Advice Q&A: Dating Someone In the Closet | When Will Sexual Attraction Come? | Why Is She Ghosting?

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  • čas přidán 22. 07. 2021
  • Check out Ana Luisa ❤️ shop.analuisa.com/alexislilia...
    Their pieces start at $39, and you can get 20% off with their summer sale! ☀️
    Need some advice? Get a personalized, private video response from us here: www.wisio.com/Alexis_and_Lilian
    Finally getting around to doing a new video, and finally our long promised "Ask Alexis and Lilian segment"! We will be doing more of these going forward, so please send us your questions either via email or on Instagram, and we may pick it for the next video.
    In this video, we answer:
    - Why am I not physically/sexually attracted to her?
    - How do you deal with dating someone in the closet, when you are out?
    - What do do when a girl is ghosting you?
    Thank you to our sponsor Ana Luisa for making this video possible.
    Love,
    A + L
    / one99four
    / liliangessner
  • Zábava

Komentáře • 50

  • @AlexisLilian
    @AlexisLilian  Před 3 lety +33

    Hey friends, it's been a hot minute - sorry for being MIA, unfortunately work's been getting in the way of fun things! Here is our first #askalexisandlilian advice video, if you want your question answered in future videos, please comment or send them to us! For a private, guaranteed response, please send them on Wisio: www.wisio.com/Alexis_and_Lilian

  • @xcolettexx
    @xcolettexx Před 3 lety +85

    You look on this vid like a human couple version of yin&yang, hair as the dots :D

  • @danielaordonez1821
    @danielaordonez1821 Před 3 lety +34

    Watching this video gave me a bit of peace of mind as I'm the one still in the closet and I feel really bad all the time because I can't open up in public or on social media with my girlfriend because I'm not ready to get out of the closet yet and I am aware that this is not fair to her. We've already talked about this and she's fine waiting for me. I love her

    • @abicooks
      @abicooks Před 2 lety +1

      Oh u deserve anything girl x

  • @Tara........
    @Tara........ Před 3 lety +27

    I dated someone firmly in the closet once. Never again! It's just not worth the pain unless that person has a definite and reasonable timeline for coming out.

    • @marianarovoredo2059
      @marianarovoredo2059 Před 2 lety +10

      It sucks to be the " friend", when in reality we are more than that

    • @d.3578
      @d.3578 Před 2 lety +2

      what would you say if its just around their parents? i cant out myself to my parents/family but otherwise i wouldn't have an issue

    • @Tara........
      @Tara........ Před 2 lety

      @@d.3578 That's something you have to figure out between you and your partner.

  • @coconutoes
    @coconutoes Před 3 lety +27

    amidst my adolescence, i've come to the realization that i like girls. i am unsure as to whether i'm completely attracted to men, but i'm partially solid on the actuality that i'm bisexual. i wholey came to the realization when i found myself crushing on a childhood friend... i found out that she's queer, as well--i was so happy that i could not stop smiling. one thing lead to another, and we are talking. i'm extremely happy, and i've realized that i may whole-heartedly prefer women over men. although, i am still young and naive, and i am yet to experience life, serious relationships, etc. watching your guys' videos provides me a sense of security... being with a woman feels warm and right. the only issue is that, if i am bisexual, my mom won't necessarily accept it as it is, especially at this age. i would prefer just coming out to her, noting that i like girls, not putting any weight on the idea that i may be bisexual. another issue is that the girl i like has completely homophobic parents. if we even ever wanted to date, it would have to be in secret (i could easily act like a friend going over to another friend's house). anyway, that's the short, long story i felt like sharing; i hope whoever read this, at the least, enjoyed it!

    • @xcolettexx
      @xcolettexx Před 3 lety +9

      Dear, it seems like you're trying to navigate parents' expectations, while the real expectation to have here is for parents to love and accept their kids for how they really are. But in our flawed society, it is obviously too much to ask sometimes, which is deeply upsetting and can be so, so harmful. I wish you a lot of peace of mind and just doing what feels right to you. Your life is yours (even if it can not feel like it at times, while under the parent's wings). If you will be happy, people you love need to accept it in the end, no matter how long it will take :)

    • @coconutoes
      @coconutoes Před 3 lety +5

      @@xcolettexx thank you for this! i appreciate it, and i will most certainly take your words into consideration, and apply them to myself.

