all over Canada đšđŠ. I was is visual presentation. A creative jet setter back then! After children + retiring, I knew I would never need the case again + holding onto it âfor the kidsâ, didnât make me feel any better about tucking it away in the closet. đł But⊠as soon as I thought about someone else âfinding + lovingâ my hippy briefcase⊠I couldnât give it away fast enough. I donated as fast as I could to our local Salvation Army. I still have a big smile on my face when I think about it now. A story continues⊠đâ€ïžđđœ
One of my Grandadâs favourite sayings was âthere are no pockets in a shroudâ. This used to give me the creeps thirty years ago, but he was right! đ
My favorite saying is "The hearse doesn't have a luggage rack!" But I have a lot to declutter. I started 2 years ago at 66 and it is getting physically harder to deal with my clutter. I am an artist and have collections of old frames and other items. I am going to buy the book when I get off here. I love this gal though, she is so sweet and positive. Happy New Year!
Lol there is a spare tampon sitting on my dresser rn and has been there for a few weeks while decluttering.
On a more serious note, Iâve been finding your videos really helpful and have begun a cleaning journey and I have even used the thought, âthis would make someone happy to have.â Thank you for your down to earth approach, non judgmental attitude and not being a Minimalist which I think has kind of turned me off to decluttering in the first place. I always felt like decluttering had to be this huge thing where Iâd have to pair down to two tops and two pairs of pants, in either beige or black. (Not anything wrong with that, just not for me.) itâs so exciting having room in my closet for clothes I actually wear, and not just collecting dust and taking up valuable space.
Keep up the good work and inspiration.
Just learned about this term today, May 23, 2023. I have an extreme clutter and hoarding problem, but I've managed to throw some things away. The only problem is, I keep buying more. I wanted to learn more, and your explanation and approach makes it seem doable. I don't have children, or nieces and nephews. My cousins won't want this stuff, so yeah. Now is the time to get rid of it and breathe a little easier.
You touched my heart when you talked about your brother and his jacket. My son passed away 30 years ago and just last year I threw away things I was hanging on to, I still have the memories and I feel good about giving away those things to people who really wanted them. Thank you đ
Iâm sorry about your son Diane that must have been extremely painful.
This comment choked me up for some reason. Very happy you were able to keep the memories while allowing his things to be shared with other to make them happy.
How long did you keep your sons items ,I can not get rid of any of.my sons things
@@quietmom6626 Some of his clothes I donated right after he died to children in a third world country, I sent several boxes with missionaries. Slowly through the years I gave his things away to a child with cancer or a family that was in need. It was what my son would want me to do. I had so many toys, I just didnât want to give them to a charity because I didnât know who would get them or where they would end up, so I auctioned them off on EBay at a high price knowing the recipients were looking for those particular items and they were needed for a special reason, maybe collectible, those toys would be cared for and cherished and that made me happy. Everyone is different in their grieving process, there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. You do what comforts you. Sending hugs to youâ€ïž
Thank you
Iâm an estate & trust manager, part of my job is to transfer properties to beneficiaries, so we have to ensure the home(s) get cleaned out after the family member(s) passes. Our firm works with estate liquidators to sell as much as possible. However, I donât know how many photos, figurines, clothing, Xmas and random items weâve had to throw away because the family & thrifts/charities want NONE OF IT!!!
The amount of money spent on dumpsters and the items going into the landfills breaks my heartâŠ.a lot of this can be avoided if people would face facts that death is a reality and let things go earlier, when these items still have value to others/thrifts, so they will accept them, & not be forced to dump them! I just stumbled upon your video - and this Death Cleaning process is a great idea! I hope people try this!!