  • @josepha133
    @josepha133 Před 3 lety +13

    The answer to the first question was so helpful to me even though I wasn't the one asking it. Thank you.

  • @loupelizzo2399
    @loupelizzo2399 Před 3 lety +3

    I enjoy and love seeing you here again and just loved the advice and stories you told us, thank you so much for this video and I just loved it. Whenever you can do a video I’ll enjoy it so just when you can

  • @ellamargarethehemmann7840

    yaayyy I loved this talk and missed your work online so much! thank youu :))

  • @scubagoldfish45
    @scubagoldfish45 Před 3 lety +1

    Great protips as usual! I hope you're having fun in Italy!!

  • @Hritwik007
    @Hritwik007 Před 3 lety +7

    Good to see you back... I thought u quit CZcams.. But with such busy schedule I understand it is really hard for you to focus on CZcams

  • @amandaconnell653
    @amandaconnell653 Před 3 lety

    Heyyy! Nice to have you back! Really liked the info on ghosting & quite agree its very different if you haven't met them in person. Looking forward to the next chat. 👍👍💖💖 🇬🇧 🇬🇧

  • @208sM
    @208sM Před 3 lety

    Lilian you so smart!

  • @ariselissanchez417
    @ariselissanchez417 Před 3 lety

    And how cute is Alexis, wowie😍😍😍

  • @ariselissanchez417
    @ariselissanchez417 Před 3 lety +3

    Beautiful couple, mashallah❤️

  • @aiidagaysina9688
    @aiidagaysina9688 Před 3 lety

    best, thanks

  • @pranavig2340
    @pranavig2340 Před 3 lety +4

    I m gonna get a gf soon! Thanks a lot for your videos, they help me a lot!

  • @raha704
    @raha704 Před 3 lety

    Love you from Iran😍😍

  • @elizabethcaron2970
    @elizabethcaron2970 Před 2 lety +5

    I need some advice for my first queer date, I just came out as lesbian this year and ahh it's amazing. I gave a girl my number and it's going good so im thinking of asking her if she wants to hangout, I thought about taking her to a carnival type thing coming up. Would that be a good first date? There'll be lot of rides and things to do but I'm unsure.

  • @ariselissanchez417
    @ariselissanchez417 Před 3 lety

    Lilian knows her shit😍😍😍😍

  • @giuliascarpetti2079
    @giuliascarpetti2079 Před 3 lety

    Omg Italy where? ✨

  • @pandalover848
    @pandalover848 Před 2 lety

    I’ve been out since I was 16
    I’m dating a girl in the closet, even though it’s difficult, we’ve talked about it and she does plan to come out after she’s no longer reliant on her family financially

  • @mariannamaddock1537
    @mariannamaddock1537 Před 3 lety

    Omg where in Italy!? Ciao da Roma!

  • @cybelemarie7913
    @cybelemarie7913 Před 2 lety

    Well, at the end of the day, the sun goes down and it gets dark and we have night.

  • @kenziestoneman7141
    @kenziestoneman7141 Před 3 lety +1

    I'm in the process of moving and finances are very tight but can you send me a link to get that naked lady necklace and I will definitely get it but it'll probably be in a couple of months I just don't want to forget it forget where I saw it because I really really like it thank you very much I love you both and I definitely consider both of y'all sisters and I love you very much!!

  • @bradbowlamma3039
    @bradbowlamma3039 Před 2 lety +1

    this year make it 10 years I'm single... won't mind having a boyfriend, I'm gay but I'm not out (except to a few friends I really consider), live in a what not ghetto neighborhood that's quite homophobic, work in a paramilitary organization where toxic masculinity runs rampant the and l live with my parents which are homophobic preachers... alot of guys wanted to be with me but I couldn't because I didn't feel like I have the freedom to actually have an actual relationship... unless I take on a girlfriend of course... but I don't like the idea of deceiving and even hurting someone's innocent daughter. truly is a lonesome life for me... a colleague was asking how am I single this long... "you're a good looking individual, decent job, fun, highly talented individual. it's a shock no one scooped you up yet." "won't you want someone in your life... a family, kids"... wanted to tell him but my stomach twisted on the spots and I couldn't get the words "I'm gay" to come out my mouth... I just simply lit a cigarette and said "it's complicated" what more could I have done...