We also work with hoarders and other special needs anxiety disorders, we work with the Marie Kondo methods, but Iâm going to try this idea tooâŠGreat video! Thank you for sharing this infoâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
Oh yess!! â€ïž KonMarie đđ„° "does it spark joy!"âšïž
Photos, figurines and random items usually are specific joy sparking items my grandmother collected chicken decor it sparked joy in her she loved it most ppl donât or her weird ant picnic paintings they are even weirder than the chickens you canât value what gets tossed because other people donât want it against what that person saw as their value before they died
Thanks for the info
Well as long as Iâm alive why shouldnât I enjoy the fruits of my labor? Just trash it all after I die, is that so complicated? It will end up in the dump eventually no matter whatđ€·đœââïž
You may feel that way about it, and perhaps youâve already done this with someone elseâs stuff. If so Iâm sorry for your loss but glad you found the practicalities easy. But even if itâs not something you understand, the fact is that for many people itâs really difficult. Sometimes itâs because they struggle emotionally to throw things out, since those things are tangible attachments to their loved one. Sometimes itâs just tiring, often grief alone is tiring and thereâs so many decisions have to be made with funeral planning, the will etc. So having to make a lot of decisions about what to keep, what to donate, and what to dump on top of dealing with all that is actually exhausting for many people
I had never heard the term Swedish Death Cleaning until a friend of mine mentioned it to me when I got on this declutter kick about 5 years ago. I have two sons in their 20's and did not want to burden them with my stuff when its my time. I had helped 3 gal pals who needed a hand in moving which were jobs itself lol and then helped some family members clean out their mother's house after she passed about 3 years ago and that was a big time eye opener. I definitely didn't want that for my sons. Thanks for your perspective on this subject, Kallie đ
Wow, this was so good. I've had a huge week and I'm spending today at home, trying to declutter my cookbooks and bits of paper with recipes - for someone who doesn't like to cook it's ridiculous. But watching this has really inspired me, thank you.
Until recently I thought Swedish death cleaning was getting super caffeinated and cleaning or going through stuff until you are done or until you pass out. Seriously. I finally looked more into it and come to find out itâs the exact thing I have been struggling with since moving in with and being my parents caregiver. (both of whom have since passed in recent years).
So glad I wasnât the only one lol and so glad it makes so much sense now. Now to go through their stuff and mine. đ€
Too funny. The struggle is real, right? I often tell people, I'm not done decluttering, downsizing, etc, until I'm dead. Seriously. Hahaha. Keep after it. We're getting there.
That's what I thought at first too đ
Donât forget the death metal!
I've found that if I say "mother's round table", then it is something I probably should let go of. Otherwise I say "my red coffee pot" (that I inherited).
I inherited that table 2008, was able to give it away in 2020.
When my Mother moved in with me after my Father died, she came with very little, just her clothes, a few small pieces of antique furniture that she used in the room I had prepared for her, and a box of personal mementos from her life with Dad. Luckily, for me, both of my parents disliked clutter and, I remember growing up, recalling their motto, "A place for everything, and everything in its place." My sister and I shared the personal items, I kept two small antique tables, we made small quilted pieces from my Mom's favorite house dresses, and donated or threw away the rest. It made a sad time easier. Thank you for a great and very helpful video.
You mentioned losing your brother, first I'm so sorry to hear that. And second, thank you. I also lost my brother, he was also in his twenties (21) and I also aquired a lot of his few items that he had out in Cali. I recently have tried to remind myself that he doesn't live in his belongings and it has been hard for me to let go of those things. But learning and reminding myself he won't disappear from my memory if his items aren't there.
I think this is a REALLY great idea! You never know when your day will come & you dont want your family to keep things just because they were yours & want a piece of you by their side, even if itâs trash. Thank you for this vid, I needed it!đđŒ
Iâm 63 this makes complete sense to me. Iâve kept only the most special pieces from my mother. And I tell my grown daughter what I feel she should keep from me đ€·ââïž I had a neighbor who was a kind of shopper hoarder and it took multiple friends to help clean out the house when she died. I would never want that for my children. Itâs hard enough to grieve the death without being faced with a home of stuff. Fantastic video. Love the reality too. We are all only human
Your daughter will thank you later. đ My husband and I are doing the same for our kids.