  • @sassi7124
    @sassi7124 Před 3 lety +1

    Ihr zwei seit mega suss ❤️❤️❤️🌹🌹🌹

  • @jbsang54
    @jbsang54 Před 3 lety +7

    Hi I'm in my mid-sixties and I have been looking a long time to find a partner. I've gone on dating sites I've done word-of-mouth I I just can't seem to find anyone. Do you have any suggestions how to meet more mature lesbians? I seem to be at my wit's end LOL LOL thank you so much

  • @meghab8412
    @meghab8412 Před 3 lety +1

    Hello you two lovelies... Im from India.. 🙋

  • @gillianslattery1765
    @gillianslattery1765 Před 3 lety +2

    Welcome back, you've been missed. Understandable with your busy lives tho

  • @orabellaventuri1315
    @orabellaventuri1315 Před 3 lety

    👍

  • @kencoleman5007
    @kencoleman5007 Před 3 lety +6

    The whole ultimatum subject reminds me of something I went through. I met someone on Match, and after I told her that I was exploring the e likelihood of being trans, she told me that she was pan. While doing art together and having deep discussions, she suggested that I watch L-Word on Netflix. She became so sure that I was trans that she told be that she would feel like she was living a lie if I didn't come out to everyone. She backed up a little the next day for putting me on the spot, and said that for now we could just be friends. I never directly heard from her again, but saw that she got am OK CUPID profile listing herself as straight, and I was like "Isn't that ironic?". Now, I'm sometimes passable (not 100% sure on if I am trans, but the more I experiment, the more comfortable I am, and the more dysphoric I get when someone calls me "sir", says "You the man", or "It's a guy!"), and am wondering if I may make that big step by Christmas.

    • @lunasailormoon
      @lunasailormoon Před 3 lety +3

      That was really weird that she was pushing you so much. I'd say you dodged a bullet lol. Best of luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @kencoleman5007
      @kencoleman5007 Před 3 lety +2

      @@lunasailormoon Thank you. I had told my therapist about it, and it seems that something this woman had been dealing with has taught her to not keep such secrets bottled up. After that discussion (empathize with her reasoning to some degree), I opened up to a lesbian couple in my extended family about exploring gender identity. I've been first telling some family members who are also part of "The community" because they may be able to relate more with the exploration of identity.
      The more that I look into myself (and when I see myself in the mirror), I wonder about gender. The distant famiarity in the moments of feminine expression, and when I sometimes feel like a method actor playing male archetypes. All the while, it's with queer women that I relate so much. In my lovelife, I'm a sappy romantic who's worried that women have chemistry with may only be attracted to me as a man, wanting to be honest on dating sites so that a partner isn't caught by surprise with a coming out, and... knowing that my most sensual relationship (a legit gift in my eyes) was on Second Life, through a female avatar with a corrections officer from Australia who thought I was probably trans. Or a guy with particularly high levels of estrogen.

  • @riam5973
    @riam5973 Před 3 lety

    ♥️♥️🌷🌷

  • @kenziestoneman7141
    @kenziestoneman7141 Před 3 lety

    I love that naked lady necklace

  • @Pr1ncessYak
    @Pr1ncessYak Před 3 lety

    Can you do an Italy vlog?

  • @johnnysins6851
    @johnnysins6851 Před 3 lety +9

    Most important question you didn't answer was how to comprised after argument/fight when you were in a relationship. Hope we will be adviced

    • @AlexisLilian
      @AlexisLilian  Před 3 lety +2

      Thanks for your question! Will write it down for the next one :)

  • @izziemoore3217
    @izziemoore3217 Před 3 lety

    but why does alexis look like the corpse bride (in a good way) btw love ur vids and y'all r so cute

  • @marisolrivera5369
    @marisolrivera5369 Před 3 lety +1

    I just want to say... Cuties!! Bye.

  • @virgilmcclendon5072
    @virgilmcclendon5072 Před 3 lety

    😎😃😊😜😍😘💖

  • @michaelweir6274
    @michaelweir6274 Před 3 lety +1

    Alexia and Lillian I have just watched eight question what lesbians do what has it got to do with men what you should do is get two straight men and two straight women and ask them question about them I straight I have a daughter who is a lesbian and my wife and her other sister and brother do not mind what she is they say good luck love your videos keep it up love bye.

  • @PathosTaeManicCartoon
    @PathosTaeManicCartoon Před 11 měsíci

    You`re a man ...so is goddess(A 1) about your despairable joke(A 2) or like Roboinsect that agrees on your challenge?