I wish my parents saw it that way too LOL They're around their mid-sixties now, and I joke around with my sibling that if anything ever happens to them, we'll have to take a two-month-long vacation just to sort through (most, I hope) of their stuff.
I think that's the main point. "It's hard enough grieving, let alone going through their stuff. Being in my 60s and having to deal with parents dying is a burden. Mine my spouse's. And friends parents.
My wonderful father-in-law passed away last year, and having been raised by Depression Era parents, he saved everything. My husband and his siblings are digging through barns (yep, plural) of stuff, from large outdated machinery and equipment and furniture to tools, clothes -- basically anything that could one day be used or once had value. He also loved a good auction. It is completely overwhelming to contemplate. I am not a hoarder myself, but still -- way too much. This practice is three-fold: easing into life where you've acquired enough to be comfortable, recognizing that needs and wants are often exclusive, and choosing to avoid burdening your kids and family. I adored my FIL -- such a kind and loving and profoundly generous man, but the stuff is taking up so much time and energy. It's been a good lesson for me in my 50's to consider the less is more approach.
Sometimes we do not want to rid ourselves of the item that holds memories of our younger time. There is energy there. Keep the good stuff.
I just wanted to let you know I found your channel and it helped my life so much! I did so much spring cleaning and organizing that has been years in the making because of your channel. Thanks for changing our lives. Have a great day.
My parents died a year apart. My father having been in WW2, they were of the mentality of that era, and held onto everything. The contents of their basement alone, would have provided for the entire neighborhood in an apocalyptic event. It was organized hoarding. Buying many items because they were âon saleâ. The task left to my sister and I was horrendous, but we sorted methodically through things that revealed lots of gems. We learned a lot that we hadnât known about our parents. What we chose to do, was look through for items we wanted, and then hired an Estate Sale company. They pulled items to sell, and took the remaining to charity, and shelters that my parents often provided for. It was so worth the money it cost to do this, as it saved our sanity. We both went home and did massive cleaning and organizing of our own homes, and vowed to NEVER leave a task like that to our loved ones. Watching this made me look around the house with itchy fingers, wondering what I can get rid of!
You and your parents sound like great, caring people. l recently came from a shelter to an apartment đand can tell you firsthand how what may seem a small thing can mean SO MUCH when you have so little. It's people like you that help make the world a better place ! P.S. You are funny , too. Be well , my Friend!
Oh man. The ornament idea...I held onto my dads clothing because I feared/fear Id regret it. I got the courage to start letting things go. I held onto a couple pieces and I'm going to make some ornaments with them. It will really mean something especially bc my dad who swore he hated Christmas always made it so special for me.
Okay I LOVE that Christmas ornament idea using a passed loved one's clothing. Also, the tampon being stored away like a squirrel is hilariousđ€Ł
At the moment I'm trying to go through my parents home that I moved into to look after my father. After losing them both I'm finding it hard to sort their belongings so this has really helped get my head around what path I should be on. Thankyou x
Iâm 74, and purging things so my daughters will not have to is big on my mind. I have one small memory bin, with a few things in it. Sometimes I think I should write a note as to what meaning they have. A project for another time.
Tidying ever day before going to bed started when my children were very young, I worked with a person who was a volunteer firefighter, there was a front page picture of a house that had a fire, it was truly a mess. Commenting on it, he said, âyou should see some of the houses we go intoâ. From that time, before bedtime, I would say to my kids, âstraighten up incase the firemen comeâ. Now it never occurred to me that this would give them nightmares, which it didnât, but it did develop the habit of tidying up. Now that I am older, I think to myself, straighten up incase the paramedics comeâŠ.. Tidying up just becomes a habit.
Write that letter now. Don't put it off! I lost my mom very unexpectedly in May she had just turned 61. I so wish I had found some hand written stuff like that.
Please make a recording of your voice, as well. It doesn't have to be a long message. Anything will do. A bedtime story, a simple 'I love you", or even nagging at them to clean their room if they have that sort of silly sense of humor.
I have pictures and treasured items and cherished memories... but I will never hear his soothing voice again. đ„ș